Mistress Uberbitsch Speaks

uberbitsch — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 13:58:15 GMT

DAMN YOU VERTIGO! I WILL DESTROY YOU!!

So I'm out of the anti-dizzy/anti-nausea/make-Louisa-angry pills that I got given last time everything went all tits-up thanks to labyrinthitis. Took my last one today about an hour ago after the other one started to wear off. I'm starting to think that I might have a slight cold from standing around outside on Friday drinking. That being said, I can't tell if I'm all stuffed up because I have a cold that triggered the labyrinthitis, or if the labyrinthitis has triggered the congestion. ARRGH!

Still. I made it into work even though concentration is truly difficult. Fortunately due to sucking up to the receptionists at the doctor's they're getting one of the GPs to phone me and hopefully write up a 'scrip for me to pick up this evening or tomorrow morning so I can at least be pilled up to the eyeballs and pretend to be a normal human... Alright. Normal by my deviant standards then. Have it your way.

The biggest frustration is that when I'm like this everything just sort of stalls in my mind. Speaking clearly and expressing myself the way I want to is nigh-on impossible. As usual, typing's fine. But speaking? Hah! I just stare blankly at Paul until I remember what I want to say by which point I'm angry and frustrated that I'm having a hard time expressing myself and then when I do say something it doesn't make that much sense or just sounds wrong and aggressive.

Urgh. Going to go outside. Maybe fresh air will help. Doubtful but it's an excuse to escape for a few minutes.

uberbitsch — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 20:27:54 GMT

It's true. Huckabee eats squirrels.

uberbitsch — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 15:56:22 GMT

Okay

Because it rocks:

Turisas' cover of Rasputin

Enjoy. It's genius. And accordions are FUCKING metal.

THE COLD WAR BEGINS ANEW!

uberbitsch — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 14:17:55 GMT

As promised...

THE COLD WAR BEGINS ANEW!
http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30000-1275544,00.html

We expel 4 diplomats.

Putin threatens to expel 80 diplomats. Four for each extradition treaty the UK has refused to sign in Russia's favour.

Round one to Vlad methinks.

uberbitsch — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 18:36:31 GMT

Conrad Black's been shafted! Apparently there's SOME justice in the world. Just nowhere near enough.

Between a Majestic Death And Frozen Death

uberbitsch — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 22:42:38 GMT

IT'S BACK!

THE UNHOLY HATEFUL BLACK METAL SONGTITLE-O-MATIC IS BACK!

Best. Thing. Ever.

It makes stuff like...

Praise The Dark Furnace Towards Crucified Wolves

uberbitsch — Mon, 28 May 2007 12:35:46 GMT

Akerocke were astoundingly good, by which I mean even for their sublime standards. It was more like a welcome home party at the Underworld than some kind of Satanic black mass or whatever it is the Christians are out to get them over this week. They'd just finished a tour with Ted Maul and Cephalic Carnage and the new album is being released today, so there was much to get wild about.

So yes. The gig was wonderful. The journey home was... not.

We make it to the Northern Line at Camden thinking that we'll just about be able to catch the last trains home. So we wait. And wait. And wait. So we go fuck this and get a bus to Euston and go to Green Park from there.

The fucking Victoria line was shut. And the Northern Line wasn't moving. By that point we'd missed the last Piccadilly train westbound from Kings Cross so that left us with one option - The Night Bus. Of course, the only bus remotely headed in our direction from Euston was several streets over from the station in the torrential rain. It was pissing down like it was the tropics during the monsoon. Except much colder.

So we arrive at the bus stop and again begins another long wait. This time we get the added bonus of a completely fucking mental African bloke wrapped in an orange blanket.

He comes over to the bus stop and starts wailing and lurching about. And kept wailing and grunting and snarling like some kind of possessed man. This continued for about fifteen minutes until he lurched too close to me and I told him to back the hell off. At which point he STOPS wailing!! And reasonably coherently goes on about how he can stand where he wants.

