Tag infidelity

TEN TIPS TO HELP PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGE AGAINST ADULTERY / EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIRS (TIP#5)

Kim Sweeting 4 Comments

10 TIPS TO HELP PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGE AGAINST

ADULTERY / EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIRS – (TIP #5)

“TOGETHER FOREVER”

Adultery –“voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband” 

(Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary)

Of late, many Christian women that I either know personally or Christian friends or associates of these women were shattered by the discovery of their husband’s involvement in an extra-marital affair, or multiple affairs.

At some point, a door opened in the marital relationship that led from one thing to the next and now, in some cases after 20-25 years of marriage, the specter of divorce looms menacingly over a covenant relationship that once brought joy and fulfillment to the husband and wife and glory to God.

Many in today’s permissive society consider extramarital sex as acceptable and blameless, however in God’s view, this is not so. His sexual standard for marriage is fidelity, i.e. sexual relations between a man and his wife or a woman and her husband only.

“Thou shalt not commit adultery.”

(Exodus 20:14 – KJV)

“No adultery.”

(Deuteronomy 5:18 – The Message)

 “Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.”

(Hebrews 13:4 – NLT)

“Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.”

(Hebrews 13:4 – The Message)

God’s stand on extramarital sex is clear. He makes absolutely no room for sexual relations with anyone other than your spouse and provides no exceptions to His rule.

In light of this, here is TIP #5 to help protect your marriage against adultery.

TIP #5

Spend time doing things together.

One of the most common ways that intimacy, a sense of connectedness and even general communication is lost in a marriage is by spouses not spending enough time together.

It was spending time together that was key in creating your relationship with your spouse and it is spending time together that will help preserve it.

Beware of contracting the lethal “two ships passing in the night syndrome” i.e., you and your spouse becoming so enmeshed in your own worlds, or so caught up in daily responsibilities, schedules, and commitments, that you spend little or no time with each other and end up simply sharing the same living space with little or no meaningful contact.

In the same vein, beware also of investing so much time and energy in your career, work, church, personal interests, and/or children that you have little or none of yourself left to invest in your relationship with your spouse resulting in him/her feeling neglected or unvalued and therefore more vulnerable to others outside of your marital relationship who will be happy to give him/her the needed attention and sense of value that is lacking. 

Whatever the precipitating circumstances, seek to avoid this kind of distance/disconnect between you and your spouse at all cost as it can be very dangerous to a marital relationship. 

Spend time doing things together with your spouse, whether something recreational, a home project, some form of exercise, a lunch or dinner date, a walk on the beach or in a park, watching a movie, sitting and talking, or some other activity that you both enjoy. 

Occasionally do an activity that he/she enjoys even if you do not particularly enjoy it. This will go a long way in showing how much you care. Whatever the case, always make time to do things together and let it be quality time, not just time spent for spending time’s sake. There is a difference.

Spending time together with your spouse, talking together, being physically intimate together, laughing together, working together, playing together, and praying together will all help to strengthen and protect your marriage against adultery / extramarital affairs………..the key word is “together”.

The prevalence of marital infidelity is sad, disturbing, and extremely grievous to the Holy Spirit of God.

Fellow Christians/Believers in Christ/Kingdom Ambassadors/Saints, by the grace of God, let’s do all we can to protect our marriages and keep them away from the snare of adultery / extramarital affairs and encourage others to do the same all to the honor and glory of God.

Visit again for TIP #6

Peace & Blessings!

Kim

Copyright © 2012 by Kim, Author of “Unwalled” Blog, All rights reserved.

Image “Lovers” by Rosen Georgiev courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.Net

10 TIPS TO HELP PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGE AGAINST ADULTERY / EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIRS – (TIP#4)

Kim Sweeting 2 Comments

10 TIPS TO HELP PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGE AGAINST

ADULTERY / EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIRS – (TIP #4)

“TOGETHER FOREVER”

Adultery –“voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband” 

(Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary)

Of late, many Christian women that I either know personally or Christian friends or associates of these women were shattered by the discovery of their husband’s involvement in an extra-marital affair, or multiple affairs.

At some point, a door opened in the marital relationship that led from one thing to the next and now, in some cases after 20-25 years of marriage, the specter of divorce looms menacingly over a covenant relationship that once brought joy and fulfillment to the husband and wife and glory to God.

Many in today’s permissive society consider extramarital sex as acceptable and blameless, however in God’s view, this is not so. His sexual standard for marriage is fidelity, i.e. sexual relations between a man and his wife or a woman and her husband only.

