Criminally Amused

Fanfiction Update

2019-07-07T23:48:52Z

Lots of updates!

Title: A Clear and Perfect Surface
Chapter: 2-4 have been added
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17583998
Fandom: Legend of Zelda - Ocarina of Time
Rating: M (currently K+)
Characters: Link/Malon, Ingo, Impa, others
Summary: Time is a reckoning for us all. Link has known for awhile that his own is coming. Malon is just the woman who happened into his life to complicate it.

Title: An Earth Formless and Empty
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18608275
Fandom: Lucifer (TV)
Rating: G
Characters: Eve, Lucifer Morningstar
Summary: Eve knows well that desire precedes the sin.

Title: A Place Among Stars

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18689677

Fandom: Lucifer (TV)
Rating: T
Characters: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Summary: This is not how it happens between them until it does.

Title: Destination Unknown

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19057723

Fandom: Lucifer (TV)
Rating: M
Characters: Multiple
Summary: Collection of smaller Lucifer drabbles.

Title: Devil's Knot

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18757684

Fandom: Lucifer (TV)
Rating: G
Characters: Chloe Decker
Summary: The third day after Chloe learns the devil walks the Earth, she makes herself a cup of coffee and gets the hell out of L.A.

Title: Lacunae

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19718077

Fandom: Lucifer (TV)
Rating: E
Characters: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Summary: She supposes if happiness is out of reach, satisfaction will have to do.

Fanfic Update

2019-02-13T03:35:34Z

Title: A Clear and Perfect Surface
Chapter: 1 - The Turning of Seasons and Earth
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17583998/chapters/41909657
Fandom: Legend of Zelda - Ocarina of Time
Rating: E (currently K+)
Characters: Link/Malon, Ingo, Impa, others
Summary: Time is a reckoning for us all. Link has known for awhile that his own is coming. Malon is just the woman who happened into his life to complicate it.

Notes: Two days late, but better than never! This one had to undergo some restructuring and is still pretty lengthy, but hopefully the next one will be out on schedule.

Star Wars Drabble: lapse

2019-02-01T03:26:59Z

Characters: Padme, Anakin

Rating: T

Summary: He comes to her, as if in a dream.

Here is the truth:

The weeks and then months pass with the slipperiness of dreams, light and indistinct, and so intent is she on the rebuilding of nation and people that Anakin Skywalker falls through the cracks of her life with nary a sound. She does not think of him, not at all, not in the hours spent rebuilding cities and political trusts nor in the precious moments of solitude which she guards with silent ferocity. In a way, he becomes a specter of the past, a shining star blinking in the black depths of her subconscious, hidden behind void and time. Like all Jedi, his presence is immeasurable yet indefinite, ascetic in appearance and bearing, and swiftly extracted from awareness like the clean and gliding motion of an elegant stranger’s passing.

His memory sleeps inside of her in years thence, a dark and sturdy thing beneath the raucous of a busy mind. Still, it lays its traps keenly, and she is inevitably snared in an unexpected way. It is his trinket, that humble child’s piece, hewed with more care than skill, years lost now in maiden’s robes until found again in the final days of her queenship. For a long moment, she observes it, turning it so to admire its dull shine and affectionate memoir; she smiles to think of it and of him, the boy who by now must be so far removed from the static youth of her recollection as to be recognizable. Anakin Skywalker, she thinks for the first time in ages, a strange and wondrous creature as any she had ever met. What he is now she cannot say, and perhaps the same can be said of her now that she is no longer queen, and that above all may be what impels her to place the necklace among her finest jewels, closing it with a fond smile as this grand chapter of her life does the same.

But that is not the end of it.

Weeks now, and the war stands at bay with only the thinnest of tethers, a tension that rings the whole galaxy and pulls ever tighter. Sleep covers her with dark thoughts and darker dreams, and even there is little respite until -

it is the humid season and the earth is moist and richly black beneath her feet, the sky is smeared with cloud and star, and the air filled with birdsong, the crying of swoons and whistlebacks. the forest encloses her like a tightened fist, endless and constricting, and she knows this place and knows herself not. it is damp with rain and tears and fecund with the life it instills. how long she walks she knows not but thunder beckons in the distance, and she answers its howling with a cry of her own, carried on swift step through this thick and verdant place to where memory begins.

the tree grows twisted and crooked, an uncertain smile against the shadows of the forest, and the boy among its stubborn roots is an uncanny things with blurred edges, more concept than creature, like a word stuttered on the edge of a tongue. she blinks, and the boy is gone, replaced by something larger, grander, in between.

i’ve been waiting for you, padmè, he tells her, and she knows that he has, that something in her has been waiting too. it should scare her -

and yet

he stands now, tall against the gloom of deep forests, extending his hand. in his palm, the pear sits ripened to near rot, an elegant ruin. won’t you have some? he asks, and bites deeply, richly, his hands are stained with something dark and wet. he takes a step toward her, and the image flickers, the static of holo out of range, and he is boy then man then boy and then something dark and unseen moving toward her, his lips are parted, he is whispering her name

and she won’t, she will not but the thunder is sounding in the distance, his eyes are so blue, and she realizes that he is the storm calling her here, it is his heartbeat thrumming beneath the backdrop of the forest, breaking beneath her hands, his name is shaped upon her lips and-

She awakens gasping, her lungs thick with the moisture of summer air. Cordè leans over her, brow furrowed in concern. Her palm is gentle and cool, a balm against uncertain dreams.

"A fever mayhaps, my lady,“ she murmurs, “It may be wise to delay your meeting with the chancellor.”

But Padmè Amidala will not be deterred. A woman determined, she thinks little of dreams and lesser of portents and proceeds with her day as she would any other. It is a conceit she maintains until the world insists otherwise, and it is hours before she can face the Jedi without Cordè’s blood staining her hands, and then -

Here is the truth:

She does not know root from stem, dream from memory, wisdom from folly. When she calls him a boy, she means it, and she cannot know of the moment it altered, the image flicking, an unstable illusion, then reshaping into something larger and grander, something indistinct. In the light of fire and stars, his eyes are so blue, his hand is extended, he says to her -

Without you, I can’t breath.

And she believes it because the air is so thick, her throat is tight and airless, the words are not there. When he moves over her, hot and oppressive, she cannot speak, is never certain what to say. There are whole worlds in his eyes, but they are only for her.

"I dreamed of you,“ he whispers, a voice full of promise and heat.

"As did I,” she says honestly, and when he kisses her, it tastes of water and earth, honey and rot, fire and ash.

