북극성

Howl

2013-02-14T17:46:02Z

Title: Howl
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing: YeKyu (Yesung x Kyuhyun)
Rating: R
Genre(s): Romance (?), Angst (?)
Summary: What we all look for is someone who needs us so deeply and desperately that they are constantly on the brink of losing their sanity. After all, isn’t that what love is?

Warnings: Mild smut, unhealthy relationships and passive!Kyu. Not exactly Valentines Day material tbh.

A/N; Written for kyusungcentral for Valentine's Day.

***

The moon is nowhere in sight.

Kyuhyun walks out of his room after a long session of gaming and sees Jongwoon sitting on the couch, deep in thought. Kyuhyun stands in the doorway and watches him for a while, staring the frown that creates a crease in Jongwoon's forehead, wishing that he could touch it and smooth it out. When Jongwoon shuffles, Kyuhyun realizes that he has been staring for a tad bit too long. He heads to the kitchen to grab two cans of beer from the fridge, and walks back to the living room. He hands one can to Jongwoon, who looks at Kyuhyun with widened eyes. He didn't even seem to realize that Kyuhyun had left his room, and has been unaware that he wasn't alone the whole time he was sitting there and staring into space.

Kyuhyun chuckles and flops himself down on the sofa next to Jongwoon.

"What are you thinking about?"
"Do you think…it's possible to be in love with someone who isn't a girl, but not be gay per se?"
"What are you talking about?"
"I keep having these dreams…of you. But I'm not gay. It's just…I think I love you."
"What?"

Kyuhyun frowns as he processes what Jongwoon had just said. Surprisingly, part of him is giddy at the idea that Jongwoon dreams of him at night, but part of him is speechless and doesn't know what to say. But before he can respond, Jongwoon is leaning over and kissing him with a tenderness that he never knew the other possessed, seducing Kyuhyun slowly and softly with his lips. A hand strokes along Kyuhyun's arm soothingly.

"I…love you. At least, I think I do. I love your smile, your witty sarcasm, the way you look out for me. I don’t feel like this with anyone else."

Jongwoon trails kisses along Kyuhyun's jaw and down his neck. And Kyuhyun gasps a little as Jongwoon nips his collarbone gently and then sucks on it. In the back of his head, he wonders if Jongwoon is marking that Kyuhyun is his.

Kyuhyun doesn't stop and think about his own feelings or about the things that are happening. He is taken away by Jongwoon’s show of love and tenderness. But the way Jongwoon makes him feel…surely it can't be wrong. Surely Kyuhyun wants this too.

He feels so precious, and Jongwoon roams his hands all over Kyuhyun so gently, and in a way that makes Kyuhyun feel like he's floating on clouds in the sky.

"You're mine, Cho Kyuhyun."

Kyuhyun decides to just go along with whatever their relationship has just evolved into.

***

There is a waxing crescent moon hanging in the dark blue night.

Kyuhyun looks at Jongwoon warily. Jongwoon sits on Kyuhyun's bed and watches him. Kyuhyun can't help but take a gulp. There's a glint in Jongwoon's eyes, and Kyuhyun feels adrenaline course through his veins.

It's strange - when their relationship, or whatever it is between the two of them, began, Kyuhyun had never anticipated the amount of mood swings that Jongwoon would have.

There would be times when Jongwoon would make love to him so tenderly that it was as if Kyuhyun was made of glass, easily shattered if he is even just a little too rough. And sometimes after they had sex, after they had gotten all the hormones to calm down slightly, Jongwoon would admit that he's always worried that he would wake up and find out that this bliss has always been a dream. Jongwoon confesses that he's worried that he will touch Kyuhyun and Kyuhyun would just simply fade into smoke.

But then there would be times when Jongwoon would be so fierce with Kyuhyun that he wonders if Jongwoon has a bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. There would be times when Jongwoon would demand things, being so pushy that it makes Kyuhyun cry out in pain. Even a simple kiss can sometimes draw blood.

Sometimes, Jongwoon will list out all the things about Kyuhyun that make him love him more, that drive him to the brink of desperation and longing, that make him wonder whether or not this is all a dream.

"You know, I was watching you today."
"I know, you were very obvious about it."
"I think I fell in love with you more - the way you laughed when Hyukjae told a joke, the way your eyes sparkled when you made eye-contact to me, that moment you leaned your head against my shoulder to take a nap…"

Soft, loving kisses would be placed on every part of Kyuhyun's body.

"Kyuhyun, do you know what you do to me? You drive me crazy."
"I…do?"
"You know how I wanted to let everyone know that you are mine? The way Siwon touched you, the way Ryeowook would hold your hand like it's the most natural thing to do, the way Sungmin openly flirts with you…they shouldn’t be allowed to do that. You’re mine. Everyone should know that. I hate it when you’re apart from me so long, miles and miles away from me in China, because it’s drives me insane to be without you."

Jongwoon would lash out and make Kyuhyun pay for allowing hands other than Jongwoon's to touch him. Although Kyuhyun doesn't like the pain, he would bite his tongue and endure it because it was Jongwoon who was doing these things to him. And the kisses, the ones that are unspoken apologies for the rough treatment, come afterwards and warm Kyuhyun's frozen heart. The tears that wet Kyuhyun’s skin break Kyuhyun’s heart, and he knows that he cannot bear to leave Jongwoon when Jongwoon so obviously needs him.

Sometimes, Jongwoon would trace his fingers along Kyuhyun's skin, as if he was trying to memorize every little detail about it, so lightly that sometimes Kyuhyun wondered if it was just all a figment of his imagination. And they would talk. They talk until the early dawn with only the moon eavesdropping on their hushed conversations about life and love.

And now, Kyuhyun stands in front of Jongwoon, who is looking up at him with dark, dilated eyes. Kyuhyun thinks that Jongwoon almost looks predatory, like a wolf, and he wonders what his wolf would have in store for him tonight.

Even though Jongwoon hurts him, Kyuhyun finds himself coming back time and time again. Kyuhyun knows that Jongwoon doesn't love him - he is just an obsession - but he finds that he doesn't care. Because Kyuhyun knows that this obsession, these mood swings and switching back and forth is the only way Jongwoon knows how to convey how much he needs Kyuhyun in his life to keep him grounded.

***

The moon emerges a little more as it becomes a half moon.

Kyuhyun is sitting on his bed, staring into space blankly as he tries to process the events that have happened in the day. The irony is not lost on him, as he realizes this is exactly how he found Jongwoon on the sofa so many weeks ago.

"Let's…put an end to this."
"What?"
"You don't need me, not the way I need you. And knowing that alone…drives me insane even if you stay by my side. I turn into an animal when you do certain things. It…makes me…I feel bad for hurting you. But I can't stop myself, not when I want to possess you so desperately. I love you so much, but you don't return that love. And we still have to work together with the others. I don’t want to make it weird or ruin the group dynamics. I…can’t be selfish."

Kyuhyun had stared, speechless.

"Let's just go back to the way things were."

Kyuhyun had felt part of him panicking, but he couldn't bring himself to admit that he has started to feel himself falling. He had just simply nodded dumbly - he didn't trust himself to open his mouth without begging Jongwoon to reconsider - and Jongwoon had walked away.

And now Kyuhyun sits on his bed staring out of his window into the dark night, and refuses to let the tears well up and fall.

He thinks that Jongwoon is being selfish - how could they possibly go back to their friendship from before? Kyuhyun doesn't think he can even just sit next to Jongwoon and not want those hands on him. Or know that Jongwoon is keeping a part of him locked away from Kyuhyun.

For the first time since that night that Jongwoon first kissed Kyuhyun, Kyuhyun finally understood what Jongwoon meant about loving someone but not necessarily have that define his sexual orientation.

Kyuhyun loves Jongwoon.

He doesn't think he can love anyone else - man or woman - the same way he loves Jongwoon. He doesn’t think he needs anyone – man or woman – the same way he needs Jongwoon.

But Kyuhyun has lost Jongwoon.

Kyuhyun hugs his knees, and rocks back and forth to soothe himself. It has taken him a while to acknowledge his developing feelings, but by the time he has, it is already too late. He lets a tear slip from his eye, and quickly wipes it off his cheek. The only witness to this show of heartbreak is the moon, who cleverly shrouds itself in the clouds.

And later in the night, as Kyuhyun closes his eyes and lets his own hands wander on his body, he pretends that Jongwoon is there beneath the blanket with him, taking back the words that he had thrown at Kyuhyun earlier this evening with kisses and murmured apologies.

***

The waxing gibbous moon becomes just a little fatter.

Kyuhyun watches Jongwoon with narrowed eyes as he tries to restrain his jealousy. Jongwoon is laughing, throwing his head back, and Kyuhyun doesn't remember seeing Jongwoon laugh with such abandon in months. There is a twinkle in his eye as he chuckles at something stupid that Donghae says, and Kyuhyun wants to drag Jongwoon away after punching Donghae's face. Donghae looks delighted with himself after Jongwoon laughs and ruffles his hair, and Kyuhyun's hand forms a fist.

He wonders if this is what Jongwoon felt like all those months ago. He feels so disgusted with himself for having such primitive urges, for having the urge to want to hurt Jongwoon for looking at someone other than Kyuhyun in such a way. He wants to lure Jongwoon, the passionate and angry one, out. He wants to feel the extent of Jongwoon's love for him, in any shape or form, be it pleasure or pain.

He wants to feel anything, anything other than the nonchalance. Jongwoon has an amazing skill at hiding his feelings - Kyuhyun wasn't prepared for how natural Jongwoon looked when he acknowledged Kyuhyun's presence. He had even joked around with Kyuhyun, and all Kyuhyun wanted to do was lock himself in a room and hate himself for being so weak, for being the only one who was and is affected by whatever their relationship, or lack thereof, has become.

When Donghae retreats to his dorm, Kyuhyun approaches Jongwoon. He is holding two beers in his hand, and he hands one to Jongwoon. Jongwoon raises his eyebrows in speculation, and Kyuhyun wonders if Jongwoon realizes that this is exactly where their relationship had started off.

Jongwoon sits and sips at his beer, and waits patiently for Kyuhyun to start speaking. Kyuhyun takes a deep breath.

"I think I know what you meant now, all those months ago."
"So?"

The look of contempt on Jongwoon's face freezes Kyuhyun, and he wonders what to do now. But having Jongwoon so close brings back all the memories. And before he knows it, Kyuhyun has grabbed the collar of Jongwoon's shirt and kisses him with a reckless abandon. One of the buttons is ripped off from the material, but neither of them hear the slight sound of plastic hitting the floor. Jongwoon pushes back into Kyuhyun, and the familiar feel of it brings Kyuhyun to the brink of desperation.

The scrape of Jongwoon's teeth on Kyuhyun's bottom lip draws blood, and the metallic taste fills Kyuhyun's mouth. But he refuses to give in, to stop, because he needs this.

But Jongwoon pushes him away, and suddenly Kyuhyun sees Jongwoon's eyes flare up in anger.

"How dare you."

Before Kyuhyun can respond, Jongwoon walks away and wipes at his mouth. Kyuhyun attempts to collect his thoughts.

But the only thing that is coherent in his brain, the one thought that makes any sense to Kyuhyun, is the thought that he wants to make Jongwoon his. At any cost.

And Kyuhyun grins as he thinks about the many ways to conduct this hunt of his.

***

There is a full moon tonight.

Kyuhyun walks across their living room barefooted, hyper aware of the soft carpet underneath his feet. He makes his way outside Jongwoon's room, and slowly opens the door. There is a gap between the curtains of his room, and a streak of moonlight falls upon Jongwoon's sleeping figure.

Kyuhyun walks softly and slowly, almost as if he is a predator who has just set sights on his prey. He grins as he realizes Jongwoon isn't wearing anything under his blanket other than his boxers. He gently climbs on the bed, careful not to wake Jongwoon up.

Jongwoon rustles slightly when the bed dips as Kyuhyun gets on it. He maneuvers himself on top of Jongwoon, and slowly lowers himself down. He grins, grateful for all the times that his trainer made him practice pushups and develop a strong control over his upper body strength, and bares his teeth to slowly scrapes them across Jongwoon's chest. His cock twitches slightly as Jongwoon murmurs in his sleep using that deep husky voice that he loves so much.

Kyuhyun alternates between pressing kisses and dragging his teeth along Jongwoon's skin before he leans in and bites. Crimson red starts surfacing, and Kyuhyun uses his tongue to soothe the pierced skin. He watches Jongwoon's eyelids flutter and open slowly. A sweet drowsy smile appears on Jongwoon's face and it tugs at Kyuhyun's heart.

"I was hoping you'd come back."
"You’ve been driving me crazy."

Jongwoon places his lips on Kyuhyun's forehead, and interlocks their fingers. Warmth spreads throughout Kyuhyun's body, and the overwhelming need that he had just a second ago feels like it's slowly ebbing away.

Then Jongwoon lifts his hips just a little and grinds against Kyuhyun, and Kyuhyun can almost hear his heart pound against his chest.

"I love you."
"I know."
"It took me a while, I'm so sorry."
"It doesn't matter."
"I'm yours, Kim Jongwoon. And you're mine. You better not forget it."

Cries of desperation and short breathless pants rob both of them of the ability to talk more. And both of them know that there is plenty of time to talk when the sun rises.

It's a curse that falls on young lovers, lovers like him and Jongwoon. It had all started out so soft, so sweet. But somehow during the middle phases, things started to change and morph into something much darker and less innocent.

But as long as Jongwoon keeps making those sounds, those lovely deep husky sounds, Kyuhyun thinks that it doesn't matter as long as they are together.

The two of them keep their fingers interlocked until the dawn arrives.

***

The moon should be waning, should be becoming smaller and smaller as it becomes consumed by a new moon, but it doesn't. In fact, there have been people who argue that it looks bigger and brighter as the days go on.

A full moon decorates the skies every night, surrounded by specks of starlight. And two lovers love each other passionately, savoring each moment together, under the moonlight.

And in the far distance, you can almost hear the echoes of an animal as it howls into the night sky.

***

A/N: This was…a very surprising fic for me. Not that I don’t love it. But I tend to steer away from darker fics, and write cute cuddly fluffy fics where everyone is in love and they all live happily ever after and their relationships are the healthiest in the world. But yeah, I strongly recommend seeing a therapist for relationships such as the one in this fic.

The moon is used an extended metaphor in many, many ways in this fic. I know, I’m explaining it a bit too much, but I hope people don’t think about what it’s used for and then assume I’m just adding it in randomly. I tried with the literary aspect. I really did.

Happy Valentines Day! /gives you all my heart for reading this/

Comments will be appreciated :)

And many thanks to Naz for being an awesome beta! I know, my writing style is pretty abrupt and concise, but thanks for always being there and being supportive. You’re like my personal cheerleader.

p.s. The summary is a little sarcastic. I hope y’all pick up on that.

At First Sight

2012-12-31T10:37:14Z

Title: At First Sight
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing: YeKyu (Yesung x Kyuhyun)
Rating: G
Genre: Fluff, Romance
Summary: Three drabbles about how Jongwoon and Kyuhyun fall in love at first sight.

For rhenny happy birthday love! :)

When Kyuhyun opens his eyes in the morning at 7:30am, the first thing he does is pull on pair of jeans and a t-shirt. He brushes his teeth and washes his face, making sure that he’s presentable. He goes back to his room, makes sure that he has all the things he needs for school: books, homework and his pencil case. He grabs a jacket when his mother shouts from the kitchen that it will be cold.

At 7:50am, he runs out of his room and heads to the kitchen. He quickly packs his lunch into his bag, and eats the cereal that his mother already poured out for him. He finishes every last drop of milk in the bowl, and places the dirty dishes into the sink.

When he heads out the door at 8:04am, he quickly presses the button for the elevator and waits for it to arrive on his floor while he ties his shoelaces.

At exactly 8:05am, the elevator arrives at Kyuhyun’s floor. There’s usually no one inside, and Kyuhyun enjoys the descent down to the ground floor alone in silence. But since a week ago, a new boy has moved to their building, and Kyuhyun no longer has an empty elevator all to himself. When Kyuhyun first met the boy, he felt his eyes widen, and tried to stop himself from staring for too long. The boy, in Kyuhyun’s opinion, is gorgeous. He doesn’t know why, but Kyuhyun is convinced that he loves him. But Kyuhyun doesn’t know anything about him other than the fact that he goes on the elevator everyday at 8:05am.

Kyuhyun trips over his own feet as he enters the elevator. The boy shifts a little to make space for Kyuhyun. It isn’t until they reach the ground floor that the other boy suddenly speaks up for the first time and stops Kyuhyun by putting a hand on Kyuhyun’s shoulder.

“Hi. My name is Kim Jongwoon. What’s your name?”

Kyuhyun feels his heart beat a tad bit faster. The boy has a gorgeous voice, and it sends shivers down Kyuhyun’s spine.

“Kyuhyun. Cho Kyuhyun.”

“That’s a lovely name. I’m so glad I met you, Kyuhyun-sshi. I hope we can become good friends.”

The grin on Jongwoon’s face almost blinds Kyuhyun.

………

Ten years later, Kyuhyun still follows pretty much the same routine even though he wakes up at different times. On this particular day, he opens his eyes at exactly 7:00am. He heads to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face, applying a thin layer of BB cream to cover all the blemishes. He heads back to his room to put on something nice: a blue shirt and black skinny jeans. He pulls a stripy sweater over his shirt. He grabs an extra jacket from his wardrobe when Ryeowook yells from the living room that the weather report says that it will snow on New Year’s Eve.

At 7:45am, he heads to the kitchen. Ryeowook left egg sandwiches on the counter, so Kyuhyun grabs two and quickly eats them. He pours himself a cup of coffee, and drinks the whole mug. Kyuhyun feels a lot more awake, and leaves the mug in the sink.

When he finally heads out the door, it is already 8:00am. He presses the button for the elevator, and leans down to tie his shoes. He hears the door behind him open and shut, and two hands cover his eyes. Kyuhyun grins, and pulls the hands off his face, and keeps a hold of the hands. He turns around and is blinded again by Jongwoon’s grin.

“I can’t believe you left without waiting for me. We always take the elevator together.”

“You were being slow.”

“But we’ve been taking the elevator together every morning for ten years now. You know, ever since you fell in love with me at first sight.”

Kyuhyun grins and quickly pecks Jongwoon’s lips to shut him up.

At 8:01am, the elevator reaches Kyuhyun and Jongwoon’s floor. Their fingers are interlocked as they enjoy their descent down to the ground floor.

.:..:..:.

Jongwoon’s first venture onto the subway is quite an eventful one. He somehow finds himself lost on the light green line when he wanted to get off at Chungdam Station. He missed Daerim Station, and the opportunity to switch from the light green line to the dark green line, and now he finds himself getting off at Mullae Station instead.

He walks onto the platform and sighs at his bad luck. He looks at his watch. 1:42pm. He is going to be late for his audition at 2:30pm if he keeps this up. His mother had told him repeatedly not to miss this, and the thought of his mother’s wrath when he tells her he accidentally got lost and missed it makes him cringe in horror.

A breeze blows past, and a piece of paper lands at his feet. He picks it up as a young man comes running by, panting.

“Hi. Sorry. Thank you.”

Jongwoon raises an eyebrow, and stares at the young man standing in front of him. Jongwoon likes the sound, the timbre, of the young man’s voice. Being as interested in music as Jongwoon is, it was these kinds of things that snatched his attention first. He then realizes that he’s staring, and he quickly looks down before the young man thinks that he’s creepy and awkward. Something about the young man captivates Jongwoon, and he wonders if it’s possible to fall in love at first sight. He looks at the paper in his hand, and realizes that it’s sheet music. The name Cho Kyuhyun is scribbled in the corner.

“Cho…Kyuhyun?”

“Yep, that’s me. Sorry. Thank you for picking this up.”

Jongwoon smiles as he hands the music back to Kyuhyun. Their fingers brush slightly, and a jolt of electricity passes through Jongwoon’s body. He stares at Kyuhyun, and Kyuhyun is staring right back at him. Neither of them let go of the manuscript of music. Time feels as if it reaches a standstill.

The announcer states that the train that is heading towards Darim Station is arriving, and Jongwoon suddenly realizes that this is his cue to leave. He keeps a firm grip on the paper as he uses his other hand to take out a pen from his pocket. He quickly jots down his cell phone number on the corner, underneath Kyuhyun’s messy scrawl. Kyuhyun is watching, silently.

The train arrives at the station, and Jongwoon lets go of the paper.

“Call me, Cho Kyuhyun. I really like your voice.”

Jongwoon turns around before he can feel embarrassed by his words, and heads onto the train. Once he’s on, he looks through the window and sees Kyuhyun stare at his number with a small smile on his face. Kyuhyun looks up and meets Jongwoon’s gaze, and Jongwoon can feel his heart beat a tad bit faster when Kyuhyun gives him a bright smile and gestures that he will definitely call Jongwoon later.

It is the first time that Jongwoon starts to believe in destiny. The next time that Jongwoon will believe in destiny is when Cho Kyuhyun walks through the doors of Super Junior’s practice room, and is introduced as Super Junior’s newest member.

.:..:..:.

The first time Kyuhyun saw Jongwoon waiting outside their school, he wondered if Jongwoon is waiting for him. After all, he looked like what Kyuhyun imagined his ideal lover to look like – he wasn’t too tall, but he wasn’t too short either, and he had a special sparkle when he smiled. His hair was messy, and Kyuhyun liked the fact that he was effortlessly handsome. But most of all, there was something special about him that just drew Kyuhyun in.

Kyuhyun just wanted to wrap himself up in Jongwoon’s arms and never let go.

Kyuhyun watched as Kim Jongjin walked over to Jongwoon, and a wave of jealousy and possessiveness washed over him when Jongwoon put an arm around Jongjin’s shoulders. He knew that what he felt for Kim Jongjin’s brother was twisted and wrong, but he couldn’t help himself. He had fallen in love with Kim Jongwoon at first sight.

So Kyuhyun had run out of class as early as he could every afternoon to just watch Kim Jongwoon from afar. Sometimes Kyuhyun would be on the roof and watch Jongwoon as he waited for Jongjin. Sometimes Kyuhyun would find a spot that is close to Jongwoon so that he could hear Jongwoon sing and hum to himself. Kyuhyun tried not to question how odd it was that he was so obsessed with someone he barely knew, and he wondered how disgusted Jongwoon would be if he found out.

One afternoon, Jongwoon was nowhere to be found when Kyuhyun looked at the spot next to the gate where Jongwoon normally waits. Kyuhyun ran down, but ended up bumping into Jongwoon. Kyuhyun sent Jongwoon crashing to the floor and ended up landing on him.

“I’m…so sorry!” Kyuhyun stuttered, struggling to find the right words to say to Jongwoon. Jongwoon smiled kindly as he looked into Kyuhyun’s eyes.

“It’s okay. Are you hurt?”

Kyuhyun shook his head, and was about to get up when Jongwoon pulled him back down.

“Well, this certainly wasn’t the way I envisioned our first meeting. I’m Kim Jongwoon by the way.”

“I’m Cho Kyuhyun.”

“I know.”

Kyuhyun stared at the flawless man that was lying on the floor under him. He wondered what Jongwoon meant about envisioning a meeting between them and wondered how he knew his name already. Suddenly Jongwoon grimaced, and Kyuhyun’s eyes widened with worry. Kyuhyun quickly pulled Jongwoon up, and started to poke and prod him to make sure that he didn’t break any bones. When they were standing face to face and Kyuhyun was checking to see if Jongwoon had a concussion, Jongwoon quickly stole a kiss from Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun froze, and felt his heart pound so quickly that he wouldn’t have been surprised if they could hear his heartbeat all the way up on the fourth floor.

“I fell in love with you at first sight Cho Kyuhyun. That’s why I’ve suddenly been so enthusiastic about picking my brother up lately...uhm, will you go on a date with me?”

Jongwoon planted another kiss on Kyuhyun’s mouth when Kyuhyun nodded in response.

.:..:..:.

A/N; Happy birthday Rhen! I hope you have a lovely 18th, and may 2013 be even better than 2012 for you :) It's been a while since I've written pure fluff, so I hope you like these :) I know Jongwoon seems a little OOC for the last one, since he's a little aggressive in love haha. But yeah! Have a beautiful birthday, and I hope you have a great new year's eve too! And you already know how much I love you :)

Happy new year everyone! Hope you are all off to a great start for 2013! <3
/sends out lots of love/

Under the Blue Umbrella

2012-12-31T05:02:36Z

Title: Under the Blue Umbrella
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing: HyukChul (Eunhyuk x Heechul)
Rating:PG-13 (language, mild sexual content?)
Genres: Romance, Angst
Summary: Heechul gave up waiting for him a long time ago. But somehow the person Heechul waited for turns out to have been by his side all along.

For phoenix_soar. Not entirely sure why.

Heechul finds cover outside a store and watches the snow land gently on the ground. He brings his hands to his mouth and breathes on them, warming them up. The streets of Myeongdong are brightly lit with Christmas lights and decorations. He watches as couples walk hand in hand down the street and men carry bouquets of flowers. Children are running around in circles around their parents as they head to fancy restaurants for dinner.

Christmas Eve is busier than any other night. And Heechul wonders why the whole world is moving so hastily while he’s standing still.

He adjusts his beanie slightly, and wraps his scarf around his neck a little tighter. The winter breeze is chilly, and the last thing Heechul needs is to get a cold.

Heechul is waiting. He has been waiting for months. He has been standing on this street at this exact spot every night at the same time. And he waits for the guy with the umbrella to appear once again. It is strange that Heechul developed such an unhealthy obsession with someone, let alone someone he does not really remember.

He had been drunk that night. So drunk he could barely stand up straight. And then it had started raining, droplets falling down to the ground heavily. He was kneeling on the ground while the earth felt like it was tilted on it’s axis when suddenly the rain stopped hitting his body. A hand reached out and grabbed his arm, and helped him get up. Through his drunken haze, he had noticed that the guy he was being helped by was wearing loose fitting clothes, but was skinny in stature. He had leaned on the other guy’s shoulder. He caught the faint whiff of soap through the smell of alcohol on himself, and he wanted to wrap himself up in the scent.

“Please let me be like this for a little bit, my head hurts too much. Thank you very much, you kind soul.”

If the guy with the umbrella had said anything, Heechul couldn’t hear him. He had enjoyed the warmth and the soothing presence, but the next thing he knew was that the man with the umbrella had brought him over to the sidewalk and stopped a cab. The man helped him get into the cab, and Heechul remembers how he asked the cab driver to take extra care of him as well as slip the driver enough money to drive Heechul home. He had also given Heechul his umbrella so that he could stay dry. And Heechul had woken up the next day at the doorstep of his home with a horrible hangover, gripping the blue umbrella as if his life depended on it.

The umbrella felt much too big without the guy beside him when Heechul used it again in the rain. It was a fleeting moment of sharing the umbrella, but somehow Heechul felt empty even though they only brushed shoulders for a second.

Heechul hates the feeling of owing anything to anyone, so for the past few weeks he has been standing stupidly on this street with the money in his pocket and umbrella in his hand, waiting. He can’t remember ever waiting as patiently as he is now, with so much determination. But he convinces himself that it is only right to return the money to the Good Samaritan who had helped him that day

He doesn’t want to admit that he wants to see the guy with the umbrella again. But he knows that deep down, returning the money and umbrella is just an excuse.

It is Christmas Eve. Heechul, despite the cynic that he is, still thinks that somehow he will bump into the guy who gave him the umbrella because it’s supposed to be a night when wishes come true. But after an hour of standing in the cold and watching people closely, Heechul comes to the conclusion that he’s officially crazy, or rather even crazier than before. He looks around one last time before sighing and giving up.

Fate? Destiny? Heechul laughs at the thought that he was crazy enough to hope for a split second that they existed, and that they would lead his mystery guy right into his arms. He opens up the umbrella to shield himself from the snow, and leaves the street to head back home.

………

Five years have passed since. Heechul is running around the dorms trying to catch Hyukjae to plant a kiss on his face. Hyukjae dodges as best he can, and runs towards his own room and locks the door. Heechul smirks as he knocks on the door.

“Hyukkie! Come out, come here!”

“Go away!”

“I need to thank you for this beautiful present you gave me.”

“I gave you that present so that you would stop asking me to kiss you for Christmas! Stop bothering me.”

“But I’m so bored, all alone on the twelfth floor.”

“Your whining will not change my mind. Now leave me alone! Go find someone else to pester.”

Heechul laughs and leaves Hyukjae in peace for now. He heads back to the twelfth floor and is welcomed home by silence. All his flat mates have headed out to schedules. He kicks open his own bedroom door and flops onto his bed. He looks at the present in his hands, and a smile breaks out on his face. He slowly takes apart the wrapping paper, wondering what Hyukjae could have possibly gotten him.

His fascination with Hyukjae had started the day he met the boy. The faint smell of soap that lingered on his skin had drawn Heechul in, reminding him of the stranger who had given him the blue umbrella. But then Hyukjae had started dancing, and Heechul forgot about the other guy that had always remained in the back of his head. By the end of the practice session, the smell of sweat reeked in the room, and Heechul had forgotten all the parallels between the two.

It is probably due to opposites attracting, and Heechul thinks that you couldn’t find anyone more opposite to each other than Hyukjae and himself. While he is loud, Hyukjae could be so quiet at times that you wondered if he is actually the same person that you see on television shows. While Hyukjae dances exceptionally, Heechul skips practices and finds it hard to remember where he’s supposed to be and what he’s supposed to do. And while Heechul has a temper, Hyukjae is patient and understanding.

Sometimes Heechul wonders what Hyukjae’s limit is. That is probably why he continuously teases him and irritates him. Sometimes he wants to know what would actually spark a response other than the gummy smile. For someone like Heechul, he finds it impossible for someone to be so good-natured. He even went told the public that he thought Hyukjae was stupid due to his easy-going personality, but when it was broadcasted, Hyukjae had just given him that adorable smile and congratulated him on having so much airtime. Heechul found himself being reassured by Hyukjae, who knew apparently that Heechul didn’t really think that. Heechul had laughed and told him that he was being sincere, and all Hyukjae had done was laugh. Nothing that Heechul did had made Hyukjae angry.

So Heechul had kissed Hyukjae one day when he was watching television. It was casual – just a sweet peck on the lips, but Hyukjae’s eyes had widened and he had raised his voice at Heechul for the first time after being frozen for ten seconds.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

Hyukjae had walked into his room and slammed the door, and Heechul had grinned. He had finally gotten the reaction he wanted. Which leads to now – Hyukjae avoids Heechul at every chance he gets, and Heechul sexually harasses Hyukjae whenever he can. It fascinates Heechul when the normally smiling Hyukjae has a dark expression on his face when Heechul corners him and invades his personal space. And how there’s a hitch in Hyukjae’s breath when Heechul trails his hand along Hyukjae’s thigh. Or when Hyukjae tenses whenever Heechul whispers into his ear, making sure his breath would tickle Hyukjae’s ear. Hyukjae runs whenever Heechul is within two meters of him, and Heechul tries to chase him.

But lately, sometimes when Hyukjae is in a good mood, he would let Heechul catch him. And pretend that he hates Heechul’s roaming hands, but Heechul sees how Hyukjae’s pupils dilate. And how the corners of his mouth lift slightly when he’s yelling at Heechul.

He tosses the wrapping paper, all fifty or so penguins and their Santa hats, onto the floor. He opens the cardboard box with anticipation, wondering what could possibly fit in such a long and thin box. He is dumbfounded at the sight of his umbrella. But it is only when he opens it up in his room that he notices subtle differences – this umbrella is obviously new and unused. The umbrella Heechul has been using for five years now has been so worn down that the blue is starting to fade and become pale. The new umbrella is also missing a dent that Heechul is used to seeing.

He wonders why Hyukjae has given him an umbrella – is it because he’s seen how worn Heechul’s is? Maybe he’s seen how much Heechul treasures his umbrella, and wants to give him a new one. Maybe it’s because he was walking by a store and just so happened to see one on sale. But the similarity between Heechul’s old umbrella and this new one is uncanny, and Heechul frowns at the thought that it’s just a coincidence.

Heechul suddenly notices that there is something else in the box. He picks up a photo and stares at it. He sees the image of himself holding his blue umbrella in the snow from afar on the streets of Myeongdong decorated in Christmas decorations. Heechul feels his anger bubbling up as he notices the clothes that he’s wearing and realizes that it is from at least five years ago. He turns over the photo and notices Hyukjae’s messy scrawl.

You never recognized me even though you waited.

Heechul lets out a breath and tries to calm himself down. He throws the umbrella onto the floor and crumples the photo up. He can’t trust himself to talk to Hyukjae just yet about the contents of his present, so instead he curls up in his blanket and goes to sleep.

………

Heechul wakes up with a headache, but he soon realizes that he’s not alone under the covers. The faint smell of soap hits Heechul, and he realizes that Hyukjae is curled up behind him. Heechul turns around and stares at Hyukjae’s face. His eyes are red and slightly swollen, but Heechul thinks that he’s beautiful all the same. Even though he teases Hyukjae continuously and calls Hyukjae ugly, he has never truly meant it before. Heechul raises his hand to Hyukjae’s face, tracing the features of Hyukjae’s face from a distance as he feels his heart break. Heechul notices the crumpled photo in Hyukjae’s hand, and the feeling of betrayal washes over him all over again. He closes his eyes and wishes that he could turn back time, wishes that he never received the present from Hyukjae, wishes that Hyukjae and the guy who had given him the umbrella are not the same person. Wishes that Hyukjae had just come out and talked to him instead of staying hidden and watched him day after day wait pointlessly for Hyukjae to appear.

As Heechul gets up, Hyukjae stirs and realizes that Heechul’s awake.

“I’m sorry. I thought…I thought you would be happy when you found out that I was the one who helped you all those years ago. I’m sorry. I was planning on waking up before you and sneaking out. I’m sorry. I’ll leave now.”

Heechul keeps quiet as Hyukjae walks out of Heechul’s room.

He doesn’t know who he’s more disappointed in – Hyukjae for not fighting for him and just accepting the fact that Heechul is hurt, or himself for not saying anything at all and letting Hyukjae just leave.

………

Hyukjae avoids Heechul like the plague. Not that Heechul minds it – in fact, he’s thankful for the first time that Hyukjae lives on a different floor and has different schedules. But he still feels a pang in his heart whenever he sees Hyukjae smiling brightly on television, or sounding bright and perky on radio shows. It’s strange how they can be part of the same group but barely see each other.

When they record things together, both of them act like nothing happened. They smile, they laugh and they bicker. Hyukjae laughs about Heechul’s selfish nature, and Heechul laughs about how ugly Hyukjae is. Nothing seems to be amiss. But it’s the tension and the silence that greets them once cameras are off that remind Heechul how everything has changed and nothing is the same anymore. Hyukjae clings to Donghae and Jungsu, and Heechul clings to no one.

………

It takes Heechul a month before he is willing to admit to himself that he’s miserable. It didn’t help that Han Geng is off fighting his own battles in China, so Heechul doesn’t even have a close friend who could tell him to do the right thing. Heechul is depressed, and he doesn’t know what to do about it. So he heads towards the closest bar and drinks to his heart’s content.

He drinks to forget all the netizens who tell him he doesn’t deserve to be in Super Junior. He drinks to forget how miserable he is even though he’s technically achieved his dreams and become famous. And most importantly, he drinks to forget Hyukjae.

He drinks to forget Hyukjae’s gummy smile, the one that never fails to make his day a little brighter. He drinks to forget the image of Hyukjae and Donghae laughing so happily, a reminder that Heechul is the only one suffering from the silence between them. He drinks to forget Hyukjae and the stupid blue umbrella, the one he can’t seem to throw away and ends up bringing with him wherever he goes.

Heechul tries to tell the bartender about his problems – after all, that’s what bartenders are for, right? To listen to the customer’s problems while preparing more drinks to take the money out of the customer’s pockets? But for some reason, this bartender is busy flirting with the girl a few stools down, and Heechul is all alone again. Maybe this is the bartender’s strategy – to make the customer feel so alone that he drinks even more.

