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	I will not have sex on any first meeting, so if that is what you want please keep moving. I have things I believe and sex is to be saved for once you know someone and want to move on with them. Oh well real life is full of people, challenges, goals and realities and for some the realities stay the same as they will never grow or become what is meant for them to become. I am a submissive no one can change that no one can take it away; it is what it is and nothing more. I can also be a sub when I am calmed and under a Dom, but that can not be one sides and just expect me to do and do and have nothing I need back at all. That is making me a slave and I WILL NOT be a slave ever. So if you want a slave please leave now. Being was sub is a thrill; it made you happy and gave me the warm fuzzes inside. It is not chores they are things to please your Dom and that you should enjoy and have fun doing. Yes cleaning can be fun I make it lots of fun, sometimes a little to much fun and OH! Being a sub is not all one sides you work and please the Dom to gain something back from him, not to just sit and wait that someday you might get a bread crumb from him. No it is a two way street. One can not do all the work and be there for the other and gain nothing back. So being a Dom or a sub is work and something you most work at each day as well. I am not a sub to be had by all something’s are not for others other then my Dom to see, I believe it should be kept that way. The thrill of something’s should belong to my Dom and his alone. So I am not going to go and do it with your friends or anyone else to please you that is not my cup of tea. I can be Poly with out me being shared with other men or women for that matter. Poly is about living together in harmony not to be passed around to everyone in the home. Well that might be the way it is for some but that is not what I am into or looking for.

I saw a thread a ways back, quite a ways back (lol) about whether submissives are inferior to Dominants.

Do you believe that to be the case? Are submissives inferior? Are Dominants Superior?

I think that they are equal and complement each other on different levels.

Perhaps the key lies within the wording(inferior) .

Inferior: This word would not be the correct on in this place, for the word Inferior makes the stereo type of the life style stand true and it would do harm to ones self-esteem.

Team: Would be a work to work together as a unit. As a sub I follow the team leader working together. We are joined and work together for a common good.

Perhaps there are different types of submissives?

I believe there are submissives who are just that. They are submissive by nature. They address all Dominants in a respectful manner. They do not get in people's faces. They do not intrude upon conversations. They wait, by their Owners side, patiently, ready to be of service, ready to answer politely, if addressed.

I can agree with this I also see a number of subs that do not seem to be submissive outside of the home or play time environment. So I have to say that yes there can and are different types of submissives.

This does NOT mean that they are doormats. This does not mean they are inferior. It simply means they are submissive.

Then there are submissives, who are in a D/s relationship. Are all of these truly submissives. .or have they assumed the role in that particular
relationship?

I think some just have learned to assume the role as others it is all they know how to do. They give whole Hartley no matter what they get back it is not always about getting back but trying to help others and to do what they can to help out in the relationships they are in.

They will tell you off, if they feel you are rude. Their profile may say "i am Owned and Collared" "AND IF YOU CAN'T READ, THEN FUCK OFF!"

Now, are they really submissive? That type of attitude certainly does NOT lead one to believe that. What if the "submissive" with the BOLD, RUDE, COMMENTS I mentioned on her profile, suddenly is single again?

Well I would say that is never a submissive attitude or what I was lead to be a part of the lifestyle, but then again we are all on a different level of what we believe and feel in regards to ones attitude.

Does that profile get changed now to "submissive flower seeking Dominant"?

I would not say that as a submissive one can not stand there ground and make a point, you might just need to do so with a little more tack. Not to say either that you just need to act like you are a weak and delicate flower.

I don't mean to imply that all submissives should be submissive to all Dominants. However, if you ARE a submissive, then be true to it.(just my preference, learned through the years)

I do not think that having some respect is being submissives to all Dominants.

I don't believe this to mean..a submissive should be seen and not heard. However, aren't submissives / slaves a reflection of their Owner.

Everything I speak and say is a reflection on my owner if it is meant to be rude or not, so it can be a hard walk to say things at times that do not affined others. It can be hard to try and think ahead to keep myself on the line where one needs to be all the time.

Wouldn't loud, perhaps rude behavior reflect badly on the Owner? Or better yet, wouldn't a submissive nature coupled with polite manners reflect well upon the
Owner.

I never can see where rude behavior can reflect well on ones owner or leader.

