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Male Dominant, 19, louisville, Kentucky
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Male Submissive, 22
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Male Dominant, 24, Rochester, New York
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About BadIdeaFairy
Not looking thanks :) The more I like you as a person, odds are I'll be compliant and serve you with a bit of enthusiasm. I'd say I'm a bottom more than a submissive; it's a location preference. I'm a simple woman of simple needs; a chatter-box and I make an ass out of myself to make others laugh. My firm belief is that there is no one person that can ever know everything; the world is too big and complex of a place to stop learning and that's what I feel life should be all about. Although yes it says I'm a certified massage therapist, do not ask me to give you a massage for free because I don't ask YOU to do YOUR job for free. I do not do sexual favors during these massages because I didn't go to school to learn how to be a hooker, I learned how to help others with aches and pains. Imagine if the creepiest, most undesirable person came to where you work, laid down on your desk naked under just a sheet and blanket and asked you for a hand job or a blow job. I don't behave that way, please give me the same respect... my sub life and my professional life are VERY separate and I would like to keep it that way. I hope to work with current military enlistees and veterans; as an Army brat that would be an absolute dream come true for me. I could not join myself due to the medication I take. So instead I wanted to improve the quality of life for those whom have served or who are serving; it's the least I can do for whose who came back alive. For the fallen I've no words to express how humbled I am for their sacrifice; I've highest hopes they've safe passage to the other side. Other than that I'm generally happy-go-lucky, low-maintenance, honest, and if I don't like something I'll more than likely tell you. I've a strong distaste for purses, heels, skirts and dresses; make-up is something I will rarely put on because I've found no real occasion to wear it in the first place. If you honestly want to piss me off, feel free to drag me to a store and make me pick out a dress and matching heels to wear; the consequences shall be dire. I've also another peculiar limit if you own me - Do not call me stupid, or any variation of that word. The plain denouncement of my intelligence is the most hurtful thing you could possibly say to me. That's all I have to say; the end. |
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Dear Doms:
If you're going to do the standing Superman pose, at least have the God damned decency to wear the shirt with it. In the mean time, kindly cease from slapping DC comics in the face with your dead grandmother's labias.
That is all. |
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"Set Fire To The Rain" Adele |
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I have found a name for my new long bow; Sweet pea. |
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Paperwork: It's easy to manage, and can be efficiently organized and labeled; this is what makes me happy. |
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Happy for two reasons:
1. Convinced my boss to give a $10 discount to military veterans/active duty when they show their ID/dog tags
2. Designed an in-take form specifically catering to the needs and issues of said personnel. |
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Just going to crawl in a hole and die. |
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Fantastic day at work today! BOOM! |
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And so... The game is afoot. |
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Ah... Finally after a five-day work week, I get to sleep in on a Saturday... I can rest an ankle I rolled and be happy. |
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Clients - Y U NO SHOW UP ON TIME!? |
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Squee! I'm now employed as a massage therapist! So happy :D |
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Has anyone ever noticed besides me that amateur storm chasers are pre-dominantly white, young twenty-something guys who aren't married? |
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I got to hold an iguana for the first time :D |
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Passed my certification exam, bitches - Win. |
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In another life, I would be your girl. We'd keep all our promises - Just us against the world...
- Katy Perry |
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Hip-hip-Hooray! My corsets come today!! |
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Really need to remember that other people may in fact find me attractive. >_> |
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Attention Doms:
THERE'S REALLY NO NEED TO TYPE IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. IF THE MAJORITY OF US WERE ILLITERATE THEN THE INTERNET WOULDN'T BE AS POPULAR AS IT IS TODAY.
Thank you. That is all. |
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Fired a 1911 .45 for the first time today and I didn't hit myself in the face :D |
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I don't really understand the term "Sadistic gentleman." In my head I just imagine some guy in a top hat in Victorian-era garb with a monacle out on a date with a woman and at his flat. All of sudden after a couple of drinks of wine shared he'll ask, "Do pardon me for being so forward madamoiselle but would you be be so kind as to let me grab your nipples and twist them counter-clockwise until you scream? You would? Why I dare say thank you, much obliged!" |
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Attention so-called "modeling agents:" I'm flattered that you want to contact me but I'm not model material nor am I interested. Kindly piss off. |
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Has any guy on this site ever considered putting goggly eyes on their penis with double-stick tape and take a photo of that? I mean at least make it entertaining for fuck's sake. |
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What has two thumbs and just received her diploma in the mail? This bitch! |
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Dear God,
Why do you slap me in the face with your dick every day?
