rule this land and call yourself kingfisher.

warwolves — Tue, 18 Jan 2011 09:03:20 GMT

Pick a character I write, and I will give you the top five ideas/concepts/other I keep in mind while writing that character that I believe are essential to depicting them accurately. Includes both fandom and original characters.

WHY AM I DOING THIS. I don't even remember what characters I used to play aside from Axel and Acacia soooob.

... I think the main reason is to get people whose characters I like who haven't done this to see it and do it. SO DO IT.

warwolves — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 22:02:21 GMT

sup, kids!

I still ... never have anything to say here. Still totally disconnected from fandom, still not RPing anywhere, still barely even talking to anyone. The only things I have to say about my life are bipolar-related, which are, frankly, depressing and not actually interesting to anyone but me. I miss actually having an internet presence, but I don't really know how to do that anymore.

... But Resonance of Fate is an awesome game! I've gotten used to the battle system and now I adore it (CROSS THE BLUE LINES GO GO GO HERO ACTION SHOOT HIM IN THE FACE).

oh oh oh and I want to cosplay for Comic-Con (if registration ever opens lolol) but I ... have no idea who to do. There's really not that many people I can pull off with being Persian. siiiigh.

Meet Mr. Edgar-Sinclair (but the "Edgar" is silent). I found him wandering around an intersection and stole him for my own nefarious purposes, i.e. loving and cuddling and putting him in sweaters.

... okay, so I guess I have more to say than I thought.

warwolves — Tue, 14 Dec 2010 01:58:40 GMT

Holiday Love Meme

Because it's really not the holidays without me complimentwhoring.

Also, this is a fantastic post about suicide and mental illness. Happy Christmas... !

warwolves — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 08:44:19 GMT

so I said I would do a post. AND I WILL.

I signed up for classes! I actually signed up for classes a week before everyone else— I got into the Disabled Student Services program, hooray for the system working in my favor. I have to take ... 27 units (yes I know) for transfer reasons, and I honestly don't want to go into the whole thing right now because it'll stress me out, but suffice to say that is a lot of classes. The vast majority are easy-A online classes (lol "Introduction to Health") that I've cross-referenced on RateMyProfessor. I'm a little concerned about the two bio and art history classes, but I need them for transfer requirements, sooo what can you do.

I feel kind of awful right now, to be honest. I've been depressed for the last week or two, so I think I need to get my Lamictal upped. whiiich means a trip to the psychiatrist, which means another $110 charge! Or I could just take my usual one pill and then half of another, considering that's what he'd prescribe, anyway. I'm making myself miserable over tiny little things, and everything's spiraling into one big ... miserable spiral. of misery. I want to just fall asleep and not have to be awake and feel like this, which is usually the number one sign that, yep, it's the ol' bipolar acting up again.

misery misery misery. trying to think of things that don't make me unhappy. um.

... I really can't think of anything. wow. okay. uh—

OH RIGHT Golden Sun: Dark Dawn. oh my god guys golden sun. so. much. nostalgia. It's exactly like the first two, which means not particularly good but very pretty and decent gameplay and your party is basically GS1 2.0, except Jenna has blue hair and wind psynergy and Ivan's been replaced with an annoying little nerdball. I'm up to ... the underground city thing! I have no idea, I don't even read the text half the time (which I realize totally diminishes the appeal of Golden Sun) and I'm chilling with Piers's illegitimate son and waiting for Alex to show up again and be politely douchey.

OH AND ALSO: I sent my computer to be fixed about two months ago, and now they've finally told me they're, uh, not going to do it, but here have the $700 you spent on it in the first place! Any suggestions for new ones in the $700-$800 range? I'd prefer laptops that are at least decent for gaming.

warwolves — Sat, 04 Dec 2010 12:45:30 GMT

HI WORLD. I've started about six entries over the last month and deleted them for being Too Boring. Because I am Too Boring. I saw How to Train Your Dragon and that is pretty much the most exciting thing that has happened to me ever. oh and Harry Potter was v. good.

