Devidasi

FAIR WARNING: If your message to me indicates that you have not read my profile and journal entries, I probably won't respond. If I do respond, it will probably just be to play a game of cat and mouse with you for my amusement. I honestly think that a lot of these lengthy profiles about the horrors of wasted time, misspellings and improper etiquette are the work of undesirable drama queens, but then again, I guess they have their point. It *is* kind of annoying to get a message from someone new only to find that they couldn't even be bothered to read what you had said about yourself. These profiles and journal entries are valuable clues about who you're dealing with, people! When approaching someone, use all available information to your advantage!

Wow, its been a long time since I visited this site. I updated my profile today to include new interests and such. I still have my status as looking for friends only, but I might change that. What scared me off was how needy and clingy and possessive people started getting of me. I guess I need to be better with communicating my boundaries from the get-go.

I am interested in good, close, even loving friendships, but not romance. If romance happens to develop, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it and not before. Right now I'm just looking for people I can trust and confide in and share good experiences with. Understandable?

OMG - finally back online. I'm *so* happy. So feel free to message me if you want my contact info - and if I'm comfortable with you, we'll chat.

I have learned something new about myself in regards to D/s and this site. I am really having trouble with the idea of meeting couples consisting of a dominant male and submissive female. I just don't like the feel of it. I don't want to interact with couples who display this dynamic. I understand that for a couple to play, there must be roles. I don't think I'd mind a switch couple as much. I react pretty strongly to this - I truly believe this stems from my experience with domestic abuse, and I guess its something I may need to work through.

Also, I dislike the whole We/we, Me/me thing. It just seems false and pretentious. I don't mean to insult anyone who uses it so I apologize if this seems offensive. I fully admit that I may not grasp individual purposes of its use. And I'm not trying to single anyone out. Its just something I've noticed frequently on this site. For some reason, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Last, to anyone who has messaged me recently, I apologize for failing to message back in a timely fashion. I've been feeling very depressed about my lack of internet access and haven't had as much time as I'd like to get on at work.

There seems to be a lot of animosity at this site against people who do not live and breathe BDSM 24/7. So-called Weekend Warriors.

It seems pretty condescending to me for a lot of reasons. First and foremost because I personally know people who would like to play more, but aren't able to for medical reasons. But there are also people who can't play all the time because of other important lifestyle choices. Like children, for example. Not everyone has the time and energy to be *on* 24/7. That doesn't mean that the experiences and desires of these people are less valid or something to be scoffed at. At least in my opinion.

I don't see why people need to look down at others for how often or how intensely they choose to include BDSM in their lives. I've encountered similar attitudes in the occult community and I discourage it there too. Its true that we don't necessarily care for lectures from "armchair" types. I can somewhat understand the disdain for the "fakes" who waste everyone's time by not even being serious about meeting anyone. But that's a little different - you have some real people here who want to explore BDSM but who may not be able to live it daily as a lifestyle choice but who do have enthusiasm, a willingness to learn and grow and give. I think that counts for something.

Seems like a matter of ego again. Some dom/mes want more than people are able to give, and they are angry because what they want may not exist in their area or in people they find attractive enough.

Ugh.

One thing that I really hate is sexism and its something I'm seeing a lot of here. It is a major turn-off for me, I have to admit. I've seen a couple references to how horrible women are - how they lie and cheat. Hey. Humans in general lie and cheat. It isn't something particular to women *or* to men. So please don't act like it is. (I can understand its value within the bounds of roleplaying, however.)

I had initially listed Female Supremacy as a dislike. Not because I dislike the idea of a woman being dominating, but because I dislike the idea of one gender being inherently superior to another. There is no basis for this assumption. I don't like it. I started worrying that people might think I was saying that I didn't like the idea of a woman dominating another person and that is totally not how I feel - so I removed any reference to Female Supremacy from my interests.

Another thing I'm seeing is crass arrogance and self-inflated egos. Again, I can understand this as part of roleplaying, but with a lot of people, I can't tell if that's what this is for them. Do they realize how asinine they sound?

One person told me that I should feel privileged that he would discuss a certain topic with me. Why? Why are you telling me how to feel? Why should I feel privileged that you will have a discussion with me? I don't get it.

Well, my computer is dead. I won't be online much in the next month. But I will have limited access at work, and I will try to respond to as many messages as I can!