From,
Me |
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Jar of Hearts - Christina Perri |
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Her alarm went off and her eyes slowly blinked open to the buzzing noise. Sitting up she felt the fibers of her clothing stick to the scabbing spots on her back. She snatched her phone into her palm and quickly shut it off as soon as she heard her Master tussle. Exhaling a sigh of relief she slowly stood up and stretched from her floor mat. She folded up the mat itself, the sheets going into the basket with the dirty clothes. She took note of the small droplets of blood on the fabric and slightly frowned while crumpling up her covers and carrying them. She would not start her laundry right away, for she knew that she had plenty of other matters to attend to. Tip-toeing about the small apartment toward the laundry room she would turn her head in the direction behind her where her Master was still sound asleep. She nodded to herself and smiled that she managed to make nary a sound.
Bending over and picking up the laundry basket her skin stretched slightly, she snapped back to an erect posture and gasped. Her wincing triggered the vivid memory of last night; the malicious cracking of the belt, the way he caressed his fingers down each mark. The scent of rubbing alcohol surprised her nostrils as she pushed the covers into the washer.
She became aware of her own routine; executing it quietly so as not to wake Master again. She remembered that was a mistake she would make absolutely sure to never repeat for as long as she lived. Although his beatings were for his own pleasure and for her vast discomfort, he hopes his methods would turn her into a masochist. Thus far his efforts have produced slow results. Due to her abusive childhood her body remained in shock rather than sending waves of endorphines via her parasympathetic nervous system. She let out a shuddered sigh; a tear rolled down her face as she walked; Master made sure to bruise her gluteal muscles so thoroughly that she was forced to sleep on her side.
She then moved on to putting her apron on and make his breakfast; scrambled eggs, two strips of bacon, and gingerly pushed them onto his favorite plate. She checked to make sure there was water, a filter and coffee grounds in the machine before pressing the power button to make his coffee. She quickly washed out the used cooking utensils and placed them into the dish washer racks. She scanned and found the fold-out wooden table to set in front of him, and set it precisely where he sat, placing the silverwear down as per dining protocol. She turned to see the blinking light on the coffee machine and went to snatch his favorite mug from the drying rack. As she filled the mug, she took one of the coasters out from a neatly stacked pile she made on the counter closest to the refridgerator and set it down on the right side of the wooden table within his reach. She gave her Master's leg a gentle rock; his eyes snapped open and she quickly knelt next to the table, staring down at the floor. |
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Stupid Pectoralis minor; stop having so many trigger points God damn you! |
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Is about ready to die laughing so hard; happenishats.com
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However, Australia in Sydney and Cairns...they get a huge gold star sticker because I LOVED Oz :D |
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I am relieved to be home from Shanghai, China - worst. City. Ever. |
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Walking After You - Foo Fighters |
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I definitely want to massage jet engine mechanics for the USAF :) |
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So, just to make sure I'm not a COMPLETELY horrible person...
Is there anyone else out there aside from me that has an image of Bitch Brian or Bitch Stewie from Family Guy (referencing from the episode "Quagmire's Baby") whenever he or she sees within someone's desires expressed that they want to find that "special someone?" |
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Would kind of like to be used... ^_^ |
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My brains really hurt; finals suck so much |
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Thou shalt not spill thine seed into thine sock, stuff it down at the bottom of the hamper, and act like it's been there a really long time - The word of the Lord. |
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Has dreams of living in an underground house ^_^ |
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Wheel of Morality, turn turn turn, show us the lesson that we should learn...
And the moral of the story is:
If you're going to message me and ask me creepy questions, I'm going to respond to you by being an ass hole. |
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Have a job opportunity RIGHT after I get out of school! FTW! |
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More patterns I'm noticing:
Okay, guys I don't know if you knew this or not, but let me make it really clear to you:
ONE DICK PICTURE IS ENOUGH, I ASSURE YOU. Really? You're going to take time out of your day, to sit down, and take five photos of your own penis, at different angles, or get someone else to take a picture of your dick, at five different angles.
This tells me that not only do you not have much of a personality to begin with, but your only talents in life, are your giant penis, and what ever things that you do for work.
