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the new year begins and so many new possibilities exsist..i loved shooting off the party popers for the new year& being with my family over the holidays..which was kool & got to see a few movies...the best one i saw recently had to be Avatar...i didn't think i would like it as i never really liked the older cartoons..but the movie blew me away...lol defenitly asking for it for my upcoming birthday in March..i look forward to going back to school in the fall &i can't wait for it to get a lil warmer as we been having such below frezzing and slick&icy weather...i love the snow...but this extreme coldness gets to be to much at times..i think i'd love to go visit Wa over the holidays as it always so beautifull&i desperatly want to go out camping in the mountains this summer..they have some lovely cabins around here...but i love to pitch a tent&do lots of outdoorsy things as well..& i hope my new year's wish comes ture |
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I give Hyr back Her collar& ring today,a new chapter of my journey thus begins |
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time will come and time will go,
where you go who truely knows
people will grow and people will change'
but in ways we still remain the same
what's the choice and what do i choose,
someone will win and someone will always loose.
when you die will you be lost and alone,
will you be happy and fullfilled in a place that's home?
will you have found your true One,your Soulmate,your hearts desire?
or will your soul be screaming in angony wailing at the gates of fire?
when we enter a relationship we think it will never end.
Though ,it seems as we search the end: it truly just begins.
maybe it's not what you thought?
maybe it's not always so hot?
but what you love is deep in side
and the flame within will never subside
do you see yourself bended at the knees?
that One embraced upon feeling your needs.
even as we grow older still,our bodies, changing and our parts getting "over the hill":
do you look upon your Other Half as still your Little hottie?knowing that They will always "fit your bill?"
Do you look into Thier eyes ,
and search the Soul that is there inside?
The Soul that was searching for you,
you felt it in your heart and knew it was true.
the One that made you feel complete
with the peacefull silence They offered in Thier arms and at Thier feet
you might wonder will it be all be peaches and cream?
Or at times you might want to kick and scream wanting to kick Thier pants at the seams.
but what you remember is what is in your heart
the promise that was made never to part
to be together through thick and thin
to have the great privelege of holding Thier hand even intill the end
And to remember a Love that once was and always will be true
and the conection and the bond we have that's called me/You
the ying and yang
that our hearts have always sang
though all eternity
the way it was meant to be
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Daddy's Home,i hear the key click in the door..my heart races..I know I am in deep trouble.You told me to take a nap and have dinner ready when You get home..a simple request though i let the toils of the day overcome me and did not get to lay down and i am just finishing dinner up as You open the door(You have already called me 45 minutes ago to say You are running late when You asked about my day..and when i told You..You said I see..girl lay my paddle out and my thick black leather belt..I will be home directly..have my dinner hot and ready)..the door creaks open and i instantly see Your eyes.. they pierce my soul..my eyes speedly find there place as my heart drops into my stomach(as i had catch a glimpse of Your workin belt/Your Daddy belt..and even though i am in so much trouble i can't help but cream and get dripping wet at the sight of You belt..and Your piercing blue eyes staring dn at me..and that sharp black shirt and those tight black jeans that fit You just right....my legs start to go weak and i almost cream and melt right there on the spot)..(You already know what i'm thinking)...You shake Your head..girl,Do you ever learn?..i quickly go to Your chair and kneel in position with Your dinner plate..You shake Your head no..and point to our room in the cabin...(i hear)position..instantly my hands are on my thighs as i stand there at the wall..You whisper into my ear..Don't even move a millameter girl and before i can even think i feel Your leather crack my ass..the wind whishes in my ears and my skin is all tingly..i take a breath and the 2nd then the 3rd come crashing dn..I smell the leather mixing with my sweat as it hits my skin mixed in with the smell of You..Your deorderant You everything..i am trying to hold my balance and not move but the blet picks me up with each pounding thrust..i am trying to be tuff..not to make a song..it hurts so bad....and You are correcting as i have been naughty again..i didn't hear You..You twist my nipple harsh..to get my attetion..Answer Me girl..Yes Myster escapes from from my trembling body..as i try to keep from cumming with the sharpness of the pleasure n pain starting to mix..yes Myster i will have Your dinner ready on time and take my nap acordingly...the next thing i feel is the paddle whizzing through the air as it goes swiftly through the holes that You've drilled in it..the swing of Your force on Your paddle blows me off ballance and i try to catch myself..but You grab me and throw me on the bed..then You grufly sit on it and pullme over Your lap as You say"I toldyou not to move,as Your hand comes swinging down time and time again..i am trying to beg with You and pled but it falls on death ears..i am getting the beating i deserve..my mind can't help but to wonder to that place where You often take me when i have to be corrected ..or we play...i can't feel the strokes anymore..as they have become like feathers..or the sation You tease me with from time to time..i rise to meet You..my ass belongs to You and it becons for it's owner..i can't help but to start to wriggle as my clit pounds into your jeans with every thrust of Your belt as You so willing use it now..i lose since of time and space..my juices leek dn Your legs..i gush knowing tomorrow i will have the most beautifull bruises that my Myster has given me...You reach around to pull my nipple sharply..not yet girl(i want to ride Your leg as i needed so bad)..the belt and paddle merge and i don't know what's what anymore..You throw me on the bed doggie ..and You enter me..Your 12 inch strappie fills and stretches me to the hilt instantly..You pull my hair bringing my head back as You pound into me ruthlessly and... |
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is A/anybody out there?(i feel so alone at times,don't you?..guess we're all human...hugh |
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Do you ever miss the physical?.. I mean the mental/emotional connection is great.. though..at times I so long for a night of cuddles.. and i do so miss physically serving..(the physical pleasing of your One)...though they say good things happen to those who are patient.and wait..so here's hopin..hope A/all you are well out there hugs chanty |
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latest news:grins on Feb 17,my Girlfriend/Fiance of 4 years(.. this coming July3 is the 4 yr anniversary) gave this one a collar of training..grins even bigger as of Feb 24,2008 Marni placed this collar of training around my neck as Hyr girl..smiles i am owned..(this is in real F/folks .. this one's collar is black leather and is fationed after my Syr's belt.. Be Well a/all huggies chanty |
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reposting this..as i want people to think about it..what do you mean when Y/you tell someone you love them?