“Thou shalt not commit adultery.”

(Exodus 20:14 – KJV)

“No adultery.”

(Deuteronomy 5:18 – The Message)

 “Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.”

(Hebrews 13:4 – NLT)

“Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.”

(Hebrews 13:4 – The Message)

God’s stand on extramarital sex is clear. He makes absolutely no room for sexual relations with anyone other than your spouse and provides no exceptions to His rule.

In light of this, here is TIP #4 to help protect your marriage against adultery.

TIP #4

 Cultivate and value the intimacy of your marriage.

Intimacy – “Close or warm friendship or understanding; personal relationship”

(www.collinsdictionary.com)

 “It’s common to think that intimacy means two people feeling emotionally close to one another, or sharing private time together, or being sexual with each other. But the truest possible act of intimacy is to invite another person to look into your heart and mind. The act of revealing your truest and deepest feelings — the hopes, doubts, fears, joys, sorrows and all the other rich details of your inner life — is what constitutes the basis of all real intimacy.

What this boils down to is that the best definition of “intimacy” is simply “into-me-see”.”

(www.billherring.info/Atlanta_counseling/useful-definition-of-intimacy)

Intimacy in marriage involves more than having good sex. Intimacy has to do with the sharing of your self / personhood with your spouse. It involves connecting/bonding with him/her mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It involves in-depth sharing.

To build intimacy in your marriage, communication is necessary.

To help foster intimacy and closeness in your marriage, keep the channels of communication open. When speaking or listening to your spouse, be attentive. Seek to understand and be understood. Discuss important issues. Discuss interesting issues. Share humor. Share insights.

Additionally and most importantly, share your truest and deepest thoughts, feelings, likes, dislikes, fears, concerns, cares, challenges, struggles, hopes, goals, dreams, desires, revelations etc. Ask God for wisdom about what, where, when and how to share  sensitive issues that need to be disclosed.

Communicating this way with your spouse may not be comfortable or easy at first, especially if it does not come naturally to you, or if you have had a negative experience with such “soul sharing”, but is it well worth the effort considering the resulting intimacy and strengthening of your marital relationship. Ask God for courage and believe that He will give it to you.

Indulging in this level of personal communication creates emotional bonding and fosters deep meaningful attachments and as such, is best reserved for your spouse only.

Such intimate communication with someone of the opposite sex other than your spouse whether in person or over the telephone or Internet is very damaging and potentially destructive to your marital relationship because not only does it rob your spouse of deep emotional intimacy with you and create distance between you, the resulting connectedness with the other individual often leads to emotional adultery, i.e., unfaithfulness of the heart, and then on to physical adultery. 

(Recommended Reading –  Google the following articles – 1) “Avoiding Emotional Adultery by Dennis Rainey” and 2) “The Truth About Emotional Affairs by Monika Lewis”)

When apart, touch base with your spouse throughout the day. Make a call, send a text, or send an email. This will help keep the connection between you alive and keep your relationship at the forefront of each other’s mind. In the evening, share the events of each other’s day to keep high levels of inclusion in your relationship.

Cultivate and value the intimacy of your marriage.

The prevalence of marital infidelity is sad, disturbing, and extremely grievous to the Holy Spirit of God.

Fellow Christians/Believers in Christ/Kingdom Ambassadors/Saints, by the grace of God, let’s do all we can to protect our marriages and keep them away from the snare of adultery / extramarital affairs and encourage others to do the same all to the honor and glory of God.

Visit again for TIP #5

Peace & Blessings!

Kim

Copyright © 2012 by Kim, Author of “Unwalled” Blog, All rights reserved.

Image “Double Heart Shaped Silver Rope Tied” by nuttakit courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.Net


10 TIPS TO HELP PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGE AGAINST ADULTERY / EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIRS – (TIP #3)

Kim Sweeting

10 TIPS TO HELP PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGE AGAINST

ADULTERY / EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIRS – (TIP #3)

“TOGETHER FOREVER”

Adultery –“voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband” 

(Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary)

Of late, many Christian women that I either know personally or Christian friends or associates of these women were shattered by the discovery of their husband’s involvement in an extra-marital affair, or multiple affairs.

At some point, a door opened in the marital relationship that led from one thing to the next and now, in some cases after 20-25 years of marriage, the specter of divorce looms menacingly over a covenant relationship that once brought joy and fulfillment to the husband and wife and glory to God.

