Stepping Out

It's not like dating, oh no, it's more like finding places to go where I will get picked up by people and reminded of my own existence and the grand things in life that can help me in counteracting the poisonous after-taste of eating in the presense of dragons. I could really use about two hours of hug time, but I don't have anyone who wants to just sit with me and hold me tight until I stop crying and stop needing to cry. I need to babble until I've emptied myself out. I need to love and be loved by people with whom I don't share dragons.

The other option is stepping out of my head and turning off, turning out the light and going to sleep, leaving myself on autopilot. It feels strange, but it works well enough usually. And it's safer in that state than any other.

Dammit.