DominicsJoy

I have been on Collarme for over 10 years now. I have seen people come and go in that time. Lots of scammers and idiots... but... even with all the abuse on Collarme there are those genuine few that honestly deserve to find that special person they seek.

I use collarme to contact others, either to keep in touch or to send out an invite for a munch. Yes, I am a slave. Yes, I do this with the full knowledge and consent of my Master. IF you cannot handle this all you need to do is politely let me know and I will hide you from my view and not contact you again. I try to be courteous and respect other's wishes, but for some reason there are those here that seem to delight in befuddling me. 

If you are so caught up in protocol or fantasy and don't understand that even a slave can have a brain, you probably don't deserve the contact in the first place. I wish there was an IQ meter here, but the creators have not designed one. Nor do they think that policing the site is necessary, so many will abuse until they lose the profile and create another nearly identical one to abuse again. (So many idiots, so little patience). It makes me wonder about their home life or lack thereof. 

I try to be careful about who and 'what' I contact but occasionally I slip. If I have 'slipped' and contact you (you being the afore mentioned idiot) try to bring your fingers to the keyboard and type or cut and paste from below:

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Gee joy, I am sorry to say that I am content sitting in front of my computer and whining that I cannot find anyone. Best contact someone else and block my sorry self from being contacted again.

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I will then block you and hide you from view because I learn from my mistakes. 

TRANSLATION FOR THE IQ IMPAIRED

IF YOU ARE REALLY STUPID, MEAN, OR POOP YOUR PANTS- TELL JOY AND SHE WILL NOT BOTHER YOU AGAIN.  (yeah... we are not into the whole diaper thing either)... ick

will climb down off soap box now....

If you post online that you are wonder why people are not polite to you than it would be best to show some consideration yourself. If contacted, in a polite way, it is common courtesy to at least acknowledge the contact even if you are not interested. 

Why does this need to be stated??

A decade ago I had a pen pal. He lived in Long Island. He would talk about wanting a woman to grace his arm as he went to shows and dined out. He was surprised to find a sympathetic ear here. What ever happened to a woman dressing up to go out? To proudly walk with her Master/Dom/ Husband/Significant other/Date? 

Is it so foreign of a concept for a woman to want to look her best to please and entice him? When I do get taken out, it is a challenge to surprise him. To make him feel as blessed as I do to be with him. I try to look my best, and when his arm is offered I gladly slip mine inside and walk beside him. I understand that my behavior reflects upon him as well. I do my best to make him proud to own me. When we are at home, I still try to do all I can to delight him. I cook to please, and when called upon I enjoy making something special. I see so many that rail about how there are no real people here to 'jump' at their offer. When reading their profiles all I see is a blatant disrespect for others and a selfish and callous attitude. Is it any wonder they are alone?

If I had one wish it would be that everyone online would take a moment and spread one smile to another. Compliment a well written profile, admire a photo that is posted, or invite someone to a munch or public event nearby. If everyone here reached out, taking a moment of their time, the spreading ripple would be the size of a Tsunami by the time it reached the vanilla world! 

I have hip waders ready and live on high ground, just in case.

Dominants seem to love the phrase "my way or the highway"... While I understand the intent, I would like to footnote the sentiment.

If you are in charge, and making all the rules, then one would think (giving all the benefit of the doubt here), that you are a reasonable person who has some real world experience. Most experienced Doms realize that if they make unreasonable demands and unattainable rules they will end up sleeping alone. 

I would submit that if you really want to have and KEEP a submissive, find a common ground. A situation that meets all of your needs and hers. That way both feel fulfilled and are not feeling like a martyr. This way the relationship has room to grow and blossom. 

If both are happy, then both spend more time doing what each wants. How much better can it get? So yes, get your way (within reason) but remember that others are involved. If you help them find happiness, you profit. If they feel fulfilled they want to be with you. The more you help them the more you help yourself. It is a self fulfilling act.

I honestly don't understand why most don't see this aspect, but it seems to me that most Doms do not, or won't invest the time or energy into it. What they are missing is HUGE. When you have someone who feels needed, appreciated and loved they will give you their all. That is what being a Dominant is all about isn't it? 

It seems that I need to state that Master and I do not yahoo. I have never liked yahoo, and the recent compromise of millions of it's subscriber's information seems to prove my point. 

Also, I do not randomly accept friend requests from strangers. I think that defeats the point. If you would like to be friends please invest the time to get to know me first.

More and more I notice people who are married using this site to fool around on their spouse, and people willing to accept that behavior. This is the type of behavior that gives our lifestyle, culture, and generation a bad name. You pledge vows to another, and then opt to run out to cheat on them. What truly amazes me is that there is no shortage of partners who actually believe that once you fool around on your spouse you will somehow be true to them. 

I really wish Collarme would add a search that would eliminate words... i.e. Discrete. 