Many in today’s permissive society consider extramarital sex as acceptable and blameless, however in God’s view, this is not so. His sexual standard for marriage is fidelity, i.e. sexual relations between a man and his wife or a woman and her husband only.

“Thou shalt not commit adultery.”

(Exodus 20:14 – KJV)

“No adultery.”

(Deuteronomy 5:18 – The Message)

 “Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.”

(Hebrews 13:4 – NLT)

“Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.”

(Hebrews 13:4 – The Message)

God’s stand on extramarital sex is clear. He makes absolutely no room for sexual relations with anyone other than your spouse and provides no exceptions to His rule.

In light of this, here is TIP #3 to help protect your marriage against adultery.

TIP #3

Keep the sex alive and fulfilling.

Keeping the sexual relationship between you and your spouse alive and fulfilling is a strong deterrent to adultery. The Word of God addresses this issue in I Corinthians 7:1-5.

“Now, getting down to the questions you asked in your letter to me. First, Is it a good thing to have sexual relations? Certainly—but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I’m not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence—only providing my best counsel if you should choose them.” – (The Message Bible)

Generally speaking, the stronger the relationship between you and your spouse as a whole, the better your chances of a satisfying sex life and subsequently, of avoiding adultery.

As such, date your spouse. Keep the romance alive. Compliment and encourage him/her. Show him/her appreciation and support. Keep emotionally connected to your spouse through meaningful, intimate conversation. Spend quality time doing enjoyable things together. Seek to minimize and/or quickly resolve conflicts; agree  to disagree if you have to. Be openly affectionate through hugs, touches and kisses. Tell your spouse “I love you” and mean it.

Make every effort to be healthy and as physically attractive and desirable to your spouse as possible.

Be wary of falling into the rut of familiarity and “letting yourself go” by neglecting to maintain good grooming and hygiene, dressing any old kind of way at home and/or when going out, gaining excessive weight, no longer caring how your conduct or physical appearance affects your spouse’s degree of attractiveness to you, etc.

Show your spouse you desire him/her physically.

Minimize bedroom boredom and routine by being creative, innovative, uninhibited and unashamed in mutually fulfilling ways. Avoid practices that are uncomfortable and/or a violation of you or your spouse’s conscience. Although increasingly popular and pushed by some as a viable solution to marital sexual enhancement, avoid the snare of using pornography or extra-marital fantasies to “improve” your sex life.

In Matthew 5:27, 28, Jesus states, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart”

If you are thinking of or visualizing another woman/man while making love to your spouse, the marriage bed is spiritually defiled with adultery. 

When extra-marital fantasies enter the marriage bed, whether they originate from pornography or lustful thoughts about someone you came in contact with during the course of your day, such mental adultery brings defilement and sin which inevitably births death and not life in your sexual and marital relationship with your spouse.

Practicing the above will help to enhance the overall sexual health of your marriage and help to keep the sex alive and fulfilling, which in turn will help to protect your marriage against adultery.

The prevalence of marital infidelity is sad, disturbing, and extremely grievous to the Holy Spirit of God.

Fellow Christians/Believers in Christ/Kingdom Ambassadors/Saints, by the grace of God, let’s do all we can to protect our marriages and keep them away from the snare of adultery / extramarital affairs and encourage others to do the same all to the honor and glory of God.

Visit again for TIP #4

Peace & Blessings!

Kim

Copyright © 2012 by Kim, Author of “Unwalled” Blog, All rights reserved.

Image “Holding Hands” by xeodos4 courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.Net

10 TIPS TO HELP PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGE AGAINST ADULTERY / EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIRS – (TIP #2)

Kim Sweeting 1 Comment

10 TIPS TO HELP PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGE AGAINST

ADULTERY / EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIRS – (TIP #2)

“TOGETHER FOREVER”

Adultery –“voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband” 

(Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary)

Of late, many Christian women that I either know personally or Christian friends or associates of these women were shattered by the discovery of their husband’s involvement in an extra-marital affair, or multiple affairs.

At some point, a door opened in the marital relationship that led from one thing to the next and now, in some cases after 20-25 years of marriage, the specter of divorce looms menacingly over a covenant relationship that once brought joy and fulfillment to the husband and wife and glory to God.

Many in today’s permissive society consider extramarital sex as acceptable and blameless, however in God’s view, this is not so. His sexual standard for marriage is fidelity, i.e. sexual relations between a man and his wife or a woman and her husband only.

“Thou shalt not commit adultery.”

(Exodus 20:14 – KJV)

“No adultery.”