for Her what I believe it means when I say, " I love You" or what it means to be" totally head over heels in love with someone(with You)" think of Me the first thing when You wake up in the morning..and the last thing You think about as You fall asleep at night... feel with Me,be with Me,"shout to world that You love Me"...that I am Yours forever...claim Me on Your bank accounts,Your morgatages,Your yahoo IDs..(put a ring on my finger and a collar on my neck as a sign of Our love ..being whats in Our hearts..to be together forever)put me on Your everythingand anything..let the world know that We are We and nothing holds in Our way...hold My hand,look deeply into My eyes(Our souls connecting)holding My hand so close to You that i feel you breath upon mine..miningling as it becomes One.. and claim Me as Your Wife in front of "Him".... for now and forever..dance with Me Baby(alone..in the rain..or with others..it does not matter..all that matters is Us..as everything blurs away into the mists of time..all that left is Us)....make love on the beach with Me...waves crashing all around Us, cry with Me,..hold Me close...make love with Me...laugh with Me...love Me..don't be afraid to "feel"... to trust... to love...Does Your breath catch when I enter the room>>Your knees going weak..Your heart beating wildly compressing everything into that one moment and time...(as when I see You my whole world stops..to come alive again..completly..becouse Your in it)...hold My hand and hold Me closer still...don't let Me go....grow with Me...know with Me... get old with Me..do something spontanious with Me..for Me..becouse of Me..forgive Me,for I am mere Human and during Our journey;We will hurt the Ones We love the most from time to time..it is not mallance..remember the truest love that We have for Each Other..let it pass and let Us learn from it(so it will not happen again ..or so often)..and in so doing use it for Us growing so much closer together...never,never let Our heads hit the pillows w/o resoling Our fight..and renewing Our love and vows to each other..as life is to short..and there could be no tomorrow...become a better person and a new and different Person becouse of My love for You..for Us..let's die in each others arms(and if "He "takes Me before You..I'll be waiting on You..watching over You..and if "He" takes You first..My Love...wait for Me and guide Me till i am with You once again)..Hold Me first in Your heart of hearts only after God alone...treasue Me like no other...let Us let go of the baggages of Our past and cleave to Each Other,..totally and completly..Trust in Me..in Us...in Our love for each other...for a brillant future together...stay with Me..."Forever"...through good and bad times alike..."take a chance on Our love"...fall with me...journey with Me..know that i love You with all that I am and All that I am to be(with Your love behind Me).. love Me with all that You are and ever wish to be(with Me there to guide You and stand beside You)live today for all its worth..forget about tomorrow(it will come and pass..what We have "right now" is today..)cherrish today for anything and everything it has to offer(as "He might pull me..and You will need that strength and engery of those precious times that We have together..to help You carry on..or throughout Our lives together as go through and endure those bad times ..as well as the good)...know if We die tomorrow what it truely means to "Love".."and be totally head over heels in Love with each other"...don't make Me beg..don't make me wait...I've been there all along(waiting for You)..You think You had met Your One before..but You didnt..it was Your soul and spirit preparing for Me..don't be afraid to see it..admit it ..in Your hearts of hearts..don't let oppurtunity pass You by..I am here and have waited a life time for You..let it loose.. let it be..be free and come to Me in Our Love...let it out..take a chance.."Trust in Me"...take Me for what I am..love me for Me..though help Me become a better person..push Me when i need that extra shove..hold Me and caress me when i am afraid or lonely..remind me..as i remind You that We are not alone anymore..that We are one..and will face the world Together..no don't be afraid..don't hold back..I need You ..as You need Me..reley on me..lean on Me..I am here for You..as You are for Me..Join Me,in Our Journey..I wait for You..as always..breath Me in..feel My presence..My verry soul..as I breath Yours..watch Me sleep (my chest rising and falling as i dream of You .."as My Wife")..know that experience as I have had many of times as I watch Your Beautifull Form sleeping next to Mine..Do You hear it?..Do You hear Our hearts beating as One?..just like when We finish each others sentences or know each other thoughts before We even say it....My love don't be angry..life is to short..laugh with me(lets help each other keep young at heart,as I plan on having You around a verry verry long time)...when I'm sad..kiss away my tears as I long to kiss Your tears away when Your having a not so good day..expose Yourself to me..completly..totally uterly...and in so doing..knowing that I love You inside and out..for anything and everything You are(knowing all along what was there..accepting Your hurt and your pain..Your joy and Your love..everything all tied into one)..don't be afraid to let Me touch You... I will not hurt You..I am not those of Your past...I can heal You if You but just give Me the chance....let me carress Your soften skin or or feel Your feathered hair within My hands ,as I breath You in..I want to see You..every part of You..both inside and out..don't You see that You are beautifull to me..the most beautifullest person in the world.. and that I love You unconditionally for everything and anything You are..and are to become..with Our Love behind You...don't You see w/o You I am not complete..never deney that part of Yourself..any part of Yourself..as to deney any part of Yourself is to deney Me..