Heechul thinks that the faint smell of soap must be an illusion. He’s so drunk that he conjures up the image of Hyukjae next to him. He presses Hyukjae against the closest wall and nuzzles his neck despite imaginary Hyukjae’s protests. He scrapes his teeth gently on Hyukjae’s collarbone, and presses sweet kisses. The sounds that Hyukjae make shoot straight to his loins, and he wonders how drunk he actually is. It takes a while before he feels his legs go weak, and Hyukjae stops him from nuzzling against Hyukjae’s lower half.

Heechul must be dreaming, because Hyukjae takes the umbrella from his hand and opens it up, shielding them both from the snow. This time, Heechul recognizes Hyukjae’s face and the features he’s come to love so much.

Heechul knows he’s dreaming, because when Hyukjae waves down a taxi, he gets in together with Heechul and tells the taxi driver their address. And Heechul passes out with a smile on his face.

………

Heechul wakes up with a massive hangover. The sunlight that shines upon him through the curtain puts him in a foul mood, and Heechul thinks about how much he hates his life. It felt as if the world was working against him. Wisps of his dream from last night come back to him, and he feels irritated at how he succumbs so easily to his desires.

Ryeowook knocks on his door before inviting himself in, holding a bowl of soup that smells like the most delicious thing in the world.

“How are you feeling?”
“Like crap.”

“Thought so. Hyukjae told me to make you some soup, said you probably would feel terrible after all that alcohol last night.”

“Ugh.”

Ryeowook sets the soup down on Heechul’s dresser. He is about to leave before Heechul processes what Ryeowook just said.

“Wait, what? Lee Hyukjae?”

“Yeah, you called him when you were drunk and he went to go pick you up. Do you want me to get him to come upstairs? He doesn’t have a schedule right now.”

“No! I mean, I’m okay. I don’t want to trouble him anymore.”

“You do know he’s miserable because you won’t talk to him, right? He loves you. It’s driving all of us nuts. You’re all he talks about. Think about that. You’re not the only one suffering.”

Ryeowook shakes his head and leaves. Heechul winces slightly at the glare that Ryeowook shot him before he had left. They say that Heechul has quite a formidable glare, but he thinks that it’s nothing compared to Ryeowook’s when he’s mad.

Heechul sips the soup, enjoying the feeling of it running down his throat, while he thinks about what Ryeowook has said. He doesn’t think he can forgive Hyukjae so easily for what has happened – he waited for months but he never appeared. And yet Hyukjae kept his identity secret from Heechul. It hurt to know that he was waiting and Hyukjae was watching him wait rather than appearing.

………

It is rare for Hyukjae to sound so determined about something, so Heechul couldn’t say no when Hyukjae demanded that they needed to talk. Heechul puts on the cool, aloof image of not caring, smirks and says sure. Hyukjae drags Heechul away from the other members, grabbing the blue umbrella on their way out. It is dark and cold outside, but they stand outside on the street while the cars drive past.

Hyukjae lets out a breath of relief and Heechul crosses his arms and waits. Hyukjae licks his lips, and Heechul can’t help but be drawn towards Hyukjae’s mouth. He wonders for a moment if it’s on purpose – is Hyukjae trying to get Heechul to lower his guard by tempting him? But Heechul remembers how simple-minded Hyukjae is and shakes the thought off. He takes a deep breath and ignores the urge to go over and kiss Hyukjae.

“So…about the other night.”

“I heard that you brought me back to the dorm. Thank you.”

“Yeah.”

An awkward silence creeps up over them. Suddenly it hits Heechul – how much of his dream was actually a dream? He runs his hand through his hair, and winces at the memory of all the kisses and caresses.

“Did you mean it? What you said the other night? I know you were drunk and all, but I wanted to know.” Hyukjae interrupts Heechul just as he is about to apologize. Heechul freezes, and stares at Hyukjae. He doesn’t remember saying anything to him, and he wonders what Hyukjae is referring to.

“I don’t remember much from that night…I was piss drunk. What did I say?”

Hyukjae looks crestfallen, and Heechul wonders how things have become so complicated between them. He misses the old days when they could speak to each other without any worries and restraints.

When Hyukjae speaks again, Heechul almost misses the words as Hyukjae just mutters it under his breath.

“You said that you love me.”

When Heechul doesn’t respond, Hyukjae looks up at him with teary eyes. Heechul finds his resolve to torture Hyukjae crumbling, and he wonders why he’s doing this to both of them.

“What about you? Is what Ryeowook told me true? Do you love me?”

“Ugh Ryeowook, that little devil. Yes, I love you. I have always loved you. I fell in love with you when I saw you drunk on the streets. But you…look like you. And I look…like me. So I never had to courage to approach you even though I saw you wait. I thought that you were probably waiting for someone who looked…like Siwon. So when you didn’t recognize me when we met again, I thought maybe it was better that way.”

“Why bring it up now?”

“With all the teasing lately, I thought that you…might feel the same way as I feel about you. That maybe you would be happy to know that it was me…all those years ago now. At first, I thought you were just playing with me, and that I was just another member that you’ve kissed. But you kept on chasing after me, and I thought that you might just like me a little more than you like the other members, and-”

Heechul shuts Hyukjae up by pecking his lips. Hyukjae freezes, and stares at Heechul with widened eyes before he smiles brightly and Heechul is given a glimpse at Hyukjae’s gums. Heechul tries not to smile and attempts to give Hyukjae a glare.

“This doesn’t mean I forgive you completely. I don’t think I’ve ever waited for someone as much as I’ve waited for you.”

“I know, I’m sorry!”

“So you better get prepared to wait for me.”

“Absolutely. Anything for you to forgive me.”

Heechul gives Hyukjae a knowing smirk, and Hyukjae suddenly pales as he realizes the amount of torment he will receive from Heechul. But then Heechul’s arms wrap themselves around Hyukjae, and Hyukjae burrows his head into Heechul’s shoulder.

“Hyukjae?”

“Hm?”

“You’re an idiot if you actually thought you aren’t good enough for me. I can’t believe you made me wait because you have self-esteem issues.”

“What-”

“I love you. Don’t forget that.”

It starts snowing. Neither of them moves from their spot, and Hyukjae opens up the blue umbrella and holds it above their heads to stop the snow from landing on them.

………

A/N: Yup. For phoenix_soar. I'm still not entirely sure why, since I missed your birthday and you apparently don’t celebrate Christmas either. New Year’s present? I don’t know hahaha. But yeah, bb. I hope you like it ^^ /awkward/ Oh, and you totally guessed right heh :P

I was totally having an identity crisis writing a different SJ couple, so I hope it doesn’t read as YeKyu in the guise of HyukChul LOL. Yeah. I don’t know.

Comments will be appreciated? (:

Happy New Year my loves! Hope 2013 will be even better than 2012.

Waters of Lethe

2012-12-24T02:28:51Z

Title: Waters of Lethe (2/2)
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing: YeKyu (Yesung x Kyuhyun)
Genre: Romance, Fantasy, Angst
Rating: PG
Summary: Kyuhyun spends all his life searching for Jongwoon because Kyuhyun remembers everything and Jongwoon remembers nothing at all

Hold me tightly in your arms

Keep me from wandering

And I won’t stray anymore.

.:..:..:..:..:.

For as long as Jongwoon can remember, he has always been plagued with dreams.

They would come to him in bits and pieces ever since he was still a little boy, fragments of lives that he has never lived. At first he had thought that they were memories, but soon he realized how it wasn’t possible. It didn’t make sense that he would "remember" when he met a beautiful boy with gorgeous blonde hair and the most beautiful brown eyes he had ever seen where there weren’t any foreigners to be seen in Kangwon. Or that he would "remember" studying hard to become a doctor, when he had no desire what so ever to go into the field of medicine.

So he simply dismissed them as dreams of a young boy. Dreams of lives that he wished he lived. Dreams of lives he would never live. After all, all he wanted was to support his family and help them lead a better life. All Jongwoon wanted was to be able to earn money, and give back to the parents that sacrificed so much to give both him and his brother an education.

To support his mother, who went against his wishes (and his father’s wishes) and enrolled him in an audition, because she thought that he deserved a chance at sharing his voice with the world, and to achieve his dreams.

Jongwoon didn’t know he wanted to become famous, to become a singer.

But his mother knew before he even realized it was what he wanted. Mothers always knew.

So when he was accepted into an entertainment agency, he swore that he would become famous and earn lots of money. To give back to his family to support them and help them lead a better life. It was the least that he could do after all that they had done for him.

The one dream of his that mattered was going to become accomplished. The rest – the fragments – soon became forgotten. Except for the pair of hauntingly beautiful eyes that would appear in his dreams from time to time, refusing to fade away.

.:..:..:..:..:.

It had been years since Jongwoon had a dream so vivid that he woke up disoriented when he suddenly woke up unsure of who he is in the middle of the night. His head ached, and he reached over to grab his water bottle.

“I love you.”

Three words echoed around in his head, and a pair of eyes that seemed familiar was etched onto his brain. Jongwoon frowned as he tried to remember the contents of the dream.

Everything had seemed bright and white and floral. A girl in a lengthy white dress stood in front of him. She was young and beautiful, but Jongwoon had only focused on the eyes. Hazelnut eyes.

“Aren’t we lucky that things worked out this lifetime?”

He had felt warmth in his hands as he held onto hers, and he had leaned in to give her a kiss.

The surging happiness that filled his heart filled Jongwoon, and suddenly his head starts to throb again. His heart feels a pang, and he wondered why he suddenly had such a dream. He starts to think back to his day and can’t think of any stimulus that would have caused it. It had been an ordinary day, and all he had done was go to training and then head back home. He had felt light-headed when he had gotten off at his stop off the subway, but that had nothing to do with marriage or with this feeling of happiness. It had only been a state of confusion.

Jongwoon lay down again once the headache subsided, and stared at the ceiling for a long time before finally falling into a dreamless sleep.

.:..:..:..:..:.

The dreams continued since that random day when he woke up from marriage. But strangely they had gradually become longer and more detailed, causing Jongwoon to remember some of the fragments of dreams from his childhood. The dreams that he had once dismissed and buried had started to emerge once again.

A few recent dreams had seemed to be extensions of his old dreams, completing some of the stories and providing more details. That one time when he bumped into a handsome young man called Jean-Pierre on the streets of Paris turned out to be the third time Jongwoon met him. Or that his first meeting with Maria was in the amusement park, and it had been love at first sight for both of them. And he had grown up as childhood sweethearts with Dong, who eventually became his husband.

It was crazy, and Jongwoon knew that it was abnormal that he remembered so much in such detail. But Jongwoon thought nothing more of it, and dismissed it as a side effect of the stress from work, and the incredible amount of pressure due to the upcoming debut.

.:..:..:..:..:.

When the news that a thirteenth member would be added, Jongwoon had opposed it strongly. He was determined to hate whoever management had deemed talented enough to join them – after all, what could this Cho Kyuhyun possibly have that the twelve of them didn’t have already? After all the effort that they had put into the debut, and garnering enough attention to convince the company that they needed to stay, here was a nobody who would just ride on their coattails.

So when Jungsu had announced that he was going to take a look at the new member, Jongwoon had followed along due to his curiosity. He wanted to see this special trainee who was allowed to join a group that had already debuted. He had been expecting a handsome, super talented boy who radiated the feeling of being special and superior. But when he saw Cho Kyuhyun that very first time in the dance studio drowned in his own sweat, he furrowed his brows and wondered what was special about him. He looked very ordinary to Jongwoon, and Jongwoon couldn’t understand the logic behind his addition.

But then their eyes met, and Jongwoon felt the world around them freeze. There was something familiar about those eyes, but Jongwoon couldn’t pinpoint where he had seen or felt that gaze before. Cho Kyuhyun smiled at him brightly, and Jongwoon thought that Kyuhyun was cute for the first time. Then he quickly shook the thought off, and chastised himself in his head, reminding himself that this was the competition.

The new member kept his eyes on Jongwoon the whole time, even when the others were talking to him, and it made Jongwoon nervous. He admitted that Cho Kyuhyun was charismatic and charming, and was bound to garner a lot of attention. The hearts of fangirls were fickle, and he could easily imagine teenage girls swooning over Kyuhyun and his breath-taking gaze.

As they left for one of their schedules, Jongwoon glanced back at Kyuhyun once more. He has resumed dance practice, and Jongwoon snickered at the awkward movements. He wasn’t as good as dancing as Hyukjae, he can’t possibly be more talkative than Jungsu. Even if his voice is beautiful, there was no way he could hit notes that neither Jongwoon nor Ryeowook could.

Jongwoon left the dance studio convinced that Kyuhyun’s addition was a useless one. But that night, Kyuhyun’s eyes came back to haunt him in his dreams.

.:..:..:..:..:.

Jongwoon woke up in the middle of the night with tears streaming down his face. He lifted his fingers up to his cheek and wiped away the wet droplets, trying to remember why he was crying.

War. Bloodshed. A whispered apology.

I’m sorry. I’ll find you during our next lifetime. Promise I’ll make it work no matter what.

And then the image of a bullet headed straight towards him.

Jongwoon rubbed his temples as he tried to remember why he might have had the dream. He hadn’t been watching any war movies lately, and lately there hadn’t been any conversation about anything that would have triggered such a dream. He found his eyes unconsciously move towards the sleeping boy on the air mattress on the floor of his room.

I’ll find you during our next lifetime.

Jongwoon shook his head, convinced that he was going crazy. It wasn’t possible that he could remember his dream in such clarity that he could tell that the voice in his head sounded exactly the same as Kyuhyun’s voice. He shut his eyes, trying to erase the horrific images of his companions being ruthlessly shot down, and tried to soothe himself to go back to sleep for the sake of being refreshed and energetic for their early schedule the next morning.

The sound of Kyuhyun’s breathing soon lulled him into a dreamless sleep.

.:..:..:..:..:.

Kyuhyun had been roommates with Jongwoon for a month when Jongwoon came to the conclusion that Kyuhyun has masochistic tendencies. Jongwoon tried his best to ignore the boy – after all, he is the competition; he came here to compete with Jongwoon. The scary thing about SM and Super Junior is that you never know when they might decide to replace you. Jongwoon isn’t popular, and he could easily disappear from the entertainment business when management deems that he is no longer an asset.

But even though Jongwoon was horrible to Kyuhyun, Kyuhyun kept telling Jongwoon that he loves and admires him and tried to spoil the older vocalist at every chance he got. He bought Jongwoon’s favorite snacks, gave him warm honey and lemon water when his voice showed signs of becoming sore and he stopped Jongwoon from biting his nails. The colder Jongwoon was towards Kyuhyun, the more Kyuhyun tried to cling onto him.

“Hyung, can’t you be a little nicer to him? He really wants you to like him you know…”

Ryeowook’s constant nagging doesn’t make Jongwoon any nicer though. After all, Jongwoon knew that if he let his guard down around Kyuhyun, he would crumble completely and let the boy in. The walls Jongwoon had built already started to falter a little bit, and he didn’t want it to break down any more.

So Jongwoon continued to be mean to Kyuhyun, and Kyuhyun continued to try and wedge his way into Jongwoon’s heart.

.:..:..:..:..:.

The dreams continued, and they took Jongwoon on an emotional rollercoaster. At times he would wake so happy his face hurt from all the smiling, and at other times he would wake up in cold sweat with fear passing through his whole body. There were times when he would wake up and no longer remember where he was or who he was.

Jongwoon soon hated sleeping.

He hated the fact that he would be carried away by these dreams, and he hated how he seemed to have no control over his subconscious. They even started to interfere with his daily life – they soon started to infiltrate his mind even when he was awake. Jongwoon wondered if being constantly under the spotlight was too much pressure for him to handle, if it was due to all the stress of being a celebrity.

He was sitting on his bed while staring into nothing, wondering why Michael had looked at him with such hurt in his eyes when he didn’t recognize him at the king’s court, when Kyuhyun walked in.

“Hyung? What are you doing?”

“Do you think it’s weird to be obsessing over people in your dreams?”

“What do you mean?”

Jongwoon wondered why he even bothered to tell Kyuhyun, but Kyuhyun’s ears seemed to perk up and he seemed interested in what Jongwoon had to say. If Jongwoon didn’t know any better, he would’ve thought that Kyuhyun looked hopeful.

“I…have these dreams, and I don’t know why but I can’t forget them. They’re so detailed and part of me feels like they’re somehow real. Sounds silly right? I don’t even know why I told you this. I think I’m just stressed.”

Jongwoon let out an exasperated sigh and lay down on his bed, missing the disappointed look on Kyuhyun’s face.

.:..:..:..:..:.

It wasn’t until Kyuhyun moved out of Jongwoon’s room that Jongwoon realized how much the younger member grew on him during their time as roommates. He actually missed having Kyuhyun around, and found himself increasingly jealous of the obvious brotherly love that was developing between Kyuhyun and Sungmin.

It was illogical, but part of him felt betrayed. It felt like Kyuhyun had replaced him with Sungmin, and it didn’t sit well with Jongwoon at all.

When Jongwoon woke up from another one of his dreams and couldn’t go back to sleep, he realized how soothing Kyuhyun’s presence in the room had been. There was something almost familiar about his presence, and it would keep him grounded and remind him of where he is when he woke up.

Something in him made him want to be together with Kyuhyun. And no matter how he fought it, that overwhelming feeling of affection would just come back doubled.

So when Jongwoon wandered into the living room after he decided that sleep had abandoned him, he instinctively went to wrap his arms around Kyuhyun when he saw Kyuhyun crying on the sofa. He used his thumb to gently wipe off the tears from Kyuhyun’s face and hugged him.

“What’s wrong?”

Kyuhyun pressed his face into Jongwoon. Kyuhyun mumbled an answer, and his lips tickled the base of Jongwoon’s neck.

“Why do you never remember?”

Jongwoon felt his heart break, and suddenly he started to feel nauseous. Voices fill his head, some male some female, some older and some younger.

I finally found you! How could you be hiding here all along?

Don’t you remember who I am?

I told you not to drink the water but you drank it again, didn’t you?

Why do you never remember?

Why do you always drink that stupid water?

You still don’t remember me even though you’ve known me for more than ten years already?

You’re already married? Why do you never wait for me?

Why am I the only one who ever suffers?

Can you give me less heartache?

The voices in Jongwoon’s head made him want to scream. Tears rolled down his eyes as they gave him a headache, the onslaught of resentful questions felt too much to bear. Each word pricked his brain. The thought that “it shouldn’t be this painful, it never is this painful to remember” struck him before he gave in to unconsciousness.

.:..:..:..:..:.

When Jongwoon opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was Hyukjae looming over him worriedly. His head felt like a steamroller had just rolled over it, and his lips were dry and chapped. Hyukjae handed him a glass of water and a white pill.

“Kyuhyun told me to give you something to get rid of a headache. Here.”

Kyuhyun.

Jongwoon wanted to see Kyuhyun. He had so many questions for him, but the younger boy was nowhere in sight.

“Where is Kyuhyun?”

“He went out for a schedule. He wouldn’t leave your bedside until Jungsu reminded him of his responsibilities.”

“I see.”

Jongwoon lay down and closed his eyes. He thought back to what Kyuhyun had said, and what he had remembered. He knew now that they weren’t simply dreams, but they were memories of lifetimes past. But what was the difference? His past lives were nothing but wisps of dreams, and he wanted to talk to Kyuhyun badly so that Kyuhyun could string them all together and help him make some sense of things.

Jongwoon didn’t know why he knew Kyuhyun has all the answers, but he knew that his mind would be at peace once Kyuhyun returned and was by his side.

.:..:..:..:..:.

Jongwoon no longer dreamt of his past lives. Once he remembered, they had eventually gone away. Who knew that all he needed was to accept his feelings for Kyuhyun and remember everything to have his sanity returned to him.

He woke up as the sun’s rays filtered through the small gaps between the curtains. He stretched out his arms, but accidentally hit Kyuhyun’s face in the process. A stream of protests came out of Kyuhyun’s mouth, and Jongwoon grinned before leaning over and pressing a kiss on the other boy’s lips to shut him up.

“Now, this is a much better way to wake up.”

Jongwoon smiled at the remark and interlocked his fingers with Kyuhyun’s, quietly enjoying the presence of his soulmate. It had seemed unbelievable at first and initially Jongwoon had thought that it was just a ploy for Kyuhyun to get into his pants. But when Kyuhyun started to describe their past lives, the scenes and images from Jongwoon’s dreams that he had never shared with anyone else, Jongwoon started to believe.

And when they had kissed for the first time, something had felt so right and the happiness had been so overwhelming that it was impossible to not believe they were meant for each other.

Kyuhyun had been so relieved when Jongwoon finally remembered that he couldn’t help crying again, and Jungsu had walked in on Kyuhyun sobbing into a pillow. Subsequently, Jongwoon was yelled at and chased around the dorm for bullying the maknae, but Jongwoon didn’t care.

Because everything was right when they were together. And they had a whole new lifetime of being with each other again.

.:..:..:..:..:.

Leo is along the riverbank, chasing along after his puppy when he bumps into a girl from his class. Leo frowns, and remembers the girl’s name is Eva. She sits across the room, but Leo has never talked to her before even though he thinks she’s really pretty.

“Hi. Eva, right? You’re in my class.”

Eva stares at Leo for a minute, and then hits his arm really hard.

“Ouch. Why did you hit me?”

“Why do you never remember? Why are you so stupid? I told you not to drink that vial of water! You never listen!”

Leo stares at Eva in confusion as she starts crying while mumbling something about a river, water and memories. All Leo knows is that he wants to comfort her and stop Eva from crying. He reaches into his pocket and takes out a piece of candy. Eva grabs the candy and eats it while she continues to cry. She eventually stops when Leo reaches out and holds her hand.

“I guess we have a whole lifetime this time. You’ll remember.”

“I’m sure I will, so stop crying. Wanna see this really cool place I found two days ago? It can be our secret hideout!”

.:..:..:..:..:.

fin.

.:..:..:..:..:.

A/N: Yay this is finished! I hope you guys like it, and it lives up to all the expectations~ It’s a little choppy, I know, but hey at least they have a happy ending, right? Hehe.

And the part about the eyes – eyes are the windows to the soul, so I kinda went off that idea. Hope that clears up anything confusing about it ^^

Merry Christmas in advance, although I should be posting something again soon ;)

Lots of love!

Waters of Lethe

2012-11-25T18:52:12Z

Title: Waters of Lethe (1/2)

Fandom: Super Junior

Pairing: YeKyu (Yesung x Kyuhyun)

Genre(s): Romance, Fantasy, Angst

Rating: PG

Summary: Kyuhyun spends all of his life searching for Jongwoon because Kyuhyun remembers everything and Jongwoon remembers nothing at all.

Won’t you come back to me?
Everyday I call out your name
As I wait, exhausted, I wander and look for you
- Memories

.:..:..:..:..:.

There are times when Kyuhyun believes that his memories are both a gift and a burden. At times he feels blessed because he remembers and is able to recognize his soulmate regardless of whatever form he or she will take, but at times it can be a burden because it means that he is forever searching for his other half.

Plato thought that humans were split into two, condemned to look for their other half. But the truth of it was that it was their souls, not their bodies, which were split into two. Sometimes, thanks to the water of Lethe that each soul is required to drink before reaching Elysium and moving onto reincarnation, some souls don’t even remember that they have another half, and they go on for lifetimes and centuries wandering, wondering what was that aching emptiness in their hearts.

But Kyuhyun remembers everything. His soulmate doesn’t.

Kyuhyun sometimes wonder why his soulmate never seems to remember to break the rules and not drink the water of Lethe. Kyuhyun tells him over and over again, reminding him even as they pass the Styx. But he never listens, and Kyuhyun is the only one who searches and searches.

Sometimes it takes a whole lifetime, and they reunite in their late sixties, both with children and grandchildren. Sometimes they find each other immediately, grow up as childhood sweethearts and attain that happily ever after.

But sometimes, Kyuhyun doesn’t find him at all.

.:..:..:..:..:.

Reincarnation is a strange thing for those who remember. Kyuhyun can remember all the lives he’s lived, all the souls that he’s ever interacted with. He remembers the different countries, continents that he’s lived on. He remembers all the love he’s received from family and friends.

Sometimes he might not be reincarnated as a man. There have been plenty of times when Kyuhyun found himself as a woman, and his soulmate was a man. And there have been times when he was a man, and his soulmate was a woman. Although Kyuhyun doesn’t care what gender and form they come in as long as they find each other, he finds that things are a lot simpler if they fit in the traditional paradigm of lovers being consisted of a man and a woman. There have been times when both of them were men, and there have been times when both of them were women.

Gender had never come between them though. Although society shunned them, they had each other, and that was enough.

They’ve lived through all the major world events. Sometimes they would be in the right places at the right times. But sometimes they would be on opposites sides of the country, of wars, of the sea. Kyuhyun is pretty sure that if he took some of the events that have happened to the two of them in their past lifetimes and wrote about them, he could make billions. They have been through more events that were more tragic than anything Shakespeare could even imagine, and Kyuhyun is positive that people would love to just sympathize with the poor lovers that have been through the roughest waters.

Reincarnation is strange thing for people who know it exists. It is completely random, and where you ended up really depended on how lucky you were. If you are lucky, you will be born into a good family, receive a good education, get a good job and meet the love of your life because the two of you were born in a relatively close proximity to each other.

Kyuhyun has been lucky and he has been unlucky. He has yet to find out if he’s lucky this lifetime, and if the fates have decided to be good to him.

.:..:..:..:..:.

This lifetime, he is born as Cho Kyuhyun and he grows up in Seoul, Korea. He is born into a good family that has a rather privileged background. Although he doesn’t mind being female, he is a little relieved to find that he isn’t. He shudders at the thought of going through childbirth again, and decides that it’s something he can live without.

He isn’t born with his memories, but he gradually attains them one by one as his brain develops. He would have dreams at night, and soon he realizes that they come from his past lives. He starts paying attention to the people around him, but he soon realizes that none of them are the one that he’s looking for. In his teenage years he dates a few girls for fun to pass the time, but he knows that deep down, they can’t fill the void that he’s so desperately looking to fill. They were always so heartbroken when he eventually ends the relationships, and he feels guilty because they’re all great souls, but they’re not the souls for him.

In high school, he joins a band on a whim. His voice was terrible in his past lifetime and he sorely missed making music. But as his voice is decent this lifetime, he agrees to it when a couple of classmates ask. Surprisingly, he enjoys it much more than he used to, and contemplates going into music. He was never famous in his past lives, and he wondered what it would be like to be in the limelight. Part of him wonders if his soulmate would recognize him if he was on TV.

His parents were strongly opposed to the idea, wishing for him to become a lawyer, but Kyuhyun stands his ground and makes it clear that he wants to become a singer. They finally relent, giving him the condition that he does well on his college entrance exams.

Kyuhyun eventually passes with flying colors, and he goes for an audition for SM Entertainment.

.:..:..:..:..:.

When Kyuhyun brushes against his soulmate on the subway, he thinks that this lifetime is one filled with luck for the first time. He had just gotten out of band practice and was trying to get on the crowded subway when someone arm brushes against him as they try to get off the train. Kyuhyun feels a warm, tingly feeling, and realizes that the feeling is a familiar one. He doesn’t see the person’s face, and the doors of the subway close before he has a chance to chase after.

He isn’t a hundred percent sure, but he thinks he sees a man stop and touch his arm before the subway speeds off and he loses sight of the platform.

He laughs in disbelief at how his first encounter with his soulmate this lifetime fits the stereotypical meeting of lovers, one that could easily be in a romance drama or a cheesy film aimed at couples. It seems a little ridiculous that he would be so close to his soulmate, yet so far. But it was hard to wipe the smile off his face. Kyuhyun is relieved to know that at least this time, they have been blessed with the fact that they are in the same city. He has found his other half under more unlikely circumstances, and he sleeps a little better at night knowing that at least they could look at the same moon and stars at the same time.

.:..:..:..:..:.

When Kyuhyun makes it into SM Entertainment, he is neither ecstatic nor overjoyed. His mind has been constantly flooded with the image of the back of the man who stopped and touched his arm on the subway platform. He wonders where the man is now and how he can possibly find him in the hectic city of Seoul. His mind is so preoccupied with these thoughts that he doesn’t remember to be nervous about going to training sessions for the first time.

But he soon forgets about his soulmate as he suffers from the torture that comes in the disguise as dance practice. Kyuhyun has never been a dancer, and he doesn’t know why management suddenly decided that it was a good idea to place him into a dance group. As beads of sweat trickle down his face and neck, he questions himself and whether or not he really wants to do this. As soon as they are given a break, Kyuhyun lies facedown on the floor and feels the ache in his legs. He recalls how even training in the army hadn’t been this intense, and makes a note to never become a dance-group idol in South Korea ever again.

He finally steadies his breathing and sits up. He hears the other trainees suddenly gasp as a few members of the new boy band, Super Junior, enter the studio. Kyuhyun hurriedly stands up as the other trainees stiffen and bow towards their seniors, and keeps his eyes on the floor.

“It’s nice to meet you all. I heard the thirteenth member is here?”

He hears one of the trainers answer, and the next thing he knows is that his name is being called out. He looks up towards the idols, and for a moment he feels a little unsure of himself. But when he sees the man furthest to his right, his eyes widen in shock. He recognizes something in the other’s eyes, and his face falls as he notices the lack of recognition in them. He doesn’t remember Kyuhyun, and Kyuhyun can’t blame him. It’s been centuries since the last time he was able to remember Kyuhyun within an hour, and Kyuhyun knows that he shouldn’t expect too much. He smiles slightly as he comforts himself that it’s already a miracle to find him before the age of twenty, let alone find him in the same company that he’s in.

“Kyuhyun, do well. We’ll see you much more once you’re done with your training.”

He watches as they leave, whispering to each other. Kyuhyun couldn’t help but pick up on the an underlying hostility, but he grins like an idiot as he realizes that he’s going to be in the same group as the love of his many lifetimes.

.:..:..:..:..:.

Kyuhyun later finds out that his name is Jongwoon, and he goes by the stage name of Yesung. Art like voice. Kyuhyun likes how it sounds, and he knows that Jongwoon probably likes it too. He asks all the trainees who have been there for a longer period of time, and they would tell Kyuhyun all the things they’ve heard about the guys in Super Junior. He finds out that Jungsu has been in the company since forever, and if there are any questions, he’s the guy to go to. Heechul is the one that is conceited and arrogant, but that is also part of his charm. Siwon is the one that seems to have it all. Ryeowook is the one that is extremely talented and debuted with just two months of training. And Jongwoon is the one who is introverted and quiet, the one that doesn’t talk as much as the others and has an absolutely gorgeous voice that everyone is jealous of.

He quietly observes Jongwoon from afar, and he monitors every performance of Super Junior’s, hoping to catch a glimpse of him. He realizes that Jongwoon doesn’t have that much screen-time, but if he concentrates hard enough, he can hear Jongwoon’s voice throughout their songs. At night, he listens to their music with his eyes closed and the lights off, and he thinks he knows Jongwoon’s voice so well that it proves he is borderline obsessed with the man.

However, Kyuhyun remains optimistic. The gap between them is merely a few meters, and he is determined to make it work for them this lifetime.

.:..:..:..:..:.

When two halves of a soul are near to each other, sometimes memories of their past lives will be regained. Jongwoon sometimes only took sixty seconds to remember who Kyuhyun is. Other times, he took days, weeks, month and sometimes years to remember who Kyuhyun is.

Kyuhyun never rushed him, because there was no point if he didn’t remember it all by himself. The most Kyuhyun could do in the past was try and prompt him slowly, encourage him to remember the lives that they’ve lived before. Kyuhyun had once lost his patience and attempted to speed the process up. It goes without saying that Jongwoon had completely freaked out when Kyuhyun tried to explain the concept of soulmates and the afterlife, and he had cut Kyuhyun off from his life. Jongwoon had married another person and they had ended up having ten grandkids while Kyuhyun lived alone with cats. It taught Kyuhyun a valuable lesson that things like these can’t be rushed, and Kyuhyun became a lot more patient.

So he watches over Jongwoon from a distance, waiting for the day he becomes a part of Super Junior and waiting for the day Jongwoon finally remembers who he is and how they’re meant to be together.

.:..:..:..:..:.

When Kyuhyun finally moves officially into the Super Junior dorm, he couldn’t be happier when he hears he is sharing a room with Jongwoon. He eagerly brings his luggage to his new room on the eleventh floor, but the sight he is greeted with couldn’t be further from what he imagined. Jongwoon is glaring at him through narrowed eyes, and Kyuhyun wonders if he’s offended Jongwoon in any way.

It one thing to keep wishing that Jongwoon would realize that they are two halves of a whole, but it’s another having him hate his very existence. Kyuhyun talks to Ryeowook, who he becomes good friends with, and finds out that Jongwoon was against having a new member. Kyuhyun realizes that Jongwoon doesn’t see him as anything but competition, someone who is here to steal his lines and screen time. Kyuhyun tries time and time again to change Jongwoon’s determination to hate him.

But Jongwoon has always been a stubborn one, and Kyuhyun knows better than anyone else how stubborn he can be.

It hurts Kyuhyun to be at an arm’s length from Jongwoon, to be able to watch him sleep at night and not be able to hold him like he longs to. It’s been too long since they’ve been able to find each other within the first twenty years of their lives, and Kyuhyun is frustrated by the fact that he has watch over Jongwoon patiently, waiting for him to stop hating Kyuhyun’s guts and for him to slowly realize what they are.

A beam moonlight escapes between the curtains, and shines upon Jongwoon. Kyuhyun hugs his knees, and watches the rise and fall of Jongwoon’s chest as he breathes in and out. A tear slowly makes its way down Kyuhyun’s cheek, but Kyuhyun quickly wipes it off.

He should be thankful that he has Jongwoon so close to him. He shouldn’t be too demanding – at least, not yet. Jongwoon mumbles and moves in his sleep, and Kyuhyun smiles at how some things never change.

Kyuhyun is determined. He is going to make Jongwoon stop hating him, and then he is going to make Jongwoon fall in love with him. The rest can come later. His heart can’t take it when Jongwoon hates him and ignores him, attempting to pretend that he doesn’t exist even though they share the same room. His heart can’t take it when he can’t even hold Jongwoon the way he wants to because Jongwoon doesn’t remember anything.

Kyuhyun has never hated Jongwoon more for drinking that damn water even though he tells him time and time again that he shouldn’t.

He lies down and goes to sleep, determined to make things work out. After all, fate brought them together already. The rest is all up to Kyuhyun.

.:..:..:..:..:.

tbc.

.:..:..:..:..:.

A/N: The first part in the two-shot. I was actually trying to write something cute and fluffy, but this sprouted out instead. I've had this idea floating around in my mind for a while, and I thought it was about time I wrote it. Not sure when I’ll be posting the 2^nd part, but phoenix_soar told me to post this, so here it is.

Comments are loved and appreciated (:

Side note: Lethe is one of the rivers in the afterlife that make you forget all your memories as a human if you drink from the waters.

Between the Lines

2012-11-22T23:54:20Z

Title: Between the Lines

Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing: Kyuhyun x Yesung (Kyusung/YeKyu)
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance, Fantasy
Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot :)
Summary: What happens when Kyuhyun suddenly finds himself in the world he’s been longing to be a part of? When fiction becomes reality, and longings seem to come true.

A/N: Kyuhyun-centric

Kyuhyun loves reading.

He was always teased in his school years for always carrying a book around with him regardless of where he went. He was known as the nerd who excelled at math and read books for fun. It wasn’t Kyuhyun’s favorite period of time – he didn’t make very many friends – but it was bearable because he could always curl up at home and read.

Sometimes, books would carry Kyuhyun away. At times he would be at Hogwarts, reading his future from tealeaves in divination classes. At other times, he would be Legolas, shooting down orcs during his competition with Gimli. Or he would be a detective, trying to hunt down Rachel Verinder’s moonstone.

