The Funeral Parlor

37: Yule have to help me here

2010-12-21T03:28:33Z

Hmmm...without an ~apprentice~ to help me out, it will be very ~difficult~ to deliver gifts like I did ~last~ year. Does anyone have any good ~ideas~ about some ~other~ way to celebrate this ~Yuletide~ season?

36: Coffins on the ceiling make great decorations

2010-11-23T00:57:06Z

~Someone~ seems to have flipped the tunnels ~upside down~. I am just ~glad~ I had a ~spare~ coffin on the wall so I'll have ~somewhere~ to sleep tonight...although it's a bit of a ~climb~ to get to. I wonder if I'll be able to fall ~asleep~ upside down like a ~bat~.

35: Pimp Suit? [video]

2010-08-27T02:34:04Z

[Undertaker is seen wearing a green and purple suit covers in question marks. He has a green mask over his eyes (at least, what can be seen from under his bangs. He holds explosives in his hands.]

~Riddle~ me this,
~riddle~ me that,
has anyone seen
my ~black~ top hat?

If no one can ~solve~ this, I may have to ~detonate~ this bomb. No hard feelings.

34: Boobs! [video]

2010-06-14T19:52:54Z

[Webcam flips on, and the sound of creepy, feminine laughter and the sight of a set of rather large, pale breasts enclosed in black clothing greets the unfortunate watcher. The laughing woman sits back, revealing a female Undertaker, who has stripped out of her large coat and seems to be having the most amusing time in the world laughing and jiggling. She might be wearing a touch of lipstick.

~Tee hee hee~. This is ~wonderful~. I want to see ~everyone~!

[Looking down as though a thought has just occurred to her. She whips out a scalpel from her sleeve and looks down at her new assets deviously. ]

Hmmm, I ~usually~ don't get a chance to ~examine~ while they are still alive...

[The Undertaker looks torn about whether he desires more to see each and every gender-swapped person on campus or use this moment of science to cut himself open for a look-see. Finally, he sighs and switches off the camera. Guess he's staying in for now.]

[[ooc: I can't draw, but here is an attempt at a reference for Undertaker-chan: zomgboobs

33: Ruckus

2010-06-06T02:38:28Z

I curl up to take a nice ~nap~ in my coffin, and when I ~wake~ up, ~half~ of campus has been ~destroyed~ ~~again~~. What happened? I don't suppose anyone was ~killed~. ~~That would be too ~fortunate~.~~

[[ooc: Somebody is cranky after being woken up from a week-long nap and finding out he missed out on the ~~carnage~~ ~~destruction~~ excitement.]]

32: Ticket

2010-04-26T01:15:03Z

There is ~one~ of me, and ~two~ tickets...
I assume I can't go ~twice~, so...would someone like to go on the ~boat~? It will ~only~ cost one good ~joke~.

31: Clean Up

2010-04-14T03:39:01Z

The ~food~ outside is starting to ~stink~. It is not what I am ~accustomed~ to, but I am going to ~bury~ what I can of it before we have a ~bigger~ fly problem than we already ~do~. If anyone would like to ~assist~ me (ahem, ~apprentice~), I have an extra ~shovel~ or two.

30: DX

2010-04-02T13:55:57Z

I have only been back ~one~ day and I wish to go ~home~ again. Everything is ~different~, my things are ~missing~, and everyone is in a ~terrible~ mood. Why can't I stay in ~London~ where people ~~keep ~dying~ in new and ~interesting~ ways~~ appreciate a ~hardworking~ undertaker?

29: Past Self? [voice]

2010-01-20T04:29:08Z

[Undertaker is probably going to spend some time recovering from the past!Hakkai attack. In the meanwhile, a slightly-past version of himself is running around, acting almost exactly like the Undertaker we all know and ~~avoid in the hallways~~ love. The difference is, he is not wounded, he doesn't know anyone on campus, and he arrived in the middle of the Jack the Ripper investigation, which means he is probably currently covered in blood and minced prostitute, and is rather eager to get back home to finish piecing them back together and to find/bury the culprit. If anyone wants to meet him, let me know.]