(Our exsistance Together)..as We are One...let Me pull You close.. for You to make love with Me ..for Us to make Love Together..make Love with Me as You have never did with anyone else in Your life..Go with Me to Our space..the one You've made for Us..that We've made for each other. deep within side Ourselves...go with me there..let go..feeling everything and all things in time..exploding into the universe..falling into each other..losing Yourself in Me and I within You..into Our Own world Together..where time stands still and eternity reaches before Us.. Us coming Together as One...as "God" intended it...no walls..no boundaries..loving Each Other...completly..totally..waking in each Others arms..just like I want to do for the reast of My life..for the rest of Our lives together .. till we breathe Our last breath Together( and even after We leave this plain for ever and all times...) come with me My love..My future chatell(My future Wife)..Join with Me..so W/we may become One.. the ying and yang of each other..for all eternity n bliss...."this" is what I mean..when i say,"I love You" for Her..with Love from Me
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just here to check messages and really just stopped in to say "Happy Valentines Day E/everyone!!!"...be well huggies chanty |
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does anyone know on here where to go for free litature or free downloads of BDSM material or BDSM books(i so want to read o..or screww the flowers send me the roses..and I cant seem to get to the castlerealm site anymore..does anyone know about that..did they close it dn or they just under construction or something..til next time Be well All safe journies huggies chanty |
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I am here to write in my journal this morning,and(as often happens in life),somethings just don't make since to me:ok like Someone says thier your One Your Dom..Life mate..your thier only other(You know You see and hear about this kind of thing all the time)..but this same one sudennly becomes distant;or with thier bussy schedule at their offices,or school or work they don't have time to talk or type to you anymore..or maybe they wont have those naughty late session conversations with You on the phone anymore..I dont understand this..if you were truely thier one(thier slave or submissive)then they would make that time to be with you...as you would be so important to them to be a part of thier daily life..I mean come on folks..You could take but just a minute to call on your lunch break to say hi..I'm thinking about you..or i love you babe..if they are really that one they should light up your day..and you should want them as part of your daily life..and if your in love..(truely in love)your heart will want to do these spontanious things..these simple but take a few moment things...and I dont get this if someones your life mate,why deney them..dont be ashamed or whatever it is to acknowledge them..put them on your everything..bank accounts to profiles..why should it matter to You..becouse to us.as submissives or slaves its important for that reconigition..that place of belongs.that feeling of being of being whole of being someones mine..I dont understand and get tired of all these players..you know the ones..that getyou..they take you... they say your thier..and that you are destin to be with them forever..you are what was meant to be..you will or are to be thier everything .. your thier one..then they put you on some shelf.. then when they got you theyto go on to the next person that they will tell the exact same thing to(i bet if you could look in thier accounts or phone logs they have lists of people they played..or whatever they want to call it in thier minds)...atleast be honest..I atleast have respect For the Masters/Mistress etc that are up front about that ..when they say they have many are they are looking for more than one etc(like poly etc)..and come on..I have lived in real and almost have been in the lifestyle now for going on my 7th year..why dont people on here know what it means to I just want friends..lets just be friends..i get tired of all those so called dommes..that when you say friend..it is thier goal..to breakyou.. ..lets see if i can make her mine(its a game or conquest..i dont know whats up with them...then when they are done they just throw you awayput you on some shelf..or make you some number..you see it everywhere on line these days and that is just sad and wrong.I remember the days when you could actually meet people on line who were real didnt play games..and knew what it meant to be a friend..and I still have many of these friends today..and know them in real as well..have we as a socity detorated so greatly that it has become just one endkess maze of fakes and degenerates..I dont understand..someone please explain it to me(I think my defination of player is someone that cant verify who they are..like if your friends..gotten close..or thier your trainer..or Dominant..you should have thier address ..phone number etc..if they are real that it shouldnt be a problem..if they have a problem with that then the best bet is they have something to hide..or they are not sinsere or a true friends..I mean my friends(my true friends) can call me 24/7 if they needed to and vise versa..and I might send them something snail mail..or they might surprize me with a inspirational card in the mail..I mean if we are real..than we are real..if we are not..well then that says it all)..I just get so tired of seeing all these played and hurt about me..and i believe even though we are submissive or slave..we are also partners..wifes husbands mothers friends..etc..so we have rights..we have to live in vanilla as well..and its ying and yang that makes a whole..you bounce each others..it should be equal in some acpects(like wife/wife..orhusband/wife etc0..in your gonna have my account info..i'm gonna have yours..as it should be that way..as life and trust which is a verry big part of life is a two way street...you both must walk dn it equally in vanilla part of your world(as far as things like trust issues)..see a dom must trust to..and give of them selves just as much(if not more as thay are the teacher)..i know i always give my best..but i exspect you to also..thats the way it should be..you should balence each other out..I'm tired of all this hurt..pain..and players and want to be..what happened to all the real..