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The pictures on this profile are mine and belong to me, Someone from America are using them as their own, Please if you find this person let me know.

Firstly, please dont pretend you are something you are not, I dont like liars, cheats and fakes !!

Please read all of my profile before sending me mindless emails...



What i am not looking for is a novice Dom or someone under 35 or over 45, I am not willing to relocate outside of the uk either, nor do i want to travel to meet you in outer mongolia .. or where ever you are.


i know we all have to start somewhere but a novice is not really what i want nor is someone much younger or older than me, we simply wouldnt have anything in common.

Who am i, Well firstly i am a deeply layered person, the are many facets to my personality, here are 3 examples ..

There is the shy insecure lady that needs to be loved cared for and nurtured, the lady that needs to be controlled in a subtle way, the lady that likes to be treated like a princess.

Then there is the brat, the wilful little girl that needs lots of discipline, the girl that likes to play up be disobediant and controlled totally before she goes off the rails :) i stamp my feet and always try to get my own way.

Then there is the slut in me, the slut likes to be forced to do things she wouldnt normally do, the slut likes to be controlled, hurt and humiliated, used for someone elses pleasure and treated like a slut. (the slut only comes out to play occasionally).

The brat in me hides many things, care to look past the brat and see what i am all about ?

I cant type one handed neither do i partake in phone sex This bores me .. i like to feel my pain not imagine it.

These are some things previous Doms have said about me..

Child like, High maintenance, Willful, Bratty, Shy, Insecure, Bubbly, Fun Loving, Careing, Courteous, Kind, Honnest, Romantic, Bitch .. moi ???



Anyway please feel free to get in touch :) Freindship is always welcomed But have some respect, and dont expect me to call you Sir within the first 5 minutes.

Please also note i am not a small girl i am a dress size 20/22...

I do have pictures i can send to prove i am genuine and after initial contact like to exchange numbers/emails/facebook to prove we are both real

Well if you have got this far and your not comatosed then go on i dare ya, send a message !

Ahh well another time waster ..

I have removed my pictures as i am sick to death of people stealing them, I do have photo's and can verify that i am genuine :)

I like to feel my pain .. not imagine it ... So if your looking for cyber please pass me by :)

 

Also ... i am looking for someone real, Someone in the Uk .. i dont see the point in chatting to someone in outer mongolia as the chances of us meeting are zero :)

 

Rant  over .. normal service resuming :)

With regard to my last post, I have nothing against age play, I have enjoyed many a role play scene where i have been a young girl, What i do take offence at is so called Dominants prowling Bdsm sites looking for either under age girls or women with daughters  under the legal age of consent.

 

I love Daddy/daughter role play but i am a grown woman with a mind of my own !!!

Please be aware TakeandCorrupt is a Pervert on here looking for ladies with very young daughters, I have reported him but nothing is being done about it. 

I thought this site was for grown adults that believe in SSC !!!

Do I look like a  domme .. no thats because i am not, subbie men please srop memo-ing me, i have no interest in you what so ever

After being on here for a while I have decided its full of nothing but fakes liars and wannabe's .... DimDoms that want to cyber or those that haven't got a Dom bone in their body .. Ahh well
Just ... maybe one day ...
Happy Valentines Day 
OI YOU !!!

Stop viewing my profile when you have blocked my mail ... WANKER !!!

DO it again and i will name you !!
Met someone really nice last night ... who knows ? 
Bored!!!
Dont say you are when you clearly arent

Dont say you can when you most certainly can't

Another one for the Dim Dom bin ...
Happy Christmas xxx 
You looked at me over your steaming coffee cup and i just knew .... 
Is sick and tired of people taking the P*** 
Currently i am sat in bed wrapping christmas presents :) 
Is it wrong of me to want just a little bit of support right now ?
These lyrics are so me at the moment by the legendry Whitney Houston, they really sum up how i feel ....                                                                   


As i lay me down, Heaven hear me now, I'm lost without a cause, after giving it my all, Winter storms have come, And darkened my sun, After all that I've been through, Who on earth can i turn to ?
Doms please be aware HelenBuke is a man ..

He just sent me a message x
Blaaaaaaaaah
I'm poorly sick .. on bed rest with a kidney infection .. i need entertaining 
I'm poorly sick .. on bed rest with a kidney infection .. i need entertaining 
Cant believe i feel this way ...


Why ?
Dissapointment ..

Dont say you are when you are not ...

How confused is that ..

Dont Ask !!!
How Sittutions change, I am now single ...


Well it means i am now seperated from my complicated relationship..


I.e the husband is no longer a feature in my life
Going into myself .. Wrapping myself in a cloak ..

The self protection cloak is a fantastic thing .. something every subbie should own ..

