The Wandering Path

It's the night before the night before Christmas!

2010-12-24T01:20:59Z

I stayed in bed until almost three today. Disgusting.

I've been thinking about things to be thankful for...
-- No more Doing Thinking. Ever.
-- I didn't fail enough in Japanese to be remanded to a lower level class
-- My family still loves me
-- My cat still loves me
-- We have an awesome x-mas tree this year
-- My mother still makes cookies with flour in, despite the fact that she's not allowed to eat them
-- Opportunities abound for the intelligent, couch-surfing, amateur programmer in the Land of Apps

-- Amateur programmers in the Land of Apps can develop into experienced programmers without ever having to be nice to assholes, or deal with bureaucratic bullshit, or take classes, or get a degree, or give a damn about all the aforementioned items

-- My nephew is wonderful (he makes me think that having kids someday isn't a terribly bad idea)
-- Family Days are a new development but they're already integrating into my sense of equilibrium

I'm hoping to graduate in this coming year. My mother refers to my progress towards a degree as being asymptotic. It's entirely too accurate.

windreader @ 2010-11-29T21:19:00

2010-11-30T05:19:02Z

Oh god, kill me now.

windreader @ 2010-11-28T09:46:00

2010-11-28T17:46:03Z

Why is it that most of my friends hated school?

Growing up in the US means that you are required to obtain a certifiable education. The government provides for a huge, lumbering public school system that has the kind of momentum you might associate with a small planet, but you don't necessarily have to attend it. This doesn't prevent everyone from paying for it, but that's not really the point. It is good to have a freely available system of education; this is one of those things that just *is*. Knowing more helps you to do more, to understand more, to be deliberate in avoiding harm and promoting well-being. Given enough time and a sufficiency of paper I could write up explanations linking every school lesson I remember to its useful-in-life, so-what meaning. I could write up explanations for the ones I don't remember, but I would need to look them up first (and really, the ones I remember almost have to matter in real life, or I wouldn't remember them...)

" 'Well, the traveling teachers do come through every few months,' said the Baron.

'Yes, sir, I know, sir, and they're useless, sir. They teach facts, not understanding. It's like teaching people about forests by showing them a saw. I want a proper school, sir, to teach reading and writing, and most of all thinking, sir, so people can find what they're good at, because someone doing what they really like is always an asset to any country, and too often people never find out until it's too late.'...
'Learning is about finding out who you are, what you are, where you are and what you're standing on and what you are good at and what's over the horizon, and, well, everything.' "
--Terry Pratchett

I am not saying that the public school system is wrong because that would ignore the fact that people come out of it capable, knowledgeable, and willing to learn still more. What I am saying is that our public school system is not right enough. It shouldn't be such a war to change the things we teach and the way we teach them, as if evolution and adaptation only happen to things that contain DNA. Considering the size, completely rebuilding the school system would involve an unacceptable stretch of down-time, and redesigning the system would be like expecting a man with a peg leg to remain standing when you snatch it out from under him to exchange it for a more modern prosthetic.

windreader @ 2010-11-25T15:12:00

2010-11-25T23:12:13Z

my depression is on overdrive so everything feels like the worst thing ever
don't really like complex thanksgiving foods? worst food ever
tired of listening to your family talk about work? worst conversation ever
can't seem to sit down and write that paper for class? worst assignment ever
still failing to memorize that kanji? worst kanji ever

I basically feel like shit in every direction all at once--spectacular, but very, very miserable. And angry. And other unreasonable reactions.

windreader @ 2010-11-18T19:47:00

2010-11-19T03:47:15Z

Why do I feel like I'm going insane?

Oh wait, nm

IT'S BECAUSE I AM

Telling the Truth is the most exquisite pain I've ever known

2010-10-29T23:07:35Z

Yesterday I spent an hour and a half talking with my thinky-dinky prof. We did not talk about class. She requested my entire college history. I don't have any idea why I gave it to her rather than just saying no, you can't have it, it is mine and it is personal. By the time I got to the ferry I realized that she had managed to open up every single one of my soul-wounds from the past five years and in doing so had triggered all of my warning circuits.

FLEE NOW
IT IS NOT SAFE HERE

I did not sleep well because of the general anxiety and disorientation of remembering/reliving old pains. I am left miserable today, fighting weakly against the seductive pull of depression and collapse. These past several quarters, while I wasn't doing anything much, I think they gave my soul time to heal up and reconstruct so as to work around my crippled bits.

