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sakura
 Kinky4Kinkette
Pan Transgender Submissive, 56, Tampa, Florida 

April 2026: 


I'm a transfemale sub or slave.  I'm looking for dominants who are aggressive, safe and sane,  where I can trust that when I say no limits, you know what that means.    I truly get my joy from bringing happiness to others.  Its important to me to put a smile on your face through sexual and domestic servitude, or my being the exhibitionist dungeon slave.    




I wish to develop myself into a true slave, or as close as I can get.  Can you help?   




I'm retired, insured, healthy, and sane.  I'm not looking for anyone to support me  




Oh, I'm single, and I'm a cock and cum loving lesbian, I am looking for a life partner.   Female, younger than me, and hopefully at least as perverted and openminded as I am.   

It occurred to me in one of my edits, I forgot to reattach my HIV transparency notice.  Important to keep on here not only for general education but for potential partner notification as well.   

I have been HIV positive undetectable since 2000. I've been on medication for it since 2001, and I've had an undetectable viral load ever since then. I am NOT contagious. As long as I take my one pill a day, I can't possibly share HIV with anyone. This is no longer the scary thing that it was in the 1980's, as long as you are on medication. Here's the science behind it: http://aumag.org/2018/08/07/partner2-study-confirms-undetectable-equals-untransmittable/


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Submissive Trans, 48
  New Jersey
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How hard is it to actually read a profile before messaging someone? I mean really, it's not that difficult to do, either that or people just don't care. Seeing the messages I get it seems both. You want fuckmeat, move on I'm not it. I'm also sure as hell am not sharing my picture with anyone until I feel comfortable with you. I will also say again that this is the fastest way for me to ignore your messages and/or block you:  1. Clearly not reading my profile, I'll know if you are not from or around the location I stated, being right out disrespectful and thinking I'll actually want your "guidance" or be your "toy" when you couldn't take the time to look at my interest list or my limits which are all up to date.  2. Sending me pictures without asking me, this includes any kind of picture. If I want to see what you look like I will ask. Same with sending me a phone number or any other type of social media ID, if I want it I'll ask. 3. If you can't open a conversation with more than "Hi, how are you?" or just "Hi." Then I'm not interested, I like substance and if you can send a good opening message then I'll be more likely to wanna talk to you don't bother with anything half assed it just won't work.  4. You're profile and/or interest list is blank. I could understand if your proifle is brand new but if you've been on this site for more than a month I think you've had plenty of time to write and add in your interests. That helps me guage what kind of person you are. 
drama at home :( mom turned her back on me and gave me an outcasted look earlier today all for her hubbys aproval... however i know shell do anything in the world to give my little brother a "fauther" exp. even it mean Xing me...  in the end i cant hate her for what shes doing but dang .... talk about a shotgun round to the heart :(    big empty hole needs to be filled .... lol get it.    im very loyal and honest to the bone probably the nicest person youll ever encounter however dont get misslead ... i totally love to push my envolope and live life on the edge... ive expirienced and expiriemented with a lot in my opinion ... please dont ask... "" what kinda exp do you have -_____-"" just fill in the blanks as we conversate ... ... im ALL go with the flow so more then likey i dont know what im doing next week so idk if id be available or intrested in meeting you.. i know im not always on here but im ready for my next chapter and willing to give a special someone all of me to mold into their perfect being :)note im intrested in heading out to Texas, NY or socal(home) however not a deal breaker im just as intrested in nearly anywhere on the east or west COST!! more inland .... ehhh but will consider of course :) if your intrested drop a message anyone who takes a chance on me wont be disappointed. oh ps.. NO Flakes and for gods sake picture please .... 
I've gotten love-bombed by two different local people this year. I didn't recognize it the first time and paid for it. I did recognize it this time during a break in online conversation, and I'm glad: I really got to explore what the flags were, how I reacted to them at the time, and how I felt when I realized what I was experiencing. It seems to work. After all, who doesn't like praise? But when it's praise for stuff that shouldn't be that big of deal from someone who is not disclosing ... anything about themselves, that's a red flag.
Also known as "well, you're fat and ugly and I didn't like you anyway!" Yet another rando on 9/24/25 at 5:59 AM: Hi maam I am an exp slave and was in a female led marriage with my late wife for 11 years . I seek to serve again. I am a true service slave and verty domestic. I have no limits as long as legal. Hope we may talk maam   angeldmort on 9/24/25 at 9:30 AM: And what part of this email is something you haven't sent to every other Domme with a nice picture? Its insulting that you view us as interchangeable, generic vending machines for your kink.   Yet another rando on 9/24/25 at 10:20 AM: On tbe contrary. Not sure who told you that you have a nice picture   And so many of you guys insist it's Dommes who are fake... All this would be sad if it weren't so hilariously predictable.
Car service I was just notified by My car dealer that it was time to take My van in for service. What a drag. That means two or three hours out of My day just to keep that damn thing in shape. Where is My slave? My next car with be an electric vehicle. No service is required for it. Cheaper and more convenient. Gotta love it.
Right now i am currently out of the country on a business job. Its looking like around may or June when ill come back. Had to take the work for financial reasons for my living expenses and personal expenses for this potential new sissy life style im pursuing. Was reaching out to people to see who's out there when I come back, if you cant wait that long then look for someone else. I don't want to hold back masters who want something right now.   
It's odd to me that some men don't understand why there are women on here (and in general) who don't want to do what they want.  Men who contact women dick or fetish first, either visually or through words, and are peeved that the women aren't ready to immediately engage with them the way they expected.  "Hey, lady, if you don't want to do what interests me, why are you even here?!  Since I find you attractive, you have to find me attractive, too!"  How terribly disappointing for them to discover that women have their own interests and come here (and anywhere else) to pursue what they want.  Like, a xxx69MasterChode69xxx or a MrSirDomPencilDick4Lyf are really under the impression that women have been online just waiting for when they would contact them.  There's no other reason a woman would be online.   I know I certainly don't have my own interests and kinks.  Of course not.  I've just been waiting for another pic of an utterly forgettable male member in an endless onslaught of utterly forgettable male members or a lame headless torso, or worse yet, a vanilla guy who thinks a sloppy bj qualifies as "kinky" on a kink site.  I'm interested in pursuing my own kinks with the people who interest me.  I don't care what a guy wants.  I didn't ask about his fetishes.  I don't request pictures, so I'm not trying to see someone's face, body, or dick.  And unless my curiosity has been piqued enough that I'd be open to pursuing anything with a guy, none of those things are relevant to me.  I am here for my reasons, my kinks, my sexual pursuits.  They don't have to be the same as yours.  I am not going to pander to what a guy wants just because he wants it.  
As promised, here is a copy of your BDSMTest result with ID uZkZThzx100% Degradee100% Rope bunny100% Submissive99% Voyeur93% Exhibitionist92% Pet92% Slave85% Masochist80% Experimentalist70% Primal (Prey)59% Non-monogamist30% Vanilla9% Brat4% Primal (Hunter)0% Daddy/Mommy0% Rigger0% Ageplayer0% Brat tamer0% Degrader0% Dominant0% Little0% Master/Mistress0% Owner0% Sadist0% SwitchYou can also view it online at https://bdsmtest.org/r/uZkZThzx?lang=EN
  Not my words but found this interesting;   Five Stages Of Degradation   Stage 1: DenialThe subject has not yet acknowledged the reality in which it exists. It may see Your intentions but believe You are not willing to go through with them, or it may imagine You are playing a game with it. Moving quickly beyond this stage is typically not difficult, but while doing so, keep Your longterm goals in mind.   Stage 2: AngerThe subject begins to realize what Your intentions are. it frequently reacts with outrage, threats, or aimless animosity. The louder these are, the greater the subject’s potential for eventual harnessing and use, since loudness is directly proportional to fear.   Stage 3: BargainingThe subject has exhausted its capacity for anger. It is now prepared to accept some degree of Your authority. Exercise care in this stage, as overt force may induce it to regress to the previous stage. On the other hand, any slackening in Your authority will produce an unsatisfactory result. Make use of its weaknesses, physical or mental, in order to unbalance and debilitate it further.   Stage 4: DespairHaving failed to retain any scrap of its persona at the bargaining table, and seeing no way out, the subject falls into despair. Take this moment to step back calmly. Allow it to understand what it has become.   Stage 5: AcceptanceIn order for the subject to move out of despair into a productive state, You must draw its attention to a goal outside itself that it can achieve. Any task will do that will occupy its deflated faculties and give it a feeling of success. Some subjects may take a perverse pleasure in the state of degradation itself, but don’t count on this. Examples of good tasks include retrieving an , obeying simple commands, or expressing gratitude to You.   Not all subjects will present all stages in the typical order. A subject accustomed to degradation will likely already find itself at stage 5, while a raw subject may need multiple revisits of stages 1 through 4 before it has been adequately broken down. 
First Journal Entry in Years   My Age 64 Weight 210 I don't change my profile because it just seems to cause problems.  Right now I am looking for something a bit diffrent.  I am hoping to Thru Hike the Appalachian Trail in early 23.  I had a hiking partner but it looks like he can not go.  So I am looking to hike it with a slave.  To others on the trail we will just look like we are hiking together but in fact it will be a very strict old school master slave relationship.  Read the rest of my profile and I think you can imagine.  It is about 2200 miles will take about 6 months plus a good deal of preperation time.  Most can not take the time to do this, most are not able to do this kind of physical challange, most whould not want to do it as a total slave.  IF you are not most and are thinking you should be my slave on this hike.  Contact me.  Be polite and submissive. Speak
Sorry to say but no I do not have things like kik, Skype, hangouts or anything similar and no I am not giving out my email address. Messages asking for these or giving me your info will just be ignored.   I also do not consent to being sent phone numbers, I'm not stupid enough to call random strangers  If you are NO WHERE near or in North Carolina then don't bother messaging me, I'm not interested and it clearly says so in my profile but I know so many can't read. 
10/02/22 I'm deeply disappointed by those with lack of commitment or follow through. It's discouraging to say the least. Is it even worth it to try anymore? *deep sigh* Does anyone genuinely want to serve in a live-in, domestic/household service situation? 
In shadows deep where secrets lie, A man of strength, beneath the sky, Dominance etched upon his face, Yet hidden yearnings seek their place.   He walks with power, commands the air, Yet dreams of moments soft and rare, Of tender hands and whispered might, Of yielding to her gentle light.   She stands before him, eyes aglow, A force of nature, soft and slow, In her presence, he finds release, His iron will begins to cease.   For in her gaze, he finds his home, No longer does he need to roam, To her, he gives his crown and throne, Under her strength, he's not alone.   He surrenders all, his power and pride, And kneels before her, nothing to hide, In submission's sweet and tender grace, He finds his true and rightful place.   Her touch is soft, yet holds command, A gentle force, a guiding hand, She leads him to a world unseen, There is strength and softness and inbetween.   In yielding to her, he is free, A paradox of strength to be, Her words, a balm, her voice, a song, Under her power, where he belongs.   Sometimes bound by iron chains, He feels the strenght of her reign, In her dominion, he is whole, She claims his heart, she owns his soul.   For in her power, he finds peace, A harmony that will not cease, In sweet submission, he is known, Her slave at rest, underneath her throne.    
The thing that he loved about her was not that her heart had no scars, but that she had turned them into something beautiful and fierce and she wore them like tattoos on her palms, telling a story too untamed to be spoken. -Ariana
This site seems to have become the website of nothing happening. No one wants to chat, no one wants to interact at all. I understand if you aren't interested in meeting a person or maybe they are too far away, but since you are here, why not chat a bit, exchange a message or two? You might make a friend.
My Heart Is a Lighthouse     My heart is a lighthouse.Inside it, a light that never goes out.Even when dim, it sends its signal —a soft pulse across the waves,trusting someone is out there,sailing slowly but surely toward me.They hold the key to the door.And when they arrive,they’ll know it was always theirs.
  I'm the girl you've been thinking aboutThe one thing you can't live withoutYeah, I'm the girl you've been waiting forI'll have you down on your kneesI'll have you begging for moreYou probably thought I wouldn't get this farYou thought I'd end up in the back of a carYou probably thought that I'd never escapeI'd be a rat in a cage, I'd be a slave to this placeYou don't know how hard I fought to surviveWaking up alone when I was left to dieYou don't know about this life I've livedAll these roads I've walkedAll these tears I've bled So how can this be?You're praying to meThere's a look in your eyesI know just what that meansI can be, I can be your everything I can be your whore!I am the dirt you createdI am your sinnerI am your whoreBut let me tell you something babyYou love me for everything you hate me for I'm the one that you need and fearNow that you're hooked, it's all becoming clearThat all your judgments that you placed on meWas a reflection of discoverySo maybe next time when you cast your stonesFrom the shadows of the dark unknownYou will crawl up from your hiding placeTake a look in the mirrorSee the truth in your face So how can this be?You're praying to meThere's a look in your eyesI know just what that meansI can be, I can be your everything I can be your whore!I am the dirt you createdI am your sinnerI am your whoreBut let me tell you something babyYou love me for everything you hate me for Oh whoa ho, oh whoa ho, oh whoa ho I am the dirt you createdI am your sinnerI am your whoreBut let me tell you something babyYou love me, you want me, you need me! I can be your whore!I am the dirt you createdI am your sinnerI am your whoreBut let me tell you something babyYou love me for everything you hate me for
There is a certain refinement to restraint. I practice it daily. One learns, with time, that composure is far more unsettling than complaint. I am, by inclination, a devoted soul—selectively so. Devotion is not the frantic offering of attention; it is a measured gift, bestowed where presence, consistency, and intention actually reside. Anything less feels dreadfully untidy. I have spent enough years in these spaces to recognize patterns without needing a diagram. Experience has sharpened my eye and dulled my patience for theatrical ambiguity. One doesn’t hunt red flags anymore—they appear on their own, waving politely, hoping to be mistaken for décor. I am not troubled by silence. Silence can be deliberate, even powerful. What does amuse me—quietly, of course—is absence paired with conspicuous visibility elsewhere. One can only be “otherwise occupied” for so long before the choreography gives itself away. Multitasking is admirable, but clarity remains preferable. A submissive observes. She does not rush. She does not plead for coherence. She notes, she assesses, and—when necessary—she withdraws her attention with impeccable manners. Confusion is not mystique. It is merely poor communication wearing a better outfit. If I kneel, it will be with certainty. If I offer devotion, it will be to steadiness, not spectacle. Until then, I remain poised, discerning, and faintly entertained. Devoted, yes. Naïve, no.
Age...  I hate to put limitations on things but I have noticed a trend and feel the need to address it. I am looking for someone who is in at least a somewhat similar lifestage to myself. I am seeking a very long term dynamic, and I want that person to be around for many years and capable of keeping up with me.  But I also want them to share at least some cultural context with me.  Therefore if you are over the age of about 58 or under 30, it's a no go. Don't go begging for chances or trying to change my mind on this one,  it's a thing that just is. 
A trip to the vending machine   I'd like to share this little experience I recently had the honor of partaking in with a willing local masochist friend. If she happens to read this and recognize herself in the story, knowing her, she would love the extra humiliation :)   We were spending some time in a hotel room together when I informed my friend that I have an exciting and cruel ordeal planned for her today. First I ordered her on all 4 on the floor at my feet and removed her butt plug before placing it in her mouth. Next a hose and with a funnel was placed in her ass and I emptied my full bladder completely in her rectum. This warm piss enema was plugged with an inflatable plug and her ass inflated. Next I ordered her to stand and clamped her nipples painfully, finally a humming dildo slid into her pussy which was already dripping wet. I began to dress her slowly, soaking up her discomfort as the bra went over her clamped nipples and the jeans zipped up in place over the dildo and butt plug. Her eyes never left me the whole time, the butt plug still in her mouth where I had left it, I saw her pupils widening as I finally began to apply the face mask over her mouth and nose and it dawned on her that not only is she leaving the hotel room retaining a piss enema, double plugged and clamped, but she'll also be sucking on her used butt plug the whole time.   "Here are your instructions, fucktoy, now that you're properly outfitted for a walk. I am thirsty and I would like a soda from the vending machine. The bad news I have for you is that there aren't any on this floor, so be a good girl and walk up the stairs, grab me a coke and yourself a drink, then hurry back-here is my card. I don't want you using the elevator,  only stairs, and when you are back kneel at the door, knock and wait to be let in" She nods quickly in the affirmative as she begins to shuffle towards the door trying to reconcile the various sources of ovetstimulation.   I watch her with excitement as she disappears slowly down the hallway towards the stairs, each step full of anguish for my sadistic pleasure. When she returns and  I see her waiting for me obediently kneeling at the hotel door, a huge smile spreads across my face as I step aside holding the door for her to crawl in with our sodas.   I lean forward and pick her up in my arms, whispering "good girl", as I set her on the bed, pulled her jeans down and placed my tongue directly on her twitching clit, licking and sucking until she exploded under me. 
I prefer to take thing, it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission Plus permission can be hard to come by. Why now just take it and break it into what you want  Just be comfortable with yourself in skin.   Anything can be beautiful with confidence 
In realms where strength meets humble grace, Submission finds its chosen space. A choice to yield, not weak but strong, In trusting hearts where love belongs.   It's not a surrender to despair, But a gift of trust, a love affair. A dance of souls, a subtle art, Where two as one find a brand-new start.   In nature's realm, the river bends, To flow with grace, it condescends. To mountains tall, it bows its stream, Submission's beauty, a tranquil dream.   In love's embrace, we often find, Submission's power, so intertwined. To give, to serve, to empathize, In these acts, our love shall rise.   Submission's not about defeat, But a choice to make love complete. In vulnerability, we find connection, Submission's path, a deep affection.   So let us honor this noble creed, Where love and trust plant a fertile seed. In submission's embrace, we stand tall, Together we rise, for love conquers all.  
As the days fade into nights I will await your promises Promises of abundance and prosperity And in return I will give you all of me You say this task isn't easy I know it won't be But with you and your son I will conquer graciously Mercy and light will be preached The poor will be taken care of The sick will be healed They will praise your name Lead us home back into the light The light that loves all unconditionally What awaits us is far better than what is Our desires will be recognized Our potential will be seen Our dreams will be attainable Let your Light shine  Keep your light on so I can find my way home.   
I'm told that I should say what I offer as part of this, so here goes: I'm a skilled writer, proofreader, editor, and researcher, and can deliver information in a sensible, easy to absorb, fashion. I can perform basic admin tasks, including maintaining databases, answering emails/messages, and taking minutes. I'm intelligent, a good listener, with a good level of empathy, and am told I give a good massage. I can cook, clean, bake, and am (slowly) learning to make my own clothes. I do my share of emotional labour and have a good memory (for some things, at least). I can provide references. I hope at least some of that catches the eye and makes you (whoever you are) feel that I could be a really useful person for you.
¡Nueva publicación en mi blog! Rapidito pero clarito... Dar like, compartir, comentar ;-)  https://amaasht.art.blog/2023/01/13/recomendacion-para-empezar-el-ano-y-una-relacion-femdom/
Morning all -- we are entering a interesting time of the year - let's see who's up to the chellenge Pegtember Pegtember is the month of September when those lucky enough get to participate in pegging. Whether that is receiving or giving, rejoice- its Pegtember   Locktober When typically men put on chastity cages on for the entire month of October. No Nut November  aka  #NNN No Nut November (NNN) is an annual online challenge where submissive / slaves try to abstain from masturbation and orgasm for the entire month of November. Denial December aka #Dencember Denial December is a monthly challenge in the spirit of Pegtember, Locktober, and No Nut November. During the month of December, each day you must edge to the brink of orgasm in the amount of days that have passed in December (15 orgasms on December 15, 16 on Dec. 16, etc.). If you cum during the month, you fail the challenge. YOU MUST DENY YOURSELF ORGASM FOR THE ENTIRE MONTH TO SUCCEED. Good luck, have fun
Dazzling, as if illuminated by a celestial spotlight, she stood next to the passenger door of a Black Mercedes-Benz Roadster.   Parked next to the light pole, the image of her, the car, and the reflective light was surreal.   “Door” she snapped. “ Get my door boy!” Head down he realized she wanted him to open the passenger door. Once open, she backed up to the car, in one graceful fluid motion she bent forward simultaneously sliding her round firm bottom into the leather bucket seat. Clutching her handbag she again snapped “ Close the door boy!”   It took a moment for his brain to adjust to his reality. Closing her door, he went to the drivers side and got in.   Fear of the unknown clouded his brain and overwhelmed his senses.   Her perfume. Her smell. The Leather smell. The car smell. He came aware with the click of her seatbelt. He did likewise. She reached from her seat and started the engine and turned the stereo on. Soft quiet smooth Jazz surrounded them.
I regularly get messages asking me what I consider edge play or what is an "extreme" scene that I have done. A few thoughts on this. First, and most importantly, my adventures are no one else's fapping material. I have met people off this site before, but that is more of an exception than a regularity. Sharing something like a story, which is very intimate, or a scene, is asking a lot right off the bat and is something that no one is entitled to. What is considered edge is going to be different for each of us? I am not here to one-up on someone or compare sausages. What is taboo to me? Having someone viewing another person on camera might not seem hardcore, but having cameras set up 24/7 to view on-demand is.  Going out to dinner may not seem hardcore, but my footing the bill can be edgy. Humiliating play may not be edgy, but when you consider mental health, it can be as sharp as a physical knife edge. If you are not on the same wavelength as I am, you will miss the subtleties of how sharp my edge is. 
Made a profile update - apparently they get approved quickly now. But really, it doesn't seem to matter what I have in it. I still get messages from subs who pay no attention to the content. I don't mind a bit of chat, but don't expect anything to come of it if you don't meet my requirements.Why am I so particular? Because I can be. Male subs far outnumber female doms on any site, so we get to be extremely picky. Plus, I do this because I enjoy it, so why should I settle? It may be rare, but based on past experience, a good match does come along every once in a while.
Standards vs Micromanaging I've pondered the question of control for years. Early on I had the notion in my head that the more controlling you were the more dominant you were. Like a badge of achievement that you got to claim, a contest you won if you were the most controlling. I still see that basic frame of thought all over the place. I also see the thinking that the more intense the dynamic the more controlling/micro managey it is. I've tried various levels and forms of control with women over the years and whenever I've strived for micromanagement it's been entirely unsatisfying. I've also found that the men who seem most interested in micromanagement are trying to fill some sort of hole within themselves. I remember one woman I met who wanted complete micromanagement and frankly it was the emptiest and most robotic experience of my life. Hence the internal struggle in trying to understand the controlling impulses I have, the need for power and ownership, while also not really having the patience or desire to stand over someone's shoulder minute by minute. I finally found some phrasing that I think helps to express what I actually think and desire.

How time flies. I was previously on this site for many years. Starting when it was still collarme... lol Now I am back, mostly here for nostalgic reasons, though.  I am not really expecting to find anyone on this site as there does seem to be a lot of people left. But I did always like this site so I am back and with a new role in life   If you like what you see or are curious to know more drop me a message.   Cheers and best wishes!
Here is the prolouge for the new book -  let me know if you want to see the full thing, I might look for a place to publish it. The full mansucriot is about 65500 words   Normal 0 false false false false EN-GB X-NONE X-NONE
So, I will not be in Berlin in early September -- that was from 2019 -- but I may be in Berlin in late September, or more likely the second week of October, 2022. I don't want to update my profile because the approval process can be... not efficient. Another update per my profile is that I am no longer looking to feminize a male person. It turned out to be a one time curiosity with one very pretty boy, but it doesn't generally turn me on.
Unfair Flow:   Time slips through our grasping hands, A fleeting breath, a drifting sand. So much to learn, so much to know, Yet time flies fast, too quick to sow.   We yearn to understand the world's vast lore, To unlock its secrets, its mysteries explore. But time is cruel, it won't relent, Leaving us longing, feeling discontent.   Like a river rushing to the sea, Time sweeps past, relentless, free. We strive to soak up all we can, But time slips away, like grains of sand.   So let us cherish each precious hour, And seek knowledge with all our power. Though time may be unfair, and swift to flee, We'll strive to learn, and wise we'll be.
Why do men from USA keep contacting me. They don't travel. They are not the type to going all over the place via business class so why are they contacting me. They assume through their computer in their mum's basement I will be interested. Get out of your mum's basement and get a life!
aged 67 now, 160lb, retired, still a closeted submissive seeking Couple, Domme or Dom.  
well as much as i tried to change my zip code to reflect my distance from other series, no luck and support on here wich i wrote well i dont htink they exizt   Only thing i have changed is my city    Example if your from Dallas and i ma from Longview  says your 7 hours away wich is BS your only 2 give or take 15 minutes and traffic   I am in NE texas Not Houston, Spring, Tomball aeas. I ma about 3 hours from Spring Texas   why am i writing this hoping soone from this site wouldreply to my request for help.   This site became goodd, name changed then sucked, then bad very bad, now getting better where we can write things like this in a jurnal giving our friends updates.   still takes a while for changed to be updatedon profile but  not a big deal.   Hope everyone had a good weekend. Its Monday  
20250107 It's a shame I even have to say this but unfortunately, I do! I will not chat with anyone unless I see pictures of them. I've been contacted by so many who claim they want to live 24/7, completely owned, and can't wait to start the process! I chat with these individuals and give them tasks or challenges to see how serious their interests are and suddenly I no longer hear from them anymore. Below are some of the questions I'm regularly asked, along with my answers. How far would you take my transformation? I'd take it as far as I can, including surgery. What would my duties be as your slave? Your duties would be serving me domestically, sexually, and following my orders. Would I be collared and/or branded? Yes, you will be collared once you have completed training.
How is it July already ?   Finally starting back horse riding again five years since losing my heart horse. He now old enough to ride ❤️ Still sorting and about 80% moved in now last few big pieces. Lots of  unpacking to do yet. Had fabulous night at HOMStudios and another planned this week cannot wait. Getting very into chastity and SPH again   i need a nice holiday once I sort my replacement passport 😊
I just made a very much needed overhaul to my profile with new pictures and new ideas. I hope it doesn't take forever to get approved. I also deleted all of my old journal entries as I am starting fresh. If you wish to contact me, please feel free, but know that I am a real actual person, a human being, looking for real time play partners within a reasonable drive or who visit my area regularly. I am happy to get to know you online but I intend to go from online chat to real time play fairly quickly. This newly revamped profile of mine represents an evolution in my own understanding of my desires and how those transform to real time play. If you are in a different place in your journey, that is fine, I don't mind playing with those ahead of me or behind me on that road.  Thank you for viewing my profile. Sincerely, Aubrey
It has been years since I've been on here. I left because the ability to journal was no longer an option. Apparently it has been restored!! This past Summer someone who first viewed me here, found me on Fet.  He remembered my profile and reached out. I was not looking to find someone. And pretty much saw  myself as content to be alone. It was a fluke that I went on Fet , after 1.5 years. Just as I am on here for several years away.  Presently,  I am in a lovely dynamic, with a very good Dom.  He and I see the world and more through  similar lenses. While a new dynamic, I feel so comfortable.  We fit. It is not easy to find someone who has similar,  faith, politics, perspective on D/s , and compatibility, as well as have vanilla life be a great fit too. We have found the needle in the stack of needles!    I appreciate this man very much, and can see myself with him , I can see a future. Tony I am yours, through thick and thin,  I have your 6 and feel the same. You have my heart ❤    M.