But! It occurs to me! I was looking at Comic-Con thingamajigers and it occurred to me that some of you guys are going, too (if registration ever happens ...). I know it's, uh, about six months in advance, but is anyone thinking about it yet? And does anyone want to be hotel buddies ...

warwolves — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 07:37:02 GMT

SO, UM. SUP, GUYS.

It's only been, uh ... oh man since the fucking festival? in February? I thought I posted before then A LITTLE WHILE.

Brief run-down:

- went to Boston for CUPSI (College Unions Poetry Slam Invitational) as part of the UC Santa Cruz team posse; they made first but because of stupid time penalties got second.
- started my second year of college! I'm taking Jewelry-making/Metalworking, Multicultural Voices* in Gay and Lesbian Literature, World Regional Geography, Intro to Astronomy, Poetry, and Critical Thinking in Social/Cultural Issues.
- helped out at the debut of the Oversocial Mofo Revue, the new San Jose poetry slam/variety show.
- yeah my life is pretty much slam and school

* They aren't really multicultural.

SO HOW ARE YOU GUYS? I love you all so truly and deeply, and yet not enough to read almost eight months worth of backlog :'(

i want some meaning i can memorize

warwolves — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 11:53:28 GMT

oh my GOOD GOLLY GRACIOUS i have been so busy.

It's the middle of the Kinetic Poetics Festival down at UCSC, and while I went down with the intention of just watching, I ended up pretty much becoming part of the crew. I'm filming tomorrow, and probably doing music.

- On the first night, I was taking pictures, and Kevin (the host) comes up and tells me I'm doing music. Three minutes before the show started. So of course I epically freak out because I've never done music before and I don't even know what that entails and what the fuck am I supposed to do, and I ran up and down a flight of stairs in a panicked jingling flail a few times before finally calming down and figuring things out. As it so happens, 'doing music' means 'pick upbeat music to play while Kevin's announcing in between poets,' so I was once again saved by my overextensive music collection. And then I remembered Kevin has a shameful passion for '90s music, so of course all I could play after that was Smash Mouth and Linkin Park and ... Lady Gaga. But that's because it's me. CAUGHT IN A BAD ROMANCE~

- I was running door (taking people's money and handing out programs, basically) one night, and there was a very cute hipster who was disappointed we didn't stamp people's hands at the break. So I drew a dead koala on the back of his wrist. I think we were flirting! He had very nice hair.

- I spent a lot of time hanging out with Andrew (one of the guys who lives in the crazy poet house), which was interesting. We always have fascinating intellectual conversations, and he's one of the few people that doesn't make me feel so much older than him.

- Kevin and Andrew had a drunken impromptu riff after one of the semifinals and oh my god it was glorious.

- On Sunday, I was talking about how much I regretted not being able to make it on Wednesday, because oh my god Amy Everheart is featuring aaaahhhhhh first female winner of IWIPS sjdhfds. And it's finals, too, and it was just kind of disappointing not to be able to come back for money. And ... people chipped in for gas. Without me asking! Without anything in return! And told me how helpful I had been! I still get kind of choked up when I try to talk about it, because I think that's honestly one of the nicest things someone else has done for me in years upon years upon years upon ever, and it kind of briefly shattered my view on the world before I got my cynic groove going again.

I feel like these people are actually my friends now, like I'm really becoming part of the slam scene, and it's ... really surreal. In a good way, I think. It's kind of hard to think about — again, I'm pretty sure in a good way.

I think I have comments from before I left that I haven't responded to, and I'm really sorry, I'll get to them ... just as soon as festival's over. Craaaaazy busy. I'm filming the finals and putting them on Youtube, so I'll link when they're up (for all of the none of you that are interesting in slam poetry).

the clock's heart, it hangs inside its open chest

warwolves — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 13:03:18 GMT

Tuesday was Santa Cruz slam, Wednesday was Berkeley slam, and then on Saturday I go back down to Santa Cruz until Monday for the KPP festival. Plus classes. I'm in a state of perpetual exhaustion ... but also, apparently, complete contentment. I feel like I'm finding my place ♥

CLASSES. What the hell. Introduction to Politics. oh my god. oh my god! My teacher is a crazy right-winger who's already talked about how Obama's a socialist and liberal professors and textbooks are indoctrinating students and holy bugfucking bajeezus he's insane. I am very afraid.