[Present Undertaker, sounding slightly groggy] I ~know~ something is going on ~upstairs~, but can you ~please~ keep it ~down~ up there? ~Some~ of us are ~trying~ to rest. [mumbling] ~much~ quieter at home. At least the ~dead~ don't make a ~racket~ at all hours.

28: A Christmas Miracle [video]

2010-01-12T21:15:21Z

[ooc: after the YnM stabbing event...some NPCs are dead, and it's up to Undertaker to clean them up.]

[Undertaker flips on the video feed. He has blood spattered across his face and hands (and probably on his clothes, though the dark color hides it well] My work has ~finally~ caught up to me. You'll have to ~excuse~ me for the next few days, ~dear~ students. Someone left me ~quite~ a mess to reassemble, and my ~guests~ always come first.

Consequently, if ~either~ one of my ~apprentices~ or anyone in ~Anatomy~ class want some ~first hand~ experience with a human body, swing by the Biology lab. Everyone ~else~ might want to avoid it for a few days. I am ~told~ the smell of ~blood~ and formaldehyde can be quite ~overwhelming~ for those unaccustomed to it.

27: The Gravity of the Situation

2010-01-11T22:29:12Z

i feeel strangse tyoepinf is veryhaerd awt thw miment
ithinwk i will sstaty insude iuntuil i feel noermal agaeiun

[[ooc: Backdated to shortly after the pop quiz. Undertaker failed the quiz and is now feeling very heavy. He will be curled up inside his coffin until it wears off.]]

26: Follow Up

2010-01-06T06:53:44Z

I hope everyone ~enjoyed~ their Christmas presents and had a ~happy~ new year. I'm still not sure what year it is here, but I ~trust~ the school will make it ~eventful~.

On ~that~ note, who would like to help me make~coffin carts~?

25: Planning

2009-12-20T19:37:13Z

~Christmas~ time is almost here. I ~hope~ you have all been ~good~ little girls and boys this year...

~Apprentice~, that time you and the ~bishop~ made everyone fall ~asleep~...how did you do it?

You enjoy making ~costumes~, do you not? Could I make a ~request~? I could ~pay~ you if you require.

If anyone ~else~ would like to help spread the ~Christmas cheer~, I have a ~special~ surprise in mind. I could use some extra ~bodies~ to ~help~ me.

24: Ghost of Christmas Present

2009-11-30T23:10:15Z

It is almost ~December~, and that means ~~frostbite and influenza and~~ ~Christmas~! I have ~already~ begun making presents. If anyone has any ~special~ requests, let me know. We should all spread the ~joy~ and ~happiness~ of the Christmas season!

23: To tell you the ~truth~

2009-11-26T03:57:32Z

I do not ~kill~ people. I've always been very ~patient~ waiting for ~customers~. I haven't been this long without ~burying~ someone since I started my ~career~. I am ~bored~ and rather ~perplexed~ as to why all of you are so ~healthy~. Really, almost half a ~year~ and not ~one~ person has ~died~, not even from a ~freak~ accident. You really should be more considerate to those of us who make a living of your dying...

So, would anyone like to ~assist~ me with making a ~coffin cart~? The ~only~ thing more fun than a ~coffin~ is a coffin with ~wheels~~~or a dead ~baby~ in a ~clown~ suit in a coffin with wheels...~~

22: Hoping for frostbite or hypothermia

2009-11-14T19:24:54Z

It is ~snowing~ outside. You ~know~ what that means, ~dear~ students- winter ~merriment~ and frolicking in the ~~deadly~~ ~ice~ cold snow. I expect ~ice~ sculptures and ~snow angels~ from everyone! And ~don't~ forget to skate on the ~~thin~~ ice! ~Ha ha ha ha ha~.
Just ~~forget~~ remember to wear your ~gloves~ so you don't lose any ~fingers~ to frostbite.

21: Not Dead [Backdated to physical]

2009-11-12T00:54:30Z

What do they ~mean~ embalming fluids are ~unhealthy~? They did not even make a ~single~ cut to look ~inside~ of me! How are they supposed to know how ~healthy~ I am without a little ~examination~?

