| Money Troubles |
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| 10:44pm 28/01/2004 |
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mood:  moody
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I have been through many moods over the last week or so and I think I went through about a dozen of them just today. Therefore I thought 'moody' was the best way to discribe my mood for today. Today was my second snow day. When the area schools are closed near the day care I work at......so is the day care. The problem with this is....I don't get paid for these two days. Now normally this wouldn't be so bad. I got a lot done and I should be proud of that fact. I guess I felt pride as one of my moods today. However, I was sick last week and missed two and a half days of work. Then I had the weekend off to go back home. I didn't end up going back home because of being sick. So the point is.....I have missed WAY too much work over the last two weeks. None of it being of my own fault really. Now this is bad enough without the events of today. The events of today just had to make the lack of money into a bigger issue. I decided that being snowed in without milk or bread was a bad thing and wanted to go to the store. Now understand that Heidi was working from home the last couple days because of the snow. So between what I wanted and what she wanted, we had a decent sized list and I was ready to head to the store. I went out to start my van so it could warm up, and guess what? It wouldn't start!! Now the last time it did this I had it towed in and the damn thing started for the guy. He said he couldn't fix what wasn't broke and so I just paid for the tow and took it back. I had it towed in again and then sat and pouted. The guy finally calls after a few hours to tell me that I needed a tune up really bad. It was going to cost me a few hundred, but should fix the problem right up. OK....so here I am home once again without pay and he is telling me I have to come up with $300!!! Anyway.....I told him to give me a call when it was ready and then I sat and pouted some more. When i say pout....I don't really mean sit with my bottom lip out and whine. When I 'pout' it is more just sitting and thinking. I came to the conclusion that I have been through this too many times to let it get me down. It isn't like this is the first time I have had money troubles. I am ALWAYS having money troubles! So, I got off my ass and got some more work done around the house. I am now more in debt to Heidi, but I have a working van and our kitchen is well on its way to being organized. Alll in all.....it really could have been a worse day I guess.
My mom just messaged me. I do love her! She can always make me feel better. What are mothers for if they can't make their kids feel better huh? Just another mood change I guess......LOL. Anyway.....gotta go.
Missy :) |
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| Can It Get Any Worse?? |
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| 07:12pm 21/01/2004 |
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Well I think the last couple days have almost been more then I can handle. Yesterday Heidi gets a call from a job she applied for in Nebraska. They think she is a very likely candidate. OK......this means I have to think about if I would want to move to Nebraska with her or if I have to find another solution. Honestly.....I don't want to move to another state. Everyone I know and love are in Michigan. However, I don't know where I would live if she moves. I have to say that this is all a bit scary to me. I didn't think I would have to face this. She used to love her job and never talked about leaving Michigan, but her position changed and she no longer enjoys it. *sigh* I don't know what to think. I am being selfish and hoping she doesn't get it. I know that probably makes me a bad friend, but I can't help it. This is basically a bad time in my life for this to happen. I have been looking for a better job myself and I can't afford a place on my own at this time. So that was yesterday.
I have been fighting with a cold for about a week now. It finally got to the point where my throat was really hurting and so I decided to take today off and go to the doctor. I have strep throat. Lucky me. So I spent money I didn't have to go to the doctor and then get a perscription. On top of spending money I don't have.....I had to take today off and tomorrow. The real kick in the ass.....when I went to leave for the doctors, my van wouldn't start. I took Heidi's car and then tried my van again when I got home. No luck. I had to have it towed to the shop tonight. They are going to call me tomorrow with an estimate. I am suppose to go to my mom's house this weekend. Had plans with my best friend Maria. Now I don't know if I can afford to go. So basically.....all of this adds up to me wanting to crawl in a hole and forget about it all. Maybe hybernate for the rest of winter.....sounds good to me!
That is my sad story for the week. I just pray it doesn't get any worse. I know for a fact that I can't handle any more bad news. I consider myself to be a rather strong person, but sometimes I just can't be all that strong alone. Anyway.....enough whining. We will see what tomorrow has in store for me.
Missy |
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| No Worries.... |
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| 10:12pm 18/01/2004 |
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mood:  sick
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It takes a lot to really get me upset at someone....or to make me think negative about them. Jim and I have been emailing for over a month now. We talked on the phone a few times now. We are finding that we have so many things in common. I enjoy talking to him very much. I light up when I see his emails. I LOVE writing him emails. Things have been going along so well and we are talking about setting up a meeting sometime in February. Jim's biggest concern is his children. He has three. We have talked a lot about spending time to get to know each other and making sure not to rush things too much.
Well this weekend he emailed me and told me something rather important. He told me that he had a second marriage and divorce. We still need to talk about this more....but I know from his email that they were together for over a year before getting married....and she moved in with him. She moved miles away from her home town and family to do so. He says she was "out of her element"....and that she found it harder to deal with his children then she thought it would. He gets visitation. He is not a full time dad. However, I guess she couldn't handle it anyway. So she left him after a little over a year and the divorce was final this last October. Now he says this is why he is so insistant about taking time to get to know each other. He also has made it clear that he wants to keep his children out of the relationship for a long time. Now that he has told me this I understand a lot more. I am glad he told me. The thing is......he thought I would hold it against him and judge him on it. I do realize that I am only getting his side of everything, but I do not see the need to judge him on the fact that he has been divorced twice. I do wonder if there isn't more to it then he is telling me.....but that is something I have time to find out.
I guess my feelings on this are just that I em overwhelmed. I have my own issues from past relationships. I could compare my relationship with Jerry to his second marriage. I just didn't get to the actual marriage. I was the one that moved in with him and was 'out of my element'. I was the one that ended up not being able to handle the conditions...and I left. I might not have been married and divorced twice.....but I have been engaged twice. I can't hold that against him...and it is too early to judge him at all. So basically....I just keep telling myself and him....."No Worries". Just take the time to get to know each other. Meet and see how that goes. Hopefully will go well and we will continue on from there. I just can see some issues and walls for us both to work through. I hope we get that far. I still have very good feelings about this. I am still excited! *shrug* So thats that....for now. He will either be calling me tonight or tomorrow night. I hope we can talk this through some. I don't like him thinking I will write him off so easily. That has to stop. Anyway.....done for now.
Missy :) |
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| Starting Over |
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| 08:42pm 14/01/2004 |
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I have decided to start writing in my lj again. I have learned of many new friends that have journals and thought I might as well give it another try. I probably will not get to it every day....but I can at least try a couple times a week. Who knows...it might do wonders for my mind these days.
I came home early today because of the weather. I didn't want to get stuck in rush hour traffic with it being so crappy outside. It was a very scary drive. By the time I got home my hands hurt from gripping the wheel and my shoulders were soooo tense. Not to mention my stomach in knots. Is the main reason I hate my long drive to work. Is about 35-45 minute drive. Was double that today. Now I have to wonder if they will get it all cleared out tonight or not. Might have to miss a day of work. Heidi worked from home today and plans to tomorrow too. I wish I had that option!
I should be laying down and watching the Red Wings game right now. I just got feeling sleepy and figured I better get up and do something. They are ahead 2-1 in the middle of the 2nd period right now. Is a decent game so far. I just love my Wings!!! :D
I think I will leave this for tonight. I have to go start an email to my friend Jim. I have really been enjoying sharing emails and phone calls with him. We are going to talk about getting together sometime next month. I can't wait to meet him face to face!! *sigh* I em a goof..I know!
Missy :) |
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