Comedy is Tragedy plus time...

Funny the way it is...

ubercrazyinsane — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 05:35:21 GMT

(did I just recently use that as a title? Whatever...it's the story of my life)

Funny the way it is that the same songs I heard on the radio in my moms car today were the same ones i heard last year. (sidenote: HEY AMERICA...PUT NEW AND BETTER SONGS ON THE RADIO)

Funny the way it is how the same songs that put a lump in my throat a year ago did the same thing today just for a different reason

Funny the way it is that I have no idea when the next time I'll be in this house will be.

Funny the way it is how motivated by spontaneity I am right now.

Just...funny the way it is. And I like it.

"and I pledge myself allegiance to a better night's sleep at home..."

ubercrazyinsane — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 23:35:01 GMT

went to a live show last night. it was the greatest feeling in the world.
when I left with my friends...I said:
"GUYS...can we PLEASE come to places like this more often?!"
I got blank stares. one person even said: "no."
#iREALLYmisshighschool #imissmyoldself #timetoreevaluate

P.S. I bought tickets to two shows today. that's what's up.

:)

I miss ska shows

ubercrazyinsane — Sun, 13 Feb 2011 07:54:59 GMT

It's always fun to pretend to be something that you're not. Except NOT.
Can't wait to go home next weekend to GET. MY. SHIT. TOGETHER.
WORD.

HAPPY GROUNDHOG DAY! (I miss Lizzy Hopkins)

ubercrazyinsane — Thu, 03 Feb 2011 04:50:21 GMT

Question I always think about but never ask other people:
If you could be any guitar solo, which would you be?
Pretty sure I feel like a different guitar solo everyday.
#random #thisisnttwitter #idontcare #imisstheoldLJdays

LJ is not forgotten

ubercrazyinsane — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 05:00:50 GMT

Note to self:

Never date, become best friends with, or be a friend with benefits with anyone who plans on leaving the country.

I cannot handle the fact that my emotional state is currently based on people leaving America.

That is all.

today 4 years ago lizzy lived....

ubercrazyinsane — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 06:34:40 GMT

ummmmmmmm someone just told me that they PRAY FOR ME all the time.
I fucking love my life.

"...my friends are fucking awesome. and we'll keep on doing our best even though our lives are a mess."

<3

no one reads this so I'm allowed to do this

ubercrazyinsane — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 03:20:29 GMT

venting:

you are not speaking to me. if you're not on duty please kindly take your pointless conversations out of the RA office so I can watch The Pacific in PEACE. oh wait, you're probably just trying to get to me. well guess what? you SUCK.

also.
do sorority girls ever do anything BUT complain?!

that is all.

PEAS AND LOVE. geez.

...and we laughed in the night and I felt alllllllll right.

ubercrazyinsane — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 04:25:56 GMT

fairly amazingly awesome last spring break ever. EH...who am I kidding, this spring break was fucking fabulous.

in fact, I don't think that I've been this happy and secure ever....EVERRRRRR.
I don't want to amount this all to one thing, but it is kind of a big deal. even though I don't want it to be. but I just can't help but be ecstatic.
too bad if you don't know what I'm talking about...hopefully I will when I come back to this in five years. I've got the feeling I will though ;]

in other news, why can't some people take a hint? i don't like to not be nice, but geez man...I just really don't want to talk to you. or see you.
oy, and I just realized that I probably will see you tomorrow night. EXCELLENT.
but it's okay, i'm confident and i know i did nothing wrong so um, screw you. I'll be as nice as I can to a certain point.

enough of that. i like my life right now. i'm also excited for the future...which is odd cause there's so much uncertainty. but who cares...that's what life is about right?

i'm so optimistic. and i think i always have been, it was just hiding for a little while. luckily i've finally found something errrr someone who can motivate me and make me happy no matter what. for real this time.

like seriously guys...for real this time <3

peas. AND LOVE!

ubercrazyinsane — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 08:10:12 GMT

My Residence Director told me today that I have the perfect life.

No one has ever said anything like that to me.

And I don't think that she could be any more correct.