(Deuteronomy 5:18 – The Message)

 “Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.”

(Hebrews 13:4 – NLT)

“Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.”

(Hebrews 13:4 – The Message)

God’s stand on extramarital sex is clear. He makes absolutely no room for sexual relations with anyone other than your spouse and provides no exceptions to His rule.

In light of this, here is TIP #2 to help protect your marriage against adultery.

TIP #2

Clarify then seek to meet each other’s needs. 

Have a candid discussion with your spouse to find out his/her needs and relay yours also, then agree to in as much as possible meet each other’s needs.

According to Willard F Harley Jr’s book “His Needs, Her Needs”, the top five needs for men are, “sexual fulfillment, recreational companionship, an attractive spouse, domestic support and admiration” and the top five needs of  women are, “affection, conversation, honesty and openness, financial support and family commitment”.

Of course this is not written in stone, but it gives a general idea of the kinds of issues that are important to members of the opposite sex. The key is for each spouse to clarify exactly what his/her needs are, communicate them to each other and then for each to seek to meet the expressed needs.

If your needs are not being met, do not hide it from your spouse and harbor resentment or even worse, seek to have them met elsewhere. Instead, speak up about it in a loving and constructive manner with a view to remediating the problem and patiently trying to work it through.

There will undoubtedly be times in your marriage when in spite of your efforts or your spouses efforts, needs are not met. When this happens, be reminded that this does not alter God’s standard in regard to adultery.

During these seasons, self-denial may be necessary to preserve the sanctity of your marriage and your covenant with God. It is in these times that drawing on your faith in God’s ability to help, keep and sustain you in spite of what you are experiencing will be key.

Remember, God is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all you can ask think or imagine according to the power that works in you (Ephesians 3:20) and you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you (Philippians 4:13). The work is to believe!

The prevalence of marital infidelity is sad, disturbing, and extremely grievous to the Holy Spirit of God.

Fellow Christians/Believers in Christ/Kingdom Ambassadors/Saints, by the grace of God, let’s do all we can to protect our marriages and keep them away from the snare of adultery / extramarital affairs and encourage others to do the same all to the honor and glory of God.

Visit again for TIP #3

Peace & Blessings!

Kim

Copyright © 2012 by Kim, Author of “Unwalled” Blog, All rights reserved.

Image “Silver Wedding Rings” by Boykung courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.Net

10 TIPS TO HELP PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGE AGAINST ADULTERY / EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIRS – (TIP #1)

Kim Sweeting

10 TIPS TO HELP PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGE AGAINST ADULTERY / EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIRS – (TIP # 1)

“TOGETHER FOREVER”

Adultery –“voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband” 

(Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary)

Of late, many Christian women that I either know personally or Christian friends or associates of these women were shattered by the discovery of their husband’s involvement in an extra-marital affair, or multiple affairs.

At some point, a door opened in the marital relationship that led from one thing to the next and now, in some cases after 20-25 years of marriage, the specter of divorce looms menacingly over a covenant relationship that once brought joy and fulfillment to the husband and wife and glory to God.

Many in today’s permissive society consider extramarital sex as acceptable and blameless, however in God’s view, this is not so. His sexual standard for marriage is fidelity, i.e. sexual relations between a man and his wife or a woman and her husband only.

“Thou shalt not commit adultery.”

(Exodus 20:14 – KJV)

“No adultery.”

(Deuteronomy 5:18 – The Message)

 “Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.”

(Hebrews 13:4 – NLT)

“Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.”

(Hebrews 13:4 – The Message)

God’s stand on extramarital sex is clear. He makes absolutely no room for sexual relations with anyone other than your spouse and provides no exceptions to His rule.

In light of this, here is TIP #1 to help protect your marriage against adultery.

TIP #1

Understand that you are in covenant relationship bound by God.

Your marriage is not just about your relationship with your spouse. It is a covenant that you made in the presence of others and God that God sanctioned, bound and sealed when you and your spouse made a commitment to each other before Him.

Placing your love for and commitment to God in the marital relationship in a higher place of priority than your love for and commitment to your spouse is a great defense against adultery because in instances where your love for and commitment to your spouse is not strong enough to help you resist sexual temptation, your love for and commitment to God can give you the added strength you need.

When your spouse fails or annoys you in some way and the enemy tempts you to venture outside your marital relationship for solace or revenge, if in a higher place of authority than your love for and commitment to your spouse, your love for and commitment to God in the marital covenant can serve as a buffer and  empower you to realign your thoughts and behavior with His will, thereby protecting your marriage as opposed to making a choice that will damage it.