Fanfic: A Clear and Perfect Surface (LoZ: Link/Malon)

2019-01-29T05:11:54Z

Prologue: Of What Moonlight Speaks

Fandom: Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

Rating: E/NC-17 (K+ outside of marked explicit chapters)

Characters: Link/Malon, Ingo, Orsus

Summary: Time has a reckoning for everyone. Link knows his is coming. Malon is just the woman who showed up to complicate it.

short fic: flicker

2018-12-04T20:27:54Z

Title: Flicker
Fandom: Legend of Zelda, Linked Universe (@ tumblr)
Rating: T
Characters: Link, Malon

Long after the flame had whittled away at the wick and turned the room dim had they lingered, pressed gently against each other in dying light. Her husband was quiet by nature and purpose, but the silence here was comfortable and full of warm regard, his body loosed of the tension that normally bound his features rigid.

Link’s thumb smoothed over hers where their fingers were interlaced.

She smiled at the gesture, then rested her face in her palm and looked at him keenly. "You are very fond of him,” she stated plainly.

“I am,” he said simply, turning slightly to glance at her sideways. "He is everything a Hero should be and more. And he is ours.“

Malon laughed, a rich sound in the velvet dark. "He’s somebody’s well down the line of what’s ours.”

“Not that far removed by my reckoning.” He grinned at her. "You should see him around the horses. Any girl trying for his heart’s gonna have as hard a time as I did wooing you away from your first love.“

"Look at you playin’ like I made it hard for you. You practically had me swoonin’ at ‘hello’ first time you rode back in here handsome as all get.”

“You talk like half the market wasn’t vying for your hand when I showed up.”

She rolled her eyes. "If they were, they were doin’ a poor job of it. Half the boys Papa hired after Ingo didn’t last a good week mucking the stalls. Other half didn’t dare come within a mile of the ranch for fear of catchin’ work. I’m fair certain he was ready to offer you my hand when you hadn’t up and gone off after the first month.“

"Wouldn’t be the first time,” he reminded her, eyes glinting.

“Should have taken the first offer,” she reasoned, “Would’a cost ya a lot less.”

“You were worth every last rupee spent.”

“Such a charmer,” she scoffed, then straightened, leaning into him. She touched the collar of his shirt fondly, tugging at the laces. "You should know it’s been a good three months you were gone. Flattery is not necessary to get your wife into bed.“

The laugh broke out of him, wonderfully startled, before he leaned in and kissed her firmly. "It is late,” he relented, then stood abruptly. "And as we all know - “ He darted forward before she could react and scooped her out of the chair. ” - a happy home starts with a happy wife.“

She expelled half a shriek before choking it off, covering her face with her hands as she ruddied nose to ears. Swinging her up bridal style, he kissed her again, starting toward the main stairwell. "You’re going to have a be a lot quieter than that, darling. We’ve got a lot of guests with sharp ears.” He dodged the swat she sent at him, then made the ascent with deliberate speed, letting the anticipation stir the air between them.

He waited until they were well within the room before setting her down, letting his hands linger on her waist as she gazed up at him brightly, beguiling. He wanted to kiss her and then some, but more than that he wanted to hold her in this moment, a thousand years preserved in the hard amber of his memory, protected from the weather of time. Everyone thought it a river, flowing through and around them, but he knew better. Time was a blade and a river both, cutting and cold. He thought of her and thought of the boy, of heroes and myth and the thread of blood and history that ran between all of them, and he could see them now unfurling before him, like the sail of a great ship carried into the deep bend of the horizon.

When he smiled down again, her eyes had softened, and she reached out to touch his shoulders. "What are you thinking of in there?“

Swallowing hard, he moved his hands to her arms, pulling her close. He kissed her forehead tenderly. "I was thinking…we could a name a girl after your mother. Or a boy for your uncle, the one you said died in the war.”

“Maybe,” she agreed amiably. She took the hand on her arm and gently pulled on it until it was level with her face, then kissed the callouses there fondly. "Or,“ she murmured, "We could name her Saria.” He started, stunned, and she took advantage of his surprise to ease his hand open, kissing each finger delicately. "Or Navi. A boy named Grog. Or a boy named - “

He jerked away, turning from her. A shiver ran the length of him, the barest flinch, and she made her move, pressing her advantage and encircling him with her arms. She could be relentless, too, she thought; she had learned well enough from him how to quarter something wounded. Especially here, now, when he was finally beginning to understand. That legacies were more than swords and blood, more than the glorious dead buried beneath the dirt of history. It was alive around them, in them, always had been.

She pressed her face into his back, letting her lips brush his neck. "A boy named Grog,” she continued softly, “Or Mikau. Or even Mido,” she added mischievously.

He was shaking lightly when he turned back to her, eyes bright in the gentle light of the room. Fitfully, he grabbed her hands, kissed them, then pushed her gently but steadily back to sit on the bed. He knelt before her with no less fealty than knights before queens. His mouth moved, as if to speak, but quivered shut before he simply pressed his face against her knee. She stroked his hair, letting him have this moment. She waited for the words that she knew were coming, that could only be coaxed out with patience and care, as if he were afraid that the world would swallow them whole and steal them away the moment he gave them breath.

Finally, he rose slightly, fisting her skirts. "I love you,“ he said fiercely, "You are the greatest thing in my life. Without you, I would…”

Die, maybe. Let his sword carry him to an early grave. Or drive himself hopelessly, endlessly against a wall of misery he could not breach.

She didn’t care. It was his to have, the weakness in his guard she would not exploit. Cupping his face, she smiled down at him sweetly. "I love you, too, more than anything else in my life. More than horses, even,“ she teased.

His laugh was rough and thick, but it was his. "Even I wouldn’t dare ask you to rate me higher than horses.”

She tugged on his arms, urging him to rise level with her. Leaning forward, she let her lips brush his nose, his cheek, before settling firmly on his. “I already told you flattery wasn’t necessary,” she whispered against his mouth, “You’re already getting lucky.”

She heard the rumbling of a laugh, and he pulled back. For a long moment he held her countenance, his gaze intense, before moving with such alacrity it startled her backwards, and he pursued ferociously, all wet kisses and frantic love.

Afterwards, she laid in his arms, wrapped up and bound to him as closely as bone and flesh. In the night, they carved out a space like a dark echo, the dream of a moment impressed in time, lifted away and outside its reach.

drabble: erratum

2018-12-04T20:24:09Z

Title: Erratum

Fandom: Star Wars

Theme: errata

Characters: Darth Vader

Rating: T

Extensive muscle and tendon deterioration consistent with fourth degree burn. Full thickness injury prevalent in ninety percent of patient’s dermis reduces grafting options -

The boy looks at him, paltry for his age, a ruin of callous and bone. His eyes are as hollow as the dark.

When he opens his hands, they are empty.

- exposure of pulmonary cortex and proximal interstitia to extreme temperature and volcanic microparticulate matter, resulting in functional respiratory loss -

He looks at her with eyes like liquid stars. In them, she imagines there is a universe of wonders.

