“Once you identify a problem, don’t tolerate it,” says billionaire investor Ray Dalio.

Great advice for other billionaire investors. For me, with slightly less financial resources, I’ve had to take a more cautious approach.

One of the most surprising aspects of mature adulthood is the degree to which my principles and ideals must be balanced by patience and pragmatism.

I’ve been heavily influenced in this regard by the late, great Thornton W. Morris, a brilliant lawyer who was responsible for the federal legislation that protects Cumberland Island National Seashore. Over the course of his long legal career, his work included stewardship of the estates of prominent figures such as Lucy Carnegie Ferguson and James Brown.

Thornton, who grew up in rural North Georgia, had the kind of musical southern accent that the movies never get right. He was always calm and unhurried when he spoke. And what he said was always surprising and counterintuitive.

I went to him when I was in the midst of a contentious legal and financial situation. How hard do I fight?

“If you can make it back within a year,” he said, “let it go.”

I called him on a weekday morning when I had a student who was trying to sabotage my school from within. (Thirteen-year-olds, man.)

He listened patiently as I described my desire to protect the school by kicking the student out. Then he asked me whether it was worth it to lose the school over this, pointing out in his mild way that the student’s family was likely to be very upset at such a drastic move and spread the word about it. He proposed instead to just accept the situation and make it work for the last couple of months of the school year. That’s exactly what I did.

From Thornton, I learned to hold contradictions and compromises as part of the complexity of life. “She is a lovely person, and she has a tendency to be late,” he might say. Never “but.” It was always “ayyyyyund,” because both things are true, and one truth doesn’t negate the other.

Thornton was a deeply principled person, and he recognized that those principles do not dictate action in and of themselves. The action you choose has to take into account the entire system, not just a moment. That is, if you want more out of life than righteousness.

I carry these lessons forward, sometimes at great cost. In countless situations, letting go of needing to prove I’m right has brought me great peace. I don’t have to teach someone else a lesson. I just need to coexist with that person in the world. Our paths can diverge more cleanly when there is no bad blood.

The result of operating pragmatically has often been to tolerate problems after having identified them — sometimes just for awhile, and sometimes forever.

You could say that it’s a failure to stand up for what’s right, but I see it as wisdom. It’s not a lapse of integrity to accept reality and the limits of my power.

Dalio says that I “need to develop a fierce intolerance of badness of any kind, regardless of its severity.” That’s foolish. A far more useful leadership quality than “intolerance of badness” is discernment. This is all the more important when you are not a billionaire. Most of us need to choose our battles. Being willing to let minor “badness” go allows us to step up and fight when it truly matters.

Who defines “badness,” anyway? The picture will always be subjective, incomplete, and biased. How convenient it would be if that badness were entirely external. The truth is, the conflicts I’ve faced were largely the result of choices I made.

A difficult employee? I hired them.

A difficult student? I admitted them.

Resolving those situations in a generous way, free of blame, is the principled thing to do, even if it means patience, compromise, and tolerating a known problem for a time.

I believe in principles ayyyyund pragmatism. The pragmatic approach may appear to be in conflict with the principles I hold, but it’s not. The one doesn’t negate the other. When you take the longer view, principles and pragmatism coexist peacefully.