I notice as the profiles march by that many state that they have been searching for 'years'. Is that years of basement time in front of a computer? I struggle with thinking that anyone has to spend years searching for the right someone if they themselves are willing to put forth any effort at all. I don't say that magic someone is right around the corner, or that you should settle for the first person you see..... but.... knowing that we all have some sort of idea who we are searching for (hopefully), that criteria should be flexible enough to allow for finding some satisfactory person... i.e. 

1. The general disposition of person you desire (Dom/sub/slave)

2. The sexual orientation you seek (hetro, homo, not picky)

3. A general idea of limitations (hard limits) that you need in place ... i.e. no smokers, no necrophilia, no old potato peelings in the bed... etc.

4. Things you desire out of the relationship i.e. bedroom only, 24/7

5. Area. Are you looking for someone local or are you willing to relocate if need be?

From here start looking. This means get up from the computer and attend events. Get out there. Once you start meeting others not only do you dramatically increase your chances of finding someone, but you also increase your information and networking base. This will allow you to check into a potential partners local reputation within the community. This is important for your safety and well being. If you get out and speak to others there is a greater likelihood that you will encounter that special person sooner or later. Remember to keep the rules general and not so specific as to eliminate EVERYONE. 

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Another visit to the gallery. Rough around the edges and needing a lot of work. Enthusiasm to spare though. I am hoping that this may be a truly uplifting experience. So many talented people, and this will be a wonderful outlet. 

Who is my Master? 

When I began my search I didn't think I was a slave, but I had a very good idea of who and what I needed to fill the void in my life. The more I look around the more it seems clear that most start their search with no idea of what to do or what they want. Perhaps it was due to my age or experience, but I had a clear idea. I knew I needed a 1950's man, someone strong and determined. I knew he needed to be understanding and patient (yes, they can all go together). With this in mind I began attending munches in the area, having already seen that online sites had a lot of predators and fantasy schlocks. 

My Master was there waiting for me at the very first gathering. He watched as I met everyone. He held back and spoke to me minimally the first time we met, preferring to see how I handled myself around others in this new situation. 

The next meeting was different. He spoke a bit more and sat near me for a while. I was intrigued and excited to be noticed. I was not sure if I would say the right things, because I had no idea what the 'right things' were. I waited. 

The next munch he pulled me aside. We went to a secluded area and spoke for almost 4 hours. He pulled and pried information from me, embarrassing details of a marriage gone wrong. Hurtful things from the past that had shamed me and caused tears over the years. His hands were there, holding me as we spoke. The connection was formed. It had begun. 

He gave me his impressions, his definitions and his outlook for my future. It thrilled and exhillerated (sp) me to think that this was something that I could be a part of - a relationship where I could be fulfilled also. He explained to me that BDSM worked best when both parties got fulfillment from the relationship and were able to grow. Like two sides of a coin becoming balanced and helping to mirror the other's needs. This was what I needed. I had no desire to be brow beaten by a bully. I didn't want endless humiliation or torment. I wanted a lover, companion, mentor, friend, teacher and Master. Not every Dom is a Master. Not every schlock on this site who professes to be a Dom is a Dom. Most are just bullies who need to feel better about themselves by thinking that somehow they are superior to someone else. This includes the women here also. Those that want tribute for the privilege of speaking to a sub or letting someone sniff their panties. ICK. 

My Master did not need to make demands. He gave me a choice. I saw what he wanted, what he needed and realized that it was within my grasp to offer to him. I had found someone who would appreciate a thinking, functioning slave. He knew I did not need his hovering. I did not need to be micromanaged to do what he desired. By giving me a bit of freedom to find ways to please and delight him he ensnared me in a tender trap of servitude that has now lasted over 10 years. As we age together I see that we are learning from each other and truly finding those places that we can grow and nurture. 

When you truly look for another person and your heart searches to fill that void, make sure you are ready to commit fully to what you find when you find them. I have found him, and am very happy in the results of my search. 

  one of my all-time favorite you tube videos.... Starring Judy Tenuta as a Domme.

Once in a while I see a video that just makes me laugh. The Japanese have put out a piece of 'something' and now it has me wishing I could read Japanese subtitles. But even without them it is enough to put a smile on my face.

What a treat to go out on his arm, dressed nicely with him looking dapper. Arriving at a restaurant and turning the heads of those who don't know how to 'dress for dinner'. A product of a bygone era, I was raised that when you went out in public you were supposed to look your best. A woman was supposed to be something that a man desired to have. I look around me and see people in sweat pants, torn clothing and disgusting attire and can't help but think of my Father rolling in his grave.

Small things that I can do to honor both men (Father, Master) and such little effort. Taking the time to carefully choose my clothing. Making sure to look my best. Doing all I can to make them proud. In the end the feeling of satisfaction I receive when I see a head turn toward us and smile with appreciation, or a man meet my Master's eyes and nod. This is enough to warm my heart. I miss the days where women enjoyed being women. Master delights in seeing thigh highs or hosiery being worn with the garter belt. The delicate hose stretched over my legs, giving them a tan that I seem to never achieve in life. 

In the quiet of the morning I muse over the men in my life and the joy they have brought me - the things they have taught. 

Honest people don't need discretion. Cheaters do.