(i will not give up as there must be real people out there..are Y/you there..can Y/you be someones friend..can You be real and be yourself...i quest..till next time Be Well and safe journies huggies chanty |
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You know as i think and reflect,i feel so much pain and saddness for those of us who have been hurt by other and especially those who have been hurt by others in the lifestyle.I ask myself,why does there have to be this emotional pain and heartace in the world?Why do we have to hurt each other?You know there are many types in this big old world of ours.In this lifestyle there are what people call players.You know the ones..they want you,to have you,a possesion;and when they have you they are done,they put you on a shelf and go to the next victim;as the one on the shelf patiently waits for Them to return thinking there is no other..but if thier heart could but see the others lying on the shelf with them. and Then there are the ones in our life style that have been hurt(Dom and sub alike) so bad that they can not let go;there is this barrier that is in place that will not let someone have full access to thier heart..they always (weather they realize it or not)..hold you at a distance..You know the ones that dont feel that kind of love..(you know that kind of love that makes you call your other just becouse..your a part of thier wolrd all day all night ..becouse you are so head over heels in love with them..you know the love i'm talking about..can't sleep,can't eat.when you think of them you radiate)..but we that have been hurt..alot of us..cant let go..cant trust again..isn't that so sad..Why?Why does there have to be so much pain in the world?I wish we could but just push a button and fix it..I wish others couls see what i do..life is to short folks..love each other a lil more..don't cast someone a way cause they have been hurt..hold those ones closer to you..so they may see the light radiate within you..show them..teach them..what love is.(there is all kinds of love..from friendship love,,family love..or head over heels love)..i believe dear people that we are here to help each other..weather be a smile..a hug..a good morning..weather its an accantance,or long time campanion..we are all here for a purpose...i believe mine is to help another..1 act of random kindness..do that for me my friends and family(as we ..as humans..as spirits/souls are all connected..we are all family)..one act of random kindnes..and the next time you go to turn somone away,or done with them,or just dont have the time to talk to someone..remember..what will you say about tomorrow..when your time is up..for this life..did you help your fellow man/woman..did you love someone when they thought they were unlovable..did u tell someone they are important..did you stop to sit on the park bench with them to enjoy that happy moment of peace as you look on the splenders of todays world..what will you have to say for yourself when this life time is over..i pray,that i do justice,that i made a smile,a friend,i helped someone,i gave some one inspration,or hope..i hope i bring love,compasion,and a lil bit more understanding in the world..i hope i am there for those that need me..that i take a moment to care..i hope i laugh..and i have so many of you wonderfull people in my life...what do you wish..what do you what to accmplish is this life..whats important to you..well i have wrote enouh for time being..I wish all of you safe journies and may your life be full of lots of love and laughter always..till next time huggies chanty |
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yesterday late evening i found out my grandmother had passed away..i loved her so dearly..she was like a mom to me after my mother had passed..so many years ago...she had taught me something(years ago..that finally kicked in)..she told me you might have your true love(or your soul mate) for maybe just a brief moment in time.. or maybee for a life time..or maybee you won't have that experience at all..but true love.. the truest form of expression of love or to truelly love someone is to stick by there side..its the one willing to travel the road with you..that truely loves you.. these are the people that will always be there for you..(weather you've known them for a long time or if they have newly come into your life)..those are the ones worth thier weight in gold..it made me think you know.. how blessed i truelly am to have all you in my life..thank Y/you to A/all those who have touched my life..may God blesss You ten fold to those of you..who were..are and will always be a part of my my life and heart.. i love you and thank you for those precious times (and precious times ahead)in my life..and may you find and be in happiness always.. and only experience love and laughter all Y/your life long |
