Am I the photograph you gaze at in moments of weakness?

unlikely_hero @ 2006-04-11T23:36:00

2006-04-12T04:39:25Z

So I am an unlikely_hero no longer. I'm going to record all of my entries from my account, and then I'm am going to delete the account. It will probably take me a while to do this, so I won't just suddenly disasppear, but I did want to throw that out there.

This is part of the change I'm striving to make, within and without.

unlikely_hero @ 2006-04-11T13:33:00

2006-04-11T18:41:13Z

Wow, if you put smoke-smelling clothes in with your laundry, make sure you do the laundry soon, because one day you'll walk into your room and wonder who the hell lit a fire in there.

I had a suprising amount of fun at my uncle's 50th birthday. We had gumbo, boiled shrimp, boiled crawfish (spicy and oh so good), and fried fish. Plus there was some sort of chipolte goat cheese that was to die for.

My cousin and I got along really well and it makes me glad, because when we were younger, we used to fight hardcore. He's living in Austin now, and when I get back home, I'm going to look him up fo sheezy.

I had a disturbing conversation with my next door neighbor/soon-to-be-housemate and I feel like our bathtub, couch, and kitchen will be unduly traumatized. We then proceeded to stay up until two in the morning and watch Family Guy. Love that show so, so, so much. So much.

unlikely_hero @ 2006-04-06T08:50:00

2006-04-06T13:52:04Z

Raise your hand if the following applies:

You break your finger on your own wrist....and you're completely sober.

[Raising hand]

a SWF moment

2006-04-03T03:17:17Z

I am totally experiencing some SWF moments. SWF is short for Single White Female, which, as some of you may know, is a movie about a female (single and white) looking for a roommate. Prerequisite crazy girl answers her ad in the paper and then proceeds to try and take over her life. Well, I didn't put an ad in the paper and the issue isn't my roommate, but I certainly feel like a certain someone is trying to take over my life. I think that I've been pretty good about not exploding in her face, but I definitely think she deserves it. However, I have more class and will refrain from ripping her hair out and slapping her silly. I am a lady, after all.

In a more sane, positive note I have discovered the love of The Libertines and Neutral Milk Hotel. Download that stuff, because I know all of you do!

It could be love

2006-03-30T05:03:02Z

So Jane magazine rocks my socks and speaks to the feminist in me.

46 Great Things About Being in Your 20's (Plus 7 That Really Suck)

1. "You can date people who are younger and older (in their 30's, not the ones who are in need of Geritol) all at the same time and it's not that gross." -Sara, 22

2. "It's still acceptable to make an alley or tire your Porta-John when you just can't hold out until the next bar." -Trina, 26

3. "Nobody gasps when you tell them how much debt you're in, because they're probably in more. The beauty of that is, your college doesn't expect much annual giving out of you." -Alyssa, 22

4. "Frankly, I'm a free agent, so I can do whatever the hell I want (like move to another state on a whim), as long as it doesn't kill me or inspire my friends to sit me down for an intervention." -Karen, 27

5. "'Dude, I was sooo wasted' is a legit excuse for a wide range of inappropriate behavior and faux pas." -Erin, 24

6. "All additional inappropriate behavior can be chalked up to a twentysomething 'phase.'" -Erin's friend Kim, 24

7. "Nonsleazy threesomes: When you're 25, it's joie de vivre. At 35, it's a suburban key party." - Kay, 27

8. "There's no need to 'sleep it off.' All you need to do to be fresh-faced after an all-nighter is scarf a sausage-egg-and-cheese." -Lizzie, 22

9. "I can blow my rent money on shoes and purses, and no one has to know but me." -Janie, 23

10. "You can still say you're going to Cancun for spring break with a straight face (even if you've been out of college for five years)." -Jennifer, 27

11. "Doing sit-ups for a week and seeing the results. Yeah, I'm vain, but so what?" -Pia, 28

12. "Dreaming about 'the future.'" -Nicole, 23

13. "You can still wear the same clothes teens are wearing without looking foolish. Like, the other day I was wearing this jacket that I got from Abercrombie, and my sister-in-law's 15-year-old sister was wearing the same one. 'Cool jacket,' I told her." -Tina, 26

14. "If you're still a slacker, it's still cool, and if you're really successful, people wonder how you did it at such a young age." -Ella, 26