I'm not sure if I hate my professor, but I know I resent her all to hell for this.

Angst

2010-10-26T04:30:53Z

I have it.

My current war with myself is mostly centered on school. Things like actually attending or spending any time studying are a little more difficult than what I would term "usual". My Japanese class is easy to attend; the people are nice, and the experience is both fun and memorable. My other class I have trouble doing anything for. I'm not sure what all is twisted up in my perceptions about it, but it's not good, and I guarantee that what I experience and what actually happens are considerably out-of-joint.

I need to stop trying to do homework the-day-of and start actually completing assignments (and thinking about them) in a manner that makes them fit to turn in. I've requested a meeting with my thinky-dinky prof, and she said Thurs evening should work and that she would really like me to email some of my work on account of they only have one journal entry from me. My initial response to this was: Oh, shit, if I want to turn in any of my work I need to sanitize it first. And what they mean by work is just journal entries and notes on readings, which seems bloody wasteful of their time and mine, but they control the credits so I need to bend my neck.

Bend, neck, bend.

windreader @ 2010-10-18T17:51:00

2010-10-19T00:51:46Z

Dear crazy professor folks,

You are crazy.
I am crazier.
Let's compromise.

I don't really know if this class failed to meet some subconscious expectations or something simply rubbed me the wrong way, but I quickly learned to condescend when I was being condescended to. I felt insulted by the Analytic Thinking pamphlet and by the way it was used and referred to as if gospel to treasure and disseminate to the masses. It is not, not, NOT anything like that for me. It is a supercilious, over-simplified, apallingly rude, and utterly condescending piece of intellectual-elitist bullshit. I can already think, thank you, and will continue to do so in a way that allows me to feel both comfortable and capable because I've had enough practice to figure it out by now. Stop trying to dissect my brain in some mistaken attempt to find what's missing.

I appreciate that you haven't taught this class before, so it's just as new for you as for me and all my classmates. This doesn't, in my view, excuse your ineptitude, but that may just be inherent to your way of coming at it or some other aspect. It makes me sick to sit an listen to you saying absolutely nothing. If you can't be concise, go take a fucking writing course. Also, stop whinging it. Stop trying to get us to teach ourselves. Stop being absolute gits about teaching -- I paid for this class because I want the credits, but any other miserable class could do as well. I might just as well go back to EA or the disaster of my internship and STICK IT OUT instead. God, i'm tired of hating school.

more scathing comments later, must go attend your monday class.
i also need to talk with you two, but I'll be damned if I know how to do it without ripping into you.

Round Two

It is not clear to me whether or not I should be searching thinky-dinky prof's office right now. Beyond that I still have no idea whhere her office might BE. Therefore I am going to ride what little high my second cup of coffee has provided to do my homework. Then I'll fall asleep on this comfy couch in SEM2. We'll see about other things later.

Trying on careers like second-hand t-shirts

2010-09-27T19:10:23Z

I've been thinking about it, and I think that the thing that worries me the most about my escapades so far in the idea-land of teaching is that everyone is supportive, and that everyone thinks I would make a really good teacher. I'm not exaggerating here. I trust most of them to have the willpower to warn me off if they thought I would make a bad teacher, but I didn't really think about being a good teacher until they stated their opinions on that score. Either they mean it or they're being crazy supportive for reasons unknown and thoroughly nefarious.

I made this list, back before I even did the survey on how to be a teacher, and it goes like this:

I could be a teacher because...

...I know how to stay up all night grading tests
...I've always been the student that worshiped the teachers, so maybe I can learn to worship the students
...I like having all the answers, and giving them away
...school is structure, and structure is my salvation
...I could be good at it
...when my role is defined, I'm good at people
...tenure is a good prop against failure
...time can't flow backwards
...I can't play game and fall in love with abstractions if I want to live a life, or if I simply want to live
...goal-oriented tasks are my main specialty
...habits of activity are not the same as habits of thought
...I've given up science, but science won't let me go
...I want a reason to get up in the morning
...someone has to teach them, or how will they learn?

