aina

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	I'm just learning about BDSM, it's been a long time coming though. I'd appreciate any information or advice anyone has to offer. I'm not really looking for a relationship as of yet, but I am interested in hearing what you each have to say. Thanks for taking the time to help me on my journey!

Wow, it's been yet almost another 5 months. I wonder if there isn't a pattern forming here. I feel amost bad for having been away for so long. At the same time I realize that there is really nothing I can do about it.

I've moved to Ohio. This adds on to my ever expanding list of gypsy homes.

It's been nearly 5 months and I'm sad that I've been away so long. I'm not sure the next stretch of time won't be just as long, but I'm hoping it won't be so. I've been busy with school, this summer I'll be busy up north. I'll try to stay in touch. Thank you to all of you who have continued to write me, it's very nice. I haven't got a lot of time right now, so I'll talk to you all later.

For all the wonderers, here's how the NYE party panned out (for those wondering if I want a Master or Dom, please read at the very end):

I went to the Twisted Events party and found myself beyond nervous. I tried to sit in a corner but Firebird (the nice guy who invited me) wouldn't let me. He explained to me what a guardian was and I asked if he would be that for me. So he would pull me up and tell me I had to go where others were.

The people were unbelievable. All ages, body types, social standing, all kinds of people. There was no anamosity, just acceptance and open minds. It was a beautiful thing! And some of the people were doing things that took my breath away.

One Dom had his sub on this bench, it looked like a miniature padded picnic table with the seat only on one side. She was leaning on it with her back exposed, completely naked. He would put these glass suction cups on her back, some of them had metal in the middle of them that would poke into the skin while it was pulling all the blood to that one area.

There was a St. Andrews cross, another bar hung from the cieling for cuffing the hands and pulling the body long. There was a casket made of iron bars, a dentists chair, a medical table, and different benches that I can't explain. Many people got flogged, but I was extremely nervous about doing this in front of others, because most people took their clothes off. Finally, after most people had left and I had worked up my courage, I asked Firebird to flog me.

He didn't go all out on me, but he pushed my threshold for pain. He blinded my eyes, I think it was to help me not to be so self consious and partly for the surprise of it. He used a knife at one point, which I absolutely loved. At one point he used some fire which made me extremely nervous, so he went easy with that. It was an experience beyond anything I've ever experienced. I feel that I am finally realizing the full extent of who I am.

I love looking at the marks on my back and breasts. Yes, he flogged me all the way around. I can't explain how, but I feel like for the first time in my life I got to be me (even if I was a little afraid of that) and nobody judged me. I had an amazing time! It was an experience I will never forget and hope to enjoy again someday.

Now, as for all the people who continue to send me e-mails wanting to know if I want to come be their slave, I am not looking for a Master. I am not looking for an experience of that sort yet. Please don't even ask. I'm not interested at this time. I am interested in friends who can tell me, perhaps show me, but not a Master, or a Dom. Thank you for the overwhelming responses, but I'm not interested.

Tomorrow night I attend my first get together with other BDSM'ers. It's actually a New Years Eve party and I'm so excited!

I've been learning a lot so far. I have used many of the tips I recieved to find information and I have a wealth of information, I'm not sure how I'll ever get through it all. I realize that I need to invest in some books.

What I'm focusing on recently is vocabulary and what it means to be a submissive. There are some acronyms people use that I'm not familiar with, as well as terms such as "Gorean". I can't even remember most of them. Everyone has to start somewhere though, I suppose.

Thank you so much, all of you! Your support and sincerity has been exceptional!

I may be ignorant to this lifestyle, but I am not ignorant about life. I appreciate all of the (6 pages) of e-mail I recieved. I was somewhat overwhelmed but tried to respond to all that I thought were serious about simply offering advice and well wishes, but I admit that I deleted many. I will tell you all that I am not looking for any type of relationship at this time. I am simply hoping for advice and information about BDSM, and perhaps if you have helpful experiences. I am not looking for an experience yet. I promise, you'll all know when I am. Another thing I feel that I must clear up, and feel rather idiotic about, polyamorous. I did not realize what this was until just a couple of hours ago (which is how long it took me to get through all of my e-mails) and must tell you all that I am not interested in polyamorous relationships. I don't know how to change this in my interests yet, but I will be doing so as soon as I can. Anyhow, I hope to be hearing from many of you soon. You don't know how it helps me taht I recieved such a warm welcome. I am grateful. Always, aina

This is the beginning of aina.

I am new at this BDSM lifestyle; actually, I suppose one could consider me to be a "virgin" in this aspect. I have been studying the lifestyle and would love to learn more, but I have never had any type of BDSM encounters. There's so much that I want to say, but I haven't the time.

Let me just say that I am enchanted by all of this. I feel as if I've come upon my own heaven and I simply have to explore it to find all the beauty that is here. If anyone has comments, advice, or simply something to share please feel free to do so. I wait with bated breath.

Ainsley	ainm6	aintasaint
ainagain	ainsophaur	aintshort7
aindublin	aine43	aincolo