And then starts wailing again. At which point a bus turned up going in vaguely the right direction so we jumped on that and fled. Then took another bus to get us to Shepherds Bush and at that point seeing as it was STILL pissing down bucketloads we went fuck this and got a cab home.

London as soon as the tube shuts down is such a strange and fucked up place.

uberbitsch — Tue, 01 May 2007 20:57:23 GMT

From Blair's own lips the End is in Sight.

Yet I can't help but wonder if in the "next few weeks" ~~The Reichstag~~ London is hit by some GHASTLY terror attack and emergency powers give ~~Hitler~~ Blair a chance to continue to cling to power and erode our basic freedoms.

uberbitsch — Sun, 29 Apr 2007 23:18:26 GMT

I'm back.

And it was ace.

Vikings featured heavily as well as lots of people I haven't seen in years and half of who didn't recognise me due to the acquisition of long hair.

Proper update when I haven't just spent eleven and a half hours traveling.

And Scotland was BEAUTIFUL. And students must die.

That is all for now.

uberbitsch — Fri, 09 Feb 2007 12:54:20 GMT

How many maxists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. The lightbulb will sow the seeds of its own revolution!

uberbitsch — Sun, 14 Jan 2007 02:50:51 GMT

Okay.

There's this movie that's come out called Legalize Murder which is meant to be a mockumentary about a Welsh black metal band.

It's gotten rave reviews from both Metal Hammer and Zero Tolerance.

It's an undeniable pile of SHIT.

They're ripped off the Spinal Tap format almost scene from scene in parts. Such as having a forbidden drum kit that nobody can touch. Sound familiar? And there's NOTHING in it that's unique to black metal beyond the corpse paint and one Burzum poster. If these people know ANYTHING about that scene then they've not displayed anything about it. And the music Legalize Murder are supposed to play? Sounds like fucking sub-par Pantera. ARGH!

Oh, and don't get me started on the production values. I helped a mate in high school make way better films for his film class with a crappy camcorder.

What's really fucking me off though is that this could have SO MUCH POTENTIAL! I love black metal but it's an inherently silly genre at times. Yet somehow this has managed to bypass tapping into ANY of that.

uberbitsch — Sun, 07 Jan 2007 02:43:52 GMT

NEVER WAS THERE A MORE WORTHY DEVICE OF THE USB PORT!!!

uberbitsch — Wed, 27 Dec 2006 01:08:23 GMT

So.

Saddam dies within thirty days.

And lo! A new martyr was born at the dawn of a budding Iraqi "democracy."

Oh, and according to the White House this is a milestone. You know what? It almost certainly is. Just not in the way Dubya the remnants of his entourage may have imagined.

uberbitsch — Sat, 23 Dec 2006 16:25:11 GMT

First day of vacation and my sinuses are giving me grief, i'm having a bout of tinnitus, I'm congestged, my ears hurt, AND I have cramps.

However. I've slept for 12 hours and am entrenched on the couch in the company of two loving cats. That definitely helps.

And Second World War Holocaust documentaries!!! Ooh. That's just made my day. :D

From Russia with Love...

uberbitsch — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 22:55:17 GMT

The cover of the last issue of Private Eye made my day. I feel the need to share it.

In keeping with my cynicism towards this season...

uberbitsch — Sat, 16 Dec 2006 11:40:00 GMT

Christmas is coming,
The geese are getting fat,
Please to put a penny
In the old man's cunt.

Christmas is Coming
from the Christmas Song Generator.

uberbitsch — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 20:45:55 GMT

You are 95% Scottish

Congratulations - have a deep-fried Mars bar on me. You couldn't be more Scottish if you had a bottle of Irn Bru in one pocket and a Daily Record in the other.

How Scottish are you?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Well. No surprises there.

uberbitsch — Thu, 30 Nov 2006 19:57:46 GMT

I'm not entirely sure where they get the lying from. I tend to opt for letting people believe what they want to believe and not saying anything rather than outright lying. Lying's messy and complicated and never lasts.