Kyuhyun reads anything he can get his hands on. He loves a good plot and amazing characters. He loves everything about the written word – the way that simple letters are grouped together to take him away. The way metaphors and similes can paint a setting so vividly even though he’s never laid his eyes on a particular landscape.

But even though he becomes absorbed by words easily, the last thing he had expected was to fall in love with someone from the fictional realm, someone who wasn’t real.

Then again – who is to tell us who or what we’re not to love? Kyuhyun knew it was irrational and that it probably ruined his life to some degree, but he couldn’t help himself from falling.

.:--:.

It all started when Kyuhyun found the book. He was walking around his school library when he noticed it on the desk. He was about to hand it back to the librarian as it was out of place when he noticed that it didn’t actually belong to their school.

Kyuhyun swears that his heart was pounding when he first flicked through the pages, but the truth was he didn’t feel anything at all. There wasn’t a magic pull, or instrumental music in the background that made him realize that it was his destiny to meet Yesung. But there was something about the book that intrigued him. Kyuhyun couldn’t put it down, so he slipped it into his bag. He started to flick through it only when he was at home – it somehow felt wrong to be reading something he essentially stole from someone at school without the privacy of his own room.

Perhaps it was the rush of adrenaline that Kyuhyun felt knowing that the book didn’t truly belong to him that caused him to become more invested in the plotlines. Or perhaps Yesung was just waiting for Kyuhyun to come along and breathe life into him. Either way, it was a pretty dull start to something that turned out to become quite the love story (or so Kyuhyun claims).

.:--:.

It isn’t clear when the love started developing. At first, Kyuhyun wasn’t too fond of Yesung’s character – he would inadvertently make mean comments to people as a joke, he had weird habits and he was just strange. He was one of those characters that Kyuhyun couldn’t really figure out. The author had described him with weird habits, a slight obsession with turtles and constant mood swings. It didn’t help that the book was written in a perspective that wasn’t Yesung’s, so Kyuhyun had soon made a game out of trying to guess what was going on in his head.

The plotline of the novel was simple enough: it described the process of attaining your dreams. The author had created a parallel universe to the one Kyuhyun lives in: the planet, a round shaped thing that people lived on, was called Earth and there were things called “countries” that separated people by area. Society was modeled on the one Kyuhyun lived in, but it was fascinating reading about a world that was so alike to his own yet so different. The events in the book occurred in a place called Korea, and the language they spoke was exactly the same as Kyuhyun’s language – the one difference was that the author called it “Korean”.

The main characters were Leeteuk, Donghae, Yesung, Siwon, Eunhyuk, Shindong, Sungmin, Ryeowook, Heechul, Han Geng, Kibum and Kangin, who were all trainees at a company called SM. They all had the ambition to become famous. Some of them wanted to sing, some wanted to act. But they all had to work hard in order to attain their dreams.

And since Yesung was the character that Kyuhyun spent the most time trying to understand, it goes without saying that Kyuhyun started to become obsessed with the idea of Yesung. He would create interludes in the story where he would meet Yesung on something called the subway. Or that Yesung would fall in love with him, and serenade him with a deep husky voice. Or that he would visit his parents’ restaurant one day and meet him there.

For Kyuhyun, Yesung seemed perfect in every way.

.:--:.

Kyuhyun is picky about literature, but for some reason this book with no title captivated him. He finished the book in a day, but he found himself still stuck in the plot. Even though there were no more chapters, he found himself making stories up. Did the trainees finally survive as the band called “Super Junior,” or were they eventually dropped from the company? Would Leeteuk and Kangin finally confess their love for each other? Would Heechul’s distaste for religion interfere with the group dynamics given that many of them were Christian? It was strange how alive the characters were for Kyuhyun. It drove him a little crazy knowing that he wasn’t part of their world, and he wondered how he grew to love the characters so much that he wanted to be.

He was infatuated with the book to the point where he wished he was in the book instead of the world he lived in.

.:--:.

It had been 41 days since he first found the book and read it for the first time. He was in his room closely examining certain chapters to see if he had missed anything during his initial read when suddenly he was hit by a burst of light. Kyuhyun squeezed his eyes shut and cringed at the exposure. When he slowly opened his eyes again, he looked around his room to figure out what had caused the light. Later, Kyuhyun would realize the subtle differences: he has different books on his bookshelf, a photo on the table that he doesn’t remember taking and CDs of bands that he’s never heard of. But instead, what captivates his attention immediately is the book in his hands. The text no longer exists and he finds himself holding a book full of blank pages. He traced letters onto the blank pages, and frowned whilst wondering how the story had disappeared.

But his musings were interrupted by a knock at the door. He heard the sound of his sister’s voice muffled from behind the door.

“Kyu, that idol group you’ve been interested in is on TV. They just made their debut.”

Kyuhyun frowned, as he didn’t remember following any idol groups. He hides the empty book under his pillow, and quickly gets up. He thinks his heart was pounding fast as he approached the living room, realizing that there were things that weren’t right. He was pretty sure that the walls in the corridors were never covered in pale green wallpaper, or that the wood that the floor was made up of wasn’t oak. He approached the living room where his sister is, and he plopped himself on the couch.

“Life couldn’t get better”

Kyuhyun froze at the song; his eyes widened as each member of the idol group came on and sang their parts. When the song ended and the MCs thanked the group Super Junior for performing, Kyuhyun passed out.

.:--:.

When Kyuhyun woke up, he found himself looking into his mother’s worried eyes.

“Kyuhyun-ah, are they overworking you at SM? You know your Dad would love to pull you out from that path of being a singer – after all, you definitely have what it takes to become a businessman, or a doctor…”

He doesn’t remember the rest in detail, but he apparently asked his mother enough questions that she thought it was necessary to have a physical examination at the hospital the next day. But Kyuhyun could care less – he somehow found himself in the world that he had been dreaming of. He was in Korea, speaking Korean, and the best part was that he was already a trainee at SM Entertainment.

It was strange that this world was so similar to his own, yet so different. All the people he knew before were still there. They had the same names and the same faces, but they were all thrown into a different context. Kyuhyun wondered if this was all just a figment of his imagination, but he then decided he didn’t care. He would wake up when the time comes, but in the meantime, he would just enjoy the opportunity to live a life that he wanted.

.:--:.

It had been two weeks since Kyuhyun first started his new life when he first met Yesung. He was roaming around the building looking for Changmin when suddenly he bumped into someone he hadn’t met. He looked up into those eyes, and something inside him felt restless. He knew for certain that this was Yesung, the one with the art-like voice. But the other man just frowned at him, and Kyuhyun suddenly realized that he hadn’t introduced himself yet.

“Yesung, right? I’m very sorry that I bumped into you.”

It might’ve been the sincerity that was radiating off Kyuhyun, or the puppy dog eyes that he tried to give Yesung. But Yesung’s frown visibly softened.

“You know me? I don’t believe we’ve met before. You are…?”

“Kyuhyun. Cho Kyuhyun. I’m a trainee. Don’t forget me anytime soon.”

With a pounding heart, Kyuhyun got up and grabbed Yesung’s face, firmly placing a kiss on his lips.

What do I have to lose anyway? I’m in a fictional realm. Might as well.

Kyuhyun smirks as Yesung looks lost and confused, and he walks off humming a song he doesn’t know the name of.

.:--:.

It had been nearly half a year, and Kyuhyun was still living the life in Korea. He had friends, he was singing, and he was close to Yesung. Although at times he would wonder what had happened and why it had happened, he didn’t linger on the subject for too long. He was happy, happier than he had ever been back where he came from, so he didn’t care. It didn’t matter. His family was here, and Yesung was here. That’s all that mattered.

The kiss would always come back and haunt him. He didn’t have a chance to meet Yesung again, but the rare glimpses he caught of the singer would send his heart into frenzy. He believed that Yesung forgot about him, forgot about their encounter, but he would be proven wrong when he is told to join Super Junior. He brought his luggage to the dorm, and was directed by Leeteuk to a room on the end of the hallway.

He knocked, and nearly died of anticipation to find out who he would be sharing a room with. Truth be told, he wanted to be Ryeowook’s roommate – he had talked to him several times at the company, and he found Ryeowook’s company comforting and enjoyable. But when he found himself face to face with Yesung, he thought that this particular arrangement wasn’t too bad either.

“I didn’t realize that you’re my new roommate, Cho Kyuhyun. And yes, I didn’t forget you. Next time, I’d rather you give me some notice in advance when you want a kiss.”

.:--:.

Week turned to months, and months into years. Kyuhyun had almost forgotten about his previous life, the one he spent reading about characters that were so alike to people that he lived with. Super Junior was doing well, and his relationship with Yesung couldn’t get better. It had taken some time for him to ask Yesung out, but Yesung had grabbed his face and proceeded to kiss him so deeply that his answer to Kyuhyun’s “Will you be my boyfriend?” couldn’t be any clearer.

It had taken time for their friends, band mates and families to accept the relationship, but life seemed perfect. Other than the impending dreaded military service that Yesung is about to enlist in, Kyuhyun couldn’t think of anything else that his life was missing. It was the night before Yesung was about to leave, and the two of them were hanging around in Kyuhyun’s room. Yesung had become sleepy thanks to a long schedule, and was dozing off on the bed when Kyuhyun finds the book again. He strokes the cover gently, and opens it. The pages still remain blank, but Kyuhyun traced letters with his finger on each page. He knew that the book was meant for him, and it was destiny for him to meet Yesung. But he no longer knew what was real and what wasn’t. Was he real? Or was he the one that was the fictional character in this world that somehow magically accommodated him?

As he flipped the second to last page, he felt a chilling wind envelop him and his vision became fuzzy.

.:--:.

He wakes, and he is disoriented. He sees the face of his sister, and he wonders what had happened. The last thing he remembers is cuddling with Yesung in a bed, and he suddenly sits up as he remembers that Yesung is enlisting. He sees the white that surrounds him, and realizes that somehow he is lying in a hospital room. His mother has swollen eyes, and he wonders who made her cry so much.

He is about to get out of the bed when suddenly he sees Yesung in the doorway. But he takes in the clothes that Yesung is wearing, and realizes that something is wrong. He reaches for the necklace that Yesung gave him, and realizes that it isn’t hanging around his neck. And as he notices Yesung’s bare neck, suddenly everything makes sense. He’s back in his world, and Yesung, Super Junior, and all his other friends are lost to him forever. A tear rolls down his face, and he wonders what had happened to him.

“Kyuhyun-ah, please lie down. You’ve been in a coma for nearly a week now, and you need to rest.”

The man who looks like Yesung comes over, and gives him a fruit basket. His sister smiles slightly.

“This is Jongwoon. He found you unconscious outside the school on your way home.”

Kyuhyun can’t stop the tears from falling down his face as he looks at Jongwoon. He’s the exactly the same as Yesung, and it hurts to know that he doesn’t remember the same things. The man called Jongwoon leans over and gently wipes a tear off Kyuhyun’s face. Kyuhyun leans towards Jongwoon, and Jongwoon supports Kyuhyun as he mourns for what he has lost.

But the warmth is oddly familiar, and Kyuhyun realizes that perhaps not all is lost as he looks into Jongwoon’s eyes.

-fin-

A/N;; My first YeKyu fic in a long, long time. Half of this was actually written quite a few months ago (during my summer holidays, I believe), and I just got around to finishing it. Not sure what to make of it actually...it's a little different. I don't know if I should classify this as AU or not -- it's a bit of a mix of the both AU and canon-verse. It was interesting trying to make canon-verse the AU. I do know that some people might not like it as the plot is somewhat...strange. But yeah, let me know what you make of it!

The ending was a little rushed...I really didn't know what else to do. The idea is a little like Inception where one can spend a bajillion years in limbo, yet not spend all that much time in reality. Idk what's going on half of the time. It's been a while.

Comments and love please! I need some encouragement to write moar :)

Broken Clockwork: Chapter 6

2012-11-22T04:10:50Z

Title: Broken Clockwork
Fandom: Infinite
Pairing: MyungGyu (Myungsoo x Sunggyu), OT7
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst, Romance
Length: Chaptered
Summary: Myungsoo is sick and tired of his continuous and tiring schedules and wishes he no longer needs to deal with the life of an idol. But he realizes a little too late that he should be careful of what he wishes for as he wakes up ten years into the future, and Infinite is no longer together...

Chapter 6

Sunggyu is about to make a solo debut. Myungsoo is standing in the rain, holding up an umbrella as he tries to convey the emotions that the director tells him to. He stares at the actress, but in reality, he wants to run around to the corner of the fake street and grab Sunggyu’s hands. The leader is absolutely nervous about shedding the title, and appearing on stage without the rest of Infinite. Although the other members have told him that he will be absolutely amazing, Sunggyu isn’t convinced.

Myungsoo shakes his worries about the leader from his head, and concentrates on filming. It’s the only way that he can support Sunggyu.

“3, 2, 1. Cut. Perfect! I think we can wrap it up now.”

Myungsoo smiles and runs over to Sunggyu, who takes Myungsoo’s hands in his own.

“You know I’m…bad with words, but I just want you to know that it means a lot to me that you’re doing this.”

Myungsoo hugs Sunggyu and whispers the words “I know.”

---

He still doesn’t know what had happened.

One minute, life was beautiful. Everything was perfect. He was living with Sunggyu, and everything was right. But the next thing he knows, Sunggyu tells him that he wants him gone from his apartment.

“I think you need to leave in order to find yourself. You can’t stay 21 forever. You need to figure out what the ‘you’ in your thirties is like. And staying with me will keep you at 21.”

He wonders why it was so sudden. Things were going according to plan – he had talked to Sungyeol and Sungjong, and neither of them had seemed to have a grudge on him anymore. Sungjong had introduced his girlfriend, and Sungyeol welcomed him back with open arms. It seemed that they had all been talking amongst each other though – Sungyeol and Sungjong both knew what happened with Howon and Dongwoo. Sungyeol had patted him on the back. It was awkward at first, but soon Myungsoo realized that he had his best friend back.

He had returned home in high spirits, thinking that the only thing left was to make it up with Woohyun. But the next day Sunggyu told him to leave home.

And so here he is in his apartment. Except it’s not really his apartment. He doesn’t recognize the furniture. The photos on display are unfamiliar. Everything seems to be colder and it scares Myungsoo that this is his. The words Sunggyu said to him, his request for Myungsoo to leave, replays over and over again in his head. It doesn’t help that he frequently has dreams of what could have been – recording a music video for Sunggyu, starring in various sitcoms alongside touring Japan, living in the dorm with the others until they all grew old together. It was painful to think that something he wanted was so different from the reality of how things turned out.

With a heavy heart, Myungsoo explores his apartment thoroughly. Every single thing he finds just seems to reiterate what a cold-hearted person he had become. But it isn’t until he comes across a locked room that he feels that there may be more to the story that he thinks. He takes out the bunch of keys that he finds, and tries the keys one by one.

The last key makes the lock make a clicking sound, and Myungsoo slowly swings the door open. Myungsoo stares in disbelief as he is hit with bursts of color. Posters of Infinite, and the members of Infinite after the split are hung on the walls. Packages of gifts from fans that Myungsoo still recognizes, gifts from when he was still a part of Infinite, are scattered on the floor. Photos of him and the other members are neatly pinned onto a bulletin board that sits on the desk. None of the photos are recent, but it warms Myungsoo from head to toe to know that at least he kept the photos. He had been on the brink of believing that he strayed far away from where he used to be, from the person he once was. But this room showed him that deep down, he was always Kim Myungsoo. He had just become better at hiding that part of him, buried deep down.

He quickly takes out his phone, and presses one on speed dial.

“Sunggyu hyung? I need you to come over.”

---

Sunggyu looks tired when Myungsoo welcomes him at the door, but Myungsoo still releases a breath of relief as he sees the man in front of him. He reaches out to grab Sunggyu’s arm, but Sunggyu hand jerks away. Myungsoo frowns slightly, and lets his extended arm fall back down to his own side.

“You said you made some mind-blowing discovery and you needed me here?”

“Yes. Hyung, follow me.”

Myungsoo leads Sunggyu to the room, the room that proves that what they thought about Myungsoo disappearing heartlessly wasn’t entirely true. Sunggyu eyes widen in shock and he takes in everything. He walks around and touches everything silently, but Myungsoo can see that he’s touched by the amount of stuff in there. There are posters from all 5 solo projects that Sunggyu had released, and the CDs, in mint condition, are displayed proudly on a bookcase. Myungsoo picks up a copy of their first album, Come Back Again, and smiles as he sees the messages. They had autographed the CD with messages from the members to the future Myungsoo.

A tear rolls down Myungsoo’s cheek as he reads Sunggyu’s words for him, written so many years ago with the optimism of boys that just debuted.

Myungsoo-ah! I love you, you know that right? I may not always show it, but you’re one member I’d hate to live without. Be strong, and achieve all your dreams! Future Kim Myungsoo, you’re definitely amazing in every way, and I hope that this will always give you strength to go on. Always remember back to the times we’ve worked hard, and work even harder. I love you!!

He reads the others’ messages, each encouraging in a different way, and he feels a hand on his shoulder. His vision suddenly becomes blurry as Sunggyu pulls him into a hug. He is a little embarrassed at how emotional he is, but seeing all these things being kept means so much. Although he has been trying to figure things out and fix things with the other members, the guilt that he caused everything to fade, to make Infinite very finite, had been gnawing at him. Sunggyu pats his back soothingly, and Myungsoo closes his eyes.

For the first time in a long time, he feels more comfortable in his own skin.

---

A/N: It's been too long! I know I haven't been the best of authors, updating this really really really slowly. If you've been waiting for this, thank you so so much for sticking with me. College has been hectic, and I've had so many things to deal with. I know this chapter is a little shorter than what I normally write, but I just really wanted to update this fic. I'll definitely try and get some more writing done, and hopefully you won't have to wait as long for the next time I post.

Obviously the beginning part is inspired by the new MV for our leader's SOLO. Yesss. I swear Woollim can read my mind. It was so perfect and flawless in every way. But keep in mind that the first part of each chapter is now going to be an event that would've happened had Myungsoo never left Infinite. In a way, it's reality for us, but it's an alternate reality for the characters in the fic.

I love you all~ comments are appreciated!

Facades

2012-11-22T02:08:57Z

Title: Facades
Pairing: KyuSung (Yesung x Kyuhyun)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst, Romance
Summary: When things don't go as planned, Jongwoon has always sought refuge from reality in his sleep.

Written for kyusung_fest

Jongwoon absolutely hates it when people disturb his precious sleep. So when he wakes to the sound of loud voices yelling and a plate crashing to the ground, he buries his head further into his pillow while wishing that he could sleep as soundly as Hyukjae. He squeezes his eyes shut and wills himself to fall back to sleep, to go back into his dreams. To go back where everything is perfect. The voices get louder, and Jongwoon grimaces. Suddenly, the door is thrown open and light floods into his room.

Jongwoon wants to cry.

And then the light is gone as the door is slammed.

“Hyung, can I sleep here tonight? With you?”

Jongwoon grunts as Kyuhyun gently slips under the covers with him. The bed shifts, and Jongwoon rolls over slightly to give Kyuhyun more space.

“I’m sorry I disturbed your sleep. I won’t do it again, promise.” Jongwoon hums to let Kyuhyun know that he doesn’t mind, and lets sleep overtake him once more.

---

The koi in the pond swim around happily as the sound of birdcalls fill the air. Jongwoon breaks off crumbs from his bread and feeds the fish as he waits patiently for Kyuhyun to appear. He wonders if Kyuhyun isn’t too tired from his late night schedule, and worries that he shouldn’t have asked him to come.

The flurry of footsteps from behind him stops Jongwoon’s thoughts and he turns around to see his boyfriend. Jongwoon grins as Kyuhyun leans down and pecks him on the cheek.

“I still can’t believe we’re dating.”

“Me neither. I’ve wanted you to tell me you love me for so long that I had almost given up on it.”

“I’ve always had a soft spot for you, maknae.”

Jongwoon embraces Kyuhyun and the two of them sit in a comfortable silence as they watch the koi swim around in the pond.

---

Jongwoon pretends that he doesn’t know tears stream down Kyuhyun’s face every night when they lie down at night to go to sleep. The fight between Sungmin and Kyuhyun has escalated, and Kyuhyun can’t return to their shared room anymore. So instead, he seeks refuge in the room of Jongwoon. Soon, he becomes a permanent roommate.

Truth be told, Jongwoon doesn’t mind the extra company.

But when Jongwoon wakes up in the mornings from his dreams, he feels his heart clench when he sees the swollen eyes of the maknae. He gently wipes off a tear, a precious droplet that is intended for Sungmin, and reality hits him.

Kyuhyun isn’t his. And he never will be.

Jongwoon sighs as the positive feelings that he had felt before start to flood out of him and he leaves the room quietly. He never admits it to anyone, not even to Ryeowook, but he feels like hurting someone whenever he sees Kyuhyun cry. So instead, he drinks a cup of coffee, masks his emotions and plays with Kkoming. It took a lot of practice, but he eventually mastered the art of disguising his emotions, wants and needs.

---

Kyuhyun laughs as Jongwoon feeds him cotton candy, and Jongwoon smiles fondly at how cheerful the maknae sounds. The ferris wheel takes them up to the sky. Jongwoon links his hand with Kyuhyun’s and takes a bite out of the sweet, pink cloud.

Jongwoon feels a weight on his shoulder as Kyuhyun leans on him and hums a sweet, lilting melody. He stares out to the distance, enjoying the company, enjoying what it’s like to just be with Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun leans up and pecks Jongwoon on the cheek.

Everything is so perfect and beautiful in every way that Jongwoon almost cries.

---

Jongwoon is a stubborn asshole, so it took him a while to admit that his feelings for the maknae ran deeper than his affection for his other dongsaengs. He knew that things weren’t right when he would feel butterflies in his stomach when Kyuhyun would give him back hugs and act cute in front of him. At first, he tried to convince himself that it was because he is the maknae, but it just wasn’t the same when Ryeowook did it. And Kyuhyun and Ryeowook were practically the same age.

When Super Junior KRY was formed, he had spent increasingly more time with Ryeowook and Kyuhyun. The three of them soon became inseparable. Even though Kyuhyun shared a room with Sungmin, he would always tell Jongwoon how he was his best friend. They called each other at midnight to wish each other happy birthday. Kyuhyun would always send Jongwoon photos of clothes for his approval before he actually bought them. Jongwoon asked Kyuhyun to help him pick out a puppy.

Jongwoon had no idea that he was being lured in by the maknae. Soon all he could think about was Kyuhyun.

But it was only when Ryeowook came and confronted Jongwoon about being in love with Kyuhyun that Jongwoon actually admitted to it. After making Ryeowook swear to not tell a soul (he ignored the snide comment about how it was blatantly written on his face), he sat down and thought long and hard. And decided that he wouldn’t risk it.

---

Jongwoon is at a bar. There is a singer onstage, singing a sultry song about love and lust. He sits at the bar and orders a drink. The smell of smoke overwhelms him, and he wonders why it’s so appealing to people to come to this place. In the corner, a couple is tightly locked together, attempting to suck each other’s faces of.

He frowns slightly, and voices out his question: “What it is about dim lighting and alcohol that allow people to throw away their embarrassment?”

“Well, you also need to factor in hormones and love.”

A voice behind him answers his question, and he turns around. Kyuhyun comes and wraps his arms around him as he turns around.

“Have you been waiting for a long time?”

“Is that what I’m doing?”

“Yes. You’re waiting for me.” Kyuhyun hands a glass to Jongwoon. “Let’s go over there and give that couple a run for their money.”

“Are you trying to get me drunk enough to make out with you in public?” Jongwoon takes the shot of vodka.

“Yes. Is it working?”

“Maybe.”

The night is spent with whispers of endearments, roaming hands and kisses.

---

Jongwoon is a dreamer.

It’s one of the reasons why he never takes any risks. After all, Jongwoon can never lose what he never had. It was easier to long for something, because there was always that one percent chance that they could come true. If Jongwoon faced an outright rejection, then even that one percent would be gone.

So instead of confessing his feelings, Jongwoon watches over Kyuhyun.

He wishes that it was his arm that Kyuhyun held onto, not Siwon’s. Or that he was the one who was hugging him on stage all the time, not Sungmin. Or that it were his lips that touch Kyuhyun’s cheeks, not Heechul’s.

But it was his room Kyuhyun went to when he was seeking comfort from nightmares, illness or fights with Sungmin. Kyuhyun would always just slip into his bed, and Jongwoon would go to sleep with a smile. It helped knowing that when it mattered, Kyuhyun would turn to him rather than the other members.

Jongwoon doesn’t want to ruin anything by taking that leap of faith. He knows that the one percent chance could easily be lost forever.

---

As they hold hands before the dawn, Jongwoon gently squeezes Kyuhyun’s hand and points to the sky.

“Can you see that star over there?”

“Where?”

As Kyuhyun looks up to the sky trying to find the star, Jongwoon smirks and kisses him on the cheek. He feels Kyuhyun stiffen for a second, and then Jongwoon can’t help but laugh at the surprise that is written all over Kyuhyun’s face.

“You should be used to this by now.”

“I can never get used to you, hyung. Now why don’t you kiss me properly, especially as the sun is about to rise?”

They share a sweet, lingering kiss as the world awakens slowly. Jongwoon looks into Kyuhyun’s eyes and both of them smile at each other, as their fingers remain interlocked.

---

On the tenth day of what the members liked to refer to as “world war three,” Sungmin and Kyuhyun called truce. The two made up and were chatting to each other happily when Jongwoon returned home from the salon. Jongwoon felt a pang in his chest, but he masked his disappointment and smiled as he ruffled Sungmin’s hair.

“I’m glad you guys are okay again.” No, he wasn’t glad. But sometimes lies were called for.

“Yeah, me too. I’m glad my best friend is back.”

“So I guess you’re moving out of my room then, right Kyu?”

Sungmin and Kyuhyun fall silent, and Jongwoon doesn’t miss the glance that they share.

“Uh, Jongwoon hyung? I kinda got used to Ryeowook sharing my room – Kyuhyun stays up too late when he plays Starcraft. Is it okay if he stays in your room?”

“Sure.” Jongwoon shrugs nonchalantly, and walks back to his room. He hears hushed whispers outside, but he can’t stop himself from grinning. At least he gets to keep Kyuhyun to himself at night.

He rubs his chest to ease the slight pain.

He doesn’t know what Sungmin and Kyuhyun were arguing about, and truth be told, he didn’t want to know. What he doesn’t know can never hurt him. He closes his eyes to compose himself as Kyuhyun knocks on his door.

“Sorry Kyu, I was changing. I need to go out now – I have a date.”

Lies slip off Jongwoon’s tongue more and more easily as the days go by.

---

Jongwoon and Kyuhyun hail a taxi and get in breathlessly as they shut their phones off. Their eyes meet, and both of them burst into laughter.

“We finally escaped from the managers!”

“They’re going to be so mad at us.”

“But it’s our first anniversary.”

Kyuhyun grabs Jongwoon’s hands, and he wonders how they seem to fit perfectly even though there’s a difference between the sizes. Jongwoon smiles as Kyuhyun tells the driver the address of the SM building where they had first met each other during their trainee days. Kyuhyun thinks he is being the sneaky maknae by planning a serenade in the practice room where they had first met each other, but Jongwoon had already figured out what was going on when one of the composers asked him why Kyuhyun wanted a solo version of ‘Your Eyes’, complete with a piano score.

Later Jongwoon feigns surprise as Kyuhyun’s fingers play the piano flawlessly.

---

For as long as Jongwoon can remember, dreams and sleep have always been positive. Reality tends to fall apart when he wakes. But for the first time in his life, Jongwoon finds himself absolutely hating that route away from the real world as he stares at Kyuhyun. The maknae refuses to wake up, refuses to leave his dream world.

One thing Jongwoon never considered was the possibility that he could lose Kyuhyun without taking chances. He never thought it could happen, but it nearly did. And Jongwoon experienced the pain of having his dreams crushed before he even gave it a shot for the first time in his life. He feels the one percent chance of dreams becoming reality fade away as Kyuhyun lies motionless in front of him.

Sungmin is crying by Kyuhyun’s bed, Ryeowook is comforting Sungmin while trying to stop his own tears from flowing. Jungsu sits in the corner, mentally blaming himself for not taking proper care of the maknae. Hyukjae and Donghae look lost and scared. Siwon is praying. Heechul is texting updates to Han Geng, who is worrying in a different country. Zhou Mi is suffering from a migraine. Henry is playing Kyuhyun’s favorite songs on the violin, hoping it would wake him up. Youngwoon and Kibum are both breathless as they rush to the room, shocked at how still Kyuhyun is. Donghee is staring blankly at Kyuhyun.

Jongwoon is still having troubles accepting the reality that his beloved maknae overdosed on sleeping pills. He wants to curl up and escape, but he can’t. Not when Kyuhyun refuses to wake up.

---

“Hyung!”

Jongwoon stares at Kyuhyun as he runs over from across the field and flings his arms around Jongwoon. They both land on the grass in a heap. Kyuhyun buries his face in Jongwoon’s shoulder as he bursts into laughter.

“The look of shock on your face – that was priceless.”

They stroll along the path that winds between trees and flowers, holding hands and enjoying the silence. Kyuhyun keeps glancing at Jongwoon, wondering why there is a frown on that beautiful face of his.

“Kyu-ah, why are you here?”

Kyuhyun doesn’t understand what Jongwoon is trying to ask him. Jongwoon sighs in exasperation, and gestures at the their park, at their surroundings, at everything. They reach the swing set, one that looks exactly the same as the one a few blocks down from the dorm. Both of them sit down and start rocking back and forth. Kyuhyun rearranges his thoughts until he arrives at the answer to Jongwoon’s question.

“You won’t be with me there, so I came here to find you.”

Kyuhyun waits for a response, but all he hears is the creaking of the metal rings of the old swing set as Jongwoon flies higher and higher. The maknae gets up and sits on a nearby bench until Jongwoon gets off the swings and walks towards him. Jongwoon kneels in front of him and takes his hands.

“It’s not right. It’s not real. Kyu-ah, come back to the real world. I need you there more than I need you here.”

---

For two days and two nights, Jongwoon refuses to sleep. He stays by Kyuhyun’s bedside, even though all the members take it in turn to try and convince him that he needs to take a rest. His eyes are bloodshot, and his hands tremble a bit from all the caffeine that he’s taken in.

But he knows he can’t leave Kyuhyun alone in this state. So Jongwoon sings all of Kyuhyun’s favorite songs, constantly strokes his cheek and tells the unconscious maknae that he loves him.

“It’s not right. It’s not real. Kyu-ah, come back to the real world. I need you here more than I need you there.”

When Jongwoon feels his eyes shutting involuntarily, he tries to grab another cup of coffee again. But his mug is gone, and instead he sees a bottle of water. Sungmin is watching him warily.

“Min, can you grab hyung a cup of coffee?”

“Hyung. You need to sleep. Kyuhyun wouldn’t be happy if he realized what you’ve become because of his stupid actions.”

“I need to be waiting for him. Kyu is sleeping enough for the two of us right now.”

Sungmin grabs Jongwoon’s collar, and raises a hand to slap him. Jongwoon stares defiantly into Sungmin’s eyes, and Sungmin lowers his hand with a sigh.

“Do you know what Kyuhyun and I were arguing about two weeks ago?”

“No.”

“Aren’t you curious?”
“Yes, but I don’t want to know. I just want Kyu to come back.”

“Kyuhyun is in love with you, you idiot.”

When Jongwoon doesn’t react, Sungmin takes a deep breath and continues to talk.

“Kyuhyun-ah, I’m sorry. I really tried to keep your secret. I did.” He turns back to the sleep-deprived Jongwoon. “I told Kyuhyun to man up and tell you how he felt. He was always worried that you didn’t return his feelings. Apparently one look at you in that practice room seven years ago, and he was a goner. He knew that you were the one. But he didn’t want to risk losing you to these feelings of his when he wasn’t sure if you felt the same. In fact, he was convinced that you didn’t. I threatened to tell you about it, but he lost his temper at me and wouldn’t talk to me for ages…we only made up when he realized that it was an empty threat on my part.”

Jongwoon’s vision starts to blur slightly as Sungmin starts crying.

“He would wake up and tell me how beautiful his dreams were, how you were with him every night. He said that it was too painful to wake up and have to remember that you weren’t his, that you date people that weren’t him. I never realized that he thought the solution was just to sleep forever.”

Jongwoon’s tears start to fall as he grasps Kyuhyun’s hand tightly.

“Kyu-ah, come back. Come back to me. I love you, Kyu-ah. I love you.”

The tears that are on Jongwoon’s cheek are rubbed off weakly. Kyuhyun’s eyes are half-open, and his voice is barely a whisper.

“Hyung, please don’t cry.”

And Kyuhyun’s eyes close again.

---

“Hyung!”

Kyuhyun spots Jongwoon by the window of the café, looking out into the distance at the river and the setting sun. Kyuhyun sits opposite him, and orders a caramel macchiato in flawless Italian. The waitress brings it to him with extraordinary speed.

“Why are you here again?”

Kyuhyun smiles as he sips his drink. He wonders why it doesn’t taste as good as the one he had when he was with Jongwoon three years ago. The Jongwoon in front of him looks at him with speculation.

“I think I can be happy there.”

“Yes Kyuhyun, you can. He loves you too. You should know now.”

“I still want to come and say goodbye though. Thanks for keeping me sane all these years.”

Jongwoon scoffs at the word sane. He stares into Kyuhyun’s eyes.

“I’ll always be here for you Kyu. After all, I’m just a figment of your imagination.”

“But I’ve got the real deal now. Reality won’t collapse on me anymore.”

Kyuhyun leans over and kisses Jongwoon. His lips curve upwards as he tastes the bitter americano.

---

Jongwoon absolutely hates it when people barge into his room without knocking. So when light floods into his room, he wants to yell at whoever just intruded. It had taken a long time to coax Kyuhyun to sleep – after what had happened, Kyuhyun refuses to sleep as easily. It was as if his subconscious had become afraid of never waking up again.

Ryeowook smirks at the image of a half-naked Kyuhyun sprawled over Jongwoon, but it soon falters as he sees the murderous expression on Jongwoon’s face.

“Hyung-”

“Do you have any idea how hard it was to get this kid to sleep? I swear, if you wake him up…”

Ryeowook gets attacked by flying pillows, and runs out of the room. The door closes behind him. Kyuhyun shifts slightly in his sleep, but he has a smile on his face and his hand grasps Jongwoon’s tightly. Jongwoon presses a kiss to his boyfriend’s forehead and closes his eyes, letting the slow rise and fall of Kyuhyun’s chest guide him into sleep.

---

A/N: I'm still on hiatus - this was written during my summer - college has been keeping me busy. Do let me know what you think of this! I don't remember what else about this, but yeah. Comments appreciated!

And for everyone who has been patiently waiting for my stuff...I'm so so so so sorry! I'll be writing these few days (promise!) since it's Thanksgiving break and I don't have anything on my agenda. I'll try to post something! There's quite a few ideas floating around in my head, and maybe I'll be able to write something.

Love you all! -sends hearts-

Broken Clockwork: Chapter 5 (An Interlude)

2012-08-31T23:07:54Z

Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4

Chapter 5

An Interlude

Sometimes Sunggyu still thinks he’s sleeping and dreaming when he wakes up, walks out of his room and sees Myungsoo sitting on the sofa watching TV. When he comes back home and Myungsoo walks out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. When the name “Kim Myungsoo” flashes across the screen of his phone and he hears Myungsoo’s voice asking him when he’ll come home. In a way, Sunggyu has been wishing, wanting this for so long. So now that he finally has it, it feels like Sunggyu is permanently trapped in his own imagination.

It seems so surreal that Sunggyu never wants to wake up. It seems like everything he’s ever wanted for had been happening, and he’s afraid that it’ll just all be taken away from him at some point, or that he’ll wake up from this dream. He’s starting to think that the life between the two of them will just fade away one day, and leave him alone.