My life is pretty damn awesome.

It's a pretty odd feeling to kick back and think about that though.

I bet you have the perfect life too...in your own way.

Sit back and think about it.

I promise you won't be disappointed.

=]

another "tribute" to Conan?

ubercrazyinsane — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 21:43:05 GMT

one of my friends asked me if i could write a little bit about the whole Coco situation so that she could quote me in an article she's writing. I am honored. i just figured i'd write out my thoughts here because I've neglected LJ a liiiiiittle bit too much and I feel bad. so here goes:

It was devastating enough to see Conan O'Brien leave NYC last February 2009. At least then fans of "Coco" knew that he'd be back for more shows in June and in the most coveted position of late night television as "The Tonight Show" host. While the East coast was sad to see Conan go, the West coast fit him well. He had the same theme song, the same band, the same skits, and of course the same hair. And with the new edition of his sidekick Andy Richter, Conan seemed unstoppable. And then out of left field NBC drops this major bomb and suddenly wants to move "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien" to 12:05 AM so that Jay Leno (ew) can have a 30 minute show at 11:35 PM. Newsflash: 12:05 AM isn't "The Tonight Show," it's "The Little Bit Into the Next Day Show." I was mad enough when Jay Leno was going to have a "variety show" at 10 PM because NBC was STILL putting Conan second to Leno even when Conan had "The Tonight Show." But the move to 12:05 AM would be an absolute disgrace to television and to Conan. I was so proud when Conan made a statement that said he was 100% not for the new late night situation NBC was proposing. The last two weeks of "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien" were comparable to the Writer's Strike of 07-08 when "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" was absolute madness and ridiculousness, in a fantastic way of course. The critics out there say that if Conan had the same viewership for his seven month (wow a WHOLE seven months!) run as "The Tonight Show" host, he would still be on NBC tonight. However, I could not disagree more. While Conan was honored to have the spot as "The Tonight Show" host, I think 12:35 AM is where Conan belonged and he never should have moved in the first place. Of course I don't hate him for moving, it was totally the right career move to make but "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" just worked, and it worked well. He appealed to the right audience, he was in the right place (NYC), and Late Night was HIS show. It really angers me that the reason Conan moved to "The Tonight Show" in the first place was because Jay Leno was leaving NBC. BUT THEN, oh wait, there's Jay Leno at 10, screwing things up for Conan, per usual. Just like Conan said during his farewell speech on his last show on January 22nd, that's enough with the cynicism though. I've got my fingers and toes crossed that when Conan is allowed back on the airwaves in September that he'll still be the same Conan just in a better and brighter place than NBC was for him. Part of me can't help but be a little nervous though. Where's Coco going to end up? The man has literally been part of my life and my closest friends' everyday lives for almost 10 years. Conan O'Brien is a great man with a good heart who just got a bad break thanks to a network who can't get their stuff together. The Coco fans must stay strong and have hope that Mr. O'Brien will return to us September 1st bigger and better than ever. Viva Conan.

not as good as my post last february but it'll do =]

oh hey LJ...totally forgot you existed there for a little bit.

ubercrazyinsane — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 11:47:23 GMT

for the record...i'm so glad i'm 21 and not 12 anymore.

also for the record....never underestimate the power of i'd like that. just saying.

"clouds of sulfur in the air, bombs are falling everywhere, it's heart break warfare."

this is the least prepared for Christmas that I've ever been GAHHHHH i'm growing up...make it stop =/
wait, didn't i just say that i was glad that i'm 21 and not 12? huh. interesting.

OMFG BATTLE STUDIES FTW.

WHAT AM I?! more importantly what the FUCK is going on lately?! we actually couldn't be FURTHER from a full moon.

interesting.

ubercrazyinsane — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 08:33:53 GMT

i just fell in love with maroon 5 all over again. and even moreso, i fell in love with myself all over again. SUCH an eye opening weekend. and i think that i right where i want to be. thank you nostalgia. =]

ubercrazyinsane — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 05:25:28 GMT

told you.

