find your way into the light

Dear Yuletide Author... (2017)

trialia — Mon, 09 Oct 2017 04:07:26 GMT

Dear Yuletide author,

Thanks for reading my letter, and for writing this year, whether or not you choose to do so for me specifically - I love reading so much of the fic that comes out of Yuletide every year! If you're my assigned author, thank you ever so much for offering one or more of my requested fandoms — I really appreciate it. I hope that you find something in my prompts that will inspire you, or that you'll at least not dislike!

Triggers:

The following are triggers and/or near-triggers for my PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder with anxiety attacks). I'd prefer that you try to avoid most of these, though I know PYAH has a fair bit of what most people would call physical & emotional abuse due to its being a kidnap story, so anything in line with the content level of a given canon should be fine - I'd prefer a warning if you go that route for PYAH, though, please. If I have advance notice something will crop up, I can usually cope with it.

The following are more or less in order of severity, worst first:

References to weight and diet, specifically including numbers, weight manipulation and/or eating-disordered behaviour.
Gore and/or body horror.
Domestic violence; familial abuse.
Sexual, physical and/or emotional abuse.
Sexual intercourse with dubious or no consent.
Ableism and/or ableist language ("idiot" or "crazy" are OK, "moron", "nutter" or anything worse would not be, for a guideline).

Kink(s):

If you don't wish to include any kink or sexual content, please do feel free to ignore the following paragraph.
If you'd like to include kink in any story for my prompts, please limit it to mild breathplay, mild bloodplay and/or minimal bondage, with the least amount of pain possible, please - I live with chronic pain, and I tend to prefer to escape from it in my reading material, much as I don't have any problems with other people enjoying it: YKINMK (and that's OK). I tend towards a preference for focus on the female body (whatever the gender of the person in the body) when reading smut, if it's that level of explicit; I also quite like to read about hair-pulling and semi-public sex tropes in fiction, though I am myself genderfluid, asexual & homoromantic.

Squicks and/or strong dislikes in fic (no particular order):

Incest, dubious consent or non-consensual kissing and/or groping. BDSM and/or any kink not listed earlier in my post. Rimming. Sex during pregnancy. Sex where one or more participants are under 16 years of age. Character- and/or actor-bashing. Horror; torture; canon-atypical violence. Non-canonical irreversible major character death. Non-consensual infidelity. Harm to animals.

Prompts/Requests

Request 1: Prove Yourself A Hero — K. M. Peyton (Books & Literature)

Fandom: Prove Yourself A Hero - K. M. Peyton
Characters: Jonathan Meredith, Peter McNair

This isn't quite a 5-minute fandom, but it's not far off - the novella is under 200 pages in length and available via Amazon Marketplace. I don't know if it's available in ebook yet.

I may have had slash goggles on, but I felt that there were an almost startling number of pre-slash hints in this book, especially between Peter and Jonathan, and most of all while Jonathan is missing. So - maybe you could go a little less subtextual? Pretty please?

Peter knows Jonathan's life is in his hands to a degree, and that must be a pretty heavy burden for a boy in the late teens, especially where someone one cares about is concerned. He clearly knows Jonathan far better than J's parents do, and I get the impression that he probably cares a lot more about him as a person than his family do - his parents often seem to see Jonathan more as a symbol and someone through whom to vicariously live their ambitions on his behalf.

Hurt/comfort would be welcome if you set this after Jonathan's return, and if you'd like to include Jessica or Melissa, which is entirely your choice, I'm interested in what it might be like if the two of them covered for the boys, since this novella *is* set in the 1970s, post-decriminalisation of homosexuality in the UK, but it still wasn't too widely accepted by then. Why might they agree to do that? What would it take? Jonathan does flirt with Melissa in public in canon - so what would they talk about in private if perhaps he wasn't really as interested as he's letting others see?

So long as any fill for this prompt focuses on Peter and Jonathan and their interactions, I'm good!

Request 2: Chalet School — Elinor M. Brent-Dyer (Books & Literature)

Fandom: Chalet School - Elinor M. Brent-Dyer
Characters: Any/None

I haven't chosen any specific characters for this one, as I have several prompts here, some of which include no canon characters at all. You don't have to write any of the nominated characters unless you want to. I am happy with any of this being explored! :)

Non-Canon Character Prompts:

- I've always wondered how the CS might deal with a student who isn't Christian, whose parent(s)/guardian(s) would rather not see her converted (Mary Lou's treatment of Naomi in the unabridged version makes my blood boil!), or perhaps one who feels they want to convert to another faith while already a student there - pagan, Buddhist, Unitarian or Unitarian Universalist would be my preferred choices there, but anything else you want to explore is fine too.