“Without you,” he mumurs, “I can’t breathe -”

- spinal fracture compounded with quadrupal amputation reduces nervous function restoration. Autonomic components of medulla subsequently damaged by repeated cardiac arrest -

The boy is merciless. Offers nothing. Takes everything. His silence speaks where he cannot.

- cascade organ failure caused by hypovolemic shock following repeated respiratory and cardiac failure -

She is weeping. Her heart is full and heavy and so easy to break.

- intensive surgical intervention required immediately, patient prognosis for survival is unlikely -

“I can’t live without her,” he pleads.

(But he does.)

wrongly_amused @ 2013-03-19T06:45:00

2013-03-19T10:46:01Z

Just checked the dates for the 2013 PCAT, and fuck me, the deadline for early application was the 17th, not the 31st like I thought. That means I'd have to pay the late fees if I still want to do the test in July. I could wait and take the test in September, but that's an awful long stretch for me to lose motivation and not study for it. Fuck, I am so angry at myself. I've been so out of it lately, and I know no small part of it is my work schedule.

My work schedule? Is bullshit. They have me flip-flopping between evenings and nights, sometimes within the same week, and it's destroying my life. Right now I'm sitting here at 6:24 a.m., wide awake and sleepless, despite the fact that I have to be at work in less than seven hours. I am exhausted. The stress of having to reset my sleep in less than a twenty-four hour period is just beyond me. It'll reset itself tonight when I come home beyond exhausted, but then I'll have to reset it AGAIN two days from now because she threw me on nights right after a stretch of evenings. I keep telling myself I just need to get through the month of March and it'll be better, but Christ almighty.

If it wasn't for the fact that nobody locally convenient is hiring, I'd seriously considering leaving. It's just such a toxic environment right now, and the hospital system I work for it just so corporatist and corrupt. It just represents everything that is blatantly wrong with healthcare in this country, and the fact that it's using "OBAMACARE!!" as an excuse to cut jobs left and right is just actively repulsive to me. No. There are plenty of ways in which the healthcare plan may adversely affect hospital systems, but this is not the real reason why the cuts are happening. Job cuts are happening because said hospital system decided to throw a bitchfit over [insert insurance company here] bought up and revitalized their largest competitor, so hospital system decided to drop their insurance entire, along with all of their patients whose care provided nearly 15-20% of their revenue. You would think being hauled before city legislation and threatened to have their non-profit status cut would scare them into behaving, but they're just that stupid.

I don't know what to do with myself. I feel like I need to get out of this city, and the utter staleness of the environment I'm in, but I'm locked down by lease until September. It's an ugly feeling, and I don't like it.

wrongly_amused @ 2013-03-15T17:35:00

2013-03-15T21:35:24Z

Get out of car. Realize lights are still on. Go back into car, turn auto lights off and go home. Do not drive car for next four days.

Get into car today. Attempt to turn car on. Car refuses to start, entraps key in ignition. Quietly panic. Enlist help of passing fellows to get key out. Failure. Call Triple AAA. Google problem with car's model. Discover this is a common issue that can require replacement of entire ignition system. Not so quietly panic.

Triple AAA arrives. Speak to driver regarding problem. Driver states his concerns because he has seen problem with other model cars as well. Gets in, tests engine. Suddenly gets out of car, asks me about car battery, if lights are on.

No, says I, specifically recalling turning them off because I have done that before and it makes me paranoid and OH MY GOD I can't be that dumb.

Triple AAA driver gets out charger, restarts car, removes key with ease. Driver points to light switch, showing me where the parking lights were left on when I tried to switch the lights off automatic.

Appears that I am that dumb.

Well, says I, at least being dumb is better than spending $300 replacing an ignition switch. Driver laughs and leaves.

My life.

wrongly_amused @ 2013-03-08T00:06:00

2013-03-08T05:06:05Z

OKAY, IN CASE YOU GUYS HAVEN'T SEEN IT ALL OVER MY TUMBLR

CISPA is back, and it still sucks. The petition has only 12 days left. The petition is here. Please take the moment to sign if you're American, signal boost if you're not.

wrongly_amused @ 2013-02-21T06:16:00

2013-02-21T06:23:01Z

A note to my friends list -

Keep an eye out for new malware going around called b.scorecardresearch. It shows up under several names (b.scorecardresearch.com #[Comscore], beacon.scorecardresearch.com #[WebBug], sb.scorecardresearch.com). You can sometimes see it loading in your scripts when a webpage is going up. It is most definitely on the tumblr log-in page. Watch out for this sucker - it is definitely malicious. One of the people who reported it on tumblr had their personal and financial accounts hacked into as a result of it.

Download ScriptSafe/NoScript/etc. and blacklist that sucker. I freaked the hell out when I glanced down and saw it loading in my script bar tonight. This blog also had some information on it.

Second note - what the hell has Livejournal done to the entry screen? It looks like hell.

wrongly_amused @ 2013-01-13T12:20:00

2013-01-13T17:20:16Z

For the gamers on my list, I beg you to take a moment to check out The Cat Lady, an independent game by Harvester Games. At the very least, vote for it on Steam. Or if you don't want to do any of the above, watch and LP of it on YouTube. (My personal go-to is the RPGMinx. She just finished and posted the entire LP this past week.)

This game was incredible. Hands down my favorite I've seen this year, and the developers really deserve to have as much publicity as they can for such an astounding effort. As a matter of caution, however, be aware that it is a very dark game, so those with triggers for suicide, depression, violence, and gore should probably avoid it, but for those who can stomach it, it's worth the play.

wrongly_amused @ 2012-12-21T14:55:00

2012-12-21T19:55:30Z

Livejournal, how much shame should allow myself to feel for tolerating a yaoi m-preg AU purely because the worldbuilding in the story is so well done? I seriously spend every chapter vacillating between impossible skepticism and vague admiration.

So, I have a question here for fellow fanfic authors. Recently, I went back over a story I rather enjoyed, and I noticed that the author mentioned she wasn't going to continue it. The thing is - I *loved* the idea. It was so clever and unique, and it had so much potential. What I want to ask is what the etiquette surrounding fanfic "borrowing" is? Is it considered acceptable to contact an author and ask if you can continue it if they aren't? Keeping in mind, I have only vague ambitions in mind now, a hint of where I'd take it or whether I'd even invest the time in completing it considering the size of the story the plot demands, but the idea keeps tugging at my mind. I'd never just steal the idea outright, so I wanted to know if there was any unspoken policy surrounding the kind of negotiation?

wrongly_amused @ 2012-11-05T23:26:00

2012-11-06T04:26:37Z

AMERICAN ON MY FLIST. VOTING FOR THE ELECTION HAPPENS 11/6/12. THAT'S TOMORROW.

Here are some resources:

Can I Vote? - Voter registration verification. Your state should also have its own website that can tell you whether you're an active voter and where you're polling place is.