As a Believing spouse, it is important for you to recognize and understand your personal responsibility and accountability to God in the marital covenant. So often we hear, “if my wife/husband did/didn’t, would/wouldn’t, had/hadn’t, etc. then I would not have engaged in an affair.” Be keenly aware that this reasoning will never stand with God because His stand on marital fidelity  is absolute and will not change according to our situations, wants, needs or desires.

Be not deceived, no matter the circumstances, in God’s eyes you can never justify a decision to get involved in an extra-marital relationship because of something your spouse did or did not do.

If you choose to engage in an affair, you simultaneously choose to violate the marital covenant that you made before God, to violate His Word and holy standard for marriage, and to therefore sin against Him and He will hold you accountable for that. The incident in Genesis chapter 3 concerning satan, Adam, Eve and the forbidden fruit clearly shows that God does not play the blame game.

The prevalence of marital infidelity is sad, disturbing, and extremely grievous to the Holy Spirit of God.

Fellow Christians/Believers in Christ/Kingdom Ambassadors/Saints, by the grace of God, let’s do all we can to protect our marriages and keep them away from the snare of adultery / extramarital affairs and encourage others to do the same all to the honor and glory of God.

Visit again for TIP #2

Peace & Blessings!

Kim

Copyright © 2012 by Kim, Author of “Unwalled” Blog, All rights reserved.

Image “Ring Love Together Forever” by vichie 81 courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.Net

SOME SEXUAL ADVICE FOR MEN

Kim Sweeting

SOME SEXUAL ADVICE FOR MEN

Temptation

 

Avoid Immoral Women

 “1 My son, pay attention to my wisdom;
      listen carefully to my wise counsel.
2 Then you will show discernment,
      and your lips will express what you’ve learned.
3 For the lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey,
      and her mouth is smoother than oil.
4 But in the end she is as bitter as poison,
      as dangerous as a double-edged sword.

5 Her feet go down to death;
      her steps lead straight to the grave.
6 For she cares nothing about the path to life.
      She staggers down a crooked trail and doesn’t realize it.

 7 So now, my sons, listen to me.
      Never stray from what I am about to say:
8 Stay away from her!
      Don’t go near the door of her house!
9 If you do, you will lose your honor
      and will lose to merciless people all you have achieved.
10 Strangers will consume your wealth,
      and someone else will enjoy the fruit of your labor.
11 In the end you will groan in anguish
      when disease consumes your body.
12 You will say, “How I hated discipline!
      If only I had not ignored all the warnings!
13 Oh, why didn’t I listen to my teachers?
      Why didn’t I pay attention to my instructors?

 14 I have come to the brink of utter ruin,
      and now I must face public disgrace.”

15 Drink water from your own well—
      share your love only with your wife.
16 Why spill the water of your springs in the streets,
      having sex with just anyone?
17 You should reserve it for yourselves.
      Never share it with strangers.

 18 Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you.
      Rejoice in the wife of your youth.
19 She is a loving deer, a graceful doe.
      Let her breasts satisfy you always.
      May you always be captivated by her love.

20 Why be captivated, my son, by an immoral woman,
      or fondle the breasts of a promiscuous woman?

21 For the Lord sees clearly what a man does,
      examining every path he takes.

22 An evil man is held captive by his own sins;
      they are ropes that catch and hold him.
23 He will die for lack of self-control;
      he will be lost because of his great foolishness.”

SELAH!

(Proverbs 5:1-23 NLT)

Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.,Wheaton,Illinois 60189. All rights reserved

Photo courtesy of “Bowl Reflections” by Carlos Porto/www.freedigitalphotos.net

HELP I’M IN THE FIRE!!!!! – ENCOURAGEMENT FOR THOSE IN DIFFICULT TRIALS

Kim Sweeting

HELP I’M IN THE FIRE!!! – ENCOURAGEMENT FOR THOSE IN DIFFICULT TRIALS

Oh God, this trial is too hard.

I can’t take any more.

My marriage is under attack, my daughter is acting crazy, my co-worker is undermining me on the job, I am in debt, now the doctor says to come in because he needs to discuss my test results…….help Jesus!!!!!!!  Help!!!!!

Is this you?

Is this the place that you are at right now?

Is this how you feel today?

Listen God loves you and He trusts you with this test just like He trusted Job with his test.

He has a lot of faith in what He has already put in you and provided for you to make you victorious.