So when Sunggyu wakes up one day in the middle of the night, after a nightmare, he is surprised to find Myungsoo sitting on his bed. He wonders if this is just a continuation of his dream, but he pinches himself and Myungsoo doesn’t disappear.

“Gyu hyung, I heard you mumbling to yourself and I was worried. Do you want me to stay here tonight? Maybe it’ll ease all the nightmares.”

Sunggyu nods, and leaves out the information that his nightmares have to do with Myungsoo. He smiles as Myungsoo slips under the covers. His eyelids gently flutter and close as he listens to Myungsoo’s soothing voice. Occasionally Sunggyu would mumble a few words in response, but he mostly keeps quiet so that he can listen to Myungsoo talk. Myungsoo talks about everything and anything – from how much he wonders about why he never fixed things to inane things like what his first impression of his new CEO was.

When Sunggyu’s eyelids finally shut, he dreams sweet dreams about ten years ago that has a different outcome. In his dream, Myungsoo doesn’t leave. Myungsoo responds to his desperate confession of love, and tells him seven words that he has always wanted to hear.

“Myungsoo-ah, please. Please don’t do this to us. Don’t do this to Infinite. It hurts me to have you leave us like this. I’m the leader – you can tell me why you need to do this. I’ll help you talk to the CEO, to the manager hyungs, to anyone that can stop your hurt. When you hurt, I hurt. Because I love you. Just don’t do this. I love you. Don’t leave me. I can’t…have you leave me. I don’t know how I’ll go on.”

“I’ll stay, because I love you too.”

When the sun’s rays hit Sunggyu’s eyes, and he wakes up ten years older, the first thing he lays his eyes on is Myungsoo. Sunggyu runs his fingers an inch away from Myungsoo’s face and he tries to memorize every feature. For a minute, he pretends that his dream was the reality, and everything else was a nightmare. Infinite survived and continued for years. All of them are together. Myungsoo loves him back.

But Myungsoo’s suddenly stirs, and Sunggyu forces himself to let go of his dreams. They were the dreams of a love-sick man of twenty-three, not the realistic expectations of a man ten years older who has been hurt time and time again. He forces himself to plaster on a fake smile, and he sits up and shakes Myungsoo gently.

“Myungsoo-ah, it’s time to wake up.”

“Hyung~ let me sleep a little longer please.”

Sunggyu shakes his head as he gets up and pulls on a pair of jeans over his boxers. He heads over to the kitchen to make some coffee. He sits there and stares off into the distance as he wonders if Woohyun was right about him being unable to handle the situation. Maybe he should just kick Myungsoo out of his house, out of his life.

He wonders if his battered heart can take another break. And he decides that it really can’t.

So when Myungsoo comes into the kitchen and gulps his coffee down, Sunggyu smiles slightly and asks him about his own apartment.

Broken Clockwork: Chapter 4

2012-08-17T18:03:36Z

Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3

Chapter 4

When Myungsoo gets back to the dorm, he sees everyone sprawled out on the living room floor sleeping. Sungjong is cuddling his Gyu Bear, Woohyun is using Sungjong’s belly as a pillow. Dongwoo is just sprawled on the floor, and his arm narrowly misses Howon’s face and is instead placed on Howon’s chest. Sungyeol’s long legs are draped over Howon’s legs. Sunggyu is hugging Myungsoo’s bamboo pillow, clinging onto it.

Sunggyu is sleeping closest to the door, so when Myungsoo walks through, he wakes up. He opens his eyes drowsily and smiles as soon as he realizes that Myungsoo came back. He pats the space next to him, inviting Myungsoo to lie down beside him, before going back to sleep.

Myungsoo takes out his phone and snaps a picture before laying himself down next to Sunggyu. The last thing Myungsoo sees before his eyes close is the small smile on their leader’s face.

---

After staring into space for what seemed like an eternity, Myungsoo finally gathered the courage to walk out of his room. The other members had left an hour ago, but Myungsoo felt so guilty that he didn’t want to face Sunggyu yet. Sunggyu, the one who had stood up for him and given him a second chance when the others had condemned him for mistakes he couldn’t even remember.

He twists the doorknob and walks out into the living room. Sunggyu is sitting on the sofa with ruffled hair, and Myungsoo guesses that his hands have been going through his hair over and over again. His eyes seem a little red, but Myungsoo is relieved that they show no signs of having had tears.

He smiles as he remembers how Sunggyu had never been one to cry. He was always the one who had been the other members’ support system, the backbone of Infinite.

“Myungsoo-ah, you’re awake. Do you want something to eat?”

“Hyung…I want to talk to you about something.”

“What is it?”

Myungsoo bites his lower lip as he wonders if he’s rushing into things. Then he remembers that he’s left things as they were for ten years already, and that if he waits any longer, nothing will be fixed.

“I…want to meet the other members. I want to apologize properly.”

Sunggyu sighs and looks at Myungsoo tiredly.

“I had a feeling you might’ve overheard. Woohyun can become terribly loud and obnoxious when he gets mad…as you might remember.”

Myungsoo smiles slightly at how time doesn’t change certain habits, regardless of how far people drift away from each other. He shrugs at Sunggyu, and refrains from making a comment.

Sunggyu pulls out a piece of paper and a pen.

“Okay, so getting the other members to forgive you might need some planning. I swear, it’ll be as hard as waging war. Are you sure you’re ready Kim Myungsoo?”

Myungsoo thinks about how lucky he is to have Kim Sunggyu on his side.

If only Sunggyu will stay with me, it doesn’t even matter if the other members completely forgive me or not.

“I’m ready.”

---

Myungsoo stares at the worn-down building, and wonders for the seventh time if this was the right address. Sunggyu had suggested that he talk to Dongwoo and Howon first – he had come to the conclusion that it would be much easier to get these two to actually talk to them. Dongwoo has always been a softhearted person, and Howon has always been very rigid.

It had always been fortunate that they came in a pair. Otherwise Myungsoo has no idea how he would be able to sort things out with Howon.

He lifts a trembling finger to the buzzer. He had originally pleaded with Sunggyu to go with him, but Sunggyu has shaken his head and said that it was for Myungsoo to do alone. All he can do is support him from the back and fill him in on some details. Myungsoo takes out his phone and quickly sends a text.

I’m going in now. Hyung~ wish me luck!

When the door opens, Myungsoo steps in with a trembling heart.

It’s hard trying to fix your mistakes, but it’s even harder fixing mistakes you don’t even remember making.

---

Truth be told, Myungsoo has always been a little intimidated by Howon’s stare and poker face. Dongwoo is equally as scary when he puts on his “cool” look and doesn’t smile at all.

Myungsoo feels a little like a five-year-old child who has done something wrong. He tries to sit up straight, and look them both in the eyes, but he feels his gaze falter a little bit.

“Why are you here?”

He flinches at Howon’s abrupt question, and clears his throat slightly. Sunggyu had rehearsed this all with him before, pretending to be Howon and Dongwoo. At the time it had seemed a little ridiculous, but Sunggyu was their leader after all. He knew them all better than he knew himself.

“When…I woke up and I didn’t see you guys by my side, I realized how stupid I’ve been. I didn’t remember anything when I woke up, and it was horrifying. 10 years, just gone. And suddenly being told that I not only lost my memories, but you guys too? It…I couldn’t stand it…”

Myungsoo actually starts to tear up – but even so, it is an improvement from before. He couldn’t make it past the second sentence before bursting into tears, and Sunggyu had held him close. But he had chastised him later on – if he couldn’t explain himself properly before breaking down, he would find himself on the doorstep after Howon kicks him out. And Dongwoo wouldn't stop Howon at all.

The taste of blood fills Myungsoo’s mouth as he bites his lip and closes his eyes to stop himself from crying. His hands shake a little as he relives the experience of waking up and finding out that Infinite had disbanded.

Suddenly he feels warmth, and he opens his eyes to see Dongwoo’s hand on his own. Dongwoo looks at him sympathetically.

“Myungsoo…we’re so sorry about what happened to you. But things between us…have changed.”

Myungsoo nods, not trusting his voice. A silence falls over the three of them. As Sunggyu predicted, Howon doesn’t speak at all when he finds himself weakening. Myungsoo sighs, and decides to try and fix things with the two rappers.

“Is there…anything I can do to fix things between us? What have I done before that was so terrible that you can’t even forgive me? Maybe…maybe if you told me, I’d be able to…”

Howon scoffs at Myungsoo’s suggestion, and Dongwoo smiles weakly. Howon just stares off at a wall. Dongwoo turns to look at Howon, but the younger of the two just ignores him. Dongwoo shakes his head slightly and looks at Myungsoo again.

“How much did you hear from Sunggyu-hyung?”

“Just a little bit…he was reluctant to go into too many details, but I know the gist of it.”

Howon mutters something that sounds like “Kim Sunggyu, you stupid fucking idiot,” but Myungsoo isn’t a hundred percent sure. Dongwoo frowns slightly before speaking.

“We had all tried individually to talk to you the night you first suggested disbanding. Sungjong went first, then myself, Howon, Woohyun, Sungyeol and then Sunggyu-hyung. All of us came out crying after talking to you with the exception of Sunggyu-hyung. But…Sunggyu’s story is not ours to tell. Howon do you want to explain to Myungsoo what happened?”

Howon glares at Dongwoo slightly, and the two share a long gaze that seems to speak volumes, a language Myungsoo can’t understand. Finally Howon seems to relent, but he refuses to meet Myungsoo’s gaze.

“I remember walking in, confident that I was going to be able to fix things, that I would be the one who would talk you out of it. But you were just staring me down coolly, as if I was just another reporter at a press conference. You wore that mask of yours. The fans could never tell when it was L or when it was Myungsoo, but we could. And you were talking to me as L, the cool ice-prince who never thought about others. You said some…pretty hurtful words that day, said that people like me were pulling you down and stopping you for reaching the top. I asked if that’s what you felt from the bottom of your heart, and you looked right through me like I wasn’t worth your time, and you replied that it was from the bottom of your heart. I asked how you could say that, believe that and do this to all of us after so long, but you just rolled your eyes at me and told me to get of your room. It was nearly our third anniversary, and the fifth year that we had known each other.”

Myungsoo wants to cover his ears, wants to just dissolve into the air and get taken away by the wind. Howon’s eyes are glazed over slightly, and Myungsoo wants to hug him and apologize a million times to ease the feeling of betrayal and hurt that still sting even ten years after it happened. But he knows it’s too soon to initiate any physical contact – Sunggyu had warned him that Howon wouldn’t appreciate it so soon – so he holds himself back.

“I’m so so so so sorry.”

“It’s too late for sorry.”

“Let me make it up to you.”

Howon finally lifts his head up.

“Myungsoo-ah, it’s nice to have you back…but it doesn’t change much. I forgive you for what happened if it makes you feel any better. I don’t know what triggered it exactly, and I’m sorry that it happened. But you’re apologizing to the wrong person. I’m not the one you need to make it up…”

“Howon, enough. Not our place to say it, remember? We promised him.”

“Whatever.”

Howon falls quiet again, and Myungsoo wonders what he could possibly mean. Had he offended someone else even more? He shudders to think how much more horrible it could be. A small cough from the side brings his attention back to Dongwoo who meets him with a small smile, but it worries Myungsoo as Dongwoo’s eyes were brimming with sadness.

“It’s my turn to tell a story. It’s not about that night though, it was right after we disbanded. It had been a month, and I wondered how you were doing. I asked the other five what was going on in your life, but no one knew. Most of us were all…somewhat preoccupied with another problem of ours, but it had suddenly occurred to me that we didn’t know how you were coping. For us, it was like we lost a limb; we couldn’t even imagine what it would’ve been like to lose six. So I called you time after time after time. But every single time, either it would be redirected, sent to your manager who would make up an excuse about how busy you were or you’d just cut the line completely. So one day, I went to visit your apartment – your mother had given me the address – and I rang the doorbell. But no one came out, so I just sat at your doorstep, waiting for you. At one point, I had fallen asleep, but the next thing I knew, you were standing right next to me, and you had called the guard to take me away. You claimed that I was unwanted, and that you didn’t appreciate having random people outside your apartment.” Dongwoo smiles bitterly at the memory. “I suddenly had turned from beloved hyung to an unwanted random person. It was the last time I tried to find you.”

Myungsoo places his head in his hands, and wonders how he could’ve ever been so cruel to Dongwoo. Dongwoo shifts and sits next to Myungsoo and places a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s okay Myungsoo. We have all made mistakes before. Sure, you fucked up a lot more than people normally do, but that’s okay. You’re back now. It might take a while, but I’m sure things will work out.”

“I just want to fix things. I want Infinite to be together again as a whole. I want to things to be okay between all of us.”

“That’s impossible. But there is one thing you can do that will make us, Sungyeol, Woohyun and Sungjong forgive you completely.”

“What is it?”

“You’ll have to figure it out.”

“You should see Nam Woohyun last if you’re planning on speaking to all of us though.” Howon suddenly cuts into the conversation. Dongwoo smiles and nods approvingly.

Myungsoo feels like he’s on the brink of kneeling down and begging them to tell him what he can do.

“What is it?” He is borderline whining. Howon grins at the desperation in Myungsoo’s voice.

“But that’ll ruin the game. We’ll forgive you if you do this one thing...without anyone else telling you what it is.”

---

Sunggyu stares at Myungsoo bewildered as he recounts what had happened with Howon and Dongwoo earlier that day. He shakes his head and gets up from the sofa and makes his way to the kitchen. He busies himself with food and knives, handling the food flawlessly.

Myungsoo stares at Sunggyu in shock as the potatoes are cut evenly into equal pieces effortlessly.

“When did you learn all that?”

“Ten years is a long time – the weirdest thing is that sometimes new hobbies develop. Hm. I actually have no idea what Dongwoo and Howon are referring to. I guess you’ll just have to talk to them more to figure all of this out.”

“Mhmm I suppose so.”

“What’s going on with your work?”

Myungsoo falls quiet.

“I called my manager today – he said that I need to go to visit the President tomorrow.”

“That’s good. You shouldn’t slack off with work just because you lost your memory. Buy some expensive presents and say that you’re sorry for all the trouble you’ve caused.”

Sunggyu raises an eyebrow at Myungsoo when he doesn’t reply. Myungsoo stares at Sunggyu with a bewildered expression.

“But...how am I supposed to go there when I don’t remember what company I’m with?”

---

A/N: Sorry for a long wait for this chapter! Also, I haven't read through it at all and it's 2am so hopefully there aren't too many mistakes in this. Comments are love~~

Of Closets and Kisses

2012-08-13T09:19:35Z

Title: Of Closets and Kisses
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing: KyuSung (Kyuhyun x Yesung)
Rating: PG
Genre: Fluff, Romance
Length: One-shot
Summary: Sometimes you find love in the most unexpected places.

Prompt: Closets

A closet is a weird place to meet someone, but it’s the place where Jongwoon and Kyuhyun first meet each other. Their closet is just like any other closet – it was filled with clothes, it was made of wood and it is incredibly dark inside. When the doors of the closet are closed, light only manages to stream through the small space between the two doors.

But what’s a little weird about this closet is that it is placed in the hallway rather than the bedroom. It’s close enough to the ballroom that you can easily slip in before anyone notices that you’re gone.

.:--:.

The closet belongs to Choi Siwon’s parents, who insisted on holding a party for all the trainees of SM Entertainment, all the people that their son could potentially be in the same group with. In a way, it was their way of ensuring that their son was not having a rough time with the other boys even though he’s having a tough time with all the training. They issued formal invitations to all the members of the company, inviting SM Entertainment to their house that was on the outside of Seoul where they would hold a grand party in Siwon’s honor.

It is a black-tie event. Their managers and teachers from the company have all sent them to get suited up and had them look presentable. Jongwoon squirms in his seat during dinner, feeling extremely awkward. He comes from a small town in Cheonan, and his parents are barely able to afford the table that he’s sitting at, let alone all of the stuff in the whole house. His jaw had hit the floor when he had first stepped out of the car – he liked Siwon a lot, but he had never realized his family was drowning in money.

Jongwoon had eaten foods that he never even dared to dream about. Mountains of various types of seafood, roasted high-quality beef and a variety of stuff that he can’t even name are served, and his mouth waters. The only thought that occurs to him then is that he wants his parents to be able to eat amazing delicacies like these. As he eats the food in front of him, he hardens his resolve to become famous and earn more money.

But once dinner is over, Jongwoon stands around the punch bowl feeling out of place. Everyone is smiling and nodding, looking every part the lady or gentleman that you see in the movies. For a second, Jongwoon isn’t sure if this is real, or if he’s somehow dreaming about one of the scenes he’s watched before from the big screen.

“Sir, are you finished with that?”

A waiter appears out of nowhere and surprises Jongwoon. He mutters a yes, and picks up another glass from a passing girl who is in charge of handing out champagne flutes.

As he sips the champagne slowly and observes the environment around him, he spots Siwon’s parents walking around and chatting to all the trainees. They’re extremely nice people, but there is something about them that makes Jongwoon feel that he isn’t good enough, that he doesn’t measure up. So as they start edging closer to Jongwoon, he spots the closet and slowly makes his way over.

.:--:.

Kyuhyun hugs his knees as he waits for the orchestral music outside to end. He had been to countless parties during his childhood, and so he had slipped into the closet as soon as dinner had ended. He closes his eyes and patiently waits for everything to end. He used to throw a tantrum whenever his parents tried to put him into “presentable” clothes, but as soon as there were guests, Kyuhyun was on his best behavior. But as soon as he could leave, he would run straight out without any qualms.

The original plan was to come to dinner, and as soon as the social chitchat started, slip out and take the bus back to the dorm and play Starcraft. But Choi Siwon’s parents lived in the middle of nowhere, and there was no bus or taxi or any form of transport that Kyuhyun could take alone. So when he spotted the closet, he decided that he’d rather spend a few hours in darkness alone rather than have to endure all the superficial chatting with polite conversation. He had experienced that numerous times during his childhood, and he was sick of it.

When he looked around, he was relieved to find that no one is paying attention to the area around the closet. He had considered asking Changmin to join him, but Changmin was busy flirting with some of the waitresses. Kyuhyun had rolled his eyes, and slipped into the closet.

Kyuhyun reckons he had been in the closet for around forever when a sudden stream of light blinds him and someone’s body hits him. He wants to kick whoever just intruded on his little paradise, but he knows they would cause a commotion, and two people tumbling out of a closet is bound to fuel gossip.

So instead he covers the other person’s mouth to stop the person from screaming.

.:--:.

When a hand clamps over Jongwoon’s mouth, he wants to scream. He had realized that no one was paying attention to him or the area around the closet, and he had made a run for it. He quickly climbed in and closed the doors, hitting something that he had assumed was a bag of clothes. But judging from the hand stopping him from making a noise, it was actually a person.

So he bit down on the hand to make his assaulter let go of him.

Before he could yell out, a hiss from the person behind him tells him to shut up or else they’d both be found. As his eyes start to adjust to the darkness of the closest, he realizes that he’s sitting on the other guy’s left leg. He quickly mutters an apology and shifts over.

Jongwoon stares at the other guy and realizes that it’s one of the newer trainees that he’s never met officially. He sticks a hand out. The other guy frowns, but shakes his hand too.

“Hi. I’m Kim Jongwoon.”

He barely catches the whispered reply.

“I know. Art-like voice, Yesung.”

Jongwoon grins and is thankful that the closet is dark. Otherwise the other trainee would notice how red Jongwoon is turning. He had never expected that the other trainees would know who he is – after all, he isn’t as high profile as some of the others.

“Thank you for sharing the closet with me. What’s your name?”

.:--:.

Their closet isn’t the biggest closet in the world but it’s big enough that when Kyuhyun and Jongwoon hide in there, their shoulders brush up against each other.

They sit in the darkness in silence, listening to the inhalation and exhalation of each other’s breathing. Kyuhyun glances from time to time at the man sitting next to him. It seems a bit hilarious that the first time he talks to Kim Jongwoon, both of them are hiding from a party in a closet. He had been observing the man next to him from afar for quite some time, but he had never gotten the courage to talk to him. Kyuhyun had been extremely jealous of the fact that Jongwoon had chosen to become close to Changmin.

Kyuhyun lets his arm “accidentally” brush against Jongwoon’s leg.

He wonders if the darkness heightens all his other senses. Kyuhyun’s sense of touch and hearing seems to be extremely sensitive, more so than usual. As he notices Jongwoon’s breathing slowly down and become deeper, he realizes that the older trainee has fallen asleep. He gently tilts Jongwoon’s head so that it is resting against Kyuhyun’s shoulder, basking in the warmth of the proximity between the two of them.

.:--:.

The commotion outside of the closet wakes Jongwoon up. He realizes that he’s leaning against Kyuhyun, and that the younger trainee is also asleep. Jongwoon smiles, and lifts a finger to trace the shape of Kyuhyun’s philtrum.

He wonders why he has never noticed Kyuhyun before – he looked a little familiar, but the name and the face hadn’t registered in his mind when Kyuhyun first introduced himself. He looks a lot younger while he’s sleeping, and Jongwoon can’t help but feel pulled towards the boy who shared a closet with him for three hours.

As Kyuhyun fidgets slightly from Jongwoon’s light, feathery touches on his face, Jongwoon can’t help but chuckle. He leans over Kyuhyun slightly and gently places his lips on Kyuhyun’s. He isn’t sure why he’s doing it, but Kyuhyun is asleep and won’t know a thing.

But arms come around and hold Jongwoon in place, and the lips beneath his start to kiss back eagerly.

.:--:.

The two of them had snuck out when most of the chatter moved away from the ballroom and into the front. Kyuhyun decides that it’s time to move, or else they wouldn’t be able to catch the cars that bring them back to the dorms.

As they emerge from the closet, they bump into a waitress who squeaks and stares at them in shock. Jongwoon waves at her happily, and Kyuhyun wonders if Jongwoon knows why she seems to be so scared. He thinks back to the kisses they shared in the closet, but ultimately decides that it isn’t the time to enlighten Jongwoon about the other activities that they could try in there.

Kyuhyun quickly pulls Jongwoon’s surprisingly small hand into his, and drags him out.

“Where were you guys? We were just about to leave!”

“Sorry hyung, I had a stomache-ache, and Jongwoon-hyung here was looking after me.”

The manager ushers them in without asking any more questions.

Kyuhyun grins as he sits next to Jongwoon, and enters his phone number into Jongwoon’s mobile phone.

“Call me, okay?”

Jongwoon grins.

“Maybe.”

.:--:.

A few years later when Jongwoon asks Kyuhyun to move in with him, the two of them are in their closet again. Siwon was responsible for this particular party, and Jongwoon had wooed Kyuhyun and convinced him to step into their closet.

“Hyung, why are we in here? Only our members are outside, and they know about our relationship.”

“I just wanted some…privacy.”

Something in Jongwoon’s tone made Kyuhyun look at him in surprise. Jongwoon isn’t the type to be flustered and embarrassed easily.

“Why?”

“Kyu-ah, would you like to…move in with me?”

Jongwoon fiddles with his fingers, and almost brings them to his mouth to bite on his nails before Kyuhyun stops him by holding his hands.

“Of course…but don’t you remember when I first joined SuJu? The others forced us to change rooms because we were too loud at night…”

“I’m not talking about the dorm. I’m talking about this apartment that I just bought.”

Kyuhyun’s lips on Jongwoon’s speak louder than words. But Kyuhyun says it out loud, just to confirm it.

“Yes, I’ll move in with you.”

Jongwoon starts laughing, and hugs Kyuhyun tightly in their closet. But after a few minutes of just silently embracing each other in the dark, Kyuhyun suddenly asks Jongwoon a question.

“Do you think Siwon would let us buy this closet from him? I want it in our new apartment.”

.:--:.

A/N: Finally a YeKyu fic! Haha. Hope you guys like this one :) It's a little AU, but with a lot of non-AU facts tossed in. I have no idea how rich Siwon and Kyuhyun's families are, or if the upper classes of Korea throw parties and drink a ton of champagne. Maybe they just drink soju. I have no clue. And is the edge of Seoul even a rich area? Let's just assume it is.

And do you guys get it? Coming out of the closet together? They meet each other IN a closet? Get it get it? No? Nevermind.

Prompted by the awesome allspecialsmile ♥

Broken Clockwork: Chapter 3

2012-08-02T14:56:55Z

Previous Chapters: 1 2

Chapter 3

When Myungsoo wakes up, he hears a loud commotion. He hears Woohyun start laughing like a maniac, and Dongwoo is running around with glee. He rubs his eyes as he walks into Sungyeol in the kitchen.

“What’s going on?”

“Leader made a new twitter! And his username is kyuzizi, so Dongwoo hyung’s super happy.”

Myungsoo grins and runs into Sunggyu’s room. Woohyun is trying to take a photo of Sunggyu for the “proof” that his twitter account is actually his. Howon is in the corner trying to turn his laptop on so he can tweet at the leader. Myungsoo pokes Sunggyu while he tries to upload it up. The leader looks up and grins at Myungsoo, and the smile is almost blinding.

“Ya Kim Myungsoo! I made a new twitter! Write me a message!”

Myungsoo laughs and sticks his tongue out at Sunggyu as he shakes his head. Sunggyu pouts.

“You’re no longer part of Gyu-line then! I refuse to talk to you.” Sunggyu starts to sulk, and even though Myungsoo pokes him repeatedly, he ignores Myungsoo.

“Fine fine Gyu-hyung, I’ll write a message to you!” He takes his phone out and quickly writes a short message.

As Sunggyu receives the notification that he has a new mention, his eyes lighten up and he looks at Myunggyu excitedly. Myungsoo can’t help but hug his hyung.

---

Myungsoo stares at the door in front of him and takes a deep breath. He rings the doorbell and waits patiently, rubbing his sweaty hands on his jeans.

One heartbeat. Two.

The door finally opens, and Myungsoo finds himself standing in front of Sunggyu. Sunggyu sees him and starts to laugh.

“Hi hyung...er, what’s so funny?”

“You’re wearing a plaid shirt.”

Myungsoo frowns in confusion as Sunggyu wipes a tear from his eye. He looks down at his outfit, but he doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with it – after all, it’s what he’s always worn, and he’s pretty sure Sunggyu has never had such a reaction before. As Sunggyu calms down, he grins at Myungsoo and welcomes him into his apartment.

The walls are covered in photos and posters of musicians. Some are signed, but there are a few that aren’t autographed. As Myungsoo stares at all the walls in amazement, Sunggyu coughs and walks into the kitchen as Myungsoo approaches the last wall. And then he realizes that this is a whole wall dedicated to Infinite. Photos and posters of all seven of them, ranging from predebut to their She’s Back days in Japan are present, as well as photos that Myungsoo doesn’t recognize. There are several photos of him on the wall that he doesn’t remember taking, and he wonders if these are photos from the past 10 years. A photo catches his eye, and he realizes it must have been a very recent photo – all six of them are standing in Sunggyu’s living room and posing happily.

“We took that photo a few months ago.”

Myungsoo studies the older versions of the other members, and unconsciously frowns at the fact that they’ve all met up without him.

“Where was I?”

“It’s a long story.”

“Tell me. I have all the time in the world.”

Sunggyu hands him a cup of coffee, and gestures towards the sofa. Myungsoo sits down and waits for Sunggyu to start his story.

“How much do you actually remember? What’s the last thing you remember?”

“I was really tired in my room. I think I might have yelled at Yeol. And then you came in to tell me to go to practice for a comeback. And I didn’t want to. You kissed me on the forehead and told me I could rest for a while. And then everything else after that is blank.”

Myungsoo bites his lip to stop himself from breaking down again. He needed to know what had happened before he could allow himself to have a panic attack. He watches as Sunggyu takes a deep breath.

“It’s interesting that that’s the last thing you remember…because that’s right before the beginning of the disbandment.”

Myungsoo stares at the cup of coffee in his hands and wills himself to sit there and listen to Sunggyu.

“I came in to wake you up after your nap, but you were up already with red swollen eyes. You looked at me and told me you couldn’t go on as an idol anymore. You couldn’t stand the schedules – all you wanted to do was act. You refused to go to practice even though I begged and pleaded with you. You seemed to want to stand by your decision. The next day, the CEO called us into his office, and you were already there with Hyoan. Apparently you had given Woolim an ultimatum – either they release you from your contract with Infinite and allow you to act, or you were going to leave the company and give Infinite a lot of bad publicity. The CEO wanted to discuss with me whether or not we wanted to keep Infinite as a 6 member group. I said no.”

Sunggyu pauses as some of the words become lodged in his throat. Myungsoo’s head begins to hurt.

“What happened afterwards? Why weren’t we in touch?”
“You…became cold and distant. It was like L, that persona you have on-stage, became you even when the spotlight wasn’t on. The other members were hurt but you hit back at them with cold remarks and indifference…and they resented you for breaking Infinite up. They resented me as well for not wanting to continue without you.”

“Why didn’t you continue without me?”

The question makes Sunggyu freeze for a while. For a second, Myungsoo feels apologetic for making Sunggyu relive the terrible times that he apparently had caused.

“It wouldn’t have been right, wouldn’t have been complete. We started off as seven – it would only be right if we ended it as seven.”

Both of them stay quiet for a while. Myungsoo decides to ask another question that has been bothering them.

“So they hated both of us. What happened then? Why did they start talking to you and not me?”

“Do you think L-sshi would have tried to patch things up with them the way I did?”

Myungsoo flinches at the unfamiliar, bitter tone in Sunggyu’s words. Sunggyu seems to realize how harsh his words sounded and he puts a hand on Myungsoo’s shoulder.

“Look. I understand that you were under a lot of stress with both acting and your career as an idol. You couldn’t accept scripts you wanted to, and when you did, the life as an idol also pushed you to your limits. I had been meaning to ask the CEO to push back our comeback for you, but you had already decided to leave. It’s not your fault Myungsoo. It really isn’t. It took a while for the others to come around to how I think, but by then you were already so cold and indifferent to everything. Some of us sent you text messages and e-mails but we never received any replies. I know you’re hurting right now – but the truth is…you broke our hearts first.”

There is a sad resignation in Sunggyu’s voice, and Myungsoo feels his resolve to not cry break. Tears flow from his face as he grabs the nearest pillow and hugs it tightly to his chest. Sunggyu shuffles over and pulls Myungsoo into his embrace. He pats Myungsoo’s head to comfort him as his brain starts to process all the information that Sunggyu has just given him.

---

“Sunggyu hyung?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I live here with you for a while?”

Myungsoo isn’t sure what had overcome him, but he knows he’d rather stay with Sunggyu than go back to that cold and inhuman apartment of his own.

“Why?”

“I don’t like my apartment. Yours is much nicer. Please?”

Myungsoo tries his best to look like a lost puppy dog, and watches as Sunggyu’s face shows mixed emotions.

“Hyung...please? I’m traumatized by losing ten years of my life – so far the only place where I’ve felt truly comfortable is here. Plus, you’ve stalked me for so long…maybe looking at those photos will help me jog my memory.”

Sunggyu’s sigh lets Myungsoo know he’s won and he throws his arms around Sunggyu. Sunggyu makes a groan of protest at the skinship, but Myungsoo knows that he’s smiling.

---

As Myungsoo rolls around on Sunggyu’s spare bed, he suddenly realizes that he essentially knows next to nothing about Sunggyu’s new life.

“Hey hyung, are you married?”

“Nope.”

“No kids?”
“Nope.”

“Why?”

Sunggyu shrugs.

“I guess I never met anyone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with who reciprocated the feeling. Plus, I…don’t like women. Which I think you know. So that’s why I don’t have kids.”

Myungsoo feels his heart wrench slightly at Sunggyu’s words. Sunggyu had once felt love for someone else, someone who wasn't Myungsoo.

“Well, whoever he is – he’s stupid. You’re awesome. If he broke your heart, then he doesn’t deserve your love.”

Sunggyu looks at Myungsoo with a bittersweet expression, and Myungsoo swears he wants to hunt down whoever broke his hyung’s heart and beat them up.

“Thank you Myungsoo. I’m glad you think so too.”

---

The next few days are spent blissfully. Myungsoo, although still a little worried about the memory loss, starts to think it isn’t so bad if it brought him back to Sunggyu. Although Sunggyu is busy with work and concerts, they spend all their free time together. They watched a few of Myungsoo’s movies – Sunggyu had bought all of them – and it’s fascinating watching himself act when he has no recollection of the lines and the plot.

Sunggyu had laughed at how he knew the story better than Myungsoo himself. Myungsoo wonders how many times Sunggyu has watched his movies to know them so well.

---

When Myungsoo wakes up a week later, he hears a commotion outside of his room. He rubs his eyes sleepily as the voices start to increase in volume, and he wonders if Sunggyu had his band members over. He presses one ear against the door and listens to the conversations outside.

“How could you? After all the shit he put us through?”

The voice sounded familiar, but it took Myungsoo a while to recognize it. Howon’s voice. Myungsoo is about to open the door and greet him when other voices make him freeze.

“Kim Myungsoo was a selfish jerk – yet you let him back into your life once he has a car crash and loses ten years? Sunggyu-hyung, are you sure you’re not the one who lost his memory? Do you not remember the shit that he’s said to us before?”

Woohyun sounds furious and Myungsoo decides not to go out. He wonders what kind of harsh words he’s said before to warrant such a response from the hyungs that used to love him so.

“Woohyun-ah, I know it’s hard to understand. But it’s Myungsoo. He’s back. I can’t just say no to him...”

“So you let him back into your house? Did you let him back into your heart again Kim Sunggyu? Are you fucking crazy?”

“You don’t understand! He was crying, he doesn’t remember anything – and he called me Gyu-hyung. I haven’t heard that from him in ten years…”

“Ya Kim Sunggyu, you need help. Just because he acts like how he did before doesn’t mean he isn’t capable of doing what he did before. Don’t you realize that the five of us just want to make sure that you’re okay? We don’t want what happened ten years ago to happen again!”

“Woohyun, stop. I’m sure Sunggyu-hyung has his reasons.” Dongwoo’s voice cuts through Woohyun’s rant. The affection for Sunggyu in Dongwoo’s voice is evident, and Myungsoo feels a stab of jealousy at the fact that the others have remained so close. But he isn’t allowed to feel jealous – after all, he was the one who abandoned them first.

In many ways, this is his punishment for separating Infinite in the first place.

“Hyung – it’s up to you if you want to keep him here. But I don’t want to see him.” Sungyeol.

“I…miss Myungsoo-hyung, but I don’t think I can forget what he said to me ten years ago that easily.” Maknae Sungjong. Even he didn’t want to see Myungsoo.

“See hyung? None of us want anything to do with L-sshi. Why are you being such an idiot?”

Myungsoo wonders how he could’ve possibly thought that things have been sorted out. Now his mistakes from ten years ago are coming back to haunt him.

Broken Clockwork: Chapter 2

2012-07-27T02:37:25Z

Warning: Broken!OT7

Previous Chapters: 1

Chapter 2

The waves lap gently at Myungsoo’s feet as he smiles at how much fun the other members are having. Dongwoo is acting like the fool he is by running around and splashing water all over Howon and Woohyun, and they start a water fight. Sungjong and Sungyeol are trying to outswim each other.

Myungsoo wants to capture this in his memory forever. He feels a poke from behind him and he turns around to see Sunggyu.

“Myungsoo-ah, why aren’t you having fun?”

“I’m trying to remember this forever.”

“This? Why?”

“Because it’s perfect…being here, like this, with everyone.”

Sunggyu becomes a little teary-eyed and punches Myungsoo lightly.

“Yah. We’ll be together. Forever. You know that. No matter what happens, we’ll always have each other.”

Myungsoo pulls Sunggyu into a hug despite the leader’s protests.

---

When Myungsoo wakes up, he is a little disorientated. As he stares at the white ceiling above him, the bizarre memories come flooding back to him. He groans as he tries to sit up, and reaches for a cup of water.