Voter ID Requirements - Without going into my ranty rant feelings about the increasing restrictions on the voting process, this site can inform you what states require an on-site ID to vote.

NOTE TO PENNSYLVANIA VOTERS: As of October 2nd, the Pennsylvania Commonwealth Court suspended the Voter ID Act requirements, meaning that YOU DO NOT NEED AN ID TO VOTE. You may be asked for it or told about the requirements, BUT THEY CANNOT TURN AWAY YOUR VOTE IF YOU DO NOT HAVE AN ID. I recommend having one on you as it is, but again, IT IS NOT REQUIRED TO HAVE AN ID TO VOTE IN PENNSYLVANIA AS OF OCTOBER 2ND.

wrongly_amused @ 2012-11-05T08:12:00

2012-11-05T13:13:17Z

Since it's 4 a.m. in the morning and I can't get any damn sleep, I'm going to do a delayed post on NYCC.

I actually really enjoyed it! I was a bit nervous about attending initially, since my investment in comic book is fairly superficial, but I was assured - and was relieved to discover - that the convention has more or less become "general geek culture," which I fit just fine into. Lots of a great cosplay and wonderful panels. I really didn't bring too much swag home since I had to carry all of it by myself, but I did pick up a few T-shirts, including a Zelda one so that the world may know my current fandom obsession.

I have to say the crowd control was very well handled. Even arriving with hundreds of people at the door, I still managed to get inside within thirty minutes or less. Some areas were more crowded than others, but over all, the Javits Center staff handled that very well. The only complaint I had was how early they ran out of programs - seriously, NYCC? You ran out by Friday? You sold out tickets. What did you think was going to happen?

Probably my favorite part of the convention was the panels. The best was probably Johnathan Maberry's panel on post-apocalyptic fiction. I really enjoyed his commentary on the interwoven narrative between fiction and reality and how the story must serve as the bridge between them. The women in Steampunk panel was also delightful, and God knows I had a mindgasm over the Brahm Stoker dialogues. The screenwriter behind Coppola's adaption of Dracula was there, and he had some absolutely delightful anecdotes behind the making of the film. Over all, the panels alone wound up making the trip worth it, so I definitely think I'm going to be heading up again next year.

However, the big highlight of the trip was getting to meet last_archangel and darkfrog24, who are both lovely people who play some great drinking games. :D Thank you guys for driving up! I very much enjoyed my time there.

wrongly_amused @ 2012-10-11T19:48:00

2012-10-11T23:48:11Z

Well, I SUPPOSED to go sight-seeing after I got situated in my hotel. Instead, Google decided to hand me the wrong directions to the hotel (which I should have known were wrong - I've stayed here before) and send me on a quest to the completely opposite side of Queens. After a four hour ordeal involving lots of turning around and two lengthy bus trips in the middle of an NYC rush hour (and some very helpful bus drivers!), I managed to get to my hotel...four hours after I arrived in the city. Well, there went all my energy for exploring. Well, I saw a lot of Queens? There are very long roads? And cars? And lots of angry drivers.

ALL RIGHT. I'm going to finally take a shower, go to bed earlier than I should, wake up earlier than I should, and plan out my next two days before I head into Comic Con around 8:00 a.m.ish. Do you still have my number, last_archangel? Text me when you have an idea of when you want to hang out.

wrongly_amused @ 2012-10-07T21:48:00

2012-10-08T01:48:52Z

Chopped off six inches of my hair, dyed it darker and redder, and now I have it styled completely differently from what it was. I'd say this would make it harder for people to find me at Comic Con, but you lucky bastards have never seen a picture of me, so everything's A-okay.

SPEAKING OF NEW YORK COMIC CON, I am currently in the stages of packing. For people who are veterans of these conventions (this is literally my first major one), what are some things you recommend to have with you going on? Like, should I only bring flats because I'll be walking/standing a lot, or can I get away with a nice pair of heels? Should I dress warmly with layers or expect higher temperatures due to the crowding? Should I leave the purse at the hotel, only carry cash, anything else? Are there exhibits that I should flat out avoid because they're always overcrowded or understaffed?

I'm assuming I want to plan out the exhibits I want to attend in advance, but I want to leave my schedule loose since there are a couple people I'm interested in running into at the Con. So, uh, anybody up for drinks/lunch/etc., just PM me. :)

Edit: I think the bruise forming on my arm has less to do with the wall I just ran into and more with the giant bite the hotel expenses took out of my bank account. Ouch.

wrongly_amused @ 2012-10-03T04:06:00

2012-10-03T08:06:33Z

Today, I watched Enki Bilal's film, Immortal.

I just

What is this

I can't even

What the hell did I just watch.

wrongly_amused @ 2012-09-22T09:05:00

2012-09-22T13:05:41Z

I am legitimately too fat for my jeans.

Time to cut the calories and hit the gym. :|

wrongly_amused @ 2012-09-19T07:27:00

2012-09-19T11:27:24Z

So I'm meandering over an answer in my PCAT study guide for the wavelength for an atomic energy emission. I can't figure out how they got this answer, no matter how many times I work it out. (By hand - you can't use calculator on the PCAT.) Finally, I start going through the entire problem in the answer section, trying to find where their math deviates from mine.

I find it. I am not happy.

These stupid motherfuckers plugged in 36 x 10^8 m/s for the velocity of light. After they just gave you the value in the question itself. No, this is not an alternate form - I just checked google. They literally typo-ed the quantity in both print AND in calculations.

Now, I got my hands on all of these books for free from a coworker who already took them, but the person who gave them to me would have easily paid upwards of $100-200 for these, not to mention the costs of the classes. At that cost and the cost of the exams ($200, plus however much for the optional practice exams), I expect these guides to be damn well top notch.

And then they wonder why people get angry about having to take these exams.

wrongly_amused @ 2012-09-05T04:29:00

2012-09-05T08:30:03Z

New York Comic Con tickets?

PURCHASED. I'll be there the 11th through the 14th. :D

Now I just have to get the hotel/train ticket sorted out. And decide whether I'm actually going to do any costume changes. w00t!

Edit: lol @ Comic Con attempting to convince me $300/night is a reasonable price just to be "on site." It's called a subway.

SKYWARD SWORD - FINAL PART (SPOILERS)

2012-08-11T08:50:50Z

Sorry for disappearing for so long, guys. It was a really rough summer at work. D:

OH YEAH, I SHOULD PROBABLY POST THE REST OF THAT SKYWARD SWORD PLAYTHROUGH.

Last time on SS adventures, we had killed a lot of shit, got knocked around by a lot of crazy dragon assholes, and now we were heading onward to the Triforce!