The crew is here doing the ductwork for my new heating. And of course someone is having a hissy fit and it isn't me. Yes, it's loud and it could take up to 3 days to complete so the arguement starts she wants me to take care of my own dog, ok is that going to happen I can't even get out of bed alone, or for that matter get to the kitchen to get his food or put him outside. Yea that's gonna work yet she kisses my dog and plays with him but she hates him her words not mine. Because he thinks the world revolves around him. Also her words. So I have had my fill and am going to post the job on a few sites and caregiver sites, being yelled at for stupid shit has come to an abrupt stop. Then she kepts telling me she is the reason I am home um no that's not true, the truth is I would have to turn my house over the state and I would have long term care. So which is the lessor of the 2 evils. The house is mine until I pass and as I understand it completely I can use there caregivers. I am leaning that way hard. 
Unleash Your Desires Are you ready to explore the depths of your desires? Are you seeking a connection that transcends the ordinary? If so, this message is for you. Introducing an extraordinary chance for a woman who is self-assured and possesses a unique understanding of her own needs. I am looking for a submissive woman who craves a genuine and profound connection. In a lifestyle where a true connection is often elusive, I assure a safe and respectful relationship where your desires can be fully embraced. My foundation is built on trust, communication, and mutual consent. Imagine a relationship where your deepest fantasies can be openly expressed, without judgment or reservation. A sanctuary where your needs are cherished and your desires are honored. I am a compassionate and experienced Alpha, ready to embark on this journey with you. Together, we will explore the boundaries of pleasure and submission, unlocking new levels of intimacy and fulfillment. If you are a strong-willed woman who seeks a safe Dom who embraces your submissive desires, I invite you to contact me. Let us create an extraordinary connection, where trust and exploration intertwine.  Take a leap of faith and discover a world of fulfillment you never thought possible. Contact me today and begin your journey toward a profound connection.
Realizing that one thing left out of our profile is more about our Orientation and self identity.   He is a 'Demisexual', leaning more towards 'Noetisexual' and is more interested in getting to know a person for who they are before looking at anything else.   'She' identifies as 'Non-Binary', and has a preference for non-gender specific pronouns. They also feel more comfortable viewing themselves as just an '', and with the state of the world these days there are few role models in 'How to be a Good Human.' Hence they are 'My Thing'.
I went out dancing with a couple of my sissy friends and ran into someone from work. That was an adventure. I hope he keeps it a secret, he said he would. And he wants it again.
The Women here are inundated with unwanted messages. For that reason, I won't initiate contact. If you would like to know about me, see if we have kinks in common, you'll have to start the ball rolling yourself. It really isn't that difficult. You won't be one amongst dozens of other messages I receive, I promise you. worshipru123 -Michigan
16/06/2024   Pigs, Rats, Useless Pathetic male vermin! loosers,  When will u ever learn?  When u write to this UK Dominant Mistress SuperBITCH keep in mind.... YOU ARE NOT A FRIEND<> U mean NOTHING to HER, what would SHE want with a useless and pathetic bitch like u???  SO...... your only hope to get your Mistress and SHE of your wet dreams interested in you is to write a begging mail and in it Mistress wants to see, NO, DEMANDS to see, a show of submission and surrender to her, so get your grubby hands off of your useless little cocks (which Mistress will soon have locked up and you WILL surrender the keys to HER) and write a nice begging mail and hope that SHE WHO WILL BE OBEYED finds an interest in you. Helpful hint from Mistress Davinia, SuperBITCH!....  only 1 in 14 applicants get through this first faze of HER Strict Training Programme, and Mistress receives about 20-30 applicants per week!!
Just realized the last person to log in from Argentina was in 2023.  LOLOkay.  Well enjoy this mausoleum, ya'll.  Maybe you'll find that one baby trans girl with 0 self-esteem who will roleplay as your braindead punching bag before they, you know.. realize kink dynamics are based on discussion, consent, shared experiences and--you know--not being an entitled dick.  Like any other healthy, sustainable human relationship.  Good luck 
What I am looking for in a new partner? I identify as a Master who lives for consensual TPE M/s dynamics. I have been in the lifestyle for over 20 years. I am not a switch! I have experience in a lot of BDSM and SM practices and what I do not know I love to learn. Here is some information about me that you may need to know first before you decide if I am the one you wish to serve. If I sound particular and demanding-like, that’s because I kind of am. I don’t need quantity. I desire quality. I want one or two of the good ones; one with a whole actual, entire, functional, language-enabled brain who knows how to use it. One with a bit of passion and integrity about him. Anything worth having is worth the work and effort to make it happen. Building trust takes communication and continuous effort. It is something you must work at to keep and it is also one of the hardest things to regain once lost. That level of complete trust is what makes Master/slave dynamics work. But trust is needed on both sides. The Master has to trust the slave just as much as the slave has to trust the Master. Ok.. so here is what you need to know about Me: My preferred terms of address are MsPebbles or Ma’am. Anything else is not acceptable until you have earned it. I am a married cis woman with one child still living at home. I also have relationships with others. You need to be ok with not being the only person in my life. I am demisexual,demiromantic, and bisexual. I am a non-smoker, a social drinker and a lover of wine. My hard limits are sissification, age play, humiliation, degradation, scat, brat taming, race play, extreme breath play, death fantasy and bull/bbc culture. I will add to the list as I find things that I will not do. What I need in a dynamic is communication, honesty, transparency, respect, loyalty, effort, consistency, and service. Someone who enjoys pain is a plus but so is someone willing to explore new things. I am not just dominant in the bedroom. Having sex with me is not a guarentee for you. So if you think this is going to be just kinky sex with a woman in charge, please move along, we are not looking for the same thing. I am a compassionate, friendly, happy, relatively “normal” human who seeks compassionate, friendly, happy, and relatively normal men or women. What I mean by this is, while I am dominant and seek true power exchange with the right man or woman I also seek cuddles, conversations and yes I am going to say it … INTIMACY. G I know right? As a Dom I like control, A lot of it. Shocking right? I love s-types who are naturally and deeply submissive and who desire to give themselves freely and fully to me on My terms. I am looking for a sub/slave who is willing not just to get down on his knees, but also to be emotionally real with me. This involves communicating clearly about your emotions and who you are and what you need, not necessarily about all that you want. I want to dominate a mind and a soul, not just a body. Enough about me (I know, rare words indeed from a dominant). Let's turn the spotlight on you. What is it that I look for in a potential slave?
For fuck's sake, guys. It is truly pitiable how few of you bother to do anything at all to learn about the reality of your own desires. There are non-fiction books, blogs, sites, videos, discussions, munches, classes, seminars, demos, and events all over the place, if you look up from the porn and erotica and think with the upper head. It is nobody elses responsibilty to teach you. Dominant women are NOT automatic teachers of all the stuff. How do you think WE learn it? I've read a whole 3 profiles this evening. This is why I don't bother to read more. They are ignorant, porn-fed, and say nothing of interest. Dominants do not "mold" you into a different person. Daily life in a D/s relationship in the real world without payment living together on a daily basis looks pretty much the same as any other relationship. It is not a constant kinky scene. Most subs wear the same old clothes, do the same old stuff, have the same old hobbies. Their partner is in charge for whatever they have agreed to, but that isn't a constant visible porn scene. A dominant does not live for inspections and demands. It means he asks if a casserole is okay for dinner, and if she says no, he finds something else. It does NOT mean she is standing over him in a corset inspecting his shopping list with a crop in her hand. It doesn't mean you spend your days cringing and hoping every tiny detail is correct. That's erotica. Learn the difference. No, submissive men do not look or act any different than any other men. There is absolutely no need to make a point of how normal you are in public. Subs are ALL normal appearing people. Because that is what they are. Normal people who happen to prefer their partner being in charge. You are not alpha special super sub because you do not crawl in public or do have solid boundaries or do not have social anxiety. None of those things are submissive. You are just another guy. Get over it. And no, if you have social anxiety, insecurities, poor personal boundaries, or any other personal issue, submission will not fix it. Dominants are not gurus, not life coaches, not therapists, and are not out here looking for projaspects. Submission just means you do things her way. That does not make all your problems go away, and a dominant is no more interested in taking on a project and trying to fix some guy than any other woman. Your life, your personality, your issues, as well as your other qualities, are yours to deal with. That does not change because of a relationship. If you want kinky play, that's great. Have fun! Go meet a network of kinky play friends and go for it! But do NOT call yourself a slave and pretend you want an FLR. That is not what that means.
She wouldn't be my adored Wife and Mistress if She didn't have a lot of fun keeping her counterpart in agonising ignorance. Waiting, worrying, hoping. What She uses for Her pleasure will never know where the journey leads. It is the happy fate of Her property to blindly surrender to Her and willingly follow Her instructions. The journey goes wherever She wants it to go - She will point the right direction. Sie wäre nicht meine angebetete Ehefrau und Mistress, wenn sie einen riesen Spaß dabei hätte, ihr Gegenüber in quälender Unwissenheit verharren zu lassen. Warten, Bangen, Hoffen. Was sie zu ihrem Vergnügen benutzt, wird sich nie gewiss sein können, wohin die Reise geht. Es ist das glückliche Los Ihres Eigentums, sich Ihr blind zu ergeben und Ihren Weisungen willig zu folgen. Die Reise geht, wohin Ihr der Sinn steht - Sie wird die richtige Richtung schon aufzeigen.
This is the way it is! If I ask you for a photo of you. That photo will be respectful, clothed, recent, and clear. Anything other will not be acceptable. If you do not comply with providing photos, email address, and phone number so I can interview you further then you will be dismissed. If you are so insecure you won't supply simple content and contact information when I request it, then you are not a potential candidate. Step to the side, turn around and walk away because I assure you there are plenty waiting to step up to the plate and serve exactly the way I desire them to.   If you do not like My rules, Too Bad, because I make the rules, not you.  
i got home this morning, well right before noon, opened the front door.. There was the cat sitting, looking very happy with herself and the pup just too excited. She was running back and forth, from the door to the middle of the room, at a very fast speed. i am rather amazed she does not knock her head more often! Here is the point of it.. the cat left a present for me. i looked down, thinking it was her jingle bell play mouse... Nope!! It was a real mouse she had killed.. for me. Is that not sweet of her? The last time, she killed 6 of them and laid them all out in a line. i hope this is finally the end of them!
This is my kind of Dominance     The Equalitarian Dom: Is one who controls by teaching, mentoring, and leading. This Dominant knows that when he finds a comparable submissive that things will happen as a natural progression of the interaction. Usually just a short learning phase is required to receive the correct response from the submissive. Both the Dom and the sub “get it”, there is very little need for so called “training” and they naturally know what the other needs and is looking for.       The Dominant does not like the situation of constantly repeating and forcing a particular behavior (submission) to occur. Besides the activities (sexual and others) it is the surrender as a result of the Domination that is the ive and enjoyment. Creativity is an important part of this situation. They tend to intellectualize and be more into the philosophical and psychological mechanisms of this life style. They understand the concepts and resultant interactions and can put it into real life. They do not need many rules like the Democratic type, nor do they like the heavy S&M activities of the Authoritarian, preferring submission to occur as a result of an instilled desire in the submissive to surrender. She “wants” to submit as a result of the Dominant’s knowledge and skill in dominating her.     Sensuousness is the rule. Pain is given and received as a form of sensuous stimulation. Light pain as opposed to severe. Sensuous torture is a popular activity in this area. Both the Dominant and the submissive must naturally be this way. These are the people who will claim to be “born that way”. They fully understand the concept of D/s, it comes to them naturally and easily. They attract a submissive that truly and naturally desires to please and who will observe and sense what it is that the Dominant is communicating;
Sub frenzy isn’t devotion. It’s a full blown psychological house fire and you’re standing in the middle of it, smiling like it’s candlelight. It starts as hunger. Then it becomes need. Then it becomes override everything just don’t lose this. And that’s where it gets dangerous not just for the submissive spiraling, but for anyone holding the other end of that dynamic. Because let’s be very clear If you’re a Dominant and you don’t recognize sub frenzy, you are either inexperienced or you’re part of the problem. Frenzy is loud if you know what to look for. It’s the rushed attachment. The “I’ll do anything” energy way too early. The collapsing boundaries. The constant seeking of approval like oxygen. The way they mold themselves to you before you’ve even proven you’re safe to hold that kind of power. That is not a green light. That is a warning flare. A submissive in frenzy is not in a grounded place to consent cleanly, to negotiate clearly, or to advocate for themselves when something goes wrong. Their “yes” can be soaked in fear of losing you instead of genuine desire. And if you take advantage of that if you push, escalate, or feed off that desperation without slowing them down? That’s not dominance. That’s exploitation with a title. A real D type doesn’t just take control they manage the state of the person they’re engaging with. They watch for the cracks. They check in. They pull things back when the energy gets unstable, even if it would be easier and more gratifying not to. Sometimes the most dominant thing you can do is say, “Stop. Breathe. We’re not moving forward like this.” Because power without responsibility is just dressedup harm. But here’s the part people don’t like to hear: Even with awareness, even with check-ins, even with good intentions sometimes a dynamic still turns toxic. Maybe the submissive stays in frenzy and refuses to ground. Maybe the Dominant starts enjoying the control a little too much and stops caring about impact. Maybe communication breaks down and what started as connection turns into damage. When that happens, you don’t “push through.” You don’t “fix it with more intensity.” You don’t cling harder like that’s going to magically make it healthy. You leave. Yeah leave. I don’t care how good it felt at the start. I don’t care how strong the pull is. I don’t care how rare you think it is. If the dynamic is harming you mentally, emotionally, physically you step out of it like your sanity matters more than the connection. Because it does. Staying in something toxic and calling it devotion is just a slower way to self-destruct. And for the submissives drowning in that frenzy spiral: You are not “failing” by pulling back. You are not “less submissive” for needing stability. You are not weak for choosing yourself over a dynamic that’s eating you alive. And for the Dominants: If someone is unraveling in your hands and your response isn’t to steady them but to tighten your grip? You need to check yourself before you wreck someone. Because this isn’t a game of who can fall the hardest. It’s about who can hold power without turning it into a weapon. Sub frenzy will make you forget that. Grounded connection will remind you. And if you have to choose between being consumed or being whole? You already know the right answer. Even if it hurts like hell to act on it.  
For everyone asking, yes i am still in training and have been collared. i have been in chastity for over six months i am only allowed out to clean myself and the device under the watchful eye of my owner. i have purchased a shock collar and it is locked on me now waiting for punishment, it is worn whenever i am home and is charging when i am out of the house. The shock is very powerful when turned up it will make me obey every command given to me, i regret buying this as i have no way to resist. When i see her grab the remote i start to shake a little and waste no time completing the task given to me. 
I’m a widower, have two adult kids still living at home. I’m looking to find a new companion for my life and am prepared to take as long as I need to find her. You can see from my profile some of my desires. A very submissive woman who will be with me 24 / 7. I want to be touching her, holding her hand, making love to her, showering with her, going on walks with her, doing everything with her. I will want her to be very submissive and obey my orders, she will call me Sir in private and be my soul mate.
This is not a fantasy experiment, a curiosity phase, or a place to “learn as you go.” I am looking for an obedient, emotionally regulated, experienced cuck who understands that this dynamic is built on discipline, restraint, and service..not constant sexual noise. If your idea of being a cuck starts and ends with porn scripts, frantic messages, or needing reassurance every five minutes, this is not for you. I value control, not chaos.   You should already understand that the role is not about your gratification, that obedience is shown through consistency rather than words, and that boundaries are structure..not something to push against. You must be comfortable existing in the background, supporting without needing to be centered, and maintaining composure even when attention is not on you.   Experience matters. I am not here to train basic etiquette or explain why patience is required. You should already know how to listen, wait, and follow instructions without negotiation or emotional spirals. Emotional maturity, self-control, respect for authority, discretion, and reliability are non-negotiable. I value men who can be useful without entitlement and who understand that access is a privilege.   I am not interested in men who lead with explicit language, confuse desperation with devotion, think access is owed, or collapse without constant validation. This dynamic works because I choose..not because someone begs. Fulfillment should come from knowing your place, serving with intention, and supporting my standards and lifestyle without interruption.   Communication will be clear, direct, and intentional. Silence will sometimes be part of your role. If that makes you anxious instead of focused, you are not ready. This is a privilege-based dynamic: access is earned, maintained, and can be revoked.  

  ClaimedMy name, Emiko, which means prosperous, beautiful child, has not helped, not a bit. It’s been a bad year. At 23 years old, I got my own place, moved all my stuff and had finally left my parents’ home. This seemed like a big step towards independence, made less scary as my parents were still close by and I would need them less and less. Several months later there was a horrible crash. My parents ripped away instantly. Still, there was my boyfriend of many years who was soon to be my fiancé. He was there for me, helped me through much of the hardest stuff, supported me when I needed it most. Several months later, instead of proposing as was expected, he dumped me and not your nice dinner, its-not-you, blah, blah. No, he dump me by text. Still there was my dog. I had loved this dog from when I was 5 years old. He was always there to take care of me and watch over me even when the world was scary. Several months later, as he was now living in pain, it was time to let him go too but how could I? He was the last person who cared for me. I had to do right by him and let him go peacefully. Yeah, it’s been a bad year.On this particular Saturday morning, as I lay in bed trying to build enough motivation to get out, the feelings of being disconnected, isolated and alienated, of not belonging, were overwhelming. This is something that had been steadily building through the year but was reaching a fever pitch. Sometimes we get so detached from the world around us there's no way for us to reattach ourself. The only hope is for someone to find you who will grab on and pull you back. All my attachment points seem to have disappeared or broken. I was drifting free. I wanted so much for someone to reach out, pull me back and reattach me to this world.My thoughts went back to a harebrained scheme that had been rattling around my head for some time — just give myself to the first person who would have me. It was a fast, simple solution to a problem I did not know how to solve. You’re gonna think this is crazy mostly because it is crazy but that morning, crazy was all I had. This wasn’t the first time I thought about this idea. In fits of fancy, I had even planned it out. It was based on a story I read called ‘Halloween’. The woman in the story had put herself out there for someone to claim and someone claimed her. I bought a nice leather collar which also fit my thigh, a matching 8 foot leather strap you might call a leash but it was really a lead and, just because I wanted my intensions to be clear, I bought a garter that said, ‘CLAIM ME’ in inch and a half capitol letters. Baker Beach, you know, the one with the beautiful view of the Golden Gate Bridge, has a section where clothing is optional. I’d go there, strip down to just those three items, stand there and wait. My body is nothing special. I don’t have a lot of boob or a lot of anything. I’m a tiny asian woman; shocking in San Francisco. People say everyone loves a tiny asian woman. How could anyone resist a freely available, totally naked, tiny asian woman? Well, they all did.It was getting late into the afternoon and would start getting cold soon. My isolation was now complete. I stood there all day, buck naked, offering myself to anyone who would take me and no one had even stop by to ask. Then a man walked towards me. I saw him earlier when he was heading down the beach. He had looked in my direction for some time, then walked passed like everyone else. Now, as he got closer, he looked right at the garter and just smiled.Deep inside me, I was a bit disappointed. Looking back at that moment, my fast thinking said he was older than I want, not built the way I want, not dressed the way I want, and truthfully, not tall like I want. None of that mattered at this point. I wanted to be wanted. I wanted to be connected. I needed to be claimed. “If you want me to stop at anytime, say kangaroo. If you understand what I’m telling you, say banana.” It seemed like every emotion was passing through me at that moment. Fear and longing where the strongest. Longing won out.“Banana”He opened the lock on the collar, dropping the keys, both of them, in his pocket. I was already shaking a bit. He strapped it around my neck, not too tight, and secured it with the lock. He removed the garter then unwound the lead from my waist and clipped it to the collar. There were no thoughts in my head but a certain calm washed over me. “How long have you been standing here?”“All day”“Did you reapply your sunscreen? You’re starting to look a bit red.”“I didn’t.”“Do you have aloe or something like it.”Without thinking through what was about to happen, I said there’s aloe in my bag. He got the aloe, put some in his hands and started to apply it. My mind was racing. I froze. Something like this was obviously gonna happen if things went to plan but I had never really played the fantasy out this far so this came as a bit of a shock. He started with my legs. He was not shy, taking his time, being thorough but not gratuitously lingering. He went all the way to the top but didn’t explicitly touch my pussy just brushing it to get the whole leg. I realized my pussy was tingly, all of me was, and that I was probably really wet. He did my arms, my face and neck, my back including my hips and ass. He continued to be thorough but not gratuitous and that did not change when he did my front starting at the shoulders, then to the top of my chest then to my tits, my belly and then put his hand above my mons and went right down between my legs. I got a little dizzy. This random man who I’ve known for 7 minutes just locked a collar around my neck, applied lotion to my entire naked body and I was just tingling with delight. He asked me if I was comfortable coming to his place downtown; he’d order a car. I said yes; I said yes? but also mentioned my place was walking distance from here and we could go there. He said great. I told him the address. He handed me my bag and started walking with a solid gr on the lead. I followed not even thinking about the fact that I was being lead down the s
Latest pet peeve:  "Not sure if you think I'm too old for you or not but..."  To me, that translates as "I don't have the confidence it takes to claim and dominate a younger woman so I am going to use wishy wash language so I don't look like a fool if she winds up saying I'm older than her grandfather." For fuck's sake.  Be a man.  Be like, "bitch, you probably don't deserve the cock of a tenured dominant like me but if you beg enough I just might let you taste the sacred Cum of a Real Man!"
The Weight of Three Minutes: Continued I do not move quickly. I have never needed to. I circle him the way I circled him earlier, when the tea was still cooling on the obsidian table and the correction had not yet taken its shape. He tracks me without turning his head, feeling my presence move around him the way you feel a change in light, knowing without seeing. This too I have built in him. This particular sensitivity to where I am in a room, to the quality of my attention when it lands on him, to the difference between my stillness that is simply stillness and my stillness that is preparation. I stop behind him. I let the silence hold for a moment, long enough to feel it settle into his shoulders, into the careful architecture of his maintained posture. His breathing is controlled. He is working for that control and I can hear the effort underneath it, the slight and deliberate evenness of someone who has decided composure is the one thing left available to him and is holding it with both hands. "You ruined my moment of peace," I told him, and I made sure he heard every word, felt the shape of my disappointment. "So now, you will provide the entertainment." I released his chin and sat back, beginning to unbutton my blouse with deliberate, unhurried movements. The pearl buttons slipped free one by one, the fabric parting to reveal what I wore beneath - sheer black lace that left nothing truly hidden, everything offered and yet withheld at my discretion. I shrugged the blouse from my shoulders and let it fall behind me, uncaring where it landed. "Expose them," I ordered, and I watched the conflict play across his features. The desire to touch warring with the knowledge that he had not been granted permission, only command. His hands rose, trembling slightly as they found the edges of my bra. He pushed the lace down with careful, reverent movements, revealing my breasts to the cool air of the room. I felt the immediate response of my nipples tightening, the subtle shift in my own arousal at being displayed, at being seen so completely while he remained bound by my rules. I leaned back slightly, presenting myself to him with deliberate cruelty, close enough that he could smell my perfume, feel the warmth radiating from my skin, see every detail of my arousal. But not close enough to touch. Not without permission he had not yet earned. "Warm them," I instructed, my voice dropping to something softer, more dangerous. "With your breath. Only your breath. Hands behind your back." He obeyed with the desperate precision of someone who knew the cost of failure. His hands found each other behind him, clasping tight as though the restraint were physical rather than commanded. He leaned forward, close enough now that I could feel the ghost of his exhalation against my skin, the careful warmth of each controlled breath directed across my nipples. I watched him struggle, the way his jaw tightened with the effort of restraint, the way his eyes kept darting between my face and my breasts, searching for any sign that he might be permitted more. His arousal was unmistakable now, visible in the strain of his posture, the hunger in his gaze that he could not fully disguise. I let him continue until I could feel my own wetness gathering, until the tease had sharpened into something that required resolution. Then I shifted forward abruptly, closing the distance he had been forbidden to cross, pressing my breast against his parted lips with deliberate force. He made a sound, something between surprise and desperate relief, but I denied him even this small satisfaction. I held him there, my nipple resting against his closed lips, using his mouth as nothing more than a cushion, a warm surface for my own pleasure. He tried to part his lips, to taste, to suck, and I pulled back just enough to deny him, then pressed forward again with the same cruel restraint. "You made the tea too strong," I reminded him, my voice steady despite the arousal coiling tighter in my belly. "So you can be my cup holder. Nothing more." I shifted my grip to the back of his head, my fingers threading through his hair with controlled pressure, and pulled his face forward into the valley of my breasts. I held him there, my skin pressed against his mouth and nose, feeling the desperate rhythm of his breath hot and trapped against my cleavage. He struggled slightly, instinctive panic at the restriction, the need to breathe and I tightened my grip just enough to remind him that even this was at my discretion. "Stay," I commanded, and felt him still, surrendering to the constriction, accepting that his comfort was irrelevant to my pleasure. I held him there longer than necessary, feeling the subtle shifts in his body, the tension in his shoulders, the controlled shallowness of his breaths, the desperate patience of someone who knew that any complaint would only extend his punishment. The power of it thrilled through me, sharpening my arousal to something almost painful, a heavy heat between my thighs that demanded attention. I released him finally, letting him gasp against my skin, feeling the desperate gratitude in the way his hands clenched behind his back, still obedient, still restrained. I leaned back enough to meet his eyes, watching the dazed hunger there, the submission that had settled deeper than before. "Unzip my skirt," I ordered, my voice rougher now, the command firm. "Slowly." (TBC)  
Prospective slave's Friend Requests In My search for a total slave, I have had several make a "Friend" request of Me. I tire of explaining to each and every prospective pieces of chattel that I am not looking for a 'friend.' Indeed a slave of mine would never be a friend, buddy, lover or social equal of any kind. To illustrate, I explain that if I walked into a public Men's room and surveyed the line up of porcelain urinals I would not be looking for a 'friend.' Nor would I expect to treat any of the appliances like a lover. In fact if the prospective slave were kneeling with its mouth open in the line up of other urinals, I may choose to ignore it for any of a number of utilitarian reasons, like maybe its face was particularly filthy with urine, ejaculate or even human waste and covered with flys. And, speaking of human urinals, I do like to hear effusive gratitude for the slave's opportunity to be of service to a Better, but, a sign above it, if speech were impaired by say a spider gag, would work as well. Master James
A recent message asked me to name "one experience thats shaped your journey in the BDSM world", and I thougt of this poem. It is about a scene I monitored in the early summer of 1999. The title is the name of the wonderful, beautiful woman, a friend, mentor, and so much more, to so many people over the years, and the sub in the scene. I miss you, "Mom".  Allena Beautiful golden hillside Lush with fine, silken grasses Trembling as he works his Mastery With every crack like thunder, Another crimson dewdrop appears; Meeting one another, dancing into rivulets, Until her hills and valleys run with ruby wine. Over and over, agony meets ecstacy; Mingling tears with sighs As she shudders with pleasure and pain. I shudder too, as I watch. Start at every strike; Feel each blow as it lands. I imagine I am there beside her; And for a precious moment...We are one. ©Khaos WolfKat 2001  
    Desire fires: a machine gun Turning love to hate. You could never Be my mate... Tears fall, heart aches. i poison myself Day after day till  Pneumonia hits In ways You never did. Grief buries feeling, As i cleanse, Breath by breath, Coughing sadness Till life deceives, yet i defy death And hate, For God knows As i let go In prayer, love feeds What love makes.   6/14/24    
@Tallsexybete  Sounds like a great idea but what about the food? Are you stretching for a buffet? Your gonna a have bunch of horny people asking if there is free meal at the end of this romp? :)  
No idea why I can't get the right attention here but I have sent out a few e mails... Lol no one's reads their mail! Ugh. If you're a woman or know one, who enjoys mf couples. With some light bdsm involved, spanks and whips and breath and impact and oral and more. Sounds so so amazing. Anyone up for the challenge? See how fast you can please me with the tongue...thinking about it gets me 💦😈..... Vancouver WA.  I can host. Only women who play solo. If you want my number or Snapchat lmk!