Do you have faith in what He has already put in you and provided for you to make you victorious?

Do you believe that Christ in you is the hope of glory?

Do you believe that greater is He that is in you than He that is in the world?

Do you believe that the same resurrection power that raised Christ from the dead dwells in you?

Do you believe that you can do all things through Christ that strengthens you?

Do you believe that His angels are encamped all around you guarding and protecting you?

Do you believe that no weapon formed against you shall prosper?

Do you believe that this trial has come to make you strong and not to destroy you?

Do you believe that your times are in His hands?

Do you believe His grace is sufficient for you?

Do you believe that He is working all things together for good because you love Him and are the called according to His purposes?

I ask you again, do you have faith in what God has already placed in you and provided for you to make you victorious?

The work is to believe.

No matter how much the enemy bombards your mind with thoughts that are opposite to the above truths, purpose in your heart to fight the good fight of faith and hold fast to the truth of God’s Word.

No matter how your circumstances seem to contradict what God has said, determine to believe the report of the Lord, not your report, the report of others, and definitely not the report of the enemy.

Determine by the grace of God to hold fast to the truth of His Word with tenacity, to lock down on it like a Pit Bull locking its jaws on a victim.

My prayer for you today is not that the Lord would take you out of your fiery trial, but that you would begin to see it through His eyes, that your faith in Him and in His Word will not fail you, and that after being tried and tested, you will come out as pure gold, learning what He desires you to learn, changing how He desires you to change, having what He desires you to have and essentially, and ultimately becoming what He desires you.

Be encouraged!

Kim

ENCOURAGEMENT FOR DESPERATE WIVES

Kim Sweeting

ENCOURAGEMENT FOR DESPERATE WIVES

As a married woman of God, at times you may wonder, “Lord am I the only one going through all this stuff in my marriage?

Are any of my other married sisters in Christ experiencing what I am experiencing?

Conversations with various Christian women experiencing challenges in their marriages inspired me to write the following poem.

Read and be encouraged……….share and encourage someone else.

As priest of the home

Why doesn’t he pray?

When the kids want his company

Why doesn’t he stay?

 

I know we need money

To live and survive,

But if he’s working all the time

Our family can’t thrive.

 

I remember the times

We used to go out on dates,

But now all he does

Is come home tired and late.

 

He hardly gives affection

But is always ready for sex,

That’s not easy at all

It really makes me vexed

 

When I try to talk

I’m seen as a nag,

But if I sit and say nothing

Things will continue to sag.

 

I ask him to help

With things around the house,

He simply refuses

I can’t believe my spouse!

 

When he gets very angry

He screams and shouts,

He curses and hits me

I’m too ashamed to let that out.

 

I still go to church

In spite of my plight,

I sing, clap and praise

And try to do what is right.

 

Oh God I’m so lonely

I feel tied and bound,

My face has a smile

But my spirit is so down

 

Now I’ve met another man   

Who says he’d be my all,

He is so caring and tempting

Lord help! I don’t want to fall.

 

Lord this is so hard

I need a breakthrough,

There’s no where to turn

So I’m clinging to you.

 

My sister, my sister

You’re tired and worn,

You’re bleeding inside

But all hope is not gone.

 

God knows your desires

He knows your heart,

He feels the pain

That’s tearing you apart.

 

He hears your longing

He hears your cry,

He hears your questions

“Lord how long? Lord Why?”

 

Things may seem bleak now

You weep and you mourn,

But after your midnight

There will be dawn.

 

   Copyright © 2011 by Kim, Author of “Unwalled” Blog, All rights reserved.

 

“……weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.”

(Psalms 30:5 – KJV)

 

 “No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it.”  

(1 Corinthians 10:13 – The Message Bible)

 

 “Because the Sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be disgraced.  Therefore, I have set my face like a stone, determined to do his will. And I know that I will not be put to shame.”

(Isaiah 50:7 – New Living Translation)

 

“Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”

(Ephesians 3:20-21 – NKJV)

 

“I wait for the Lord, I expectantly wait, and in His word do I hope.”

(Psalms 130:5 – Amplified Bible)

 

 

BEFORE YOU CHEAT……THINK! (PART 2)

Kim Sweeting

BEFORE YOU CHEAT……..THINK! (PART 2)

 Adultery –“voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband” – (Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary)

 Man of God, Woman of God, before you commit adultery, THINK!

 “For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

(2 Corinthians 10:3-5 – NIV)

When faced with the prospect of an adulterous relationship, the first, best and most powerful line of defense we have is in our minds. Whatever we focus on in our mind becomes magnified in our life; what we behold, we become.