15. "You know exactly which day to scoop up great curbside furniture for your apartment." -Lauren, 22

16. "It's okay to have a one-night stand or a fling once in a while and not be considered a slut- it's normal." -Jasmine, 27

17. "Perky tits." -Christina, 23

18. "You can live with your parents and not be a complete loser for it." -Tina, 21

19. "You can put in a full day of work, dabble on your side project for a few more hours after that, meet a friend for drinks at 1 a.m., stay up till 5, have sex and do it al over again without feeling like you're going to fall over dead. Or look like it." -Mia, 26

20. "You can say 'like' a lot and get away with it... Well, maybe." -Maizey, 23

21. "One word: antidepressants." -Jen, 23

22. "You can make a big long list of all the books you want to read in your lifetime and still think you have a good shot at finishing it." -Alex, 29

23. "All of the 'I can do anything I want with my life' freedom and none of the 'What the hell am I doing with my life?' guilt." -Penelope, 23

24. "You're not too proud or entitled to babysit, fetch coffee, or wait tables to make the extra money you need to make your own g-ddamned dreams come true." -Riley, 22

25. "Finall having an orgasm (HA)." -Lizzie, 26

26. "Getting laid off or fired is a good thing, because it gives you an excuse to stop commuting and linger at coffee shops, soaking up free wi-fi and reading blogs." -Mel, 24

27. "Wearing Converse and cute jeans to take my kids to school, as opposed to 'mom' pants that have pleats where there shouldn't be." -Kelly, 25

28. "When you experience normal aches and pains, you don't get paranoid like an old grandma and think, 'Oh my g-d, I'm having a stroke." -Mackenzie, 29

29. "It's at least semiaccetpable to (a) still have a roommate and (b) outfit your house in frat-boy chic, with nonmatching furniture. Which of course means we can still have keggers, and our neighbors almost expect it- although these days we no longer charge $5 a cup." -Marie, 28

30. "Traveling with friends and being able to afford more than a hostel- five friends and I just rented a villa in Tuscany. It was the best time I've ever had." -Brianna, 27

31. "You have 'Fuck Me' boots." -Gabby, 27

32. "You can enjoy all of the cutesy jewelry, headbands, and barrettes from mall stores like Claire's." -Olivia, 28

33. "Partying with your friends, picking up dudes, dumping them, and making fun of them with your pals while eating pie." -Patty, 30

34. "Metabolism. I ate 3 a.m. tuna melts three times a week. I never looked better." -Rachel, 30

35. "You aren't so jaded yet that you think you can't change the world- and you actively try to." -Sydney, 26

36. "Trying different careers: I had seven different jobs in my 20's. I only got started on my 'real' path when I was 26." -Victoria, 28

37. "You can pull off sparkly eyeliner and chipped nails. You're edgy instead of neglected and/or mentally ill." -Zoe, 19

38. "Eligibility for Eurail passes, discounted D.C./NYC/Boston shuttle tickets and STA airfare." -Emily, 20

39. "Have you ever tried girls?" -Eve, 22

40. "You still have friends who are in college, so you can live vicariously through them- without doing your homework." -Jessica, 24

41. "You can afford to take your parents to dinner, even if it is at Wendy's." -Katie, 25

42. "My parents still think of me as a kid. While that has itse downsides, I don't see them slipping my older brother or sister $10 for train fare." -Anne, 26

43. "You never have to feel guilty aobut ordering in, eating on your couch and flipping through US Weekly while the O.C. is on the tube." -Jill, 28

44. "Having a glass wine at night is soothing. You don't drink it just to get drunk." -Sheri, 26

45. "You get to go out and try on that cute boy in the bar, and if he's not your size, you move on to the next one." -Shea, 23

46. "Secretly feeling smug that you're not 30. Yet." -Michelle, 26

Oh, and the 7 Things that suck

1. "Starting your career at an entry-level position, were you're micromanaged by someone two years older than you." -Leslie, 23

2. "Adult acne, hooray." -Beth, 25

3. "Flightly girls whose first priority is mooning over boys instead of hanging out with friends. That sucks ass, if you ask me." -Kate, 22

4. "Renting." -Jandi, 25

5. "Being judged by closed-minded idiots who believe their way is the only way that's right. (Conservatives, this goes out to you!)" -Melissa, 23

6. "Dating minimum-wage dudes (Mickey D's on every date) or the losers of the world who need you to pay for everything." -Kira, 28

7. "The best: my sex drive is ridiculous. The worst: my sex drive is ridiculous." -Missy, 25
</div>

unlikely_hero @ 2006-03-29T17:56:00

2006-03-29T23:57:00Z

The world will change you.