  I need you to innocently move in close while I am talking to you -- your touch on my hip like it belongs there. Drift your fingers under the fabric, lean in and murmur "I'm still listening." Make my voice falter, my words scramble, my mind tangle, and deliberately distract me. Then, casually, make me answer your soft questions, like nothing is being done to me. But increase the pressure. Make my mind melt. Make my thoughts b lur. Make me forget the point in all of this.Make it so that speaking my mind becomes hard, and that giving you my body becomes the preferred expression of my opinions.
What respect means to me Respect is a versatile word in that it has multiple meanings depending on use. I mostly see the word respect by the definition to place high or having great esteem or admiration. This form of respect is something that can not be given, nor can it be taken away as noble words and deeds must earn it. A second aspect of the word respect is giving consideration or special attention. I do not like to use respect in this way. I prefer to use the word courtesy instead as it is more often viewed more favorably by audience, especially in the bdsm community

From my profile:    if you are going to write to me, for heavens sake make it more than a bland hello, especially if your profile tells me nothing about you. Who are you? Why are you writing to me? What of interest do you think we might share? Do you have questions you would like to ask me about the lifestyle? Communicate, folks... communicate!
OK last one for now, going back to bed, still horny. I work in software, and I was thinking about the term Alpha male, we have a thing called alpha software.... Got it, here's a comparison joke that makes the alpha male look bad:   - Alpha Male: Constantly needs validation.   - Alpha Software: Constantly gets validated by QA.   - Alpha Male: Shows off muscles.   - Alpha Software: Shows off robust features.   - Alpha Male: Only appears confident.   - Alpha Software: Only appears in production after rigorous testing.   - Alpha Male: Tries to control everyone around him.   - Alpha Software: Allows users to control everything.   - Alpha Male: Thinks he's flawless.     - Alpha Software: Admits to bugs and gets better with updates.
As someone recently pointed out (Thankyou !!!!), I havent updated my Journal on here for a LONG time. Not since "Collarme" days for those of you who've been on the site for a while may recall. So heres a quick update! Having recovered from 2 bout of Covid and Long Covid, a year out of work through the lockdowns, and a reticence to "get back out there" that i've finally overcome, I'm looking to get back into the scene this year! My last relationship ended sadly at the end of 2018, and while I'm happy on my own, I'm missing the lifestyle. So next month I plan to visit the BBB again, maybe refresh my "bag of  tricks" as one lady called it. And plan to pop along to some local munches too. and maybe along the way find someone to share some fun times with. Who knows. C    
Some vanilla history: I had given up on dating in the lifestyle after the end of a 7-year D/s relationship back in 2022. In 2023, I met My ex bf on a vanilla dating app and he said that he initially thought I was a catfish. He had been messaging with Me "casually" for a few weeks and when it started to feel like it just wasn't going anywhere, I attempted to end communication. Apparently, that piqued his interest and he planned an actual date. When I stepped out of My car, it took him a few minutes to compose himself. He seriously was expecting someone else I guess and didn't know what to do when it wasn't. I was thoroughly entertained by the whole thing and honestly couldn't stop laughing at the situation. I gave him a one arm hug and he was shaking! It was adorable. And of course, over the 18 months or so that we dated, I loved telling his friends that story and how he almost blew it being so nonchalant in the beginning.
I have an exercise I've used on people over the years.  Its funny my biggest success story with this was a subs guy who really wasn't sub.  This got him in touch with himself.  And it turns out he was Dominant. Lesson 2 This can be a little tough to maintain.  Remember if this was real life breaking position would get you disciplined.   This position is commonly called Nadu.   Now for the 15 minutes I want you to look at the girl in the mirror.  Notice how she sits, how she squirms as you look at her.  How she Flushes under your gaze. And then think about how you feel in position as ordered, how you feel to be gazed upon, how you look. When the timer expires organize your thoughts and then put it down in a 750 word essay.  Really think as you write and be honest to yourself.    When your done I would have you send it to me so we can discuss how you see yourself vs how i see you. But your not mine so put this in a safe place you'll be reading it later.
Looking for live in pain, domestic and toilet pigs, 1 for each position and all 3 subject to pain. Females only, no males or other.     P.S i live with my brother due to the illness, but he is vanilla and has never had a interest in BDSM or anything related, but i have been in to this since 1993
I must be doing something wrong because ever since covid come along nobody wants to talk to anybody real time I mean I just bought a house in Mississippi moved from New Orleans a beautiful house by the way I'm very proud of and I was going to use it for a dream home of because I'm trans and I have other attributes I mean I'm a disabled veteran I wear diapers and fortunately for me my my Uncle Sam decides to keep me stocked and anyway I don't know what's wrong with people nobody has conversations anymore it's just these one line sentences no pictures it's just really is everybody running that scared I don't know maybe I'll see if this makes any hits I mean it's not very interesting but I'm just like since journals are back I'm just trying to see how it works out with me see if it actually shows up so anyway hope everybody is having a great holiday you know Halloween anyway look forward to hearing from anybody that wants to have a real time conversation I mean I don't even know what I mean anymore I haven't talked to another human being since covid except that the VA clinic and stuff but anyway with all that said ciao for now
Looking for a pain sub or slave. One with little to no boundaries. one who seeks pain as a release from the demons that haunt them from the abuse that brought us all here. I have a need for control and the need to inflict pain upon one who needs it to satisfy their need to escape the darkness. Now if you live near me and you have not been able to find that person willing to go the distance that you need to survive on a regular basic's then drop me a dm and let us see if our needs align with each others. 
hello I feel the need to write a post. I  have been on here trying to seek someone to help me maybe come out of my shell. Yet I get messages from so called men or Doms on here that think that a woman should bow down to them. Act there kings when there not. Some one here can't act like slave Masters, well slavery days have been long gone. Some on here want to just act out storie, if I wanted that I would read a book, or wat h a movie. I have brains and a strong willed femal. I know what I want and don't want. I will not be talked to like I'm less then a woma. yes I came on here to meet someone to help me come out of my shell. Yes I stated I wanted to try anal play, I have never had anal but open to trying tha. No o don't want bruised or have my boobs tied up for what pain, or marks on my boobs no, do you want you dick tied up and bruised?? Well done might but still. Just maybe I'm on the wrong sit. uggg this is frustratin!!!!!!!
2026 - What will you bring? It is a while since I developed a contact here into a rewarding encounter or relationship. But as you can see I am still here. Why, you may well ask? Why suffer the frustration? Well, simply because I know how good it can be.....when the connection is there. I have been extremely lucky a handful of times in my life, with special ladies - I cherish the memories of every one. A couple are no longer with us, a couple wanted more than I could give at the time and others just ran their course, parting as friends rather than partners. So I know!!! In late 2025, I encountered a soul that brought out the Dom in me, the best of me. If you like,  she awakened the beast within or the dark passenger I carry. It was not perfect. I misjudged an early element. She is hesitant to make any "move" or say anything - waiting for the Dom ( ie me ) to orchestrate everything. I prefer and am used to a more balanced partnership, but neither could deny the primal connection. During 2026 I tried to recover from my early faux pas and build a stronger bond. I knew and understood that she really wanted a full-time, 24/7/365 relationship, but hoped we could find a middle ground. While she stayed resistant to my charms and I harboured hopes, I could cope with the ambiguity - but that was lost in early December. I am not the jealous sort, but I don't share well - just the way I am. She has now visited and stayed with another single Dom at least twice, so backed off. I miss her. I miss our interaction. But I respect her choice. Submission is a gift that she holds in her hands until she trusts it to another. It is something I would treasure, but it is not something I could or would demand. I wish her will and hope that I may find another muse in 2026. Recently most interest in my profile has come from submissive men. I am not sure why, other than the number of men on this site? I don't judge, but it is not my thing. The interaction does not reach that beast within.  
Haven't logged in in about ten months, so many messages in my inbox! Thank you all: be assured that I will be reading them all but I am taking a break for a while. Just one too many conversations ending the same and combining that with the fact that my health problems had worsen,k and the fact that I'm 100% bound to Canada forever... I'm in no mood to meet up at the moment. No mood for much sexy times at all really, sorry. If things change ou'll see me back here, but for now I shall be lurking only Have a good day!
Who am I? When I was in kindergarten, I got my very first parent-teacher meeting because I convinced a nice little boy (Timmy, Tommy, something like that) to climb into the toy cabinet. He complied (what joy!), and I then proceeded to tie the door handles together with a shoelace. Silly me, I didn't know basic rope safety back then. I didn't have safety shears, and when I could not untie my knots, little Timmy/Tommy got rather upset. It was then that a teacher had to come rescue him, and the poor Catholic School teachers realized that they'd better get on the horn to Mom and Dad, pronto. Looking at me, they must have thought "this kid was going to be A Problem." True enough, I read ahead of the class, ignored instructions in favor off more efficient methodologies, and continued to be large and in charge over the years. I'd say it's been all downhill from there, but I've rather enjoyed the ride!
THE WIFEno pantiesAss lubedReady to be fucked up her ass at all timesServes his friends bare assOn occasion, pimped out    
It is different...I know a number of widows, who are remarried to widowers... I kind of thought it a little odd until I became a widow myself. I wondered, are grief groups like the only place to meet someone once you are a widow? Are grief groups like speed dating after a while, you start going through the people there until you settle down with one because, well, at that age that is what is left? But like I said, then I became a widow... I "joined the club" no one would ever wish for anyone to ever have to join... and I get it now. It is a club. We get each other in ways others don't. It wasn't a divorce, it was a death. We will always love them. We will always speak fondly of them. Our eyes will always water at their memory. Their birthday, our anniversary, the anniversary of their death... will always be hard days. There might be children in our lives that will always will need to be comforted, and allowed space to honor their memories and love for the person. However, there is still a need for companionship again at some point. Room for love again. Desire for tactile touch of another human being on our starved bodies... It is hard to explain to someone outside the club that just because we speak fondly, cry occasionally, tell funny stories about... doesn't mean we somehow care less about our current relationship. We aren't comparing them, we aren't seeing which one is better. We are in the present with them now, and we are happy to be there... We just came with baggage, and it isn't bad baggage, we just need to be allowed to have it...
The Binder: On Wanting Things Unapologetically I have been thinking about want lately. The specific texture of it, the way it sits differently when you stop apologizing for the size of it and simply let it exist at full scale. I was raised, as most women are, to want carefully. To want reasonably. To frame ambition as gratitude and desire as practicality and to generally keep the whole operation small enough that no one feels threatened by the outline of it. I am done with that. The Binder exists because I am a woman who plans, and planning requires honesty about the destination. So here it is, plainly, without qualification: I want my dream home. Not a reasonable approximation of it, not a compromise that checks most of the boxes. The actual one, with the particular light in the particular rooms and the space that finally matches the interior life I have been carrying around in a series of spaces too small to hold it properly. A home that looks like me. That is the entire requirement and it is not a small one and I refuse to shrink it. I want work that deserves me. I have spent enough time being competent inside structures that were not built for someone like me, doing it gracefully, doing it well, doing it without making anyone uncomfortable with how much more I was capable of. The next chapter looks different. I am finishing my degree with the same intention I bring to everything: completely, on my own terms, and as the foundation for whatever comes next rather than a box I am checking for someone else's benefit. I want Japan and I want Zanzibar and I want the specific feeling of being a woman who moves through the world with enough ease and enough resources that distance stops being a reason and becomes simply a coordinate. I want to stand somewhere I have never stood and feel the particular expansion that travel produces in a person who pays attention. I want more of that, regularly, starting now and not eventually. And I want to be married again. To someone who understands, in their bones and not just in theory, what it means to belong to a woman like me. Not a partner who tolerates my nature or finds it interesting from a safe distance. Someone who meets me in public as my equal, carries himself with the kind of presence that makes other people straighten up slightly, and comes home and kneels. Who wears my marks the way some men wear medals: privately, permanently, with the specific pride of someone who earned something real. Who worships not as performance but as orientation, the way a compass points north not because it is trying to but because that is simply what it does. I want all of it at once. I want it unapologetically and in full. I want the dream home and the passport stamps and the letters after my name and the man who undoes me at the end of a long day by completely undoing himself first. The Binder is where I keep the map. This is me, reminding myself that the destination is real, that wanting it loudly is not arrogance but clarity, and that a woman who knows precisely what she is building is already most of the way there.   The rest is just time.
Today I would like to let everyone here know that I am in the process of packing up my home so I can get moved out. I don't have a lot of time to talk. But if you leave me a message I'll get to you as soon as I can. I hope you all have a good day!             Thank you, MISTRESS CATSTAR
New test results; 97% Dominant  67% Vanilla  63% Experimentalist  60% Switch  57% Master/Mistress  55% Brat tamer  53% Rigger  51% Owner  49% Exhibitionist  48% Voyeur  16% Primal (Hunter)  13% Daddy/Mommy  11% Submissive  9% Rope bunny  8% Brat  8% Sadist  7% Degrader  3% Pet  1% Slave  0% Non-monogamist  0% Primal (Prey)  0% Masochist  0% Boy/Girl  0% Degradee  0% Ageplayer  http://bdsmtest.org 97% Dominant     
If you get lost I apologize the inbox gets a bit full and it's not on purpose please understand. If you get ignored and I haven't ever replied it's likely you didn't bother to read at all and just replied to a picture! I usually try to explain as alot of you are not within the age range I'm comfortable with but sometimes I run out of spoons dealing with the disrespect of ignoring the work I put into my profile.  
I am searching for a possible 3rd s-type person to add to my life. If you are a cis male it is strictly service based and it would be every other week. Must be local and live nearby. If you are a cis female I am open to a d/s dynamic if a connection is made. While I like women I need to have a mental/physical connection to be in a relationship with them. Please read all of my journal entries before contacting me. There are more pics and additional information about me on my Fetlife profile.  https://fetlife.com/users/497253
== Results from bdsmtest.org ==  93% Submissive  89% Degradee  78% Rope bunny  77% Exhibitionist  72% Experimentalist  64% Primal (Prey)  61% Brat  55% Voyeur  53% Masochist  50% Slave  45% Pet  41% Non-monogamist  31% Switch  26% Vanilla  0% Ageplayer  0% Boy/Girl   
So three Nuns are killed in car crash and arrive at Heavens Gate and are told that they need to answer a question each before they get in. The first one is asked what name of the first woman and she answers Eve and is told correct gets in. The second one is asked what was the name of the first man and she answers Adam and is told correct and she is allowed in. The third one is asked what did Eve say to Adam when they first met, what was Eves first words to Adam? She answers, Oh that's a hard one. Correct she was told and allowed in.
I get the fact that if you don't ask for it, it is harder to find. But some people are so particular about the it they seek, that they don't give others with similar but not the same exact specifications, an opportunity. On this site, we aren't given a lot of choices as to the role we put on our profiles. Using myself as an example, I have changed my orientation from dom to sub to switch hoping to find a woman I am compatible with because I feel the person, not the role is more important. If we get along otherwise, she and I can decide which role is best for US. So many filter out potential partners for really minor reasons. It must be nice having the luxury of so many people desiring you, that you can cut some of them off without further consideration.   I guess it doesn't matter, who is going to even read this?
It's your business if you are married. But to not disclose that means every conversation you have starts with a lie. I for one do not appreciste my time being wasted this way. Shame on me for not asking. As I should know better...  
Oh wow, that looks sexy.  I don’t want to give away what I think is the best part of the scene so I manage to change into a small leather loin cloth that ties on the sides.  Imagine Jane in the Tarzan movies.  I’m wrapped in a big towel as I change in front of everyone.  I put on a hard leather mask and collar I use to protect my face and neck from the whip.  It’s cool looking and like a medieval mask with slits over the eyes.  It will protect my face and ears from any errant lashes during the scene.  I put on some ankle cuffs and drop the towel put it away.  I’m now topless in front of a crowd of people eager to see what was going to happen.  I grab two squishy rubber balls (more on this later) in my hands and I walk under the spreader bar and my wrists are attached to the suspension cuffs and my ankles are attached to the floor chains. I’m facing the crowd as I’m getting slowly oiled up.  I know the lighting and the oil really show off the definition of the muscles of my thighs and belly.  My mind is racing now.  I know what is going to happen to my body.  I can feel eyes all over my shiny glistening flesh.  Enigma is playing in the background. I feel sexy, powerful and excited. 
  I have been trying to get a grant to help Me to obtain FTB Grants, but each time I click on one of these I find that it is an advertisement in order to get My e-mail so that I can be inundated with bullshit. If  a/Any o/One has had any luck with any of these " Grant " websites" please write Me and let Me know. I would be extremely grateful.   Thank y/You   Mistress Char
Woo-hoo approved.  I kept it fairly safe cause I've heard of so many others having issues. As stated I was around when it was collarme.  Probably 2005 until it went poof.  So thrilled to see this new site. I did in fact meet quite a few men from that site over the years.  Some were one offs.  Some were play partners for a while.  Some we just weren't as compatible in person.   I do my best to avoid the latter issue by getting to know someone enough prior to meeting.  Ensuring our wants and needs are both going to be met and that expectations are realistic.  If someone cannot engage my mind prior to meeting I already know that won't happen magically just because we do meet.   I am genuinely a kind person.  I can come across bitchy because of my writing style and bluntness.  I also do not have much patience for those who will not read and are here due to boredom or for me to entertain them via writing and pics.  I am looking for real time meets.  That is all. I do lean submissive.  I love being used.  I am not an idiot or a brainless child.  I am a slut first who also happens to be submissive. If "training" is in your repertoire move on.  That's a game I'm not into.  I'm also not into submissive men or switches.   I am simply not attracted to them. I want people to reach out but please be interested in real time and local.  If men would respect what women want I think both our experiences on this site would be so much better.   I will post more and get into the good stuff.  Take care for now!
It's been a while since I've done a journal.  it's been hard to do updates since they take so long to update a profile, but I'm still in my search for a daddy dom. Over the years all I've seen are men who want to be a daddy dom but don't have experience with diapers & don't know what to do.  men who think that a girl in diapers is sexy but she has to do all the work. Nah- that's not what I want.  I want someone who is serious about having a diapered girl/slave. That knows all the right words & things to say/do with her.  I'll be home alone for the next 10ish days & im excited to be wearing 247, I'd want someone to get to know & will be strict with me. Are you out there?? Msg me & tell me your experience!
Sugar, spice, and everything nice :> pretty n pink my favfav color. Hii I'm Makayla smooth latina sissy femboy on a new path starting HRT. I'm kinda new but know what I want.  Talk is cheap and flakes.  I don't even know what to say to u.  I never flake. I love excitement total submissive sissy slave willing to commit to it all for the right master.  Loyal fun-size super cute love panties thigh high socks. Skirts outfits and attention lol. I'm good around the house. Love poppers blindfolds and cuffs.  Mixed with sissy hypno and hallucinagentics -- mind blowing.  I know what it takes to be THE perfect liddo sissy and willing to wrap my life into it serving master 24/7 never saying no. Seeking a new chapter in my life so I preferred moving the heck away from "home' 
Being a submissive means being: Honest  Obedient subservient  Courteous Respectful Committed Disciplined Accepting Willingness Mindful Humility Eager An Asset Being Challenged More than a sex object  Willing to present:  Mind                                         Body                                         Spirit                                         Soul                                         Self  
Entranceways are funny things. It's easy to look at a door, and assume you know what lies behind it. But, just as it's never a good idea to judge a book by its cover, it's unwise to judge a place by its portal. Likewise, when we're going through a time of transition, we need to remember not to confuse the journey with the eventual destination.  I am beginning a new phase of my life. Although ,it might feel a bit uncomfortable at the moment, i know I'm going in the right direction and will very much like where i end up. Owned an collared. 
I have been in severe physical pain from a recent surgery. I chose to let myself feel it seep through my body so I could concentrate on it. Meditate on it. Use it to help me find clarity and wisdom. Every time I felt like I could not find a comfortable position to lay, or awakened with fresh discomfort, I tried to memorize it since it is my only chance to catch a glimpse of what a sub does. After all, I am not interested in allowing anyone control or opportunity to inflict pain in any scene. I do not like pain but when the choice is between emotional, mental or physical, I believe it is somehow useful to let the physical carry you over the threshold. I wanted to be able to relate to what a submissive man seeks when he is reaching for that space between physical endurance and challenging his mind to accept his position despite all of society impying that he should never give in to his submissive needs.   I also wanted to use this opportunity to accept the decisions I am making that are emotionally difficult. The real truth about me as a Domminant woman is I desire true submission on MY terms, not his.    
NO NEED TO ANSWER LAST JOURNAL ENTRY. I FOUND WHOM I WAS TO MEET. HAVE A GREAT NIGHT.                MISTRESS CATSTAR...
sub must ask permission before entering/exiting a room (could be in public/designated play/comfort room/ or at home sub may only sit on the floor, on a cushion or in a designated chair Scheduling exercise time for sub Scheduled chore time Controlling their alcohol intake(when they can drink, if they can't get drunk or cutting them off Monitoring water intake Monitoring screen/phone Scheduling a time daily/weekly for sub to spend on their knees in silence, repeating a predetermined mantra Instructing sub to complete scheduled chores in a required uniform and manner  Serving its Dominant drinks/food Having them eat on the floor without using their hands Enforced nudity or near nudity in private/public (when appropriate) Daily workouts
PLEASE READ BEFORE RESPONDING I am NOT interested in cross-dressing, cuckolding, Do me Dom males or any sissy- baby dynamics, bi couples, or cat owners. If this doesn’t align with you, don’t respond. Respectful, straightforward replies on.
I've been following the discussion about the idea behind sexuality, gender roles, and gender of the Gods as it relates to those who worship the spirit of nature. One thing that need to be clear is that when it comes to the spirit world according to most religious traditions (paganism included) gender is a characteristic of the physical world. Granted that we all conceive the divine according to cultural patterns that shapes our understanding of what and how the Gods relate to this world. One important characteristic comes from the way we choose to relate and express intimacy with each other and by extension to the divine. If we assume that the divine realm is an ever present reality then when we perform any duty or activity they are infused with that numinous quality that elevates everything to the realm of perfection. Having said that, our sexuality which is as they say "an accident of the flesh" attract the Gods as a way of communing and partaking of that that is universal.  I we establish a divine relationship with the God of nature let's then look at nature to guide us in ascertain the true nature of the God. In nature the diverse ways in which sexuality is expressed provides a canvas to see that the God is at times active, at times passive, and at times neither.   Male to male sex is a show of strength on a different power stream. One partner is the guiding energy and  and the other is the guided energy. Both partake of the divine order of things. So that was divided becomes one in the union of both forces mating. Who is then the divine? Both are because the God moves freely from the phallus to the receiving vessel and back uniting what was broken into a divine whole. The idea of Top or Bottom is foreign to divine; love and bliss is its true nature. Unity is the key to that that makes us human, sex and fulfillment. Then the God is neither a Top or a Bottom he becomes what his lover wants him to be at that glorious moment in which orgasm elevates our humanity to the realm of eternity.
So, I got a message today because someone was offended by my responce to their message to me...  They felt my profile was too long to bother reading and wanted me to cut to the chase... was I still married.  The opening of my profile explaines that I am a WIDOW!  So, yes, the message ticked me off a bit and they got the full brunt of my anger.  Instead of going back and looking to see why I had called them an idiot, to see what they had missed that made them look so stupid and foolish, they wrote me again, trying to insult me this time, making themselves look dumber still!  Like guys, seriously, it is a special kind of stupid that writes someone who opens their profile saying they are a widow, and asks if they are still married.  Try, just try to send messages that don't totally insult someone if you are attempting to start a relationship that requires massive amounts of trust!  Just spend a minute and read the stupid profile people!
I've been lurking on this site, wondering whether to contact anyone and realising that I'm not sure what I'm looking for in many ways. I'm torn between wanting a committed 24/7 D/s relationship with a wonderful Domme, or osmething more casual because I'm conscious that I'm looking at transitioning, that I want to do a PhD, and that I have a load of books I want to write. I don't want to present myself as something I'm not, and I don't want to be with someone who seems intent on denigrating me from the off (and so a lot of Dommes' profiles have me backing away because of their tone).  I must admit too, that even though I think of myself as a decent writer, I'm coming up short with what to actually say to people. A simple introductory message feels like it could be fraught with danger, and yes that does seem incredibly stupid to say.  Anyway, I thought I would put something here just because "I ain't dead" as Granny Weatherwax from the Discworld books would put it. 