Who motivates themselves to do that? I mean really, do you guys just wake up, a grin on your face, and say to yourself, "Well, looks like today's the day for some epic penis pictures!" It's as if your pent-up frustration for not posting your junk to the world had started on Facebook because no one's mom likes to see that, and you finally found internet sanctuary for said photos of your giant penis.
Second thing I'm noticing:
Men that have the word "Demon" or "Devil" or "Diavolo" or any variation of that name; you are a pussy. Yes, I fucking said it. Any guy that takes the fucking time to try and flatter himself by putting the name "devil" in his name clearly has some issues. I mean sure you may be called that outside of the inter webs, but in all sincerity? I'm not scared of you. That's right, I'm not intimidated by any of you. Especially those fucks that are really skinny, wiry looking and have long hair. Crackers, please. I could snap your bodies in half and laugh at you, for trying to tell me that you're dangerous, or deadly; I'm guessing lifting a half-dollar would be a work-out for you. Cut your God damned hair, you sissy-looking hippies. No, I don't care if you're sweet, and I don't care if you're nice either; you are a fucking piece of shit that I could easily break. Do not sit here and tell me you're a dom; you are not a dom. You WISH you were a dom, because you're too fucking ashamed to admit you're a sub.
Third thing I'm noticing:
Guys who just want to beat women; you're fucking cowards. Yes, you are a fucking coward, and I would even have the audacity to say that to your faces. The day any of you pieces of roadkill instill the fear of God into me is the day that I will join P.E.T.A., become a butch lesbian and weigh 500lbs. Until then, you fucks are nothing to me. I'm aware that punishment can be done with some sort of pain involved, but beating women for the sake of just beating them with no real rhyme or reason is just absolutely horrible.
Basically what you're doing is that you're trying to find a loop-hole out of domestic abuse, so when the cops come you can explain to them what's going on, and you won't face any charges. That's what you fuckers are doing. If I catch any of you fucks messaging me I swear to what ever omnipotent being allowed your STD-infested mothers to give birth to you in the first place, I will rip you a new ass-hole.
You don't scare me; you don't intimidate me; try and break me and I'll only become more resiliant.
Or wait here's an idea; how about you try and beat someone your own fucking size? Or are you just too scared, you balls-less horse-fucking jack-wagons.
I'm done |
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The movie "RED" is fucking awesome and hysterically funny. |
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I've met a lot of guys on here, and most of them I chat with a lot or whenever they're around, and for starters, I've got a bone to pick... And it's with YOU, bitches.
That's right, I'm calling you bitches, because I don't know you individually.
For starters - What fucking color is the sky in your world where you think it's okay to fucking scam guys into getting money? That's THEIR hard-earned money, and the fact that you lie about it is completely ridiculous. It's called a job, fucking get one you lazy pieces of vagina.
Secondly, shame on you for not communicating to these guys. I understand that you may not be interested in the guy, believe me, I've seen me in that situation. However, that's no excuse for being complete cunts, blocking them, and never giving them a response.
I know damned well that some of you would throw a HUGE hissy fit to all of your friends, your gay friends, and your gay friend's friends if that shit happened to you. I mean how do you think you start a relationship anyways? By being a fucking mute? Really? That's what you've all decided to do, huh? You've all decided to damage some of the nicest guys I've ever come to talk to by being complete dip-shits and not being direct with them? You collectively said "I want to give guys a passive-aggressive attitude because even though I'll message the guy and tell them I want to be their sub or slave I just won't follow through because I want to be a flakey cunt!" Do you have any idea what that does to the rest of us who are actually honest? Bitches you are cock-blocking us. Act your God damned age, not your shoe sizes.
You may be subs, but you're not fucking retarded, your fingers aren't broken, and you should at least give these men the decency of just fucking saying "No thank you, not interested." They may be doms but they're not fucking psychic.
Stop being hookers and taking their money - it's not fair to them, and it just makes you out to be a whore.
Thank you, that is all. |
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Nothing raises my endorphin level quite like grabbing the upper muscle fibers of my trapezius and pulling it off of the bone... LURVS it |
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For the record, I'm not a bot |
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Something I've got to get off of my chest:
No, I don't want to be a part of a dom/sub couple as another slave or sub. I'm sorry, but I don't fucking share, and I don't like to be shared, especially if there's another woman.