- Same again, but for a character who maybe needs a long-term mobility aid while still well enough to study, or perhaps one of the students at the Annexe for "delicate" children, or someone who wishes to continue studying in spite of chronic health problems of whatever kind, whether explained or unexplained? I don't think we ever saw much dealing with students who were more impaired than acutely or even chronically ill, apart from the aforementioned Naomi, & she was "fixed".

What would it be like for someone with a physical impairment or chronic condition who couldn't be "fixed" or magically healed by the San? Especially if they couldn't be sent home or didn't want to be?

We've seen the occasional mistress with a migraine, but never a student. I get migraines: started at age 14! They often do hit people with XX biology mid-teens, especially menstrual migraines, but this never seemed to happen to anybody under 18 in the series - that annoyed me so much as a teenager.

- How would the school cope with a student who turned out not to be 100% binary female gender, whether they were genderfluid or wanted to transition?

Canonical Character Prompts:

-- Margot Maynard:

Margot perhaps coming out as lesbian or pansexual (obv not in this language, as pan wasn't common use when Margot left school in 1970-71) rather than a wannabe nun, or perhaps feeling that becoming a nun was an escape from something her parents would have a very hard time accepting. Maybe not all her sibs would feel the same, though - I can't recall any alternate orientation ever being mentioned in canon, even among adults, but male homosexuality was decriminalised in 1967. Her brothers also spent a lot of time at school in England, well away from their Catholic family...

How would her triplets respond to something like that? Do you think they'd know? Len has plans to marry a man right out of school, but Con doesn't. Margot... well. Does she know there might be other options for her than shutting herself away from the world? (I'm not demeaning the religious route, but I never felt it worked for Margot based on her previous character.)

Or does she perhaps have a mental health condition whereby she genuinely hallucinates her "devil", that her parents & most of the generally physical-illness-focused medical staff at the San might not recognise? It seemed to me they made so many assumptions about Margot's devil, right from the start, & locked themselves into that one possibility. What if it wasn't what they thought?

What happened to Margot in Canada?

-- Margot Maynard, Francie Wilford

Citing Ruey Richardson--Chaletian, unabridged... What would it have been like for these two if Margot developed a similar fascination to the one Francie had for her, later on? And what *would* her sisters say - if they knew anything about it? Could they hide it? Femmeslash would be very welcome here, but 16 or older, please.

-- Len Maynard, Jack Lambert

I quote (from The Chalet School Wins the Trick, unabridged edition):

'Josette laughed. "Jack's a demon all right, but I don't think she'd do a thing like that. For one thing, she'd know that Len would be down on her like a ton of bricks if she ever heard of it. Jack wouldn't risk that. The sun seems to rise and set on young Len so far as she's concerned!"

"What? Len! You surely don't mean -- "

Josette broke in on Gwen's speech at once. "Don't be such an ass! Of course I don't! Len would never allow anything like that to happen. Besides, *can* you imagine Jack Lambert going all soft and soppy on anyone - Jack, of all people! She's still more like a boy than a girl in most ways. But she does think an awful lot of what Len says, especially after the way the kid stood by her last term when she was in all that trouble over Miss Bertram's affair!"'

Is Josette really as sure about this as she sounds? Might she be mistaken? Or did someone let slip what she'd have been safer concealing? I can't help but wonder...

Request 3: Chalion Saga — Lois McMaster Bujold (Books & Literature)

Fandom: Chalion Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Characters: Desdemona (Chalion), Penric kin Jurald

I've always wondered, and Mira's Last Dance made me wonder even more, what kind of effect would it have on Penric's love life and his orientation to be essentially sharing his mind and body with imprints of a dozen other personalities, none of whom share what he'd always thought to be his gender identity? (I know, the language doesn't match the era, but I wanted to be clear.)

If that's not of interest to you, what would all of this be like from Desdemona's point of view? I'd love to see what she's/they're thinking at any time in the canon...

Request 4: Ysabel — Guy Gavriel Kay (Books & Literature)

Fandom: Ysabel - Guy Gavriel Kay
Characters: Melanie (Ysabel), Ysabel (Ysabel)

I love this story, but I can't help but wonder exactly what it was like for Melanie - before, during, after - and for Ysabel, too. Melanie tried to break through, tried to influence Ysabel, and in some ways she did, but how did she manage it?