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i am just here reading and reflecting on my journal entries(don't know how many P/people really read these )..Have Y/you ever thought about finding that "One"..will you know..or will you be clouded by the world..or will She know..or will She be clouded by the world..will they see you..the one within.. will you see Her.. Her trueset form within..or will E/either of Y/you be to hurt or broken by past loves to realize what's in front of Y/you..and the O/ones that Y/you leave behind..what happens to them..i believe that the O/ones your with or that you have been with leave an inprint ..an impression on Y/your soul...a part of them..goes on in you..i believe that about everyone you love and that is a part of your life(family,friends,lovers,parners,etc.)..well good night journal..i have to try to get myself to bed...Be Well A/all..safe journies.. till next time huggies chanty |
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Why is it that so many of Lesbians films end so badly?They are heart wrenching or sad to tear at O/one spirit or soul.Why can't we have a movie about Lesbians that ends joyous and happy ,into our loved one's arms?(Now there are the rare cases like the story sequences one and two on "If these walls could talk2 "or "When Night is falling"But,in general alot of Lesbians movies end sad,or in dismay or yet even death)Of coarse i am Lesbian so this so saddens me.I so wish there were more inspirational stories for me and my sister Lesbians.We have so much to deal with on our daily basis,that we don't need it reflected yet again in the movies.We need inspiration!Where is it? I long for it don't Y/you?Then, on top of that have Y/you looked on movies that reflect O/our BDSM lifestyle?It's such a shame that in todays society it's reflected so badly? I wish they knew what it felt like to give a gift of submission to Another.They could feel the deep pride and respect and oh such love we subs/slaves feel when kneeled at our Maysters/Mistresses/Sirs/Syrs?Etc feet as They look on us with such love that it radiants.(Y/you know the feeling i'm talking about?)or if they could but feel for a moment in time what we feel as we enter sub space,exploding into the universe) Why can't there be a movie about a submissive and her Mistress falling totally in love.You know the one where they find each other after searching A/all thier lives for each other.It could maybe even show Her collaring Her girl,as thiers souls connect for all of time and eternity n bliss.Then maybee,just maybe the vanilla world(that W/we A/all live in) would understand better,have more acceptance,and for A/all of U/us it could be an inspiritational instrument to carry U/us on,lighten O/our day and give U/us hope....just some thoughts..i wish E/everyone well and safe journies hugs chanty |
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for Her what I believe it means when I say, " I love You" or what it means to be" totally head over heels in love with someone(with You)" think of Me the first thing when You wake up in the morning..and the last thing You think about as You fall asleep at night... feel with Me,be with Me,"shout to world that You love Me"...that I am Yours forever...claim Me on Your bank accounts,Your morgatages,Your yahoo IDs..(put a ring on my finger and a collar on my neck as a sign of Our love ..being whats in Our hearts..to be together forever)put me on Your everythingand anything..let the world know that We are We and nothing holds in Our way...hold My hand,look deeply into My eyes(Our souls connecting)holding My hand so close to You that i feel you breath upon mine..miningling as it becomes One.. and claim Me as Your Wife in front of "Him".... for now and forever..dance with Me Baby(alone..in the rain..or with others..it does not matter..all that matters is Us..as everything blurs away into the mists of time..all that left is Us)....make love on the beach with Me...waves crashing all around Us, cry with Me,..hold Me close...make love with Me...laugh with Me...love Me..don't be afraid to "feel"... to trust... to love...Does Your breath catch when I enter the room>>Your knees going weak..Your heart beating wildly compressing everything into that one moment and time...(as when I see You my whole world stops..to come alive again..completly..becouse Your in it)...hold My hand and hold Me closer still...don't let Me go....grow with Me...know with Me... get old with Me..do something spontanious with Me..for Me..becouse of Me..forgive Me,for I am mere Human and during Our journey;We will hurt the Ones We love the most from time to time..it is not mallance..remember the truest love that We have for Each Other..let it pass and let Us learn from it(so it will not happen again ..or so often)..and in so doing use it for Us growing so much closer together...never,never let Our heads hit the pillows w/o resoling Our fight..and renewing Our love and vows to each other..as life is to short..and there could be no tomorrow...become a better person and a new and different Person becouse of My love for You..for Us..let's die in each others arms(and if "He "takes Me before You..I'll be waiting on You..watching over You..and if "He" takes You first..My Love...wait for Me and guide Me till i am with You once again)..Hold Me first in Your heart of hearts only after God alone...treasue Me like no other...let Us let go of the baggages of Our past and cleave to Each Other,..totally and completly..Trust in Me..in Us...in Our love for each other...for a brillant future together...stay with Me..."Forever"...through good and bad times alike..."take a chance on Our love"...fall with me...journey with Me..know that i love You with all that I am and All that I am to be(with Your love behind Me).. love Me with all that You are and ever wish to be(with Me there to guide You and stand beside You)live today for all its worth..forget about tomorrow(it will come and pass..what We have "right now" is today..)cherrish today for anything and everything