Okay, we make our way back to Skyloft, where apparently there's yet another temple waiting for us. But first, we have a Silent Realm. You know what Silent Realm's mean, right flist? YES, THAT'S RIGHT. I HAD TO PLAY THAT FUCKING HARP AGAIN. Another fifteen minutes of my life over. And then we get into the Silent Realm. Oh man, I thought Din's was bad. I THOUGHT DIN'S WAS BAD. And then I did this one. So much running and screaming. So much...NOT BEING ABLE TO SEE WHERE THE FUCK I WAS GOING. That ledge. THAT FUCKING LEDGE. It's like the Chekhov's gun from hell. I actually had to leave the Silent Realm in order to figure out to get back on the roof, SINCE I HADN'T DONE THAT SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THE GAME, YOU SONS OF BITCHES.

Like this, but with more screaming.

Okay, okay, we're done, we're okay, right, buddy? We can do this. It should be easy from here on out.

WHAT, DON'T YOU GIVE ME THAT LOOK, YOUNG MAN. EVERYTHING IS GOING TO FINE, JUST FINE.

I got lucky in that I'd sort of discovered that bird statue earlier in the game, so I knew the gem had to go into the eye socket of the bird statue. We then proceed to do serious collateral damage to part of the goddess statue's island, revealing a temple door. Why people are not panicking and freaking out about their floating island developing signs of instability is beyond me. I'm just saying, I'd be a little worried about the ground falling out beneath my feet is all.

OH FUCKING CHRIST, THIS TEMPLE. As soon as I figured out what the over all design insinuated, I felt like crying over a tub of ice cream like a sorority girl who has finally discovered her inner college slut only to graduate two weeks later and have to put her away forever. At least three days. AT LEAST THREE FUCKING DAYS of playing lost to this temple, and that's a lowball estimate. And it wasn't even fun, enemy-filled fighting fun - and the minibosses within the temple were, of course, all the extremely annoying ones from earlier - but FUCKING PUZZLES. No, not puzzles, the kind that tease you a bit before you figure them out. FUCKING PUZZLES. I didn't like the image arrangement puzzle from Wind Waker, why the hell would I want to do it in a temple where I have to match up doorways and hall and I AM SO SICK OF THIS TRIFORCE, FUCK IT, I'M DONE. SHE THREW YOU OFF A CLIFF, DUDE, JUST LET DEMISE DEVOUR HER ALREADY.

kajkldsjal;djkl;s;asd;

Okay, I'm okay. IT'S OKAY. Finally, after expending hours of my life I'll never get back, I finally collect all three pieces of the Triforce. Now, you think at this point the game might give you a little nudge and be all, "HEY, MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOCK UP ON SOME SHIT BEFORE YOU HEAD DOWN," but nooooo. That would be too much. Instead, we hop onto the Statue of the Goddess and wish to destroy the Imprisoned. Yay! Which involves causing a horrific geological catastrophe, knocking the entire Isle of the Goddess off of Skyloft.

...yay!

BUT THEN WE GET TO KILL THE IMPRISONED, AND IT IS AMAZING. IT IS SO AMAZING. I thought we were going to have to fight him a fourth time. INSTEAD WE GET TO SQUASH HIM LIKE A SQUASHY BUG. I am so happy, so excited! I feel like the aforementioned, ice cream hogging sorority girl who has loosed herself of the illusory bonds of patriarchal constructs and can now allow her inner slut to live forever! I almost start dancing, which is not something that should be seen during the light of day.

Link makes his way to the temple, where Granny!Impa is all, "GO GET 'ER TIGER!" AND THEN WE DO. And everything is so happy, so happy! THERE ARE EMOTIONS, EVERYWHERE, AND NO GLASS CASE TO HOLD THEM IN.

EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING AND HOLDING HANDS

GROOSE EXPRESSED SOME FEELS

Right around this time, you'd think it would occur to someone to get rid of that big, damn time travel gate standing behind him because shit could get real, but because people aren't prepared for shit to get real, THIS HAPPENED:

OH NOES

He's got Zelda! And he's going back into the past to resurrect Demise! AND HE INSULTED GROOSE'S HAIR!

So evil.

LIKE AN IDIOT, I decide to chase after her without loading up on any potions or fairies. (I guess Link and I have the same intelligence deficiency where Zelda is involved.) Which meant that while I managed to make my way through what I can only describe as HORDES OF EVIL, I didn't do so well when I got to the actual Ghirahim battle. WHICH WAS NOT EASY. AND THEN I DIED, AND IT WAS BAD. So I had to redo all of it FUCKING ALL OF IT. I made sure to stock up this time, though, and when I got back down to the underworld, I was all -

COME AT ME BRO

AND SO THEY CAME, AND THEN I CONQUERED. I got down to where Ghirahim was creeping all over Zelda, and THEN SHIT GOT REAL. (Also: OMG GROOSE MY LOVE FOR YOU IS LIKE A THOUSAND BURNING SUNS. Never stop, my friend.)

No, seriously, he is such a creeper.

The Ghirahim fight went much better this time, and by better, I mean that he died and Link didn't. Which is always a fortunate turn of events. BUT ALAS, the Big G was merely a distraction while his spell completed and Demise rises once again, devouring Hylia's soul on the way in, meaning that Zelda will not only be rendered merely passive in this game but completely useless as well.

SO THEN THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS ALL, "THROW IT DOWN, BRO."

SO I THREW IT DOWN AND

...it was over in about Five minutes. What - what - WHAT? I mean, seriously? I'm pretty sure there are fifteen year old boys who last longer than that.

Okay, whatever. Demise is dead, and now the world is safe, so now we all return to hug and smile and cry together, while in the distance Link and Zelda stand together looking out on the new world around them in what is the MOST BLATANT GENESIS ALLEGORY EVER and vow to settle this new land under the not-at-all-narcissistic title of Hyrule.

So what did I think of this game?

From a purely technical perspective, it's definitely one of the best games released on the main console since Ocarina of Time. There are minor issues here and there, but otherwise I can't fault the control scheme by any means. They took the basics of what they were attempting to do with TP and managed to build a very smooth and, for the most, intuitive system. I suppose the flip side is that is is more exhausting to play - it's not what I'd call a relaxing game. But this is definitely a game that really made full use of the Wii mechanics, which definitely added a more involving dimension to the experience.

The game design is somewhere in the middle for me. They maintained a lot of the characteristics that made in the temples in TP and OoT so fun. If anything, they're more intricate, abbreviated, and their complexities are less superfluous and more intuitively clever. I liked them, over all, although SS continues the trend of inspiring a passionate hatred for fire temples within me. (And there were two of them in this game, damnit.) I also can't complain about the Surface map - it's gorgeous. Very dense and vivid - more "alive" feeling than the expansively empty setting of TP. Even Skyloft is surprisingly intricate. The flip side of this is that the enemy and character design is lacking. Why is there so much repetition in the game models? This is a system with an engine several times more powerful than the N64 and even the GC, but I feel like the Zelda games for those systems had far more creative detailing on NPCs and enemies.