I think it's only fair that you change it right back.

unlikely_hero @ 2006-03-29T12:58:00

2006-03-29T19:03:58Z

It's sunken so deep into your very being that denying it is like denying yourself air. You can function for a little while without it, it's easy, but suddenly, the panic grows and you can't focus. You can't do what you could before. What you're doing doesn't matter, because damn it, you can't breathe. Everything is insignificant without that breath.

So you ask yourself, "What are you willing to give up?"

Let's pretend that you have to barter for air. It doesn't come naturally. You have a box that is full of your life, and it can only fit so much. What are you willing toss out in order to make room for that air?

It's the words you write.
It's the songs you sing.
It's whatever you create.

Without air, there are black spots and hallucinations. You live underwater, where things float right by and your limbs are too lethargic to reach out and grasp them. Without air, you are simply drifting with the current, instead of steering yourself in a direction.

unlikely_hero @ 2006-03-27T00:47:00

2006-03-27T06:48:13Z

Are you a turtle?

unlikely_hero @ 2006-03-09T11:07:00

2006-03-09T17:15:06Z

Living in Nacogdoches is hard. That's really what it is. I have friends that I dearly love, and I feel privileged to have met them, but at the same time, fuck this city. East Texas is full of bigots and narrow-minded assholes. I miss being in Austin, where the very air fed me inspiration. I liked living there because I never felt like an outsider. All I had to do was walk down the street, and I would undoubtedly find at least one person that felt the same way I did. I miss that.

That being said, in my insomnia last night, I came across an interesting lj community. I typically wouldn't put this in my lj, because it makes me feel silly, but I am going to pimp it out right here and now. Take it or leave it folks, and for G-d's sake, don't get too drunk during Spring Break.

Check it out, if you want. community.livejournal.com/bohemia_lives/

unlikely_hero @ 2006-03-06T20:15:00

2006-03-07T02:15:29Z

I wanna be a super hero and save love one hug at a time!

unlikely_hero @ 2006-03-06T01:56:00

2006-03-06T07:59:21Z

Please explain to me how my Rent dvd and my 40 Year Old Virgin dvd have both walked off. One, I could believe I misplaced, but two of my favorite movies? I think not.

My throat hurts.

I want to be el presidente, and I probably will be.

Boys are fucking dumb.

So is my roommate, but I still love her, even if she smells like parmesan cheese. Loser!

sleep deprivation causes odd conversations

2006-03-01T21:34:26Z

So last night, while Jennifer and I were attempting to stay awake long enough to watch the season premier of Real Word Key West, we saw a commercial for early pregnancy detection and decided that the utersus should yell out, "Whammy!" when a woman conceives a child. It was also decided that sine a uterus could talk, a child should be born saying, "Gotchya bitch!" Weird? Yes, but that's the Senator for ya.

While watching the aforementioned MTV, a commercial came on for an alternative Spring Break, where instead of getting drunk on a beach and not remembering how you got into that weird guy's bed, that you should spend your time doing something a little more constructive. I wholeheartedly agree. I checked out this website, but unfortunately, there were too many volunteers during that time frame. However, who's to say that you can't do this all the time? During the summer, I plan on spending at least a day every week helping out around Austin. If anyone is going to be Austin March 11th-20th, call me and we'll go volunteer at the Austin Food Bank or something. Not a whole lot of time, just enough to help out where we can. I like to think of it this way: if that were me or my family in that position, I would be eternally thankful for any and all effort given.

Also, if anyone has access to downloading, please download "Hate Me" by Blue October. It is an awesome song.

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me? it is I that wanted space

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

I’m sober now for 3 whole months it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again
And in a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I’ll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes bright and I held your face in my hand
And then fell down yelling “make it go away!”
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered “how can you do this to me?”

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

</div>

Well shit, i'm gonna thief it too

2006-03-01T06:59:14Z

7 Things to do before I die
1. see all 6 continents...fuck you Antartica
2. skydive
3. go to grad school
4. learn to sail
5. learn how to knit
6. own my own business
7. graduate (as if, i'm a student for life baby!)