it has to offer(as "He might pull me..and You will need that strength and engery of those precious times that We have together..to help You carry on..or throughout Our lives together as go through and endure those bad times ..as well as the good)...know if We die tomorrow what it truely means to "Love".."and be totally head over heels in Love with each other"...don't make Me beg..don't make me wait...I've been there all along(waiting for You)..You think You had met Your One before..but You didnt..it was Your soul and spirit preparing for Me..don't be afraid to see it..admit it ..in Your hearts of hearts..don't let oppurtunity pass You by..I am here and have waited a life time for You..let it loose.. let it be..be free and come to Me in Our Love...let it out..take a chance.."Trust in Me"...take Me for what I am..love me for Me..though help Me become a better person..push Me when i need that extra shove..hold Me and caress me when i am afraid or lonely..remind me..as i remind You that We are not alone anymore..that We are one..and will face the world Together..no don't be afraid..don't hold back..I need You ..as You need Me..reley on me..lean on Me..I am here for You..as You are for Me..Join Me,in Our Journey..I wait for You..as always..breath Me in..feel My presence..My verry soul..as I breath Yours..watch Me sleep (my chest rising and falling as i dream of You .."as My Wife")..know that experience as I have had many of times as I watch Your Beautifull Form sleeping next to Mine..Do You hear it?..Do You hear Our hearts beating as One?..just like when We finish each others sentences or know each other thoughts before We even say it....My love don't be angry..life is to short..laugh with me(lets help each other keep young at heart,as I plan on having You around a verry verry long time)...when I'm sad..kiss away my tears as I long to kiss Your tears away when Your having a not so good day..expose Yourself to me..completly..totally uterly...and in so doing..knowing that I love You inside and out..for anything and everything You are(knowing all along what was there..accepting Your hurt and your pain..Your joy and Your love..everything all tied into one)..don't be afraid to let Me touch You... I will not hurt You..I am not those of Your past...I can heal You if You but just give Me the chance....let me carress Your soften skin or or feel Your feathered hair within My hands ,as I breath You in..I want to see You..every part of You..both inside and out..don't You see that You are beautifull to me..the most beautifullest person in the world.. and that I love You unconditionally for everything and anything You are..and are to become..with Our Love behind You...don't You see w/o You I am not complete..never deney that part of Yourself..any part of Yourself..as to deney any part of Yourself is to deney Me..(Our exsistance Together)..as We are One...let Me pull You close.. for You to make love with Me ..for Us to make Love Together..make Love with Me as You have never did with anyone else in Your life..Go with Me to Our space..the one You've made for Us..that We've made for each other. deep within side Ourselves...go with me there..let go..feeling everything and all things in time..exploding into the universe..falling into each other..losing Yourself in Me and I within You..into Our Own world Together..where time stands still and eternity reaches before Us.. Us coming Together as One...as "God" intended it...no walls..no boundaries..loving Each Other...completly..totally..waking in each Others arms..just like I want to do for the reast of My life..for the rest of Our lives together .. till we breathe Our last breath Together( and even after We leave this plain for ever and all times...) come with me My love..My future chatell(My future Wife)..Join with Me..so W/we may become One.. the ying and yang of each other..for all eternity n bliss...."this" is what I mean..when i say,"I love You" for Her..with Love from Me |
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ok your always asked...what does submission mean to you...i understand why they ask that and so often now...it means something different every time throughout your..thats life why your asked...becouse we grow and change...hopefully we become deeper into ourselves..connect deeper to who we are and what we want to be.. so it changes as we grow and expand..and everyones submission/slavery is different...so that means something different to eacg and every one of us..later E/everone..safe journeys...be blessed and be happy..huggies chanty
The BDSM Prayer
Author Unknown
Blessed are the Dominants, whose willingness to exercise responsibility for a submissive is the foundation of our Lifestyle.
Blessed is the submissive, whose only true joy and desire is to serve.
Blessed are the Tops whose careful and knowledgeable application of pain can make us fly beyond ourselves and reach peaceful heights of self-awareness.
Blessed are the bottoms who cheerfully and trustingly yield their bodies and becomes the Instrument for a Tops virtuosity.
Blessed are the Masters and Mistresses who realize the great gift they've been given and dedicate themselves to utilizing that gift with love and care.
Blessed are the slaves who find that One special person they can trust wholly and completely without fear so they may yield their hearts, minds, bodies, and souls without reservation.
Blessed are the newbies, may they know only joy in this Lifestyle.
Blessed are those whose trust has been broken, may they find those who'll help them heal, and may they once again build up the courage to extend trust once more.
Blessed is the Collar, the external symbol that binds two hearts and minds together.
Blessed are we all, for we are all bound together by the ties of our Lifestyle, which will forever separate us from the world at large.