I am organized
I have patience
I can cope with bureaucracy
I am a member of the tech generation
I am able to try
I want to try

I WANT TO TRY

windreader @ 2010-09-26T13:31:00

2010-09-26T20:31:34Z

School tomorrow, and I'm getting a bit wound-up about it. Annoyingly wound up. This is my very last night at the house-sitting house, and I am overwhelmingly thankful for that fact because I really just hate the place. It's the uncomfortable bed, and the pouty dog, and the uneven staircase, and the extremely loud live-bird alarm clock. It may also be the TV and how it seems to suck all ambition right out of me. I'm a terrible channel surfer, and very glad that I don't watch TV at home anymore because I got too frustrated trying to find the channels after the digital conversion sent things into a jagged dissociation from realistic numbers.

Happiness is currently the fact that my mother's investment in my real-cash-economy game has earned almost $300 since my birthday. That's twelve days, people, averaging about $25/day, which is three hours of work at minimum wage in Washington State (without even considering all those taxes that come out of wages). This thing is earning half-time minimum wage and all my mother and I have to do is sit quietly and GRIN.

Anyway, I'm going to go inspect the Japanese textbooks again just to give myself a sense of purpose and, I dunno, hope? I'm too rusty to be confident.

windreader @ 2010-09-22T19:20:00

2010-09-23T02:20:58Z

Oh shit, oh damn, oh fuck, oh crap,
Depression is attacking back

Can You Teach Me How To Teach?

2010-09-22T04:38:31Z

I've been wandering around asking teachers "Can you teach me how to teach?" Which didn't start as a survey, but it ended up as one. Every single person had a different answer, and I am delighted by their subtleties.

A misorganized series of notations follows

--Knowledge of your subject is necessary but not sufficient
--To dismiss the science of teaching and learning is to be a fool, but to think that it is not more than the science is a greater error
--The best way to learn how to teach is to teach
--Blindness in the processes of communication will be your downfall
--Do not mistake teaching for learning, or speaking for teaching
--Ask questions, find answers; above all else never cease to engage the brain with the task of adapting methods
--If you do not have a good sense of self in which to weather bizarre attacks on your every aspect, they will eviscerate you, they will eat you alive.
--Apathy is an intangible enemy. What motivation can you offer when your scope for discipline ends with the bell and bottoms out at failing grades?
--Money is a bitch. Beware this inevitable fact in all things. Money is a bitch, and time is a luxury it cannot buy you.
--You need an endless well of patience to survive intact (if ever a teacher loses their temper with a student, oh what chaos can ensue)

There were more things to be had in the wandering discussions I stole from their time, but these seem to be either agreed upon or hugely important to some people (without, perhaps, being important to everyone). Pretty much everyone made me feel welcome to come and observe, but as one of them cogently put it "You had twelve years of that." It was a good point, but not sufficient reason to dismiss the value of observational learning as a means to abstract the process of teaching from the subject matter at hand.

I've got evening classes starting next Monday. This implies all sorts of things about the distribution of my time and energy, but my sneaking suspicion is that my credit-earning activities will take second place to my learning.

A Personal Method To Differentiate Headaches

2010-09-21T00:21:43Z

I have recently discovered that if my headache is tensions and/or sinus taking a pleasantly hot shower is a good way to knock it down to manageable size. This is not so for migraines. However, it's not impossible for me to have both types at once (because I've got skillz), and the shower usually does for the extra pain sources, leaving me with a well-identified migraine that will respond to migraine remedies (putting my head under a pillow for a few hours, taking the magic pills, consuming really cold things, etc).

This evening I have a migraine. There was an incipient tension headache, but I have done away with it (somewhat to my surprise). I've decided that having a migraine is very unpleasant, but if I can't keep from having them in general I may as well learn the symptomatology for later reference.

--a floaty, disconnected sensation I would liken to being stoned if I ever had been stoned
--temporal and supraorbital pain similar to the headaches I get from needing but not wearing glasses
--exhaustion (though I conceive of it more as a cause than a symptom)
--things hurt less if I close my eyes, particularly closing the eye on the same side as the headache
--sometimes I get these pre-headaches that are like very mild migraines about eighteen or so hours before I get the full force migraine

Sara, who is splitting the house-sitting job with me, inquired as to whether I would be able to do school if I get migraines, as I put it, "all the bloody time." This disturbing thought had not previously occurred to me. WTF can I do if I get a migraine I can't tamp down? I can't take the magic pills all the time because it's a sketchy enough balance with my serotonin levels as it is (plus the packaging info basically says that if you use it more than four times in a month the drug maker is not responsible for your subsequent after-effects). So far it seems that I'm guaranteed three days of migraine-free existence every time I take one of these pills, but discovering this seems to imply that the headache is only suspended and can/will return when the magic wears off.