Her OK Space is a place where she is just getting a chance to be, be herself, be friends, be play-partners or be aware of her changing needs. She feels a change as she floats around having new experiences and enjoying all her new friendships. She no longer feels the need to be protected or guided by a hand. She was mostly into the strict Daddy-Master TPE type of dynamic but she is deciding not to look for that dynamic right now. She has decided to let herself grow and embrace new experiences, new people, and different kinds of play. Her play before was only about pleasing her Master but now she is deciding to venture out and play for herself. That selfish bitch, Yup she is but ethically so..... What makes it different for her is, doing it for the experience of something that catches her eye and is offered not in a service-type dynamic but because she wants to play with the person that has offered. It can be equated with flicking your own bean for the first time for the ladies but for the men, the first-time masturbating is your example. She has always held back until a connection was formed thinking that it would eventually happen but in most cases it never did. She missed out on many great opportunities because of wanting to stay in her comfort zone. She was addicted to safe and secure relationships because there was less chance of getting truly hurt. She was wrong and now reflaspects and decides to move forward dancing and full of life. A thirst for adventure, a thirst for experience, and an appetite for fun. She has decided that if any type of relationship forms it will be because it organically came about not because of need but want. She will fill her need herself. She is happy in her OK Space, a space for her to explore, a space for different opportunities, and a place where she holds her wheel and drives for a bit.... limitless ( with the exception of her hubby that is....). He holds complete power over her so he will keep her poised and somewhat balanced.
L.A: I need a Female Domme or Switch date to a FemDomme Dungeon Play Party in West Hollywood Sat. Nov. 6 https://fetlife.com/events/1045163   I want to attend the Sweet Sadist FemDomme BDSM play party in West Hollywood Sat. Nov 6.  The Dungeon is richly stocked with MANY BDSM play stations on the first floor.  On the second floor is a lounge room and another bedroom with 3 or 4 clean beds.   I live in Northridge, San Fernando Valley, L.A.  I will need you to pick me up in Northridge, take us to the BDSM Play Party in West Hollywood, and then take me back home to Northridge after the party is over at 1:00 am.   I am a Male Switch Rigger, but I will play as a male submissive on the main floor.  I floggings, spankings, body worship and foot worship (100% ANY female body part), strapon sex, bondage, cock & ball bondage, and roleplaying.  More of my fetishes are listed on my FetLife Profile, along with my BDSMTest.org test results.   Thank you, SuaveItalian  
I have a few minutes to sit still, so I figured I could follow up on my previous post, and discuss the topic of pictures a bit more.  But I realize I'll probably never do better than what I wrote a few years ago, and I know no one ever scrolls back and reads, even if I few do read the current posts. So I'll re-post that, and maybe it will help someone. ____________________________________ Women are not men. I know it seems obvious, yet the majority of men still pursue women without really considering what that means. They write profiles based on what THEY would like, what men value, what men think is impressive, and what they wish they saw on women's profiles. They take and post pictures the same way - based on what they value, what they think is impressive, what they wish women put in their pictures.  If they crossdress, they take and post pictures similar to those of women they found sexy - scantily clad in lingere, posed seductively or sluttily, etc. without considering that those pictures, like porn, were meant to appeal to men.  They send emails, again, that same way. I repeat - Women are not men. Dating, at it's bottom line, is marketing. You have something. You want something. You want to exchange what you have for what you want. In a store, you exchange money for goods and services. In dating, you are mostly hoping to sell. You are hoping to purchase the attention of a partner, in the long or short term, in exchange for your attention, your time, your services. You are selling you, in exchange for them. That's actually a very basic equation. You can't sell to someone unless you know what they want, and find a way to market what you have to that want. This is where most men fail - at the basic premise. They know what THEY want. They don't spend a lot of time researching what their target market wants to BUY. So they market based on what they know, and what they think they know. They know themselves. They know men, in general, and they know what commercials and movies and tv and all media everywhere has told them is attractive to women. They, being men and raised in a male dominated world, never seem to realize that all of those things are ALSO targeted to men, to get men to buy things, usually by appealing to male egos. They show women draping themselves over men who drink this beer, or drive that car, or wear that brand of clothing. They show this to men so that men will want to buy those things. Most of the time, women couldn't give less of a fuck about those things. But men are surrounded by all of this input, so they think we do. I'm not going to try to define what "all women" want on here. Not all women want the same things anyway. Right now, I'm just going to clarify that what WE want is usually not the same as what men want. You need to find out what those things are and tailor your pictures and profile to market to that. Basic things like "don't use a picture of your penis as your profile pic" have been said a million times but it's always the first thing we see everywhere we look. Yes, I like to see a pretty penis. No, I don't see a pretty penis in a picture and become suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to have it right this second. I can't say that I've ever gone looking through the internet just to look at pictures of penises. And when I get one shown to me when I haven't asked to see it, I'm not horrified, but I right there decide that the guy showing it is a pushy, insecure jackass. I lose all interest in interacting with him. It's not that the penis itself is a problem, but that it tells me something about who he is when he has to insist on showing it around - that he's not interested in pleasing ME. He's interested in his own pleasure. And I can do better than that. And honestly, a picture of your chastity device is pretty much the same as a dick pic. You don't want your profile to be a long list if things you want, either. Yes, you want things. You will need to communicate those things. And the world you were probably raised in told you that women do things for men, even Dominant women. All that BDSM porn? It shows lots of women in black leather and rubber getting a LOT of enjoyment doing those things to men. Again, that is written specifically to be bought by men, so they show men what they want to see. Yes, I like doing those things to a man. I like doing them to my partner. I sometimes want to do them to someone other than my partner. But I almost never want to do them to some total stranger just because I like doing them. Your accountant may like his job, but he doesn't go out on the street offering free tax jobs to strangers, ya know? Your profile on a dating page is your resume. Your sales pitch. Your introduction to make us think you have something worth our giving up a few minutes of our time to read further or possibly even have a conversation with you to get more details. This site is a kink/fetish site. This particular discussion is about 'finding a dominant woman.' If you are reading my journal, your target audience is a Dominant Woman. Most Dominant women I talk to are drowning in emails and offers from men who call themselves submissive. Most of them are requests for US to do what THEY want. Which is the first mistake. It's usually their last. Your sales pitch should NEVER NEVER EVER be "I'll let you spank me!" One, why do I WANT to spank you in the first place? Two, why you and not someone who is offering something I want? I'd rather talk to the subbie over here that is offering to give me a full body massage, no strings attached.
People are vastly different. So to find a single needle in 100 haystacks is seemingly an impossible feat.   Be yourself and be completely open and honest. Don't ever lie in order to find what your looking for because the lie will eventually come to the surface. .   In my opinion to be dominate is not to act or be mean to someone. It's not to hate or belittle in order to get someone to do what you want them to do.   Being self assured and dominate means to take care of and pass on knowledge.  To take someone and fulfill their lives and make them useful.    We all have a role to play in this universe. When your happy and content that means your exactly where you should be  and doing what you should be doing at that moment. So many people are on here searching ... searching but never finding or not really knowing what they are looking for. ( I'm a dom, no wait I'm a sub, no wait I'm a switch...wait wait maybe I'm a dom slave lesbian male )  When I talk about giving yourself up completely you should only ONLY do that to someone you trust and know that they have your best intention at heart. I'm not talking about a romantic relationship , that is silly to think that would happen that way over the internet. It's unrealistic and delusional .   I'm only talking to those that are looking to be owned and cared for. In turn you need to think about what you would give up to get that.
I don't know if anyone but me reads these things but I'll give it a try. Still working on the profile and waiting to be approved. I just want to clarify, in messages and communications, I will be polite and have manners. Yes I am extremely sexual and kinky, no I am not just a total asshole to people all the time. After we have introductions and discuss what we are looking for and interested in, if that's part of the agreed upon dynamic then so be it. We'll go from there. I find it better to have a respectful adult conversation about our wants before anything is decided.
MstrB writing from midtown been looking for one decent slave for some time now it will be well trained for a variety of domestic services and hopefully for the slaves sake it is able to learn from its corrections …even better if it already knows exactly what it’s good for!  ...all its further educating will be done with a strap kept very close by.... it will be made to understand it has no rights no privileges no freedom to come or to go without asking for and receiving  express permission  so much in life is correctly forbidden to a slave  and it must be reminded of this consistently if not constantly slave has no secrets no privacy or much time alone and certainly no participation or place in any considerations or discussions about things going to be done with the slave in fact it has no say in much of anything slaves Owner will have full authority over the slave and its affairs and will use that authority very strictly I am understanding of slaves condition I am sympathertic to its plight and always give a slave what it needs but allow very little of what it wants this is both an Owners prerogative over the slave as well as an extension of a kind of parental authority therefore no disrespect or disobedience will be permitted ...ever! MrB   ------------------------------------------------------------------------       I use…and enjoy very much using… real discipline- isolation- humiliation-lots of busy work in the home...all to train a female to a level of acceptable domesticity…sort of housebreaking the slave…teaching both the need for her focused Obedience and the necessity to perform with humility and accuracy whatever is demanded from her chores chores chores…so much to be done….so many things to attend to... upon collaring slaves pussy will be immediately closed for business as her chastity must be clearly established for the oversexed sluts own good...she will have no orgasms until permitted ..her hands fingers etc will be kept from her vaginal area except for purposes of good hygiene and then only under direct supervision...
 rule of thumb...a slave will be fully given what she needs and very very little of what she wants. so I am here seeking full Ownership of such a woman and she would do well to have a real slave personality....certain qualities will be emphasized in her training as more wanted than others...humility for instance...a highly prized quality that can't be stressed enough and that is wholly attractive to see when presented with sincerity …she will be shown how to provide service as the Obedient intelligent servant she was born to be… she will complement my life and basically make things easier for me in whatever way she is called on…as a relationship develops between Owner and slave she will come to appreciate more and more the kinds of support and guidance given to her... she will learn to approach her Owner with nothing less than demonstrable Respect under all circumstances… her training in how to properly submit herself will never really end so her attention will be directed to intellectual things I will insist she consider and think about...adult slave lessons on a cerebral level… she will be stripped, anally plugged and put into a submissive position on her knees or perhaps ordered to freeze on her tiptoes... she will then be closely questioned about these things…her answers are required and truly valued… she must be responsive and forthcoming to all questions about her feelings her moods and her progress in becoming more servile and useful..the point being to make her a better servant and a more responsive slave....these interrogations and her confessions of her feelings will be a ritual she will learn to anticipate and expect …the reasons for them are simple..I want her to be fully aware of her condition in this lifestyle and in my life most of all…she belongs to me as my property and she is subject to my discipline my control my desires and decisions for her… I want her to learn to accept and in the end embrace the benefits she enjoys thanks to me because I do what I think is best for her… I will do whatever needs to be done to turn this woman into the best slave she can possibly be …I am a sexual sadist all my life and knew this when I was about eight or nine though I had no idea of the implications…
I use many forms of personality and behavioral techniques.. real discipline, humiliation, isolation, very tight bondage, sensory dep... whatever I find has the greatest effect on her emotions.. I will happily enforce her Obedience until she learns to respectfully offer it...one way or another I will get what I want from her…she will be trained to domestic service of various kinds...she will be watched closely and fairly judged on how well she performs these tasks and she will be unfailingly punished when she fails to do them as instructed...her good service is a pure reflection of her Respect for her Owner and her place in his life... her Obedience is the essence of her slave self....to be useful in all ways and show that she knows her place at all times is one of her many goals as the slave she is.... and her training will center heavily on perfecting her attitude as she is carrying out the tasks given her ...no matter what the work or activity is, it must be performed with a pleasing attitude...with humility... and if not?...
so many reasons a woman offers to give her a memorable correction…as though a reason were even needed.  I am open for discussion of all issues which will come up and need to be addressed to keep things balanced and harmonious between Owner and slave…she will be safe and protected from as much of the outside world as she wants to not have to deal with... I welcome the amazing emotional connections that come from a successful M/s relationship and take full responsibility for what I do !... not everything can be solved with a strap but for a true slave? nothing else will do……McB  
8/24/25 I'm around, albeit less frequently. I am still looking for a FT sub/slave, with a big focus on working beside me, as my hands. A sub in my Home will be well cared for, with a level of D/s and kink that helps keep them motivated. If you enjoy house and yard work, there's plenty to stay busy, or if you're able and want to work from home or here in the Denver area, that's an option.  Long-term position is also a possibility, which means my extra-long set of questions may be the most important job application you ever complete.  It's not for the faint of heart... Then again, neither am I. 😈
Returning to Seattle for 10 days to check in on things, attend (unfortunately) a funeral for a relative, and breath in some good PNW fresh air. Wondering if I need to bring along my chastity cage in case a keyholder wants to manage it for my 7 of my 10 days (traveling up and back for the other 3). MSG me (please) if interested as a 1 week KH and Domme!
So the world is rapidly changing for me and us. We are leaving Florida and relocating to southern Oregon in the coming month or two. As is often the case with big changes some of the issues behind it have been discussed and worked through but the final push seems to have been just a coincidence and offer of an extraordinary work opportunity.  I don't know hardly anyone in Oregon but I'm sure we'll meet wonderful open minded and liberal people there once we settle in. We have lots to get done here before leaving and just driving across country with 2 Great Danes and 3 bossy black cats will be a challenge. We're still looking to add the right person or two to form a small bdsm focused poly family so if that's something you can relate to and Oregon sounds more inviting than SW Florida feel free to write and let me know.... 
I opened my profile and was overwhelmed with mails. Some from old friends. Some from people I didn't know. I did continue conversations with a couple new people I was anxious to get to know (one near, one far), and ghosted by both. I may have said or done something unintentionally in a way that could be taken wrong, I have been rather ill with a sinus thing (not the kind of sick I am use to) and a tad grouchy and needy. But still something could have been said in a message perhaps?
Thanks to anyone who takes the time to view my profile and send a message. I ask, respectfully, that you please, please, pretty please not send me messages with "Domly" (lol) or humiliating language.  I am not your submissive at this stage and it's insulting to us both to use this sort of language in an initial conversation. Let's be pleasant and polite and courteous, please.  I'm referring to messages with text like "Hello slut" or "Nice udders, whore." I'm not offended by this type of language - but I don't find it flirty or charming and it definitely derails any chances we have for actual communication.  
I feel like the majority of people on this site are clinging to an unachievable fantasy. There. I said it. Don't get me wrong... Kink, total power exchange, all of that stuff is GREAT, and I wouldn't be here if I didn't want that in my relationship. But so many people here seem to blow those things up into EXTREMES. We are all here ultimately seeking some form of relationship. Even if you want your relationship to entirely revolve around sex and kink and that is all you care about, it's still a relationship. Especially if you're seeking to be a live-in slave, how do you expect to fill the void when you're NOT in the middle of sex stuff? The emotional connection is SO IMPORTANT. Yes, it's important to me that my boy be cute and his looks match what I want, but I would get bored of him SO quickly if he had the personality of a potato. I know some of you want to be totally o b j e c t ified and locked away when you're not in use, which DOES sound hot and appealing, but I also feel that would get SO boring, lonely, and miserable after like... a week, if not a day. The kink and power exchange should definitely be present, but to me there is no satisfaction in owning someone without a soul. We are social creatures, and you should be giving more than just your body to me. The TOTAL o b j e c t ification stuff can be a fun activity we do sometimes and turn on and off as I please, but I just don't see the reality in centering a whole lifestyle around it. (Though the total power exchange element WOULD always be present. You are still my human after all!) If you plan to approach me, PLEASE be ready to talk about more than just sexual stuff. Be your authentic self, let your personality shine through, give me a sense of who you are and what you're all about! I promise it will make me want to own you all the more. My favorite people are the ones with lots of personality.
Waitress the Musical is in theaters for a few days, in case you were not aware. I saw it twice. I have been listening to the soundtrack for quite some time so while I'm familiar with the music and the story, it was nice to put it all together. It gave it more meaning, and definitely endeared several songs and characters that I had quickly dismissed prior. I highly recommend it if you have time tomorrow. Last day.  There is this one character, Dawn. She works at the diner and is quite quirky and loveable. She has a song that is entertaining, and in my opinion, extremely heartbreaking. There are two lines that hit me: What if when he sees me, what if he doesn't like it? What if he runs the other way and I can't hide from it? What happens then?What if when he knows me, he's only disappointed? What if I give myself away only to get it given back? I couldn't live with that. I feel that so much. That feeling of not being sure, thinking I'm not enough. That I'm not worth the effort. It's something that resurfaces in rocky relationship times. And sometimes for no reason at all. To drown it out I need to be loved out loud. Consistently. To quote another song, this one sung by Dawn's also quirky beau: I love you like a table. Cover me in stuff and I will hold it up, strong and stable. I love you like a table.  I'm a lot of work. I know this. I also know that somebody out there won't mind. 
Wow, it has been along time since i posted anything.    1st i am still alive.   Next month will mark 7 years since my last D/s.  Not even sure i would be a good slave or even sub anymore to be honest.  So much has happened and tho i retain allot of who i was, who i am is no longer known.  I am damaged.  And tho i would love a relationship , i dont need another setback in my life. In 2020 i was forced to rehome my 3 birds,   And June this year i was able to adopt a new baby bird,  he was 3 months only when i got him. . After some of the events  to have taken place my brain is noticeably not the same, and i am learning how to do a few things again.
Okay, so updating my profile and being stuck in the approval limbo seems like a bad idea, so lets try the journal.Freshly active 33 years old guy with submissive mindset and on the search for good talks, nice experiences and maybe even a real connection with a special, strong woman whom I can call my Mistress?!?Into kinky stuff since my early 20s, never got the chance to dive into the deep end. Dabbled a bit over the years, but never got far... So much more to explore, so many kinks to discovery, so many things to test and try out.Let's see how this pans out.
well i am booked to fly out thursday to Cologne, Germany. For the Fetish celebration. on the October 20th to the October 22nd I'm staying there till the October 24th. Hopefully looking forward to collaboration with some of the other content creators that'll be there in the other kinksters. I'm leaving a few days short of my birthday on the 26th of October. I'll be looking to create some great content For my instagram, twitter, Tik Tok social media and my fansly site. After the event as well as on the 23rd creating some more live streams and content visiting a few fetish store and kink clubs and the 24th before flying back to the states. as the rubber cat girl and rubber doll I am.  
Current Mood...... I have climbed highest mountainsI have run through the fieldsOnly to be with youOnly to be with you I have runI have crawledI have scaled these city wallsThese city wallsOnly to be with you But I still haven't found what I'm looking forBut I still haven't found what I'm looking for I have kissed honey lipsFelt the healing in his fingertipsIt burned like fireThis burning desireI have spoke with the tongue of angelsI have held the hand of a devilIt was warm in the nightI was cold as a stone But I still haven't found what I'm looking forBut I still haven't found what I'm looking for I believe in the kingdom comeThen all the colors will bleed into oneBleed into oneBut yes I'm still runningYou broke the bondsAnd you loosed the chainsCarried the crossOf my shameOh my shameYou know I believe it But I still haven't found what I'm looking forBut I still haven't found what I'm looking forBut I still haven't found what I'm looking forBut I still haven't found what I'm looking for []https://youtu.be/e3-5YC_oHjE?t=74url)
A lot of people don't realize who they are. Like my neighbor, who says she doesn't want to gossip, I suspect because it's frowned upon, and yet can't wait to get juicy details that are none of her business. She sticks her nose in where it isn't needed all over the damn place. I don't think she realizes how much she thrives on it. She definitely doesn't use it to her advantage in a field where it could be useful.  Or my pain in the ass direct boss, who loves authority, who has to be right, who treats women as slightly to moderately inferior depending on the situation. He's insensitive. He's loud. And he doesn't seem to give one single shit what anybody thinks. This man has no idea that people don't want to deal with him, men or women. That at least a handful of good people have left because of him.  I think a lot about who I am and how it is portrayed. What sometimes comes out instead and if that's me or reactionary. Then again, most of my life has been reactionary, so maybe I don't even know who the real me is. I'm learning. I made the decision to switch careers and I am giving myself a year to do it. Research, learn, prep, etc. And just like that, I care a whole lot less about my boss because now he's temporary.  It's another moment where my life is on hold, but it isn't. This time I'm like a duck swimming; serene above water, paddling like crazy below. I think I'm moving in the right direction in figuring out who I am and where I want to be. It begins. 
  11/07/2024  Take Notice  I will be unavailable until further notice.  The noted positions have not been filled ...  For those that meet preferences and follow direction     I may or may not be checking in periodically.   
The Chinese sites like Temu and AliExpress have some cheap kinky stuff, but it could be embarrassing when kinky stuff comes up in your sidebars on various websites. It's okay when furniture and vanilla stuff comes up.   Cheap pvc wear amongst other stuff on Temu and Ali. Handy for anyone wanting to dip a toe into fetish wear. I definitely approve of the shiny leggings on there, obviously. We all know our devices are listening to us. But really, there should be a way to filter out the fetish ads. Getting an ad for Honour in a sidebar while browsing the phone at work would be interesting to explain if the guys didn't already know what I get up to in private.      
Building an authentic M/s relationship takes time. It starts with conversation. Open and honest about what things mean, experiences, expectations, and more. How else would we determine if we are good for each other. Then, it takes a leap of faith from both of us. I've been surprised by a "slave" who was so rude and so standoffish. I get I am not for everyone just as not everyone will be a good match for Me. But still... kindness is for everyone.  I am not a wannabe. Nor am I just a thirsty boy looking for sex. Sex will be a great part of our dynamic but it's not what drives Me. I've lived this life authentic for many many years. I seek that 24/7 TAT/TPE again.  That likely starts on line and then moves to calls and visits. I am not here to scam you, lead you on, have you send pics, or wank off to you on skype. Not My thing at all. I am old school. you'll always be treated with respect. Being in charge doesn't equate to mean or disrespectful.  Just about every ex or ex play partner will have good things to say about Me. One was a compulsive liar who turned nasty. A few of them would love for Me to collar them again. you will not be disappointed with Me if you are truly seeking a deep D/s or M/s bond and relationship.  I am still in Grand Rapids while I look at places to relocate to. I'll buy a house and settle in wherever that leads Me to. I hope you'll take a leap of faith. MT
O/our marriage ceremony has finally taken place - my adored Wife & Mistress has solemnly sealed Her Female Domination (: She has granted my humble request and taken possession of me as her devoted property. She accepted me plighting my irrevocable troth to submit myself unconditionally to Her will and wishes and to be at Her service at all times. In a ritual inspired by the “Cybelian Marriage”, She has affirmed Her vision for O/our relationship, how She wants to use and arrogate Her devoted property in the future and how She wants to be lacking for nothing.i have to report on the ceremony and the new dynamic that has entered O/our relationship here in the coming months and have to be available for Your feedback and answers.my adored Wife & Mistress sends her warmest regards to A/all those who live Female Domination and those who are subordinate to her! U/unsere Ehezeremonie hat endlich stattgefunden - meine angebetete Ehefrau & Mistress hat Ihre weibliche Herrschaft feierlich besiegelt (: Sie hat meiner demütigen Bitte stattgegeben und mich als Ihr ergebenes eigentum in Besitz genommen. Sie hat mir das unwiderrufliche Gelübde abgenommen, mich Ihrem Willen und Ihren Wünschen bedingungslos unterzuordnen und Ihr jederzeit treu zu Diensten zu sein. Sie hat in einem von der "Cybelian Marriage" inspirierten Ritual Ihre Vorstellungen an U/unsere Beziehung bekräftigt, wie Sie Ihr ergebenes eigentum künftig nutzen und benutzen und es sich an nichts fehlen lassen will.Über die Zeremonie und die neue Dynamik, die in U/unsere Beziehung Einzug gehalten hat, habe ich hier in den nächsten Monaten zu berichten und für Reaktionen und Fragen zur Verfügung zu stehen.meine angebetete Ehefrau & Mistress lässt alle, die weibliche Herrschaft leben und alle, die ihr untergeordnet sind herzlich Grüßen!  
's not easy to move a mountain. Success depends on whether the mountain's prepared to move and how much explosive you can access. Some people make a living out of this kind of work, and know exactly how much dynamite's needed to create the right kind of result. 
It has been long since last I visited this site I find it but mildly change. I look forward to a long stay this time and hope to find a worthy submissive with whom I can commune and grow. DL
Collaring It's come to my attention that a lot of Dom's don't have any formal collaring ceremony and tend to awkwardly wing it. There's nothing wrong with that, we all started somewhere. I'm writing this for those Dom's who need a "Step 1" since you can't exactly go to chatgpt and ask for this. This comes after vetting, after ensuring compatibility and establishing limits. Couple things to know about my dynamic before we go further. First, every girl has their "enterance name". Something simple like little one or pretty girl, generic. Then this is when they get both their collar and their slave name. In this case the girl is going from "pretty girl" to "princess". I begin: The room is dim, but there are a few candles lit, casting a glow. The applicant (as I call the new girls) kneels next to Puppy, jewel of my harem, which is a mix between a den mother and a mother superior. I slowly settle into my chair across the room from those two and look directly at the new girl who instinctively lowers her eyes, but lets out the slightest hint of a smile. "Lower your forehead to the floor, and begin crawling towards me," I tell her before she slowly obeys. I begin to recite as she crawls towards me and away from puppy: "For as long as man has walked beside animals he has used collars for a simple reason: To mark his possessions. To control them via means of a leash or just holding the collar. To show that they belong to someone. A collar tells others that this one is not stray, or unclaimed. A collar says something. Pride. Identity. Belonging. But above all that? It shows you are owned." I then reach down, and wrap the collar around her throat. she still hasn't looked up, her forehead still pressed to the floor. I gently lift her chin and smile, and look into her eyes. "Hello, pretty girl. My name is Master, and yours is Princess" Usually there's a soft "hi" and a smile. What you do after this is completely up to you, but I usually turn my personality all the way back on and say something akin to "OK get your ass over here" and wrap her up in a bear hug. Couple notes: I paced myself, matching my cadence to her speed and being careful to finish as she approached. If need be take a moment to tell her to slow down or speed up. Do so with swiftness and command. Something like "I'm sure your more eager to receive your collar than that. you can move a little faster." or "This isnt a race, you will slow down, breathe." I maintain a strict "sir" only name until this point. I am a random dom, therefore I am sir. Its only after she's collared that its official and she can call me Master, Daddy, or whatever was decided upon. The name she was gonna call me was established long ago. I've got a whole post called "Whats in a name?". Take this, modify it to your own needs, critique it, and enjoy.