Author Unknown
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an old poem of mine(from when i was with my x Mistress..Devotion..about 6 years ago)
The Collar
Here it sets upon her neck
reminding her to always keep in check
and as you look yet deeper still
as the creast comes upon the hill
deeply etched upon the leather
the worn writing glides like a feather
the endeared beloved words of her One's desire
the One that sets her heart upon a blazing fire
to know such love exsisits
brings her to total abliss
as she knels upon her knees
the One knowing all her needs
she remembers the day softly it bent
upon her neck it gently went
placed with love
from above
softly She held her head up high
to look deeply into Her loved one's eyes
as T/they promise to be side by side
and to no O/others T/they shall ever abide
Her words are softly swept
as She hears Her lilone's same request
Till death do U/us part,
W/we beat as O/one heart
The collars promise is meant to send,
that My love for you will never end
together W/we will always be
as the endless flowing of the sea
a smile crosses the lilone's face
her eye's filling over with a loving glaze
...as she remembers when
this all just begined
upon her neck it gently sits
and how much love this is all meant
...a friend gave this to me..after a break up..going through a trying time in thier life...(that was passed on to them..and so on)thought i'd share
Please Hear What I Am Not Saying
Don't be fooled by me.Don't be fooled by the face Iwear.I wear a thousand masks.masks that I am afraid to take off and none of them is me.Pretending is an art that's a second nature with me but don't be fooled.for God's sake don't be fooled.I give the impression that I'm secure.that all is sunny and unruffled with me.within as well as without.that confidence is my name and coolness my game;that the water's calm and I'm in command,and that I need no one.But don't believe me.Please.
My surface may seem smooth.but my surface is my mask.Beneath this lies no complacence.Beneath dwells the real me in confusion,in fear,and aloneness.But I hide this.I don't want anyone to know it.I panic at the thought of my weekness and fear of being exposed.That is why I frantically create a mask to hide behind.a nonchalant,sophisticated facade to help me pretend to shield me grom the glance that knows.But such a glance is precisely my salvation.My only salvation.And I know it.That is if it is followed by acceptance.if it is followed by love.It is the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself.that I am worth something.
But I can't tell you this.I don't dare.I am afraid to.I am afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance and love.I am afraid you will think less of me.that you will laugh at me and your laugh would kill me.I am afraid that deep down I am nothing,that I'm no good and you will see this and reject me.So i play my game,my desperate game with a facade of assurance without and a trembling smile within.And so begins the parade of masks.And my life becomes a front.
I iddly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk.I tell you everything that is really nothing and nothing of what is everything of what is crying within me;so when i am going through my routine,do not be fooled by what i am saying.Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying.what I'd like to be able to say,what for survival I need to say,but what I cannot say.
I dislike hiding,honestly!I dislike the superficial game I am playing.the phony game.I'd really like to be genuine and spontaneous,and me,but you've got to help me.You've got to hold out your hand,even when that's the last thing I seem to want.Only you can wipe away from my eyes the blank stare of breathing death.Only you can call me into aliveness.Each time you are kind and gentle and encouraging,each time you try to understand because you really care,my heart begins to grow wings,verry small wings,verry feeble wings,but wings.With your sensitivity and sympathy and your power of understanding,you can breathe life into me.I want you to know that.
I want you to know how important you are to me,how you can be the creator of the person that is me if you choose to.Please choose to.You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble,you alone can remove my mask.You alone can release me from my shadow-world of panic and uncertainty.from my lonely person.Do not pass me by.Please do not pass me by.
It will not be easy for you.A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.The nearer you approach me,the binder I strike back.I fight against the verry thing I cry out for.But I am told that love is stronger than walls and in this lies my hope.Please try to beat down those walls with firm hands but with gentle hands for a child is verry sensitive."Who am I?"you may wonder.I am someone you know verry well.For i am every man and every woman you meet.