Does Ysabel want the cycle to end more than she will admit? And how did she figure out her final revelation about why Ned got involved to begin with (if you know the book, you'll know what it is, but I don't want to spoil people)? How does the cycle run? How did it begin to happen this way?

Request 5: Rivers of London - Ben Aaronovitch (Books & Literature)

Fandom: Rivers of London - Ben Aaronovitch
Characters: Thomas Nightingale, Peter Grant (Rivers of London)

This is a partially recycled request, to give more choice for matching, but that doesn't mean I'd like it any less :) I have edited it a bit this time. I'm fully up to date with the formally published parts of canon, graphic novels and The Furthest Station included.

Peter/Nightingale is one of those rare male slash 'ships for me outside of Middle-Earth. I'd love to see a romantic relationship between the two of them develop organically, without feeling especially awkward or stilted; I've seen that done, but not in the context of my other plotty prompts below, and that I'd love.

I enjoy Peter's constant cultural references, but I'd be delighted to hear from Nightingale's point of view as well, since that doesn't happen in the books, for obvious reasons.

Whether you want to write m/m or not, I'd be really happy to get something dealing with Nightingale's life before the series began, or that part of it Peter doesn't see, and/or perhaps Peter's impact on Nightingale's life from the latter's POV. What was it like growing up the youngest of six and losing so many people, living through both world wars? How would he react to popular culture perceptions of immortality, and which of them would he most likely encounter?

I would also (and/or) love to see Peter introduced to some part of Nightingale's life he hasn't previously had any idea about - by way of casefic or any other common crime or fantasy trope you like, if you feel like it. I'd prefer if you didn't kill off either Peter or Thomas, though, at least not permanently, and I do tend to prefer lighter or light-ending angst fic at this time of year.

Explicit is okay, if you choose to go that direction.

Request 6: D.E.B.S. (2004) (Movies)

Fandom: D.E.B.S. (2004)
Characters: Amy Bradshaw, Lucy Diamond

What would happen if Amy decided to go bad instead of Lucy going the other way? What would they do? Would they ever get caught or change their minds? Or would it mean a face-off between Amy, Lucy and her former housemates?

---

If you'd like to investigate my interests further, or you're looking for something that might help with a yuleswap, you can usually find me in IRC #yuletide chat (server irc.slashnet.org if you've never been there before) between sign-ups and author reveals, though don't rely on "normal hours" for someone in BST/GMT/UTC, as I don't keep them! ;) If I'm not on IRC and you want to contact me directly about something - beta-reading, for instance, which I'm generally happy to do in most of my fandoms - all my contact methods are listed on my personal domain, unfaithful-mirror.net, or you can comment here.

You can find my past and present fannish activities via AO3, joyunending.net, FF.net and/or Tragic Adoration. I also use GoodReads, LibraryThing, Backloggery, Twitter, Facebook and BookMooch on a regular basis. By the way, if a crossover or fusion happens to strike you for one of my prompts, I will be perfectly happy with that, provided it's crossed with a fandom I know and love - you can find those in my joined fanlistings section at T.A., or in the lists of favourite fanfiction on AO3 or FF.net, or the fandoms for which I've written.

Thank you for reading my letter, and I hope you have a wonderful Yuletide!

Sincerely,
Tria

Dear Yuletide Author... (2016)

trialia — Mon, 10 Oct 2016 11:51:54 GMT

Dear Yuletide Author,

Firstly, as always, I thank you for signing up and offering at least one of my fandoms - I'm very grateful!

If you're my assigned author, I sincerely hope that I haven't given you anything to write that you might find stressful or distasteful, and that you enjoy writing whatever you've decided to write for me as much as I enjoy writing for others - and thank you very much. I will be extremely happy to get any one of my five requests this year, whichever it is, and I really look forward to seeing what you come up with. :) I'm sure it will be awesome! :D

If you're not my assigned author, and you're just looking for prompts you might like to write as treats - thank you for reading my post, and I hope you find inspiration, whether here or elsewhere, and I'm sure whatever you write will be great. Thanks :)

Well, then... On to the squick, trigger, and kink lists, then the prompts. I don't think it's my place to judge what other people may or may not enjoy in their fiction and/or fanfiction, and I hope that nobody will take anything in the following sections as criticism or implied criticism of their likes or dislikes. I promise nothing here is intended that way.

