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I love creating. I am working on getting back into making floggers. I also make hair pieces for belly dancing. Hopefully I will get back into jewelry making as well.
This life style is not just about sex, it’s not just about being told what to do. It’s about the connection, about the relationship. It’s how one interacts with others. It’s not something you can turn off and on. It’s who you are, it’s what you are, and no matter what happens, you can’t do anything to change it.
This is not a life I chose, but it is a life that I must lead. I’ve tried to run from it, tried to fight the fact that I am a submissive. I am who I am, and nothing anyone says or does can change that. No matter the hurt or the pain in the past that this lifestyle has caused, I cannot walk away.
I am tired of running, I’m tired of hurting.
Submission is not about what you can get, but what you give. It is giving yourself, your entire self, parts that are broken, and the parts that are whole. You give your heart, your body, your mind, your soul. Giving all of you to another knowing that it is enough, and in giving yourself up, you can become whole again.
Be the best you can be, but always be true to yourself. Don’t change who you are for another.
Others might see a submissive as being weak. But it takes great strength to lead this life.
You should always show respect, but trust is something that is earned. Never be disrespectful anyone . Bad behavior not only reflects ill on you but also on those who are close to you
You should not show disrespect in either speech or facial expressions. Pouting, rolling of the eyes, using profane language, whining, etc will not be used as a method of disrespecting or getting one's way.
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just a week left till dom con and the sex show! I might actually be selling some things there. |
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So excited to be going to dom con and everything to do with sex show! Come check out Bordello of Decadence and maybe you'll see me there. I'll most likely be demo bottoming most my time at everything to do with sex show. May 20th-22 |
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Apparently I'm a guy? thats news to me. |
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I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
- Creep, Radiohead
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More floggers coming soon!
I'm excited that I'm starting to sell them again. So if you're interested in one let me know. At the moment i don't work with leather but will be in teh near future.
Currently all floggers are vegan friendly. |
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A slave's rights:
I have the right to have limits, and expect them to be respected even if I expect you to push and stretch my limits.
I have the right to trust, providing I have earned it.
I have the right to expect You to believe I am an intelligent, caring and loyal person.
I have the right to ask for Your attention, without having to misbehave to get it.
I have the right to expect You to administer Your punishment on me with care and caution.
I have the right to ask questions, should you deny my requests, as long as I do so with the proper respect.
I have the right to speak up if I feel O/our relationship is not giving me what I need.
I have the right to tell You what I need in a respectful manner.
I have the right to expect You to understand my reasons for doing so, and the right to expect You to listen with an open mind and heart.
I have the right to walk away from our relationship if W/we cannot come to a common ground on these issues.
I have the right to voice my opinion, and expect You to listen and to consider my reasoning's and I expect You to have final word.
I have the right to expect You to understand that deep trust often brings love, and I expect You not to repel me if I tell You that I love you.
For my Master I will love You, should O/our relationship move ahead, should O/our trust continue to grow.
I have the right to expect You to tell me, at any point, if You do not feel You can return these feelings, so that I may decide what I want and need, for it is Your pleasure that adds to my own, and makes it real, and mine, that adds to Yours!
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Just because I'm submissive sometimes, doesn't mean I'm weak
Just because I follow an order, doesn't mean I'm yours
Just because I've had bad experiences, doesn't mean I always will run
Just because I once felt like I belonged, doesn't mean I wont again
Just because you say I'm pretty the way I am, doesn't mean that I agree
Just because I'm broken, doesn't mean I cant fix myself
Just because you're Dominant, doesn't mean I will submit
Just because you give me an order, doesn't mean I will do as you say
Just because you think you know what's best for me, doesn't mean its your choice what I do
Just because you've been there for me, doesn't give you claim
Just because you say I'm submissive doesn't mean its true
Just because you you like sex, doesnt mean i do
Just because there's love, doesn't mean that its enough
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And I can’t stand the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t stand the pain
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
Everybody’s screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can’t explain what happened
And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done
No I can’t |
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How can people be so heartless
How can people be so cruel
Easy to be hard
Easy to be cold
How can people have no feelings
How can they ignore their friends
Easy to be proud
Easy to say no |
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There comes a point when you just love someone. Not because they're good, or bad, or anything really. You just love them. It doesn't mean you'll be together forever. It doesn't mean you won't hurt each other. It just means you love them |
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If only I had an enemy bigger than my apathy I could have won...Close my eyes for a while
Force from the world a patient smile. But I gave you all |
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fighting the nostalgia today. wishing i could go back. Go back to the time when I sat at my master's feet. Doing everything in my power to make the master happy. Knowing that with him, i was safe, i was home. In his arms knowing i belong.