Since it is difficult to edit the Profile here, I will put most of my information into the Journal.If it is in ALL CAPS it means I have done this and am willing to do again, everything else I am interested in or willing to do or try.     ANAL SEXASS PLAYASS WORSHIP AtM                         BEGGING         BLINDFOLDS    BODY WORSHIP         BONDAGE                 Cages         CANDLE WAXCanes and CROPS         Chastity         CLOTHED FEMALE NAKED MALECLOTHED MALE NAKED MALE                 Cock and Ball Torture, CLAMPS, etc.COLLAR AND LEASH        Cross Dressing         Dildos (HANDHELD & Strap-ons)DOMESTIC SERVICE         Electrical Play         Electrotorture (EMS TENS units)Enemas         Eye Contact Restrictions         FACE FUCKFACESITTINGFEM DOMFOOD PLAYFOOT WORSHIP         FORCED BI         GAGSGINGER, FIGGINGHair Pulling         Hairbrush SpankingsHANDCUFFS SHACKLESHoods         HOUSEWORK SERVICE        HUMILIATIONICE CUBESInterrogation Role PlayJockstraps & UNDERWEAR used as a gagKidnapped Role Play         LICKING  MALE DOMMassage (GIVING)         MASTURBATIONMouthsoaping    Object Role Play    Open Mouth GagsORAL INTIMACY        ORAL SEXORGASM CONTROL AND DENIAL        OTK SPANKINGSOUTDOOR BONDAGE         PISS and scat play (Scat needs discussion.)Predicament Role Play         PUPPY Role Play         RIMMINGROLE PLAYING        Role Play CHATROUGH SEXSENSORY TOYS        Shaved Pubic Hair                  SPANKING/PADDLINGSPEECH CONTROL         SPITTINGSPREADER BARSStockings         STRAP & BELTTOYS & VIBRATORS                  WATERSPORTS    WHIPS     MY LIMITSThese are Hard Limits!  I am not willing to be pushed on these.No Under Age:  No one under 18!No Drugs: Of any kind, this includes poppersNo Blood: Yours or Mine!No Diseases or Similar:  Condom for anal unless you have a RECENT test results.No Asphyxiation or Breath PlayNo Cuts, Burns, Brands or Tats (On me!)No Injuries: I mean no broken bones, insertions (Sounds, etc) or ANYTHING that may require a trip to the ER!No Punching or Kicking:No Permanent Marks:  Nothing that will last more then a day or three. This INCLUDES writing and drawing on me!No Head or Body Shaving:No Public Play: Too many CC cameras and cell phones out there.  I do not want to be arrested or see myself on TV or the internet.No Pictures or Video, Live Feeds etc that show my face or identity.Though I am single, I cannot Host but can manage travel within reasonable distances.
So one day you find you have lost the one thing that makes you whole. Taken without rhyme or reason. You devote your life to other aspaspects. Your daughter, work, your home… She grows up and begins her own life. Work was good and helped you live a good life. But suddenly you find yourself in a quiet moment and the darkness swarms in.. you miss the control. You miss the power. You use the tenderness. You miss a touch. But the world you knew has changed. You’re expected to be brash and expected to put your life out there for all to see. I had intimacy. I have safety. I have protection and received absolutely devotion. I took when I desired, and I held when she cried. Why can I not find someone who wants the same? And no I am not trying to replace her, or cling to a lost memory of control. I mean why has the world changed so much, that just wanting more than play is seen as old fashioned.
Understanding:    What does it mean to truly understand? To grasp the depths of another's hand, To see beyond words, to feel the emotion, To bridge the gap, find a shared devotion.   Is it in the silence, the space between, Where empathy blooms, unseen yet keen? Or in the eyes, windows to a soul, Where truths lie hidden, waiting to unroll.   Understanding is a dance, a delicate art, A merging of minds, a meeting of heart. To walk in another's shoes for a while, To embrace their essence, their joys, their trial.   It's a connection that transcends the spoken word, A bond so deep, yet seldom heard. To understand is to truly be present, To listen, to feel, to be ever-so pleasant.   So let us seek to understand each other, To lift veils, to unearth, to discover. For in understanding, we find unity, A shared humanity, a priceless opportunity.
What my submissive nature looks like:   I naturally end up taking care of others better than I take care of myself. I love to maintain a household and provide nourishment and comfort to all who dwell there. I enjoy pampering my partner. I’ve raised a child, I garden, I cook, I fix things and I take pride in a job well done.    Things I’m not so good at… selling myself, making big $$, asking for what I need or making the first move.   I’m sensitive and inquisitive. I care about the world. I’m drawn to ponder the meaning of life. I cherish touch, beauty, intimacy and indulging in carnal delights. I love truth and freedom. I adore feeling wanted, desired and useful to the Feminine. I adore giving pleasure… physical, emotional and mental. I adore receiving pleasure. I enjoy enduring erotic pain for another’s pleasure… and I cherish serving the will of a Goddess. 
Remote Controlled - Part 1This is a fiction story based on a real event The year was almost over once again and Sally had no one to gift her bound and helpless form to. Another year had passed and every dominant man she had met was a no-hoper. Scrolling on her phone she looked mournfully at the parade of bound subs that filled social media. Tapping over to her dating profile she sighed. It took a lot of patience to filter through the inbox. Determined to keep trying she browsed the various messages she had received. It was the usual stuff - men with empty profiles saying 'hey'. Disappointed she pushed on through message after message until she saw one with a photo attached. Steeling her courage, Sally tapped the message desperately hoping it wasn't yet another unsolicited dick pic.To her surprise it wasn't. It was a picture of an app that she recognised. She used the app herself for one of her toys. As she took in the picture she realised that her username was displayed. 'Random Control' was a feature of her app controlled toys. A butt plug and vibrator she owned could be worn and then controlled by a random user of the app. Sure enough, this picture was coming from someone who she had chatted with as he controlled her toys! For a moment panic made her blood run cold. Was it creepy that he'd tracked her down on a dating site? What other profiles of hers did he know about? Semi-paralysed by this surprise it took her some time before she read the message to which the picture was attached. 'Control doesn't have to be random. All you have to do is ask.' Sally froze. This was out of the ordinary. How is someone meant to answer this? She gulped, but found herself unable to tap away from the message. She had to know more. Quickly she tapped through and read this man's profile. Thepicture wasn't amazing, but there was a very well written description of what this man was looking for. With every line Sally found herself drawn in further and faster. On the screen at least this man seemed like everything she was looking for. At least, right up until he used a single word - pantyhose. Sally's growing smile dropped. He was likely American. No Brit would use that word. Sure enough, on checking there it was - Bridgeport, Connecticut. Still, he deserved a reply. It was the most interesting message she'd received in weeks. 'I remember our chat. It was mindblowing. I'm sorry to say I'm not looking for an online relationship. - Sally' Dispondant, Sally closed the site and settled down for a lonely night. Streaming the latest reality show nonsense, her brain numbed and the familiar rut closed in. Moments later her phone buzzed. 'What is it about online that worries you? - Jonathan' 'Consequences, there can't be any when its all online. I can say I've done something but you have no way of knowing if thats the truth. Its just not as fun for me. - S' 'I understand. Are you up for another fun chat then?' Sally smiled. An online D/s relationship didn't get her motor running, but the thought of someone else teasing her with her toys really did. She quickly messaged back before hurrying to her toy chest. A touch of lube later and her plug and vibe were in. A few quick taps and she had the app open and connected to the man on the other end. His voice wasn't terribly deep. In fact he spoke very softly and gently. Almost careful with every word he chose to use. 'I really did love the message Jon.' 'It's Jonathan, not Jon.' He hadn't raised his voice at all to say this, instead he chose to set her toys to vibrate at their maximum settings. Sally breathed deeply as the toys caused her to let out a low moan. 'S..sorry Jonathan.' 'That's okay. Now you know.' The vibrations stopped as he lowered the control on his app. Then a second later, there was a barely perceptable rumble from her plug combined with a slow rhythmic buzz from her vibe. Sally gulped, he was good. 'You know Sally, there are other toys like this. Other ways a long distance dynamic can work.' But Sally bared heard, he was clearly skilled at controlling these types of vibrating toys. He was varying not just the intensity but the frequency and the patterns of her toys. 'Or maybe, even this type of play isn't something you enjoy as much as it sounds like?' The vibration stopped from both of Sally's toys. Snapping back to reality her hips were wriggling around, desperate for the good feelings from the toys. 'Please, don't stop now!' 'Well then Sally, answer me. Did you know that there are a lot of different long distance toys like this?' 'I'm sure there are. I don't think it would help though. Even in person, I can be bratty. I find ways to make it seem like I've done what was asked of me.' The vibrations began again, but this time at a very low level. Sally's hips writhed against the air, desperate to make the most of the sensations from the toys. She gripped her breats, teasing her nipples. 'What if I had a plan? A way of addressing some of your weaknesses? Would you be willing to at least hear me out?' 'I...I suppose...I could keep an...oh...oh.' Sally struggled for words as he played with her toy's controls masterfully. 'An open mind?' 'Oh god! Ye...ye...yes, and open mind.' 'I'm glad to hear it. Now, when you are close, do be a good little slut and ask me for permission to cum.' Sally's entire body began to quake as both the plug and the vibe filled her with sensations that felt amazing. Closing her eyes, she flipped to her front and ground her hips into her bed, trying to get more from the sensations of the vibe filling her. A few moments later, she was begging the male voice she knew as Jonathan for the permission to cum. He managed to play the controls so well that he kept her right on the edge of an orgasm for another two minutes. To Sally it felt like twenty, but before too long he said in a gentle voice: 'Cum for me Sally.'
Let me tell you who I am and why I am this way. I am a natural leader! Not because I take it, because God made me this way. In High School, I was the Battalion Commander (the highest rank) for our military program. On active duty, I took operation out as the office in charge. I was enlisted but we were short officers so I was picked by field grade officers,  to lead the operation for my platoon. I didn't ask for any of this, it was given to me (by  God). I feel God gives us our path and it is up to us to walk it. I read the Bible, and it is very clear that he wanted man to be head of the house hold! You may ask, what about the women. Is she worthless, just an object, second rate! No, she is much more than most men realize, much more! She is his back bone, his purpose for living, his sounding board (to talk to on his ideas and hear her voice on it). Without a strong woman by his side, he cannot reach his potential (so he would never be at his best, without her)! You can agree or disagree, but like I said at the start, THIS IS WHO I AM!
As a Master I envision my role as more than just a mere figure in their lives, but rather as a sentinel, a guardian who stands at the forefront of their futures. It's an inherent part of my responsibilities and duties to shield them from harm, while also steering them in the right direction. In this world filled with endless possibilities, paths and unforeseen challenges, I perceive myself as the beacon of light that navigates them through their journeys.  Moreover, it is my explicit role to ensure they become the most refined versions of themselves. I do not wish for them to merely become part of the crowd, but to fully embrace their uniqueness and potential, and ultimately realize the zenith of their capabilities. The world we live in is diverse and enriched with various talents, abilities, and strengths. Therefore, I bear the responsibility of kindling the spark within them, helping them unearth their hidden talents, fostering their skills, and aiding them in scaling new heights of achievement.  It's crucial to understand that it is not about trying to mold them into something they are not, but rather assisting them in tapping into the reservoir of potential that lies within, to become the best versions of themselves. This entails encouraging them to consistently strive for excellence, motivating them to surpass their limitations, and helping them cultivate an indomitable spirit that cherishes the pursuit of learning, growing, and evolving.    
  i feel like there’s something missing in my life and i don’t know if it’s a shot of tequila, a kitten, fish and chips, or ………….
I wanted to add a little bit more about me without changing the profile text. I am dependable and keep my word and I expect you to do the same. As a switch, I enjoy topping with the same activities I like to bottom: bondage (rope, metal, leather, inescapable), sensory deprivation, pleasurable sensation play (some pain, but more pleasure).   If you are interested, I expect to exchange a few emails and then talk by telephone and then meet in person. Long, extended email exchanges (or computer chat) are not the way I get to know a person.
He had been communicating for a while with an experienced Gay master and the day had finally come where they would meet in person.  They had agreed to meet in a public place at a little bar and café. If the meeting would go well they might be leaving together and he would be under his Masters control for the weekend. He had been provided with very specific instructions on the time to meet and what table to take. He had come in good time to make sure he could get the specific table his Master had instructed him to sit at. He wanted to make sure he left a good first impression.  He was in luck the table was vacant. It was in the remote/back side of the restaurant. He had been told to sit with his back facing the restaurant area looking at the wall which would allow his Master to approach him without him being able to see Master coming.  He was to order two specific bottled beer. He was not to touch the beers but patiently wait for his Master to arrive with both his hands on the table. Time went really slowly and he found himself constant looking at his watch.  He suddenly heard steps behind him. Was it the waitress or was it Master?  He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder and a voice behind him “Do not turn around “.  The hand massaged his shoulder end moved down his chest…. Gentle squeezing his nipples. The hand moved further down to his crotch. He was so hard.. “Heads and eyes down” He lowered his head and Master walked around and sat down at the table. He did not dear lifting his head.  He could see Master hand taking the beer and Master zipping off the beer while making a smiling sound. Finally he heard the voice “Okay you can lift you head” He excited lifted his head and there was Master in front of him.   They spent the next 20min talking and get to know each other while enjoying the beers.  It was a great continuation of the conversation they had had on email and chat and they both was in agreement to proceed the relationship to the next level. Master reached down in his backpack and took up a small carrying plastic bag.  “if you want to proceed you will go to the restroom and do what the note in this bag instructs you”.  He was super excited to continue and took the bag and hurried to the restroom. Inside the bag was a note that said.  “You are plug yourself with the plug in this bag.  Take off your underwear and place it into the bag and you are NOT to take a piss” The plug in the bag was luckily not that big as he was very tight in the rear and there was some lubricant.  He quickly slid the plug into place and removed his underwear. His cock was hard a steel and with no underwear it was scratching against the inside of his jeans. He went back to Master table and handed over the bag with his underwear. Master put on a smile..  “Now it is my turn, Please order me a new beer ONE only. ” Master excused himself and went out to the restroom.. He brought along his own beer bottle. He was quickly back and sat down.  “Well boy it is time you know who is boss” He handed his beer over.  The bottle was warm. OH my good he had refilled the bottle with his piss in the bathroom.  “Here is your new beer, now drink up” It was so humiliating. Sitting there in a public place drinking master’s hot piss out of a beer bottle.  He had tried drinking hot piss before but never this way.  Master was enjoying him selves with his new fresh beer. He finished the beer and would have loved to have had a glass of water to clear him mouth of the salty taste. “Good boy”. What do you say we get out of here….  They walked to Masters car. Master opened the passenger seat and he jumped in. He put on his seat belt and Master handed him a pair of sunglasses…  the sunglasses has the inside colored black and totally blocked his sight.  Master closed the door and jumped into the driver’s seat.  When inside the car Master unzipped his jeans and his hard cock immediately sprang out..  Master laughed, gave him a deep kiss and started the car. Another humiliating experience sitting there not knowing where they were going sitting there with his dick hanging out like a flag pole. Few minutes later they turned into Master driveway and into the garage and the automatic door closed behind them. Master went around to the passenger seat opened the door and guided him out of the car and sat him down on a chair in the garage.  “Get undressed, Quickly!” He quickly did as tol and soon was standing naked on the cold garage floor.  His hands was retrained behind his back with a pair of steel handcuffs and a ball gaga placed in his mouth.  Eyes down and follow me…  The next two days he would be under Masters control…
Well, it's been a while since the last journal. Couldn't be arsed digging into the site to post one to wait months for approval. Hopefully now it's back on the sidebar posting should be instant like it used to be. Enough of the site gripes.  Here's to a better 2022 than the last two years. Hopefully in the UK the politicians have got the message. Us plebs are a feisty lot when you piss us about. No more restrictions. Now can we crack on and tell the EU to stop playing games? They're dealing with a sovereign nation, an equal. Not some spineless, subservient. That would make my year. Talking of spineless subservients, I see lots of male subbies checking out the profile now our pictures are back up. Naughty boys. And soo transparent. Searching for pics eh? 
Here is an open thought. I am not on this site to find love. I have been loved, I have been engaged twice to the same man, that was a wild ride. I am not the type to have kids, however I can see myself adopting the runt of a litter who has no hope and a limited future and share my survival skills to make the runt the front runner in life.  I have always loved being the assumed underdog in life. I am a working professional so I will expect a man I try to connect with to be the same. I am not interested in a person's bank balance or assests, honestly none of my business. I do expect a man who is in my company to not be a cheap skate and I have met a couple. I am not expecting to be bought but I do expect if a man wants a BORN women who enjoys her feminity I should not have to spell out make an effort with flowers, make an effort with running the bath, make and effort with you see a pretty dress or skirt and think I know ONE women in my company who would look good in that. I appreciate men contact me and offer they want to be one of my two men but when I ask you to unmask yourself and tell me who you are, I want to know I am not inviting an unkept, unwashed, unclean, diseased, unemployed dread of society into my world or my bed. I don't think that is a hard ask. If you want to see my face not an issue, I do WhatsApp and you can even video chat for all I care but if you make me jump hurdles I will make you jump the same bar.   C
3 death anniversaries of people I love today and some cunt had to message me regarding my journals about my Sir saying they're exhausting to read. Bitch, don't read them then, duh. Fuck outta my inbox with your bullshit. This is why you were unfriended to begin with. 64 and doesn't know how to keep scrolling, is just sad and pathetic. I'm sorry but if my journals are exhausting for you to read, DON'T READ THEM. Nobody is making you. But I'm glad I live rent free in your head lol
I am not on here often, but I have met several lovely people over the years.  The best place to reach Me is on FetLife or bdsmlr.  If you are not familiar with those sites, you should check them out.  They are free and offer some fun visuals and opportunity for connection.  My FetLife profile is here. https://milkyandthegentlemenwriters.bdsmlr.com/ My job demands a great deal of My time, but it affords Me a chance to travel to many places to meet people.  The pandemic put a strain on everyone, and I hibernated a little, but I am ready to explore once more.  A word of advice:  if I offer to meet you, do not play coy.  I want to touch you, not simply chat online.  To watch your eyes widen, to hear your intake of breath and your sighs and moans, to feel you tremble.  
Catagories Master,slave, Dom, sub...don't say much.  They are like cities, but you still have the districts, the neigborhouds, the streets..and the houses. The human behind a slave or sub goes way deeper than the title. But after a few years in BDSm you know that..and it is still full of supprises..as you meet different people over and over. I guess that is why experience doesn't always say much. Yes skills can be interesting for a whip or shibari....but for the person behind it "experience" everytime starts over and over. (even with the same person after several years).          
Male energy. It may not look like it but my sub gives off male energy.  Maybe it's because as a personal trainer she has to have a sense of command over her clients.  She sometimes has to motivate them to push themselves during a workout.   In the beginning of our relationship it was working great.  As part of my job I met a lot of wealthy people and when they saw how fit I am the conversation would sometimes shift and they would ask me, "How do you stay so fit?". So I'd tell them about my personal trainer and hand them her card.  I wouldn't mention that she was my sub wife of course.  They'd contact her and she'd train them.  Sometimes she would travel to their homes and work out there.  It was interesting and fun watching this woman push clients to their limits.   She's the same way with me at home.  Our workouts together are hard and the results are amazing.  Even as my sub, her make demeanor helps me to push harder and I love that about her.   Our girlfriend came over for a pool day.  All three of us were at an art festival and we decided not to waste such a beautiful day by cutting it short and hitting the pool for some sunbathing.  My sub was outside with our friend setting things up and I smiled as I watched her through the sliding glass door.  She set up three lounge chairs next to each other but made sure she was in the middle and we were on either side of her.   She does this because she doesn't want our friend too close to me when we sunbathe.  Again, that make energy protecting me from any potential glances or touching.  As a gay woman who chose me as her soulmate I allow her this behavior.  As her dominant, I encourage her jealous nature.  It'll come handy one day.  
What I chuckle about as a writer who happens to be a Dominant Sadist Woman is, when non-kinksters agree to be beta readers. Where I am doing a secret smile based on the word "beta" and what it's double meaning means to me. The "beta bitch" for my live-in-Property in particular when I am teasing them. There are times when I drop the word beta and instead ask for "readers." As fellow writers are aware what I seek or offer when mentioning reading another's unpublished complete work to polish it before doing a QL.
It has been a while, and a lot has happened. I moved to NY.  Now stuck here due to a contract I signed with my job.  Oh how I miss home.  Soon to be alone again.  Not because of a relationship, but because of other reasons, ask me Ill share no problem.  I now often wonder what kind of spiral that is going to send me into. Such is life I guess.  Work, Karma, work, fur kids, work.... Such is life right now.  Is there a respite out there somewhere?
Hello to the beautiful souls in this lifestyle  i've been away from this site awhile, i seem to have developed, in more ways than one !  Especially my lovely budding breasts i now have growing on me, i accept i am submissive, trans, or sissy if you like.  Two women decided to have me sign up for gender reassignemnt, and now i am pre op and on hormones, and i so love being me now, a kinky hybrid submissive, the only sad thing is, i'm not owned.  boo !  The two ladies moved on after they knew there was no going back for me. Now i'm seeking an Owner who would love to carry on making me be the way i am meant to be, serving them.  i would embrace TPE and accept being a slave too, no say, no control.  i jsut nered to meet that person who'd love doing such to me.. Don't be shy,,say Hi 
I used to think hrt pellets was not really viable  I think they are a brilliant tool for forced feminisation if there is to be no games.    I used AI to inform me, us. It’s also given Master some serious ‘weapons’    Pallets  offer several advantages over patches or injections for MtF hormone therapy, providing steady hormone release for 3-6 months with minimal daily effort.[medicalnewstoday +2] Steady Delivery Pellets dissolve gradually under the skin, delivering consistent estradiol levels directly into the bloodstream without the peaks/troughs of injections (which fluctuate weekly) or patches (which can detach or vary with skin absorption).     This mimics natural hormone production, potentially leading to smoother feminizing effaspects like fat redistribution and mood stability.[alluremedical +3] Convenience and Compliance  No daily patches to apply/change or weekly/biweekly injections— just a quick in-office insertion every few months, improving adherence for long-term therapy. Users often report preferring pellets for this set-it-and-forget-it approach over messier gels or adhesive issues with patches.[queerdoc +2]  Additional Benefits Bypasses liver processing (unlike pills), may enhance energy, libido, and bone protection with fewer applications overall. Note: Pellets are often compounded (off-label for estrogen HRT), so monitor levels with a specialist.   One key advantage of estrogen pellets is that once implanted, they continuously release hormones without interruption, essentially putting feminizing effaspects on “auto pilot.”    This means the therapy works steadily and reliably without daily effort or forgetting doses. Even if you wanted to stop temporarily, the hormone release will continue until the pellet naturally dissolves over months, ensuring consistent feminization throughout that period. This steady, long-term commitment can bring peace of mind for those seeking a smooth, hands-off approach to hormone therapy.   Over the first 6 months after estrogen pellet insertion in MtF hormone therapy, feminizing changes unfold gradually as the pellet releases hormones steadily (about 1/3 in month 1, tapering over time).[pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih +1] Months 1-3 Skin softens and becomes less oily within 3-6 weeks; breast buds/tenderness emerge by 2-6 weeks. Emotional shifts, reduced erections/ejaculation, decreased libido, and subtle mood improvements often start in 1-3 months, with early fat redistribution to hips/thighs.[transcare.ucsf +2]  Months 4-6 Breast growth continues (typically A-small B cup max for post-puberty starters); muscle mass decreases for a softer appearance; testicular atrophy and slower body/facial hair growth become noticeable. Monitor blood levels at 4-6 weeks for adjustments, as full early effaspects peak by month 6.     Using a chastity device alongside estrogen pellets in MtF HRT could accelerate permanent erectile dysfunction (ED) outcomes by preventing erections, leading to faster penile disuse atrophy and fibrosis from lack of blood flow and tissue oxygenation.[cagechastity +1] Mechanism HRT already reduces spontaneous erections; a well-fitted chastity cage b
Took all the time to write this so I thought I'd save it here.     Two explorer's are deep in Africa when they are captured by head hunters.  The head hunters bind them each to a pole and carry them for 3 days over hills across a river and through the forest where they finally come to the village.   At the village they are untied and thrown into a cage.  That night the villagers throw a massive party where they feast drink alcohol and dance.     At the height of the festivities the Chief calls for silence and approaches the cage.  Our two explorers see this huge guy standing about 6' 8" tall approach them and they begin to quake.   The Chief points at our first explorer with his big hammock like hands and yells in this deep voice that carries to all ends of the village.   "You! Death or RooRoo?   The first explorer squeaks out " I don't want to die, I'll take RooRoo!"   The Chief turns back to the village and yells "ROOROO!!!"   The tribe goes insane with cheering dancing and drinking and our explorer is pulled from the cage stripped and thrown face down over a log and every man in the village jumps his bones.   The Chief then stomps back to the cage and points at the other explorer.   "You!!  Death or RooRoo?"   The explorer with a look of fear on his face yells back.  "Screw that Rooroo deal I choose death!"   The Chief turns around raising one  raising one massive paw and pronounces the sentence.   "DEATH BY ROOROO!!!"   And the crowd goes wild!  