___

Kink(s):

If you'd like to include some kink in any story you write to one of the prompts below, please limit it to mild breathplay, mild bloodplay and/or minimal bondage, with the least amount of pain possible, please - I live with chronic pain, and I tend to prefer to escape from it in my reading material, much as I don't have any problems with other people enjoying it: YKINMK. I tend towards a preference for focus on the female body (whatever the gender of the person in the body) when reading smut, if it's that level of explicit; I also quite like to read about hair-pulling and semi-public sex tropes in fiction, though I am myself asexual and homoromantic. If you don't wish to include any kink or sexual content, please do feel free to ignore this paragraph.

Triggers and/or near-triggers...

Please do take these into account, as I have PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) in reality, so reading about the following subjects may well send me into an anxiety attack, particularly if no advance warning is given.

References to weight and diet, specifically including numbers, weight manipulation and/or eating-disordered behaviour. Domestic violence; familial abuse. Sexual, physical and/or emotional abuse. Sexual intercourse with dubious or no consent. Gore and/or body horror. Ableism and/or ableist language.

NB While I understand that Venetia may potentially have ableist language in relation to Aubrey, I would prefer that you try to avoid it if possible, and if impossible, please warn in the header. Many thanks.

Squicks and/or strong dislikes:

Incest, dubious consent or non-consensual kissing and/or groping. BDSM and/or any kink not listed earlier in my post. Rimming. Sex during pregnancy. Sex where one or more participants are under 16 years of age. Character- and/or actor-bashing. Horror; torture; canon-atypical violence. Non-canonical irreversible major character death. Non-consensual infidelity. Harm to animals.

___

PROMPTS :D

Request #1
Fandom: October Daye Series - Seanan McGuire
Character(s): October "Toby" Daye; Tybalt (October Daye); The Luidaeg (October Daye)

[Please note that the prompts below may contain some (unmarked) spoilers for the latest three books in the series, The Winter Long, A Red-Rose Chain, and Once Broken Faith.]

Prompt(s):

Toby and Tybalt are agreed they want the Luidaeg to attend their wedding (possibly even to give Toby away, if that's how you think fae weddings should work - who would do that?). However, she might not be allowed - traditionally - to go far from the sea for very long, and if they're getting married in Toronto, that's nearly 500 miles from the nearest saltwater, even in the Summerlands. But they want her there - Toby especially - and, by hook or by crook, Toby generally gets what she wants. (Even if it might mean turning Lake Ontario into saltwater for a week or two. Or something. What would you do?)

If you're not keen on my first prompt, this one is from my previous requests, and would still be very welcome...

I'd quite like to see some kind of discussion about potential future family for Toby and Tybalt, whether they want or can have children of their own together or not and how that might go (and I'm childfree by choice, so I'm more than cool with "not" here).

How would someone who's sometimes a cat and sometimes human, and someone in Toby's position, consider the concept of kids? Can they have them? Would they want to? After all, they both have major issues around children given their past history with other people, both having effectively lost a child, so who could blame them if they decided they didn't want kids? After all, Tybalt has an heir already...

Given Toby's history with the Court of Cats, I'd be equally interested to see how it might work for her to marry Tybalt, since she can't use the Shadow Roads without him and he can't really live away from his Court, as King. Would he prepare Raj for the throne and abdicate? Would it be a condition for him to abdicate before even thinking about children? I can't see Toby wanting any child of hers to be in the bloody line of Cait Sidhe succession, even if she wanted any more kids given all the prophetic stuff she's heard about her own line...

Anything from this lot would be very welcome. Thanks :)

Request #2
Fandom: Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day (2008)
Character(s): Delysia LaFosse, Guinevere Pettigrew

Prompt(s):

In canon, both film and book, Guinevere openly admires Delysia (just out of the bath, in the film), and tells her how lovely she is. I'd rather like to see what might happen if one thing leads to another from that scene onwards, and Delysia, coquette that she is, decides to introduce Guinevere to her world in another way. At which point, Guinevere discovers that Delysia's inclinations are not only toward men - and surprisingly enough, nor are her own. Has she gone so many years of her life never realising how much of the world had lain closed to her? She never saw any of this in all those films...