7 Things I cannot do or do not want to do
1. eat bugs (do not want to do)
2. be complacent (do not want to do)
3. have a spider crawl on my face and bite my eyes (do not want to do)
4. do what i'm told without agreeing (cannot do)
5. forget that it's not just me here (do not want to do)
6. sing well (cannot do)
7. give up (do not want to do)

7 Things that attract me to the opposite sex
1. sense of humor
2. intelligence to back it up
3. compassion
4. ambition
5. confidence
6. respect (HUGE thing)
7. independence

7 Sayings you say the most
1. eh
2. what?!
3. sweet
4. fuck
5. indeed
6. nobody loves me (in reference to no one ever calling my phone)
7. yeah right

7 books/authors/series I love
1. The Lovely Bones
2. The Secret Life of Bees
3. I Know This Much is True
4. Bless Me, Ultima
5. I really did like Angels and Demons and The Da Vinci Code
6. A Mathematician Reads the Newspaper
7. Loose Woman

7 movies that I could watch over and over
1. Ever After
2. Super Troopers
3. Rent
4. Dazed and Confused
5. Grease
6. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
7. Pulp Fiction

7 Favorite Songs/Artists
1. The Decemberists
2. Brand New (never gets old)
3. Patty Griffin
4. Amanda Leggett
5. Indigo Girls- "Mystery"
6. Slaid Cleaves
7. Panic! at the Disco

Fun time!

2006-02-28T05:01:33Z

So kiddies, instead of writing a paper on contemporary British politics, I shall supply you with fifty random, fun-filled facts. Joygasm!

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
In New York City, approximately 1,600 people are bitten by other humans every year. (WTF?)
In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day. (I'm moving to Oblong, it sounds hip there.)
At birth, a panda bear is smaller than a mouse.
Elvis Presley got a 'C' in his eighth grade music class.
Only 1% of bacteria cause disease in humans!
The Earth gets 100 tons heavier every day due to falling space dust.
Contrary to popular belief, there are almost no Buddhists in India, nor have there been for about a thousand years.
2 out of 3 adults in the United States have hemorrhoids. (Ew, that's one of your parents!!!)
One in five of the world's people live in China. (I'm telling you, they're breeding an army over there.)
It takes twelve ears of corn to make a tablespoon of corn oil.
One gallon of used motor oil can ruin approximately one million gallons of fresh water.
More than 400,000 U.S. houses still lack indoor plumbing. (They're all in Arkansas or West Virginia, I swear!)
In Kentucky, 50% of the people who get married for the first time are teenagers.
The banana tree cannot reproduce itself. It can be propagated only by the hand of man. (Take that evolutionists!)
There are approximately 3,500 astronomers in the U.S. - but over 15,000 astrologers.
The average child will eat 1,500 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches by the he/she graduates from high school.
Kermit the frog delivered the commencement address at Southampton College located in the state of New York in 1996. (No shit?)
New York's Central Park is nearly twice the size of the entire country of Monaco.
All clams start out as males; some decide to become females at some point in their lives. (I always knew clams were gay drag queens)
'Jedi' is an official religion, with over 70,000 followers, in Australia. (No wonder we put them on a seperate island.)
You inhale about 700,000 of your own skin flakes each day.
The chances of you dying on the way to get your lottery tickets is greater than your chances of winning.
Some toothpastes and deodorants contain the same chemicals found in antifreeze. (I guess that redefintes 'motor-mouth')
Coffee drinkers have sex more frequently than non-coffee drinkers. (Double latte with a shot of espresso, please!)
To sell your home faster, and for more money, paint it yellow.
J. Edgar Hoover liked to fire FBI agents whose palms were sweaty when shaking hands. (I want that sort of power someday.)
In 1980, a Las Vegas hospital suspended workers for betting on when patients would die! (No comment)
The height of a bowling pin is equal to its circumference.
It takes up to four hours to hard boil an ostrich egg.
The 'L.L.' in L.L. Bean stands for 'Leon Leonwood'. (The 'L.L.' in You are a L.L. stands for 'large loser.')
In England, in the 1880's, 'Pants' was considered a dirty word.
Just one in three consumers pays off his or her credit card bill every month. (Guilty)
Approximately 70 percent of the earth is covered by water. Only 1 percent of this water is drinkable.
Some breeds of chickens lay colored eggs! (So the easter bunny is ass-backwards?!?!)
Betsy Ross was born with a fully formed set of teeth. (Fuck breast feeding, if she had been mine she would have starved)
For every gallon of sea water, you get more than a quarter pound of salt.
Females learn to talk earlier, use sentences earlier, and learn to read more quickly than males.
It takes Several hundred thousand years for newly made photons (light) to travel from the core of the sun to it's surface.
Iguanas have two penises! (Heeellloooo, ladies)
Pancakes are commonly served for breakfast, lunch, and dinner in Australia. (Again, the seperate island thing)
Eskimos do not have a common written language. (They're too busy kissing to write, duh)
The right lung takes in more air than the left.
In 1999, Pepsi, Inc. paid $0.00 in income tax!
Coconuts kill more people in the world than sharks do. Approximately 150 people are killed each year by coconuts. (What a crappy way to leave the game. Sharks would be cooler.)
Mark Twain didn't even make it through elementary school.
By partially filling saucers with vinegar and distributing the saucers around a room, you can eliminate odors.
Your body is creating and killing 15 million red blood cells per second.
The sloth (a mammal) moves so slowly that green algae can grow undisturbed on its fur.
U.S. President Calvin Coolidge liked to eat breakfast while having his head rubbed with vaseline. (Me too!)