If we take our minds off of what the Word of God says about adultery and focus our thoughts on what we believe would be the pleasurable aspects of an extramarital relationship, then we automatically increase the likelihood that we will commit the sin of adultery.

Conversely, if we set our minds on what the Word of God has to say about adultery and our thoughts on the damaging aspects of an extramarital relationship, then we automatically decrease the likelihood that we will commit the sin of adultery.

So rather than entertaining thoughts that will draw us toward committing this sin, we need to instead focus our thoughts on what will draw us toward God and away from committing it, to focus them on how the Word condemns such a relationship, on the responsibility that we have to God when it comes to our blood bought bodies, and on the certain damage that such a relationship would bring.

Man of God, Woman of God, before you commit adultery, THINK!

Do not entertain thoughts that will feed and strengthen your fleshly nature and thereby increase the likelihood that you will engage in an adulterous relationship.

Do not think about the potential pleasure, the thrill of the newness, the enticing challenge of the sexual conquest, what the person may do sexually that your spouse will not or can not do, the excitement of the secret lunches, dinners, and trips or as Bahamians say, the “ghost moves”, the potential money and material goods you may be given, the adoration and encouragement you may receive that your spouse has not given you, the companionship and conversation you may enjoy that has not been forthcoming from your spouse, etc.

Instead, set your mind on what the Word of God says and on thoughts that will kill your fleshly nature, strengthen your spirit man and increase your propensity to remain faithful to your spouse.

 Man of God, Woman of God, before you commit adultery, THINK!

Think about the spiritual price you will pay.

Think about the damage to your relationship and fellowship with God.

Think about what God says in the Word about committing adultery.

Think about what He says is the fate of those who practice adultery, that they shall not inherit His Kingdom and will be judged by Him.

Think about how you would be breaking a covenant and vow you made before God – do not be deceived, it’s not just about you and your spouse, it never has been and never will be.

Think about how having sex outside your marriage is taking the temple of the Holy Spirit (your body) and defiling it.

Think about how much it will grieve the Holy Spirit, the One who has always been with you and in you to help you in your walk with Christ.

Man of God, Woman of God, before you commit adultery, THINK!

Think about the guilt and shame and the heavy weight of conviction in the depths of your soul.

Think about the negative effect on the Body of Christ, the church.

Think about the reproach it will bring to the name of Jesus Christ which you bear as His child.

Think about the door of lies and deceit that it will open in your life and God desires truth in your innermost parts.

Think about how absolutely nothing is hidden from God so the affair will not be a secret –  He will see you and the individual wherever you are and whatever you may be doing, He can also communicate it to whomever He chooses.

Think about the foothold you will give the enemy ammunition to accuse and torment you over and over and over in your mind.

Think about the enemy laughing at you for his victory in this area of your life.

Man of God, Woman of God, before you commit adultery, THINK!

Think about the cutting pain and damage it will cause your spouse – mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically and socially.

Think about the cutting pain and damage it will cause your children – mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically and socially.

Think about the cutting pain and damage it will cause you – mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically and socially.

Think about the irreversible damage to your marriage and your family – things will never be the same.

Think about how it may lead to divorce – Do you really want to lose your wife/husband, your children? Is that what you really want?

Think about courts, lawyers, alimony, child support, child visitation.

Think about another man or woman raising your children, the children God has entrusted to you.

Man of God, Woman of God, before you commit adultery, THINK!

Think about the fact that God says you are sinning against your own body.

Think about the sexually transmitted diseases you may contract, Chlamydia, Trichomoniasis, Gonorrhea, and Syphilis, Herpes Simplex Virus (HSV-2), Genital Herpes, Human Papillomavirus (HPV), Hepatitis B, and Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV).

Think about passing on this sexually transmitted disease to your spouse.

Think about suffering and dying from the sexually transmitted disease.

Think about your spouse suffering and dying from the sexually transmitted disease.

Think about your children becoming orphans all because of your selfish desire for sexual gratification.

 Man of God, Woman of God, before you commit adultery, THINK!

Think about the potential demonic infiltration into your body – once you have sexual relations, whatever spirits dwell in that person  can now enter you.

Think of the soul ties you will form with that person, that they would become a part of you – sex makes two one.

Think about unplanned pregnancy.

Think about having to tell your wife/husband and children and extended family about it – even worse, think about becoming a murderer through abortion.