If anyone here wants to ~really~ know how their ~organs~ are functioning, I am ~ready~ and ~willing~ to do a ~thorough~ examination.

20: This is Halloween

2009-10-31T03:52:36Z

This is the most ~wonderful~ day ever! I've ~never~ seen the campus look so ~lovely~. And so many ~familiar~ faces...although I am ~quite~ sure I've ~buried~ them before...and there is a friendly ~new~ face in the ~tunnels~. He is so ~fun~; you all simply ~must~ meet him!

So, who wants to ~meet~ in the park and tell ~ghost stories~ around the bonfire?

[OOC- Your characters may see the Undertaker running around gleefully, dressed as a mummy. He is alternating his time exploring the campus, attempting to talk with ghosts, and playing with Oogie Boogie. ))

19: Witty and Bright as well

2009-09-21T03:48:13Z

I feel ~pretty~!

If ~someone~ finds my ~hat~, please ~return~ it to me. If something were to ~happen~ to it ~~I would be forced to bring out my scythe again~~ I would be ~most~ upset.

((Undertaker looks rather like this The hat is necessary))

18: Amusement

2009-09-17T00:34:37Z

I found this ~comic~ today. What a ~lovely~ sentiment!

17: The most hospitable undertaker of all

2009-09-09T02:06:11Z

So, it is ~raining~ again and all you poor ~weary~ students are going to need some nice ~hot~ tea to keep you ~healthy~ and ~happy~ as you go about your day. Pay me a visit in the ~tunnels~. I'll keep a ~kettle~ on for you.

Also, does ~anyone~ happen to know if a little ~dark-haired~ boy with glasses is ~ill~? I had tea with ~him~ a while ago, but he has not ~responded~ to my messages and has yet to pay me another ~visit~. If he is sick, I should ~~get to work on his coffin~~ wish him a ~speedy~ recovery.

16: A little trouble hearing (backdated to senseless virus)

2009-08-26T15:13:26Z

Does anyone know ~what~ sort of ~creature~ a 'synthetic' is? I need to ~find~ and ~skin~ one for a ~guest~ of mine...
and please, if you know, either ~write~ it or ~speak up~. I am having a little trouble ~hearing~ today...

15: Business as Usual

2009-08-10T02:45:48Z

Do to the ~number~ of people here that seem to enjoying ~dying~, ~pretending~ to be dead, or lying around as if in a ~death-like~ state on campus, I would to offer my ~services~ once more. I can build you a ~top quality~, custom-sized coffin or urn, arrange a ~final~ resting place, and even design a ~tombstone~ for any that wish. The only ~cost~ is a few good ~laughs~. There is ~no~ reason not to be ~prepared~, and even less to rest in ~discomfort~.

14: It could be ~worse~

2009-07-13T01:55:09Z

I do not think the ~heat~ is ~so~ bad. The tunnels stay rather ~cool~, and at least there are no ~bodies~ rotting. I bought a remarkable ~air-filled~ pool of water at the bookstore to relax in, and am trying out my new 'swim-trunks'. If anyone is too ~hot~, feel free to ~visit~. Madame Red's egg-sack just ~hatched~ too, so you will have plenty of ~company~!

((I know I said hiatus, but by the time the con ends, heatwave will be over, and I will have my Undertaker in orange-and-pink flamingo swim trunks lounging in an inflatable pool if it kills me! I'm not good at hiatuses...))

[OOC] How's my driving?

2009-07-06T01:02:25Z

Since I never know how I am doing with things unless people tell me, and since this is my first fan-based rpg, I want to know if I am doing things right. How am I doing as a mun and as a muse? If you are familiar with Kuroshitsuji (or with FFTactics*), am I in character enough? Just, if you've got a sec and there is something I am doing wrong (or something I've been doing right), let me know so I can improve my characters.

I'm not super computer savvy, but I have this entry set to allow anonymous comments, apparently, so log out and leave a comment if you wish to be unknown. Sorry, I thought I had it set to anonymous only, but apparently the settings don't do what I think they do.

* I will make a specific one for Ramza's journal later on, but for the sake of not spamming people's friends' pages, I will wait a little while. Feel free to leave feedback for Ramza as well, if you so desire.