Dear Pine Log:

2006-02-27T21:07:07Z

This is my letter to the Pine Log. I dare them to put it in the paper. My dad read it and is concerned that I'll get more than I bargain for. His words were, "Careful when arguing with bigots, they're always right." Yes, and they are always going to be right unless someone takes the opportunity to stand up and tell them otherwise. I have little or no tolerance for sheer ignorance.

It's posted here as is on my computer, so if you notice any spelling or grammar errors, please let me know. I think that scathing letters lose their effectiveness when people think you're a third-grader.

I must say that it is quite a relief to know that I don't have to step very far out of my room to be bombarded with ignorance. In the last several weeks, I've seen quite a few instances of either bad editing, stupidity, or any combination thereof. Since the list could go on and on forever, I'll address a recent article.

Mr. Elbert, your ignorance is quite shocking. You have a lot of audacity to summarily dismiss any mental or emotional problems that those "dramatic punks" have. Who are you to tell someone that what they're feeling is invalid? I don't think anyone would disagree that as Americans, we are indeed better off than many people in the world. While it is tragic, let's not get off the topic. It is not your place to decide whose problems are inferior. Despite what you stated in your stellar column, some of the problems that "pathetic" emo kids have are real problems for them. If you were blessed with a golden childhood where your greatest problem was your pet goldfish dying, then I'm happy for you. However, since you don't really know anyone else's history or experiences, please refrain from dismissing their problems as insignificant and petty. It's easy to cast stones when you're on the outside looking in, but instead of passing judgment, perhaps you should take the time to reflect and ask yourself why. Is there no room for compassion or tolerance in your narrow-minded view of such things?

Overall, I'm very disappointed in the direction the Pine Log seems to be headed. While as Americans we get to enjoy freedom of speech and press, I don't think that equates to the right to be ignorant and short-sighted. This is an institution of higher learning, and as such, perhaps there should be a little more tolerance and less simple-minded bigotry. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but along with the responsibility of writing for a newspaper, there is also a degree of responsibility to be fair and objective. I haven't seen very much objectivism the last few weeks; I've seen people using a medium inappropriately to foist their opinions upon others.
</div>

Freedom of press doesn't equal the freedom to write slanderous, offensive crap.

2006-02-27T19:58:58Z

SFA has a fairly benign newspaper, that writes about the insignificant going ons of the campus and surrounding area. For the most part, it just talks about the same shit day in and day out. However, there is one part of the newspaper that occasionally sparks an interest. It's the editorial page, where columnist are allowed to write their opinions. Speaking of opinions, it is mine that on a college level, while not necessarily being censored, some things need to be edited. This school has quite a mixed group of ethnicities, and it is paramount to respect them, even if you don't understand them. I would like to think that at an institution of higher learning, people were capable of moving beyond ignorance. I've been proven wrong quite a few times in the last couple of weeks.