And for the record, Nintendo? Voice acting isn't much of an option, anymore. It's expected. You need to accept this reality and start planning your games around this mechanic. If Link talking really upsets you that much, keep in mind that Dead Space managed to tell a story with a silent protagonist. But frankly, the idea of "playing as character" is an overrated aspect of the gamer experience and one that far too often gets bantered around as an excuse for laziness on the part of developers. (I'm female, Nintendo. It's not very often that a franchise allots me the privilege to "lose" myself in a protagonist. I still play video games.)

Unfortunately, the part where this game falls apart for me is the story. The writing is terrible. I wish I was joking, but there's no getting around the fact that the narrative feels like it was an afterthought, thrown together after an overwhelming amount of attention went to the control development. This would be excusable in a lower end title, but Legend of Zelda is a Cash Cow Franchise at its finest. This is a series that doesn't just sell games, it sells consoles. There's no excuse that an appreciative amount of work shouldn't be put into the game at every level.

At least 75% of the major plot is told through exposition; few pivotal events occur in real time. Instead, what we got are a series of information dumps, punctuated by periods of fetch quests and dungeons. Hell, the driving conflict of the story is explained in a cutscene that happens halfway through the game. Worse, the primary conflict doesn't even involve the main protagonist - it's Hylia who is at the center of all the game's action, yet she's relegated to an entirely passive role about halfway through this game. In fact, if I had to pick one aspect of the game that serves as the best example of all the wasted potential in this game, Zelda's character would be it. Her character is one of the most potentially fascinating in the series, and she literally spends 3/4 of the game unconscious. Her behavior is in sharp contrast to the increasingly assertive role of the female characters in the previous games. She doesn't even contribute to the final battle, which is outright baffling when you consider that she's the reincarnation of a warrior goddess. It isn't just a waste of a great character but a slap in the face to female gamers who want and expect more out of these games.

Is there anything that could have fixed these problems? Perhaps a little daring on the part of Nintendo. All of their technological innovation is meaningless if they don't care about the story they're trying to tell. What if instead of shoving Zelda to the sidelines, we'd left her story open, a wild card? What if we'd exploited the idea of her past life as the former protector of the Sacred Realm and had her actively aid Link in the second half of the game? What if we'd gotten the chance to explore more of the conflict that led to the game's events in the first place? This game is based on a rich, comprehensive mythology that is always frittered away in frustratingly superficial plotlines. No franchise can run forever on indolence, not even Legend of Zelda.

In conclusion? Skyward Sword is a good game. It's not a great game, though. The experience is really it's greatest strength, as this is a game that delivers absolute immersion on a gameplay level. However, it has a myriad of narrative issues that limit it's over all scope, and in many ways, it's a step backwards in terms of progressive story-telling. This is a pretty good attempt, but Nintendo can do better.

wrongly_amused @ 2012-06-25T18:14:00

2012-06-25T22:14:58Z

Got a tumblr the other week.

WHY DID NONE OF YOUR WARN ME WHAT THIS WOULD DO TO MY LIFE?

Also, I finished Skyward Sword some time back. :3 Will be posting a final review soon.

Thoughts on Underworld: Awakening

2012-06-03T06:27:00Z

So this movie finally hit the Redbox! A few jumbled thoughts right after viewing it.

First of all, I agree with other fans of the series that this movie is definitely the second best of the series. The story in UW3 is a touch more tightly written, but this was much better than I expected!

-NO MORE EXCESSIVE EXPOSITION. I'm glad the writers stopped pretending the people watching these films weren't already fans and we didn't have to sit through a five minute State of the Protagonist speech from Selene. They told us the basics, and then we were done.

-The dystopian social collapse following the revelation about the existence of immortals was done fairly well. It was clever to subvert our preexisting assumptions about the lycans (uncivilized, disorganized, simplistic) to hide the movie's big twist. Six hundred years of antipathy is pretty hard to get over, I suppose. :P

-Was it really that hard to get Scott Speedman to show up for the whole five minutes Michael was in the film? Seriously? I admit I would have liked to have seen more of Michael, how the years as an immortal and the purges had changed him. It doesn't weaken the film excessively - Michael has always been an accessory to HER story, not the star of it - but I did sort of miss him. But this is Selene. We know she's tough. There's never a question that she'll survive this, with him or not. This is something I think Michael understands, possibly even loves most about her. This is a woman who will never die helplessly before his eyes.

-The CGI in this film is better than the first and second, but it could still use some work. The lycans in particularly seemed a bit off here and there.

-What was it Dr. Lane said he was going to use put Selene back to sleep? Fentanyl? What? Fentanyl is a powerful narcotic painkiller. It only causes torpor when overdosed. Considering the other drug references were correct, I'm surprised they got that wrong.

-I like that this film didn't skim over the reality that Selene is a hardened killer, and we finally get to see the soldier she was at her prime rather than the increasingly obsolete relic of a fading era. This is the first film where I felt like we really got to see Vampire!Selene instead of just Selene-the-badass-with-sharp-teeth. I'm also glad that this was taken to its logical conclusion with Michael's "death" and Eve's existence - it takes awhile for her to get to that place where she can connect emotionally. Her devotion to her daughter isn't surprising; Thomas was right when he said it was in her blood to fiercely protect what was hers. This is a woman who gave up her humanity and went on a six hundred year murder spree to avenge her family. Why anyone think it wise to cross her at this point is beyond me.

-This film never seems to stop. It just moves from one battle to the next, which keeps it from dawdling too much, but I do miss some of the lingering, character-oriented moments from the first film. I suppose that's part of Selene's reality now, though. The battle never ends, and there's never enough time for what matters. You shed a few tears, pick up the gun, and keep moving.

-Is it just me, or did this film contain almost UW2 levels of gore? I actually cringed at the part where Selene broke the guy's arm by pushing the bone through the elbow and aldsjflsjaljfldsa;jlfda oh how I cringed. D:

-♥ Eve. ♥ What an adorable little child killer. She could have benefited from a little more character development, but she had enough personality to keep her sympathetic. I do like the ugliness of her transformation. None of this "beauty is never tarnished" BS women usually get hit with in these movies.

-Did I just miss the dialogue reference or did they ever specify how Eve was conceived? Was Selene pregnant and unaware of it at the time or her capture or did they genetically produce her using Selene and Michael's DNA? If it's the latter, then that makes me curious if Selene can naturally conceive.

-Lida's character is a really blatant case of Women in the Refrigerator syndrome.

-Stephen Rea was very well cast as Dr. Lane. I loved how unnerving he was, no matter what scene he was in.

-So was Quint the same super-lycan that attacked the coven earlier or what? I'm kind of curious if Lane was a lycan before his son's birth or after. His explanation of Quint's Missing Mom syndrome makes it sound as though he willingly became one.

