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Boring Milner
@BoringMilner
Parody. 18+
Joined July 2013
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    I just text Adrián to borrow his goalkeeper gloves. He said why? I said because I don't want to catch the coronavirus and you can't catch anything with those on. I'll let you know when he replies.
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    The exact moment I realised I had left the iron on.
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    I've just had a glass of Ribena and a cup of tea and it's still not calmed me down.
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    I’ve just asked Dejan Lovren when we’re going to see the evidence that he’s one of the best defenders in the world. He said NOT NOW JAMES.
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    I just said to Joe Gomez What's that in your pocket, Joe? He said Ohhh that's Haaland. Then he asked me What was in my pocket? I said Ohh that's Foden. It was so funny.
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    Hi @UEFA, how much did City pay you?
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    Loris Karius blames himself for the defeat. I said Well it was your fault Loris, you've cost us the game.
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    Just text Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain to welcome him to Liverpool but i think he ran out of signal. I hope he hasn't changed his mind.
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    I couldn't believe Vincent Kompany's goal. When he had the ball I was thinking to myself, Please shoot. Please shoot. Please shoot. But then he did shoot and then I wished he didn’t shoot.
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    Just been emptying my pockets from last night...
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    I just asked Andy Robertson if it was difficult marking Traoré? He said What do you think James? I said well it certainly looked difficult. He skinned you every time he had the ball. He just walked off.
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    I just asked Kieran Trippier if he's learnt any Spanish since his move to Atlético Madrid. He said: "Estás fuera de la liga de campeones" I said What does that mean? He said You're out of the Champions League.
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    If you boil your kettle at exactly 11:56:01 on New Years Eve, you will have made a cup of tea at exactly midnight. Start your New Year off right.
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    Foden just said to me That’s 1-4 the record books. I said Not now Phil.