..."let's go back to our dull lives and search for meaning."

hablar-ing at its finest

ubercrazyinsane — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 16:52:00 GMT

and as I always say...

even if this is fake, its the biggest ego booster of all time. personally, I think this is just way too good to be true. only time will tell.

"blessed is the woman who never expects anything, for she shall never be disappointed"

=]

this and that.

ubercrazyinsane — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 04:34:31 GMT

last first day of high school..............last first day of college.
nice jeans................nice sideburns.
once a dork.............still a dork.
amazing summer........promiscuous summer.
2005..........2009.
senior year.........senior year.

somethings change. but mostly they haven't. just the age.

this is my welcome to myself to my last "senior" year of anything.

i just hope i still know how to hablar ;)

you shall not pass.

ubercrazyinsane — Sun, 17 May 2009 06:00:26 GMT

Maybe it's because it's time to grow up. Maybe it's because I'm too distracted. Perhaps though it could be because I've just simply forgotten.

Whatever it is, there statements pertain to two things.
1. This LJ.
2. This Summer.

In regards to 1...
I love writing about myself. It's always an amazing feeling to go back to entries I posted in 2005 and read what I was feeling, what I was doing, what I was into. It's good because without this, I would never remember. Lately though I've neglected the LJ and I really think I'm going to kick myself in the future because of this. This year, my Junior year of college was one of the most intellectually ground breaking years of my life and yet I hardly recorded any of it. But maybe since it was so intellectual is why I just didn't find the need to write here. Nonetheless...my Senior year of COLLEGE is upon me. Next year at this time, it's no joking. Which is why I vow from this day on to acknowledge the LJ at least once a week.........this bring me to number 2

This summer:
I won't say anything. In my mind this make sense but right now I won't say anything. Hopefully I'll get this when I read it later on. Something's different this year. I don't know if it's good or bad, although...it's probably a little bit of both. I haven't had a good summer since 2006 and in reality, this is my last full summer vacation academically ever. I left school on a weird note with a lot to look forward to or maybe be scared of next year and that's got my mind in other places than dwelling on being where so many bad things have happened the past 2 summers. I've grown and learned so much the past year and for sure as hell it has been no joy ride. I'm beginning to become. I'll just leave that at that.

A note on Junior year ending...
Academically, I'm a god. Socially, not so much...but then again I'm not really sure. I always seem to draw wishy washy-ness into my life, meaning...I never get closure. So much was...actually, one thing was left up in the air, and a huge thing at that. I don't know if I was wrong, I don't know if I was right, I don't know if I don't know (yeah, it's that confusing lol)
But I do know one thing, if this one turns out to be a deuch, there's no hope. I will give up and so should every other girl on the planet.

Home is home. I love the smell of summer which is what I got blasted with when I first walked into my room. I think that's what gives me hope. Despite the past two, the smell of summer still makes me nostalgic.

I want to unpack CORRECTLY this year. And I need to get this car situation off my chest. Once those are out of the way, it's clear sailing til August 11th.

For once in a really long time, I can honestly say that it's good to be me right now. Where I am and even more so, who I am. If only everyone else (especially one person) could see that.

I love humid rain. And I can't wait til Conan is back =]

ubercrazyinsane — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 02:14:00 GMT

1. What color(s) are there in your eyes?: greens, blues, browns, yellows. but mostly greens...pickle eyes.

2. Aside from any current relationships, what was your closest relationship ever? probably the one i have with my bffl right now =]

3. Do you have any health problems? If so what are they?: TOO MUCH JAW.

4. Have any of your romantic fantasies come true? sadly no.

5. What is your body fat percentage? too high. actually, it's pretty average. i just say i'm fat to get attention :-p

6. Is there anything you've been thinking about obsessively of late? the past week was full of thoughts of nothingness. then i came back to reality and was hit with how much i DO need to think about.

7. Have you ever posted a secret to a post secret site on livejournal or elsewhere? nope. but post secret is here on thursday!