Is it about the Owner..or is it about the submissive who feels she has been treated rudely and isn't going to take it?

I think it is up to the unit together to draw the line on what they think is rude. And ones owner would be the leader to make that over all call. Some simply do not care how the sub acts or makes others think of them as a Dom, and no one can change that ever.

Thoughts?

Personally I think this is each their own all we can do is live by what we believe and feel is right for us in our personal relationships. And then act accordingly and either try to help others by leading with good examples, or just let them be. We are each on our own levels and brought up differently. So there is no wrong or right.

That is why I have respect to the old guard and they way they once lead the younger people into the lifestyle, they lead and taught things where earned not just taken or adapted or self proclaimed. Every title was earned and you learned a different set of norms and it gave you something to work and strive toward.

I want how I act to matter and I never want my Dom to be seen in a bad light, and at times it can be ground that just is hard. Others take things out of context and do not want to talk they just assume and that is where trouble can and does begin.

Nothing matters no matter what there needs to be communication and we all need to be much more tolerant of others and willing to grow with each other towards a common good. Just my three cents! Which I know is not worth that much.

okay first time meeting get it clear there will be no sex. I do not have sex with people that I do not know. So if that is what your looking for right away well I am the wrong person.

Thank you,

Submission:

Let’s look at a few facts to see if they can help you to understand who and what I am.

Submissiveness: is the incidence or trait of yielding to the expressed will of another person or some display of force.

People who are eager and willing to take on a recurring submissive role in a relationship or who fetishize the trait of submissiveness may seek out others that also share their interest or form long term pairing based on consenting to heighten the levels they feel of submission in their relationships.

Submission: An act or instance of submitting…submissive conduct or attitude.

Submissive: Inclined or willing to submit to order or wishes of others or showing such inclination. Devotion to ones job as it rules their life.

I am a submissive it is who and what I am and it is also what defines me as a person. You can not take it out of me and no one can change that either. My submission is the core of my being; it is what drives my heart and soul. You can take the sub of any relationship away and it will not make my submission go away it is the core of my being. You will only take away the inner joy that serving can bring, and you may even damage my soul some, but you can not make it ever stop, and I can not either. It will go one serving and doing for that is all I know how to do and can do, it is who and what I am….I am defined as a submissive.

I am not a slave and at times when I am under the service of another I am a sub, but no matter what I am always a submissive.

D/s allowed me to understand it all and in and with D/s I am allowed and granted the power exchange that makes me as a sub and a submissive to thrive and flourish and have the inner joys that one can gain in service. I can live and still service with out D/s but my heart and soul are not happy and I do not have the inner peace that makes it all just a happy feeling inside my heart and soul.

D/s gave me an understanding as well it provides the tool that allow the submission to work. D/s provides and defines things that keep and make my inner sub come to live and not live in things as a mess, in my submission.

I do better in D/s as a submissive to live under the disciplines which are given to us as part of our formation witch gives us guidance in our everyday life. Having discipline, structure, boundaries and accountability is not a new concept. Numerous societies, communities, religions, and probably even your workplace employ these primary principles. Our whole lives from birth until we pass on are about others telling you what to do and when you can do it. So why not have part of it defined and allow you an inner joy with and through it? A discipline can be having helped to maintain a daily calendar and/or a personal journal to help you and to allow you to be more organized in your submissive duties.

Submissiveness is an enriching experience, when one/I go beyond the bounds or personal comfort to satisfy and earn the praise of another. This is an uplifting experience which actually increases self-esteem and reduces personal negativity in ones self.

So where do the submissive tendencies come from? They come from the unknown in a mix I think of genes, nature and the nurturing you received as a child, your life experiences. This is what allows you to keep growing as a submissive, for the life experiences never stop, nor does your nutriments. As well in D/s your inner child is still nurtured with the lover and admiration of your Dom as he leads and directs your life. So you thrive in your submission it just all works.

As a submissive you are wise and you understand your womanhood/manhood. Often most submissive’s are very intelligent and one that understands the overwhelming power of ones own natural instincts. Submission has allowed you to fins clarity as well a way to earn in which is effectively expressed in the traits with in them selves. This can be a gained benefit to ones self as well to others around you as you can pass this on to others.