It’s all a bad dream. Any moment now, the members will come rushing in to check on me.

Myungsoo tries to convince himself it was all a bad dream. It couldn’t possibly be 2022. And Infinite couldn’t possibly have been disbanded. Plus, the members had all talked about it. In the hypothetical situation that they break up, they had all promised each other that they would still keep in touch. If Myungsoo had an accident, they would all drop whatever they were doing to come and check on him. Myungsoo was certain of the bonds between the seven of them.

When the door opens, he expects to see the worried face of Sunggyu. Or the swollen eyes of Woohyun, Dongwoo or Sungjong – those three had always been crybabies. Or the nonchalant faces of Sungyeol or Howon, who like to pretend that they don’t care when deep down they do. Instead, Myungsoo sees Soonjin, his manager in the year of 2022.

“I just talked to the hospital staff. They want to do one last scan before they allow you to go home.”

“Okay, sure.”

Myungsoo feels like crying. Nothing makes sense, and he doesn’t even know what to do. So what he does is follow Soonjin to get his head checked.

---

The doctors had told them that there was nothing abnormal. Apparently the car crash had caused mild swelling in a certain part of Myungsoo’s brain, but other than that everything was normal. However, the retrograde amnesia wasn’t normal. The doctors assured both Myungsoo and Soonjin that it wasn’t unheard of for patients to lose some memories when they suffered from a head injury.

But Myungsoo wonders if it is “normal” to lose ten full years of his life.

As he sits in his bedroom, Myungsoo stares into the mirror opposite him. He has aged, and it shows. There was no denying that ten years has passed since he last looked at his own reflection.

Why can’t I remember anything?

Myungsoo presses his hands against his head, and lets a few tears fall. He had looked through his phone, and there hadn’t been any contact information for any of the members. Instead, he sees a list of names of people that he’s only heard of, but never met.

He feels as though he’s been thrown into a life that isn’t his own. Nothing made any sense, and it was the furthest thing from what Myungsoo had envisioned his life in 2022 to be like.

He suddenly spots a laptop in the corner of the room, and he jumps up to open it. He thinks that there may be some answers – after all, he’s an idol and there are bound to have been reports on the disbandment. Myungsoo takes a deep breath as he enters the word “Infinite” into the search engine. He wonders if he’s ready to read about how something that he thought would last forever ended up in pieces. His hand is shaking when he finally clicks the link.

Myungsoo stares at the words in shock.

“…due to differences and conflicting interests” jumps out at him. He frowns and wonders what interests could possibly differ from maintaining the seven. They were Infinite, supposed to last forever. How did it come to this?

He spots a link to the video of the press conference, and he clicks it, hoping for some more answers. He sees the seven of them sitting at a desk. To outsiders, they all seem content and indifferent, but Myungsoo can detect the strained undertones. Reporters bomb them with questions, and Sunggyu does his best to answer all of them without giving away what the root of the problem is.

“Why are you disbanding so soon?”

“There has been…conflicting interests between the members. Not all of us are interested in pursuing a career in music. Some of us want to further ourselves in acting and hosting on variety shows. Some of us want to explore genres of music that we are unable to explore as Infinite.” Myungsoo’s heart breaks as he sees the sadness in Sunggyu’s eyes. There’s a pang in his chest as he sees Sunggyu take a deep breath, and Dongwoo squeezes Sunggyu’s arm to reassure him before he continues speaking. “As a group, I feel that all of us have pushed ourselves to the limit, and we have outgrown Infinite. We have all come to the agreement to disband, and I hope that all of you, as well as all of inspirit, bless us and support us in our future endeavors.”

Myungsoo closes the window. He can’t bear to listen to any more of the bullshit that Sunggyu was spewing out. He needed to talk to the leader badly, but he doesn’t know how. He scrolls down the page to find out what all the members are doing now in the future.

He’s an extremely successful actor. Myungsoo had already guessed based on the list of actors, actresses, scriptwriters and directors that he found in his phone. It was interesting to see a list of films and dramas he’s acted in, but remembers nothing about. He makes a mental note to check out some of his works later after he sorts out what’s going on.

Woohyun and Sungyeol are both in variety now. Both of them are extremely popular MCs for shows that Myungsoo hasn’t even heard of. He frowns as he sees that the two of them are hosts for some of the same shows, and wonders why they’re still in contact with each other, but not with him.

Howon and Dongwoo went to form a hip-hop duo. They had released some good tracks, and there’s a stab of jealousy as Myungsoo notices that both Woohyun and Sunggyu feature on some of their CDs. Why wouldn’t they ask me to record anything? Is it because I’m not good enough as a vocalist? The least they could do was ask me to feature in their music videos…

Sungjong is a model. Myungsoo gapes at how grown up their beloved maknae looks, but he sees why he is so successful as a model and fashion icon. He acts in a few dramas from time to time, but he’s noted as the nation’s fashionista.

And lastly, Myungsoo looks for news on what Sunggyu is doing. The website states that he has a few solo projects on the side as well as a rock band that can be found playing in the Hongdae area from time to time. He has also composed a few songs that have become hit songs for the newest idol groups. Myungsoo is glad that he’s doing well – but then again, he never expected anything less. After all, Sunggyu had always been the one who had the most potential going solo.

There’s a bittersweet taste in Myungsoo’s mouth. He’s glad that all of them are successful in their individual projects, but at the same time he can’t help but feel a little hurt to know that all of the others are still in touch whereas he has no contact with any of them at all.

Myungsoo checks the performance times of Sunggyu’s band, and realizes that they are playing tonight. He goes towards his wardrobe to pick out something casual to wear to Hongdae. He needs to find out what really happened between all of them ten years ago.

---

Myungsoo is wearing black. He was relieved to see that at least half of his wardrobe comprised of the color – at least he knows that no matter how many years pass, some things never change. As he stands among the crowd waiting for Sunggyu to appear, he blends in perfectly with the leather jacket and dark jeans.

Suddenly high-pitched screams fill the place, and Myungsoo looks up to see Sunggyu walk across the stage. His hyung had aged handsomely and was as charismatic as ever. Regret washes over him – why weren’t we growing old together? – but he quickly stops thinking and his jaw drops open as the band starts to perform. He feels his heartbeat speed up as he takes in the eyeliner, the skinny jeans, the way he positions himself at the mic stand and the hair that looks like he’s just had sex. The combination of it all leaves Myungsoo with his jaw open in admiration. But it wasn’t until he realized that Sunggyu is looking at him with a slight frown on his face that Myungsoo’s legs go weak. Somehow Sunggyu had spotted him among the crowd, and soon it seemed to be only the two of them in that room.

The music starts playing, and Myungsoo realizes this is Sunggyu’s forte. He had always been an avid fan of Nell and rock music as a whole, and Myungsoo can tell that their leader is enjoying what he’s doing. The thought that maybe disbanding was better for all of them flitters across his mind, but he shakes the thought away immediately. Nothing was better than the seven together. He stops thinking and instead focuses on Sunggyu’s performance, which he thought was flawless in every way.

---

After Sunggyu’s band had finished playing, Myungsoo tried to make his way through the crowd towards the backstage. He feels a sudden tug on his hand, and he looks into the face of Sunggyu in surprise. Although he’s wearing a hat and a facemask, Myungsoo easily recognizes him under the dim lighting. Sunggyu pulls Myungsoo out of the room, and leads him towards a small café that is closeby.

Neither of them says a word until they’re sitting across from each other.

Sunggyu is studying Myungsoo’s face carefully, and Myungsoo squirms a bit under his gaze.

“Why are you here, L-sshi?”

Myungsoo stiffens at the formality, and it doesn’t escape his notice that Sunggyu has used his stage-name as opposed to his real name. He feels tears start to well up but he forces himself push them back down.

“I…was in a car crash.”

He sees Sunggyu soften slightly and concern is painted on his face, but he keeps quiet and waits for Myungsoo to continue. Myungsoo can’t keep the tears in anymore.

“I lost my memory. The past ten years are gone…”

Sunggyu looks shocked and his eyes widen.

“Ten years? Jesus Christ, that’s…I don’t know what to say.”

“I…remember the seven of us still together. I need answers. I don’t know what happened. It’s all a bad dream. It’s a complete nightmare. I searched up what happened, but I know what you said at the press conference is a load of bullshit. And you called me L-sshi...why aren’t you calling me Myungsoo? Why are the six of you still friends and in contact with each other, but I have none of your numbers?”

Myungsoo breaks down in tears, and Sunggyu gets up from his seat to sit next to him. He places his hands on either side of Myungsoo’s head, and forces Myungsoo to make eye contact with him.

“Shh. Calm down. You’re extremely high-profile right now, you cannot have a panic attack in the middle of a public place.” Myungsoo chokes back a sob as he stares into the eyes of Sunggyu. The hands on either side of his head are gentle.

“Gyu-hyung, I need you to help me. Please. I don’t think I can do this alone.” Myungsoo leans against Sunggyu’s shoulder as the hands that were stroking his hair fall back. This feels like home, Myungsoo thinks. This feels…right.

Sunggyu keeps quiet for a second, but he quietly murmurs the words that Myungsoo desperately doesn’t want to hear.

“I…don’t think I can help you.” Myungsoo feels every cell in his body freeze, and he wants to get away from the coffee shop, away from Sunggyu, so he can be miserable and cry his heart out. But Sunggyu’s next words stop him from pulling himself out of Sunggyu’s embrace and running away.

“But I’ll explain what happened to help you piece that particular puzzle together. Not tonight though, Myungsoo-ah. I think you’ve been through enough already.”

Myungsoo’s heart soars as he hears the sound of his real name from Sunggyu’s lips, and hope floods through him.

---

a/n: Updated! And comments would be lovely~

[100 Drabbles] Elements

2012-07-24T13:37:36Z

Title: Elements (nature dances to no one's rhythm except her own)
Pairing: YeKyu/KyuSung (Yesung x Kyuhyun)
Challenge: 100 Drabbles (Set 12)
Rating: R (blatant “hints” at sex, language)
Genre: Romance, Fluff
Summary: Five 300+w KyuSung drabbles about the nature of their relationship.

a/n: It’s a little hard to sum up five different drabbles in one sentence…

(li)

Water

Jongwoon has always been known to be stubborn and all the other members know already that he’s unbendable. Jongwoon doesn’t compromise, he doesn’t care about what the others want and he tends to go off and do his own thing. But they’ve learnt to accept it as they’ve all been trainees together for years. The other members in Super Junior are already used to the way their main vocalist operates. Jongwoon has always been as solid as a rock, and the other members know that no matter what changes accompany them in the years to come, Jongwoon will always be there to stay constant, stay the same because Jongwoon never changes.

He always sleeps before two am, and wakes up at eight to warm up his voice. He never leaves clothes lying around on the floor, and he definitely doesn’t stay up watching movies.

But when the new member comes and shares a room with Jongwoon, all the members are shocked by the amount of leeway Jongwoon gives the new vocalist. Kyuhyun is messy, games until four in the morning and wakes up at noon if there aren’t any schedules. If it had been anyone else, Jongwoon would’ve kicked him out of the room ages ago. But instead, Kyuhyun lives in his room happily, leaving his jeans and socks all over the floor.

Jongwoon wonders what it is about Kyuhyun that allows him to stray so far from the rules that he’s set his life around. But as Kyuhyun snuggles against Jongwoon as they watch a late-night movie, Jongwoon realizes that Kyuhyun is like the tide. He always comes back even regardless of what you want, the gentle lapping luring you into the sea. The two of them are such opposites – Jongwoon is rock, the unyielding one that never changes and Kyuhyun is the water, the shapeless one that takes on whatever form it can. Water turns the solid earth into mud from time to time, and to make up for it, Jongwoon tries to introduce some stability into Kyuhyun’s life.

But of course, water never stays in one form for long. Kyuhyun can’t keep to a regular schedule. So when Jongwoon kicks Kyuhyun out of his room three months after his arrival, the members are all somewhat relieved that their main vocalist is back to being normal.

However, what they don’t know is that from time to time, Kyuhyun sneaks into Jongwoon’s room to watch a late-night movie with him, and when Jongwoon’s finally asleep, he scatters all his clothes all over the floor. And early in the mornings when Kyuhyun is still wiped out from an intense night of gaming, Jongwoon picks up the dirty laundry lying around and organizes all of his books on the shelf in alphabetical order.

(lii)

Fire

Kyuhyun is afraid of fire – ever since his teens, he has always worried that his heart can’t differentiate between love and lust.

Lust he is well acquainted with – the throes of passion when his body molds with another’s, the light teasing brushes of fingertips and the battle of tongues for dominance. The quickening of heartbeats that accompany stolen glances, the husky moans when their bodies are pushed over the edge. The feeling of teeth being scraped along skin. The feeling of two separate individuals becoming so close to each other that they no longer know where one person ends and the other begins. Those are all feelings that Kyuhyun know very well.

But what Kyuhyun doesn’t know is what love feels like. There have been so many people that he’s been in lust with that he’s always wondered if he’s confused what love feels like altogether. When Kyuhyun asked Jungsu how he knew that he loved Youngwoon, the leader had just patted him on the head and told him that when it comes, he’ll know for sure. He asked his roommate, Sungmin, why he confessed to Ryeowook. Sungmin smiled and told him that he always thinks about Ryeowook, that the most platonic of actions were enough as long as he was with him.

Kyuhyun has always been afraid of confusing the feeling of love with he feeling of lust.

But as he lies on the bed recovering as the fire starts to burn down, he looks over to where Jongwoon is sleeping next to him. One of his arms is possessively around Kyuhyun’s waist, and the corners of his lips curve upwards slightly. Kyuhyun interlocks their fingers together as he stares at Jongwoon’s face, trying to memorize how he looks. He wishes he could freeze this moment in time, still time to keep this memory intact. He feels his heart swell, and a foreign emotion overcomes him so suddenly that he feels lightheaded.

Kyuhyun doesn’t know if what he feels for Jongwoon is “love,” but it certainly isn’t just the fire that he is accustomed to. And as Kyuhyun shifts closer to Jongwoon and his eyelids start to flutter and close, he realizes that love and lust weren’t necessarily mutually exclusive. It was the rush of emotion after the fire dies down that made Kyuhyun think, “I’m not letting this one go” right before he falls asleep.

(liii)

Earth

It has become second nature of Jongwoon to turn to Kyuhyun when he has panic attacks.

Before Kyuhyun’s addition to the group, Jongwoon would either bite his nails in order to relieve stress or drink until he sees the bottom of a bottle so that he forgets all his worries and doubts. He knew it wasn’t good for him, but when he starts to question himself and everything that he’s doing, he would unconsciously turn to these two outlets.

But Kyuhyun stops Jongwoon from biting his nails every time he unconsciously brings his fingers up to his mouth. Instead, Kyuhyun gently kisses him on the mouth to distract him from what he was stressed about. And Kyuhyun lifts all of Jongwoon’s fingers to his mouth and kisses each one in turn.

“Stop doing that. It’s not good.”

Jongwoon’s bad habit gradually goes away.

And when Jongwoon wants to drown himself in his sorrows and alcohol, Kyuhyun would come up with various ways to either distract him, or talk through why Jongwoon is an idiot and shouldn’t second-guess himself. Somehow, Kyuhyun always knows when Jongwoon is down – they’ve spent so much time together that Kyuhyun knows how to pick out all the signs.

When Jongwoon sees haters on the internet who call him ugly, Kyuhyun reassures him that he’s the most gorgeous thing he’s ever laid eyes on (and that’s including Siwon too!). When Jongwoon starts wondering if he should continue with being a member of Super Junior or just leave to run the family businesses, Kyuhyun drags him to the bedroom and reminds him why he can’t leave the maknae. When Jongwoon loses his voice and can’t sing properly, Kyuhyun refuses to sing as well and plays back all the songs that Jongwoon has sung to remind him of how his beautiful voice will sound once he’s recovered.

“Hyung, you’re perfect in every way. Stop doubting yourself so much. You belong in Super Junior.”

Jongwoon starts to believe him.

So when Kyuhyun leaves to China to promote with Super Junior-M, Jongwoon finds himself a little lost. Although he has Hyukjae and Sungmin with him, it isn’t enough to quell the uncertainty that occasionally rises in him. It’s only when he hears the smooth silky voice of Kyuhyun on the phone that he relaxes slightly. Kyuhyun keeps Jongwoon grounded, the one source of stability when he wavers. And when Kyuhyun finally comes home, the overwhelming relief that floods throughout Jongwoon’s body makes him hug Kyuhyun so tightly that the other members have to pry them apart.

(liv)

Air

Possessiveness has never been one of Kyuhyun’s more positive traits. He hated it about himself, but once he felt possessive over something he disliked even the idea of someone else using it. Or being near it for that matter. Maybe it came with being the maknae, or maybe he was just a spoilt brat. But he liked having things tied down to him, and only him.

The same greed applied to people too. Once he realized his feelings for Jongwoon, he hated it when other members came near him after schedules. He would feel jealous when he sees Siwon’s hand on Jongwoon’s shoulder, or Hyukjae laughing about something stupid with Jongwoon or when “Two Woon” was together taking selcas.

Kyuhyun hated himself for it, but there were times when he wanted to cut off Jongwoon’s freedom of interacting with different people. He knows he shouldn’t feel so possessive – “Jongwoon is a person for fuck’s sake, not a possession” – yet Kyuhyun can’t help himself. He would feel angry whenever some members became too touchy, and he would run up and kiss his Jongwoon to remind them all who Jongwoon’s was. The other members would watch with amusement, but they understood his message.

Kyuhyun never realized how miserable he was making Jongwoon until he came home one day to find Jongwoon sitting on the sofa staring blankly into space.

“What’s wrong?”

“Kyu-ah, we need to talk.”
“Hmm?” Kyuhyun leans down to kiss Jongwoon, but Jongwoon pushes him away.

“The other members avoid me because you don’t like it.”

Kyuhyun stares at the floor guiltily as Jongwoon rants on about how he doesn’t want to lose Kyuhyun or his members. He didn’t want to be forced to choose between the two of them. Kyuhyun didn’t realize that his love could be so suffocating, but it seems to be making Jongwoon miserable because it meant he had to keep both sides happy at the price of his own happiness.

“Kyuhyun-ah. I love you. You know that. You’re the air I breathe. If I don’t have you, I can’t live for even a day. But the members…they’re like my water. I can manage without water for three days, but any more and I will die too.”

Kyuhyun kneels down in front of Jongwoon.

“I’m sorry hyung. I’ll stop being jealous. As long as I’m the only one who’s air, I’m good.”

Jongwoon smiles brightly and pecks Kyuhyun on the lips. And he murmurs into Kyuhyun’s ear:

“Okay, I forgive you. No more evil glares at the other members. But you better keep a little distance between you and Sungmin too. I don’t like how close you guys are…you guys are one step away doing what Jonghyun and Taemin did that day on stage…what are you laughing for? I’m allowed to be a paranoid jealous boyfriend too!”

(lv)

Spirit

Truth be told, neither Jongwoon nor Kyuhyun had ever imagined himself married. The life of marriage was one of commitment, of being tied down to one thing. Both of them are free spirits, and the idea of being entwined by vows is frightening.

So as Jongwoon looks at the ring that he took out from the pocket of his jeans, he wonders what had happened to that fear of being tied down to one person for the rest of his life. The platinum band sparkles in the sunlight as Jongwoon stares at the engraving on the inside: KyuWoon. He had originally wanted to use YeKyu, but it seemed a little weird using his stage name for such a private matter. He smiles at how their names merged together.

Somewhere at the back of Jongwoon’s mind, there’s the nagging thought that Kyuhyun may back out and run as soon as he asks him to get married to him, but the romantic in him says that there’s no way his boyfriend would refuse – after all, they mean far too much to each other.

As he hears Kyuhyun’s voice call out from behind him, he feels the adrenaline pump through his body and he turns around. The smile on Kyuhyun’s face is almost blinding, and Jongwoon feels his heart soar just by seeing his boyfriend so happy. Jongwoon takes a deep breath as Kyuhyun walks over, and he holds the ring up.

“What’s this?”

“Cho Kyuhyun, will you marry me?”

“…no.”

Jongwoon narrows his eyes at the man in front of him, who currently has a smirk plastered across his face.

“Why not?”

“What kind of half-assed proposal was that? You didn’t even kneel!”

“But you’re a guy. It’d be weird if I knelt.”

“I won’t say yes until you give me a heart-stopping, romantic proposal that sweeps me off my feet.”

“…are you a girl? Did dressing up as a woman on SNL get to you?”

“Shut up. You know perfectly well that there’s a lot of testosterone in this body.”

Jongwoon doesn’t understand how his proposal had turned into bickering, but it seemed that it was always like this between the two of them. He sighs and gets on one knee.

“Cho Kyuhyun, will you marry me? I want to spend the rest of my days with you, and even when we’re apart I want you to wear this ring – a symbol that you belong to me, a symbol that part of my spirit is with you all the time at the one part of your body that is closest to your heart. I can’t imagine living without you. I promise that I’ll do all that I can to ensure that you’ll be the happiest man alive, and that you’ll never shed a single tear.”

Jongwoon cringes at how cheesy his words are, but as he looks up into Kyuhyun’s eyes, he sees that his boyfriend is teary-eyed. Jongwoon softens at how Kyuhyun is touched by his words. Kyuhyun whispers the one word that Jongwoon is dying to hear, and he takes Kyuhyun’s hand to slip on the ring.

“It fits perfectly.”

“Yeah, I measured the circumference of your finger while you were asleep last night.”

Kyuhyun glares at Jongwoon.

“Must you ruin the atmosphere?”

Jongwoon shrugs, and pulls Kyuhyun into a kiss under the summer sky. Kyuhyun leans against Jongwoon, and smiles as the words about how the wedding ring symbolizes Jongwoon’s spirit being close to his heart sinks in. Although the rational part of his brain knew that there’s no such thing, there was a comfort to knowing that they’ll be together even though they are physically separated by distance during their years of conscription and waiting.

-------------------------------

a/n: A little note about how I interpreted these prompts: I didn't want to take them too literally, so I tried to take the properties of each element and somehow relate them to the drabbles. The first one is a bit of a mix of earth and water, and there's a bit of a stretch for describing Jongwoon as an anal retentive OCD guy, and Kyuhyun as the messy disorganized one. But I felt like it would be an interesting to swap it around for once. I know it's a little out of character for both of them, but bear with me :) The thing about water I wanted to focus on is flexibility. Fire is passion and lust. Earth is stability. Air is freedom.

I think I also included some double interpretations. Both air and water is also a necessity to life. Earth is inflexible.

I'm rambling a bit. Ignore me.

Oh, and L is the roman numeral for 50. so LI = 51. Just in case anyone's wondering.

So I hope you like these! And leave me a note on which one was your favorite :)

Broken Clockwork: Chapter 1

2012-07-16T03:54:01Z

Title: Broken Clockwork
Fandom: Infinite
Pairing: MyungGyu (Myungsoo x Sunggyu)
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst, Romance
Summary: Myungsoo is sick and tired of his continuous and tiring schedules and wishes he no longer needs to deal with the tiring life of an idol. But he realizes a little too late that he should be careful of what he wishes for.

Warning: Broken!OT7

Chapter 1

All the bones in Myungsoo’s body ache as he pulls himself out of the car and into the building of their dorm. It had been a full day of filming and schedules, and he thinks he’s only slept for two hours for past three days. He can hardly keep his eyes open. Fans outside shove presents at him, and he mumbles thanks to them as he gratefully accepts the packages.

“Myungsoo!” He hears the chirpy voice of Sungyeol as soon as he enters through the door. “The managers want us to go to the practice room tonight. They want us to start preparing for our comeback.”

Sungyeol flinches as Myungsoo slams the door in his face. He collapses on the bed, and wonders why he thinks he wanted this lifestyle. Sure, the popularity and fame was nice, but was it worth it being this tired all the time?

Myungsoo doesn’t get up when he hears the soft knocking on his door. The door creaks open, and a ray of light floods in as Sunggyu pokes his head in.

“Myungsoo-ah. Can I come in?”

“Yes.”

Sunggyu carefully closes the door behind him, and comes and sits on the bed.

“Are you okay?”

“Hyung, I’m just tired. I had two hours of sleep these past three days.”

“I know, I know. But our comeback is soon. I promise we won’t work you hard. At least go and look at Hoya’s moves so that you can catch up easily later on. This practice isn’t an option...”

Sunggyu leans over and gently places a kiss on Myungsoo’s forehead.

“Take a nap. I’ll come and get you when you need to go.”

Myungsoo doesn’t make a sound as Sunggyu leaves the room. He feels like crying – the managers did nothing to reduce the amount of schedules he had, and now they have an impending comeback. It wasn’t fair that he was the only one who had to do everything.

He stares at the ceiling and wishes that he is no longer an idol. Although he loves Infinite, he doesn’t think he’d be able to survive. He wishes that no longer has to deal with these schedules.

As his eyes shut and sleep overtakes him, he wishes that he is ten years in the future when he no longer has to attend countless photo shoots and prepare for comeback stages one after another.

One of the packages that a fan gave him starts to glow in the corner of the room.

---

As his eyes flutter open, Myungsoo’s first thought is that the boys moved him to the practice room when he was sleeping. The ceiling is not the one in his room, and everything seems brighter and…white.

“He’s awake!”

He tries to get up, but his body still aches. He groans and suddenly hands appear out of nowhere to fuss over him.

“Guys, I’m just tired. It’s not like I’m disabled…” Myungsoo’s voice trails off as he sees the face of a stranger peering at him. The stranger helps Myungsoo lean against the wall behind him. He takes in his surroundings and realizes that he’s in a hospital, his eyes widening in surprise.

“Hi, L-sshi. I’m Dr. Lee. Do you know remember what happened?”

“No…all I remember is being in my room – where are the others? Sunggyu-hyung?”

The nurses exchange worried looks, and the doctor frowns.

“L-sshi, what year is it?”
“It’s 2012…isn’t it?”

The doctor sighs and sits down on the bed.

“L-sshi, you were in a car accident on your way home from filming. I think your head may have been injured and you might have lost some of your memories. The year is 2022.”

Myungsoo stares at the doctor in disbelief. 2022? He forgot 10 years of his life? It seemed surreal, and he doesn’t know what to do. He wants to talk to the members about what has been going on. He pales suddenly as he remembers that he was in a car crash – were the others filming with him? He grabs the hand of the doctor.

“Where are the others? Are they okay? Were they in the car with me?”

“You were the only one in the car at the time.”

“Oh thank god the members are okay. Where are they now? They must be so worried…”

The doctor clears his voice, and stands up. He looks at Myungsoo sadly but doesn’t say a word. A nurse from the side murmurs something that Myungsoo barely manages to hear:

“Oh the poor child still thinks Infinite is together…”

Myungsoo faints.

---

When he regains consciousness again, his face is wet from all the tears. He doesn’t understand what is happening anymore. He sees a man sleeping by his bedside, and for a second he thinks that it was all a dream, that Woohyun is by his side. But when he reaches out to wake the man, he realizes that it isn’t Woohyun.

“L! Thank god you’re awake.”

“…who are you?”

The man stares in shock at Myungsoo for a second, but then he smiles again. Myungsoo narrows his eyes, and wonders how he could’ve mistaken this man for Woohyun. They look nothing alike, but there is a slight resemblance from the side profile. He shakes the thoughts from his head, and turns to the man, waiting for an introduction.

“I’m your manager, Kang Soonjin. The doctor warned me that you would have issues with your memory…I’m so sorry that this happened L. The driver should’ve been more careful – I already fired him.”

“Why did you fire him? I doubt he crashed on purpose. Is he hurt?”

Soonjin frowns at him slightly.

“He had some external injuries. I fired him because he hurt you…”

“Don’t fire him. I’m sure he’ll be more careful next time.”

“Uh…okay.”

Myungsoo rubs his head slightly. He needs to find out what happened to Infinite. And he needs to talk to Sunggyu – Sunggyu would know what to do.

“Hyung. I want to go home.”

TBC.

a/n: My first attempt at an Infinite fic (as well as chaptered), so I hope you guys show a lot of love :) It's a little different from what I normally write, so feedback would be appreciated!

What is Love?

2012-06-10T15:36:28Z

Title: What is Love?
Pairing: YeKyu/KyuSung
Rating: PG
Genre: Fluff, Romance
Disclaimer: Don't own anything other than the writing and the kinda weird plot.
Summary: Jongwoon never expresses what he feels, and Kyuhyun starts to doubt Jongwoon’s love for him. That is, until Hyukjae and Donghae suddenly pop up one night…in tutus.

Happy birthday nytslyer03♥

It isn’t until the day before their first anniversary that Kyuhyun starts to doubt Jongwoon’s feelings for him. They have been officially dating for a year already, but Kyuhyun has been in love with Jongwoon since as long as he can remember. He had kept all his love for his hyung bottled up, and one day it had all exploded in his face. He had dragged Jongwoon out and yelled at him, accidentally spewing out “I love you so much, so why can’t you love me back?” Jongwoon had stared at him wide-eyed. Once his shock had passed, he had grabbed Kyuhyun’s face and pressed his lips on Kyuhyun’s. Kyuhyun had assumed that Jongwoon loved him back.

But it’s been a year, and Jongwoon still hasn’t said the three words that Kyuhyun wants to hear most. Kyuhyun groans as he kicks off his shoes and lies on the bed. He absolutely hates how Jongwoon seems to have the upper hand. He had always wanted to believe that there was no such thing as one person was always the “man” or “woman” in the relationship, because it meant that he was the “woman” – after all, he was the one who always wanted to talk about their feelings, the one who would drag Jongwoon out on dates, the one who remembered all their anniversaries. Their first year anniversary is tomorrow, yet he hasn’t seen Jongwoon anywhere the entire day. He takes his arm and covers his eyes in frustration as he gradually becomes drowsy.

Suddenly, Kyuhyun feels something prod him from the side. He moves his arm away from his face and opens his eyes slowly. Two blurry circles in front of him start to sharpen and he focuses on the worried faces of Hyukjae and Donghae. He sits up quickly and stares at his two hyungs. Both of them smile brightly, relieved that Kyuhyun’s awake.

“What the hell?”

Hyukjae and Donghae are both wearing an assortment of weird clothing: Hyukjae is donned in dark blue leggings, a bright orange t-shirt and a green tutu whilst Donghae is wearing red leggings, no top and a yellow tutu. Both of them are also wearing florescent-colored wings. Kyuhyun narrows his eyes in disbelief as he rubs his eyes, making sure that he isn’t imagining the scene in front of him. When he finishes, they’re still there. Kyuhyun gives up and waits for the bizarrely dressed hyungs to explain things.

Donghae coughs and clears his throat. He seems a little nervous, but with a nudge from Hyukjae, he smiles again.

“So uhm, I’m sure you’re wondering why we’re here…”

Another poke from Hyukjae. Kyuhyun hears the word “script” being hissed out at the stammering Donghae.

“So we’re here because we know you’re having some doubts about love…”

“And we’re here to put all those worries to rest!” Hyukjae finishes off with a smile.

Both of them look at Kyuhyun expectantly. Kyuhyun still can’t fully comprehend the situation and just stares at Hyukjae and Donghae. Donghae seems a little flustered, but Hyukjae walks over to Kyuhyun and sits next to him on the bed.

“We know you have your doubts about Jongwoon-hyung. So we’re here to put them all to rest.”

“Why the hell are you guys dressed like that?”

“We’re not the real Hyukjae and Donghae. We’re just manifestations of your mind to come and put your worries at rest. So would you like our help?”

Kyuhyun stares at Hyukjae and then looks at Donghae, who’s fiddling in the corner nervously.

“I must’ve been drugged. But sure, manifestations of Hyukjae-hyung and Donghae-hyung. Entertain me. After all, that’s what narcotics are for, right? Eugh.”

Hyukjae claps in delight while Donghae runs over and gives Kyuhyun a hug. The maknae sighs and wonders what he’s gotten into.

---

When Donghae claps his hands three times while twirling around, Kyuhyun finds himself transported to their old dorm. He sees Sungmin and Ryeowook lounging on the sofa while watching TV. He sees a younger version of himself in the kitchen, flustered by all the recipes and the vegetables that are laid out on the table.

“This is a month after you arrived at our dorm. You were in charge of cooking, and Jungsu-hyung had finally told you to stop cooking ramen.”

Kyuhyun smiles at the memory – it had only been five years ago, yet it seems like it had been forever. It had taken a while for the hyungs to start spoiling him like mad. They had been horrible to him at first, but soon they had let Kyuhyun into their hearts and they all gave him the royal treatment. Ryeowook was better at cooking anyhow, and they soon got tired of eating burnt vegetables and dry ramen.

The snap of Hyukjae’s fingers wakes Kyuhyun from his reminiscing, and Hyukjae points to the hallway. Kyuhyun gasps in surprise as he sees Jongwoon staring from the corner at him. Jongwoon stands there, staring for quite a while before he clears his throat and suddenly walks towards the younger Kyuhyun in the kitchen.

Do you need any help with that?

Oh, hyung. No, it’s okay…I can manage.

Are you sure? I can help you…

No no, I can manage.

Kyuhyun winces as he sees Jongwoon’s hurt expression. Ryeowook sees Jongwoon’s crestfallen face and walks over, hugging him. The younger Kyuhyun turns around and sees the hug, and Kyuhyun wants to punch his younger self for having such a blatant look of longing on his face.

“Ryeowook is comforting hyung because he knew that hyung wanted to approach you…you were blind to see how badly he wanted to. Now that you think about it, hyung never helps anyone with cooking, only with eating. As if he’d ever care about the cooking process – he eats anything given that it’s edible.”

---

Another three claps, and Kyuhyun is brought to a hospital. Jongwoon is sitting by a wall, staring dumbly at the wall with red swollen eyes. The doctor comes and announces that Kyuhyun has finally regained conscious. Jongwoon grabs his necklace tightly and tears start streaming from his eyes again.

“Jongwoon punched Jungsu on the day of the accident as soon as he realized that Jungsu was unharmed and you were comatose. He blamed Jungsu for not being about to protect you.” Donghae stares at Jongwoon’s tears sadly. Kyuhyun feels his own tears making their way down his cheek as he kneels down beside Jongwoon on the cold hospital floor. He can still remember that darkness, the fear that he would never see Jongwoon’s face again. And when he had woken up and when he didn’t see Jongwoon’s face in the room, he had felt a little part of him die. But now he knows why he didn’t see his beloved hyung’s face in the hospital room. Jongwoon kneels on the floor and prays, thanking God for returning Kyuhyun to him, for not taking Kyuhyun away from him.

Kyuhyun stares dumbly at the scene in front of him, at the tears of relief that are flowing freely from Jongwoon’s eyes. He has never seen Jongwoon cry in so many years, and seeing him like this was tearing him apart. He clutched at his heart as he choked out a couple of words at his fairies.

“Take me away from here…I can’t bear it to watch this anymore.”

Hyukjae puts his arms around Kyuhyun as he sobs while Donghae solemnly stands up and starts to clap.

---

Kyuhyun is a little embarrassed when he hears Hyukjae and Donghae snicker when they see the younger Kyuhyun and Jongwoon kiss underneath the cherry blossoms. He hides his face in his hands until he feels Donghae gently slap him on his arm.

“Dude, we need to follow hyung.”

Kyuhyun follows the “fairies” as they walk down the path. Cherry blossom petals gently fall from the sky, and Kyuhyun looks back at his past self who is still lost in a daze, looking up towards the sky. He hears a chuckle, and sees Jongwoon stare at his former self with love in his eyes. The moment is soon gone though, and Jongwoon hurries back towards the dorm.

The maknae is unsure of why his hyungs insist on following Jongwoon, but it isn’t until they reach Jongwoon’s room that he hears loud singing. He looks at his boyfriend with confusion as he sings the lyrics to Big Bang’s Sunset Glow while dancing horribly. Kyuhyun laughs awkwardly while suffering from secondhand embarrassment, but Hyukjae and Donghae look at Jongwoon fondly.