(And it might not be all that out-of-character either, despite the original author probably having never thought about it - lesbianism was never criminalised in 20th-century Britain so far as I'm aware, despite the fact that male homosexuality effectively was, due to the "sodomy" law.)</em>

Request #3
Fandom: Venetia - Georgette Heyer
Character(s): Jasper Damerel, Venetia Lanyon

Prompt(s):

I'd love to see, post-book, the subsequent events surrounding Venetia's wedding to Damerel, and perhaps how her mama (Aurelia) might take the actual event- would she be there? Would any of Venetia's friends and remaining family agree to attend, or perhaps deliberately stay away? Who would give Venetia away (if anyone)? I'm really interested in the details on this - as I say, I'd love to see it. This is a similar request to one I made last year, but modified somewhat and with only two requested characters rather than three - more open-ended. Do as you please, dear writer! :)

Request #4
Fandom: Rivers of London - Ben Aaronovitch
Character(s): Peter Grant, Thomas Nightingale

Prompt(s):

Peter/Nightingale is one of those rare male slash 'ships for me outside of Middle-Earth. I'd love to see a romantic relationship between the two of them develop organically, without feeling especially awkward or stilted; I've seen that done, but not in the context of my other plotty prompts below, and that I'd love. I enjoy Peter's constant cultural references, but I'd be delighted to hear from Nightingale's point of view as well, since that doesn't happen in the books, for obvious reasons.

Whether you want to write m/m or not, I'd be really happy to get something dealing with Nightingale's life before the series began, or that part of it Peter doesn't see, and/or perhaps Peter's impact on Nightingale's life from the latter's POV. I would love to see Peter introduced to some part of Nightingale's life he hasn't previously had any idea about - by way of casefic or any other common crime or fantasy trope you like, if you feel like it. I'd prefer if you didn't kill off either Peter or Thomas, though, at least not permanently, and I do tend to prefer lighter or light-ending angst fic at this time of year.

Explicit is okay, if you choose to go that direction.

Please note that I am fully up to date with the series so far, including the graphic novels. Thanks :)

Request #5
Fandom: Young Wizards - Diane Duane
Character(s): Dairine Callahan, Carmela Rodriguez

Prompt(s):

What would I most like to get for this fandom? Carmela and Dairine being awesome young women - please! I'd prefer them to be in a relationship with each other, as that's one of my absolute favourite rarepairs, but if you're not interested in writing femmeslash I'd still love to just see them being their usual awesome, but together, with a focus on the two of them, at whatever age. I like most of the other characters, so I don't mind who else you include, I'll still be really happy with it. :)

Please note that as of the time of writing (10 October) I have not yet had the opportunity to read 'Games Wizards Play' - but I will do my very best to get to and through it before reveals, just in case!

___

If you'd like to investigate my interests further, or you're looking for something that might help with a yuleswap, you can usually find me in the IRC #yuletide chat between sign-ups and author reveals, though don't rely on "normal hours" for someone in BST/GMT, as I don't keep them! ;) If I'm not on IRC and you want to contact me directly about something, all my contact methods are listed on my personal domain, unfaithful-mirror.net. You can find my past and present fannish activities via AO3 joyunending.net, FF.net and/or Tragic Adoration. I also use GoodReads, LibraryThing, Backloggery, Twitter, Facebook and BookMooch on a regular basis. Oh, by the way - if a crossover or fusion happens to strike you for one of my prompts, I will be perfectly happy with that, provided it's crossed with a fandom I know and love - you can find those in my joined fanlistings section at T.A., or in the lists of favourite fanfiction on AO3 or FF.net, or the fandoms for which I've written.

Thank you for reading my letter, and I hope you have a wonderful Yuletide this year! ♥

Sincerely,
Tria

Yuletide 2012 Recs x 10

trialia — Tue, 01 Jan 2013 13:13:17 GMT

Happy New Year to all whose new year it is!

I read recs in fandoms I know, and after that go alphabetically by fandom. So far, I'm only as far as the start of D, but I decided I should do a post of the recs I've collected so far, quickly before author reveal takes place. I'll follow it up after that with some more.

I know some of these stories have already been rec'd on yuletide, but I'm posting this to my journal too.

---

AO3 Tags

The Bar at the End of Fandom (3911 words)
Rating: Mature
Summary: PWP walks into a bar...

Pure crack - delightfully so! The reader has to be very genre-savvy for fandom to get all the in-jokes, but it's absolutely worth it. I spent most of this story smirking in recognition and amusement. Don't have a drink while you read this, just in case.

---

Charlotte Sometimes - Penelope Farmer

And a Time for Every Purpose (2585 words)
Rating: General
Character(s): Charlotte Mary Makepeace, Clare Moby, Emily Moby, Marjorie "Bunty", Elizabeth
Relationship(s): Clare Moby/Elizabeth
Summary: One last letter from Clare reveals some surprising information. (Warning for mention but not depiction of canon major character death.)

