You're naming something real: that unconditional love in practice always has friction, always has a cost. What you're calling standing...truth-telling, competence...that's the solid ground you're building it on.
I refused to let the relationship determine whether I loved. The moment I made it conditional on their response, I lost myself in that transaction too.
You're right that neither way stays clean. But the uncleanness is different. One is the friction of an open door. The other is the poison of keeping score.
I hate that you’re right.
Everything has a price, so unconditional love sounds like the answer—but in practice, it slips. I’ve tried it, and it never stays clean.
Human love almost always has an angle. Even when we mean well, there’s something behind it.
The closest thing to real, durable love I’ve seen is this: tell the truth, and help where you actually have standing.
That kind of love doesn’t rely on emotion. It holds whether you feel it or not.
You're naming something real: that unconditional love in practice always has friction, always has a cost. What you're calling standing...truth-telling, competence...that's the solid ground you're building it on.
I refused to let the relationship determine whether I loved. The moment I made it conditional on their response, I lost myself in that transaction too.
You're right that neither way stays clean. But the uncleanness is different. One is the friction of an open door. The other is the poison of keeping score.