“See how happy hyung is? Do you really need words for him to affirm his love for you?”

Kyuhyun shakes his head while Hyukjae dances next to Jongwoon. Donghae starts to clap again.

---

Kyuhyun opens his eyes groggily and sits up slowly. Hyukjae and Donghae had taken him through all the small moments he shared with Jongwoon, pointing out all the ways in which his boyfriend had practically screamed out the words “I love you” to him. The time when they went stargazing, the time Jongwoon had cooked him breakfast, all the times Jongwoon had been more excited for Kyuhyun’s birthday than Kyuhyun himself, the time Jongwoon had spent days finding the perfect necklace to give him.

Kyuhyun finally understood that it wasn’t that Jongwoon didn’t love him; it was just that Jongwoon had a different way of expressing that love. People value words much more than they needed to, and it was the small actions and thoughts that counted. Love wasn’t just one big thing - it was made up of several little things. And each little piece of Jongwoon’s love added up to that big thing that Kyuhyun thought was love.

Kyuhyun’s mobile suddenly lights up, and he grabs it from his dresser.

Hi maknae! Meet me underneath the cherry blossoms? I have a surprise for you.

Kyuhyun grins and quickly grabs a pair of jeans and shirt. He walks out of the dorm and sees Hyukjae gulping down pancakes at the kitchen table while Ryeowook is cooking. The maknae flings himself on Hyukjae and hugs him tightly.

“Kyu? What the hell is wrong with you? I’m not Jongwoon hyung…”

“I know. I just wanted to thank you.”

Hyukjae looks at him, puzzled.

“For what?”

“For wearing that damn tutu.”

“Tutu? Kyu…do you need a doctor?”

“Nope, never felt better. I’ll see you guys later!”

Hyukjae grins as Kyuhyun runs off happily to celebrate his first anniversary with Jongwoon. He quickly pulls out his phone and texts Donghae:

I told you the tutus were necessary – Kyu doesn’t suspect a thing.

---

A/N: Happy birthday Ronnie!! My fellow 93 liner Gemini YeKyu/KyuSung shipper! (I know, there's actually a lot of us out there keke). I was going to write this whole fic that was depressing and full of angst, but seeing the stuff that you've been posting, god knows you need something fluffy and a little..weird. So I humbly present this fic to you, hoping you don't find it too lulz-y and random, and I hope you don't hate me for putting EunHae in tutus and having Donghae topless and...yeah. I'm kinda bad at crack lulz. fail!Nana.
Anyways, may this year be freaking awesome, and may you spawn even more fics! I hope you find yourself soon, and that you aren't overwhelmed with school and what-not. And remember, no matter how bad things may seem, you always have people behind you who love & support you (*coughcough*LIKEME*cough*) xD

To everyone else: I have no idea what I was thinking when I was writing this orz. Why are EunHae able to travel through Jongwoon & Kyuhyun's memories? You tell me. Lmao.

P.S. Just a note on how Kyu doesn't like how he's the "woman" in the relationship - it's not that I think there's always a "woman" in a gay relationship. I actually don't. For starters, I suck at expressing my feelings, and I'm pretty sure I'm a woman. I think that in a relationship, everything is balanced, and it's about complimenting each other's flaws. For example, if someone sucks at expressing how they feel, they will inevitably be drawn towards someone who doesn't. So just because Kyu is portrayed as the one who craves the words "I love you" doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't top. Although personally Jongwoon tops in my mind because he's my ~~husband~~ bias. In all honesty, the liberal arts student in me just has a problem with writing that Kyu is the "woman" in the relationship because that's somewhat sexist and biased and all sorts of wrong. Women are allowed to be unemotional - it's not solely a male trait. I am, in a way, poking fun at the whole concept of having a "female" in a relationship since Kyuhyun is (if pictures of his crotch indicate anything) male.Yeah. Just wanted to clear that up - and hence the mini-rant at the end. Whoops. I'm impressed you guys stayed with me this long.

Starlight is Falling

2012-05-24T11:32:31Z

Title: Starlight is Falling
Pairing: YeKyu/KyuSung
Rating: PG
Genre: Fluff, Romance
Disclaimer: Don't own the boys, or else they'd be in holding a private Super Show 4 for me now.
Summary: What-ifs, alternate realities and a lot of speculation. But Jongwoon ultimately "proves" to Kyuhyun that loves always finds a way.

Happy birthday allspecialsmile! ♥

A light breeze blows through the playground, and Jongwoon shivers slightly from the cold. He can’t hear much apart from the sounds of the distant traffic and the creaking from the swings, and he doesn’t break the silence as Kyuhyun leans over and interlocks their fingers. He looks up to the stars, and studies the various constellations. He spots Polaris, his favorite star, shining brightly in the night sky. Memories of how he first opened up to Kyuhyun flood his brain, and he smiles to himself as he thinks back to six years ago when the maknae first joined the group. Jongwoon tightens his grip on Kyuhyun’s hand, and closes his eyes.

“Why do you ignore me? I know you secretly look after me, so why do you act like I don’t exist?”

Because…if I didn’t ignore you, I don’t think I would be able to control myself.

“Do you think we would’ve met and fallen in love if I didn’t join Super Junior six years ago?”

A quiet question cuts through the night, and Jongwoon slowly opens his eyes and looks at his boyfriend in surprise. It wasn’t a question that he had ever thought about, and his brows furrow as he thinks of what an appropriate answer for Kyuhyun would be.

“Hm. What do you think?”

“I…don’t think we would’ve met.”

Jongwoon chuckles at the answer Kyuhyun gives him, even though it catches him by surprise. He would’ve thought Kyuhyun, out of all people, would naïvely believe that they would’ve met regardless of any decision they made during their lives. He swings back and forth as they settle into silence again, although it is no longer the comfortable tranquility that they shared a while ago. Jongwoon swears he can feel how upset Kyuhyun is at the notion that they wouldn’t have met. Although Kyuhyun is mature, he sometimes could act like a child.

“I just want you to acknowledge my existence from time to time. Is that so hard?”

Acknowledging your existence isn’t hard. The hard part is pretending that I don’t care about you when I do.

“Well, I think we would’ve met no matter what.”

Kyuhyun lifts his head up in surprise at Jongwoon’s bold declaration.

“Think about it this way – you would’ve become a doctor if you hadn’t decided to pursue your dream of becoming a singer, am I right?”

“Yes…”
“So Dr. Cho. In an alternate reality, where it is still May 2012, imagine this. You’ve been working as a doctor at a fancy hospital in Seoul…maybe Seoul National University Hospital for quite some time. I would still be a singer – maybe not part of Super Junior as we know it, but some variation of it. I’m most likely just as clumsy as I am now. How do you think we would meet?”

Jongwoon smiles as he watches Kyuhyun ponder the question seriously, and he feels his heart soar as a grin breaks out on Kyuhyun’s face.

“You’d probably break a bone from falling off-stage, and I’d be the doctor operating on you! Then we’d meet!"
"And you’d fall in love with me at first glance while I’m knocked out from the anesthesia, and stalk me in the hospital while I’m recovering. And I’d take pity on you and agree to a date.”
“Oh please, you’d wake up and fall in love with me immediately and beg one of the nurses for my number.”
“In your dreams.”

“We’re part of a team, and as a team we need to work together. Do you hate me that much that you can’t even work with me?”

It’s not hate, you idiot. It’s love. A love that I’m not allowed to express.

They fell silent again. Kyuhyun was staring at the city lights in the distance when he suddenly turns to Jongwoon.

“Hyung! What if…you never became a singer? Then we wouldn’t have met!”

Jongwoon wonders why Kyuhyun is so fixated on this whole “problem” when it clearly will never happen. But he still thinks back to his high school years to try and get rid of all of his boyfriend’s unnecessary worries.

All his life, he has always known that he wanted to be a singer. But he never thought he would be able to achieve his dream until his mother forced him to join that singing competition all those years ago. He thinks about what he would do if he didn’t sing, and the only thing that comes to mind is running Handel and Gretel with his family.

“I probably would’ve opened something similar to Handel and Gretel. And you, being the coffee addict that you are, would walk straight into my clutches. I’d find you cute, and write my number on the cup for you. You’ll call me because I’m irresistible, and we fall in love, et cetera.”

“Oh please, as if I’d call you when I first meet you – you’re so weird and awkward.”

“Awkward? Me? I feel offended.”

“You’re so nice to the other members…and I can’t help but feel jealous.”

But why are you jealous when the one who has the biggest piece of my heart is you?

“But hyung…”

Jongwoon sighs and wonders what problem that Kyuhyun has discovered now.

“What if I went overseas? To study in Japan on something…?”

Kyuhyun’s eyes widen in horror, and Jongwoon tries to maintain a straight face when all he wants to do is laugh at how serious Kyuhyun is.

“Well, remember your subway theory?”

“That I’d meet my true love on the subway?”

“Yeah. Well, remember how I like to ride the subway in Osaka? You’d probably bump into me while I was enjoying my freedom from all the fans I have in Korea. And immediately fall for my good looks as soon as I touch your philtrum.”

“Hyung you’re so ridiculous. You do realize how unlikely it is that it’d ever happen?”

“But we’re meant to be together. Love always finds a way!”

“You’re such a cheeseball.”

“You know you love it.”

Kyuhyun pokes Jongwoon as they both start laughing hysterically. As the laughing subsides, they fall into a comfortable silence once again. Jongwoon starts to observe the stars again.

“All I want to do is understand how you think. I can’t tell what’s in that head of yours.”

I know you don’t understand how I think or feel, because if you did we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.

Although neither of them is speaking, Jongwoon knows that Kyuhyun is also thinking back to five years ago when they met at this very playground. Jongwoon smiles as he remembers how the maknae had finally lost his temper at him after joining the team for a year.

Jongwoon can still remember how hard his heart had flipped when he first saw the newest member. He felt as though he couldn’t breathe, and the first thought that came to his head was oh shit, this couldn’t be happening. He gradually fell in love more and more as he got to know the maknae, even though he had ignored Kyuhyun completely. It didn’t help that Kyuhyun desperately tried to get his attention, the attention of the one hyung that kept disregarding him. Jongwoon smirks as he remembers how his baby maknae even tried to do aegyo on him – it was extremely difficult to maintain a straight face when all he wanted to do was laugh.

It took a year before Kyuhyun gave up on trying to please Jongwoon. He marched into the dorm one day and grabbed Jongwoon’s hand. He dragged Jongwoon out to the playground nearby. Jongwoon was too shocked to respond and just waited for Kyuhyun to speak. Kyuhyun had taken a deep breath and vented out why he found Jongwoon annoying and why he didn’t understand why Jongwoon didn’t like him. How he didn’t understand why he still fell in love with Jongwoon when Jongwoon treated him so terribly.

Neither of them is speaking, but Jongwoon knows that both of them are thinking the same thing: thank god I found him this way, because who knows how much longer it would’ve taken if it were any other way.

“I don’t understand why you treat me so badly. And I don’t understand why I still love you even though you treat me badly.”

“Because deep in your heart, you know how I feel about you.”

The sudden vibration of Jongwoon’s cell phone jolts him from his reminiscing, and he quickly checks the message.

“Jungsu-hyung wants us back at the dorm – he says Kibum, Hangeng and Heechul just arrived. We better get going…it’s been ages since all fifteen of us had dinner together.”

Jongwoon pulls Kyuhyun up from the swing, and is about to turn around to head back to the dorm when Kyuhyun whisks him around again. He feels Kyuhyun plants a kiss firmly on his lips, and both of them melt into each other. Their surroundings disappear until only starlight is falling around them.

“Happy anniversary Jongwoonie-hyung. I love you.”

“Kyu-ah, I love you too.”

---

A/N: Bon anniversaire allspecialsmile! Je suis très désolé que cela soit publié aussi tard, mais j’espère que tu l’aimes :)

Okay I'm going to stop writing French since I'm totally out of practice (forgive me if I used the wrong tenses...). Anyways, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I've been cursed with writer's block, so I hope you find this okay :P Je t'aime!!

Anyways, thanks for always giving such supportive comments. I'm pretty sure this isn't my best, so I feel really bad, but I'll make it up to you by writing more this summer :)

And hi everyone else! I'm back...ish. Hope you guys are all enjoying the lovely summer :)

Oh, and I'm now on Twitter...ha. Thanks to Rhen. So if you guys are on Twitter, come and give me a shout @ piikanana :D

Subtle Visitor

2012-02-14T18:02:50Z

Title: Subtle Visitor (you arrive in the flower and the water.)

Pairing: Kyuhyun x Yesung (KyuSung, YeKyu)

Rating: PG

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Fantasy

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the gorgeous men in this fic or the beautiful, beautiful poetry of Pablo Neruda. I own everything else though.

Summary: Sometimes fantasies are much more romantic than reality, but does it necessarily mean that they are better?

---

Fate has strange ways of bringing people together. People often talk about that invisible red string that connect the smallest fingers of two people who are meant to be together or the cupid who shoots arrows at two that are destined to fall in love.

But what is love? What are soul mates? Plato presented the idea that humans were originally had four arms, four legs and a single head made of two faces, but Zeus separated them, condemning them to spend their entire lives searching for their other half. Love is the cure to that loneliness of being separated from your other half, the emptiness that people feel when they see others so very much in love. All our lives, we crave for someone who understands us completely, who loves us despite our flaws. All our lives, we search for our other half, the one person who we feel complete with.

Sometimes, we never find that person. After all, there are around seven billion people living in this world. Sometimes, although we may not be a hundred percent compatible with someone, we try and make things work. Sometimes, we fall in love with someone who isn’t our soul mate, but we learn how to become their other half instead.

Then again, some are lucky and find their soul mates. From time to time, fate is known to intervene and bring two together.

You are like nobody since I love you.

Let me spread you out among yellow garlands.

This is how it could’ve gone:

Kyuhyun is sitting idly at a small café, and observes the people around him. He is a people watcher – he loves noticing the little details and the subtle actions of humans around him. Normally, someone would have noticed at some point that he is staring at their clothing, their accessories, and their movements. But Kyuhyun can’t be seen. He doesn’t remember anything before the car crash other than that his name is Cho Kyuhyun. When he woke up in a colorless hospital, he had realized that the doctors couldn’t see him…and other people couldn’t either. He had come to the conclusion that he had “died”, but he doesn’t know why he hadn’t died properly. People weren’t supposed to be able to move around at their leisure after they died…right? It has been a week since he woke up in the hospital, but Kyuhyun is still lost – he doesn’t know what he wants to do, nor does he know why he’s still stuck in the human realm.

He shakes the thought of being creepy and dead off his mind and continues to observe his surroundings. An attractive guy waiting for his cup of coffee catches Kyuhyun’s eyes, and he feels his mouth run dry, if that was even possible, at the guy’s lean yet somewhat toned body. He tilts his head slightly, and catches a fragment of the guy’s voice. It was deeper than Kyuhyun had expected, and he finds that this man who seems to be built upon contradictions captivates him. As the guy spins around, Kyuhyun catches a glimpse of his smile. Suddenly, he realizes that the guy he is observing is staring right back at him.

It can’t be…he shouldn’t be able to see me…

The guy grins cockily, and walks towards Kyuhyun.

“Hi. Mind if I join you? My name is Kim Jongwoon.”

Kyuhyun stares at Jongwoon with his mouth agape. He doesn’t understand how Jongwoon can see him, but something at the back of his head nags him and tells him that Jongwoon can help him solve his problem.

It also didn’t hurt that Kyuhyun is extremely attracted to the guy named Kim Jongwoon.

Who writes your name in letters of smoke among the stars of the south?

Oh, let me remember you as you were before you existed.

But that doesn’t happen. In its place, imagine this:

Jongwoon is running along a street. He’s your average looking high school student, complete with the uniform and school bag. But he is well known for being a phenomenon singer, so he is being chased by a pack of fan girls. He finds a small alley and runs in there, hoping that the girls won’t realize that he is hiding there from them. Ever since he had performed at a school concert, his newly formed fan group had chased him down. They had been stalking him from place to place, and all Jongwoon really wants is some peace and quiet. He pants as he breathes in deeply. It isn’t until a little later that he realizes that he isn’t alone. A pair of hazelnut eyes observes him quietly, and Jongwoon feels his heart pick up its pace once more.

Jongwoon decides that the silence is killing him, and clears his throat. However, the mysterious person in the darkness beats him to it.

“Hi…Jongwoon-sshi? I’m assuming that’s your name because those fan girls were screaming it a while ago...”

“Yes…that’s me.”

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Kyuhyun. Cho Kyuhyun. Come, follow me.”

Jongwoon stares at the hand that is being offered to him. Kyuhyun has an earnest look on his face, and he decides to take this leap of faith. He smiles and grabs Kyuhyun’s hand. Kyuhyun interlocks his fingers with Jongwoon’s, and leads him down the alley. After many twists and turns, Kyuhyun and Jongwoon end up at a deserted playground. In the distance, freckles of stars start to shimmer and shine as the sun slowly descends beyond the horizon.

Jongwoon glances over at Kyuhyun, and wonders why sharing this silence is so comfortable. He barely knows the other guy, but already he feels that being together with him felt right.

“I’m...sorry Jongwoon-sshi. I lied. I actually recognized you from our school concert. I’m an avid fan boy.”

The next thing Jongwoon knows is that Kyuhyun’s lips are pressed on his own.

The sky is a net crammed with shadowy fish.

Here all the winds let go sooner or later, all of them.

The rain takes off her clothes.

Then picture this scene:

Kyuhyun is crying. It doesn’t happen often, but he is heartbroken from the rejection he just faced. He has loved that boy for many months now, and he finally gathered to courage to confess his feelings. But instead the boy had laughed at him, and spat the word “fag” out at him. Kyuhyun could feel his heart breaking a million times over. He thought that the boy was different, that he finally had it right.

It is raining. Kyuhyun sits on a park bench as his tears and the rain mix together. Suddenly he feels a tap on the shoulder. He looks up at the most beautiful face that he has ever seen. The guy is standing next to him seems almost ethereal – there seems to be some sort of glow. Kyuhyun stares at him, transfixed, as he tilts his head slightly.

“What’s wrong?” His voice is deep and husky, but lyrical. Kyuhyun’s heart lurches.

“I’m…broken hearted.”

The guy smiles sadly at Kyuhyun, and takes his hand. He pulls Kyuhyun up and encompasses Kyuhyun in his arms. Kyuhyun closes his eyes and leans against the chest of the man. He feels protected, and although the rain is soaking him completely, he feels warmth in this embrace. He looks up at the man, and the man gently pecks Kyuhyun on the cheek.

“I’m here for you.”

As the rain slowly stops, so do Kyuhyun’s tears. He sits at the park bench, leaning against the man and slowly falls asleep. The last thing he remembers is the whisper of the name “Kim Jongwoon” against his ear.

When Kyuhyun wakes up, he is alone on the park bench. He looks around, but the man who had comforted him is nowhere to be found. Kyuhyun stares at the paper note that he finds in his hand.

Come find me. Love, Kim Jongwoon.

So many times we have seen the morning star burn, kissing our eyes

and over our heads the grey light unwind in turning fans.

The rain fades and instead the sun is shining.

Jongwoon’s brother Jongjin, who is trying to plan a birthday party for his girlfriend, is dragging Jongwoon to the Han River unwillingly. Jongwoon sighs as he starts to help Jongjin plant decorations along the riverside on trees and park benches. He reaches an empty space that is out of his brother’s sight and sits on the grass. He wants some peace and quiet to himself after spending so long in the presence. He lies down and closes his eyes.

Suddenly, he hears the rustling of tree leaves above him. He opens one eye lazily, and a ray of sun shines down on him through the leaves of trees. A foot appears in his vision, and he sees the curious look on a boy’s face.

“What are you doing up there?”

“What are you doing down there?”

“I’m resting.”

“Well, so am I.”

Jongwoon stares at the boy’s fine features, and the smirk on his face. There is something intriguing about him.

“What’s your name?”

Jongwoon frowns, and starts to think that the boy is annoying.

“I’m Jongwoon. Kim Jongwoon.”

“I’m Kyuhyun. Cho Kyuhyun.”

The boy named Kyuhyun climbs down from the tree and lies down next to Jongwoon.

“Jongwoon-hyung, what are you looking at?”

“The rays of sunlight.”

“Why?”

“Because it feels idyllic. Don’t you think?”

“I guess so.”

They share the silence as they watch the clouds float in the blue sky, and the rays of sunlight dance across their bodies. They soak up each other’s presence. When the sun sets, Jongwoon asks Kyuhyun for his number.

They meet at the Han River again the next day.

I go so far as to think that you own the universe.

I will bring you happy flowers from the mountains, bluebells,

dark hazels, and rustic baskets of kisses.

However, none of them are real.

Kyuhyun stops daydreaming and stares in the distance at the many couples that are walking on the streets, hand in hand. He is bundled up – thick scarf and sunglasses – so that he won’t be recognized. He sighs, and takes a sip of his coffee. He doesn’t know why, but he is always irritated by Valentine’s Day. There isn’t an ounce of romanticism in his life. Suddenly he looks up as a man taps him on the shoulder. He turns around and looks up into a pair of the most gorgeous eyes he has ever seen.

“Sorry, this seat isn’t taken, is it?”

Kyuhyun just stares dumbly, and shakes his head. The other man just smiles, and sits down opposite to him.

“Hi…my name is Kim Jongwoon. Sorry, there were no other seats available...”

Kyuhyun looks around the café, and sees many empty tables. He shakes his head in disbelief, and a slight smile appears on his face. He listens to the man opposite him animatedly talk while introducing himself. Apparently he is four years older than Kyuhyun, and he loves music and singing. He talks about his favorite movies and singers. Kyuhyun doesn’t really pay too much attention to the words of the man opposite him, but instead Kyuhyun admires the way Jongwoon’s shirt is slightly open, accentuating Jongwoon’s collarbones. Kyuhyun bites his tongue as he resists the urge to run his finger along the clavicle. Jongwoon stops talking, and seems to realize that Kyuhyun is staring. He chuckles, and ruffles Kyuhyun’s hair.

“It’s rude to stare at a stranger like that.”

Kyuhyun glares at Jongwoon who sees through him so easily. He decides to ruin Jongwoon’s little game.

“But hyung…we’re not strangers, are we?”

Jongwoon narrows his eyes at Kyuhyun, opening his mouth to say something back but he is cut off by a high-pitched scream.

“Omo! It’s Yesung and Kyuhyun! I love you!!!!” A girl quickly draws attention to the two of them, and Kyuhyun grimaces as their cover has been blown. The girl’s boyfriend glares at them, as if blaming them that his girlfriend is an ELF, and the girl quickly takes out a pen and paper asking for a signature. They reluctantly sign, and a crowd starts to form around them. Jongwoon takes Kyuhyun’s hand and drags him out of the café that had quickly become suffocating. They run towards Jongwoon’s car and quickly get in, laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation.

“What the hell hyung! You couldn’t put on a pair of sunglasses? A stupid beanie doesn’t help disguise you!”

Both of them crack up with laughter, and Kyuhyun lays his head on Jongwoon’s shoulder while he tries to stop his uncontrollable mirth.

“Hyung, what was the point of that? We could’ve just spent a day at the dorm.”

“But I wanted to recreate one of your supposed scenarios where fate brings two people together on Valentine’s Day. So back in the café, because there were no seats, we were destined to meet.”

“But hyung, there were a million empty seats around.”

“Such a brat. You just have to ruin everything, don’t you?”

Jongwoon presses a kiss on Kyuhyun’s forehead, and the maknae slowly closes his eyes. His relationship with Jongwoon hadn’t been a product of fate shoving the two together. Or maybe it had. But Jongwoon was, instead, a subtle visitor to his heart who decided to permanently move there. He doesn’t know when the philtrum-loving weirdo had become a piece of him, but Kyuhyun knew that he would never be complete without Jongwoon. He is positive that Jongwoon is his other half, the other piece of his soul that he has been searching for. It didn’t matter that the fantasies that Kyuhun creates about the two of them aren’t true. All that matters to Kyuhyun is that Jongwoon is real.

---

A/N: Happy Valentine's Day all my lovelies! I know the day is over in many places in the world already, but I just wanted to leave this with you all. It's a little broken and disjointed, but I hope you guys enjoy it ^^ Leave me a comment if there's a story you want me to expand more on (I may or may not write a few of the "fantasies" in more detail later on when I have time. Or give me a shout with what you thought of anything at all.

I hope you like the bits and pieces of Pablo Neruda's poem! It's called 'Everyday You Play', and it's one of my favorites pieces by Neruda.

I love you guys! ♥♥♥

Some special shout-outs!
phoenix_soar rhenny icyblueangel allspecialsmile lan_ting nytslyer03 sushiwoon & echowillow
& other people who leaves lovely, lovely comments for me. If I've forgotten to mention your name, I'm so sorry! I really do love you all so so much ;_;

You guys are so precious to me ♥ I'm so glad you guys have still been messaging me & what-not during this period of time. Thanks for being so patient with me (esp Den & Ron...I'm sorry I'm a terribly slow beta ><)
I'll be honest - you guys are my inspiration to keep writing!

Just to end with a bit of lovely poetry by Neruda;

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way.

Feels like Insomnia

2012-02-08T02:49:43Z

Title: Feels like Insomnia
Pairing: Kyuhyun x Yesung (Kyusung/YeKyu)
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance
Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot :)
Summary: It’s hard to come to terms with falling in love with someone who’s leaving, even though he’s all Kyuhyun would ever need.

For icyblueangel ;; Happy Belated Birthday unnie :)

---

The hoot of an owl and the chirping of cicadas. The night wind revolves in the sky and there is the distant sound of cars.
Lovers embrace under the streetlamp.
The world holds its breath as life slowly stills.

But Kyuhyun can’t sleep at all. He tosses and turns, but despite the long day he had, he can’t seem to escape the monster called insomnia. There are periods of time when he would drift into sleep, but a loud shout or crash from somewhere else in the dorm would wake him and he wouldn’t be able to drift into that mindlessness, the border between dreams and reality, until thirty minutes after he wakes up. He silently curses himself for drinking that coffee earlier that evening, and he curses himself for not being able to sleep. He picks up his phone.

From: Kyuhyun (XXX-XXXX-XXXX) 3:32 am

Hyung…are you still awake?

Kyuhyun stares at the phone’s wallpaper for 2 whole minutes before the thing springs to life and vibrates, notifying him that Jongwoon had texted him back.

From: Jongwoon (XXX-XXXX-XXXX) 3:34 am

Kyu-ah, why are you still awake? Insomnia again? Is Hyukkie being a nuisance? If he is, I’ll call him and tell him to shut up.

From: Kyuhyun (XXX-XXXX-XXXX) 3:35 am

Yeah, I can’t seem to sleep for some reason. It’s not Hyukjae hyung’s fault...it’s been like this for 4 nights already. I’ll try to sleep again ^^ I just wanted to text you.

From: Jongwoon (XXX-XXXX-XXXX) 3:36 am

Call me if you still can’t sleep…we’ll see if I can talk to you into sleep keke.

From: Kyuhyun (XXX-XXXX-XXXX) 3:37 am

You probably can. You’re so boring, always talking about turtles. I’m going to sleep now~ good night.

From: Jongwoon (XXX-XXXX-XXXX) 3:37 am

Good night Kyu~ Sweet dreams ^^

Kyuhyun smiles as he reads the messages that Jongwoon had sent him. The older guy had always been able to make Kyuhyun happy.

He had felt so empty after Jongwoon moved out from the dorm. It was weird – he couldn’t stand the man when he was around and they could never stop bickering. But when it came to the things that mattered, and when he needed comfort, Jongwoon was always the first person he sought. He pouts slightly, and mentally complains that he has no one to go to in real life now that Jongwoon isn’t there anymore. He remembers the moment he was helping Jongwoon pack up and moved his things to the car. Jongwoon had ruffled his hair and hugged him hard after seeing the crestfallen expression on Kyuhyun’s face.

“Don’t worry Kyu-ah, I can never say no to you. So if you ever need me, text me or give me a call. I’ll be right by your side when you need me there.”

He shut his eyes while cradling his phone, hoping that he would finally enter the realm of dreams. He counts to one hundred slowly and silently. Kyuhyun tosses and turns and opens his eyes wide. He hates his life when he can’t sleep. He screwed up his sleep schedule a few days back due to his intense gaming session against Kibum, who had finally spared some time for him, and he just can’t seem to get it back to normal. And a maknae with no sleep is a terrifying maknae.

He sighs loudly and sat up, reaching for his iPod. As he puts the earphones into his ears, his thumb automatically taps the playlist labeled “Slumber”. A list of piano music and ballads come up, and Kyuhyun presses play. His eyelids flutter, and slowly become heavier. The music soothes him and helps him slightly, but he still constantly drifts in and out of sleep. Kyuhyun wraps the blanket around him tighter, hoping that the warmth will envelop him and help him sleep. Faintly he hears the sound of the main door and footsteps, but he no longer knows if it’s reality or his imagination playing games on him. All Kyuhyun cares about is falling asleep, and he doesn’t seem to be able to do that.

He feels arms wrap around him, and he automatically snuggles into the warmth. He interlocks his fingers with the fingers of the other person. The last thought he has is that it is Jongwoon hyung, because no one else has fingers that small. Then the other person pulls one of his hands away and gently strokes Kyuhyun’s hair while whispering nonsense in a soothing voice by his ear.

Sleep slowly comes to Kyuhyun and the monster called insomnia backs away.

---

Kyuhyun wakes up feeling groggy. A ray of sunlight hits his face through the window, and he tries to sit up. He soon realizes that he couldn’t, because there is a weight around his waist that is keeping him down. He looks down and sees an arm, and he seeks out the source of that arm. He turns his head around slightly, and sees Jongwoon still sleeping with his mouth open and drooling.

Kyuhyun chuckles at the sight, and he feels so lucky that has Jongwoon by his side. Even though it’s a dream, he’s still grateful that at least his hyung’s presence is there with him when he needs it the most. If Jongwoon still lived in the dorms with them, Kyuhyun would have crawled into bed with him ages ago. The sight before him wasn’t unfamiliar as Kyuhyun remembers all the mornings he had woken up with Jongwoon next to him when his insomnia hit. A wave of melancholy washes over him as he smiles at Jongwoon lovingly. He harbors feelings for Jongwoon that shouldn’t exist – at least, not between hyung and dongsaeng. He sighs, and tries to lift Jongwoon’s arm up and get up. As he is about to get off the bed, he finds himself pinned down by Jongwoon’s arms. Kyuhyun frowns, struggles to get up, but Jongwoon doesn’t relent.

“We still have an hour before our first schedules. Sleep.”

With that being said, Jongwoon cuddles Kyuhyun and falls promptly asleep again. The maknae sighs in exasperation, and pouts slightly. It wasn’t fair that Jongwoon could fall asleep so easily, even in his dreams. He twists around slightly and studies Jongwoon’s features as he sleeps. He gently steals a peck on Jongwoon’s lips, and turns around again. His back is facing Jongwoon as he turns red. It’s just a dream, so he wonders why he feels so embarrassed. He softly whispers “I love you” and shuts his eyes determinedly, trying to sleep for another hour despite the thoughts that are racing through his head, thoughts that even Heechul would be embarrassed of.

He misses the slight lift in the corners of Jongwoon’s mouth.

---

When Kyuhyun wakes up, he is alone in his room. His brows furrow slightly as he gets up, realizing that he has a bit of a headache. He glances at the clock, and realizes that he’s been asleep for more than 5 hours, which is a record. He stands up and stares at the bed. Jongwoon was just a figment of his imagination last night. Does he miss Jongwoon so much that he’s had dreams of him being here and comforting him?

He sighs as the water runs over his body in the shower, and he thinks about what it means. He was only able to fall asleep when he was so oblivious that he believed Jongwoon was with him.

Tears and water mix.

He needs to stop relying on Jongwoon so much. His hyung didn’t like him back in that way, not to mention the fact that he was going to join the army soon. Kyuhyun shudders as he thinks about Jongwoon’s conscription. He’s in denial about how soon Jongwoon needs to leave and he doesn’t want to imagine a life without Jongwoon. What would Kyuhyun do without Jongwoon by his side? Kyuhyun can manage perfectly on his own, but Jongwoon always comforted him when he was by his side. Jongwoon lent him stability, and all of Kyuhyun’s worries were gone when Jongwoon was there for him. He wants to hold Jongwoon’s hand; he wants to lend Jongwoon a shoulder to cry on; he wants to be able to run into Jongwoon’s embrace when he is suffering from insomnia and second doubts. But Jongwoon’s embrace is for another, and Kyuhyun constantly reminds himself that he shouldn’t allow himself to feel this way and shouldn’t allow himself to become reliant on Jongwoon.

Kyuhyun makes his way out to the living room and sits on the sofa. After staring off into space for around 5 minutes, he suddenly realizes that Sungmin and Hyukjae are staring at him. Kyuhyun stares back at them, wondering why Hyukjae is rubbing his head in pain.

“Did you and hyung…you know…” Hyukjae winks at him, with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Which hyung? What?” Kyuhyun has no clue what Hyukjae is trying to suggest. He widens his eyes in confusion.

“Oh come on…we tried to persuade hyung to stay over last night to no avail, and then we see him walk out your door this morning with a lopsided grin on his face…” Sungmin grins and says calmly. Kyuhyun is at a loss.

“Which hyung?” Kyuhyun narrows his eyes, and wonders if his hyungs are okay. “Did you guys get enough sleep?”

Sungmin and Hyukjae look at each other, and they both burst out laughing.

“He really doesn’t know!” Hyukjae wipes a tear from his eye and spits out as he doubles over with laughter. Sungmin chuckles, and walks over to pat Kyuhyun on the back.

“Thanks for explaining guys…” Kyuhyun glares at the two, wondering what it was that they find so amusing.

“Jongwoon hyung slept over in your room last night because you weren’t sleeping well…” Sungmin continues talking, but Kyuhyun zones out and loses track of what his hyung is saying after the first few words registered in his brain. It wasn’t a figment of his imagination… “…so romantic. And then he stormed over to Hyukkie and hit him for being such a nuisance even though we all knew you were suffering from your insomnia again.” Kyuhyun rolls his eyes as Hyukjae and Sungmin start blaming each other again for being loud. He curls up into ball, pulling his legs closer towards his body, and stares out the window. So it hadn’t been a dream. He blushes as he attempts to burrow his face into knees. He had kissed his hyung, who he thought was a figment of his imagination but turned out was real. He brings two fingers and touches his lips gently, and he smiles slightly.

From: Jongwoon (XXX-XXXX-XXXX) 9:02 am

Good morning maknae! Are you up yet?

From: Kyuhyun (XXX-XXXX-XXXX) 9:05 am

Yup I’m up! Hyung…did you sleep well?

From: Jongwoon (XXX-XXXX-XXXX) 9:06 am

I slept better than usual…because you were in my arms ♥

From: Kyuhyun (XXX-XXXX-XXXX) 9:10 am

…you’re so cheesy.

From: Jongwoon (XXX-XXXX-XXXX) 9:11 am

You know you love it. I went home to take a shower and change, I’ll see you in an hour, okay? Did you sleep well?

From: Kyuhyun (XXX-XXXX-XXXX) 9:12 am

Okay hyung, I’ll see you soon~ I slept pretty well, thank you ^^

---

Every cell in Kyuhyun’s body screams out “NOOO DON’T DO IT” as he rests his head on Jongwoon’s shoulder. They’re in the middle of filming, and Kyuhyun is worn out by all the activities they need to do. Kyuhyun looks at Jongwoon in surprise as Jongwoon reaches over and laces their fingers together. Kyuhyun’s heart pounds, and he decides that he can’t take the uncertainty anymore. He needs to know.
He speaks up.

“Hyung, when did you come over last night?”

“As soon as you called me.”

“Why?”

“I promised you that I’ll always be by your side when you need me. I intend to keep that promise.”

“Hyung...”

“What’s up? Are you sure you got enough rest? You don’t sound like the playful GameKyu that I know.”