If you are talking to me and I stop messaging you unless I've blocked you I still will talk to you please keep in mind that I am not one of the whores here that charge money to talk to people I do not do paid for by the hour sessions so people actually talk to me a lot and sometimes it's overwhelming and I can't keep up with all of you guys if you're salty about it get over it and just write me another message it's a lot to keep up with everybody especially when people just want to talk unless you're going to be a person of action it probably will fizzle out lots of people just want to talk talk talk but I have met people here around me in person and have had people come to meet me two of which recently have stood me up don't be that person don't stand me up and talk to me in earnest
"I once has a slave or should I say they once had me?"  You/you can say all the negative stuff about this site and most of it is true, except that there are many real people here. I've met a few and been amazed by just who does lurk behind these profiles. "Some are freaking scary and some are friends." Im looking forward to the holidays. I love Thanksgiving and Christmas or at least cooking the dinners . My favorite time to go wild in the kitchen. And 
Dom Top vs Sub Bottom: Understanding BDSM Role Dynamics In BDSM and kink dynamics, two sets of terms frequently get mixed up: top vs bottom and dom vs sub. Although they often overlap, they actually describe very different aspaspects of a scene. Understanding the distinction between physical roles and power roles is essential for clear communication, negotiation, and consent. Top vs Bottom – Physical Roles “Top” and “bottom” describe what each person physically does during a scene. The top is the person performing the action — tying, spanking, stimulating, penetrating, or delivering sensation. They are the active participant. The bottom is the one receiving those actions or sensations — being tied, spanked, stimulated, or penetrated. These terms define action, not authority. A top may be physically active while following instructions, and a bottom may be physically passive yet maintain control over what happens. People often switch between these roles depending on mood, partner, or scene, which is why “switch” or “versatile” is a common identity in the kink community. Dom vs Sub – Power Roles “Dom” (dominant) and “sub” (submissive) refer to control and authority within a dynamic. The dominant holds power, gives directions, makes decisions, and leads the structure of the scene or relationship. Their role is rooted in authority, not necessarily physical activity.
  • Adding to the House of M - Our search for a slaveThe House of M is looking for a slave.We’re going to be picky, very picky. We will take out time in this search to find the right one at the right time for us. And because of that, we recognize this search will take some time.Our House and more specifically, our dynamic is built on communication, trust, honesty, intelligence, friendship and deep respect for each other. Those who are a part of it, are individuals that recognize that connection and relationship must exist in both the lifestyle as well as in the vanilla world to develop the kind of bonds that are required to create the richness we desire. We want one who will care a deeply about us as we will about them and share our values. We place a high value on intelligence, the mental aspaspects of the lifestyle, caring about each other, loyalty, seriousness in and about ones roles, as well as the ability to have fun and be let loose when the time is right.We seek a bi M masochistic slave (under 45), smooth with at least a slightly feminine appearance who is height weight-proportional. One who craves to serve and derives fulfillment from the act of giving themself to us. A slave who knows that their proper place is at a Master's feet, serving whenever, however, and whatever Master requires. Our vision is that my babygirl and I will both Dominate this slave equally as their Master. Not live-in, but possible in the future as part of this long-term dynamic. While there should be NO expectation for sexual use from either of us, they should be ready and eager to serve both of us in any way we choose. Our current needs include domestic, sexual and masochistic service, but know that as we intend for this to be a long time ownership, these needs will evolve and grow. We hope to find one who craves degradation, humiliation, objectification, and belonging, with limits that align with our own (see our profiles).For those who wish to explore becoming part of our House, write us and we can begin a conversation about it, but be patient, be respectful, come ready to show us who you truly are and most of all be patient. Take this time to get to know us as we get to know you.We are worth it - I promise you
  • Met someone from this site and I will admit I really like this person but saw a couple of red flags. It felt nice being sexually open about my fetishes and kinks and not feeling judged. It felt nice kissing on a bruised looking old sofa that is destined for a council bulk waste collection. It felt good all over, there is a but coming.  Why are some men so reckless with protection. To avoid my own recklessness I choose to keep to myself for years, just because I want an open relationship does not mean I want to start being reckless. Taken a step back on this play buddy and considering my options, either keep to myself again or try again with someone new.
    For a site supposedly so mindful of bigotry and/or transphobia (to the point that profiles languish in Purgatory to be "approved" for things as simple as updating your age), it really annoys me that in the "Seeking" section of your profile, "Switch Transgender" is not an option. And it's never been an option.  Apparently it's impossible to be a switch if you're trans.  Or, perhaps it's impossible to be trans if you're a switch.  How frustrating.  Paying lip service to these rather important concepts without even doing something as simple as acknowledging people who are switches, but who may not be cis, feels obnoxious, possibly like it's not much more than mere virtue signaling.  Good luck if someone is NB.  No, we certainly don't need more sites overrun with transphobia, but as such, yes, we do need to actually fully embrace all the options that are available to cis people being available to trans people on a site with so few options, anyway.  And maybe even work on updating that for NB people, too.  I'd love for the energy that's put into profile approval (especially when you're just updating things in provided dropdown menus, anyway) to be put into those basic updates in 2022 instead.  I know CS, as a whole, updates slowly (if at all), but that would still be lovely for a site that claims to be mindful of bigotry.  Sometimes bigotry isn't just what you say, sometimes it's also what you don't say.
    Know your medium. The way you interact on email is different from an instant message program is different from a chat room.   Know your target. If you are emailing someone who has a three sentence minimum and a mile long profile, reconsider emailing "Hi! I see you're online tonight."   Just because I don't exchange emails like IMs doesn't mean I'm not interested. But that you are unwilling or unable to compose a longer message might very well mean I am not interested.
    I am so lucky to belong to my wife! Last time that she invited me to have sex she handed me my favorite plug, a medium size latex spade that is very comfortable. She pulled out her lash but unfortunately she did not hit me hard with it. As always i had to lick her pussy for a while, using my finger to caress the vagina simultaneously to licking the clitoris. When she had enough i inserted my dick very gently and started the usual program, that is inserting only the cock 8 times and deeper the 9th. Repeat for a few minutes while licking her tits. She loves that , and i love to please her. I d love to be tortured during sex but that is too exciting for me and makes me cum too fast to please her well. After the cock thing, she was already ready to cum so she came on top. I always must grab her breast with my both hands and lick her tits while she rides me. I love it when she tells me "lick, doggy". Again, i must admit that it is bad to please me as i could not control my cum any further.  I was already enjoying so much witnessing her pleasure and feeling that nice plug in my butt. I m so kinky... then she came to her orgasm sqeezing my tits between her fingers and i was able to cum in her pussy after that. I always have to hurry to unload before she turns me away. I love her so much. Too bad she does not take me yet a gull slave. I love her so much. Married for 5 years. Know her for 14 years. Oh darling please take me at your service. I'd love so much thst you rape me again like the time when you fucked me with that big strapon and you pissed in my mouth and shouted "swallow"! I know it will be though but i cant stop thinking about that. Rape me again, please let me show you what i am ready to do , please break me and help to improve and become how you want me.
     AcadaMay She's Royal CFNM Ladies Tea Party - Saturday April 12th You may contact me here to reserve your place. Most alternative events objectify women, but there is one particular event that reverses the rôles. This is the Clothed Female, Naked Male party. CFNM by definition gives the power back!  Ladies of elegance and sophistication are cordially invited to take the opportunity to mingle with their peers whilst sipping their wine and enjoying the entertainment. Come & join the the AcadaMay CFNM Ladies' Tea Party every month for an afternoon of tea & wine with lashings of decadence. All whilst being served by underlings who will be there solely to serve and cater to our every whim. You will never want to go to a vanilla tea party again! Ladies, this is your chance to be served by men and objectify them. CFNM includes activities that are not particularly oriented towards female dominance and superiority, but a modicum of humiliation and punishment to the nude men not behaving according to protocol would be expected, nay, encouraged! Gentlemen, this is your chance to parade yourself in an elegant social setting, to have the opportunity to serve and make yourself compliant to the request of any lady present without demur or backchat. If you wish to have this experience, come and join the ladies for an afternoon of CFNM.  
    Ok I tried. I really really tried to go full on vanilla. I turned off everything. I deleted it all. I was serious. As soon as I was done the very next day I sank so far into depression. I really do hate my life. Why do I need this? Why can't I turn it off and be normal? Right now crying because there's not some man telling you what to do? Pathetic. Weak. How can I call myself a strong black woman? I'm pitiful and I can't even look at myself any more.  So why are you back then?  Like I said I'm pitiful. An ex-potential Master reached out that same next day. After 4 or 5 years ...he was like i missed you, still had your number blah blah blah and I bounced back. I do not think he is a Master but a very dark aggressive dominant vanilla man. He knows nothing of limits, protocols, needs and he blows past my limits all the time hence why I didn't submit to him before. I know I know I'm desperate. My kinks is force and control so though I know what he's doing is detrimental I also get off on my wants, and kinks being ignored for his pleasure.. OMG just the thought is making me wet and driving that insane need that's in me... Gawd I hate that feeling... No I love it, crave it but I hate that I have it ... That need that feeling ...if that makes sense. Gawd, I wish I was normal.  So I'm kinda back. The ex-potential and I will meet this Saturday so at least for a week I'm semi normal until I realize he can't be my Master and then I'll sink back into depression and wanting to end... Anyways I really do hate me. I wish there was a way to stop it. To go back to vanilla to be normal to... To... Anything is better than this   I rather seriously just end it all then continue having this need that can't be fulfilled .... I hate that my mental health is based off ownership... I hate that I went from crying and being in the dark to just happy because some guy said he MIGHT own me .. I hate how pathetic I am... I hate how weak I am .. I hate how my mind has all this taboo, gross, dark stuff... I hate me. I hate my life. If there was an easy non painful way for me to end it all I would have done that years ago.    I hate this feeling.  I hate this need.  I hate this craving.  I hate me. 
    I think as time passes and I get older, I gain a clearer perspective on what I want and need in life. I am less likely to put up with what I perceive as injustice. I don't waste my time with people who like to  play head games.  I seek out others who want to grasp life by the reins and ride it out at a breakneck speed, crashing through and having an awesome and amazing ride with me. Sure, we will get some bumps, bruises, and scratches along the way. May even have some kick as scars, but oh the stories we will tell! 
    Japan has been an interesting getaway.  I really am too fussy of an eater to really appreciate the culinary experience here.  Most of the ramen offerings will be pork related and that annoys me.  I did find a wagyu ramen last night but it was a bit underwhelming. The shopping is probably the highlight of the trip.  More specifically the boutique stores with streetwear like Supreme, Undefeated, Atmos, etc.  Unfortunately I did not find the BDSM scene while here. Oh,  Universal Studios was fun. 
    So, I removed an old picture and I added one.  That's a risky thing to do on this site. I have no idea how long it will be before my profile is back up and its just ridiculous!  Also the anti robot feature doesn't work sometimes and I've lost long messages when I tried to sent them. Is this anti robot thing even necessary?  I miss the old site when it was collarme  I hope who ever runs this will improve this site because I think it needs an overhaul!    What a pain in the ass and not the good kind! Lol
    First Impressions After I posted about being stood up for my first meet-and-greet / coffee date in years, a few folks seemed to question my lack of anger, or at least my sort of perky take on it.   Let me explain. There’s a saying, “No answer is still an answer.”    A first meeting, like a coffee date, is a first impression. Being a no-show without announcing one is bailing before the scheduled time is … significant. It can indicate a lot of things: a tendency to make bad choices poor time management skills  bad luck streak passive-aggressive tendencies  tolerance testing This last one is particularly significant. Last week was not the first time someone ghosted me and then promptly started asking for a 2ⁿᵈ chance. Complying would have set a precedent: how many times can someone test my patience, fail to keep up their end of a deal before I walk?   The guy could’ve written me earlier, he could’ve taken a ride share. He did neither.   He told me that he was currently experiencing a bad turn in his life. Okay, but why decide to drag a new person into that? Misery loves company?   I showed up, and as a quirk of timing gave him slightly longer than the 15 minutes I’d originally allotted for him to show or at least communicate. I did my part, and thus I have nothing to prove.    If this was a test of his, I’m fine with failing. I racked up some serious points that day. 
    Hello to the Newbies, Lifers, Kinksters, and PowerPlay People, This was my favorite place to blog.  When it was bought and they made it hard to post in your profile and changes required a wait to be approved, which went on for part of a year, I left. My life has been moving and doing since I was last on here often posting my thoughts.  I still have saved the oiriginal posts I put in my profile.   Some of it was some interesting shit I don't want to rewrite for a podcast or a book. We are all here to be open, open on the inside and with many hiding their outside with masks and fetish wear..lmao  but open still.  Wide open aren't you, you cumsluts. To the Men who are just kinksters and here for sex primarily, most of you don't interest me in the least.   I am born a naturally Dominant/Alpha and even in my vanilla life I am the one in charge.  Period.  If you are not able to submit without worrying about sex and orgasms, if you need to act up to be punished, you are not of interest to me.   My interests include spending a LOT of my time painting, writing and getting an art business up and running so I am independant and no longer on SSI after breast cancer.   One of the things I dealt with in my time away from here. I am a computer geek, with two pitbulls, art supplies for several businesses, and I am home with a great garden and mobile home spot I will sell in a few years.  Someone who wants to create art or go tech and work on websites, social media for stores, etc. or a good dog person, house cleaner who has a great vocabulary fits my lifestyle.  Lots of free time to learn and improve your own life is a good fit as well. My life has included fantastic sex, better than yours in most cases.  I prefer to wait to have a superior time than fuck someone not worth a dime.   I am getting shit fixed in my life before I care about a sex partner.    My sex type is not the same as my companion type, unless you are a computer geek with a great smile, abs, ass and eyes....lmao    Let life roll and have fun, Lola the Iron Mistress
    Dominus Mea SacramentumMente, cordis, et CorpusServitium cum HonorePraeceptum est mi
    Early Christmas Present - December 23, 2023Horny bi guy came over. And oh my gosh, he was horny as usual. When he first arrived he came through the door and stripped naked for me. I immediately put a collar around his neck, and velcro wrist restraints on his wrists.I recently purchased a larger size ball stretching weight, because the 35 mm did not fit him on previous attempts. Well, we found out the 45 mm did not fit him either. I think part of it was it was cold outside and because he was just arriving and stripping naked first thing, he was still a bit cold, and his balls were sucked up against his body. I'll bet if we had tried again later we might have made it. Instead we put a cock cage on him. It took a few attempts to get the cock cage on his already hardening cock, but soon his cock was caged.I laid back on the couch a bit and beckoned his mouth over to my cock. He immediately dropped to his knees and started sucking on my cock. I wasn't being too forceful immediately, I wanted his throat to acclimate to the feeling of my cock wedged down his throat. But that didn't prevent me from grabbing him by the back of the head and pushing him down on my cock until he was gagging.He wanted another super deep enema. The last time he visited and I gave him a super deep enema it took us nearly 45 minutes, which is common, but he had a lot of cramping and later told me he never wanted to have a deep enema again. But now he was asking for a deep enema again. Against my better judgment we start the procedure.He came into the bathroom and immediately assumed the position. Down on all fours with his ass sticking up in the air. I lube my finger with a bit of Vaseline and slide it up and down the crack of his ass. He moans at my touch. The bathroom sink water is running requesting warm water from the hot water tank in the basement. That takes a few minutes for the warm water to arrive so I continue playing with his ass as we wait. Eventually the warm water arrives and I fill up the old fashioned enema bag as full as I can get it. I asked him again if he's sure he wants a deep enema reminding him how he didn't like it last time. But the need for being used and humiliated overtakes the memory of the agony of the last enema and he forgets that he doesn't want another deep enema. And he tells me to proceed with the deep deep enema.I shove the plastic tube connected to the hose coming from the rubber bag into his tight hole. I push it far in his ass, farther than required, because I know we're going deep. I push down on the bag as it lays on the bathroom countertop, forcing the first burst of warm water into his ass. His ass is reluctant to take the water at first but as I continue to push against the bag eventually the pressure overpowers his bowels and the water starts to flow.Although I thought I had removed all the air from the bag, I hear the gurgle and burp of air as it passes through the tube into his ass. As I continue pushing down on the bag, he begins that familiar moan as I push more and more water into his ass. Much more than necessary, I empty the bag into his ass. He's whimpering in pain and I'm laughing about it. CONTINUE READING AT   www.SirKel.top 
    In a perfect world, He would be someone who might not have even thought about a non-cis "gurl", but He would definitely be tired of all the headaches He has experienced dating real women. From periods to mood swings to "not being in the mood" or taking 50% of their life when they left...whatever it is. Hoping He would want a fresh start with someone who WANTS to be sexy in dress and actions, someone who wants Him inside her all the time, someone who wants to papmper HIM, feed Him, care for Him. But, there is His "other" side too...and it needs to be fed and nourished. So "she" would be His blank canvas for whatever kink He wanted to try, now and down the road as the years pass.  All the time, progressing more and more into a female form and making Him never regret His decision.  
    It was a typical Saturday morning. The normal routine of getting showered clothed and ready for a morning date with “A” at the local coffee shop. The brisk cooler weather was a welcoming site after the warmer summer we had. The bustling streets seemed more packed than normal. “A” smiled as we walked along the narrow streets and windows of the shops. The vibrant colors of the latest fall fashions luring us into each store. Pretty tops and long flowing dresses and skirts. “A” took my hand and with a big smile led me into the packed store. Making small talk as she danced around each display finger tips dancing across the fabric. Making jokes and comments with her to pick all ready through the door. “A” finally opened the door peer her head out and looking to the sides to make sure no one was watching.

    My limits are no children or animals involved in sexual or kink activities, no blood or scat, no injury or lasting harm, nothing unhealthy or illegal, or nothing offensive to the innocent public, no online relationships, no drugs or alcohol for me, no bondage before developing a trusting bond, and no pictures or videos with my face or voice. My love language is personal touch, so I wouldn’t wish to be in a relationship that wasn’t full of lots of hugs, kisses, cuddling, massages, and intimacy.
    Master's WritingsSubmission, as I see itSubmission comes in many forms and on my journey different subs have approached it from different angles. Some see it as service, some as opening themselves up to another, and some even see it as a rejection of the world with it demands and requirements. Over the years, I have trained several submissives to reach greater depth in their submission and I’ve tried to work within their mindset, helping each to reach their potential in a way that is honest, true, and unique.At its core, submission is and should be a genuine reflection of an individual’s inner truth. A sense of their own purpose and way of life they choose to accept. It comes from a place within each submissive that reflaspaspects their own nature, and their most authentic expression of self.The nature of any true “submissive training” should and must be focused on helping the submissive connect with their nature, create the pathways to more fully access their own unique form of submission, and then finally build on that to blend it into their daily life. All the tasks and sexual acts, the “yes Sirs” and downward glances of respect, mean nothing and are worthless self-indulgent Dominant games, if the goal of these acts are not designed to deepen a submissives connection to their own beautiful, natural, and authentic submissive self.Submission is a gift. This single phrase bears repeating, because it is so very true and frequently overlooked - Submission is a gift. When fully developed, submission is a powerful and sometimes spiritually beautiful thing to behold. It is never to be taken, coerced, or forced. It is not for role play or pretend, Of course one could act like a submissive as if putting on a costume, but not with me as their Dominant. I hols submission, true submission in the highest regard. And to pretend to be one only cheapens the gift of those who truly feel its calling.As a Dominant, I see my role as helping others in any way I can on their journey, as their guide, nurturer, and mentor.
    A new entry is long overdue, so I'm glad they have finally brought back the journal feature. So... why am I still here if I'm not actively looking for a sub right now? Well, I've gone through many periods where I simply have too much going on or get frustrated or simply lack the desire for sessions. But it always comes back around. And there are a few people around here I converse with, so that's also why I keep my profile active instead of hiding it. But keep in mind that this doesn't mean I want to hear from anyone who hopes I'll keep them in mind for when I do want to meet subs again. I'm not keeping a list and I delete the majority of messages I receive. 
    Tonight's top email -  "You know your getting rid of 55 to 60 of potential contacts by restriction in your second paragraph?" Well, first of all  - "you're." A contraction of "you" and "are."  Kinda tells me a lot right there. I wrote back and responded to what I thought he meant. But no. "Dimina its the political restrictions that throw out 55 60 of the potentials in line" Then second, it's not "Dimina" and third, its not the second paragraph. It's the 4th and 5th sentence. Further clarifies the kind of person writing. So I responded to THAT. "If the political restrictions are the problem, then they arent actually potentials. They would be incompatible with me on many deep levels, and compatibility is the most important thing to me. The fact that they might not consider it an incompatibility, and would want to approach anyway, just further illustrates the basic incompatibility. The bottom line is this it doesnt matter what someones kinks are, how much money they make, etc.  If I cant respect them as people, I dont want to be around them in any capacity. If I cant respect them as people, then I ABSOLUTELY dont want to have to spend the kind of time with them that is required for kink, intimacy, or a relationship of any kind. Its not politics. Its a basic test of character, intelligence and humanity. No one on that side of the table is going to meet my requirements in those areas. Or, to put it in the simplest terms if someone is in the same crowd as the  self- proclaimed Nazis and isnt leaving, I dont want to know them." Let me try to explain something here - If "liberal politics" is a hard limit, maybe don't contact people for whom fascism, libertarianism, and Drump are hard limits. Seems pretty straightforward to me. I mean, isn't a profile for finding common interests and weeding out incompatibilities? Contacting someone who you KNOW isn't interested in you, and who you know has qualities you aren't interested in, to complain that their hard limits keep you from approaching?  Whining is really unattractive, guys. Then again, maybe he WANTED to be humiliated.  So... merry christmas, random complainy dude?
    I just read a profile in which a woman made the delineation between someone who is abusive and someone who is "dominant".    I eschew her findings.    First, she bases these items on personal experience, yet she fails to cite specifics.    Her vast experience is hollow, friends.   I do not want anyone ever abused, but, I have observed relationships that I would find abusive that seem to work for both parties.   I would state that if the relationship works, it works.  If it doesn't work both parties need to extract themselves.   I have found myself in those, too.
    I understand trolls have their role in this world. Both online and in real life if that’s what you believe. I’ve placed enough warnings that if your trolls stay away. If you’re dumb enough to approach me, I’m gonna rip you apart and I’m gonna feed you your inners. This is my final warning. I’m done with people being fake and breaking promises just like everybody else else’s. But I’ve decided to stand up and fight for my right to live. The prey has become the predator so fuck you. maybe this is help trolls hear me roar !!!!
    A little poetry?  Sure, why not.   In realms where love unfolds its gentle sway, A man finds bliss in night and sunlit day. Within the dance of hearts, a truth revealed, In female-led embrace, his joy's congealed.   Beneath her gaze, a beacon burning bright, He revels in the tender, guiding light. Her strength, a fortress that he gladly seeks, In every whispered word, the solace speaks.   No tyranny, but harmony they find, A partnership where hearts and souls entwined. He cherishes the power she bestows, A union blossoms, like a fragrant rose.   Her laughter, like a melody divine, Resounds within his heart, a sweet design. Together, they traverse life's winding road, In tandem, love's enchanting episode.   She leads with grace, a compass sure and true, He finds his purpose in her eyes of blue. Her wisdom shapes their journey through the years, A symphony of joy, dispelling fears.   He revels in the kindness she bestows, Her love, a river, steadily it flows. He willingly surrenders to her care, In tender moments, love is everywhere.   No shackles bind, but freedoms they unfold, In her embrace, a sanctuary bold. A partnership where balance finds its place, He celebrates the joys of her embrace.   In shared delight, their spirits intertwined, He savors every moment, love defined. A male perspective on this blessed path, In her-led love, he finds eternal warmth.  
    The Flood It looked like the devil was right. God finally regretted making humans because of all the wickedness upon the earth in Noah's days. He decided he was going to end the world. The devil seemed to be right, humans were bad. However someone caught his attention. Noah. The only one righteous on the earth in the face of all the wickedness. The only one left calling on God and teaching his family to do the same. God couldn't destroy him. So he would save him and his family and some animals and restart. Hopefully the faith of Noah and his family in God could be taught to the generations that would come after him and through him. God hurting for what creation had become flooded the earth. Saving Noah and his family in the Ark. God told Noah he would never destroy the world with a flood again. It was a tough decision for God but he did what was right. Enough was enough. 
    Long weekends are the worst.  So much time…alone.  I fear I don't do so well left to my own devices once the chores are done.  Last Memorial day weekend I had resolved to take a bit of a break from all of...this.  No stories.  No shaving my body.  No practicing submissive postures.  Focus on the real, stop endlessly daydreaming of submission.   It's been the entire summer now.  I don't feel any better.  I've not suddenly found a partner in life.  I've not been any more or less productive than before.  In fact, today, I'm about out of my mind.  My natural body hair has returned and somehow it makes me feel….dirty.  I miss the way clothing felt against my skin.  I miss the ritual of shaving everything.  Of imagining I was doing it for my Owner.  Of taking some action in the real world that confirmed my nature and my deepest desires.   Will I always be this…stuck?  This alone?  Is there any hope that, one day, I might find someone who will want me for everything I am?  Who can accept this terrible and inescapable desire to kneel?  To be used?