Magic, Witchcraft, and Religion in the Americas. This seems like it's going to be really interesting. The teacher's strict (50 points off if more than four absences oh god), but she seems to have a decent sense of humor. The final project involves writing a paper on any given religion and attending two services — neat.

Comparative Religions. It's ... very easy. haha. I took this last semester, actually, but ended up dropping out of, uh, philosophical incompatibility with the professor. But this semester it's taught by my Intro to Ethics teacher, which is great — she loves me and lets me get away with way too much, which is good, considering this is Santa Cruz slam night. Anyway, I don't even have to start studying until we reach Islam mid-semester.

Freshman English. I'm ... not sure what to think, honestly! I mean, on one hand, I really like the teacher: he spent the first hour and a half of class just getting to know us, which was pretty damn neat. On the other, though, he says he grades primarily on conciseness, which iiiiis not promising for me.

American Ethnic Cultures in Film. We get to see District 9. FUCK YEAH. Besides that, uh ... it's a film class. I fall asleep a lot.

So on Saturday I saw my new psychiatrist for the first time. It was pretty uneventful — I got a prescription for Lamictal, a promise to discuss anxiety/antidepressants next appointment after I've adjusted to the Lamictal, and a list of recommended psychologists (which is really the necessary component here). He's pretty boring, honestly, but he listened to what I was saying, and that's more than I can say for the last one. He has a dog named April at the office with him, and she's a total sweetheart. ♥

warwolves — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 20:02:43 GMT

So I guess my alarm clock went off and someone turned it off without waking me up again, because it's half an hour before auditions and there's no chance I can get there and park before they start.

Well. Okay then.

warwolves — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 10:33:11 GMT

View Poll: SUPER IMPORTANT POLL OF IMPORTANT

Keep in mind I'm a first soprano, so most of these would get knocked up an octave or two. "Defying Gravity" is prooobably the best choice, but a) I'm worried it's overused, and b) it's been done a lot, and a lot better, so there's more unfavorable comparison. "Maybe This Time" would be good, but it's lower than I usually sing and I don't want to get sorted into the altos.

... And I can't sing "Under the Sea" without a Jamaican accent.

warwolves — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 23:44:56 GMT

schedule.

MONDAY	6 - 8:50	Introduction to Politics
TUESDAY	2 - 3:15	Magic, Witchcraft, and Religion in the Americas
	4 - 6:50	Comparative Religion
WEDNESDAY
THURSDAY	2 - 3:15	Magic, Witchcraft, and Religion in the Americas
	4 - 6:50	Freshman English
FRIDAY	7 - 9:50	American Ethnic Cultures in Film

HOLIDAYS
Friday, 2/12
Monday, 2/15
Monday-Friday, 4/5-4/9 - SPRING BREAK

SANTA CRUZ SLAMS
2/2 - FREE
2/16 - FREE (film in class)
3/2 - quiz
3/16 - midterm - FREE (finish within hour)
3/30 - FREE (film in class)
4/13 - film assignment due
4/27 - FREE
5/11 - quiz on islam
5/25 - final

POLSC-120 9080 Introduction to Politics - (SC) - 3 Units
M 6:00-8:50pm SRV-W218 Boone, S Full Term
MUSIC-166 1376 Chamber Singers - (SC) - 1 Unit
TTH 12:30-1:45pm M-101 Peppo, B Full Term
ANTHR-120 3012 Magic, Witchcraft, and Religion in the Americas - (SC) - 3 Units
TTH 2:00-3:15pm LA-208B Cross, L Full Term
PHILO-220 8081 Comparative Religion - (SC) - 3 Units
T 4:00-6:50pm H-106 Pavesich, V
ENGL-122 8305 Freshman English: Composition and Reading - (LR) - 3 Units
TH 4:00-6:50pm LC-103 Budd, G
FILM-160 8182 American Ethnic Cultures in Film - (SC) - 3 Units
F 7:00-9:50pm FORUM Olson, G

PSYCH-101 5000 Introduction to Psychology - (SC) - 3 Units
ONLINE Rehr, E 1/22 - 3/19

warwolves — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 01:27:56 GMT

thenandnow

It seems like every entry lately's had a meme, but sdjgnaaagh so tired/busy.