 
Due to the financial credit crunch, i can no longer afford Duracell batteries...willing to trade my rampant rabbit for a very very rich gentleman..!!

apply within  :)
Is feeling rather blahhh today, Why oh why do i open my mouth before using my brain .. 
Feeling a little bit dejected, rejected, unloved and unwanted ...


I give up ... There i have said it .. you push me to the edge time and time again yet still you expect me to come back for more ..

Well enough .. you win .. Its done
Gawd I am bored 
i hate it when you ignore me 
Yes .. those eyes are mine :) 
Leave it already !!! so i am not for you ... stop looking at my profile if you dont like the look at me ... and stop bloody sending me abusive messages 
It just goes to show there are some genuine nice people on here, thank you for all the messages of support that i have received since my last journal entry xxxx 
You know what really F*cks me off ..


So called Dominants viewing my profile and pictures then sending  me messages abusing me for being Fat, Ohh yes and these Doms are handsom ... so handsom in fact that they dont even have profile pictures ... .

So if you dont like the look of me .. pass me by dont send me a message because you thinks its fun to abuse me, Its not big and its not clever!!!!!
**RANT**

Emotionally and physically drained, My neighbour thinks its ok to party until 4-5am every night when she knows i have to be up at 7.

I feel like crying i am that tired ... Help !!
i just dont know what to say 
Gutted !!!
Neglect is a terrible terrible thing maybe i should report him to the subbie union 
Why is it the moment you change your profile to say you are currently in conversations with a prospective Dom/sub your inbox is flooded with mail ???
ya daft geordie munky 
I am rather upset and angry today !!!!!
Another time waster kicked to the kerb, Whatever happened to honnesty, I give it .. is it too much to ask in return.
Bored & at work please someone save me 
I can understand some people ... no matter how hard i try its impossible ??? 
Whatever makes you think that you can send me a chat request without even sending an initial message to say hello.

And what makes you think i will accept it ????
Well well well guess the hospital made a boo boo ... i have to go back in on thursday morning :( 
i'm bored and fed up .. got an infection after my op so i am kinda stuck in bed :( 
going into hospital 19th of May ... will be out of action for a few days so if i dont reply to you straight away ... you know why :) 
I am sure i have swine flu ... 
Well nearly 2 weeks in and the bed is still up and never moved ... So all you blokes that gave it a week .. HA !!!
Ha !! Who says women need men for D.I.Y ..

I just put together my new double bed and its ace :)
Please dont message me until after the 22nd of March i am away for a month sunning myself in tunisia.
Please stop harassing me ... you know who you are and if you continue i will report you. I am not interested GO Away !!!!!
I hope you all have a very merry christmas and a prosperous 2009 xx
Well thats the christmas presents wrapped ... all 36 of them .. i only have another 20 or so to go ...
You all view but never say hello .. How very rude of you :(
Well i am now officially seriously complicated ...

I got married 2 weeks ago to a vanilla :)
OMG ... No my laptop is still broken but i have got my brothers until mine is back home :)
I will be back soon ... unfortunatly my lap top is broken and have been told it will take eight weeks to repair :(

Hey you there

Yes YOU

Dont just view me say Hello ...

Go On ... I dare Ya

* Yawns n Stretches*                                               


i love lazy mornings :)
You know .. you have to love some Wanna be Doms and their chat up lines ..

Here are a few to make you laugh ..


You mean you actually like to be hurt ...


Hello Ma'am nice to be at your service ... i am a Dominant ...


If i ask you nicely will you kneel for me ...


My wife  ...  well she knows i am kinky just doesnt know i am here or into this ...   

Got any for me ?


Cleaning out my closet and my phone book ... if i have your number and you want it to stay that way then say so...

If you are in my contacts list/msn  and you want it to stay that way say so ...


The black cloak is swirling around my feet
Its pulling me further and further
snaking around my ankles getting higher and higher
its black velvetness sucking me deeper and deeper
pulling me down deeper and deeper i sink
up to my knees its swallowing my legs
I need to stop it i need to fight the darkness

its at my waist now pulling and pulling
I cant fight it any longer
i cant save myself bo one can
its at my shoulders
very soon i will down in my own blackness
no one can save me not even myself
Nothing can save me
i feel the blackness pulling me in
its covered my head
I dont know how to get out of this black hole
I am sure one day just one day it will be ok 
totally pissed off, maybe when you have time contact me ... if not dont make excuses .. bye bye 
All i ask for is honesty .. you cant even give me that ...
A Song that means so much to me right now.



To You Darling I Will Always Love You xxx......