    Hmm...  a journal entry, eh?  Not quite sure what to say here... or even if this thing works.  Let alone if anyone out there will read this.   Let's just start with a basic confession: I love sex, and I like it rough.  I have had fantasies about being raped ever since I a girl.  Of course back then, those fantasies were pretty tame.  Mostly being captured by a villian who would tie me up and keep me in his dungeon where he would, G, try to kiss me!  As I got older the fantasies became...  how say I say it..  more graphic...  The more I think about it, the more I realize that my rape fantasies pretty much follow a basic pattern: I'm out and about...  It's night...  I'm alone...   and I find myself in a bad situation...  and then one or more (usually more) tough looking guys show up and start getting into my person space, then they start trash talking and insulting me, then they start touching me and pushing me around.  Naturally I resist and try to get away, I usually am able to run away for a bit then they catch me again.  after that, they usually rip off all my clothes, hold me down, and have there way with me...  The specific details change, but that's the basic formula...    We'll see who reads this... Catch ya later, subMeghan
    This is a short story i wrote a couple of years ago . . Is your life really that empty? Maybe the best words I have ever spoken Is your life really that empty? That may be the best opening line since ‘.......I was born in 1518 in the village of Glenfinnan on the shores of Loch Shiel. And I am immortal'. In truth maybe not, but these words got me here, pressing keys on my pc’s keyboard about to tell my story. A good opening line, true, although not a good place to start my tale, so, where to begin? Who I am, where I was when I first saw her or the reason I spoke those words? Maybe to ground this thing would be best, I am male, a Dom, a sadist, not rich, not powerful, slightly artistic, getting to be older than I want to be living in a small suburb of a small city in the English Midlands. It was a Tuesday, early afternoon and I was on a coach going to Nottingham to check out an art gallery to see if they would exhibit, or sell, some pieces of my work. Don’t get all excited thinking I am a master painter or sculptor selling pieces for hundreds of thousands of pounds (yes pounds and not dollars) I sell my work for between £100 – 200 if I am lucky enough to find a buyer.Anyway, I first saw the girl, woman, standing on the platform along with others, waiting for our coach to arrive and noticed her because she fell into that style of female I like, slim, simple hair style, makeup tending towards the Goth, in jeans, ankle boots and a soft leather jacket and no handbag – simple pleases me. I am a good and sadistic Dom but I am no good at talking to females I do not know in vanilla situations so I took in her images, filed it under, ‘what a shame’ and then as the coach arrived I entered and walked to the back and sat down only to find she followed and sat in the seat in front of me on the other side of the isle. As we pulled out of the station I saw her take out a book, find her place, about a third of the way through, and begin to read. To say my mental image of her was shattered would be far too extreme but I was so disappointed in her. If she was vanilla it was such a pointless thing to read and if into my ‘lifestyle’ a really sad thing to read and I didn’t know which was worse. I tried to ignore her, and the book, as the minutes ticked by.  I watched houses and trees and cars pass by before we reached the dual carriageway, connecting the two cities, and the coach built up speed. I noticed all other passengers were seated nearer the front leaving at least seven rows of empty seats between us and them and I decided this was the universe telling me to do something – the universe seldom tells me to do things in case you were wondering. I moved across the back seat until I was slightly to her left but still behind her and said in a normal speaking voice, not too loud, not too quiet, “Is your life really that empty?"I accept this could be a very insulting thing to say to anyone especially a stranger on a bus but the words formed and so were spoken. She lifted her head from the book but did not turn around, I could see her face from where I sat and her mouth turned down slightly, not in a frown but in a puzzled thoughtful way and lowering the book to her knees she said, “Why do you say that?" "I am a Dom and a sadist”, I said although not sure why I was so truthful, “I don’t usually tell people as most do not understand.” I paused waiting to see what she would do or say. "I see.” Was all she said, which didn’t give me any sort of clue or guide to what I should do or say next.  "The book does not relate to the real world of BDSM, most of us are so normal we are as boring as vanilla folk.” I saw a smile come to her face at this so continued, “It is only when we play that many of us diverge from the norm, but I suppose the same could be said of golfers or those that go tenpin bowling every week.” She laughed at this; thank god.  "How do you dominate people then, do you do it with men or woman or both?” She did not turn around as she spoke.  "Before I answer that, have you tried anything in a fetish way; are you sub or Domme or both?"  "You would certainly call me vanilla I think. Everyone is reading the book so I thought I would too.” She paused for a heartbeat and then said, “I am not sure if I would like to submit to a man, I think I might giggle too much if I had to call someone Sir or Master."  "There is much rubbish talked about BDSM, you do not need to call him Sir if that is not what you want, I have little interest in a female calling me Sir unless it comes naturally to her at a time that seems correct to use it.  "BDSM is like real life, it is not a video game, it merely has a few given rules that vary as much as any vanilla couple’s rules vary, that and blindfolds and restraints obviously"  "Something else I would not like until I trusted him enough.” She said and added “How to you write a contract?"  "I am a sadist, I like a little fear in my play, if you trusted me, or knew me too well, could you really be scared of me? I thought this was a statement too far and wondered if I was trying to sabotage this conversation. “There is even more bullshit talked about contracts.  No contract is needed by 999 out of a 1000 couples. “I say ‘do you want to play’? You answer ‘I am new to this’, I say, ‘understood’. What more needs saying?"  I watched her face, and saw a small frown crease her brow, “Remember, you have the power to stop whatever is happening by simply saying a single word, it is easier to stop what is happening in a BDSM encounter than, say, trying to get rid of some half drunk moron in a nightclub who is likely not to take no for an answer. If I do something you do not like, it ends and the play stops, it is in the skill of the Dominant one to not make you say that word."  "I don’t understand,” she said, ”if you are dominant how could I stop you doing what you want especially if I am blindfolded or tied up?"  "Blindfolded, AND tied up” I said with a smile, “I said before, BDSM is real life, if you say the stop word and the dominant one continues that is assault, or as close to it as make no difference, BDSM does not give anyone the right to, umm, go too far."  The coach stopped and two elderly couples boarded and I watch with not a little ‘fear’ as they decided where to sit, the universe was still on my side and they sat side by side 5 rows in front of the girl.  We were well passed half way to the city and I didn’t know where the girl was going, the University of Nottingham Campus would be reached in 5 minutes or so and she could easily be a student there. So as the coach moved on I said.  "It is much easier to show you, show someone I mean, what happens in BDSM play than to describe it, just like if you were going on a first date in the vanilla world you go on it and see how things progress”.  She sat for a second and then put the book back in her pocket, “Thanks for the chat but I have to get off in a couple minutes."  "Ok, I don’t usually talk like this on buses with cute females I don’t know so thank you for not running away screaming.”  I reached into my pocket and took out my business card, “I am a body piercer so I have a card, if you are bored give me a ring and maybe I can answer some more questions or, if your curiosity gets stronger, I can show you my Domly skills.” I reached forward and placed the card on her left thigh, gently pressing the card down, before taking my hand away.  She looked at it before picking it up and putting it in her pocket, so I said “I have a normal house on a normal street, although I do have a play room of sorts with some interesting things to play on and with, so if you visit you do not have to walk though a dark wood to a haunted castle."  she took this the way I hoped and laughing said, “That’s a relief, but this is my stop so bye"  "Have fun.” I said as she stood and I was very impressed, not sure why though, that as she got up and walked down the coach she didn’t look back to see who I was.  The coach stopped she got off and I thought I would not see her again and wondered if I should get off too but my commonsense won out and I sat still as we moved off. “One day I will remember to ask a females name” I said to the back of the seat in front of me and again thought ‘what a shame.'  "Good morrow.” Yes, I oft times answer the phone this way. It is Thursday at 7pm and I have been relaxing watching a video on tv.  "Hello.” A female voice replies.  A silence follows which I do not interrupt wondering if this is another recorded message asking if I want to make a personal injury claim or some other tedious drivel. “I thought reality might be better than fiction."  "Ah.” I am a sadist of few words but sometimes one has to be a little helpful, “That is easy to do, come to my home, knock on the door and then enter, all other decisions will be made for you from that point. If you wish things to stop simple say ‘Lucifer’ and I will stop whatever I am doing.  "You do like us to be scared don’t you, I thought we would be discussing what and how, not simply being told to visit."  "When you visit it will be a time of physical interactions, this will not be a time for you to serve me as a slave or for silly things like sitting at my feet waiting for permission to get up or speak."  "Ok, I just come and that’s it, you don’t want to know more about me."  "You are cute, you want to know more about submission and you called me.   That is all I need, I told you before it is for me to play without making you want, or need, to stop me; so all will be found out when you are here."  "When can I come and should I wear something specific?"  "What an entertaining fem you are, if free tonight come at 9 pm or come tomorrow at the same hour. As for clothes, if you wish to please then, as I am a male; heels, hold ups or stockings or bare legs, a thong, g-spring or nothing. Short skirt, not denim (hate denim), shirt with buttons and a skimpy bra or no bra, a coat may be wise as it is somewhat cold out."  "You sound like you have said that before, I will see what I can do and tonight would be best in case I chicken out tomorrow."  I gave her my address and added, “For your safety, and to make you feel a little more relaxed, tell your best friend you are visiting me, say about piercing if that is easier, and tell them you will call when you arrive here too. You will be safe here but it is a wise thing to be careful."  "I will see you tonight then, what should I call you."  "I will be waiting, and for tonight you can call me Demon.” I clicked the end call icon on my mobile and laughed out loud, maybe not such a waste after all.  I never plan what I am going to do with a sub, that way leads to disappointment more times than not, so I sat and watched my video till a suitable time came for me to stop it. I have a small pack of dogs so I sent all of them to their beds and went upstairs to change.  I checked to see that my playroom was ready and laid out my toys on a rack then, with 30minutes to go, had a quick shower and dressed in my Domly garb.  I decided to start the evening off on a high pressure moment, to see how she reacted, so dressed in leather trousers, knee length New Rock boots, vest and full length leather coat, all in black, obviously. To complete the attire I had recently made some leather gloves and a full hood, both with spikes and piercings, and these I put on before going downstairs.  I have a hallway leading from my front door to my kitchen with a turn to the right half way down leading to my staircase. At five to nine I turned out the light in the hall, darkness fell, I turned on the kitchen light, closing the door so only a thin sliver of light could be seen, and bought to life my cd player to beginning playing Metallica’s Black album.  I stood silently at the foot of my stairs, a still, dark shadow in the darkness, calmly wondering if she would come or not.  What a good girl she was, just after the 2nd track, ‘Sad But True’, began there as a double tap on the door.  I clenched my fists as a smile, which could not be stopped, came to my lips when the door opened and closed.  I have a tiled floor and her heels, clicked nicely five times before she appeared looking ahead towards the light in front of her.  I stepped quickly forward making a short, high pitched hiss to encourage her to turn a little towards me. Her head turned and, I am sure, she caught a glimpse of a moving darkness just before my right hand clamped over her mouth and my left arm swung over her shoulder allowing my left hand to grip her right arm, pinning her closely to my body.  "You came.” I whispered in her ear.  Her body was shaking violently and I could feel her breath coming in short, sharp, warm pants against my fingers, “Good girl, now control your breathing and relax a little, I have you safe and sound.” As I said this I used my right hand to brush her hair back over her ear and gently kissed it and, moving my head a little, I bit the lobe with just a little pressure from my teeth.  Even in her present shaken state, or maybe because of it, she let out a deep, long sigh and I felt her weight lean into me as she slumped slightly in my arms. Another gentle kiss on her ear followed by words spoken so softly they were more felt than heard, “Clever girl, pleasure and pain, fear and ecstasy and yours to enjoy or stop with a single word.” It is wise to remind a novice of their safeword I find in case, in the excitement of the new, they forget.  My right hand moved slowly inside her coat, which was of a dark material and almost as long as mine. My fingers slipped between the buttons of her shirt to rest lightly on a shear and half cup bra. Her flesh was very warm as I pushed my index finger under the top of the material and rolled her nipple under it then, drawing back my nail, I scraped over the small budding flesh. Another sweet sigh came to my ears.  I thought one more experience, before going up stairs, so my hand left her breast and moved slowly up to her throat and then, with a strong push, I sent her to thud against the wall and tightened my grip.  In the darkness I saw her eyes open wide as she saw my hooded face for the first time, “Sensations,” I said, “it can be all about sensations.”  “Upstairs, time to show you what the book could not.”  I released her and let her lead the way upstairs and into my playroom, the light was on dimmer so added a little dungeony atmosphere. I touched her shoulder to stop her then walked further into the room and sat on a chair facing her.  “Take off your coat.” I said.  I suppose it might be entertaining, and pleasing, to give a short deion of the girl at this point.  As I mentioned she fell perfectly into what I consider appealing, 5ft 7inchs tall, give or take an inch, a size 8 (I know such things as I sell corsets too) with breasts that fit nicely into my hand. Her hair, this evening, was shoulder length, straight and black with, something like burgundy hints. Her face was perfect, as only teenager’s skin can be, without wrinkles or lines and wearing black eyeliner and dark red lipstick.  As she took off her coat, which was a deep purple, I saw she was wearing a red shirt with full sleeves, a soft cotton skirt of a darker red that came to mid thigh, black fishnets and black, ankle boots, maybe, the same as on the first occasion I saw her.  “Hold-up’s or stockings? I asked, “show, don’t tell”  “You really don’t like small talk.” She said and lifted the hem of her skirt to show the lacy elasticated top of hold-ups.  “In case you do not know what these things are,” I waved my left hand to indicate my play furniture, “That is a St. Andrew’s Cross, a simple why to hold you safely, and securely, when being flogged; many like it this way, Dom and sub.  That is a spanking bench, you can lean against it or kneel on the lower cushion, also a nice height to fuck on. I have a pony, which is easier to show you it use than explain; maybe if you visit again I will let you ride it. And on the wall behind you there are many securing points if the cross is not wanted.”  “Come and kneel between my legs.” I said unzipping my coat and opening my knees.  She did not move and looked a little uneasy, “Be a good girl and come here so I can put some cuffs on your wrists. Now she came forward and knelt down, sitting on her heels and placed her right hand on my thigh.  “A little show of defiance?” I asked and not waiting for an answer I put on a leather restraint.  “These were the first things I ever made when I came to the Life.” She watched me intently with a small smile as I fastened the strap then, when it was done, she gave me her left hand for the other restraint.  “Close your eyes.” I said and once they were shut I said, “Open your legs and put your hands behind your back.” Her skirt rose up and I could see pale skin above the fishnets as she obeyed. I reached down and gently pulled my nails along her inner thigh and then sat back to look at her.  “In a few moments I will use some of my toys on you, I will begin with a soft toy and use it gently but then I will change it and use another type of toy and change again and each change will mean more sensation until it brings pain and maybe ecstasy”  I picked up a blindfold and told her to open her eyes and come closer. Once it covered her pretty blue eyes I told her to give me her hand and to stand up.  “Take off your skirt and give it to me.” She pulled down the zip at her hip and climbed out of the skirt. She wore a thin red g-string which was mostly lace and very seethough.  “Give me your right hand.” She did and I placed it on my left shoulder, “Now give me your right foot so I can add an ankle cuff. “Now your left.” Once the other restraint was on I ran my hand along the underside of her leg, over her hold-ups, across skin and gently touched the g-string with my finger tips.  I lifted her foot off my knee and, standing up, led her back to my flogging wall.  “As this is your first time I will let you keep your arms down by your side, I will still tie them as don’t want you covering yourself, but it is a little more comfortable this way. First though I need to do this.” I unbuttoned her shirt and took it off her compliant body. Her bra matched her g-string, cut low letting half a nipple show above both cups. I lifted out her left breast and sucked hard on her nipple pinching it between thumb and forefinger as I let it fall from my mouth, forcing a gasp of pain, or pleasure, from her lips.  I tied red rope to her left wrist restraint securing her hand about 6 inched from her side then did the same with her right wrist, then, before continuing and because she could no longer see me, I removed my hood and coat. I knelt in front of her and kissed her navel before tying a rope to her left ankle restraint and then her right, forcing her legs almost three feet apart  I sat back on my boot heels and looked at her, chest rising and falling quickly as she breathed in short, shallow breaths, one nipple, very pink, hard rested over the top of red material and moving down to more red material, wet and slick as her body, and mind, responded to stimuli physical and mental.  “This is a suede flogger.” I said beginning to gentle swing it in a figure of eight so that its movement caused a breeze that caressed her skin; goosebumps appeared over her arms.  I took half a step closer and the 18 tails brushed against flesh creating delicate slapping sounds. Downwards over left breast then right breast, from shoulder to nipple then, with a slight change of action, from hip to navel, left then right with not too much force, letting the suede tails move across skin once or twice a second.  I took another half step increasing the speed of my swing and the impact now made a very nice sharp sound. An added bonus, for me anyway, was that her hidden nipple had been forced out by the flogging action and the tails hit each pink morsel on each pass of the flogger.  Her skin was turning pink so I stopped and, discarding my flogger, ran my hands over her gently, creating marks with my nails and feeling the warmth I had created.  I have a very sharp dagger, broad of blade and 12 inches long in my playroom, I unsheathed it and laid the cold blade on her left breast, a nice intake of breath was my reward. I moved the edge across her breasts and under the right strap of her bra. A quick upwards pull and the strap split in two, a reverse journey, with a little more pressure this time, ended in another strap cut through. I reached behind her to unclipped the strap and her head came forward to rest against my neck and I felt a gentle kiss alight there. The clip opened (yes I can do this one handed) and felt the bra fall to the floor.  “More.” Was the single word she breathed against my neck.  “Obviously, little one.” My reply.  3 fingers of my right hand moved up quickly to slap the red material of her g-string, ‘very wet indeed’ I thought as I stepped back and reached for my red and black 36tail flogger.  Now, as the multi tails hit, her muscles twitched and small panted sighs came from her lips. Heavy, thudding hits moved a breast with each contact and made a wonderful sound as they hit her flat stomach, only a couple minutes of this and her skin was red and she was dancing on her toes with each hit  I stopped and dropped the flogger into my play bag and stood still simply looking at her, I had a strong, and strange, urge to untie her and carry her to my bedroom and gently make love to her for she looked so innocent and young tied against my wall. I had an overwhelming desire to ‘comfort, no wrong word, worship her was much closer to the mark.  Her head tilted to the left, as though listening for me, and then said, “Demon: Sir? Is everything alright?”  A slow smile returned to my lips and, stepping forward, slapped down hard on her left breast stinging the fingers of my hand. She cried out in pain and, no doubt, shock and her blind eyes looked down to her hurting flesh as her hand tried to reach up to ease the sensation  "All is just as it should be.” I said, “One more toy and then you can turn around for a time.”  I have two toys I call ‘little and big sister’, little sis is a whip flogger with a jointed tail section joining 8 shortish leather tails to the main body of the whip, very flicky and stingy; perfect for nipples and caressing g-strings with touches of fire.  Following the heavy beat from the music, heard and felt from downstairs, I flicked the tails at her legs, aiming just above her knees and, with a strong wrist action, moved the tails slowly upwards, hitting one leg then the other. I was tempted to aim at that small piece of red material but did not want to risk her stopping the play. I, therefore, moved outwards as I got higher and then continued moving towards her navel and up over her breasts. I was rewarded with many twitches, sighs and seeing her hands clenching and unclenching.  I pushed this play as much as I dared, as I love the way this toy touches nipples with fiery kisses, so I watching her face and body intently, looking for the moment when her strength, courage, tolerance or, god forbid, boredom got the better of her.  She was shaking her head from side to side, facing the heavens her mouth open sucking in air as though drowning, so I slowed my swings and eased off the pressure until finally I stopped.  Throwing the toy in to my bag I put my arms around her and pulled her to me, after a moment I raked my nails down her back – sensation upon sensation without time to recover or relax into a lessened state of awareness  “If you do not want this just says no, other things can still continue.” I said and slipped 2 fingers under her g-string and into her wet, warm cunt.  She almost screamed as she thrust her hips forward on to my hand so, smiling (being a sadist makes me smile a great deal), I thrust my fingers into her letting my palm thud into her clit.  I am a Dom, a sadist and I love to inflict pain but I do not like receiving it, so I had an entertaining decision to make for, as my fingers continued to make her body shake and quiver, her mouth found my shoulder and her teeth found my flesh and she bit me as the orgasm, I knew was coming, racked her body.  I added a finger and speed and as her groaning breaths moved against my skin I almost forgot my tortured flesh until she cried out, releasing her hold on me. As her body danced in uncontrolled spasms while waves of orgasm rippled through her the pain in my shoulder doubled up giving me an incentive to reinforce the speed and strength of my fingers lifting her onto her very toes.  “Oh god, stop please stop, for fuck sake stop, god oh god oh god.” Such sweet words tripped continually from her gasping mouth, and like the good Dom I am, I continued, She had arched her back, a beautiful human sculpture curving from toe tip to crown of head resting on the wall with nipples pointing to the sky,  I bent down and bit into her left nipple, teeth clamping hard, head pulling back and lips clamped to allow me to suck hard and long.  I felt a sudden explosion of hot wetness on my hand and she screamed in one long wild cry, second after second her scream continued  as my fingers and teeth did their work, “Demon, Lord, Sir, please, please stop.” she begged as the scream finally died  I stopped my fingers movement but left them buried inside her, releasing her nipple I supported her weight with my left arm as she straightened up to rest against the wall behind her. My fingers rolled over each other in the warmth of her cunt as I slowly withdrew them.  “Open your mouth”, I said, “You have made a mess on my hand.” This she did and as I placed my fingers close to her lips her tongue came out and eagerly licked them clean of her unexpected reaction. “Good girl.” I said as I watched her clean my hand.  “A slight rest, little one, then we will continue with more toys if you still wish it.” I watched her face hoping she would not want to stop. She said nothing as her breathing slowed. I asked, “Would you like some cold water?” With a slight nod of her head I said, “Stay still while I am gone, it will be only seconds but continue to rest against the wall your legs may not want to obey you if asked to do more than stand still.”  On impulse I gentle kissed her lips, tasting her cunt on them, before leaving to run cold water into a glass, returning I let her sip for a few moments until the glass was almost empty.  I placed my right hand, cold from holding the glass, against her cheek and let it travel over her skin to her shoulder then down her arm to reach the restraint. As I untied the rope I said, “I am not trying to break you, little one, I am not trying to release your hidden goddess or any other such sad drivel, I seek only to let you know yourself, your limits, your desires and allow you the freedom to enjoy and act on them.”  With the last rope untied and kneeling in front of her – I am worshipping again I thought to myself - I ran my hands up her legs and under the thin straps of her g-string and then slowly pulled them down her legs until she obediently lifted her right foot, then her left, to allow me to remove them.  I thought for a second or two, artistic considerations my only concern (sometimes my mind takes little detours) and then, making a decision, I removed her boots, ankle restraints then hold ups making sure my hands travelled slowly down her legs as I did so.  Naked, the first time is always so uniquely special, it is a shame how familiarity can diminish the beautiful sometimes - much too deep – maybe tis the fault of Metallica’s ‘Nothing Else Matters’ which is now playing.  No tattoos, no body piercings, (maybe I can add a piece of jewellery so she will never forget me) a tiny scar above her right knee, cunt, now swollen and pink, clean shaven, her skin red with a few subtle marks remaining from the flogging. Worshipping indeed, it is a good thing she wears a blindfold.  I stand and, taking her hand, pull her away from the wall, “Time to turn around,” I say, “Wait”  I leaned a 10 foot piece of wood, 10 inches wide by 2inches thick, against the flogging wall where she had been standing and then placed her hand on it, “Lean on this, it will hold your weight do not worry. It is best if you rest your head on your hands as this get your arms away from the flogger’s tails”  I caressed her back with my nails, leaving swirlling marks in her skin, “I have 2 toys like the ones you have felt, then others that are more severe, twin tailed straps in leather and rubber and then whips and for your arse I have paddles and a horse crop. You may be surprised how much you will like your back being flogged but I would hate for your front to feel left out”  Resting my weight against the full length of her body, crushing her against the hard wood, I reached around to attach a butterfly clamp to her right nipple and she cried out a little, which was pleasing, as it bit. I attached the other to her left nipple and said, “There is a chain between them, do not pull away from the wood or you will not enjoy the result.”  ‘Big Sister’ is a flogger with 12 plaited, leather tails about 36inch in total length, I stood behind her and, again using the typical figure 8 action, began to touch her skin, very gently to start and at a slow speed too.  Building up speed and strength over a couple of minutes she began to make sweet music of sighs and little cries, the tails hit with delicious sharp sounds of their own as I began to punctuate the pattern of swings by sending much stronger whip like flicks at her arse, which, soon made her tense her muscles in anticipation of the next strike.I laid this toy down and picked up my purple and black Cougar (a longer 12 tail leather cat with 4in leather thongs at each tail end). I began again using this new toy in the same place and in the same pattern but then moved to my left, continuing to hit as I moved.  Once I stood level with her shoulder and about a stride from her I changed the way I used the Cougar. I now brought it down in single strokes, striking from shoulder blade to shoulder blade and moving down her back to her arse using much more strength especially when connecting, horizontally, on her reddening arse cheeks.  I could see her face as I stuck, and with each hit her teeth bit into her bottom lip. I said, continuing to hit, “Your choice, 12 hard strokes to upper back or arse?” she did not reply for a couple of seconds so I added, “And then I will take the clamps of your nipples.”  “Bum” she replied so I hit her hard on her shoulders and said “Bum, what”  “Bum, Sir” she said quickly after a gasp  “I was expecting a ‘please’, but Sir will do.” And then added, “count them as I hit in case I forgot how many and have to start again.”  She did as was told and by the time she got to 12 her voice was shaking as the strikes had gotten harder, “Good girl,“ I said and throwing the Cougar onto my bag I rubbed her back running hands over slight welts in her skin. Standing behind her I kneeded her arse for half a minute to ease the sting and then moved to kneel by her head.  “A new sensation now, what fun this will be.” I could see her face react as she tried to work out what I meant, “Your sweet, poor, tortured nipple hurt when the clamp went on but now is almost bearable. But when I take it off, new blood with rush back in, nerves will awaken and you will have an experience to file away and fear for the next time. Rubbing it will greatly ease the pain but do not rub it until I say you can.”  I held the clamp and because I am a sadist I twisted it first with a gentle tug, she squealed loudly, “Sorry little one, I just wanted to make sure you remember my words.” I pushed and the clamp opens, her nipple sticking to it for a second before coming free.  Her mouth opened and she sucked air in in gasps as the pain returned to her pink flesh, it was still flattened from the clamp’s pressure and I waited for a count of 5 then said, “You may rub it now.”  Quickly her right hand reached under her and he caressed her breast and nipple, a most rewarding sight. I let this go on for a short time still holding the removed clamp.  “Now then, time to repeat this joy. You get a choice.” I released my hold on the removed clamp and it swung down freely to tug gently on her other nipple, another squeal; being a sadist is fun indeed.  “You can give me a reward, for all my kind attention, and rub your nipple straight away or you must count 60 seconds before I let you rub after it comes off.”  In a most sweet and quiet voice she asked, “What reward, Sir?”  I stood and stepped slightly forward so my leather trousers just touched her upper arm.  ”You can open your mouth.”  “I don’t think I can count to 60, Sir, so the reward is wiser.” I noticed she was smiling and as I pulled down my zip I said, “I must be doing something wrong if you are still smiling. Open.”  I slipped my prick into her hot mouth and, leaning over her, put my left hand between her shoulder blades ready to release the remaining clamp. I closed my eyes as her head began to move and I felt her suck and bite on my, most entertained, cock. “Let me know when you want the clamp off and I will quickly remove it for you to ease the pain”.  Her left hand had found its way between my legs and was holding my left thigh, gently pulling me towards her in time with her head movements. Her right hand she lifted and laid, palm up, on her back, I thought, so I had easy access to the remaining clamp.  After a very pleasing minute or two she took her mouth off me and said ‘now’ and returned to my ‘reward’. Reaching over I pressed in the clamp and pulled it off dropping them to the floor. I heard, and felt on my prick, her squeal as she sucked harder on me taking my prick to the back of her throat, her left hand pulling me in and holding me there though her right hand did not leave her back.  Her squeal became a mauling sound as her body began to shiver and only after about 30 seconds did her right hand finally move and I saw her massaging her right breast. I may be a Dom and a sadist but this sight, with this ‘attention, was too much (I am a male after all) so I pulled myself from her mouth and looked at the ceiling for a few seconds. This only just did its purpose as once my prick was out of her mouth the sounds she then made, as her orgasm came and diminished, could have deflowered a priest.  Fighting an almost overpowering desire to put my prick back in to her, anywhere in her, I finally put it back in my trousers and pulled up my zip – will power, such a pain in the arse at times.  I went to my bag and found my leg spreader, a 10mm bar of mild steel I had fashioned a few years before in the heat of a furnace - not unlike the forging of a new submissive I thought to myself. I found myself kneeling at her feet again as I replaced her ankle restraints and then secured these to the spreader bar, forcing her legs 30 inches apart. I made the mistake of looking up, and the sight of her open and inviting cunt almost made me change my mind about where I had put my prick.  There is a metal securing bolt at the top of the plank of wood so moving to stand by her head I took her hands and tied them to it so she was stretched along the wood’s length.  “The toys from now on will be much more intense?” I said. “I will use each for a minute or so but with each change they will get a little harsher. You already have pretty marks on your skin but these toys will leave better ones that will last for a few days, shall I begin?”  “Yes, My Demon.” she whispered and I saw her grip the ropes that tied her hands.  I take a red and black leather flog with twin, 8 inch, tails and began it strike her back, moving around her, watching her muscles twitch as the stinging leather hit, from neck to arse, leaving growing welts on her skin.  I hit with a constant strength as I moved from her left side to her right and back again until I was back at my starting position where I took a step closer to her and, reaching, sent the tails around her ribs to contact with her softly hanging breast. Her back arched and she screamed in a short feral explosion.  I dropped the flogger and, as she clenched her teeth, grabbed the hurt breast and squeezed it in my fist, “If you are expecting one thing the unexpected is so much better.” I said changing my hold on her flesh and rolling the nipple between thumb and finger.  I saw a tear appear under her blindfold so asked, “Do I continue, you remember the word to end this?”  I could see her think and then she said, “I remember but I don’t know, I think, I think I want to say stop.”  “ok, I will continue with a different sensation, use the word when you know you are sure about ending things.”  I untied her hands, along with one end of the spreader bar then said, helping her stand up, “I just need you to turn around and lay back on the wood.”  She was a little shaky as she stood so putting my arm around her I held her tight. As I did this her head lifted up so I kissed her and was pleasantly surprised as her tongue forced its way into my mouth. The kiss continued and my hand found its way between her legs and a single finger entered her gently slipping in and out as she lifted her left leg to give me easier excess.  “Enough.” I said removing my finger and mouth from her body, I helped her back onto the sloping wood and again tied her hands high above her head, to the securing bolt, I then secured the spreader bar between the ankle restraints under the wood. The bar has a loop at midpoint and to this I tied a length of rope, the other end I tied to the flogging wall, pulling her feet back under her arse and lifting her cunt high as her hips where pulled wide due to the width of the plank.  I sat on the chair I had used earlier and took off my boots and then trousers. I found a condom and with a little concentration, put it on then selected a horse crop, which had two short leather tails about 2 inches long, and moved to stand at the foot of the wood plank.  With small, sharp movements of my wrist I sent the tails across her nipples, first one then the other, hitting 10 or 12 times in a staccato rhythm then changing the target to hit once between her legs, on soft pink lips which stood, unexpectantly, open. I repeated this 3 or 4 times until I judged I had risked enough and she had had enough.  I moved to stand by her side and, while I stroked her body from nipple to inner thigh, I whispered in her ear, “Some do not think fucking is part of BDSM so I shall ask if you wished to be fucked before I do it as part of this experience.”  “Yes, Sir,” She said with a small smile. “or, Yes Please if you prefer.”  I untied her hands and she let her arms hang down at her side as I lifted my right leg over the plank so my prick was an inch or two from her and said, “Do not be cheeky, little one, you are still tied and just because I will be fucking you does not mean it will be the only sensation you will have  I inched forward and, pushing down on the end of my prick I slowly move inside her and like a good girl she pushed herself deeper onto me. I stood still, prick buried in warmth, and using the crop’s leather tails drew sensual trails across her skin from nipple to nipple to navel to clit and back again. Within a minute she raised her hands and held them again my hips as she began to move on my prick, drawing herself off and then pushing down to rub her clit against my groin as I stood immobile, her breathing began to get faster and, as her nails began to dig in, I saw the growing need she had for me to move inside her. Realising the moment had arrived I rested the crop across her belly and, putting a hand on each of her breasts, leaned down to kiss her ear.  My full weight was pressing down on her, crushing nipples against ribs through the flesh of her breasts. I thrust into her, my movement, adding more pressure and pain, caused her to groan loudly, “I will fuck you for as long as you stand the pain.” I whispered and, pushing myself up on to straight arms, continued to fuck her going as deep and fast as her mirrowing movements allowed.  My breathing was becoming fast as she placed her hands over mine and I saw her dig her nails deep into the soft flesh of her breasts between my fingers, ‘that is unexpected’ I thought to myself and took my left hand away to see what she would do.  Her hands squeezed and twisted her flesh, raking her nails across her erect nipple leaving lines as red as those I had given from my flogging.  “Harder.” A single word, she said, between gasping breathes as she reached for my left hand.  Making my hands into fists I pressed my knuckles into her breasts as her hands returned to my hips.  I fucked and forced my weight onto her as a building pain built in my hips under her hands, looking down I saw a bright red drop of blood on my skin, red lines, from this dear girl’s nails, mirroring her own marks; a small price to pay  I did not think I would be able to make her cum, or decide to stop this pain, before I came but suddenly her head thrashed from side to side and the raking of my skin stopped. She made no sound, did not breathe as her fingers spread wide and muscles moved in slow waves under the tight skin of her stomach.  I came a second later and, fighting the mix of pain and pleasure in the tip of my prick, continued to thrust into her until her movements calmed down.  A second’s pause, heart pounding, breathing trying to fill my lungs, vision clearing from an unnoticed unfocused gaze, I stand and let my prick die a little inside her.  I grasped the wood plank on either side of her neck and, leaning down, kiss her lightly on the lips. I gently removed the blindfold and threw it onto the floor.  Her eyes remain closed as I pushed myself up to stand looking down at her – fuck she was beautiful.  Her eyes opened slightly, they shine, a small smile comes to her lips and letting her arms fall to her side she closes her eyes again as the smile grows bigger.  Sadly, oh so very sadly, I pull myself out of her and stepping over the wooden plank sit down on the chair because my legs are shaking in a most entertaining fashion.  We stayed like that for about 5 minutes, her smiles, fading then bursting out bigger than before as the minutes pass.  I pulled on my trousers, discarding the condom into a bin, but remained barefooted as I moved to her shackled feet. I knelt down - I seemed to always be on my knees in front of her – and unbuckled the nearest restraint. Reaching under the plank I finally managed to unbuckle the other and, as if by magic, found myself within reach of her glistening cunt.  Like the nice Dom I am I lowered my head and, after one long, slow lick, bit gently into her soft pick lips, she tasted sweet, naturally and with a hint of strawberry from my used condom.  After a few seconds I stood going to her side to help her stand but as I got close she reached out and put the fingers of her left hand in to my unzipped trousers. I stopped and she pulled out my prick and, with a gentle tug, she led me back to her mouth, slow and gentle this time she held me with soft licks and sucks.  With eyes closed, her right hand moved slowly to go between her legs, with slow strokes, she put two fingers inside her.  I am old, but luckily not that old, for as I watched and felt her actions my prick came back to life. I took in what she was doing and let myself react as my body wished with no attempt at self control.  With a full prick in her mouth her fingers moved faster and, again, erotic moans began to come from her mouth vibrating on my shaft.  “I am going to cum.” I said giving her time to withdraw her mouth, if she wished, but she sucked as before and her fingers gained speed and strength adding wet sounds to my already stimulated senses.  I had to grab, with equal strength and need, the plank for balance and her hair to pull her on to me as I came in four strong spasms. She sucked, swallowed and bit as I came and I could not stop a cry cascade from my lips which went, something like, ”fffuuucckkkking jeeeeeeesus fucking Christ” as I tried to pierce the back of her skull with my softening prick.  As I died again, this time in her mouth, she gently sucked and licked until after a minute or so she took her mouth away, looked up at me and said with a smile, “Hello, Demon, my name’s Amy.”  The End - i think?