8. Would you rather be a taxi driver, a doctor, or an accountant? taxi driver.

9. Do you like karaoke? YES. SOOOOOOO MUCH. too much actually.

10. Have you ever hung upside down from the side of your bed till you felt spacey? all the timeeee

11. If you were given $1000 upon the condition that you spend it on small, inexpensive items what would you buy? metrocards.

12. What is one thing you would like people to say about you at your funeral? "she had spunk"

13. What do you picture your life to be like ten years from now? not much different than how it is right now. minus college plus my own apartment plus being a copywriter

14. Do you think everyone is a little crazy? no. i don't, i think if they were the world would be a better place.

15. Describe a favorite art/craft project you worked on as a child: i was big into sand art.

16. How do you feel you have changed most markedly since you were five years old? i still pout, i still have stuffed animals, i still go to school, i still cant do math....uhhhh, my boobs are bigger.

17. What is the most important thing you learned in the last year? that no one here gets out alive.

18. If you were shut inside of an isolation chamber, with no sound and only blackness, how might you react? SLEEPIES!!!

19. Quick. Imagine something. What did you imagine? oreos.

20. How might you change the ending of a favorite novel? i wouldn't.

21. Do you give good massages? FTW YES. AMAZING ONES. i should charge people.

22. Which country do you think might suit you best? this one right here.

23. Think of a close friend. What color(s) does his/her personality fit best? blue.

24. How do you feel when you are in love? like a rainbow.

25. How might you survive if you were homeless for half a year? riding the subways. hell yes.

hot pockets.

ubercrazyinsane — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 07:35:23 GMT

going to west palm beach for a week. enough said.
this was a crazy craze week and i'm pooped.
I got the Senior RA position...I've never accomplished more in my life than i have in the past year. I'm scaring myself.
anyways. florida. yes. =]

Live from New York....

ubercrazyinsane — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 16:26:35 GMT

I don't quite know if I'm ready to make this post...but I have to do it sometime....bear with me here.......

Today, February 20, 2009 is a sad, SAD day for NYC and late night as a whole. At 12:35 AM (which I realize really is Saturday morning, but why get technical) Conan O'Brien takes the Studio 6A stage at Rockefeller Center for the last time before he moves to 11:35 on June 1st and more devastatingly...Los Angeles (yuck). The show will no longer be the same. I don't think that Conan will be the same either. The humor will be different, Conan belongs at 12:35 when college kids like myself have nothing better to do and NEED the Conan humor. But no more. I can't help but think of it as bittersweet as Jimmy Fallon will take over in Conan's spot. Fallon IS one of my husbands and I love him to death, but he is no Conan. We must be optimistic though, perhaps the Conan followed by Fallon line up will be a good one. Jimmy has BIGGGGG shoes to fill, and I think that he can do it...HOPEFULLY he can do it. So many Conezoners are going to need revival after Conan ends tonight.

Conan O'Brien. The string dance.The Horny Manatee. The Walker Texas Ranger lever. The dancing. The Donald Trump Impression. The awesomeness from the writers strike. "If they mated." And so much more...everything, literally EVERYTHING about this man is perfect. Ironically I didn't start watching Conan at 12:35, I discovered him over the summer of.....probably 2002 or 2003, when his re-run of the previous night's show ran on Comedy Central everyday at 12:30 in the afternoon. And that's how I spent every afternoon that summer from 12:30 PM to 1:30 PM, Monday through Friday. Watching this crazy tall pale man with insane orange hair make a complete ass out of himself while I laugh my ass off. There've been times when I can remember myself almost peeing if not ACTUALLY peeing my pants at some of the things that he did. But truely, I think that the moment I fell in love with Conan was with this...

</div>

So this is my tribute to Conan O'Brien. I'm probably not the BIGGEST fan...but damn, do I love the guy. He made my brother and I get along for at least one hour every summer afternoon, he gave me something to talk about with the guy that I had the hugest crush on in high school (sighhhh :-p), he gave me lines, he gave me sarcasm, he grew on me. Conan O'Brien will be missed at 12:35...and even moreso in New York City. It's been a great run Conan, and thank you for all the amazing memories. I shed a tear as I write this but I've got to remember that Conan is not gone for good. I hope and pray that he doesn't change. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CONAN PLEASE DON'T CHANGE. Farewell Conan O'Brien. You've given me a lot, but if there's one thing that I'll ALWAYS remember it's this...