We all have defined freedoms and submission can and is just one of them, it can be an overwhelming freedom, as you have an inner desire to surrender and serve others around them. As well it can be an instinctive desire to express submission and a need for a balance, disciplined approach.

Human nature is constant one needs to discover and acknowledge who and what they are, once you do this it can be breath taking and even some over whelming.

D/s is not just about Love it is about respect and an unconditional respect of all involved in the relationship. D/s is a way to express ones self and give a pleasure or an enjoyment out of submission. This gives one a power exchange which is based on a two way trust and communication. Dominates need love just as if they need water and they need love just as they would need food, and as a Dominate they get the respect that they need in order for them to have what they need for them selves each and every day. Dominates need to believe in their submissive’s more then the submissive’s believe in themselves, and their abilities to do more. The Dominate needs to know they have the honor and loyalty in their homes and lives from the subs they hold in there care. Even in the bible it tells men to treat the women with respect AFTER they have taught the wives to behave respectfully before their husbands. You can see this for your self in I Peter 3:1-2. This is in the whole word that we live in and there is not escaping what it the way of the land in one way or another. The Dominate is to be respected not matter what and they are to feel it, just as the submissive is too loved and cherished no matter what. For this is a two way street and it goes both ways. It does not matter if you’re in a multi person home or not there needs to be a law and order not people just not having someone to follow. I know that for myself to be a sub and under the care of a Dom is the same as if I where married to them, in the aspects of my place under them.

Romantic love is not necessarily even a part of the D/s partners, there may not even have romantic relations at all. They do hold a different kind of an intimate and deep emotional relationship which allows the power to exchange between them.

Submissive’s in D/s do better living under the disciplines given to us as part to our formation which gives us guidance in our everyday lives.

So see I am a submissive and I do not have to be a sub or in a D/s relationship to be one, it is who and what I am to the core of my being and NO ONE can take it away or out of me; it is here to stay for the rest of my life.

Submissive’s need to have fun and I never want to lose the kid that is in me and yes at times it shows more then other times, but it is a part of me and it keeps life more fun then not having it around. The kid in my needs to be loved and nurtured and cared for as it is a part of the person who I am as a whole.

Submission can not be taken from you to driven out of you. People can not make it go away by tiring to make it leave. It is a part of you and no one seems to understand that. But by tiring to make it leave in another and trying to stop them from being what they are and need in life you can only mess with their heads and damage the will of the submissive. You can not take it away you just are being mean and abusing the person instead of allowing them to do what they are meant to and what they have been placed on this earth to do as well. And the submissive will never give up they can only do what they are meant to do and that is to serve. They will serve in different manners through the abuse of others. It is just sad that people have to stoop so low to try and hurt and abuse others to try and make a point that they can and will never understand. Submission is not just there it has a place in ones life and it is a part of the defining aspect of a person. It can not go away when it belongs to the core of ones being no matter how much people try to make it go away. Submission for many is just who and what they are and people need to stand up and accept it in others, not to try and destroy it and other people.

It matters not if you’re a sub or a slave, for me that is being owned and everyone owned or not is a submissive. I am not a sub when I am not owned for that has a place with a Dom and a special place in my heart. It is a defined place and one I hold dear. Too many do not understand this and we all use the terms differently for we are all different people and things mean and touch us differently as well.

What happen to loving one another and treating others as you wanted to be treated? I think people forget their roles in life and just stop thinking and only think for one reason and not how they should over all.

Just my three cents!

Okay, I am heading back to real life and done with my time of nothing useful for the most part. It was fun I enjoyed it but now it is time to be back in the real world. Away from games and things people enjoy doing to mess others up.

It is time to become me again and push to become the sub that longs to be let out from deep inside of me. I do not want to be part of any games or people that play them; I need to be me and allowed to be me as well.

D/s is where I need to be and where I want to be and I will strive to have it and not let go of it ever again, this has been a true learning experience for me and one no one should ever want to try.

Why do Dom's make profiles and say all the right thing and when it comes down to it well it is just not true?

Some might call me lazy...I do not think so. I do not think I could ever fit into that mind set and if you know much about me well I am far from lazy.

Most of the time lest say I am swamped, and yes I might not have the time that you wish I had but that does not make me lazy.

My Master Thesis comes before all else at this time, once it is finished well guess what? I will have more time.

