BlackNobility

1.Be patient! Until you enter into a relationship with a submissive, you have 
no more right to order him/her around than does anyone else. Give your 
bottom time to get to know you and what you are like. Finesse and subtlety 
are major elements of dominance. Similarly, strength and gentleness go 
hand in hand. The sensitivity and awareness (or lack thereof) that you 
show in the real world is likely to be repeated in the playroom.

2.Be humble. You may be God's/Goddess' gift to the world, but no one 
needs to hear it or wants to hear it. You will have ample opportunities to 
show how good you are - and plenty of opportunities to make a fool of 
yourself. No matter what you claim, the "real you" will show through in a 
scene. Don't set yourself up for a failure by developing expectations that 
you know you can never reach.

3.Be open. Although the top is classically considered to be the teacher in 
D/s-SM, you can always learn from your bottom, no matter how 
inexperienced. Be willing to learn from other dominants who may have a 
totally different perspective from yours. Try to approach by-now-familiar 
trips with an attitude of wonderment and discovery. Be aware that everyone 
has her or his own personal style.

4.Communicate! You are responsible for finding out basic, essential 
information about the people you play with, such as experience, limits, 
likes and dislikes, and health information. Playing D/s-SM without this 
knowledge is like Russian roulette. Talk about your head-space and your 
view of D/s-SM with your bottom, so that any uncertainties can be dealt 
with before you start playing. Clearly spell out roles, rules, limits, and 
contracts. Do not take for granted that your bottom instinctively knows the 
ground rules.

5.Be honest. If you lack experience in an area that your bottom would like 
to experiment with, be honest about it. Your partner has a right to know 
that. Be honest with yourself and take your submissive only to those levels 
at which you are completely in control of the situation. Safety should 
always be the first concern, taking priority over how hot a.particular scene 
is.

6.Be sensitive. There's a very fine line between a sensitive, caring dominant 
and a self-righteous, insensitive overbearing clod. Your scene should be a 
creative synthesis of your needs and fantasies and your bottom's needs and 
fantasies. Although, on the surface, your submissive is serving you, what 
actually is happening is that dominant and submissive are serving each 
other. 
Earn the complete trust of your submissive and never violate or even 
threaten to violate that trust. His or her submission is a gift to you. Use it 
appropriately.

7.Be realistic. End the scene with the bottom wanting more, not wishing 
there had been less. Remember that power, control, and sensitivity are the 
keys, not just the intensity of the stimulation. Be clear about what is 
fantasy, and has little to do with what works in practice. Your favorite 
porno picture books may be stimulating in themselves, but don't try to 
imitate them to the last detail.

8.Be really dominant! Submissives are looking for someone who will take 
over their body and mind, not just for brute strength.Real people are 
wanted, not just cardboard images from cigarette ads or macho stereotypes. 
Your dominance enhances your whole existence. It does not cover up or 
substitute for other areas of your life - it is you. Make your submissive fall 
in love with you, and expect him or her to give him/herself up to you 
totally. Follow up on rules, expect obedience, and punish appropriately 
when it is called for. Don't shirk your responsibility to your bottom or to 
your sister/fellow tops. Be dependable and expect dependability. You have 
agreed to take the dominant role - now take it!

9.Be healthy! Like any strenuous activity, SM requires that its participants 
be in top physical and emotional health. Many factors, including the 
amount you Sleep, your eating habits, and your alcohol and drug intake 
affect your performance and endurance during a scene. Don't attempt to do 
SM when your physical or emotional energy is low. As a dominant you 
have a special responsibility to be in control of yourself and on top of the 
scene. An attitude of "drugs and alcohol don't affect me that much... I can 
do it anyway" violates your submissive's trust in you and can be dangerous. 
If you don't want to accept the responsibilities, you shouldn't be playing the 
game!

10.Have fun! After all, sex is all about having a good time. You have 
earned, and you are entitled to the unique, intense pleasures which come 
from responsible, creative SM play.