It's difficult to put into words just how much this lifestyle can  make a difference in a person's life. When your entire life begins to make sense and you finally understand why you react the way you do to circumstances around you. Even more importantly, you find someone who can appreciate and value the way you are instead of thinking that it is a weakness of yours or a poor character trait.

Above all the things I have experienced in this lifestyle, learning that if I truly trust who I am and am willing to trust that person with another and know that I will find acceptance and love- THAT makes this worthwhile.

Out of the blue a slave appears who seems to offer a unique fit. No idea where it will lead as HE is not exactly what we were looking for. Still, we will take it slow and no matter what happens we plan on having a friendship regardless.

Today a wonderful chance to get out and look for some great bargains in the snow. Still struggling with migraines with the barometric pressure changes, but overall seeing improvement in the chronic pain from them.

So many lonely people. When will they learn the secret?

Some of us choose to let situations influence us to our own (and society's) detriment. Others make a choice to take the lessons life hands us inward and try to find some benefit. I have struggled with being a 'handicapped optimist' all of my life. I am empathetic and highly influenced by those around me. This usually results in a downward pull. Most of us love to live in a negative state. I choose to enjoy the feel of the sun on my face. I thank heaven for the joy of a new snowflake or a raindrop softly falling to lull me to sleep. I hate being in pain from a migraine, and seeing the influence it has on my Master, yet I thank God for them so that I understand pain. 

As I wrote to someone recently, I think that submissives as a whole tend to be overly sensitive- just the way we are wired. That said, most Dominants tend to be taken as aloof because of the need of control. This results in a feeling of distance between the two. I am by no means an expert, but I do have what I think is a very successful relationship while others around me struggle.

This lifestyle, even moreso than vanilla, takes communication, understanding and patience on both parts. You cannot approach it with a handbook and expect it to be cut and dry. The fluid nature of bdsm and life prevents that. Instead we all look for that special person who will somehow fulfill our own needs and desires. When we do find that person the change required is minimal, acceptance is a given and something magic occurs.

My wish here is that every person find that special relationship (okay, almost every person- we know that there are some real weanies here). When you approach life, or the lifestyle with a truly open nature and lay yourself on the line, you open up the possibilities. What if I get hurt? Hurt may be part of the process. It is a little scary, but not near as scary as the person who never tries. Imagine yourself in 5 years. I have seen the same profiles sitting here untouched for 5 years with people complaining they are still looking. I can't help but wonder if they are truly looking... AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER AND SAFE ZONE... or if they are happy to just sit in a basement somewhere hiding and complaining. If you never take a chance you only have yourself to blame.

Try looking at your own profile. Does it talk about your dreams, your ideals, your life? Does it offer a glimpse to others of what life with you would be? Or, like some, does it scream "Do me!" I suppose if all you want is a one night stand and no depth in the relationship that is fine, but sooner or later most of us want something more.

It is nearly time to begin breakfast preparation. I will climb off my soapbox.

Master and I are discussing a third. If you are interested you should already reside in Northern Colorado or Southern Wyoming.

You should be relocatable after it is determined that there is chemistry. You should be able to contribute. You will be open to the idea of pleasing others and being submissive.

You will be a woman. Sorry, but no men, no cd's, no trans... a woman. 

Be prepared to discuss at length the opportunity and send a photo. If things go well online you will be expected to meet with us in a public and safe environment. We are both very safety conscious and would never expect anyone to endanger themselves at a first time meeting.

I do not accept friend invitations to people Master or I have never met. That is not by definition a friend... if you have never met us, never spoken with us, etc... you are a stranger. Do you really need that made any clearer?

I seem to have "upset" a local homophobe.

It never ceases to amaze me how dense some people can choose to be. They make their "demands" without clarification, and show their ignorance by doing so. Subs are now mind readers, diaper changers and must have wading boots issued as standard equipment with these people. If you choose to show your stupidity, please... leave me out of the loop. Inflict yourself elsewhere. If you can't bother to read a profile, don't contact me. And definately don't lie and claim you have read it when you have no comprenhension. Amazing!

It never ceases to amaze me to what depths some will sink. Boasting that they are Dominant, and offer outstanding growth and possibilities for any sub they decide to "favor"... yet stating that they are polyamourous.

Is it just me? Is there anything in the relationship for the sub? If by chance the sub is not homosexual or bi, they are reduced to competing for scraps of affection. Hmmmm, thank you, but NO. 

A chance encounter to fullfill a fantasy is one thing, but a lifetime of bickering over who gets to bed a self centered Dom is another. If the sub is good, one should be more than adequate.

Yes, I am biased, and proud of it. I like his attention, and I love being able to lavish my love on him without having to make an appointment. If you truly serve someone who has told you that you are just, "one of many" I would question why. Is this person greedy, trying to outdo someone else? Are they never happy, or non commital? I have met several Doms who just do this for bragging rights. 

Some of us are not impressed.

Have a girl, and take the best care of her you can. She will, in turn, make you glad you made the commitment.

Just my opinion....
Master's girl
joy