|
I have been out of town. I am planning on ending my exploration as I believe submission will not fulfill me.
|
| |
| |
|
|
Had a session set up with a seasoned Dominat male on Sunday. It was fairly extreme in the mental aspect, restaints and medium grade pain infliction. I had to end it, I was becoming filled with rage and anger, I was fantasizing cutting up the dominant and flushing the pieces. I am guessing not the headspace he was hoping to achieve. We discussed afterwards and think that submission is not for me. I need to step back and reconsider what this exploration has revealed to me.
|
| |
| |
|
|
A Dominant wrote to me and after a few emails back and forth they inquired if it was subjugation I was searching for. I think it is.
|
| |
| |
|
|
I haven't given up just have worked the lst 3 weeks 10-12 hr a day no time off. But recovering this weekend and will go back to regular scheduled program.
|
| |
| |
|
|
Yesterday I had my first encounter. It was an experience. I felt more that it was a scene, very casual. I didn't feel at any time that I was submitting. The partner I was with did agree that it seemed more bottom energy. I did enjoy the Doms company and attentions but as far as what I took away...I do not like spanking or paddling, hot wax is so so, the rest I had some experience with before and wasn't surprised that I enjoyed it-knives, biting, nipple torture etc.....I will continue on but am in no hurry.
|
| |
| |
|
|
Even though I feel some fear at submitting, I am not palnning on flaking out on scheduled time. I realized my journal may be taken out of context. I have had some scheduling challenges as my biggest blocks of free time are on Sundays and alternating Wed. evenings
|
| |
| |
|
|
Well a supervisor of CM found one of my pics appropriate. Thank you for all the lovely comments on my tattoo. If you recognize me from my back peice than I trust you with discretion for now. I will "come" out as a switch if thats were the cards fall when I am done exploring. I have met 3 dominants and all 3 were friendly and seemed down to earth. I have spoken with a few on the phone as well. I have as of yet to physical interact with anyone. I have 2 possible play dates this week, but am starting to have second thoughts.......the idea od submitting is making the hair raise on the back of my neck.
|
| |
| |
|
|
No matter what photo I submit it gets rejected. Funny since none of them have explicit.
|
| |
| |
|
|
I have met 2 Dominants so far. Both were geniune people with very different view points of D/s. I do appreciate being able to meet interesting Dominants face to face and discuss our experiences as Dominants together. I have as of yet to sample the submission I am looking to experience. But then I am in no hurry and have been enjoying the submissives I have culitivated while out of town. I am hoping to journal about my experiences with submission. Off to FL next week and then will be in Chicago till March.
|
| |
| |
|
|
I have appreciated all he well written responses I have recieved thus far. it hs been a breath of fresh air, after hearing of the responses most submissives illicit. I am open to meetign most local based people to see if we are likeminded or to see if we can at least be aquintances or more. i am limited on time so it may take afew days for my response and it may take 2 weeks or more to meet as I travel some fo my employement.
|
| |
| |
|
|
| |