First class (American Ethnic Cultures in Film) is tonight. Fun!

warwolves — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 12:40:01 GMT

get to know me

I'm writing up my resume! It's ... really bloody surreal, that's what it is, but it's also less empty than I thought it'd be. There's an part-time slot at the local Planned Parenthood I want like hell, and it's the first job I've considered that doesn't just hand out applications. Like I said, surreal.

I'm also getting the list of numbers for psychologists/psychiatrists from Mom and calling them myself. It's kind of the only way it'll get done, I think. I've been unmedicated for the last month or so, and while I haven't hit any lows, I'm aware it's like playing Russian roulette with a bullet in every other chamber, and I think I can feel one coming on. So. Science!

... My mind is just not on the right level for writing an eljay post right now, I think. I just feel ... really not okay, and I feel bad about feeling not okay, and for apparently being okay with talking about not being okay. sigh. maaaybe that low's closer than I thought.

BUT. HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL. Unless it doesn't.

:D

this post contains absolutely nothing of value :'(

warwolves — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 03:00:58 GMT

HELLO NEW FRIENDING MEME FRIENDS

(this is very, very late)

Iiii'm Jaz! Jazzy. Jazzyjaz. I did a meme a few weeks ago that has more information than anyone could possibly want. I haven't really been involved in fandom in a while, so my posts have been super hyper crazy boring lately. I've been getting into VDex Project (PLUG PLUG PLUG), though, and apocalypticae is starting soon, so there should be some vaguely interesting posts!

... hopefully ...

... WAIT, you say, WHAT WAS THAT LAST ONE?

I'm glad you asked.

apocalypticae is an OC (!!!) RP in the style of worldresolution/resolutionremix — aka in the style of X1999. It's ~~most definitely going~~ expected to be dark, with adult themes, like murder and crucifixion* and death and removal of eyes* and someone's getting impaled on the Space Needle. There's about a 50/50 chance any given character will die (unless you're ~~lame~~ not okay with yours dying, of course, in which case they can always go to another city where they have a 50/50 chance of dying), and it's going to be TOTALLY AWESOME.

Apps for kamui/gemini positions ~~close~~ START GETTING REVIEWED, uh, tomorrow. Don't know what those are? GO CHECK OUT THE OOC COMM.

* Guys, it's based on a CLAMP manga.
* Guys. It's based on a CLAMP manga.

warwolves — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 00:39:45 GMT

... SO I SLEPT THROUGH BEING AIM SERENADED BY NOT ONE, BUT TWO PEOPLE. And then one of those people over the course of the next eleven hours.

I set my alarm! ... whiiiich my dad came in and turned off and didn't wake me up. Thanks, Dad.

IN CONCLUSION:

:(

take her in your arms like cyanide

warwolves — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 14:04:15 GMT

lapras.sushi: Jasmine....what if they KNOW we are in the house?
aubrecia: carolers are fearsome once they catch sight of their prey, but they are notoriously unintelligent and easy to fool
lapras.sushi: So we should get the bats ready?
Of the baseball persuasion
aubrecia: it's all good, i've got the vats of boiling oil waiting above the door
lapras.sushi: They'll never know what hit them XD
Especially when in their blindness I hit them with a baseball bat

The holidays bring families together.

So I got grades back!

Introduction to Ethics

huge

bad

proud

World Mythology

too

Math for Liberal Arts

WHAT THE HELL.

praying

Ever.

This means my GPA is 3.33, which is ~~the best it's ever been~~ definitely on track. I'm still set on UC Berkeley, but now I've got a second choice, UC Santa Cruz. Which is good, considering my previous backup plan was UC Jump Off a Bridge.

I've signed up for next semester's classes, which are: Introduction to Politics, Comparative Religions (retaking with a better teacher), Freshman English, and American Ethnic Cultures in Film. I'm also taking Human Sexuality and Introduction to Psychology online. Y-yeah, a lot compared to this one. But I proved to my parents I'm doing fine in college, and I do best when I'm kept very busy.

