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Premarital Counseling 5 Ridiculously Invaluable Benefits

Are you ready for marriage?

I’m sure you will agree when I say getting married is one of the greatest days of your life. My wife and I loved our wedding. We often say we would do it again in a heartbeat if someone else paid for it.

Most couples love getting married. Unfortunately, it’s the being married part that can be difficult. You’re probably well aware of the common divorce statistics. Over 50% of marriages end in divorce. Of all the couples that stand in front of their friends, family, and God, Elvis or a JP and say “I do” most of them, actually, “don’t.”

How will you set the pace for a marathon of unity and oneness? Premarital counseling is your best answer.

Here are 5 ridiculously invaluable benefits of choosing premarital counseling before you get married.

#1- Premarital Counseling is proven to decrease your chances of divorce

Countless studies have proven that premarital counseling is the best thing for any marriage. It has shown to decrease divorce by 30%. These studies are so unavoidable that some states have even proposed making it a legal requirement before marriage.

“The point is simple: Pre-marital counseling is the smartest decision that any couple can make.” ~Psychology Today

#2- A Pre-Marriage discussion about expectations is powerful

Communicating expectations early is always the best practice in any partnership and it is extremely important when two people begin a partnership meant to last forever. Often times couples think they “just know” what their partner is thinking. Premarital counseling will examine what each of you thinks about marriage and what you both want for the future. Here are a few questions your premarital counselor may raise:

• What are your expectations for children?
• When will you start trying to have children?
• How many? How far apart?
• How will you raise or punish them?
• How will you handle money?
• Who’s in charge of the bills?
• Will you have separate accounts?
• Are there any “deal breakers” you just will not have in your home or marriage (lying, cheating, drinking too much…)
• What are your feelings about appropriate/inappropriate friendships?

#3- A Premarital counseling session is a great place to examine tough issues

There are issues every couple struggles with. It is easy when discussing these issues, to either get elevated emotionally or to shut down and ignore them. Premarital counseling helps, in the least, to raise your awareness of these issues before they become big enough to threaten the marriage.

#4- Establish great communication skills & conflict resolution from the beginning 

It is so much easier to begin with good practices than to have to undo or untangle bad ones. Everyone has different communication preferences and tendencies. Maybe you like to talk about a problem until it’s thoroughly “talked to death,” maybe your partner prefers to pout and hold a grudge until it just “goes away.” Laying a healthy groundwork for how you will handle conflict early in your marriage will save you from headaches, heartaches, and the seeds of bitterness or resentment.

#5- Premarital counseling will uncover personal DNA that will definitely affect your marriage. 

When two people get married they each bring some baggage. Your childhood experiences, how your parents “did marriage,” your personal values and your religious upbringing all play a huge role in how you will “do marriage.” Maybe your father never touched the dishes. Maybe your mother crammed religion down your throat. Maybe you still carry insecurities from middle school. It is not hard to see how these things form a personal DNA that will affect your relationship. Premarital counseling will not get to the bottom of every issue, but it will raise awareness and prepare you to be alert and ready to resolve quickly.