Trendy 'emo' kids fake depression-- most have no serious problems
By Justin Elbert

I was on the internet yesterday looking at my brother's Xanga site and discovered a somewhat new trend that is sweeping today's youth. I'm talking about those kids who act all depressed and look like they just fell into a tub of black paint. Today our culture likes to call them "emotional," or "Emo," but I just like to call them "pathetic." All they do is walk around hating themselves and everyone else.

Some of them actually try and hurt themselves to deal with their situation. They scratch their arms with razors, hit themselves or just starve their bodies. Now, I'm not talking about people who have verifiable medically diagnosed illness, just those who do it for attention.

They justify their actions with the worst reasons. Some say, "If I control my pain, it's not as bad;" others, "I hate myself;" still others blame it on their "problems." Most of them finish with, "Oh, I'm such a screw up," because of what they do. Okay, so if you know you're being an idiot, stop it. If you hate yourself, change what you hate about yourself, so that you're happy with who you are. Cutting yourself and wearing black isn't going to solve any of your problems. Instead of trying to kill yourself because of all your terrible problems, why don't you do something about them?

The funny thing is that these kids think they actually have real problems. Well I have news for you little emo kids, try living in another country where they don't have clean water or houses with electricity. Seriously, what is your worst complaint? "My mom won't let me go to that concert. Oh, I hate her so much. I'm so mad I could...I could cut myself!" Oh yes, huge problems, right?

And it isn't even as any of them are actually depressed. It's like a fad. Hello, mental problems are not a good thing. You don't want to be depressed, it's not fun. You just want attention, you dramatic punks. If you want attention and want to act like a psycho, don't act depressed. No one will notice you. At least have some personality, really. Scream randomly, stab people and speak in tongues. Do anything but cut yourself. It's a stupid thing to do. Does it solve anything? No. Does it make you more likeable? No. Does it make you happier? No. Does it make you smarter? No. Is it healthy? No. Is it fun? No. About the only thing you do get from being emo and cutting yourself is scars.

So shut up, little emo kids, and stop walking around "mean-mugging" people. If you're acting like a psycho and wondering why nobody likes you, it's becaues you're depressing. Do something productive with your time. Nobody really is going to care about your life, so why don't you start caring about your own and make it better?

What's my point with this whole column? Until you walk five miles a day to get filthy water for your family because that's all there is, until you live off rice and bread and the occasional food rations that are delivered by helicopter courtesy of the UN, until everybody you know has AIDS, and everybody they know has AIDS, shut up and enjoy being able to eat a huge variety of foods, work hard, make money and enjoy what 90 percent of the world doesn't have.

unlikely_hero @ 2006-02-27T02:38:00

2006-02-27T08:39:13Z

Alissa and I are in the middle of a rhyme off. May the biggest loser win.

unlikely_hero @ 2006-02-24T03:54:00

2006-02-24T09:55:21Z

My roommate just ran down the hall in her underwear because she was too drunk to find her shorts before she went to the bathroom. Oh, and she didn't have any shoes on. Ew. But funny.

Allow me to clarify

2006-02-24T02:25:31Z

I'm sorry if I was being too ambiguous, so allow me to clarify.

Mark, you're being a complete asshole. I'm sorry that I didn't call you back, but I didn't really know what to say to you, or how to say it, and until I did know, I couldn't talk to you. When I did finally call you, I apologized and it was my understanding that you understood my reasons, even if they hurt. You said that it was 'okay' and that was that. So when I came to Austin, you said you would call and we would go to the museum, something that we had been wanting to do. Did you call? No, you didn't. So when I finally call you on Sunday, you say that you're at church and you would call me back when you got done. Did you call me back? No, you didn't. I call you again Monday afternoon, just to talk to you. I'm not really mad at this point because I figured you just got caught up in something. So while I talk to you for all of about five minutes, you're completely distracted and uncommunicative. You said that you were driving and the roads were bad. Was it okay if you called back when you got home? I laughed and jokingly asked if you really would call back this time. You asked in confusion when you had said you would call back. Uhm. the night before when I talked to you. We had talked the night before? Yeah, we had but apparently you either didn't remember or chose to play dumb. Did you call back? No, you fucking didn't.

Now, there are a number of reasons that I'm angry with you, and they all relate to each other. Let's break them down, shall we.