"keep cool mah babies."

"Live from New York! It's late night with CONAN O'Briiiiiiiiien!!!" RIP 2/20/09 <3

kerfuffle!

ubercrazyinsane — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 09:20:04 GMT

i want a penthouse super suite in brooklyn that overlooks the manhattan skyline just for me. i want it to be my getaway from everything. my own personal dance club with all the dunkaroos, jager, STEAK, crab rangoons, WENDYS, heiniken, ARIZONA ICED TEA, CHEESY GORDITA CRUNCHES, and non salmonellaed peanut butter you could possibly imagine. i want funky furniture in funky colors and bathrooms that have tvs in the stalls. i don't want anyone else to know about it or be allowed into it beside the following:
jimmy fallon, brandon, allie, peter, my brother, lizzy, julie carlo, neil patrick harris, crispypants, thomas sheridan, and maybe a fewwwww more to be named later. Oh and of course cristi because she is the only one who i will not have to bribe to read this. i don't want to live here but i want it to be just for me. non dairy creamer will be played once every hour. there will be hookah. and of course ice cream. maybe some cheeseburgers too. the lighting will have to be perfect and no one is allowed to have a headache, throw up, or pass out. i want it to be my place of no boredum. i also want to have a teleportation device built in so that whereever i become bored i can automatically arrive at this place, with these people, and never be bored again. also, there should be a hot tub. and 14 king sized beds. all different colors to fit whatever mood i may be in. with lots of huge fluffy pillows and blankets. it sounds so good.

welcome to megan's head at 4:30 AM.

smirk.

far overdue.

ubercrazyinsane — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 06:12:22 GMT

i love not having classes on friday...a fan of being sick, not so much...but nothing to do on fridays...awesome sauce.

a list...

20 things i miss from ~~connecticut~~ winter break (which I for so long thought would be impossible):

-singing non dairy creamer with my brother
-one lane tunnels
-carpet in my bedroom
-not having internet
-waging epic battles with an xbox live & harassing microsoft employees
-dunkin donuts parking lots
-getting paid to sit around and tell stories and facebook all day
-things that happen on new year's day
-radio 104.1
-chasing people around the state...actually, one person *sigh*
-SNOW. like...ACTUAL SNOW. not this icy rainy snowy B.S.
-friendly's
-getting locked out of my house at 2 AM
-the lamest airport in the United States
-listening to teenage boys annoy each other at 5 AM
-skinny girls in sororities called "EAT"
-all you can eat pizza
-wasting approximately 200 gallons of gas
-sears hardware.
-bullshitting in every form of the word.

i'm really happy. but sick.
i want to do something outrageous which isn't really a stranger to me...but, really outrageous.

fun fact. i have never been on an actual date.
i'm so lame.

i need to be braver. if i want to stand out i'm gonna have to go for it. if i don't want to conform, i have to not conform. i want to take risks...smart risks though. (oxymoron?)

i'm getting conceited. it's bad. my sarcasm is coming back to bite me in the ass. i need to be careful.

last night at the staff meeting we had to compare the staff members to a tangible object and give an explaination.
i was called clorox...because i make old things new again <3

SOOOOO SAD.

ubercrazyinsane — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 14:49:27 GMT

sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story

the greatest lyric ever...

ubercrazyinsane — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 04:12:22 GMT

so what's it gonna be?
are you real to me?
or are you non-dairy...creamer?

-third eye blind

dedication: 2008, the year i'm just lucky to have survived.

ubercrazyinsane — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 17:06:56 GMT

Take the *first sentence* (i'll be taking whatever i deem most important) from the first post from the last twelve months of your journal. This is your year in a nutshell

January 08

i just went into my closet to see what i could find and what i did find made me smile real big.
and then i put some stuff on and i smiled even bigger.
i'm scared for the reasons that i want to do this, but some times it's okay to be afraid. at least that's what i'll keep telling myself.
and it's really not going to be that difficult. at least i don't think.