-FFFFFFFFFFFFFFfff <3 Did you love the scene where Selene finds "Subject 0" and only lingers long enough to shoot down the cryostasis? BECAUSE I DID. It speaks volumes about the level of trust between them. She knows he'll come find her.

-I find the explanation that Eve's brainwaves are "synched" to Selene's kind of strange, but I suppose amidst all of the other anatomical bullshit going on, I could buy it as a survival mechanic when Eve or her parents are under extreme fear or duress. Well, hopefully that's the extent of it. That could make for some awkward teen years.

-Canonically, immortals spread their viruses via bite, and with the exception of those with the Corvinus strain, those bitten by both wind up dying due to cellular atrophy. So how did David survive the lycan bite he received during the battle at the Coven? I'm assuming it must have been Selene's blood, but doesn't that mean she infected him with the Corvinus strain? Shouldn't he be super vampire, too? Edit: Wiki suggests that he did indeed become a hybrid. Okay, that makes a little more sense.

-SOMEBODY NEEDS TO WRITE ABOUT SEBASTIAN AND HIS WIFE. STAT.

-I like that the ending is left open-ended as far as the fate of the world, but I do feel Selene's story has come to a satisfying close. She went full circle, becoming a vampire to avenge the family she couldn't save, and now she ends the story hand-in-hand with the family she did.

OVERALL, AN ENJOYABLE FILM. Now, I must watch Thor. Saw The Avengers yesterday, SO THIS HAS BEEN A GOOD WEEK.

MORE BULLSHIT THE WORLD TAUGHT ME

2012-05-25T04:45:23Z

This young woman is fucking awesome.

FANDOM in your face

2012-05-02T04:17:35Z

I haven't posted any memes in awhile, so I figure it's a good time to procrastinate finishing my o-chem final by doing one now. I'm actually at the end of Skyward Sword (all I have to do is ~~die horribly at the hands of~~ defeat the final boss), but given that I have shit ton of studying for my o-chem final, a friend's baby shower, and another friend's graduation to attend, I'm probably going to get the game finished anytime soon...and I'm probably going to have an Internet blackout next week to make myself focus. ALSO, I AM WORKING ALL THE TIME ANYMORE.

PLUS I HAVE TO CALL FRIENDS TO INFORM THEM I'M VISITING IN A MONTH WHETHER THEY LIKE IT OR NOT. :|

And now a Zelda game meme!

I stole this shit off tumblr, yo.

Day 1: When was your first time playing The Legend of Zelda, what game was it, and how was your experience?

The first game I ever played was probably aLttP, and I think I was probably 8-10 years old. Obviously, it was a good experience, else I wouldn't have continued playing the games. However, aLttP isn't the game that made me a big fan of the series - in fact, though I've played it multiple times, to my everlasting fan shame I've never actually finished the game completely. My interest usually peters off around the Dark World section, where I usually get stuck in one of the dungeons and am too lazy to check walkthrough. (I should really finish the game I started in November. I'm only two dungeons away from the final battle.)

Day 2: What game would you consider to be your favorite, why? When did you first play this game?

Oh man, this is kind of a complicated answer, since I have different favorites based on what aspect of the series we're talking about, but I guess my absolute favorite is a bit of fandom cliche - Ocarina of Time. Why? A lot of it's nostalgia - we got the N64 for Christmas along with the GOLDEN CARTRIDGE edition of OoT and then spent the summer playing it with my siblings and older cousin. But the game itself has one of my favorite storylines (who doesn't like a good time travel tale?), some really intriguing characters, and the Hero of Time is probably the most interesting of his ilk. There's a lot of bittersweet nuance to the story that I didn't catch until I went back years later and replayed it, and that quality is probably what helped inspire what is by far the best sequel in the entire series.

Day 3: Which game do you think has the best plot-line, why?

Narrative-wise? The Wind Waker. The game isn't perfect by any means, but it's story is by far one of the most moving and thought-provoking out of the series. It takes some guts to explore a story mechanic inherent to the series - the hero myth - and then ask your player to consider its value in light of a future where it failed. The whole game is one big player punch after another, from the post-apocalyptic ruins Hyrule to the more humanly tragic Ganondorf to the bittersweet ending. Everybody who's played WW probably played OoT beforehand, and now you had to watch the happy ending you thought you won be ripped to shreds. Heavy stuff.

Now, for the game that I think has the best over all plotline, including characers and story? Probably Majora's Mask. It's completely different and far more daring than anything else the creators have done, and no other game to date has managed to capture the feeling I had playing that. It's a shame it had to follow-up OoT and find itself on the receiving end of so much backlash. I could go on and on and on about what makes it such an amazing game, but the fact that so much has been written about in the years since it's release speaks to how provocative it was.

Day 4: Which Goddess are you most like Din (Power), Farore (Courage), Nayru (Wisdom), why?

Uh, none, haha? I guess Nayru, if I had to. I read a lot. :P

Day 5: Which game do you personally think is the most challenging and most easiest, why?

Probably Adventure of Link, and for that reason, I shall never attempt to play it. :P Out of the games I've actually played, though, aLttP is probably the one that kicked me around the most, with SS being a close second due to its more challenging control scheme. Easiest? Up until Skyward Sword, most of the 3D games were pretty simple. I can beat OoT within a day, but that's probably because I've played it so much that I know it by heart. (The Master Quest version is another thing altogether.) Phantom Hourglass was probably the worst offender for games that I basically waltzed my way through.

Day 6: Favorite and least favorite item(s)? Which would you want to be real?

Least favorite would have to be ANY PROJECTILE WEAPON EVER. I am so shit at aiming in video games, and SS had to step it up a notch by getting rid of Z-targeting goddamnyounintendoihateyou. As for items I wish were real? The beetle is pretty damn awesome, but as a person who is persistently five minutes late, that magical ocarina would do me a lot of good.

Day 7: If you were to be any character in the games who would you prefer to be, or who do you relate to the most, why?

SOMEBODY WHO IS NOT LIVING IN HYRULE. Seriously, have you played these games? Would YOU want to live in that country? When Ganondorf isn't around wreaking havoc, everything else is. I guess if related to someone, though, it's probably OoT Malon. I think I could survive some really bad situations intact, but I suspect that, like her, I wouldn't be much good at acting on any instinct to change it.

Day 8: Between all the sidekicks, which is your favorite, or which do you think is the most helpful?

Midna was by far the most helpful, but she ate up so much of the plot that I hesitate to call her a sidekick. While I'm actually one of the few fans who likes Navi, I do think my favorite sidekick is the King of Red Lions. Because he's a dick.

Day 9: What is your favorite song from the series, why?

Hmmm. The Gerudo Valley will always be my favorite background theme, but I fucking love the Hylian overworld theme from TP. The only thing that held that game back music-wise was the lack of a full orchestra.