If you say you forgive someone, then you need to continue that, and forget about it. Saying you forgive someone and then bringing it up constantly or doing it right back to them isn't forgiveness. It's immature. It's lip service. We're not in high school anymore.
The fact that you don't remember whole conversations we have really bugs me. If you would stop with the fucking drugs for like 10 minutes, then maybe things would make more sense to you. You might find things in your life changing, and probably for the better.
I feel like I've told you things that I'm incapable of telling other people and you've practically thrown that away. I don't really feel like trusting you anymore.

I refuse to continue calling you like some rabid stalker. It's not who I am, and I refuse to compromise that. After a lot of thinking, I don't think that you're a healthy person to be around. You have this thing about you, that I could see taking you a long way in life, but you have such indredibly self-destructive tendencies that I can't sit by and be drug into it.

Have fun in Florida. Sow those wild oats and try not to fuck up your life too much. Call me if you ever reach a place where living cleanly is more important than living in a continous haze where you're really just watching from the outside. I may sound angry, so don't be confused. I am angry, but I still care. However, for all my caring, I can in no way save you, or support such behavior. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

I hope you read this and I hope it hurts like hell. Feel something besides numbness for a change. Best of luck.

unlikely_hero @ 2006-02-22T13:05:00

2006-02-22T19:22:33Z

Check out the new layout!! I didn't modify the code completely (because it takes forever) so there are communities on the sidebar that I really have no clue what they are. I'm ~~dumb and~~ lazy like that.

So I definitely slipped and fell, not once, but twice on the way to take a test that I didn't really know anything about. When I say I didn't know "anything" about it, I literally mean I didn't know what was on the test. I didn't even know if we need a scantron or something, so I went to the UC this morning and bought one each kind, thinking I'd be golden. Figures that I get there and all we needed was regular paper, the one thing I didn't have. If that isn't irony, I don't know what is.

I think I suffer from insomnia. I have seen at least 3 a.m. for the last two weeks or so. It makes my head hurt and I feel like I'm stuck in slow motion sometimes. It's a weird feeling.

Oh, and boys that say they are going to call and do not (TWICE!!) are not worth me calling back again. I refuse to become a swim fan and call you all the time. If you're mad at me, say it, but don't not call back. You're behaving like a high schooler, asshole.

I played a Phase 10 last night for three hours, and I was stuck in phase 3 for eight hands. I refused to allow people to quit until I moved onto phase 4. Even though I was the undisputed loser of last night (695 points!!), I still had fun. All I have to say is that they had better watch out because I'm going to have a comeback and slay all of them horrendously with my awesome gaming skills. That's right, watch your back because T-Max is on the prowl.

The roommate and I get along surprisingly well now, which makes me happy, because I'd hate to have to smother her in her sleep. Disposing of bodies is so tedious, anyways. I really hope someone random reads this and thinks I'm a crazy person......because they'd be right..

Oh, and this is an actual conversation we had last night. Please feel free to laugh at her, because I know I did.
A: Let's make hot chocolate.
T: Okay. [I proceed to give her the hot water pot (thanks mom!)]
A: How does it work?
T: You plug it in and turn it on.
A: Do I have to put water in it?
**Pause**
T: Only if you want hot water for hot chocolate.

Buying Rent was the worst mistake of my life. "TORI, SAY WHAT?!?!? Liek, OMG, that's so not cool!!" The only reason I say this is because the fucker made me lose sleep, and I'll never forgive it. _{Okay, I'll forgive it, but only because I can repeatedly watch La Vie Boheme!!}

unlikely_hero @ 2006-02-19T17:02:00

2006-02-19T23:06:44Z

It is impossible to love someone if you can't love yourself and it is impossible to love someone who only loves themselves.

I passed up a week long party with my friends during Spring Break to go fishing with my dad, and I'm not as sad as I thought I would be. My fortune cookie the other night said, "You will step on the soil of many countries." This makes me happy, because I've realized that's where one of my passions lie.

Kim and I have committed to working out and eating right to reach our goal weight. Mine is 125 and I don't care if takes me 5 years to get there, I'm sure as hell going to try. We've set goals along the way, involving completely new wardrobes, s full exposure suit (for SCUBA, but Mom promised to buy it for me if I got there), a tattoo, and rubbing it in exes's faces, as well as a little boasting at the family Christmas party. It's only up from here folks.

unlikely_hero @ 2006-02-15T17:13:00

2006-02-15T23:14:12Z

I finally remembered the name of the only book I read in high school and loved. Bless Me Ultima. Writing here so I remember.