this next writings is from a woman of great strength..great love..great wisdom..a beautifull mother.. an awesome wife... a powerfull and inspirational submissive who gave her everything and her all..living life to it's fullest..may W/we A/all live such a life...for you Judith..may you live on though U/us A/all
..a writing that is now part of my heart... I understand I will be exposed to my Mistress whether I intend it or not. I understand I am vulnerable to Mistress's will. I understand I am Hers,when every pore in Me fights to defy Her. I understand to Her My soul is pure,no matter how I have tried to convince Her or Me of it's impurities. I understand She will devour Me,no matter the coarse or strength of My resistance. I understand She will consume Me,no matter how unappetizing I try to make Myself. I understand She makes Me complete,regardless of how incomplete I might struggle to appear. I understand She(M) is My Mistress,regardless of any feeling of flight that foolingshly seduces Me. I understand I will be used,no matter what exposure of My soul may result from this usury. I understand My neck dorns Her collar,no matter what rights I may foolishly believe I have over it. I understand My throat needs Her presence to breathe freely,no matter how choked for breath I become as She peers into My soul. I understand I am slave,no matter how difficult a slave's acceptances may be. I understand I live to please Her,no matter the requirements of that pleasure. I understand I will beg to Her without pride,no matter the results of My pleas. I understand She holds the keys to My passion,no matter what might tempt My attentions. I understand Her true reward is My complete emotional release,regardless of any barriers that I have constructed. I understand that Now is the answer to all the Questions of when I should acquiesue to Her,regardless of My foolish behavior designed to make Her wait. I understand that God has constructed the plan,regardless of how inconceivable it may seem to My mortal mind. I understand that peace lies at the feet of My Mistress,no matter how peacefull it may seem standing upon My feet. I understand that home is where My Mistress says I am to be,no matter what address is the place holder of My possessions. I understand that Mistress will be greedy when it comes to Her demands of this slave,regardless of the sum of all past efforts. I understand I must strive towards unconditional acceptance of Mistress's Will,even as I become more apparently aware She is a fallible Woman. I understand I yearn to bestow upon Her my complette adoration,no matter what difficult moment I may find Myself in. I understand I will learn from My Mistress my most important lessons,regardless of the knowledge offered by the unknown intentions of others. I understand My hunger for My Mistress is insatiable,no matter the resistances in which I foolishly choose to participate in. I understand I crave My Mistress's control,no matter how I want to scream out hatred of Her Commitment to the purity of that control. I understand that My thrist is unquenchable,no matter what brief resprite I may soothingly get from Mistress's cum. I understand that My soul is Hers,no matter what My opinions may be of its flaws. I understand it is My destiny to transcend to a state of enslavement with Mistress few have the mental capacity to comprehend,regardless of the rebuttals of the masses. I understand I am Her Chattel and Her will is My priority,regardless of the wrath society may bestow upon Either of Us. (a poem of mine... There once was a girl kneeled upon her knees between her loved Ones embrace,eternally kept within Her heart throughout all eternity and space. whispering the words,always and forever My love; expanding to you within all time,knowing within her heart what it means to be called a "Mine's"
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i 'm just here taking 5..or so..been a bussy ,stressfull week i look forward to the movies or just to get out a lil bit to chill out..laugh and have a good time..i look forward to being more a part of the lifestyle..(and i've been thinking about what experiences i've had thus far in real and on line)Do Y/you keep in contact with Y/your x Doms or subs..trainies/Trainers..i do..well most of them..i look back and remember all the good experiences i had..i've learned something new each time..learning and growing(i believe a good trainer teaches you about all sorts of things..winks not just BDSM.as my F/friends..it all weaves..intergrates into each other..W/we learn life skills right along with O/our BDSM skills..a good trainer interweaves this all..in hopes of you becoming this fully intergrated indivual..that can stand on thier own two feet..suceeding at every obsticle.. i miss some of my trainers..thier signaficient others( or subbies) are verry lucky and blessed indivuals..my hats off to All You Doms,Trainers,Syrs(Sirs),Masters(Mysters),Mistresses and so on...well i must go for now..Be Well A/all..be safe ,be happy and live life for all You can..till next time..huggies chanty |
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the winds of time are changing and so must i..i venture forward for a new beginning..(i am moving to a new place, though this time not for a Domme,nor a Syr nor a man nor a woman nor a lover nor anything else..i move to a safe place to be healthy and grow and seeded ..to learn ..to be able to blossom into the person i am to be...this road that i have been on has taught me much(good and bad alike as the path of life is)...though it is time for me to learn new skills..growing within and blossoming more to become a better me...am i scared..heck yeah..moves are always a lil scarry..but i look forward to the new challanges and experiences it brings...this is my final move ...(this one is tired of relocating) and if it is meant to be ..it well...i believe destiny plays a part in O/our lives...till next time my journal..(good luck on Y/your journies)wishing happiness love..fullfillment and peace to A/all those around..be well huggies chanty |
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..this is my 2nd journal entry..i am a 36 year old bbw female lesbian submissive..and this morning i watched a special on HBO family..it was called rosie'e dream cruize(All Aboard)..it was awesome..she had rented a cruize ship and had about 500 gay/lesbians couples
..and thier children(2000 people in all ..it was mixed..singles married..family members of the gay and lesbians..etc on there it was awesome to see that liberation..that love..that commitment..just familes..friends ..people just being thier selves w/o the threat of persecution of who or what they are..isn't that the way it should be in the world..be able to live in peace..happiness and love w/o persecution or judgement for who..what ..or how we are..let alone what lifestyle W/we choose..it was awesome..if Y/your lesbian..gay ..cross..stright..whatever you are in this walk of life it's a must see ..it will lift Y/your spirits..with a hope of love endearment..acceptance..hope thats in all of U/us..it speaks to U/us A/all...well be blessed and be well..till my next entry...chanty |
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this is my first entry here..i am lonely..i miss that other part of me..that ying to my yang..i used to be in a real relationship with a Domme..she and i were together 2 and a half years in real..though we found out we were not the perfect match..we were not the ying and yang of each other..we still date..on a superichal leval..though it is not the same..and it has been forever since i have been called a mine...to be touched carrassingly..to hear that famous good girl..my subbmissive soul cries out..there must be one out there..i wish we had functions around my area.. as i miss being part of the bdsm world..having others to talk to in the lifestyle...so i search...chanty |
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