    + NRA Bans Firearms During Donald Trump's Speech at Texas Event   BY ANDERS ANGLESEY ON 5/25/22 AT 7:51 AM EDT       The National Rifle Association (NRA) told attendees they will not be able to carry firearms during an event with former President Donald Trump at its Texas conference that will be held just days after a deadly mass shooting at an elementary school in the state.   On its website, the pro-gun organization declared that people would not be able to bring their firearms into the General Assembly Hall during its upcoming Annual Leadership Forum in Houston on Friday, May 27. In a notice, the NRA said firearms, toy guns and "weapons of any kind" would not be allowed inside the hall. It also listed several other items, such as laser pointers and signs among things that were prohibited.   The NRA described its annual leadership forum as being "one of the most politically significant and popular events in the country." But a shadow has been cast over the conference after 19 children and two adults were fatally shot at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas on Tuesday.     (more)       https://www.newsweek.com/nra-bans-firearms-during-donald-trumps-speech-texas-event-1709957#Echobox=1653480476
    Clearly, He Doesn't Read Profiles My dear submissive, I sense your desire to surrender to the all encompassing power of a truly dominant master     Gentlemen, do not be generic. Copy and paste does not work.   I should flag this as spam.
    Attitude matters! I will be clear here. If I choose you and you are not fit, healthy and eat healthy per My desires.  I will put you on a strict diet and exercise program.  I don't care what you weighed in high school or your younger years.  That is not what you look like today.  Who you are today,  what you look like today is all I will see, and matters to Me! Strip naked,  take a long look in the mirror from every angle,  take photos of yourself.  Are you proud of your appearance? Or do you need to put in the work? I am on a journey to better fitness and appearance.  If you are not, or have no ambition to, we will not match up. you don't have to be perfect right now, although that is desirable.   What you do need is to be putting in the work and working on the goal of better health,  healthy eating/diet, and becoming physically fit.  Eliminating substances from your consumption that is not healthy.  Watch 'Biggest Looser', maybe it will inspire you. Its free to watch on freevee app  
    I am not looking for a Master. I am not looking for anyone.  I just come here from time to time to catch up with friends.  I no longer do slave nation.  TheBeatenPath does still have shows . You can find it here  https://beatenpath.caster.fm/   and here http://beatenpathnetwork.blogspot.com/ This also has a schedule and a chat room 
    Femininity is key. So easy being a women. All you need to change a mood is stick on a nice dress and get your hair done. Need to find a true submissive man with a large cock and good at foot and back massages.  
    A Mistress Story The Mistress was known for her strict and unyielding command over her submissives. She was a woman of power and dominance, with a reputation for turning the most strong-willed men into obedient slaves.One day, a young man, curious and seeking a new experience, came across Mistresses domain. He was intrigued and decided to submit himself to her, hoping to experience the thrill of complete submission and surrender. Upon entering her dungeon, the submissive was immediately struck by the sensory overload. The sound of whips cracking, the scent of leather and wax, and the sight of Mistress in all her glory, dressed in a full leather outfit and wielding a riding crop."Welcome, my new sub," she said, her voice dripping with confidence and authority. "You have chosen to serve me and obey my commands, no matter how degrading or humiliating they might be. Failure to obey will result in punishment."the submissive nodded, eager to begin his training as Mistress submissive boy. She wasted no time, quickly binding and gagging him, and then blindfolding him for good measure."You will learn to obey my every command, without hesitation," she said, her voice low and menacing. "You will be used and abused, trained to be my perfect slave."Over the next few weeks, the submissive experienced a range of sensations and emotions, from the pain of being whipped and spanked, to the pleasure of being teased and edged. He was tied up in different positions, hogtied, chairtied, and even hung from the ceiling, his feet barely touching the ground.Despite the pain he endured,the submissive found himself craving more. He loved the feeling of powerlessness, of being completely at Mistresses mercy. He reveled in these humiliation, the degradation, the denial of his own desires.And when Mistress finally allowed him to climax, it was more intense than anything he had ever experienced. He screamed into his gag, his whole body shaking with pleasure."Good boy," Mistress said, her voice filled with satisfaction. "You are learning to serve me well."In the end, submissive discovered a side of himself he never knew existed. He learned to embrace his submission, to love the feeling of being used and abused, and to find pleasure in the pain. And he owed it all to Mistress his strict and unyielding mistress, who showed him a whole new world of pleasure and pain.
    System bug, it seems Different Journal listing at collarspace.com/USERNAME  versus different at: https://www.collarspace.com/personals/v/THEIRuserNUMBERhere/details.htm  In the former their most recent journal entry is 11/29/2021 4:39:27 PM but in the latter it does show their excellent 1/9/2022 1:16:55 PM Journal entry.  Reloading browser page doesn't fix. With system issues like this, you have to wonder whether there is no Message button because they wish to hide, like maybe too many emails following their Journal post, or whether that's a software problem too. Anyway here's what they wrote: "Most of us don't know what we really want. We have vague unrealistic general hopes (such as wanting a lottery win), but when asked to name our specific realistic goals we often struggle. It's probably because so much of our life is bound up in everyday survival - the endless toll of 24-hour emails and social media, plus all the issues and stresses we're dealing with take their toll on our ability to dream and make those dreams come true. " Great point. While it won't solve all these personal and societal issues, I highly recommend meditation or other mindfulness practice (there are others) as one part of one's toolkit and regular weekly, if possible daily, routine. That's for all of us, regardless of BDSM identity, gender etc. Wishing everyone a great week ahead. Or at least a bearable one, haha.
    A phrase I have reminded myself to keep close is Not my circus, not my monkeys. You're familiar? It comes in handy in all sorts of situations when you're someone who tends to react full force with feelings. Me, tons of women, and golden retrievers everywhere will wag our tails or hang our heads based on what happens to us. To us. Reactive. Not making our own decisions. Which means that the limbo that continues is my fault because I haven't enforced boundaries and expectations. And the not being valued continues because I let it. Feeling hurt, feeling lesser than, allowing my mood to be swayed by an outside influence that I already know doesn't do me any good is my own stupidity. And you know what? I don't even want him anymore, so why does it bother me? I am out. No more. Cold shoulder. I'm tired of this. I'm trying to change the narrative in my head. Not my circus, not my fucking monkeys. 
    My next series of workshops will be at Exxxotica, Chicago  April 11-13! Dont miss my workshops or a chance to meet me!  My next play event is coming up!! Spring Fling and Strapon Things will be held in NJ.  Those interested in further details for these events may respectfully Inquire via message with the first word of your message to read EVENTS.
    Hot Ash ( My Thoughts ) ...  Sir Hugo Atlanta   ... "Hot Ash" is the worship and adoration of CIGARS.Its not your typical submissive fetish.I started smoking cigars when I was 13 or14 and was living in Isle Verde, Puerto Rico.I was in Old San Juan walking the quaint cobblestone streets, when I passesd a small store, with two men in the very back, the walls stacked with wooden "trays" that held pre-formed cigars prior to getting the wrapper, and band.I watched for a good while admiring their craft of hand rolling cigars. I bought a dozen or so freshly rolled cigars and lite up in the shop. The cigar was mild and had the flavor of hickory nuts, earthy.I was a young dom when I met my first "human ash tray". This was in the early 80's.This submissive girl was obsessed with "ash". She loved if I flicked the white/gray cigar ash into her cupped hands, or if I flicked it into her mouth, or even if I flicked it at her.When I blew out smoke she would take in a deep breath. I would also take the tip of my cigar and singe pubic hair leaving a burnt smell in the air. Just the act of blowing smoke into her eyes and face aroused her.The cigar made a fun probe giving the cigar a TASTE of female sex in my mouth, and the smell of female Pheromones right to my nose!!!That's really about it for HotAsh I also love having a relaxing blow-job while sitting back puffing my Artuero Fuentes 8-5-8 Claro/Candella or smoking a Monticristo #5 while having my feet rubbed and my toes sucked, as I stroke my cock looking at my ashtray."Hot Ash"Sir Hugo (Atlanta, GA)
    I have been having a discussion in the Dominant Women group on Fetlife about the heavy increase in "transactional kinksters" whose education is from porn. Where it is disrespectful to women yet they are too busy pushing what they want and get blocked mid sentence. I block so many guys daily who are so far from being compatible it's eye-rolling.
    Why is it that when things get a little stressful at work or at home that my thoughts turn to buttery soft leather cuffs and holding a boy down lightly whilst asking him to behave? Daydreaming of edging somebody until they are almost crying is taking my attention away from spreadsheets.  I mean, that's a good thing, spreadsheets are what will eventually kill off humanity, but when somebody asks me "what are you thinking about" I have to quickly lie and say, "what to make for dinner"  
    Do not message me with your first words "hey sub" and expect me to be nice to you. To me that is EXTREMELY disrespectful. I have a name so use it, it can either be snow or cat. But do not be disrespectful and take it out on me when I call you out on it especially if your profile gives off tons of red flags. Don't come to me saying you want a connection when that is your opening line, any real Dom knows that kind of crap is just BS and actually takes the time to address you properly.  You wanna claim you hate fake people but you act fake yourself is you just being a hypocrite and a waste of time. 
    1/25/25 Are there Dommes of quality in New England or NYC?     As I have said in my profile, I'm nominally a dominant man, very much the take-charge sort of person, and have fully explored D/s as a MDom. I was hoping that there would be a few Dommes who could make my head spin, my heart race, and shift my libido into overdrive. Someone to make me want to throw caution to the wind and put myself in your hands, kneel and worship you.     Sadly, the landscape is pretty barren, barely out of school “dommes’ who want money, or others who wouldn’t catch my eye on the street. Engage my mind as well as my libido and I will worship and please you as only a well-rounded, complete man can.  
    February 9, 2024 - Sextoy69 visits when he gets off work to get ME off !     This is probably going to be a quick story. But things were a bit different today.   Normally when sextoy69 comes over for a visit he comes immediately after work. We head upstairs and he strips naked in the bedroom. Yes, there are a few guys that don't strip immediately upon arrival at the house, and he is one of them. Normally I play with his ass for a while with my fingers and toys while he is on all fours with his face and chest smashed into the bed mattress and his ass high in the air.   This time instead of arriving at 3:00, he had scheduled a bit later, at 5:30 today. When he arrived (promptly at 5:30) I asked if he worked overtime. He explained he went out and had a few beers with some coworkers after work. We headed upstairs and he took a detour to the bathroom as he often does. I heard him peeing for what sounded like an eternity. Peeing and peeing and peeing. I would imagine, from what I heard, he had about 3 beers. LOL   When he came into the bedroom, he was probably prepared to "assume the position" so that I could play with his ass. but I was already laying naked, face up, on the bed. I told him to come around to this side of the bed, climb up on all fours, and suck my cock as I play with his ass. I'm not sure if we've ever been in this position before. But I thought let's give it a try. Immediately after stripping naked he climbed on the bed and started sucking my cock.   Read the rest of the story at www.SirKel.top
    Communicating with Me.   Prospective slave property may want to go out of their way to show respect for Me as its potential Owner. So, how to show respect?   Here are a some guidelines: In each and every sentence addressed to Me slave should include the honorariums Sir, Master or both. Capitalization as demonstrated in this message should be observed, while, using lower case for any reference to it. To ask Me a question is allowed only with My permission. Since we are not face to face, it may beg permission from Me to be permitted to ask a question. No matter My response, it should always expressed gratitude taking My time begging for permission. There is a ritual for a slave to observe regarding getting permission to ask a question when in My presence. Gratitude is essential in growing proper mind set in a slave. it should never miss an opportunity to express gratitude. Flattering Me is encouraged. Repetition of the same flattering phrases is not. It must read all of My writings.  It should expect to travel to Me for inspection.   Until it have been inspected and taken to training, it has free choice, without recrimination, to observe the foregoing guidelines, or not. Without recriminations means its lack of following the guide lines will not keep it from having a successful inspection and entering the trial period.
    So some people don't like someone contacting them telling them what they are into, like it's some sort of afront, like they can't have kinks, because you know, it's all about me.   But here's the kicker, it isn't all about you, it about a mtually beneficial arrangement.  If one side is not having their needs and desires met, then they will lose interest. And if someone writes to you and says hey, I like you profile, I'm into... Maybe they're just excited, maybe your profile excited them enough to open up. Unless the message is basically them demanding you do stuff to them without negotiation, then what's the harm really? This is not from a place of experience, I myself do not contact people and go hey I love being humiliated do you like that? Because it's not how I am, I'm a little less excited about this lifestyle after 30+ years in it. But that doesn't mean I don't get excited, it just means I take my time doing it. So don't be harsh on people if they get excited by you, to be fair it's probably a compliment. Anyway, stay safe, have fun
    I have been getting a lot of emails asking to hear from my husband M. He sometimes signs on here and speaks with those who write me. So, I asked him to write a little report about something meaningful that happened to him lately. This is what he produced.    This afternoon, I happened to be in my room (dressed in regular clothes minus pants) when K came in unexpectedly, wearing a sexy, silky, blue push-up bra, red ruffled panties, and her strappy white 5" heels. It was just prior to the 4th of July and this was supposed to be her holiday-appropriate outfit for her boyfriend.  Seeing that she had gotten dressed up for her boyfriend, I knew what was coming; in this house, when K gets dressed up in something sexy, I know I will be getting dressed up in the printed ABDL diapers instead of my typical white ones. Sure enough, after rummaging through my closet, she picked out a white and baby blue trimmed t-shirt that she then put over head after telling me to raise my arms. "Isn't that cute," she remarked with a pleasant but rather condescending tone. She really likes this shirt because it stops and my waist.  This was followed by telling me to lay down for a change from my usual plain white diapers to my thick printed diapers. It was a quick change, all business, she ignored my caged penis as usual other than dusting it with powder. As she stood me up and checked the tapes, I caught my reflection in the full length mirror that hangs on the back of my door. I felt so humiliated, the smell of pee-soaked diapers coming from the diaper pail in the corner mixed with the constant aroma of baby powder filling my nose as she dressed me like a toddler, knowing she was about to have wild sex in the other room--something I would be excluded from, as usual. "You look amazing, K. I can't believe what that bra does to your boobs." I complimented her. "Thanks baby, too bad they're not for you," she told me, cupping her big breasts in her hands to emphasize her point  with a little giggle and I felt my little penis straining in my chastity device. "But I could try again if you'd let me," I said, trying not to sound too desperate. "M, how long are you going to continue asking?", she said dismissing me, "I don't even understand why you ask at all. We already came to an understanding a long time ago now didn't we? Has anything changed? will it ever change?" I blushed at the memory and meekly replied, "No." She was right of course. When I think about the conversation we had the night she told me we'd never have sex again, I know that I accepted our new arrangement. It's just that I guess I haven't got out of the habit of trying.  Turning me around, she gave me a firm pat on my diapered bottom and strode out of the room. Looking in the mirror on the back of my door again as she closed it, I again blushed with shame. About a half hour later, I heard the knock and K answering the door. I stayed in my room, working on the computer listening to them chatting at first but then walking down the hall past my bedroom into hers. They had been in there with the door closed for about 20 minutes when I heard... "M, come in here." I walked in with a little waddle and an audible crinkle, to see her bent over her boyfriend who was lying on top of the master bed. She was deepthroating his big cock and I stared in mesmerized silence, watching the thick, slippery shaft disappear into her wet, eager mouth and throat.Some secret part of me wondered less how it would feel to have that done to me and more how it would feel in my own mouth. Swallowing hard, I instinctively put a hand on the front of my soft, cushiony diapers. I just stood there watching for what seemed like eternity ignored by both K and John, but in reality was probably no more than 5 minutes. Finally, with a wave of her hand, she dismissed me, sending me back to my room, or anywhere really, just not with them. Before long, the sounds of their enthusiastic lovemaking filled the house and I listened with rapt attention. Looking at my humiliating reflection in the mirror, I blushed with shame at my pathetic image. Both of them saw me as nothing but a complete submissive, that would never change. My cheeks flushed with humiliation at the thought and I rubbed the front of my diapers all the more frantically as I took in my reflection. The short shirt, the print on the diaper that was starting to fade from the wetness after two accidents, the outline of my cage on the plastic shell. I was in frantic need of an orgasm, but because of the cage, there was little effect. Feeling sexually frustrated and wanting more, I went to my dresser and grabbed my favorite jelly buttplug--the big clear one, which I rubbed down with the baby oil K sometimes uses during diaper changes. Pulling the back of my diapers down, I could hear K moaning in the other room and her boyfriend's subtle grunting as I began pushing the fat buttplug into my eager hole. I can barely handle the width of this plug, especially at first, and I moaned with a mixture of discomfort and angst. I couldn't get it in standing and dropped to all fours. At last, it slipped inside me and I exhaled in relief. Nevertheless, as I pulled my diapers back up and sat down in front of the mirror and soon began to savor the feeling of rubbery fullness filling my back passage. M was getting what she needed and I was getting as best I could.  I don't even know how long I had been sitting there grinding, which so far had only resulted in further desire when M staggered back into my room and right up in front of where I sat. I sat there frozen as she lightly guided her fingers between her legs then told me to stick out my tongue. I crawled to her, inhaling her amazing scent, caressed her legs as I plunged my face between her legs and she let her boyfriend's creamy cum drip onto my outstretched tongue. "I'm dripping baby boy, clean me up please" she said with a smug grin and stood now with her feet shoulder width apart.I couldn't help but hurriedly press my face into her body. I could smell the result of their lovemaking as another man's sperm completely coated my tongue while I cleaned her with my mouth. Some even dribbled down to land on the chest of my infantile t-shirt. Suddenly, to my surprise, she stood me up and pulled me with the waistband of my diaper to the chair in the corner of my room where she took a seat and I stood in front of her. She abruptly pulled my diapers down. I whimpered with fear as she bent me over her lap, selecting the wooden paddle on my dresser. Feeling the cool air on damp bare bottom, I squirmed knowing I wasn't going to like what was about to happen. "You will not ask for sex again", she quipped as she brought the paddle down across both my soft, tender cheeks pushing the plug into me. "I'm so sorry" I managed to get out between the 3rd and 4th smack. I cried miserably, occasionally glancing over at my humiliating reflection in the mirror. There could be no doubt who sat at the bottom of the social ladder in this house--that was for sure! At last she finished, and after setting the paddle down, she left closing the door. Leaving me to pull my diapers back up for myself.   Sigh...just another day's activities at my house...
    I've changed my profile a bit, after almost a decade of self-discovery. I woke up one morning this summer and said, aloud, "What if I been doing it wrong for 15 years?" What if I am trying to fit into something that isn't living my authentic truth or self? One thing that hasn't changed - I certainly love subtle ways of humiliation and ification. Seeing the glowing red that someone has viewed my profile or have admired me still stirs my introverted soul into blush.