When I talked to MEW and she prescribed the pills I told her that I'd had the same headache for a week. I've had this fucking headache for a fucking week. Ow. ow. ow. This headache has only just arrived today, but it's looking to be a big one.

The Chickens Don't Go In Until It's Dark

2010-09-18T00:50:54Z

I didn't appreciate my house-sitting job because trying to house-sit there and tend the critters over here is a distressing crunch on the morning and evening. This is my last night over there and I can't wait to be out of it. Being alone may mean my activities don't disturb anyone, but it also means I'm watching TV and staying up too late. My brother wants me to come to the aquarium with him and Kirill tomorrow, and I want to go, but I can't quite bring myself to a feeling of satisfaction about having something to do in the face of my general anxiety and hunger for sleep. I keep thinking: why not on Sunday? I want a day home. I really detest sleeping in strange places. And the bird over there is a vicious little alarm clock that has no snooze button. At least fish make no noise, and can't pout like dogs.

I feel disgusting.

Urgh.

I have a nice house-sitting job coming up

2010-09-11T04:09:46Z

I've been having repetitious thoughts that go a little like this...

I'm going back to school in a couple weeks.
Goodness, that may or may not be a good thing.
I'll be taking Japanese for the first time in... long enough that I've forgotten a lot of it.
Must therefore pre-study in order to be at full forward momentum when I smack into the wall of kanji.
I'm taking a woodworking class, too.
That should be fun.
I have too much time on my hands, so I'm reading all the assigned books for the quarter.
I really like the one about tools.
[return to start]

I've also been thinking about being a teacher, after I get a degree and can, you know, meet the requirements for employment in that profession in this state. I learned a lot about the regulations surrounding teaching certificates and have concluded that the best way for me to go about it would be to get a school to employ me on a need-basis (which means they employ me because I'm able/willing to teach sciences or maths, they need someone to teach sciences/maths, and they're willing to essentially apprentice me into the teaching system, thus providing me with income and access to the "alternative pathway" to getting a teaching certificate). I am having a Theory about Evergreen and getting some of my final credits by being a student-teacher.

Just to prevent this from becoming another one of those things I fail at, I'm not really telling my immediate family. They know that I'm going for my last credits to graduate, but not that I'm finally bowing to the fact that I could end up a high school teacher and be satisfied with that. I'm currently blaming all my EU friends for causing me to even think about this, much less lay plans and allow hopes into the equation. Three fingers, but it still picks Joy's pockets.

Sick in the head

2010-09-06T21:32:02Z

Something has gone wrong in my brain today. I'm considering possible causes.
--the weather (it's gray today, and despite that I much prefer the cool the clouds can often make me moody)
--the crazy is just making me have a bad day (it does that sometimes)
--maybe I have a cold coming on

None of those are satisfactory.

I feel acutely depressed and extremely uncomfortable inside my own skin. I'm having that absurd urge to go, just GO, destination irrelevant as long as it's not where I am now. I want to smash things. I want to eat everything in sight. I want to run around screaming and clutching my head.

Shitshitshitshitshit

windreader @ 2010-08-31T19:56:00

2010-09-01T02:56:13Z

In a steady, illiterate movement homeward...

Dammit.

2010-08-28T02:32:36Z

Despite the fact that I can find no symptoms to suggest I have a brain tumor (okay, yes, migraines and an intention tremor, but they don't correlate and aren't that integral to any brain dysfunction diagnosis anyway) I continue to hold the vague conviction that I must have one. It's the migraine's that really set me off -- they're new in the past six months or so, and I'm not having tension headaches as much. I don't like the exchange. Tension headaches at least respond to one pain killer or another.

Another appealing thing about this hypochondriac delusion is that I could blame being crazy on a brain tumor. That would be nice. That would be overwhelmingly, absurdly soothing. Fuck but I hate being this fucked up person.

A more reasonable conclusion I've reached lately is that I'm never going to be employed in any kind of classical full-time position. I can't function full-time because I burn out too quickly and need more than an evening to recoup the energy. This is not helpful in any endeavor to earn money enough to be self-supporting.