Poly-houses? No; fuck that noise. I'm sorry, but a poly house or anyone who is poly, to me their lives are like a Monet painting; from far away it looks beautiful but up-close it's a big ol' mess.
What on Earth is with you doms and wanting to cage women? If you really want to cage a living being and treat her like an animal...get a fucking dog. Sure you can't fuck it but who says you can't give that the old college try? "Well that's animal cruelty." It's also inhumane to keep people incarcerated even if it's willingly but that still happens.
What really confuses me are the doms who are REALLY into latex. I mean, personally I've never in my life, not once, woken up and said, "Hey, I want to look like a condom today! Yeah!"
To the guys that think of themselves as father-figures, especially ones close to my dad's age? I don't NEED a father figure. I have a dad and he's fucking awesome :D Just because I'm 24 and a sub doesn't mean I have daddy issues; maybe mama just likes to be rough and dirty in bed and behind closed doors is that so wrong?
And to all of you muscular little pussies that write in their profiles about getting what they deserve out of women? Build a bridge and get the fuck OVER yourself already! My God any man who clearly lives with that kind of narcissistic self-entitlement has GOT to have serious mommy issues.
And to the rest of you sons of bitches who think that it's cool to chat with me and expect me to do what you say; no. I'm going to make this VERY fucking clear to you little shits: You don't own me, thus and therefore, I am NOT in any way shape or form obligated to listen to a damned thing you say. No, not happening.
-sighs- Much better. Okay I'm done. |
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Weird questions I've always wanted to ask guys with huge dicks:
1. Have you ever considered putting a couple of thick tube socks on your penis, and using it as a bat to play tee-ball to see how far you could hit it?
2. After watching the movie "Space Balls" have you ever had the urge to wrap your penis in red or green seran wrap, and while having trouble getting it back into your pants, say, "Shit! I hate it when my shwartz gets all twisted!"
3. Ever think that your dick could be disguised as a tampon, and put a wrapping on it that says "Super Absorbant" for Halloween?
4. Have you ever tried doing the whole "Dick in a box" thing and find out that the box was too small?
5. Do you ever think that on Christmas you could decorate your penis like a candy cane and go to a party to see how many drunk or sober women you could convince to taste it to see if its flavor is genuine peppermint?
6. Do you happen to have an iPhone and download the "light saber" app and gently jerk your penis about in the mirror or letting another woman do it for the sole purpose of free amusement?
7. Have you ever wanted to attend your best friend's barbecue, put your dick in a large bun, and then handing it on a plate to the nearest person asking them if they wanted to add any mayonnaise to their potato salad?
8. Had you ever thought of putting your dick in a sort of thermometer disguise and for shits and giggles walk around a hospital trying to get some gullible patient to agree with you that what you have is in fact a "rectal thermometer" or "oral thermometer?"
9. Have you ever been tempted to invite a bunch of friends over for Rock Band, get them drunk, and then quickly whipping out your penis in their flat open hand when they ask you to give them a drum stick?
more on the way ^_^ |
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You can find money anywhere in the world, but the real treasures are the people you meet; the greater the friendship, the more priceless it becomes - Me |
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Being flogged makes me giggle my ass off :) |
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Yesterday...
I had to get up very early in the morning, around seven, so that I could be able to go and drive about an hour and twenty-two minutes north of where I reside to pick up my corset. The only one I'd ever owned was some cheap one from Hot Topic, with the flimsy plastic boning that never seemed quite right to me.
After picking up money to pay for it, the drive up there, although long, was quite therapeutic. For the past couple of weeks if not a month or so I'd been under a lot of stress because I've started-up summer classes. You'd think that someone in school for Therapeutic Massage would be someone very patient and calm; no, not me at least.
Having only half a tank of gas to get there and back, I didn't let it bother me as I drove. The highway turned into a freeway of twists and turns. The hurried, busy and cell-phone using drivers slowly decreased as I headed further north. The winding roads, craddled by the rocks stacked like crooked stairs were bursting with folliage that seemed to be aching to come out from cold and wet winter. The shades of green were abundant and ubiquitous, and letting my window down I could smell the plants, along with the gasoline emissions of the cars ahead of me.
When I finally arrived, I was waiting ever patiently, and I saw it; one of the weirdest things I think I'd ever seen at a rest stop.