Oh, also! I've signed up for Chamber Singers. My old choir teacher kind of bummed me out regarding choir for a while, but I've started really missing it. I've got to pick a song to audition with — I'm thinking 'Eric's Song' or Glee's version of 'Maybe This Time.' WE'LL SEE.

My carefully-planned schedule means I have Wednesday nights free for slam still, and I'll be skipping a few Tuesday classes to go down to the Santa Cruz slam more. It's ... weird, to almost feel like I fit in somewhere? I've never felt like that anywhere, but the poetry community's starting to feel like that. It's really nice.

LONG POST IS LONG and doesn't even address Christmas. The holidays are generally very depressing for me, though, and this year's not really any different, and everything else about this post is all optimistic and cheerful. So fuck that ♥

warwolves — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 00:47:31 GMT

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

Last Sunday I turned offensive in for eating carbs (3 points). Last Tuesday I caught a purse-snatcher who stole angeling's purse (30 points). In September I stole korrigan's purse (-30 points). In April I committed genocide... Sorry about that, temperamental (-5000 points). In April I set furious's puppy on fire (-66 points).

Overall, I've been naughty (-5063 points). For Christmas I deserve a moldy sandwich!

Sincerely,
warwolves

Where, exactly, did I turn offensive in? Vital information.

warwolves — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 05:01:55 GMT

campkismet aaaaahhhhhhhhhh

ORIGINAL
Caspian Caiyd; shedmyownskin (everthorne)

AU
Jasper Cromwell; darkerthings (son of Hades)
Jack Graver; tollsoftime (son of Coyote)
Acacia Hazard (daughter of Ishtar)
Cain King (son of Set)
Fin; ghostpuppy (cu sith)
Ariadne Seadre (daughter of Kali)

NEW
Anya Connors (original story; daughter of Loki)
Elliot Gray
??? (son of Baron Samedi)
??? (daughter of the Morrigan)
??? (SOMETHING of Anansi)

POSSIBLE/I HAVE NO IDEA
Gale Esaies

warwolves — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 12:45:56 GMT

【THE TIME CAPSULE MEME】

Not reading any of the comments until next year — I'm setting up a gmail filter so I don't even see notifications. It would be really pathetic if I said that and no one replied! So you should reply, right? Right! :D!

warwolves — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 12:16:24 GMT

LIFE. Life life life. I feel like I should update more, so, uh. I am.

Three weeks left of classes, and then I'm done with my first semester of college. It's ... kind of terrifying, honestly. The whole growing up thing is kind of terrifying. Soooo I don't think about it MOVING ON.

School in general is going pretty okay. I've definitely got a high A in Ethics, probably a low A or B+ in Mythology. Math, I know I have a C+, which kind of sucks, but whatever. After this class, I NEVER HAVE TO TAKE MATH AGAIN, and so, really, I'm just trying to get through it with a passing grade. I've figured out my schedule for next semester, which is cuh-raaaayzee — five regular classes and two online (though one of them is only half a term), but I need it to make up for dropping Comparative Religions this semseter.

I had a reasonably good idea for an OC RP today when I was supposed to be studying for math, actually (HAHAHAhaha studying), but then I remembered that it's not 2006 and they've gone extinct. Like Tasmanian tigers, a rare sighting is reported now and again, but it's never proven or substantial.* It sucks, because I really, really miss non-panfandom RPing. le sigh.

My, uh, New October's resolution was to start being a bit more emotionally honest, so I guess I'm allowed to admit I've actually been feeling pretty damn shitty lately. I haven't had a proper bipolar depression since around ... March, I believe, so I was kind of overdue for it, anyway. I just wish it didn't come right around finals, because all I want to do is stay in bed and stare at an unplugged TV or something. I'm not in a particularly good place right now. But Mom's finally going to get me to see a psychologist/psychiatrist WONDERTWIN POWERS ACTIVATE again, which is ... really, really belated. I stopped seeing my old ones about two and a half years ago, because they were both utterly incompetent, but I'm actually going to check out more than just the first ones I have appointments with this time. I've got a basket full of new issues to deal with, anyway**. And hopefully I'll get put on proper medication!