Respect is a two way street and even a Dom needs to respect a sub. Being a Dom does not mean you are above all else and do not need to respect others.

Life has ups and downs and some people do not know how to respect others at all, and it matters if not if your a Dom or a sub you still should and most respect others.

There is no perfect relationship D/s or other wise all of them have ups and downs…it is called life.

You have to go step by step and experience both in order to grow and to learn which never stops happening. There is only a fantasy that there is a perfect life…wake up and smell the flowers there is no perfect relationship and or life.

All of us have challenges and that is good it has made us what we are today, I hope that the challenges never stop happening.

It has been a long week here and Grandchild #5 finely has arrived...it's a boy and all are doing well :-)

I have started back to class for the term and just need at times to find a way to have some play, leadership and guidance. Hmmm I think that is the dream and desire of every sub that I know.

Life can give you a lot of hard times it is what we do with them that matters in the end. Right now my life has many ups as well downs and I will keep fighting to just have as full of a life as I can to the end. No matter how hard things might be, life is what we make of it in the end. So stand tall and suck it up and keep moving forward in each day that you walk on this earth.

okay let me say that some men are jerks I did not mean that ALL men where. I think that people no matter how old they are have never grow up all the way to learn that one should have respect for others that they do not know. I see no reason that they need to have and use degrading terms with people they do not even know it is just rude.

Men are jerks and it is hard to just even take a word that any say with any value at all. They seem to just be little boys trapped in a large body. It is a shame that they just want to play games and get off, what a shallow life they lead.

Becoming friends is the first step into a lasting relationship of any kind. Not about sex and play and what you will do or will not do. Becoming friends is far more important to a lasting bound in an relationship. So why the rush to have it all, or to want to have sex? Slow down and just get to know others and then see what will happen next. Allow each other the time and the freedom to get to know each other, then jump to the next step. If you’re just looking for sex, or a sub to do what ever and have no relationship come of it well I guess that is okay, but that will not build you the foundation that is needed in a D/s relationship.

I am not sure why you even have a profile here it is not like it is read at all. You know it is not with the questions that people send you it is so sad.

It can take more then one person in your life at the same time to allow ones needs to be reached, to allow growth, and add challenges to a relationship. This is not a strange thing or even a new one, just one that I have accepted and embraced. One that allows me to grow and to learn and have new experiences in my life, so do not judge me for growing and learning each and every day.

There are far too many people in the world that just like to play games. I am not into that and the games suck. I think that over the last few months I see that Dom’s play more games then I hear out there of any subs. It is so sad that Dom's can not put into actions what they profess to be and say.

my profile has been updated once again. I saw some thing on there about obedience training? WOW ! are there really people that do this with people? I think it is a dream and a myth! I do not think Doms care they just aspect it to be done for them already! Maybe someday my standards will match up with a Dom and I can once again be at the happy place I long to be at now.

I need help with my Thesis project so please read profile.

finals are done and I have lived through them :-) Now my project and a paper to write and the rest of this summer is mine no classes until fall. YES! *does the happy dance*.......................PLAYTIME HAS ARRIVED!

Today is my last final...talk about a stressful week ! Wow now I need some major stress relief

WOW !! people do really read this. This is finals week for me so I am swamped trying to get some good grades. Which could be hard to do with out putting some effort into all of this.

I might have to even give that a try !

This last week has been hard I feel as if I am bouncing all over and hitting the wall on all sides. I want to hit the mark not the wall, just wish I knew how to allow that to happen.

A challenge that is a dream! To become a well groomed and well behaved submissive. To never have to wonder if I am doing things right or not, to just know. Can dreams ever come true?

thank you roanred for all your help and freindship, your the best.

This last week ahs been a long one with a lot of ups as well downs. Can it not be that there is even one persone that knows and understand what happens inside of a sub? One that can stand up and help her and allow her to grow, learn and lead her Dom on?

Life can be hard and it is hard to keep up with all I am doing right now. I am over whelmed and wish I had a release valve to help me out at times. Anyone that might know of a way to get such a valve please let me know.

It has been fun over the last few weeks of meeting new members in our area, and getting to know them some. I enjoy adding to the community and helping others get to know people so they are more at ease to attend the local munches.

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