Well I Feel Like Crap

2010-08-13T22:55:51Z

I spent time dinking around the evergreen course catalog and have re-concluded that I hate school. I have also registered for class(es) in the vague hope that graduating would be worth the effort despite all evidence to the contrary. I feel like shit about everything that comes to mind currently (and it's been getting that way for about a week), and have no motivation for anything except reading books (most of which I've read before, all of which are brain candy). All the noises of other people existing make me irrationally angry. It's not quite four pm and my father is pouring his first drink of the day. Better, I suppose, than three pm, but still a miserable and disgusting excuse for a coping mechanism. My main coping mechanism is to cease to fully engage with the world; I think I can almost feel my brain atrophying. Good riddance.

Chicken Hutch Bunny Coop

2010-07-28T01:03:09Z

My bunny has a hutch. She gets to hop around. This is very good. She thinks it's pretty fascinating. I am satisfied with my efforts, but I'm not yet done because there are lots of pokey bits on account of it's mostly enclosed with hardware cloth and that shit is stabby-ow if you don't pay really close attention. I figure I'll probably be done with major alterations on it by next week as bunny and I figure out what works and what doesn't. I dragged it inside this afternoon because it was too hot outside and I wanted her fluffiness to try it out--it looks very out-of-place now.

The chickens have taken to wallowing in the left planter and have seriously damaged the tomato and pea population. They also ate my lemon balm and basil. They were still small plants, but c'mon, wtf are the chickens doing in the planter?! On the up side my upper-garden endeavors have become self-sustaining and are expanding into fluffy clouds of short tomato plants. The lettuces are ready for sustained harvesting, which means it's time to plant another set. There are also a couple of enthusiastic squash plants of unknown origin that I didn't decapitate early on because there was space to spare and I was curious. They have some very large, prickly leaves now and are threatening my lettuce row. I'm impatient for them to bloom and set fruit so I can see what they are.

The first row of the retaining wall got laid out this weekend. It's mostly leveled, too, which wasn't easy to accomplish. When I finally get out there and level out the last five or so blocks I can start building the wall for real, and save the hillside from its slow descent. And when it's all done I shall plant some perennial flowery things to cascade down the front. I've always wanted that.

I'm thinking about putting up flier-ads for knitting classes and/or gardening employment. Both of these things would be very good, and I'm both vaguely hopeful and utterly petrified by the entire idea.

Everything Is Better With A Soundtrack

2010-07-20T17:54:32Z

I'm listening to Harry and The Potters. They are an exquisitely horrid band, but the funny overwhelms almost all of the horror. Some of the songs are unbearable, but the others make it all worthwhile. Thank you, Kak, for giving me this band!

Incidentally, I've noticed that the world becomes a much better place when I turn on some music.

I've been thinking about what makes a good book, and I'm still of the opinion that popular != good, but certainly it's nice to get big sales when you've managed to produce a good book. J.K. Rowling didn't write great books, but she wrote very compelling ones that were highly accessible, great for kids, and fun for adults. There were no "irrelevant" details, so you never learned something about the wizarding world that wasn't going to be critical to the storyline later. This seems both good and bad. Introducing the thing before using it keeps it from seeming like you made it up to fix the storyline (eg. certain Star Trek things). But only ever telling us about things that are used later makes it easier to see the plot before you actually read it. On the other hand, it does keep the books relatively uncluttered. Hm...

Oh, and yes, I really am thinking mostly about fantasy and sci-fi novels, this being the kind that I most readily consume.

I think a good book is easier to make once you make good characters that people can form opinions and care about. Now, how do I go about creating a character with enough depth to be real...

windreader @ 2010-07-17T13:08:00

2010-07-17T20:08:41Z

I gave the rabbit a toy from the set that my father recently purchased for the cats. It's a ball with a bell inside and I strung it up over her cage and sat around to watch until she did something other than glare at me. Eventually she stepped forward and tapped it with her nose, which made it swing and band against the glass, which startled her. She didn't go back into the cower-from-the-giant-human pose, but did go back to mostly just looking at me funny. Ear's up, though, so I had a little happy about that.

Another Litany

2010-07-13T18:08:01Z

Yesterday I dug a trench across the garden to get at least a beginning of the retaining wall task done. I didn't pay sufficient attention to my body and have since discovered (1) a sunburn on my upper back and (2) my lower back is completely non-functional for pain-free activities. Having treated my back with a hot pad and some general muscle-mashing from my mom I am delighted to say the the pain has shrunk down to a single strip across my lower back. Having most of your back experiencing muscle spasms is not a nice thing.