... Hope springs eternal, anyway.

EDIT: Oh dear god, guys, PSA: do not read posts from when you were fifteen when you're already feeling bad or you'll want to invent a time machine just so you can punch yourself in the face. I'll just. I'll organize tags later, I guess. ;;

* That was a ridiculous metaphor and I apologize.
** Get it? Get it? 'Basket'? Basketcase?*** HA HA HA HA.
*** That was a ridiculous joke and I apologize.

ALSO MY PERIOD'S DUE :)b

warwolves — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 17:50:34 GMT

jazzy: okay dear jesus christ
jazzy: i went downstairs to get food! aaand dad hadn't let the dog out so he ripped up the trash bag! which had used cat litter in it! that i had to clean up! right in front of the stove!
jazzy: so i went to get ramen instead of scrambled eggs ... and the bag of ramen had spiders in it!
jun: ................ what
jun: fdshfjshd whsdjfndsmidsf jsdh ho
jazzy: so i freak out and leave to go get food! and the first store had nothing hot! and then i fucking almost hit a fucking sparrow on the way leaving WHO HITS A FUCKING SPARROW
jazzy: THEY'RE BIRDS
jazzy: THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO MOVE
jazzy: and then i went to expensive ~organic~ whole foods but they had scrambled eggs so whatever ............. but mom has a new card and it was declined! so i had to scrounge enough cash together!
jazzy: oh and i almost hit a pole when i was parking at whole foods
jazzy: ....... wow, listing it all off actually makes me feel a lot more :'D about it
jun: ..............
jun: that
jun: ... i don't even
jun: and this is in, like, what, 40 minutes?
jazzy: PRETTY MUCH

warwolves — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 23:56:39 GMT

Baby-sitting right now, so I probably shouldn't be online, but whatever okay they're upstairs with their friend and I'm just playing around with their piano like an idiot.

ANYWAY.

May's home for good from the vet's. It was deeefinitely scary there for a while: she got to come home for a few days, but then it turned out that either her iron or T cell* levels were about half what they needed to be, so we had to bring her back over the weekend for a full blood transfusion. At first the vet told us to, um, "steal a fat cat from the neighbors" so we could steal some blood and bring it back.

Yeah.

But the neighbors take awful care of their cats and we didn't want to risk her catching anything, so we just used his fat cat which makes me wonder why he didn't suggest that to begin with. It all went great, she's home, and she's back to being fucking pissed off at the world, especially since I have her locked in the dog's giant crate until she's fully recovered enough to go outside.

Arman and Mom both have swine flu— I was actually kind of worried about leaving Mom at home, because her fever hit 102.3 this morning, but she told me to go, so. Dad and I keep offering to make them bacon, which they don't seem to appreciate at all. Bastards.

THAT IS PRETTY MUCH IT. I want to play the Persona remake so bad so someone better strip that firmware upgrade soon. If P3PSP has it, I'll cry blood.

oh also! I thiiiink I might want to think about thinking about getting back into RPing sometime soon. This is a very dumb idea, because next semester's coming up and I'm doubling my courseload, but what the hell. MOOD: QUIXOTIC.

nooow to finish summarizing my drug legalization chapters for ethics. how exciting.

OH ALSO ALSO: PROTESTS STARTING UP AGAIN IN IRAN, FUCK YEAH.

warwolves — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 06:42:11 GMT

Okay, so. Final diagnosis is a broken rib and a punctured lung. Not good, obviously, but ... she was so, so fucking lucky. There's an infinite amount of things that could have happened, the vast majority of them fatal. If one of the punctures on her side had ripped, she would have likely been disemboweled. There are more on her head, but none of them hit her eyes or throat.

The problem right now is that she's still not eating — as soon as she starts again, she can come home. And we really, really need her to come home: apparently the bank jacked up the mortgage an extra thousand, anyway, and this has racked up ... a lot. Way more than we can afford. She's been at three different veterinary hospitals, and only one's willing to work out a payment plan — the worst of the three, of course, but we have to transfer her back tomorrow. And my brakes went out the day before all this happened, and it turned out I had a cylinder leak, and that cost $600 on its own.