I saw a woman with a neon green/yellow shirt...walking a llama. As someone who doesn't really care for people I love animals, and so my curiosity was so strong it drove me to stand up, and hesitantly approach. With lack of sleep from the excitement of acquiring my beloved corset, I wasn't quite sure how to ask the woman if I could pet her four-legged companion, so all that seemed to stumble out of my mouth from my tired brain was, "Excuse me Ma'am...ca-can I...pet your llama?" She obliged and told me that llamas like to be pet on the neck, and the llama's name was Little E. Its fur was soft, and its long neck pressed against my finger tips as I gave it a good scritching, and then followed its head, in almost in an undulating fashion, to help the animal check out what else was behind it and outside of its peripheral vision.
When I finally found my friend, I skipped over to her in a giddy fashion, handed her the money, and thanked her profusely for her assistance in helping me order it. When she showed it to me, my eyes grew big as if I were little again and getting my first American Girl doll. My smile was huge, and we both went to the bathroom to try it on. As I suspected, the corset fit like a dream, and the people at the rest stop, although giving me and my friend weird looks, I was immune, and too wrapped-up in the moment. I was just happy that I have it now, and I named my corset Lola...don't judge me.
When we were almost about to depart, and I was feeling rather guilty about wearing a corset around a rest stop up north, I told her I would have to remove it because those things are fucking hard to drive in, gave her a hug with a big grin on my face. Taking the corset off in the bathroom, I walked back to my car, and drove home with a tired, but still very accomplished smile on my face. |
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A word of advice to those whom are actively seeking submissives:
Look, clearly it's not my place to tell you what you should be, however, I've started to see a rather startling pattern of you members on this website who think it's honestly possible to find someone who will do "absolutely anything" for you.
Guys, as you and I both know - women can be flighty and very confusing creatures, but more importantly most women are heavily skeptical, and suspicious creatures. If you're going to ask what could seem to be the impossible to a certain degree, don't you think you would need to first establish a basis of trust or something? Surely that was your intention to begin with (for most of you), but you have to actually type it out so we can SEE it; females just have PMS - not to be confused with ESP.
And for those of you with a constant amount of animal photos such as lions mating lionesses...
Look, we get it, okay? You're a strong, dominant personality and you reign supreme in your own castle. However don't you think that maybe ONE picture of a male lion fucking a lioness would probably be enough rather than just beating in a dead horse about it? I mean for fuck's sake this is "collarme.com" not the world-wide-web for the sexually frustrated redundancy party.
I'm glad you know what you want, and I'm sure many women do, but considering this does happen to be a site for mostly dominant males, don't you think you'd want to list some other sort of interests in your profile aside from just "I want her to be my slave, make her do what ever I want, when I want." Although yes there is a fetish for degredation, it's all about the presentation of it; blatantly stating the obvious isn't always the best way to go about things. You're basically asking her to remove her own personal value as a human being right off of the bat, and while yes there are those rare birds out there that can do that on a whim - there is also a good handful of women who get chased off by that (me for example) because it's EXTREMELY off-putting.
And one more thing before I finish...
Fucking check your spelling for crying out loud! I mean if you want a "woman" at least try and remember that "woman" is singular and "women" is the plural form.
Thank you, that is all. |
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ppp Hahaha. I'm a man? Really fuckers? You don't have anything better to do with your time except report me as the opposite sex? lol That's just hilariously stupid |
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Quotes/pieces of literature/songs. that describe who I am:
"Bachelorette" by Bjork
"Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night" Dylan Thomas
"We all have to sleep some time" - Me
"If you want to lose, fight fair." - A friend of mine
"You're a dick!" - My ex boyfriend
"See, I tell you things, and then you make me regret telling you," Another friend of mine
"Doesn't matter to me if you stay or go, I'll find another man just like you." - Me |
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Female Submissive, 24
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Male Submissive, 23, Victoria B.C.
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Male Submissive, 41, LA, California
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Male Dominant, 26, beaverton, Oregon
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Male Submissive, 40, Phoenix, Arizona
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Female Switch, 43
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Male Switch, 33, Phoenix, Arizona
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Male Switch, 32, ontario
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Male Switch, 39, Puyallup, Washington
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Male Submissive, 44, pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
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Male Dominant, 23, orlando, Florida
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Male Submissive, 25, Varna
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