Also - I may be heading to Stockholm in February/March to see Amon Amarth live. EEEEE!!! :D

uberbitsch — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 20:06:58 GMT

It took me two hours to get home today. Go Transport for London.

Meanwhile, have some Weird.

HERD OF PIGS EATS BOY ALIVE

uberbitsch — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 22:58:51 GMT

Why?

Who comes up wtih this shit?

Also...

NOW HERE'S A REAL HORROR MUSICAL!!!

*squee!!*

Gratuitous Kitten Spam!

uberbitsch — Wed, 25 Oct 2006 22:08:40 GMT

As threatened, I give you kitten photos.

The other day I was on my own, doing the dishes when I saw something fly into the laundry basket. At first I assumed Paul had thrown something in, then realised a few seconds later that he was out, so I went to investigate...

Ling Ling's so silly.

He also does nauseatingly sweet things like lying like this for five minutes or so before getting fed up:

And they love the dead sheep rug I've got. Tibs used to love sleeping on that too.

GRR! RARRGH! I KILL YOUUU!

Naptime.

This one's a few weeks old now. They're much bigger these days.

Octavian SEES you...

Mmm. Comfy.

The Great Moorgate Zombie Invasion

uberbitsch — Mon, 23 Oct 2006 12:31:40 GMT

EEE!!

They're filming part of the sequel to 28 Days Later outside my office!!! 28 Weeks Later!!!!! http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0463854/

Going to hang around and see if I can take pictures with my mobile and see if Robert Carlyle is about!!!

uberbitsch — Sun, 22 Oct 2006 20:53:01 GMT

A vicious apathy has gripped my brain. Grey is the predominant colour of everything. I'm not depressed, just... blank. Empty.

Overall, a rather irritation sensation. But then again it's preferable to full-blown mood swings and incessant weeping like what comes with depression. So for those of you who haven't seen me about online lately, don't worry. My brain's just having a massive sulk. Normal services will be resumed when my brain's reset itself.

I don't think the looming appraisal on Tuesday helps matters either. That's got me preoccupied and kind of going "oh for fuck's SAKE." I know I won't do brilliantly, but I know I won't be entirely abominable either.

Ah joy. Paul's back from Oxford. Must go poke him and then go hibernate.

Overblown Weddings! Incinerated Breast Implants! Yes! You guessed it!

uberbitsch — Wed, 18 Oct 2006 12:21:40 GMT

I now own Season One of FOOTBALLERS WIVES!!!

...

Paul is going to kill me, even if it WAS only a tenner. Then again, I have been telling him for ages that I WILL buy Footballers Wives DVDs as and when they're on sale.

Also - Yays! I have Thornography, the latest offering from Cradle of Filth.

Ahhh. I've indulged and indulged well. At least as far as I'm concerned, anyway.

uberbitsch — Wed, 18 Oct 2006 09:29:31 GMT

I think I'm slowly coming out of my strange brain fog that's been wrapping my head meat up in a haze for the last couple of weeks. It's probably me adjusting and entering into my winter cycle. Certainly explains the urge to sit under a duvet and eat more starch than is good for you. It's resulted in a deep, deep lethargy that's making it hard for me to care about much of anything right now. Fortunately that's starting to lift as well.

Appraisals loom next Tuesday. A review of all the good things I've done over the last year and a review of how I've fucked up and how I should avoid fucking up. Not quite as terrifying as it sounds but I'm not exactly looking forward to it either.

The kittens have officially settled into A Routine. This involves barging into the bedroom at quarter to eight and prodding, nibbling, and tickling me into awakeness so I can feed them. They then greet me when I get home from work with a series of squeaks and purrs and race around after me until I offer up their evening sacrifice of kibble and wet food. Playtime then ensues, followed by naptime, then more playtime around the time I head off to bed. Crazy beasts.

Right. Time to get more coffee and some croissants, crank up my MP3 player and try and storm through this ungodly pile of work before me that MUST be completed by about quarter to four today in order for it to be mailed out.