The main problem right now, besides finances, is getting the cats in at night. Now that we know coyotes apparently can and will come this far down, we need to keep them all in before dark, obviously. The only person besides me who's even slightly competent at it is Mom, and I'm at class from 1 to 7 PM, soooo I pretty much have to rely on her for this. And we all know how well relying on either of my parents tends to go. Arman's already fucked up twice and let one or more cats get out, and when it happens, Dad just keeps watching TV and doesn't even bother getting up. I ... don't know what to do, honestly. I really don't.

I've been feeling nauseated a lot this week, but I'm not entirely sure whether it's actual sickness or stress. Probably the latter, honestly. I didn't go to class on the Tuesday it happened ... which was, of course, the day I had Comparative Religions, with the one teacher that caps absences at two before he drops you. And of course I've already had two. I emailed him and offered to show documentation from the vet, and if he does try, I'll pitch a fit and contact administration: college rule is that they can't even think about any sort of disciplinary measures until four absences.

This is all tl;dr, and I'm really sorry. I know no one actually cares! I just really need somewhere to vent so I don't obsess, and I don't have anyone in real life who wants to hear it. I can't even talk to Mom — she's way more stressed than I am, especially since she has to lie to Dad about how much this costs so he doesn't call the vet and tell them to just put her down without letting us know. Yeah, he's a fucking winner.

warwolves — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 13:02:45 GMT

jesus christ. jesus. Okay!

I was procrastinating on my midterm paper, and then my dog started freaking out. He freaks out when anyone so much as opens their car door, so I didn't think it was a big deal, buuuut it was 2:30 and he kept barking. So I looked out the window and saw four coyotes on the lawn, standing over something.

I fucking sprint down the stairs, obviously, aaaaand it turns out they were over Maya. She is, for the record, the first cat that was ever solely mine, the first cat I ever picked out, and my fucking baby. They bolted as soon as I came near them, then she crawled under the car and wouldn't come out.

Long story short, I get her out, Mom and I bring her to the emergency vet (just as it starts raining in my car with the shot breaks, fun). She's just about stable right now. They'll tell us if we can transfer her to the regular vet in the morning.

Just. jesus. I don't even know. I'm still in shock, I think. She was near the edge of the lawn, which means she attacked the coyotes first, which is totally fucking typical of the little bitch. One cat, four coyotes, THEY NEVER SAW WHAT HIT THEM.

I'm skipping class tomorrow, obviously. My comparative religions prof only allows two absences and this'll be my third, so, uh, I hope he's got some shred of compassion. Aaand my goddamn midterm paper's due, but I couldn't care less right now.

The dog gets a fucking bucket of milk bones, man. A. Fucking. Bucket.

warwolves — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 07:14:21 GMT

WOW it's been a long time since I've updated. Huh!

So. So! Uh. Life. If I had made this post, say, a week ago, I could say how well I'm doing in classes, how things are pretty great life-wise, blah blah blah. Buuuut I kind of crashed on Wednesday night and now I'm convinced I'm going to fail all my classes and live in a cardboard box somewhere. Objectively speaking, I'm pretty sure this isn't actually true — in fact, I know for a fact I have an A and an A- in two of my classes, but. Iiii don't know. I really wish we had quarter system instead of semester, because it really sucks being thrown straight into normal school from Venture.

I haven't been part of any fandom/RP in at least eight months now, so I'm sure my posts are really goddamn boring. Sorry about that. I don't really have the energy for real life half of the time, let alone sparkly awesome online life. WHY WOULD I DO THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY???

okay okay okay, less depressing stuff. Uh. I've been going to the Berkeley Poetry Slam every week since mid-August or something. It's really great, aaand while I'm not writing any actual prose lately, I am getting out some shitty poetry, at least. So, uh, there's that.

OH. Vienna Teng next weekend. yesssss. I'm saving up to buy tickets to her December San Fran show, too. So. Yeah.