“I…nevermind.”

“Tell me.”

“Why are you so nice to me? Because I’m the maknae, right?”

“No, Henry’s the maknae.”

“Then why?”

“…why do you think I’m so nice to you?”

Kyuhyun swears that he’s so frustrated that he wants to slap Jongwoon, hyung or not, for speaking in riddles. He pulls away from Jongwoon, and looks away. He feels a small hand gently tap on his shoulder. He turns around, about to chastise Jongwoon for being annoying, but instead his eyes widen in shock at the sensation of lips on his own.

“Do you know now?”

“I want to hear you say it.”

“I’m not just ‘nice’ to you…I’m also in love with you.”

“Yeah you better be.”

Jongwoon grins and pulls Kyuhyun back for another kiss.

---

From: Jongwoon (XXX-XXXX-XXXX) 6:02 am

Good morning Kyu! I love you, I miss you~

From: Kyuhyun (XXX-XXXX-XXXX) 8:43 am

You wake up too early…you should seriously consider writing a complaint letter about the hours they work you there.

From: Jongwoon (XXX-XXXX-XXXX) 9:23 pm

It’s okay, keke. I’ll survive because I know you care ~ Did you sleep well?

From: Kyuhyun (XXX-XXXX-XXXX) 9:25 pm

Yeah…I listened to the playlist you created for me ^^ Hyung, I miss you so so much already. It just isn’t the same without you. It’s only been 4 days. How am I supposed to survive the other 726 other days? :(

From: Jongwoon (XXX-XXXX-XXXX) 9:26 pm

You’ll be okay. It’s only 726 days. And I’m in the same country. And you’ll see me when I have days off. Here, have this.

[img attached]

From: Kyuhyun (XXX-XXXX-XXXX) 9:27 pm

HYUNG. HOW IS THAT SUPPOSED TO HELP? Eugh. You’re trying to frustrate me on purpose. Maybe I’ll just go and find Siwon hyung to help me with my problem.

From: Jongwoon (XXX-XXXX-XXXX) 9:28 pm

Yah, Cho Kyuhyun. Don’t you dare! You pinky promised that you’d wait for me.

From: Jongwoon (XXX-XXXX-XXXX) 9:30 pm

Kyu-ah, don’t threaten me like that T^T

From: Siwon (XXX-XXXX-XXXX) 9:32 pm

I don’t know what you guys are up to, but you guys should stop it. Yes Jongwoon hyung, I won’t touch Kyuhyun. And no, Kyuhyun, I won’t write seductive messages to you for you to copy and paste to Jongwoon. I value my life, thank you very much. Now stop involving me in your little love games. Go get a room.

From: Jongwoon (XXX-XXXX-XXXX) 9:35 pm

I win.

From: Kyuhyun (XXX-XXXX-XXXX) 9:37 pm

Not if I can help it.

[img attached]

From: Jongwoon (XXX-XXXX-XXXX) 9:40 pm

Just you wait. You’re going to be so sore you won’t know what hit you when I get my hands on you. 52 days until I get to visit you (I just counted). Just you wait.

From: Kyuhyun (XXX-XXXX-XXXX) 9:41 pm

Okay, whatever. I have a recording now, good night hyung. I love you & I miss you everyday.

---
A/N:
I'm still going to be on semi-hiatus, so fics are still going to be spewed out very slowly. If it wasn't for Lisa's birthday, it probably would've taken even longer for me to post something. So guys thank her for this ;__; Or not. I don't know what's going on in here, and there seems to be a bit of a pointless fluff plot (andabitofpointlessangst) is somewhat pointless. I'm tired and running on nights of bad sleep (hence insomnia), so yeah.
It's pretty much a mix of the stupid stuff that's happening in my life right now (minus the gaming and adding the tons of work and a messed up relationship), except I don't have a Jongwoon to cure me of my insomnia.

Anyways...

HAPPY (BELATED) BIRTHDAY LISA UNNIE~
You know I love you, right? :) *hugs and kisses*
So don't act indifferent to me >:(
All I have are these words for you. I wish I could give you so much more, but I can't. So you'll have to make do with a realllllyyy random YeKyu fic. Congrats Unnie~ I hope your day was filled with happiness and smiles ^^ Because you don't deserve anything less!
I think there's a lot of stuff in here that's related to the stuff we spam on Formspring, so have fun seeing references to my insomnia and cheesiness and all the pushing and pulling and indifference and...yeah. I'm sorry about this. It isn't my greatest given my current condition, but I hope you like it!

[100 Drabbles] Milestones

2012-01-21T21:55:51Z

Title: Milestones (what matters more, the journey or the destination?)
Pairing: YeKyu/KyuSung (Kyuhyun x Yesung)
Challenge: 100 Drabbles
Genre: Romance/Fluff
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Five (300+w) drabbles about the different milestones in the relationship between Jongwoon and Kyuhyun.

---

(i)
-Beginnings-

Kyuhyun peers nervously into the room that he is supposed to live in. Only a beam of light from the hallway gives Kyuhyun a rough idea of what is inside - he can only see the edge of a bed. From the depth of the room, a deep husky voice suddenly speaks. Kyuhyun's heart feels funny, but he convinces himself that it's because he's nervous due to joining a new group rather than the restless that accompanies the fact that a voice is seemingly coming out from nowhere. He recalls the name of the bandmate who he's supposed to share the room with. Yesung. The main vocal of Super Junior. He finds it weird that Yesung seems to be sitting the dark doing nothing. Kyuhyun has no idea what Yesung looks like, so at the moment all he knows is what his future roommate/bandmate sounds like. It's a little creepy that he needs to share a room with an eccentric character like him. Kyuhyun is usually good at judging people at first sight, but the problem is that he hasn't seen Yesung yet. He is a bit apprehensive about needing to live with Yesung. He shakes his head and shrugs off his worries - he's the new maknae, he probably should do what everyone tells him to. He really doesn't want to get on the bad side of people just yet. Kyuhyun timidly calls out into the darkness of the room.

"Do you mind if I turn on the lights hyung? I need to unpack and if it's dark…"

"It's okay, you can turn on the lights."

Kyuhyun fumbles around until his hand finally hits the light-switch. He flicks on the light, and he recoils as his eyes adjust to the brightness. He looks inside to see the face of his new roommate. He swears his heart stops, and proceeds to feel funny as he takes in the features of man in front of him.

HIs roommate, Yesung, grins at him and reaches his hand out. The next thing Kyuhyun knows is that his future roommate is touching his face.

"Hi, I'm Yesung, but please call me Jongwoon. You have a pretty philtrum."

---

(ii)
-Middles-

Jongwoon stares at the man in his arms in relief. Sungmin had finally fallen asleep after coming to Jongwoon for help with his insomnia. How ironic that they both keep insisting that their relationship is awkward on TV and radio programs when Jongwoon is one of Sungmin's favorite hyungs. Jongwoon smiles as he strokes Sungmin's hair soothingly, but suddenly he realizes that the light from the hallway had become blocked. He looks up to the doorway, and sees the maknae staring at the sleeping figure in his arms.

"Kyuhyun?"

Jongwoon's eyes adjust to the dark, and he can just about make out the frown on Kyuhyun's face.

"Kyu-ah, what's wrong?"

The maknae stays silent, still taking in the scene before him. Jongwoon is worried - Kyuhyun is never this quiet. Suddenly Kyuhyun walks forward, and yanks Sungmin up. Sungmin grumbles, and Kyuhyun ushers him out of the room. Jongwoon stands up angrily, and is about to lecture Kyuhyun about respecting his hyungs and taking care of the members that are extremely fatigued when Kyuhyun forcefully kisses Jongwoon. Jongwoon is in shock, but soon his own anger makes him kiss back roughly. Blood is drawn.

Jongwoon glares at Kyuhyun, still not understanding why Kyuhyun is acting like a spoilt child.

"Kyuhyun, what the fuck was that?"

"You're mine. My boyfriend. How the fuck do you think I feel when I see Sungmin lying in your arms and you stroking his hair lovingly? You're my boyfriend."

Jongwoon shakes his head in disbelief and starts to laugh. Kyuhyun glowers at Jongwoon, and is about to stomp off to his own room before he was pulled back and pinned onto the bed by Jongwoon.

"You insolent brat. I think it's time that I teach you about respect. And get it right - I'm not yours. You're mine."

---

(iii)
-Endings-

Kyuhyun sits next to Jongwoon on the park bench outside the hospital. It's autumn, Jongwoon's favorite season. Leaves of red, yellow and brown fall around them gently, carried by the wind. Kyuhyun chokes back a sob, and rests his head on Jongwoon's shoulder. Jongwoon soothes Kyuhyun, who is crying, and gently strokes his hair.

"I can't believe…after all this time…you're leaving me first."

Jongwoon forces a smile onto his face, and tilts Kyuhyun's face up and kisses him on the lips.

"It was inevitable."

Kyuhyun grabs Jongwoon's hand, and interlocks their fingers. He closes his eyes and enjoys the warmth radiating from Jongwoon's body. He wonders how long he has left to enjoy the presence of the love of his life. The doctor had estimated that Jongwoon had 1 month left before the sickness would steal him away from Kyuhyun.

"Listen, Kyu-ah, I'm so thankful I found you this lifetime. It was destined for us to meet and fall in love. Never forget all the memories, all the hardships we've endured through these years, all the ups and downs. I couldn't ask for anything more from God. Falling in love with you and being able to grow old with you was more than enough for me." Jongwoon pauses, takes a deep breath, then continues. "My time has come, we're already in our nineties. I feel extremely blessed that we've already had more than sixty years together. And…I'm sorry if I haven't said "I love you" enough to you. But never forget that I do. Even if I don't say it enough. So let's just enjoy whatever time we have left. The end of our journey together in this lifetime."

Kyuhyun tears up just a little more, and asks Jongwoon to sing for him. His husband happily agrees, and sings their wedding song.

He falls asleep on the park bench to the lull of Jongwoon's voice.

---

(iv)
-First-

First kisses are precious. Kyuhyun thinks that his first kiss is supposed to happen with the string instrumental in the background with each move and detail planned. First kisses are supposed to be passionate and romantic and Kyuhyun expects to be swept away by the moment.

Instead, Kyuhyun's first kiss is the opposite of what he expected it to be.

It is the first snowfall of the year, and Jongwoon had dragged Kyuhyun away from his laptop to play in the snow. If it was anyone other than Jongwoon, Kyuhyun would have put up a fight. But Kyuhyun realized that he could never say no to that perfect, flawless face or that perfect, husky baritone voice. It just wasn't possible. Kyuhyun knew.

Jongwoon tackles Kyuhyun, forcing him to lie in the snow. Kyuhyun stares up at the stars, and enjoy the silence that he shares with Jongwoon. Neither of them speak while they make snow angels.

Suddenly, Jongwoon leans over and gently pecks Kyuhyun on the lips. He hovers above Kyuhyun for a moment, and then lies back into the snow, continuing to perfect his snow angel. Kyuhyun turns and looks at Jongwoon, bringing his fingers to his lips. He doubts it had even happened. Jongwoon looks away, and Kyuhyun wonders if it was just his imagination.

"Am I dreaming?" Kyuhyun asks out loud to no one in particular. From the corner of his eye, he sees Jongwoon stiffen for a second, and then lean over again.

"Of course you're not dreaming."

Kyuhyun closes his eyes, thinking that Jongwoon might kiss him again, and this time it'll actually be right - the instrumental, the passion, the feeling that makes his toes curl. He is right - his toes do curl, but for the wrong reasons. He jumps up as Jongwoon runs off laughing, and he attempts to get the snow off his face.

As Kyuhyun runs after Jongwoon, trying to pelt him with snowballs, he decides that although his first kiss with Jongwoon wasn't what he thought it would be, it was still perfect in every way.

---

(v)
-Last-

It is October 23. Jongwoon can't stop pacing around the apartment as he waits for Kyuhyun to come home. He had sent him on a day of scavenger hunting with the help of all the other Super Junior members. Kyuhyun should be arriving back anytime soon after finally receiving the key to the apartment, what would hopefully become their apartment. Jongwoon starts to have second-doubts about what he was doing. He suddenly hears the key turning in the lock from outside, and quickly sits on the sofa.

Jongwoon hears Kyuhyun venture in carefully, and hears his smooth voice.

"Jongwoonie-hyung?"

"Took you long enough." He looks into Kyuhyun's eyes.

"So…this key…"

"Mhm…" Jongwoon smiles, and tries to mask how nervous he is feeling.

"Are you…asking me to move in with you?"

"Possibly."

Kyuhyun grins and walks over. He leans into Jongwoon and Jongwoon automatically wraps his arms around his boyfriend.

"I can't believe you made me do all that crap just to get this key. It better be easier for us to reach different milestones in our relationship. I don't think I have the energy to go all over Seoul again."

Jongwoon places a chaste kiss on Kyuhyun's forehead and reaches into his pocket.

"Cho Kyuhyun, would…you like to marry me and move in with me?"

Kyuhyun stares dumbfounded at silver ring that Jongwoon is holding out to him. Jongwoon stares at Kyuhyun nervously, hoping and praying that the maknae would accept.

Silence.

"You won't regret this?" Kyuhyun finally whispers into Jongwoon's ear.

"Never."

"If you ever do, I will kill you." Jongwoon laughs as Kyuhyun slides the ring on his ring finger, the only finger that contains a vein that is connected straight to the heart.

It is the last day that Jongwoon ever doubted Kyuhyun's love for him. It is also the last day that Kyuhyun doubted Jongwoon's love for him, too.

But it isn't the last time Jongwoon proposes to Kyuhyun. Every year on October 23, Jongwoon asks Kyuhyun to marry him all over again.

---

A/N: I couldn't help myself and wrote about my OTP again. Decided to start the 100 Drabbles Challenge, so look forward to a lot of Kyusung drabbles from me in the future...yeah. College has started again, so I don't know how often I will have time to read & update (but I shall try my best and keep writing...I have a lot planned!). Anyways, comments & love appreciated!

Needlework

2012-01-18T00:58:05Z

Title: Needlework
Pairing: KyuSung (Kyuhyun x Yesung)
Genre: Angst, Romance
Rating: PG
Summary: Kyuhyun can’t forget Jongwoon, even though 22 months and 19 days has passed since they broke up.

---

A flood of memories comes rushing back as time stands still. Kyuhyun swears he can hear the sound of grains of sand defy gravity and flow upwards in a hypothetical hourglass. He takes in the sight of Jongwoon greedily, like a child that has been offered ice cream on a hot summer’s day. He looks pretty much the same, except he has much shorter hair, and Kyuhyun thinks that he has lost weight from his somewhat bonier appearance. The shirt he wears showcases his accentuated collarbones very nicely and the tight jeans highlight the shape of his thighs. Kyuhyun needs to use all of his willpower to control the urge to run over to him and fling himself at him. He wants to feel Jongwoon’s arms wrap around his body, and the warmth that would engulf him once Jongwoon envelops him. Kyuhyun’s hands tighten into fists, and he stands from a distance, just observing. After all, Jongwoon had broken up with him all those months ago. 22 months and 19 days to be exact.

22 months and 19 days of heartache and longing.

Then again, who was counting? Certainly not Kyuhyun, who has moved on.

Kyuhyun can’t bring himself to watch Jongwoon’s reunion with his family any longer. His happiness of reuniting with his parents and brother is blinding, and Kyuhyun remembers how he once was happy with Jongwoon. He can still remember how gentle those small hands of his are, and how his eye-smile would appear whenever he was smiling genuinely. Those smiles were reserved for those precious moments off-camera, but when fans were lucky at their show they would catch it beautifully. Kyuhyun knows he has only 23 photos of that priceless smile in his laptop, but many many more were stowed away in his memory. He couldn’t bear to delete his folder of photos of Jongwoon, even though Jongwoon had broken up with him. He knows it’s unhealthy to still linger on the past and still go through the photos of Jongwoon he has from time to time, but he can’t help himself. He had fallen in too deep with the man, and it had ended on a painful note. At least he can still remember the good times between them, and not only the painful memories that had been made at the end of their relationship.

Kyuhyun turns around and walks away from Handel and Gretel, away from his ex-boyfriend.

Kyuhyun looks away from the shop and misses the melancholic gaze of Jongwoon looking at him.

“What the hell is that?!”

“Don’t you like turtles? I named this one Ddangkoma. It’s our love turtle!”

“Love turtle?”

“Yeah. Kyu-ah, I love you. Ddangkoma is a symbol of my love for you! You were in China, so I decided to buy a turtle to keep me company while you were gone.”

“Hyung you’re so weird.

“Admit it, you love that about me.”

“If you say so.”

Kyuhyun finds himself in the last place he expects to be. He walks around COEX Aquarium, heading towards where he knows Ddangkoma can be found. Funnily enough, the staff all know Kyuhyun now not as the singer in Super Junior or SM the Ballad, but as the man who is strangely obsessed with Ddangkoma the turtle. He had visited the aquarium on a weekly basis after Jongwoon had joined the army, as he knew that Ddangkoma would be sad when Jongwoon stopped visiting. Kyuhyun knows he shouldn’t care about Ddangkoma, their “love turtle”, but he had secretly adored the fact that Jongwoon had chosen a turtle whose longevity was at least 100 years. Other people used flowers to symbolize their love, but flowers could wilt and die a few days after. Ddangkoma, on the other hand, would survive for a long time. Kyuhyun smiles at how naïve he was to believe that his relationship with Jongwoon would last forever. He chuckled at the irony, as their love had ended long before the end of Ddangkoma’s lifetime.

Suddenly, he feels a tap behind him.

“Oh, hi Jungmin-sshi.”

“Hello Kyuhyun-sshi. Jongwoon-sshi just came by and asked to see Ddangkoma. I told him to wait, figured you might want to leave or want to wait in my office while he’s here.”

“I’ll wait upstairs in your office. Thank you Jungmin-sshi.”

“No problem Kyuhyun-sshi.”

He looks down at the aquarium from Jungmin’s office and spots Jongwoon staring at Ddangkoma lovingly through the glass. Kyuhyun repeatedly reminds himself that the only reason why Jongwoon looks like he’s sad is because he misses Ddangkoma rather than what Ddangkoma embodies. It isn’t possible that he misses what he once had with Kyuhyun…is it? Kyuhyum smiles bitterly, and questions whether or not Jongwoon even remembers that the turtle represents their love. A tear escapes from Kyuhyun’s eye, and he quickly rubs it away. He swore that he wouldn’t shed tears over Jongwoon, and although he somewhat failed at keeping that oath, he doesn’t intend on bawling again at the simple sight of the man. Even though said man looks absolutely delectable. Kyuhyun is on a diet, and he doesn’t want break it. He isn’t allowed to break it. He closes his eyes and breathes in deeply to regain some control over his heart, which continuously tries and persuades him to go down and talk to Jongwoon. Hi, how are you doing? I missed you. Did you miss me?

Kyuhyun shakes his head. He isn’t allowed to do that.

“Kyuhyun-ah, do you know what day today is?”

“April 13th?”

“Yeah…do you know what ELFs call it?”

“What?”

“Well, it’s supposedly our special day because I’m the 4^th oldest in Super Junior, and you’re the 13^th oldest. So April 13^th is YeKyu or KyuSung day.”

“You’ve been reading fanfiction again, haven’t you?”

“So what if I have?”

“Hyung…why are you reading that stuff? Don’t you have better things to do?”
“Well, I just wanted some ideas for…an event I wanted to put on.”
“What event?”

“The event where I told you how much I loved you.”

“Hyung, you’re such a pabo. All you needed to do was tell me simply.”

Once he sees the retreating figure of Jongwoon walking away from the aquarium, Kyuhyun walks down again to talk to Ddangkoma. It was a terrible habit that Jongwoon had forced Kyuhyun to develop. The turtle blinks at him once, twice when he asks him how Jongwoon is when he hears a familiar husky voice behind him.

“Why don’t you just ask me yourself, Cho Kyuhyun?”

Kyuhyun freezes, and turns around slowly. There he is, just like how he’s appeared in Kyuhyun’s dreams for the past months, so close Kyuhyun can touch him. But Kyuhyun restrains himself, and mentally curses himself for having such little self-control. He plasters on a smile.

“Hello Jongwoon-hyung.”

He doesn’t remember how, but he ends up at Handel and Gretel with Jongwoon. Everything seems like a blur. Jongwoon’s parents greet him warmly, as if nothing had changed between them in the past two years, as if they were still together as more than friends. But both of know that within the last two years, everything has changed. It doesn’t stop Jongwoon from attempting to pretend that the two years haven’t been the hardest of Kyuhyun’s life though, not that he knows how much he affected Kyuhyun by leaving. He chats animatedly about his conscription, and how much he has missed his parents, his friends and Seoul but about how happy he was meeting other people, normal people who weren’t idols. He hasn’t been back at the agency yet, but he’s going to go and check-in with them soon as well as reuniting with the other Super Junior members. Hyukjae and Ryeowook went to meet him when he ended his service, but he’s excited to see everyone else. Jongwoon is glad, apparently, that he bumped into Kyuhyun at the aquarium, and he doesn’t stop talking. Kyuhyun unconsciously smiles with Jongwoon – he has always had that affect on him - but at the same time his heart feels as if it is being wrenched out. Jongwoon seems oblivious to the past they once shared, and he thinks bitterly to himself that Jongwoon doesn’t care if he can keep that stupid, distracting smile on that stupid, perfect, flawless face of his. Their relationship didn’t matter to Jongwoon anymore, and it didn’t affect him any longer like the way it affected Kyuhyun. Suddenly, Jongwoon stops talking and stares at Kyuhyun expectantly. Kyuhyun realizes that he’s supposed to answer a question, a question about how he’s been these few years, and he just says that it’s been different, weird that Heechul-hyung, Junsu-hyung and him have been away from Super Junior. He talks about his various variety shows, what it’s been like being casted on We Got Married. He fills Jongwoon in on the new rookie groups and how some of them have become very good friends with him. He mentions the undying support that ELFs have for Super Junior. He talks about how his sister got married and how he’s an uncle now.

What he leaves out is that it’s been like hell, and that he had felt completely empty without Jongwoon by his side.

“Kyu-ah, are you drunk?”

“Hyung. I love you so so much.”

“Yep, you’ve definitely had too much to drink. Where are you? Who are you with?”
“Changmin. But hyung. Listen to me. I love you. You’re like…the light in my darkness. The meaning of my life. If I were a plant, you’d be the carbon dioxide that allowed me to photosynthesize. I love you hyung! I love you!”

“Oh god. I’m so glad I’m recording this. I can’t wait to play this back to you when you’re sober. And Kyu? I love you too.”

“I would hate you if you didn’t.”

“You know I would never give you the chance to do that.”

“I know. Hyung come and pick me up? Changmin’s unconscious and I don’t think I should drive.”

Everyone is overjoyed to have Jongwoon back. It almost feels as if nothing had changed, apart from the distance between Jongwoon and Kyuhyun. Everyone is sitting around the table they moved onto the roof of the dorms, sharing bottles of soju like the old days. Kyuhyun watches Jongwoon from the corner of his eye and sees Sungmin rest his head on his shoulder. Even Sungmin, who supposedly has a very awkward relationship with Jongwoon, is allowed to touch him whereas Kyuhyun isn’t. Kyuhyun would have given anything to be able to rest his head on Jongwoon’s shoulder and lace his fingers with Jongwoon’s again. The irony of the situation hits Kyuhyun, and he starts laughing. A lot of things seemed ironic once Jongwoon had returned. He starts tearing up in laughter, and Shindong suddenly realizes that his joke wasn’t the reason why Kyuhyun was cracking up as such. The others stare at Kyuhyun, thinking that he has gone mad. In a way, they aren’t too far off from the truth. Jungsu takes the alcohol away from Kyuhyun, not allowing him to drink anymore. Siwon stares intently at Kyuhyun, and when Kyuhyun suddenly starts to tear up Siwon suddenly takes him out to the balcony to voice out his concerns.

Is Kyuhyun okay? Kyuhyun isn’t even sure himself. Siwon sighs and hugs Kyuhyun as Kyuhyun allows one tear to accidentally slip out. Something had gotten into his eye. But it hurts to see Jongwoon in such close proximity. When they join the others again, Kyuhyun notices that Jongwoon’s eyes are fixated on Siwon.

“We have to sing a duet song together for the new album!”

“Really? What about Wookie?”

“He has a solo.”

“Wow…”

“Oh Kyu, think about it this way – we get to work together!”

“Why are you so happy?”

“I get to officially release a love duet with you!”

“Hyung…it’s somewhat angsty.”

“So? It’s still a love song. You hold me tight in your arms.”

“And I won’t stray anymore.”

“See! It totally fits us, it describes how we’re tied to each other forever.”

“You’re right I guess, it’s oddly perfect.”

“Let’s go grab a practice room and have some time to ourselves then!”

“Don’t give me that grin. You better keep your hands to yourself. I know what you’re thinking – the answer is no.”

Kyuhyun somehow manages to drag a very drunk Jongwoon into his car. Jungsu had paired up all the drunk with the sober, and somehow Kyuhyun is in charge of an extremely drunk and delirious Jongwoon. Kyuhyun doesn’t even want to think what evil plans Jungsu had in mind when he put the two main vocalists together. Siwon had offered to replace Kyuhyun, but Jungsu had insisted that Siwon was needed to deal with the unconscious Zhou Mi and uncontrollable Henry. Kyuhyun pulls up in front of Jongwoon’s apartment and quickly gets out of the car to help Jongwoon out. Jongwoon leans on Kyuhyun with an arm draped around him. Kyuhyun closes his eyes, allowing himself to indulge in his imagination that he is back in the past when he is allowed to bask in Jongwoon’s warmth. He ignores the reek of alcohol, and closes his eyes. When he opens them again, Jongwoon’s eyes are only a few centimeters away from his own. Kyuhyun quickly closes his eyes again, afraid that he would fall into Jongwoon’s eyes.

A peck on the lips.

Kyuhyun can taste the soju, and quickly pushes Jongwoon off. He drags Jongwoon like a little kid to a nearby playground, constantly repeating to Jongwoon that he needs to sober up. Jongwoon sits on top of the slide like a child, hugging his knees, but he never takes his eyes of Kyuhyun. He stays silent. Kyuhyun is a little unnerved by Jongwoon’s gaze and silence, and keeps convincing himself that Jongwoon is drunk, that he’s delirious and has no idea what he’s doing. Suddenly Jongwoon speaks.

“I was always following your appearances on television, you know.”

Kyuhyun stares at him, startled. He had thought that Jongwoon hadn’t cared at all about him when he had broken their relationship off. Jongwoon starts sobbing, and begins a verbal diarrhea about how handsome Kyuhyun was when he had appeared on all the variety shows, naming them off by heart one by one. When Jongwoon finally gets to Kyuhyun’s appearance on We Got Married, he chokes back a sob. Kyuhyun is staring at Jongwoon dumbfounded as Jongwoon curls up and falls asleep on top of the slide. His last words echo in Kyuhyun’s brain.

“I was happy…to see you so happy.”

Kyuhyun carries Jongwoon back to his apartment, and Jongjin lets him in silently without waking their parents up. Kyuhyun carefully places Jongwoon on his bed, and strokes Jongwoon’s cheek. It is the only time he is allowed to show the affection he feels for the man. He gently pecks Jongwoon on the cheek and leaves. He walks home, forgetting that his car is still parked outside Jongwoon’s house. Jongwoon’s drunken confession replays over and over again in his mind, and he doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know what Jongwoon means by his speech, and he doesn’t know what to make of it. His heart soars as he thinks that Jongwoon cares, actually cares, but he then reminds himself that he’s making too much out of Jongwoon’s drunken state.

Kyuhyun knows one thing for sure though – he only seemed happy, but he actually wasn’t happy. The only time he was happy was when he was with Jongwoon.

“Kyu-ah! We have a free day. Let’s go on a holiday on Jeju Island!”
“What?”

“Spontaneity my love, spontaneity.”

“But...plane tickets, hotel rooms.”

“I’ve booked everything already. Did it a few months ago.”

“What? You’re so sneaky!”

“Hey, it’s our one year anniversary. Of course I had to book everything and make sure everything’s perfect.”

“You were the one who cancelled our schedules for today? Just to go to Jeju?”

“Yep.”

“You’re unbelievable.”

Kyuhyun decides to not do anything about Jongwoon, and just see what happens. He’s still too raw from what happened last night, so when he goes to get his car, he sneaks around the house and stays out of sight from Jongwoon’s room. As he sits in his car, he looks up at Jongwoon’s window and sees the silhouette of Jongwoon. He sits and watches Jongwoon dresses, admiring how toned Jongwoon’s muscles have become. Kyuhyun wonders if his body would become like that after two years of conscription too, or if Jongwoon has just been paying extra attention. His eyes take in the sight of Jongwoon picking up a shirt, and slowly buttoning without paying attention. Jongwoon grimaces from his hangover and Kyuhyun smirks. Serves him right for drinking so much. Kyuhyun decides that he needs to leave before he starts to stalk his ex on a regular basis. Right as he is about to drive away from Jongwoon’s house, his phone rings.

An unknown number.

He picks it up, and hears the husky tonality of Jongwoon’s voice.

“Hi, Kyuhyun? I’m…at Dongdaemun station right now and I can’t find my way to the SM building. Can you give me the directions from here?”

Kyuhyun stares as he sees Jongwoon in his room, tapping nervously on his desk. He masks the emotion that is bubbling up and carefully tells Jongwoon the directions. He sees Jongwoon’s tears spill from his eyes, and he doesn’t know what to make of the situation. Jongwoon sounds cheerful on the phone, but Kyuhyun’s eyes knew that his ears were deceiving him.

He thinks back to when Jongwoon had broken up with him so many months ago. It had gotten to the point where they just kept fighting every single day. Which wasn’t unusual, but it was all more serious than the bickering they normally carried out. Jongwoon wasn’t happy when Kyuhyun had too much skinship with Sungmin, or Siwon. Kyuhyun hated when Jongwoon went out to drink with his friends and got drunk with Kibum and Heechul. Then the news that Kyuhyun was joining We Got Married right before Jongwoon’s enlistment came out, and it had broken something in the elder. It started a whole chain of arguments after arguments, and the relationship between Jongwoon and Kyuhyun had become so broken that neither of them knew how to fix it.

He allows himself to hope that his love for Jongwoon didn’t become one-sided in contrary to what he believed after so long.

“Kyuhyun?”

“Hyung, I’m sorry. I know we’re…over, but you’re leaving tomorrow. I wanted to…”

“It’s okay Kyu. Climb in. I don’t mind cuddling.”

“What happened to us?”
“We outgrew each other.”

“But why? What went wrong?”

“I wish I knew. But I need to leave. And you need to be brave and lead a good life.”

“Hyung…it’s not a permanent goodbye.”
“I know.”

“But I still love you.”

Kyuhyun walks around the practice rooms, and he catches the sound of a voice he hasn’t heard in two years. Subconsciously, his feet bring him closer and closer towards the source of the melody, even though he knows he needs to stay away. He still hasn’t figured out what he wants to do with Jongwoon, and he doesn’t know if he wants to do anything about their relationship. He sits outside Jongwoon’s practice room, and listens to him as he sings. All the memories of the songs Jongwoon used to sing for him come flooding back, and Kyuhyun buries his face into his hands. He’s overwhelmed by all the emotion that Jongwoon can coax out of him with the simple act of singing. Yesung. Artistic voice. His stage name was so perfect for him. Kyuhyun becomes drunk with the memories as he hears their song, Your Eyes, being sung. Jongwoon’s voice sounds like it’s breaking, and there is an awkward silence during Kyuhyun’s parts. His brain barely registers the sound of a door opening, and Jongwoon’s surprised exclamation at finding Kyuhyun outside his practice room.

Time stand still once again as they make eye contact. Kyuhyun’s sight is blurry from the tears, and Jongwoon’s own tears are falling. Kyuhyun starts sobbing – he can’t help himself – and Jongwoon wraps his arms around Kyuhyun.

“Why are we doing this to ourselves?” is the question that neither of them have the answer to.

“Cho Kyuhyun, do you believe in soul mates?”

“I think they do exist. It’s just extremely hard to find your soul mate.”

“Then we’re two very lucky people then.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Isn’t it obvious that among the billions of people on this earth, we found each other?”

“You think we’re soul mates?”

“I don’t think. I know.”

“Well, then I think we’re very lucky indeed.”

The first memories of true love can never be erased. Just like the many, many movies that Jongwoon loves to watch, sequels aren’t normally better than the original. It’s the same concept for love. No matter how hard Kyuhyun searched during 22 months and 19 days, he just couldn’t forget Jongwoon and move on. None of the others have made Kyuhyun as happy as Jongwoon did. And none of the others made Jongwoon as happy as Kyuhyun did.

It's possible to mend broken things through careful needlework and crafted effort.
Luckily for people who make stupid mistakes, second chances exist.

---

A/N: I don’t even remember how I spewed this out. It’s the product of boredom at an airport for many many hours with nothing better to do. Inspired somewhat by MBLAQ’s “Hello my EX” and the rest of the other angsty songs on my playlist.
I actually have a lot of other things that I need to write, but I find that I tend to procrastinate more when I'm not writing about KyuSung. So I will (try very very hard to) not to write any other KyuSung/YeKyu until the other stuff has been finished *nods*
Sorry for this. I don't know what's going on either. I'm currently extremely jet-lagged.

Once Upon a Time - Into the Woods

2012-01-12T14:44:26Z

Title: Once Upon a Time - Into the Woods
Pairings: KyuSung (Kyuhyun x Yesung), MinWook (Sungmin x Ryeowook)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance / Fairytale!AU
Disclaimer: I don't really own anything other than the plot.
Summary: When sleep refuses to come, Ryeowook starts to rely on Sungmin's expertise in story-telling...

Into the Woods

Once upon a time in a land far away, there lived a young boy named Kim Jongwoon who had grown up in a village by the edge of the woods. He had always been an adorable and lovable child, so it came to no surprise when he grew up to become a handsome young man. His mother had pampered him ever since he was a child. His grandmother spoilt him more than anyone in the world.

Although many spoilt him, Jongwoon was kind and had an extremely loveable personality. He could be extremely stubborn at times and lose his temper easily, but he was always forgiven for his flaws because he was kind-hearted. He was a little strange at times – his favorite color was red, he loved turtles and he touched people’s philtrums. He also had a weird habit of talking to insects. But it was what constituted the personality of Kim Jongwoon, and people loved him for his strange quirks.

Jongwoon was also extremely talented vocally. His voice was one of the best in the village, and during festivities he would perform for the entire village. He was able to touch all the villagers’ emotions when he sang, and it was what attracted a lot of attention towards him.

Sometimes, it attracted a bit too much attention.

A pair of chocolate-brown orbs were fixated on Jongwoon as he sang.

Jongwoon was completely unaware, but there were plans involving him that were being made.

---

Kyuhyun watched from afar as the trainee that was known as ‘Yesung’ sang. He looked around at the audience that was filled with people who had their mouths open in awe. He was sure that his own jaw was agape in a similar fashion after being blown away by that amazing voice. It wasn’t every day that pure, raw talent in that form was found at SME. There was something alluring about that husky tonality, coupled with the flawless complexion of the man. It drew Kyuhyun to the man. He imagined himself running his hands across Yesung throat as he sang.

The man who possessed the art-like voice didn’t acknowledge his existence, but Kyuhyun smirked.

The man known as ‘Yesung’ will eventually know who Cho Kyuhyun is.

Soon.

---

When the news that Jongwoon’s grandmother was sick came, Jongwoon had shed tears. He loved his grandmother, just as how his grandmother loved him. So when he asked his mother if he could visit her to bring her some medicine and cakes, his mother had agreed despite the dangers that he would inevitably face whilst he made his journey across the woods.

He put on his favorite red sweater, one his grandmother made for him the previous Christmas, and packed his bag.

When he was leaving the house, his mother had fussed over him.