Think about the misuse of money that God has entrusted you to be a good steward of – money once used to honorably take care of your family, finance the Kingdom and help others, now being used to finance sin.

Think about the stress, strain and pressure of living a double life, with the ever-present fear of being found out.

Think about how difficult it may be to sever the relationship when you want it to end – there is no guarantee that you can get out of it as easily as you got in?

What if the other person does not want to end the relationship and threatens to expose it if you leave them?

What if they threaten to end your life or the life of your spouse if you leave them? – Far fetched? – Just listen to the news anywhere.

Think about the possibility of dying in that life of sin without having a chance to repent.

Think about losing out on completeing your God-given life purpose or assignnment.

Man of God, Woman of God, before you commit adultery, THINK!

All of this for a 3-8 second orgasm?

All of this for a few hours of companionship?

All of this for material goods that you can not even take with you into eternity?

AN EXTRAMARITAL/ADULTEROUS RELATIONSHIP IS COSTLY!

Are you willing to pay the price spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally, socially, financially?

Man of God, Woman of God, before you commit adultery, THINK!

Shalom!

Kim

BEFORE YOU CHEAT……..THINK! (PART 1)

Kim Sweeting

BEFORE YOU CHEAT……..THINK! (PART 1)

 Adultery –“voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband” – (Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary)

Man of God, Woman of God, before you commit adultery, THINK!

Many in today’s permissive society consider extramarital sex acceptable and blameless, however in the Kingdom of God the sexual standard of marriage is fidelity, i.e. sexual relations between a man and his wife or a woman and her husband only.

 “Thou shalt not commit adultery.”

(Exodus 20:14 – KJV)

“No adultery.”

(Deuteronomy 5:18 – The Message)

 “Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.”

(Hebrews 13:4 – NLT)

“Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.”

(Hebrews 13:4 – The Message)

  Man of God, Woman of God, before you commit adultery, THINK!

God’s standard concerning extramarital sex is clear. He makes absolutely no room for sexual relations with anyone other than your spouse and provides no exceptions to His rule.

So often we hear, “if my wife/husband did/didn’t, would/wouldn’t, had/hadn’t, etc. then I would not have engaged in an affair.” There will undoubtedly be times of strained relations between you and your spouse within your marriage for one reason or another however God’s standards are absolute and do not change according to our situations, needs or desires.

“Then Jesus said to His disciples, If anyone desires to be My disciple, let him deny himself [disregard, lose sight of, and forget himself and his own interests] and take up his cross and follow Me [cleave steadfastly to Me, conform wholly to My example in living and, if need be, in dying, also].”

(Matthew 16:24 – Amplified Bible)

God does not permit, or say it is okay for us to us to engage in extramarital sex if our spouses do not meet some standard or expectation that we have in some area of our marriage. Instead, as in every other challenging situation, He tells us to deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow Jesus Christ (the Word), even if that means no sex.

Man of God, Woman of God, before you commit adultery, THINK!

You may say, oh but the temptation is too great. I can not help myself. Don’t you see all the fine-looking fellows and sexy looking ladies all around? Everywhere I turn some body is calling out to me. How can anyone stand up to that kind of temptation after all, we are only human? Surely God does not expect us to stay faithful to our spouse with all the other tempting delights He created all around us!

 “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.”

(I Corinthians 10:13 – NLT)

“For no temptation (no trial regarded as enticing to sin), [no matter how it comes or where it leads] has overtaken you and laid hold on you that is not common to man [that is, no temptation or trial has come to you that is beyond human resistance and that is not adjusted and adapted and belonging to human experience, and such as man can bear]. But God is faithful [to His Word and to His compassionate nature], and He [can be trusted] not to let you be tempted and tried and assayed beyond your ability and strength of resistance and power to endure, but with the temptation He will [always] also provide the way out (the means of escape to a landing place), that you may be capable and strong and powerful to bear up under it patiently.”

(I Corinthians 10:13 – Amplified Bible)

After reading this scripture, it is clear that as far as God is concerned, temptation is no excuse for infidelity. He said that He will not allow any temptation to be more than we can stand and when tempted, He will always show us a way of escape.

So in light of this verse, we are not really being truthful when we say “I could not help myself” or “it just happened”, it would be more accurate to say “I could have helped myself but I chose not to” or “I saw the way of escape but I chose not to take it” – like one of my former pastors used to say, “It’s tight, but it’s right”.

 Man of God, Woman of God, before you commit adultery, THINK!

                                                                                                                                                                                  ……………to be continued