Don't know if it's romantic or if it makes me want to gag

2006-02-15T09:25:51Z

"Do you ever wonder what would have happened if we never met?"

"We would have continued to be miserable on our own."

"You weren't miserable before you met me."

"Yes, I was. I just didn't realize it."

unlikely_hero @ 2006-02-14T15:22:00

2006-02-14T21:23:26Z

So I'm not going to put the obglitaory "I hate being single" post up this year. Instead, I'm going to tell all my friends that I love them, and it shouldn't take some specified day to say that.

Throw stones if you want

2006-02-04T23:25:21Z

Since it's one of my rights (you remember, those things that we're born into as American citizens) to say whatever the fuck I want, I'm going to say whatever the fuck I want.

This is an article from the LA Times, and is seen on Percival Press's website.

A Capitol offense
Just before Bush spoke of freedom Tuesday night, she was jailed over a T-shirt that took a stand.

By Cindy Sheehan, CINDY SHEEHAN is a co-founder of Gold Star Families for Peace and a member of Military Families Speak Out.

I WAS ARRESTED in the U.S. Capitol just minutes before the State of the Union address for wearing a T-shirt that pointed out how many Americans, like my son, Casey, have been killed in Iraq. The T-shirt simply said: "2,245 Dead. How Many More?"

During the address, President Bush uttered the word "freedom" 17 times, saying that was what our troops were fighting in Iraq to defend. At a minimum, you'd think we would all have the freedom to express ourselves through slogans on a T-shirt.

Is this what my son died for? Is this theft of our precious freedom of speech the "noble cause" that Bush told us our soldiers are fighting for?

Sure, I'm outspoken and don't normally shy away from protesting. But that wasn't my plan. Just hours before the speech, I had been given a ticket by Rep. Lynn Woolsey of Petaluma, who has worked to press Congress to bring the troops home.

At first I didn't really want to go, and I gave the ticket away to someone who gave it back. I would not have been disruptive out of respect for Lynn and the many other members of Congress I deeply admire.

I intended to make a statement, not a scene. Had I wanted to create a disruption, I would have waited until the president arrived to reveal my shirt.

My ticket was in the fifth gallery, front row. An officer — who a few minutes later would arrest me — helped me to my seat. I had just sat down and was warm from climbing three flights of stairs, so I unzipped my jacket. I turned to the right to take my left arm out when the officer saw my shirt and yelled "protester!" He then hauled me out of my seat and shoved me up the stairs.

The officer ran, pulling me with him, to an elevator, yelling at everyone to move out of the way. Then he handcuffed me as we rode down and then took me outside to await a squad car.

DESPITE WHAT was said in several reports, I was never asked to change the shirt or zip up my jacket. If I had been asked to do those things I would have and expressed concerns about the suppression of my freedom of speech later.

I was immediately and roughly (I have the bruises and muscle spasms to prove it) hauled off and arrested for "unlawful conduct." The reports about my being "vocal," attributed to the police, are also untrue.

Lawyers have advised me that I was well within my constitutional rights to wear a T-shirt emblazoned with a slogan. The police belatedly agreed and said they would drop the charges. I don't understand how they could have held me in jail for four hours before saying that this was all a mistake.

After my personal items were inventoried and my fingerprints taken, a nice sergeant came in and looked at my shirt and said, "2,245, huh? I just got back from there." I told him that my son died there.

That's when the enormity of my loss hit me. On top of losing my son, I have lost my 1st Amendment rights.

Where did my America go? I started crying in pain.

What did Casey die for? What did the 2,244 other brave young Americans die for? What are tens of thousands of them over there in harm's way for? For this? I can't even wear a shirt that has the number of troops on it that Bush and his arrogant and ignorant policies are responsible for killing.

Polls indicate that the people in our country and Iraq want this war to end. The war is making this country and the world less safe and secure. It's time to stop the killing by bringing the troops home.

I wore the shirt to make a statement. I believed it was my right to do so.

I don't want to live in a country that prohibits any person from wearing, saying, writing or relaying over a telephone negative statements about the government. That's why I am taking my freedoms and liberties back. That's why I am not going to let the Bush administration take anything else away from me. They already took my son away. That was more than enough.