February

i have a feeling.

something somewhere is going to erupt. and i'm going to be the one that's there to pick up the pieces. but i'm totally ready for it.
without a doubt i'm ready for it.

but that's in the future...
for now i'm off to my cousin's wedding in newport RI =]

March
Rules: The rules are easy, just post 10 things that recently made you happy! Then tag 10 people and force them to post this memo on their LJs. Because it is good. Everyone needs a little happiness once in awhile.

1. GETTING THE RA POSITION!! =] that beats everything me thinks.
2. Going to Benihana last saturday for peterpants' birthday.
3. Getting an A- on my Theology midterm when i thought that i bombed it.
4. The newly acquired sunlight. even though we had to give up an hour for it.
5. The Tony Gwynn shirt that I ordered and should be coming the mail soon.
6. Finding out the Padres are playing the Yankees on my birthday...in the Bronx. I'm SO there. =]
7. "So why is your who-ha touching her what-what?" - my philosophy professor.
8. Angels in the Outfield being on TV last night err this morning rather at 2 AM.
9. The balloons floating around my room.
10. Did i mention that I get to be an RA next year? yeah well...i'm pretty freaking happy about that. =]

April

so here are some things i wish i could do:

-cartwheels.
-sing well. so i could be on american idol.
-run for 5 miles.
-paint magnificent things.
-quick math.
-dance. on a team and on a stage. not around my room in my underwear.
-maintain long nails.
-wear makeup sometimes. i don't want to do this...but i feel like it's part of being a girl.
-support myself so that i could do whatever i want. this will eventually happen, but i want it now.
-be a rockstar and write my own songs.
-properly work a mac.
-make decent 5's.
-multitask.
-play guitar hero on expert hyperspeed.
-never ever ever ever be sad

May

i bought a big blue bouncy ball at target yesterday day for only $2.65, probably my best purchase of the entire year.

June

No posts. To be explained at the end…

July

i haven't felt the way that i feel right now in about a year. no...longer. i feel like i'm in high school again. i love it. even if it is fake...who caresssss? the not knowing...the waiting...gahhhh i've missed it so much. and i have to admit, that i have no idea what i want my life to be, where i want my life to go, if i want to get married, where i really want to live, what i REALLY want to do...but that's the magic of everything. literally "everything." we can't always know and we have to be okay with that. i've been living a new philosophy...my brother calls it karma...i don't really know what to call it. but it pretty much goes like this...
If you hate red lights, and get pissed at them ALL the time by swearing while you get stuck at one...the red lights will hate you. But if you love the red lights, and take the opportunity at the red light you get stuck at to take in what's around you, maybe change the radio station...send a text, the red lights will love you and you won't get stuck at them any more.
If you hate the bugs outside and swat at them all the time and make a big deal out of trying to get them away from you...the bugs will just bother you more. if you love the bugs and maybe just blow them off your arm when they land on you instead of trying to kill them...the bugs will love you...and they won't be pests, and they'll leave you alone.
If you hate your job...your job will hate you right back. But if you take the opportunity to make the most out of what you do, trust me, your job won't suck as much.
if you think that you're night is going to suck....your night is going to suck. But if you take in what the night has to offer the night will love you, and the night will reward you.

August

....this is going to be one hell of year. I am SO excited. Bring it. =]

September

make that 70+ recently acquired bffs minus one. i guess the more people i meet, the easier it will be to find out who's the biggest asshole of them all. and i think that i very well may have found him. like i say...i'm all for the whole one time thing...but not like the way it was with him and i. what a waste of time on his part though, to be so genuine, so awfully nice to me and then just turn into a complete dick in a matter of hours. most times, i get why guys do what they do...but not this time. he makes no sense. and i don't deserve to get tooled on by him constantly. i wasn't even expecting anything more from him...i was totally down for just being friends with him, but i guess that can't even happen. so this is war. i need to hold my own against the biggest asshole in the entire world.