Day 10: What is your favorite version of Link and Zelda, why?

OoT Link is hands down my favorite hero. He's from my favorite game, and he has by far the most interesting and tragic story. There are so many directions you can take him. As for Zelda...does Tetra count? I love WW Tetra. I love her attitude, her boldness - my all-time favorite game moment is when she leaps through that window in the Forsaken Fortress and tackles Ganondorf in an attempt to save Link. And she doesn't screw around in the final battle, either. She's a girl who gets right back up after you known her down. I wish she'd gotten a little more face-time in the sequel, actually, because I think there's a lot you can do with her obvious conflict over Tetra, the pirate she was (and remains), and Zelda, princess she now knows she is.

Day 11: If you could own any of the masks from Majora’s Mask which one would you pick, why?

The bunny hood. Mostly I just want it so I can make any children I have wear it and take pictures of it because aklsjd;lfjal;fjdkl;ajf;das it's so cute.

Day 12: Which sword is your favorite?

Master Sword. What can I say? I like cliches.

Day 13: Which character do you think Link should fall in love with (if any), why?

Oh man, I am so not a shipper. I ship Link/EVERYTHING THAT MOVES. Maybe even some inanimate objects if I really want to. I do have a few preferences here and there (I'm kind of a sucker for Link/Tetra, admittedly), but I could just as easily see him wandering forever as a loner, adventuring here, vandalizing there. It all depends on what story I want to write.

Day 14: Which ocarina song do you wish worked in the real world, why?

The Sun Song. You never know when the zombie apocalypse is going to happen.

Day 15: Which of Link’s tunics and/or armor suits would be most useful to you if real, why?

If I overlook his horrible fashion sense to start with, I guess his forest green would look pretty good with most of my shoe collection.

Day 16: If you play the game from another players point of view, whose would it be and why? (Ex: if you pick Ganondorf, you’d be playing as the villain.)

Ganondorf would be pretty cool. But I would die happy if Hylia got her own game. It kind of makes me :| that Nintendo was basically all, "We can't have any games earlier than SS because there is no Link!" Because I think a game where you played as Hylia battling the hordes of Demise would be pretty fucking awesome, Link or not.

Day 17: A story about your first cucco attack, what was it like?

Monday night. '94. Sun outside my window. I swing the sword once. Twice. A few more times. Suddenly, they are all around me. I try to flee. No escape. Feathers everywhere. I can't breathe. GOD, THEY ARE EVERYWHERE. EVERYWHERE. No where to turn. Link spins like a top and suddenly dies. I cry a little inside.

Day 18: Which shield is your favorite?

I'd say the Hero's Shield, but I suck way too much at SS to ever get it. So we're going to have to go with the Hylian Shield. Apparently, metal work was much improved by OoT Link's time.

Day 19: Your favorite race – of all the races, which would you most like to be, why?

It used to be the Gorons, BUT FUCKING MOGMAS TAKE ALL. I want their sweet digging mitts, their snazzy jazz BGM, their hilarious emo hair. ALL OF IT.

Day 20: Which 2-D games would you like to see be revamped and for which console?

I think AoL actually has the most interesting story that could be made into a 3D game. Perhaps not even AoL itself, but the events that led to Zelda's coma. It would be a sad game but also a cool game.

Day 21: One of your own theories you’ve conjured up?

A self-indulgent one: Hyrule is a post-apocalyptic Earth that occurs after the events of the Judaic-Christian Revelations. That God leaves behind the world with his people, the three goddesses descend upon the empty Earth millenia later and use it for their own Creation.

Day 22: Any location in any of the games you’d want to be real, why?

Lake Hylia. BECAUSE LAKES ARE AWESOME. You can swim in them! We'll have to get rid of all the monsters, though.

Day 23: Favorite mini-games in shops to play?

Since most of them involve weapons that I suck at, NONE.

Day 24: From your favorite game, list in order the temples from your favorite to least.

Spirit Temple, Shadow Temple, Forest Temple, Dodongo's Cavern, Deku Tree, Water Temple, Fire Temple

The Fire Temple gets my sticker of fail primarily because it's so damn boring. Spirit Temple wins because it's one of the few in the game that makes good use of the time travel mechanic.

Day 25: What’s one of your biggest complaints or rants that you have about the series?

I won't go into my lengthy rant about all the issues this series has with passivity in female characters, so I'll go with the more obvious one - redundancy. And the writing in general. Video games as a whole suffer from the latter, which is bizarre when you consider how expensive they are to make and sell. Put more effort in your narrative, and people will start giving a shit.

Day 26: From re-deads, to deadhands, wallmasters and skulltulas and so on, which always scared or still scares you the most?

This is going to sound bizarre, but the chus from TP freak me the hell out. I can't even explain it. They're just so...gelatinous and wormy and...ugh. Give me a redead any day. OH, AND THOSE FUCKING TWILIGHT MONSTERS. Especially the palace hands. THE HANDS. ;-;

Day 27: Favorite and least favorite cut-scene?

Oh man, that's a toughie. I really love the goodbye scene between Link and Zelda in OoT. It's just so sweet and terribly sad at the same time. There's so much nuance there - the hesitance in Link handing over the ocarina, the regret in Zelda's expression, all that unspoken feeling. It's a scene that gets more powerful in respect to the other games - Wind Waker, because we see the terrible mistake in returning Link to his time, and Twilight Princess, because we see that he spent the rest of his life regretting that he did.

Least favorite? ANY SCENE WITH KAEBORA GAEBORA.

Day 28: Your version of the timeline of the games?

I might be in the minority, but I actually like the official timeline. I think creating a "failure" timeline was a clever way of justifying the sparser landscapes and regressive technology of the older game graphics.

Day 29: Favorite side-quest, why?

MAJORA'S MASK. Because when you think about, the entire game is basically an unintentional sidequest for Link. :P Okay, I won't be an ass - reuniting Kafei and Anju. ;-; I HAVE SOMETHING IN MY HEART. *sniffle*

Day 30: Your expectations/thoughts on Skyward Sword and/or Ocarina of Time re-make?

I'M STILL FORMING ON AN OPINION ON THE FORMER, and I think the latter was well-deserved.

ALSO, CAN SOMEBODY EXPLAIN SOME O-CHEM TO ME:

Okay, so I have 3-methyl-1-hexene reacting with HBr alone, so I know it will be a Markovnikov reaction (rather than a free radical as with peroxides). So when I went along with this idea, I got this:

blah blah + enantiomer etc.

HOWEVER, the answer key is telling me that the Br should bond with the C3 carbon, sharing with the methyl group. But that carbon isn't part of the alkene double bond, so I'm confused - did positive charge shift to the tertiary carbon because it's more stable, or is there something else that I'm missing?