A beautiful and blinding morning The world outside begins to breathe See
the clouds arriving without warning I need you here to shelter me And
I know that only time will tell us how To carry on without each other
So keep me awake to memorize you Give me more time to feel this
way We can't stay like this forever But I can have you next to me today
If I could make these moments endless If I could stop the winds of
change If we just keep our eyes wide open Then everything would stay the
same And I know that only time will tell me howWe'll carry on
without each other So keep me awake for every moment Give us more
time to be this way We can't stay like this forever But I can have you
next to me today We'll let tomorrow wait, you're here, right now, with
me All my fears just fall away, when you are all I see We can't stay
like this forever But I have you here today And I will
remember Oh, I will remember Remember all the love we shared today
Bloody bored .. i hate weekends
yaay its nearly time to go away again ... tunisia here i come .. a week of total relaxation i cant wait 
Conversations over ....

Should never have bothered ....

Another liar hits the road ....
I hate not being able to sleep ...

I hate coughing and spluttering ...

I feel a trip to tesco coming on ...
I am in currently talking to someone .. things are looking up :)
So the rule ..

Contact is important he says ... contact daily is very important ...

Then there is no contact on his part for 3 days ...

Guess he dumped me :( would have been nice for him to tell me ..

Dont you think ?
I got a new tattoo ... yippeeeee

Its lovely x
home again after a great week in tunisia
DONT

Just view me ...its rude to look and not say hello .. its also very annoyng xx

reflecting
Happy Birthday to Meeeee
i hope you all like my new pictures xx
Thank you for all your interest but i am currently not looking ... friendly memo's and friends old and new are welcome xxx
Finally the time has come for me to whisked away back to tunisia, I amoff to be a bridesmaid at my friends wedding ... I have to wear pink ... bloody pink :(
Grrrrrrrr

This is a rant ..

I added this guy from here to my msn and (no names) he is rude .. telling me he likes to f*ck fat chicks amongst other things .. very very crude man

Another wannabe Dom blocked !!!
What is it with you Doms .. you add me to your favorite users then you dont send me a message ???
Well the hunt goes on...

After speaking to a very good friend of mine (you know who you are)..

It seems i need a Daddy Dom, someone that can nurture me and protect me ...

Allow me to brat but also put me in my place when needed ..

Is that you ?
sub drop aint big and it aint funny .. i need lots of hugs and cuddles :(
Happy Christmas to Y/you A/all i hope Santa Delivers all Y/you hope and wish for xxx
whoo hooooo Tunisia here i come :)

I hope you'll all miss me

BAH HUMBUG !!!!!

Another one bites the dust ...
i well and trully give up ..

Doms 99% of them = Waste of space
Why send me a message then block me ???
I deserve better than this ....

The cloak covers me 

pulling my soul into its darkness
 
i feel it swirling around me

pulling me deeper and deeper

trying to fight against it

i dont want to let it claim my life

i dont want it to claim my soul

but its there pulling me deeper

my silent screams go unheard    

no one hears my desperate cry

 no one hears my plea's for help

why why cant they see whats happening to me



i am failing now

no longer have the strength to fight

i close my eyes tightly

let the darkness wash over me


feeling its icy coldness

creeping through me

my heart hurts my head hurts

i just want it to stop

silent tears fall from my eyes

i feel them falling onto my cheeks

i look for help

reasurance that everthing will be ok

none can be found

my insecurity pulls me under

mocks me for giving in yet again
 
it laughs in my face

its like a slap in my face

i just want it to end

i need to be at peace with myself

do i have the courage   

can i change this am i strong enough

I really dont think so ...
 


I feel a lot calmer tonight ..

I am sorting my head out ..

Getting myself together ..

Thank you to You for all the memo's trying to help me xxx
i dont know who i am or where i am anymore .. i feel lost and confused ...

Does he really want me .. or am i being used until something better comes along
To you ... yes you the bloke that says i am not a real woman that i am a fake and i am really a man ... have fun i know who and what i am ... my friends know i am real and thats all that matters!!!!
I have just had a fantastic weekend Thank you Sir xxxx
I am home .. but going back in 4 weeks :)
i cant believe its only 3 days until i go back to tunisia ... yippeeee
i need a male nurse to pander to my every poorly whim
OMG i did the vanilla sex thing :(
I have a need ..

I have an itch ...

I need it scratching....

Grrrrrrr .....
I do NOT do chat today meet and play/sex tomorrow... i like to take my time to get to know someone ... if this is all you are after please pass my profile by
If i wanted people to know my breast size then i would post it on my profile *tuts* Get a life guys
Bored with it all now i am going back nilla :(
i have added another picture to my profile, this is one of my tattoo's .. who knows what it says ???
Please read my full profile ... it does state no one over 45
You Know what really pisses me off ..

Wanker Doms that say they have a subbie on their profile but then lie blatantly to your face and say they havent ... Get A Life ..

its there like a black cloud hanging over me ...

its been far far to long...

March in fact ...

Ohhh fuck ...

Any handsom Sane Doms out there that like little fat blonde chicks ...