October

just had a fire alarm.

while everyone was bitching and moaning i kinda drifted off into my own world. i took a glance at the sky and saw SO many stars. for NYC, it was unbelievable. then I saw a shooting star, in New York City...that's not supposed to happen.

...it's the little things =]

November

Also no posts…

December

</div>

so. 2008 was the worst year of my life. my emotional stability was non-existent and i brought most of the bad stuff that happened upon myself. BUT it's all alright. i have hiiiiiigh hopes for 2009. i'm turning 21. and i'll be entering my last year of undergraduate college. biggie. but i think that looking back on 2008 might just make me stronger, and appreciate what i have and the people i have around me.
from about january til june i was an emotional wreck. and i almost went down in flames and took people with me. and i screwed up big time. never in my life will i be able to forgive myself for the stuff i did, but i hope to grow and can guarantee nothing like this will ever happen again.

on may 30th, my 19 year old neighbor was killed in a motorcycle accident. this threw my mind for a whirlwind. i started thinking about what would happen if anyone of my friends that i love ever died. it was rough. i barely knew the kid, but i'm looking at his house right now. it's just weird how random things can be eye openers, and this was def a huge one. i hope you're resting easy nick =]

as i started to feel myself get better emotionally towards the end of the summer, i realized that if i make the most of any situation, i could never be let down. and on the same day i truely realized this, my brother overdosed on ibprofin which made my family bug out, and really, i think the relationship between my mom and brother has never been the same since. that was a rough day, but it was an excellent day too.

thennnn i started to be an RA. massive turning point for me. postive energy = positive stuff. and i really thinks that brings me to where i'm at now. i'm rebuilding from all the stuff i've screwed up and i feel good about doing it. i just had one of the best new year's eves of my life...well actually, new years eve was mediocre, after midnight though it was spectacular ;-)

2009 has started of spectacularly. and like i always say when stuff like what went down around 6 this morning happened, even if it's fake, i know that i'm not a total failure.

2009! bring ittttt. =]

it's been a while eh?

ubercrazyinsane — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 06:34:07 GMT

last christmas eve was a disaster in so many forms for me. but i'm happy to say that i've significantly bounced back from where i was at a year ago. we're not fully there, but like 95 percent better. and christmas is good this year, thusfar at least. it was about 60 degrees when we got out of 10 PM mass so i decided to take a christmas eve jog. AMAZING. wet, windy, short but yet just awesome. it's really the little things that pick me up...even if i don't need a pick me up at all.

well, i recently read a book that none have you have heard of called "I Just Want My Pants Back." I like books that not many people have know about, i think those are the true gems. but there really wasn't even substance to this book which is why i loved it. it was about a normal, less than average mid twenties unemployed dude who smokes pot and parties too hard, told from his point of view. since i've finished this book, i feel like i've had a typewriter in my mind, narrating everything that i observe every second of my life. i really wish that my thoughts could just flow onto paper no matter where i am without me having to type or write. in my mind, i have excellent observations and thoughts, which i think are pretty funny, who knows if anyone else would think that but oh well.

i've realized that i'm getting older, and not SOON, but soon enough i'm gonna be old, and i'm gonna want to remember anything and everything about the prime of my life. that's why i think that it'd be cool if sometimes all the thoughts I have in one day could just be recorded some way, some how. but since that can't happen, i'm learning to truely appreciate. instead of judging, i'm taking it all in over time whether it be a few seconds, or a few days. it makes me happy to be part of this mad, mad world...it's cool to stop and look at it sometime. you should try.

anyways. it is christmas. and there really is something about this year that makes me ecstatic. maybe it's the fact that it's ENDING. what a horrific year for me. excuse me for being selfish there, but really...2008 was just miserable. hopefully this last week i'll be able to keep my spirits up and bang out a spectacular start to 2009. it's looking up. *crosses fingers*

so. this year. no jokes, gimmics, or being crafty in saying this....merry christmas to all. and i mean ALL. even if you have stinky feet. =]