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No apologies for wanting exactly what I want. No picture because I do not want it floating around my office. If we click, then we will move forward easily, quickly, smoothly and have fun in the process.
I have enjoyed training innocents and novices and have also had the pleasure of being with the most experienced of girls over the course of my happy life with relationships lasting from a few months, to more often a few or even five or ten years.
We have all heard that "trust" and "communication" are the keys to any good relationship and perhaps that is correct, but I have learned that being true to self is the key. Thus I have learned to listen to myself and my partner and not to disregard what I hear.
In short, being honest is the most important thing. Each person must be honest about (and speak) what they need as an individual and in a relationship.
Often there is a focus on "limits" rather than expectations. Limits are the easy part as there is no desire to go to unhappy places. Expectations are harder because there is a strong desire to go to happy places. The path to happiness is not always well laid out and a clear view of where to go is the best way to avoid straying off into unhappiness.
My first well defined BDSM relationship (before the internet, we never knew what to call it) was with a wonderful woman who had many years experience as a submissive in great relationships, but had never done a certain thing. So we did that certain thing and she said in a scared little voice, "do we have to do that everytime we get together" and I said, "oh no, of course not." What a lie! We did it every time we got together and why not. But I learned for later relationships that if there is something I want or that I think works well for the relationship, better to say it for what it is.
Some Master/slave couples talk about transparency and that is an interesting comment on what honesty and truth are. Of course actual facts are true. Deep desires, intentions, preferences, loyalties, dreams and any emotion or thought that can be shared -- all are part of the intimacy I require.
As to labels, they are rarely other than misleading and limiting. Call yourself slave or submissive or bottom or whatever, the key is that there is something in you that calls out for attention. I can hear that craving and satisfy it. Call it anything you like, but we will call it good if it pleases me.
Enough philosophical theory.
Start with common courtesy.
If you have read this far and have any opinion whatsoever, then I would very much appreciate feedback. If you are reading this and would like to discuss anything my profile brings up in your thinking, then I am available for discourse. So a couple of reasons that you might send me a message.
Now let me express my needs clearly. I am completely single and alone which is not my preference. So I need to have some sense of attachment and connection. If you want to satisfy a man's well communicated needs, then do so by contacting me.
Thanks for being true to who you are really are. It is all we have and all we can expect.
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Perhaps because I am over educated and experienced enough, I hardly see myself as seeking dungeon activities in and of themselves.
Wanting to have a good relationship is normal and hoping the good relationship will have the potential to satisfy a d/s preference is reasonable.
Looking for a relationship is hard.
Some think finding a d/s relationship is hard, but it is not.
Finding a single, intelligent, honest, attractive dominant is hard.
So many are submissive, that the dominant member is the limiting factor.
Also, a dominant can encourage the submissive to entertain expanding aspects of a relationship.
It seems much harder for submissives to guide and direct a relationship into a d/s situation.
In any event, it is the relationship, not the d/s elements, that are critical and the basically hard part.
Well, just more philosophy.
I will say that yes, I could include many more of my daily activities and such in this profile, but I prefer to talk about my life in the naturally unfolding development of a relationship.
The internet is facinating for that reason: we can meet other with great speed, but can we be in a well developed relationship as easily?
I would think chatting on yahoo messenger (or even the phone) would be necessary to determine a persons depth of character.
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As Blogs go:
http://bdsmhypnosis.blogspot.com |
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I am getting plenty of traffic/viewing from (self-called) Doms - seems someone suggests aspiring to this profile.
Then this received message is a good endorsement:
I too "snitched" the quote you have in your journal....loved it.
Enjoyed reading your profile - direct, without drippy baggage, clear and even somewhat balanced. are you sure you belong on this site?? |
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I Cut & Paste lifted this right out of another person's Journal.
Pardon my plagaristic stealing.
"A slave submits primarily to her own nature… That she requires a material, extrovert focus for her submission, i.e. the dominant, does not alter the fact that on the spiritual level her submission is essentially introverted. One could say that through the dominant she submits to herself by proxy… Each makes the other possible, tied together as they are in symbiotic interdependence."
~ J. Mikael Togneri in Spirituality In Slavehood |
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Of course every guy on earth is still fantasizing about a personal harem and being king of the castle while having complete freedom to cat around even more (sort of a Robin Hood meets Henry the VIII meets the Thief of Bagdad - gotta love the classics).
This feedback from a submissive:
"I feel too many, especially males, are attracted to this lifestyle more for the promise of free, unlimited obedience and sex, rather than any desire to control, mould and shape a sub so they both can achive a full and happy relationship, and I fell too many subs/slave are attracted for the attention they crave - thus the 'bratty' type of behavior that's sometimes seen."
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There is a mental and sensual intensity involved with this wonderful lifestyle of Dominance and submission. The erotic fulfillment that both you and I crave. The submissive being pushed to perform for the Dominant. Knowing that once the mind is owned, the heart and body cannot help but follow.
Submission is not about sex. Submission is not something one can learn from scratch. It is so much more than sex. It is not dirty or degrading. Submission is beauty. It is a beauty that comes from the very soul of a submissive person. It is a breaking down of the walls built up in her lifetime, allowing the beautiful, sensual person to come through.
Submission is less about sex than it is about sensuality. It is about trust, communication, vulnerability, caring, and honesty. It is about being the graceful, sensual, beautifully true inner self that resides comfortably within the framework of slavery.
Submission is about knowing who you are, and what you want. A submissive is NOT a weak person, but just the opposite. she is strong. Strong in herself, and in the knowledge of who she is. She has no need to submit out of weakness or desperation. She submits out of strength, love, and trust, expecting the same in return.
Submission is freedom. It is a letting go of one's self, knowing that the dominant is there to catch you if you falter. It is about pushing to be the very best one can be, not only as a submissive, but as a woman, a person, a human being. It is a surrender of the lesser self to the better person that is being newly created.
It is about learning, growing, and giving. Please don't get me wrong or misjudge my optimism. I am an upbeat person, but submission is not about donning rose coloured glasses, and pretending the world is fine. Nothing worthwhile will ever come that easy.
Submission is sometimes associated with pain. There is no growth without pain, lest it be a temporary growth. There is no meaningful freedom without the inner struggle to let go. There is no sensuality without breaking down the barriers that took years to erect.
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