Memo me ... lol

I have decided ..... Want to know more ... ASK !!!
Boredom & Solitude is a killer  .... i need to get a life ... want to help me?
I Have updated my profile, i think it shows a better reflection of what i need/dont need right now ...
there are several new pics for you to look at :) Please let me know what you think...
I hope you like my new pictures .. sorry these arent pervy ones but well i still dont have the confidence to pose for any yet http://www.collarspace.com/htmlarea/smileys/0028.gif" align=absMiddle border=0> maybe someone will offer to take some for me ... hint hint http://www.collarspace.com/htmlarea/smileys/0004.gif" align=absMiddle border=0>
Still no luck in my search, maybe i should just hang up my slut collar and become 100% nilla ...

Could you be the one to save me ?
i think i am seeking the impossible or am i just choosy ?
Hi Once again from tunisia ... sorry to rub it in but it was 102° today... tee hee hee
Helloooooooooooo from tunisia... just thought i would leave a quick blog ... its fecking roasting xxx
ok so i am off work sick :( and decided to look through some profiles...


Now please dont be offended but some of these made me laugh ... no i will not name names or point fingers but some of these are well ...


What happened to genuine submissives & Dominants ...

Some of the profiles i have read today are all about sex sex sex and guess what ... sex

For me my submission is about giving control, trusting someone to hurt, use and humiliate me in everyday life .... not just a kinky shag on a saturday night ...

Am i Wrong ?
Hi A/all

JUst thought i would write a quick line or two from Tunisia ....

I am having a great time here although unusually for April its fecking cold i have never been as cold in all my life ...

Well i will speak to you A/all next wednesday xxxx
only 5 more days to go and i will be back in the arms of my man ... i cant wait to see him .. its been 4 long hard weeks without him
Whooo hoo i am going back to Tunisia next week ... i cant wait
i would just like to point out that i am seeking  UK Dom under the age of 45  that doesnt mean i am looking for someone aged 50... please some people read all of my profile :)
STOP !!

If all the Doms that viewed my profile sent me a message i would be a very popular lady, Please say Hi ..its rude not to
So Whats happened to the real Dominant men that want real relationships not just cyber fucks..

If you are real, aged between 30 & 45 then please get in touch i dont bite ... but you can ;)

Please note i am not interested in anyone outside of my age range or anyone outside of the uk
Just back from tunisia and what a week its been ... i cant wait to go back in March x
Whooo hoooo its nearly Tunisia time, I leave at 3am(uk time) in the morning, Yaaayyy

Well i hope you will all miss me :)
   Needing


i need to be hurt, to be forced, to be spanked, flogged, feel my breasts bound tight, hands tied behind my back, my hair pulled, a knife help to my throat, hands wrapped around my throat squeezing the air from my lungs, i need to feel humiliated, to feel hurt, feel the tears trickle down my face, i want to have the boundries pushed, limits stretched, i want to hear words whispered in my ear, words that i hate whispered to me...
 Stop

i am really not interested in anyone that is a fake a wannabe a married man or a couple, just straight safe sane single Men please.
My search for a deacent Dom is still going, all i seem to get is idiots, married men and players ..

What happened to deacent kinky blokes ??
Well i had various replies to where all the decent Doms are .. none are close enough for me ...

Are there any Doms out there that like little fat dumpling blondes...
Where are all the decent Doms
Well Life is good, My new year has started as it should do, I am happy and thats all that matters, I hope you all find peace this year xx
I don't understand some men... Supposedly Doms... some need to grow up ... on a lighter note i am off to tunisia on sunday for 2 weeks.
Hope you all have a fanstastic christmas
sorry to upset some of you my friends but next weekend i am off to tunisia again :)
I am home, did you all miss me ?
well tonight i am off to tunisia so i won't see you all for a week .. have fun whilst i am away :)
2 simple questions

1. Is wanting to be a good friend wrong?

2. Is being cautious Wrong ?

answers on a postcard please to ......
Last night i went to Nemesis in Huddersfield ... in my opinion the best club ever ... had a fantastic night :)
today i feel a whole lot better after a good nights sleep, my new business gets off the ground today and i can't wait ...
can things in my life get any more wrong ... first i ruin a very good friendship then i get the sack :( do i have a self distruct button or what http://www.collarspace.com/htmlarea/smileys/0027.gif" align=absMiddle border=0>
Well what can i say ... it just didn't work out like i wanted it to.. me and my big gob :( * goes of to remove her feet from her mouth*
you know when you decide that you are not looking for anyone and that you are taking a break, then all of a sudden someone walks into your life, you chat, you get on, you have the same things in common the next step is to meet ... watch this space for an update :)
today i am at work bored to tears and no one to talk to ... please help :)

Message for someone ...

MasterBond,

Please explain your email to me and the reason you blocked me, you and i  do not know each other and have never exchanged messages.

are there any serious Dominants on here or just wannabe's that want me to accept a collar within 2 mins of talking :(