I hate this wall that has formed. I hate pushing the people away that start to come close. I hate this fight or flight feeling |
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as time passes, i feel the submissive slipping away, and i'm not so sure how i feel about that. I always have been a switch, although much more submissive. I guess the choices life makes changes things sometimes. |
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starting training tomorrow for the half century bike ride in march |
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I'm not the girl I once was... and I'm okay with that |
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apaprently i have issues with control....
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I wonder sometimes why people choose to, or not to send a message after viewing a profile. |
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Had a wonderful time this weekend with friends old and new. Some exciting oportuinites unfolding.
THE BEST IS YET TO COME!!!! |
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I really dont know how i feel being back here... or even what role i fit in at this point. Although the is a strong submissive side, the dominate side seems to be comnig out more and more as well....
so here's to exploring, not searching, and seeing what life brings |
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Women and Wolves
A healthy woman is much like a wolf, strong life force, life-giving, territorily aware, intuitive and loyal. Yet seperation from her wildish nature causes a woman to become meager, anxious, and fearful.
The wild nature carries the medicine for all things. She carries stories, dreams, words and songs. She carries everything a woman needs to be and know. She is the essence of the female soul...
With the wild nature as ally and teacher, we see not through two eyes only, but through the many eyes of intuition. With intuition we are like the starry night, we gaze at the world through a thousand eyes.
It does not mean to lose one's primary socializations. It means quite the opposite. The wild nature has a vast integrity to it. It means to establish territory, to find one's pack, to be in one's body with certainty and pride, to speak and act in one's behalf, to be aware, to draw on the innate feminine powers of intuition, to find what one belongs to, to rise with dignity, to proceed as a powerful being who is friendly but never tame.
The Wild Woman is the one who thunders in the face of injustice. She is the one we leave home to look for and the one we come home to. She is the one who keeps a woman going when she thinks she's done for. She is intuition, far-seer, deep listener, and she is loyal heart. She thrives on fresh site and self-integrity.
She must strut the old pathways, assert her instinctual knowledge, proudly bear the battle scars of her time, write her secrets on walls, refused to be ashamed, lead the way through and out, be cunning and use her feminine wits.
Where can you find her? She walks in the deserts, cities, woods, oceans, and in the mountain of solitude. She lives in women everywhere; in castles with queens, in the boardrooms, in the penthouse, and on the night bus to Brownsville.
She lives in a faraway place that breaks through to our world. She lives in the past and is summoned by us. She is in the present. She is in the future and walks backward in time to find us now.
Wild woman whispers the words and the ways to us, and we follow. She has been running and stopping and waiting to see if we are catching up. She has many things to show us.
Whether you are possessed of a simple heart or the ambitious, whether you are trying to make it to the top or just make it through tomorrow, the wild nature belongs to you.
Don't be a fool. Go back and stand under that one red flower and walk straight ahead for that last hard mile. Go up and knock on the old weathered door. Climb up to the cave. Crawl through the window of a dream. Sift the desert and see what you find. It is the only work we have to do.
Without us, Wild Woman dies. Without Wild Woman, we die. Para Vida, for true life, both must live.
(http://users.ap.net/~chenae/spirit.html) |
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