“Remember Jongwoon, don’t stray and keep to the main path. It can be dangerous in the woods. Try not to get distracted. Beware of the wolves.”

“Umma, I’ll be okay. I’m not a child anymore. Don’t worry about me.”

He pecked his mother on the cheek and smiled brightly. His mother sighed and sent him off.

And so Jongwoon set off into the woods to visit his grandmother.

As a child, Jongwoon had always been wary of the woods. Adults had always told the children of the village that the woods were dangerous and evil, especially after the sun had set, and so children had avoided entering them. There were wolves, there were poisonous plants and there were witches that ate young innocents. It was a dangerous place to be. But Jongwoon was determined to visit his grandmother, so he bravely shook off his fears and set upon the path.

As long as he kept to the main path and didn’t get distracted, he would be safe. There were far too many people travelling on the main path. Wolves wouldn’t attack him there.

Little did Jongwoon know, a pair of chocolate-brown orbs followed him as he took his first steps into the dark and cold realm of the woods.

---

It was difficult to approach Yesung on the crowded streets of Seoul. There were far too many people, and Kyuhyun didn’t know how he would be able to carry out his plan with that many onlookers. He needed to find a way to distract Yesung. But first he needed to find out where he was headed.

He nearly lost sight of the man when the sea of people engulfed him into the crowd, but the red dye in Yesung’s hair made him relatively easier to spot. Kyuhyun scoffed – who in their right mind would dye their hair red pre-debut? But it worked to his advantage. Kyuhyun followed Yesung quickly onto the subway, and edged his way closer to his target. He knew that Yesung had kept his wallet in an outside pocket of his jacket, on the left side. When the opportunity arose as he was pushed into Yesung, he quickly reached in and took the wallet out of Yesung’s pocket.

As Yesung got off the train, Kyuhyun also made his way onto the platform too. The doors shut after him and train left the station.

He made a run after his target, trying to feign breathlessness.

“Excuse me? I think this might be yours!”

---

Jongwoon had been walking along the path his mother told him to stay on for quite some time when he heard the smooth voice that informed him that he dropped something from his bag. He looked at the young man who held out a jar of honey that he had brought for his grandmother.

“Thank you. My grandmother would have been devastated without this.”

“I’m glad I noticed that you dropped it then. Where are you headed?”

Jongwoon stared at the man in front of him. He looked relatively young, close to his own age actually, and there was something about his demeanor that reminded him of his little brother Ryeowook. The thought that the man may be dangerous flickered across his mind, but he quickly dismissed it. How could this man possibly bring harm to Jongwoon? It wasn’t possible.

“I’m headed to my grandmother’s. She lives on the other side of the woods.”

“I see…I’m headed in that direction too. But I know a shortcut that makes it faster to get there. Would you like to go with me?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I will. It could be dangerous you know. You should stay on the main path too.”

The young man laughed at Jongwoon’s comment.

“How old are you? 6? Live a little!”

Jongwoon shook his head and denied the man’s request. Although the man seemed harmless, he knew better.

“I’m sorry, but I think I should be on my way.”

“You know what? Let’s race and see who gets to the other side of the woods first. It’s a bet that I’ll arrive first.”

“What happens when one of us wins?” Jongwoon’s eyes sparkled at the competition.

“The winner has to grant the other a wish. Any wish at all.”

“Deal.” With that, the young man had vanished amongst the trees.

Jongwoon kept to the main path, but he picked up his pace slightly. Suddenly he remembered that he forgot to ask the young man for his name. But the young man’s attractive chocolate-brown eyes are imprinted on Jongwoon’s mind. The cry of a bird could be heard in the distance.

Jongwoon’s mother had forgotten to warn Jongwoon that wolves did not always look like beasts. Sometimes they were disguised in the form of a charming young man with chocolate-brown eyes and an incredibly attractive philtrum.

---

Kyuhyun climbed into a taxi and told him the address of the café where Yesung’s grandmother worked. From their short exchange, he found out that his grandmother was sick so he had to help with the work at the café. He was disappointed that Yesung didn’t want to take the “shortcut” with him, but it meant that he could plan something else. It wasn’t technically cheating that he hailed a cab when he never specified what his shortcut was.

He hadn’t even asked for Kyuhyun’s name. Not that Kyuhyun would’ve told him his real name in the first place.

But during a brief moment when they had made eye contact, Kyuhyun’s heart had fluttered. He was sure that he needed to carry

his plan out.

He smiled as he thought about the next steps.

He was so close, so very close, to making Yesung his.

---

There was something extremely soothing about the woods that Jongwoon had never noticed before. There was something extraordinary about the woods, and Jongwoon enjoyed the quiet stroll. Occasionally he would bump into people that he recognized from the village, and they all told him to send their best to his grandmother. But Jongwoon couldn’t shake off the feeling that he was being watched.

He looked around him and saw nothing out of the usual, and told himself that he was being delusional. He made his way along quickly, not wanting to lose to the unknown stranger who had challenged him. Jongwoon had always been competitive as a child, and he hated the feeling of losing.

He hummed a melody as he strolled along the path, only stopping to pick a few flowers. His grandmother had always loved daisies, so it would brighten her day when he brought her some. When he was young, his grandmother would say tell him that daisies reminded her of him, of his childlike innocence. He stared at the dainty white petals, and wondered if he was still worthy of being compared to the flower. He remembered the young man he had met on the path and the thoughts that had flashed through his mind when he first set eyes on the stranger.

He chuckled as he realized that daisies no longer were an apt representation of him.

The woods could do strange things to people.

---

Kyuhyun quietly slipped into the café, ignoring the “Closed” sign that hung on the door.

“Jongwoon, is that you?”

A weak, female voice called out from the back. Kyuhyun took out the herbal tea that he had bought on the way and slipped some white powder in it.

“Hello! I’m…Jongwoon’s friend. He’s coming soon, but here. He told me to bring this to you.”

“Oh look at you, such a sweetheart. I’m glad our Jongwoon has made friends like you.”

“Get some rest Granny. You need to sleep when you’re sick so that you can recover.”

Kyuhyun walked out to the outside of the café, and started to brew some coffee. Now all he needed to do was wait for Yesung (or was it Jongwoon?) to make an appearance.

---

Jongwoon was getting a little overwhelmed with the amount of stuff he was holding by the time he got to his grandmother’s. He was holding a bouquet of daisies and a basket of cakes, honey and medicine, and he struggled during his attempts to open the door. He gave up, and decided to knock. Hopefully his grandmother would be able to get up and open it.

He looked around while he was waiting and couldn’t find any trace of the man he had made a bet with. Jongwoon smiled, thinking that he had won after all.

He knocked three times on door again. The door opened, and he found himself staring into chocolate-brown eyes.

“Hello. Looks like you finally decided to show up.”

“You’ve won then.”

“It appears so. Would you like to come in?”

Jongwoon was slightly apprehensive about the young man being in his grandmother’s house, but the man couldn’t be dangerous. Jongwoon thought that anyone who had a smile as blinding as the young man who was offering him a cup of tea couldn’t be anything less than angelic.

Then the thought “Oh shit…” hits Jongwoon, because everything turned pitch black as he fell back, into the arms of the young man.

---

Kyuhyun doesn’t remember how he managed to drag Jongwoon all the way across Seoul back to his apartment without arousing anyone else’s suspicion, but he managed to do just that.

He panted heavily as he threw the very unconscious Jongwoon onto his bed.

He wondered if the Stockholm syndrome would work in his favor. He prayed to God it would.

Otherwise, how else was he supposed to get the undivided attention of Jongwoon? And have Jongwoon all to himself to do

whatever he wanted?

He sat on the bed next to Jongwoon after tying him to the bed frame with scarves.

And then he waited.

---

When Jongwoon finally woke up, his head felt like it had been repeatedly bashed with a rock. Hands appeared out of nowhere offering him a white pill and water. He eyed the pill suspiciously.

“It’s only aspirin. For the headache.”

The same smooth voice he had encountered in the woods. He gulped the medicine down, waiting for the pain to subside before he realized that his arms and legs were tied to the bedposts. He glared at the young man who sat next to him.

“What the hell is going on?”

“I won. You need to grant me a wish. Maybe this is my wish.” The young man stroked Jongwoon’s cheek. Jongwoon flinched.

“And why exactly does your wish involve bondage?”

The young man laughed quietly at Jongwoon’s question.

“Let me go.”

“Oh Jongwoon, didn’t your mother ever tell you to be careful of wolves?”

Jongwoon’s eyes widened as the wolf approached him step by step with a predatory glint in his chocolate-brown eyes.

---

What Kyuhyun had originally planned was to kidnap Jongwoon, and seduce him so that he would fall in love with him. But what

he didn’t see happening during his planning stages was a flying kick which knocked him to his side, and Jongwoon jumping up onto the bed with fists raised. So he realized things weren’t going to plan when he landed on the floor with a thud.

“You’re terrible at tying knots. What kind of predator are you if you can’t even keep your prey trapped properly?”

Kyuhyun grimaced as he looked up at Jongwoon’s accusatory stare. If he wasn’t so worried now that he was at Jongwoon’s mercy, he would have laughed at the situation. It was oddly ironic that a certain fear had gripped him when he realized that Jongwoon was free.

It was even more ironic that Kyuhyun was being tied expertly to the bed frame by Jongwoon despite the struggle he had made. Kyuhyun hadn’t realized how much strength were in Jongwoon’s small hands until he was securely attached to his own bed in his own apartment by his own scarves.

Yup, things were not going according to plan at all.

---

Jongwoon narrowed his eyes in suspicion at the wolf, who was securely tied to the bed.

The wolf’s knots were terrible and loose, and Jongwoon had managed to work his way free. He had managed to kick the wolf down onto the floor while the wolf was advancing. In a flash, Jongwoon had managed to tie to wolf to the bed while the wolf was too shocked to react to the turn of events.

Jongwoon didn’t know what to do next. He looked around him. He deduced that he was in a small cottage somewhere in the heart of the woods.

“Where’s my grandmother?”

“I didn’t eat her, if that’s what you’re asking. She’s far too thin and boney for my liking.”

“Then what did you do with her?”

“She’s drugged. Sleeping peacefully.”

Jongwoon breathed a sigh of relief when he heard that his grandmother was fine.

“By the way, my name’s Kyuhyun.”

“And why do I need to know it?”

The wolf, Kyuhyun, shrugged. Jongwoon stared at him, tied to the bed, and felt a tinge of excitement rushing through his body. A grin slowly made its way on Jongwoon's face as somewhat impure thoughts raced through his head.

“So…Kyuhyun, what big arms you have.” Jongwoon took a step towards Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun stared at Jongwoon in surprise, but he recognized a familiar predatory luster in the eyes.

“All the better to hug you with, dear.”

“And what big…ears you have.” Another step forward.

“All the better to hear your angelic voice with, dear.”

“What big eyes you have.”

“All the better to see you with, dear.”

“And Kyuhyun, what full and luscious lips you have.” A whisper. Jongwoon’s face was so close to Kyuhyun’s that he could feel the rise and fall of Kyuhyun's chest with each breath he took.

The reply was barely whispered back.

“All the better to kiss you with, dear.”

And with those words, Jongwoon closed the space between their lips.

---

Sungmin stares at Ryeowook who is sleeping with a smile on his face. He carefully strokes Ryeowook’s hair as he looks at him longingly. It had been difficult seeing him struggle to sleep for so long.

“I still can’t believe you made me the wolf.”

He looks at the owner of the voice, the group’s maknae Kyuhyun who is standing in the doorway. He wonders how long he had been listening.

“But you did stalk Yesungie-hyung and drug him and then attempt to kidnap him and hold him as a prisoner…”

“Let’s face it, I’m irresistible.” A husky voice. Jongwoon hugs Kyuhyun from behind and smiles at Sungmin. “Good job though Minnie, I’m glad you got him to sleep. His insomnia has been worrying me.”

“It’s been worrying all of us.” A frown flickers across Sungmin’s face. “I’m glad the fairytale got him to sleep though. Guess I’ll just read to him every night. Sleeping pills are really bad.”

“I doubt you can still call that a fairytale based on what was going on there…” Jongwoon chuckles. “Wookie’s innocent, I don’t think he realized what a lot of that was implying.”

“As long as he sleeps, it doesn’t really matter, does it?”

“When are you planning on telling him about your feelings?” Sungmin glances up in surprise as Kyuhyun makes his remark. Kyuhyun smirks. “It’s very obvious, you know. I can’t believe the blockhead hasn’t picked up yet.”

“I’ll tell him in due time.”

“Just make sure you do. It won’t be fair on him if he doesn’t know how you feel.”

Jongwoon and Kyuhyun leave Sungmin in Ryeowook's room, bickering with each other again in hushed tones.

Sungmin stares at Ryeowook. He smiles and pecks Ryeowook lightly on the cheek.

“Good night Wookie. Sweet dreams.”

---

A/N: Finally got this done :) Have a guess which fairytale it's based off (not that it's, you know, blatantly obvious given the red, grandmothers and wolves). Gimme a shout what you think the moral of the story is...
Italics are what happened in real life, whereas normal font is the fairytale realm.
I know this isn't supposed to be a KyuSung-centric fic, but hey, I love this OTP. So I started off with them ^^ I seem to really love creeper Kyu, so here he is again. And I know, drugging grandmothers isn't very...nice and all...I just couldn't think of a better alternative than eating grandmothers.
On a completely relevant note, phoenix_soar is freaking psychic and saw through my whole fic as soon as I mentioned creepy stalker Kyu...Arvy you amaze me. So here's a shout-out to you :)

Comments appreciated!

Scents of the Sea

2012-01-08T08:51:10Z

Title: Scents of the Sea
Pairing: Kyusung (Kyuhyun x Yesung)
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Romance, Fantasy
Disclaimer: I don't own anything besides the plot and writing, despite how much I wish I owned Super Junior.
Summary: The line between dreams and reality gets blurred, and Kyuhyun no longer wants to remember what's real.
Warning: Attempted smut. Sorry from the author in advance (lol...)

10 Settings Challenge - Bonus: Wonderland

A/N: You thought I was done? Fooled ya!

It all began on a beach. Kyuhyun was only three, when one night he found himself on the coast. He can still remember the salty air and the soothing sound of waves lapping at the sand. He had walked along the stretch of sand when he saw the boy. He had beautiful hair, and immaculate eyes, and Kyuhyun remembers being drawn in by those orbs. He ran up to the boy.

"Hi."

"Who…are you?"

"I'm called Kim Jongwoon. I'm 7. Who are you?"

"I'm Cho Kyuhyun. I just turned 3."

"That makes me your hyung then."

"I guess so. Where are we?"

"We're on a beach...this is a dream. Do you want to play with me?"

"Okay Jongwoon hyung!"

Kyuhyun remembers how he had frozen when the boy, Kim Jongwoon, had reached out and stroked Kyuhyun's philtrum. But Jongwoon had tugged on Kyuhyun's hands and both of them ran across the beach. They had built sandcastles, and played tag with each other. They splashed against the waves, and went swimming in a crystal clear ocean. Jongwoon pointed at the turtles that had just hatched on the beach, admiring the animals. The boys watched as the turtles made their way slowly to the sea.

It was their shared dreamworld, and everything was ethereal and idyllic. It was their own version of paradise.

But all dreams came to an end. When Kyuhyun woke up, he said the name out loud.

"Kim Jongwoon."

He was still too young to find it strange that he could remember all the minute details of his dream with his imaginary friend, but he was glad that even when he was sleeping he could still play to his heart's content.

---

Throughout Kyuhyun's childhood, he continued to have dreams of Jongwoon. They would always play in different settings: mountains, lakes, forests, museums. The world was was their playground. They were the gods in their dreamworld, their wonderland. There would be times when Kyuhyun woke up and think that Jongwoon was real. He loved his hyung and looked up to him. Kyuhyun needed to remind himself constantly that his best friend, Kim Jongwoon, didn't actually exist. He needed to focus on his real friends, but he couldn't help but look forward to the night time, to when the sun set, because that was the time he spent with Jongwoon.

Soon, Kyuhyun had grown into a lanky young kid and Jongwoon grew up with him. Kyuhyun was convinced that Jongwoon was the most handsome person he knew. He secretly praised his imagination for creating him, but at the same time he regretted it because it meant that Jongwoon was attractive. The last thing Kyuhyun wanted to be was attracted to an imaginary person.

Throughout Kyuhyun's middle and high school years, the relationship between Kyuhyun and Jongwoon started to change. They started to talk more rather than play, sharing their innermost thoughts as well as bickering and teasing each other. Their hopes, their fears, and their dreams. But Kyuhyun never dared to voice out the question he wanted to know the answer to the most: Are you real? Logic had made it clear to Kyuhyun that it wasn't possible that Kim Jongwoon had existed, but he couldn't stop hoping that Jongwoon existed beyond their dreams, beyond Kyuhyun and Jongwoon's wonderland. He had developed a love for this perfect person that only existed in his dreams.

Both of them developed a passion for music and singing, and instead of playing at the beach, they found themselves in music rooms practicing their vocals. Kyuhyun knew that he had never heard a voice more beautiful than the one of his hyung's. He skimmed his fingers over the keys of the piano, and they both harmonized together beautifully. They would argue over which songs they wanted to sing together, and which ones were better. Sometimes, they would know songs that the other didn't, and Kyuhyun would forget that Kim Jongwoon didn't exist, that it was all a dream.

Kyuhyun learnt that Jongwoon lived in Cheonan, and was bullied at school. Kyuhyun shared his worries about familial issues with Jongwoon. Both of them found convalescence through their relationship with each other. Kyuhyun didn't have many friends in reality - he was the class nerd who was a maths prodigy. But it didn't matter, because he had Jongwoon. Even though he wasn't real, Kyuhyun treasured the friendship they shared. Jongwoon was always there for Kyuhyun when he needed him. All he had to do was sleep.

---

The beach was always special for Kyuhyun and Jongwoon though. During their birthdays, special events or anything, they would find themselves on the beach where they first met. So when Kyuhyun had found himself on the beach on a very ordinary day, he knew something was going to happen. The beach was special. He had looked around, and saw Jongwoon sitting further away, drawing with a stick in the sand. He launched himself at his hyung, hugging him from behind.

"Jongwoonie hung! Did you wait for me for a long time?"

"Not really…"

"So why are we at the beach today?"

"Kyu-ah, is it weird that I think I…love you?"

"Jongwoon-hyung, what are you talking about? This is a dream. Anything can happen."

Kyuhyun remembers how he had held his breath, and Jongwoon had leaned over and clumsily planted a kiss on his lips. His first kiss. The soft lapping of the waves dimly registered in his brain.

Kyuhyun had always associated the beach and the sea with the feelings of first love.

Since Jongwoon's confession, they had been on dates during their dreams. It was amazing that they were in their own world, the world of Jongwoon and Kyuhyun, because they could visit places they normally wouldn't be able to. Dates at the aquarium, on a cruise, in a five-star spa resort. They reveled in their ability to appear in any setting they wanted, and enjoy luxuries that ordinary high school students wouldn't be able to afford. Hugging, interlocked fingers and lots of kisses. Kyuhyun found himself reluctant to wake up, and he felt empty when he awakened to reality.

Mount Fuji had been where Jongwoon took Kyuhyun during their first anniversary. Although there were no people around, and the hike up didn't take as long as it would have in reality, they had sat at the top and watched the sun rise as sakura petals floated around them. Kyuhyun had leaned his head against Jongwoon's shoulder.

Kyuhyun resented waking up. The dreams had started to become his reality. Jongwoon was his reality.

---

Despite all the special places they had visited on their "dates", the beach had still remained as their special place. When they had decided to do it for the first time, they found themselves on the beach the next night. Kyuhyun had been so shy, but Jongwoon had kissed him gently and told him that he would take care of him.

Kyuhyun figured that since it was just a dream, it was okay.

Jongwoon gently trailed kisses all over Kyuhyun's body as he started to undo his jeans. Kyuhyun doesn't remember how he had lost his shirt, but it was a dream. Things just didn't make sense and move continuously.

The next thing Kyuhyun remembers was that he was naked, not to mentioned engulfed expertly by Jongwoon's mouth. Was it possible that sex would feel better in their wonderland than it would in reality? He was pretty sure that Jongwoon was a virgin too…but all thoughts flew out the window as Jongwoon tongue started to do things to him and sent shivers of excitement down his spine. Deep guttural moans escaped his mouth. He wasn't even aware he was capable of reaching octaves that low. He reached out for support, and ran his hands through Jongwoon's hair. He knew he shouldn't be pulling, but he couldn't help himself as sensations of pleasure raced through his body.
He looked up at Jongwoon, who ran his tongue over his lips. Kyuhyun couldn't help but pull his hyung down for a kiss, and he didn't even care that he could taste himself.

"I wonder if it would hurt if we did it here, in our wonderland."

"If it does, tell me. I'll stop."

"But what if I don't want you to stop?"

The answers to their questions had been yes, it did hurt even though Jongwoon had used lube- (how did he just randomly make lube materialize?) - and his fingers to try prep him and lessen the pain.

Tears slid down Kyuhyun's face, which had made Jongwoon stop.

"No, don't stop."

"But you're hurting."

"I'm tearing up because being here with you, like this, feels so right."

Kyuhyun leaned up to kiss Jongwoon, and Jongwoon had joined their bodies together. Jongwoon didn't move, allowing Kyuhyun to get used to his size. When Kyuhyun finally started squirming, Jongwoon started to move in a rhythm as old as time. Jongwoon groaned, and Kyuhyun still thinks it is the most beautiful sound he has ever heard Jongwoon make.

The roar of waves and the smell of the salty air combined with moans accompanied both Kyuhyun and Jongwoon over the edge.

They later cuddled together on the beach, watching the sunset.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

What was left unsaid on that beach that night was "I wish you were real."

---

They were back at the beach again when Jongwoon had broken the news to Kyuhyun.

"I don't know if we can meet up anymore…"

Kyuhyun's blood had frozen when Jongwoon uttered the words. Was it possible that his imaginary boyfriend-slash-lover was breaking up with him? Was it even possible?

"Why?"

"I got accepted into a famous entertainment company. I'm going to pursue my dreams…but I've heard that they have minimal sleeping hours….so that might cut into our time for meeting up. I love you though. Nothing will ever change that."

Kyuhyun had stared at Jongwoon, dumbfounded. He had given up on love in reality, but love was abandoning him even in his dreams too. Jongwoon had held Kyuhyun as he cried, murmuring "I'm sorry" and "I'll always love you" repeatedly.

When Kyuhyun had woken up with tears on his face, he wondered what it meant. Maybe his subconscious was telling him that he should pursue his dream of becoming a singer.

The next day he signed up for a singing competition.

Despite Jongwoon worrying that they wouldn't be able to see each other, Kyuhyun still dreamt of Jongwoon from time to time. Kyuhyun was lucky because when he needed the comfort of Jongwoon's arms, he would still be there waiting in the wonderland disguised as a dream.

"How…have you been?"

"I've missed you terribly."

"Me too. It feels weird not seeing you at night."

"Hyung I'm going to become a singer."

"That's great, I'm so happy for you. We're both pursuing our dreams."

But there was one part of his dream, the part called Kim Jongwoon, that Kyuhyun wants to pursue. But he couldn't. Because Kim Jongwoon wasn't real.

---

Kyuhyun had joined SME as a trainee for 2 years when he saw an awfully familiar face. It was Jongwoon.

Was he so sleep deprived that he started dreaming again? He pinched himself. Jongwoon didn't see him, but was laughing at something the person next to him was saying. Weird…no one else had ever featured in their dreams before...

But when he turned around and saw his friend Changmin, he realized this was reality.

"Who is that?"

"Oh, he's called Yesung. He's going to debut soon with Super Junior 05. I think he's friends with Jae, but I'm not sure. I heard he's really strange, but he has an amazing voice."

"Oh okay."

"His looks caught your eye, eh? I think it's the first time you've asked me about someone else."

"No…he just looks a lot like someone I know."

It was creepy, but Kyuhyun had stalked Yesung. He had to find out who the person who looked like Jongwoon was. He would sit a few tables away when Yesung was in the cafe eating, or he would walk around until he heard Yesung's voice in the practice rooms. It was weird, but Yesung sounded exactly like Jongwoon. He even found out that Yesung had an unhealthy obsession with turtles too. Just like Jongwoon.

Kyuhyun no longer cried himself to sleep at night. He had been waiting for Jongwoon to appear in reality, and it seemed that Yesung was the answer to his prayers.

---

It took Kyuhyun exactly 4 months and 13 days to gather all his courage and approach Yesung. He was staring at a piece of music intently in the practice rooms, and Kyuhyun finally decided to knock on the door.

"Hi."

Somehow, Kyuhyun felt as if he was transported back to the beach, back when he was still 3 and Jongwoon was 7.

"Kyu-ah, it took you long enough to come talk to me."

"How…"

"You're a terrible stalker, did you know that?" Yesung got up, and stroked Kyuhyun's philtrum. Kyuhyun was at a loss for words, and his eyes widened as Yesung's eyes softened.

"Your philtrum is just as nice as I remembered from our dreams. Can you imagine my shock when I found out you were real? I thought I had been in love with an imaginary guy for more than half of my life…"

"I thought you were imaginary too…"

"All my life, I've been waiting for you to appear in reality. And here you are."

"And here you are."

Kyuhyun blushed as Yesung kept staring at him. He looked at the book Yesung had been reading previously. The name "Kim Jongwoon" was written in a messy scrawl on the cover. Surprise washed over Kyuhyun as he picked up the book and stared at the name.

"Yesung's just my stage name. My real name is Kim Jongwoon."

Kyuhyun blinked back the tears.

"Why are you crying?"

"I'm tearing up because being here with you, like this, feels so right."

Jongwoon wrapped his arms around Kyuhyun.

---

Kyuhyun no longer dreams of Jongwoon. They no longer share that wonderland that was their dream world. But that's only because reality is better than their dreams. He snuggles up to Jongwoon, and Jongwoon encircles his arms around him.

"Kyu-ah, we have early schedules tomorrow. Let's sleep."

Kyuhyun swears he can smell the sea as he playfully roams his hands over Jongwoon's body.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Making sure that you're real."

"They call you evil for a reason, don't they? You always get what you want." Jongwoon complains as he flips Kyuhyun under him and starts removing the clothes that were acting as barriers between them. "Just don't blame me if you're sore tomorrow."

"I won't." Kyuhyun smirks.

Reality was much, much better.

---

A/N: Now I'm actually done with this challenge! Phew! Apologies for the smut - it's the first time I've tried. I wanted to add something new with this. Apologies for a kinda awkward ending... xD
Thanks everyone who followed all the settings I've written <3 You guys have no idea how encouraging the comments you've left me are. I love you all!!
-showers everyone with cookies-
I've been on a writing rampage lately. I have nothing better to do during my holidays lol. It's driving me nuts :(
And if any of you are on Formspring, come chat with me. I just opened an account lately...I want more friends ;__;

Malaise

2012-01-07T03:43:16Z

Title: Malaise
Pairing: broken!KyuSung (Kyuhyun x Yesung), ninja!Yesica (Yesung x Jessica)
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst, dystopia!AU
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the people mentioned in this. Unfortunately.
Summary: Love is a disease (not to mention illegal) and they have a cure for it.

10 Settings Challenge: #7 - Mountains

Kyuhyun's heart started to feel numb after so much hurt. Even at this place, this place that was filled with all their precious memories, he hadn't shed a tear. He looked at the wedding invitation in his hand.

"Kim Jongwoon and Jessica Jung cordially invite you to their wedding…"

Kyuhyun had read the words over and over again ever since he received it last week. They were getting married today. He bit back the tears that were threatening to spill once again. It was difficult not to remember the memories that they had shared when he was back at their mountain where they had first confessed that they were in love with each other.

At the time, it didn't feel like it was a disease.

But Kyuhyun couldn't say the same anymore. Love was no longer a blessing when only one of them was in it.

He clenched his fist as he remembered the day that they had taken Jongwoon away to have the surgery performed. They claimed it was the cure to the disease called love.

The surgery was performed on all people who were above the age of 18 ever since they discovered that they were able to alter a part of the human brain to stop the "emotion" called love. Scientists had later claimed that love was, in fact, a disease that caused not only biological problems such as heart disease for humans, but also social problems like war. It was better to become emotionless, they claimed. It was better for mankind.

Ironically, they had only considered love between a man and a woman. They hadn't realized that love could exist between people that were biologically unable to produce offspring. But it had been this loophole in their plan that had allowed Jongwoon and Kyuhyun to fall in love. They had debuted as idols in an all-male group with no interaction what-so-ever with female idols, so they had been allowed to have their surgery at a much later date. Marriage always followed the procedure, and idols were required to remain single as long as possible.

What they hadn't realized was that two males, or two females, could also fall in love.

The first time they had visited this mountain, Jongwoon had grabbed Kyuhyun and kissed him at the mountain top as the sun rose.

"Jongwoon hyung…"

"i know it's illegal to be in love. It's a disease. But I can't help myself. I'm in love with you."

"I…think I'm in love with you too."

They were both young and reckless - they hid their love from the world that was against it. Love wasn't allowed, but they didn't care. Kim Jongwoon loved Cho Kyuhyun, Cho Kyuhyun love Kim Jongwoon. It was all that mattered at the time.

But they were far too naive, for their love was discovered despite all the stolen kisses in the dark, minimal skinships and frequent getaways from the city. They had still found out about their affair. Kyuhyun was thankful though for the one year of love he was allowed to have. But he wondered: was it worth all this pain? They had been given two choices: either attend a public trial and get executed, or perform the surgery. Staying together was not an option.

The only regret Kyuhyun has is that his love for Jongwoon also caused the group disband. They had to be removed from the spotlight. They were criminals because they felt emotion, and that was definitely not allowed to be encouraged. Adolescents who had not yet been operated on looked up to these idols who sang about utopia, the ideal world where everyone lived in harmony. The beauty of society that had no emotion.

Kyuhyun remembered how he felt like such a hypocrite at the time. He wanted to sing about love, about the beautiful emotion that had painted his world with splashes of color.

Kyuhyun hiked to the top of the mountain alone. The last time he had been here, it was the day before Jongwoon's procedure.

"Kyuhyun…I need to go tomorrow."

"But we can run away! They can't take this away from us."

"What kind of life would we lead if we run? I'm the older one, I can't jeopardize your future, our futures, because of our emotions."

"But we're in love…"

"And they will never be able to take that away from us. No matter what happens."

Kyuhyun smiled bitterly. Jongwoon had lied. After the procedure, he had acted as if he felt nothing for Kyuhyun. He had continued with life as if Kyuhyun was just an acquaintance. He had wanted to ask Jongwoon if he remembered, if he felt anything at all after the procedure, but Jongwoon had always changed the subject. The weather's nice today. Look at that turtle. Let's sing a song. Kyuhyun never got a straight answer, and Jongwoon had never reacted to their inside jokes or things that were markers of their past. He had forgotten about Kyuhyun and the love they once shared. All he remembered was that Kyuhyun was a dear friend. That was all.

When they had told Jongwoon to choose a girl to marry from the list of girls that were "suitable", Jongwoon had asked Kyuhyun to help him pick. It was pure torture as Kyuhyun looked through all the pretty faces. Jessica. Tiffany. Krystal. What was with all the English names anyhow? None of them were more suitable for Jongwoon than Kyuhyun was. It was cruel for Kyuhyun to have to choose a wife for the love of his life. He had wanted to scream at Jongwoon.

But he masked his hurt, and randomly pointed at a girl. Jessica Jung.

Now Jessica Jung was going to become the next Mrs. Kim Jongwoon. Kyuhyun has never been jealous of anyone before in his life, but he envied this Jessica Jung. What did she have that he didn't? She didn't deserve Jongwoon. No one other than Kyuhyun did.

His phone rang. It was Hyukjae, one of his closest friends.

"They just got married."

Kyuhyun tried to maintain what he hoped was a steady voice as his vision blurred with tears.

"That's…good to hear."

"I'm sorry. But at least you won't care after the operation tomorrow."

"I know. I just wish my surgery was scheduled earlier."

"I'm sorry Kyu. But you'll be cured soon."

He sat down on the mountain. Was this really the last time he would be able to feel anything?

He heard the love calls of birds in the distance, and looked out at the city of Seoul. He allowed himself the luxury of crying his heart out. No one else was here. He could do as he wished. Loud, uncontrolled sobs for the love he had, the love he lost.

Love really was a disease.

It was capable of lowering your guard and making you believe that it wasn't such a bad thing after all. It made you believe that you were safe in the other person's arms. But then it would turn around and tear your heart out. It was capable of making you feel like you wanted to die.

On the bright side, there was a cure other than death.

Kyuhyun watched the sunset, trying to commit all the beautiful memories of Jongwoon to memory. He didn't want to forget. He only wanted to stop the hurt. He wondered what would happen once the procedure occurred. He'd find out when tomorrow came.

But for now, he was alone on the mountain, their mountain. It might become just an ordinary mountain after tomorrow, but for today it was a symbol of the love he shared with Jongwoon. It was special, because their relationship once was.

Kyuhyun drowned himself in the images of kisses, interlocked hands, and embraces.

- - - - -

Somewhere in the middle of Seoul, tears silently slid down Jongwoon's face as he lay in bed next to his bride.

His thoughts were racing with unspoken words.

"Kyu-ah, I miss you. But this is for the better. You have a better chance at a happy ever after this way."

A/N: Last in the 10 settings challenge! Apologies, it's somewhat angsty and all depressing. This was inspired by Lauren Oliver's Delirium (strongly recommended, even though I'm nowhere near finished). Malaise means sickness. Hope you guys, uh...liked it. Even though YeKyu get separated :(:( IT'S OKAY. THEY'RE STILL REAL. And Yesica was paired up because of the Gayo Daejun...

Comments appreciated. Gimme a shout about what you guys think!

Once Upon a Time - Prologue

2012-01-05T14:14:55Z

Title: Once Upon a Time
Pairings: MinWook (Sungmin x Ryeowook) // and more.
Rating: PG
Length: Chaptered
Genre: Romance / Fairytale!AU
Summary: When sleep refuses to come, Ryeowook starts to rely on Sungmin's expertise in story-telling...

-Prologue-
Once Upon a Time...

The warm milk and sheep counting weren't helping at all. Ryeowook stared at his blinking alarm clock.
2:32 am.
Just great. He had a schedule early tomorrow morning, and he needed to wake up early and cook for everyone. He sighed. He hadn't been sleeping well for the past week. It was showing - Junsu had taken him aside and told him to take sleeping pills if it got serious. Ryeowook sat up and looked at his table. The white pills were there. If he really needed to...but he shouldn't. It wasn't healthy to rely on the drugs to sleep.

The sound of a quiet knock on his door. Sungmin pokes his head in.
"Hyung! What are you still doing up?"
"Wookie, are you still finding it hard to sleep?"
"Mm, yeah..."
"I thought so. I find that when it's hard for me to sleep, Kyuhyun reading fairytales always helps! So I thought I would come over and read you some fairytales..."

Ryeowook's heart clenched when he heard the maknae's name come out of Sungmin's mouth. But he masked the hurt, as he always had done, and just smiled.

"Okay hyung. Maybe it'll help. But if you're too tired..."
"It's okay Wookie. I don't have an early schedule tomorrow. I'll be okay."
"Okay then. Tell me a fairytale."
"So once upon a time..."

---
A/N: An idea that's been stuck with me for a while ... fairytale!AU Super Junior. Each chapter is going to be it's own little one-shot, but it all links up somehow in the end.
I also wanted to play around with some different pairings too (since all I ever write is Kyusung...~~not that I'm bored of it or anything /bricks~~). But yeah, Kyusung will definitely feature in this too (more than once, perhaps - old habits die hard). And like a fairy godmother, if there are any pairings that you would like me to write about, gimme a shout in the comments and I may grant your wish. The only couple that is set in stone is Minwook. Other than that, I'm open to anything ^^

Will update this soon! :) Need to finish my 10 Settings challenge first though LOL. Look at me, getting all distracted...