Today I'm debating with myself as to whether I need to sink the trench another three inches to give the footing some soil to counterbalance any forward motion the back fill might care to generate. I've concluded that I don't need to lay gravel for the base because the soil I'm working with is very sandy and compactable (LJ doesn't think that's a word?). I'll probably get it to the depth I really want, smash it down a bit, and then pour water along the trench and have another go at smashing it flat. I've tied out a piece of string from stick to stick stuck in the dirt and leveled the string as precisely as I can. If I go for another three inches I'm going to have to re-level the lines, but for now my perfectionism is satisfied.

All the critters are still alive. It seems that the raccoons are either unable to open the coop (I should hope so, considering how I built it) or uninterested in a chicken dinner they have to catch and kill first. I've come up with an idea for the built-in watering system and I think I'm going to mirror it with a built-in feed system, but I'm not sure on that because the chickens can be convinced to go into the coop at night by pouring new food for them. Maybe I'll just put in a little hatch so the food can be added without the awkwardness of reaching underneath the shelf for the laying boxes. The water is going to be bolted onto the outside of the coop and I'm gonna put a little trough inside and connect it with some tubing. Hard or soft is still unknown, since I'm pretty sure I can find both in the garage, but I'll try it out and see if the mechanism might prefer one or the other.

The rabbit likes her hay and most of the other things I've been bringing in for her. I'm tempted to set her out to graze under a cage-form, but I'm also still debating about whether or not she'll dig her way out while I'm not looking. If I had the space I'd build a cage system and put some hefty wire a foot or so below the surface as a block for the digging, but I don't have the space, so I may just have to wire the whole cage and let her at the greens that come through the wires.

I am feeling generally successful. My plants are alive and growing, my critters are alive and seem to all be fairly happy, the wall is beginning to happen, and I have done all of this myself. This makes all of it "mine" in a way, and that is helping with my general sensation of useless parasite status in my parents' house.

Critters And My Sense Of Self

2010-07-08T03:36:47Z

Last week my mother and I took a trip off-island and purchased three Rhode Island Red chickens. The chicken coop I spent so much time building from scraps of wood is now christened with chicken poo and frustration. However, there are still three chickens, so I'd have to call the endeavor a success. Next chicken task: build a watering system into the coop so we don't have to deal with the enormous, ungainly, round-in-a-square-box watering mechanism currently in use. After that it's the nesting boxes, but these ladies won't be laying for a couple months yet.

On the same trip we stopped off and picked up a rabbit. This critter was free and from a friend in my online-game. She's an angora, French angora I think, and she's fairly old and really skittish about being touched. Since she's a rabbit her reaction is to freeze, which makes it fairly easy to handle her, but I hope she gets more comfortable with it because I want to be able to groom her properly without feeling like a terrible person. She started out in the garage, but we've got her moved to the basement because of the heat.

I've been having to water the garden plants because of the heat. I found some little strawberry plants the last time I went weeding and transplanted them to the end of my row of lettuce. They didn't have long enough to put down roots before the heat came in and they are very wilted. I doubt they'll survive, but they aren't the only strawberries we have going, so no big deal really. The front planters are being over-taken by a mass of volunteer tomato plants which make me smile every time I go out there.

Blocks for the retaining wall were delivered today. Before 8am. Because, I'm sure, the world is plotting new ways to interrupted my already unstable sleep patterns. Two full pallets of very heavy cement blocks are now sitting in the driveway waiting for me to get my ass in gear and take a stab at laying out a carefully shaped, level-as-possible foundation row. Trying to weave a wall between the perennial plants in the garden should be tons of fun. On the other hand, I will then have more upper garden to play in and less lower-garden to despise. Hopeful thoughts.

These are my Things, in case you haven't noticed: I feed, I tend, I build, and I fix. All of these activities make me feel more like a worthwhile human being and less like a mentally unstable, unemployable, byproduct of society. Yay!

windreader @ 2010-06-26T22:33:00

2010-06-27T05:33:11Z

This is my confession
I'm emotionally attached to you
Let's find a house and move in together
Sit on the couch and watch the weather
Through the picture window that
Looks out over the kitchen garden
Until our past lives are all but forgotten