First let me say that anyone who hasn't read the book before they read this, should do that first, otherwise you'll be spoiled completely, and I don't recommend that, as it takes away a large part of the impact of the book's second half.

This story was my gift, and it is beautiful. I asked to hear Clare's side of the story, and here it's done brilliantly. Clare's voice in her letter comes through clearly; it's perfect, with the extra touch of something unexpected. Seeing Clare as a less passive being than how we saw her from Charlotte's perspective is really wonderful.

---

Discworld - Terry Pratchett

A Trip To Lancre (2613 words)
Rating: General
Character(s): Tiffany Aching, Magrat Garlick, Gytha Ogg, Sybil Ramkin, Verence II, Sam Vimes, Young Sam Vimes, Esme Weatherwax, Esmerelda Margaret Note Spelling of Lancre
Relationship(s): Sybil Ramkin/Sam Vimes
Summary: The Patrician is invited to attend the coming of age ceremony for the princess of Lancre. He sends Sam Vimes instead.

Great piece on Vimes' visit to Lancre with his family, and the people he meets there, some of whom he's met before. It's very interesting to see some of the characters from Vimes' perspective instead of others, as a change, and some of the character voices in this story are really good.

First and Foremost (2988 words)
Rating: General
Character(s): Sacharissa Cripslock, Sally von Humpeding, Cheery Littlebottom, Angua von Uberwald
Relationship(s): Carrot Ironfoundersson/Angua von Uberwald
Summary: From Angua's office, with the door cracked, being a captain wasn't all that different from being a sergeant.

Lovely piece focusing on the characters' roles in their society, and how people are often seen as one thing first above all others - like Angua, who is a werewolf, a woman and an officer of the Watch all at once. And how, perhaps, they shouldn't be.

Going It Alone (1983 words)
Rating: General
Character(s): Esme Weatherwax, Gytha Ogg, Mustrum Ridcully
Relationship(s): Mustrum Ridcully/Esme Weatherwax
Summary: Some walked the path to a witch's door with fearful desperation; some walked it with false bravado, and some with foolish daydreams. Esme walked it with a tent, and set it up on the lawn.

I just love this fic. And there's so much love for Esme Weatherwax in this story, at all ages. It's gorgeous. Whoever wrote it managed to get right inside her head in my own headcanon, and that takes some doing...

On Being Female (1141 words)
Rating: General
Character(s): Carrot Ironfoundersson, Sam Vimes
Summary: It began, as did so many bewilderments small and large, with a declaration by Captain Carrot.

The story here is quite short and could do with expansion on the themes - which in themselves are very interesting ideas - but I'm rec'ing this primarily because the author has just perfect voices for both Carrot and Vimes. Always worth reading when that happens.

Some Time Before (7080 words)
Rating: Teen
Character(s): Adora Belle Dearheart, Moist von Lipwig, Sybil Ramkin, Sam Vimes
Relationship(s): Adora Belle Dearheart/Moist von Lipwig, Sybil Ramkin/Sam Vimes
Summary: The thing about being young is that it happens to most everyone.

Again, excellent character voices, and some really sweet insights into the childhood and later youth of all the aforementioned characters, as well as some of the adulthood of all of them that we see in canon.

Soul Cake (2247 words)
Rating: General
Character(s): Carrot Ironfoundersson, Cheery Littlebottom, Angua von Uberwald, Sam Vimes
Relationship(s): Carrot Ironfoundersson/Angua von Uberwald
Summary: The time Carrot went to visit his family and missed the end of the world. A dwarf, a wolf and a soul cake duck.

Not really about the end of the world so much as about what Carrot and Angua did while it was supposed to be happening, and why it was meant to happen. Angua's worries on meeting Carrot's family and Carrot's feelings about rain and royalty are all here, excellently portrayed in style, minus the footnotes.

---

Final Fantasy VI

In the Nuclear Season (14575 words)
Rating: Teen
Character(s): Terra Branford, Locke Cole, Duane, Katarin
Relationship(s): Terra Branford/Locke Cole
Summary: Terra in an uncharted world.

Beautiful, lengthy World of Ruin piece from Terra's point-of-view. I love how this story manages to get inside her head so well, which is not an easy thing to do for someone not quite human, and shows how she learns about humanity and her own take on it after their sort-of-apocalypse.

---

Rivers of London - Ben Aaronovitch

Ghosts of Ettersberg
Rating: Mature
Character(s): Peter Grant, Thomas Nightingale
Relationship(s): Thomas Nightingale/Original Male Character
Summary: There's more than one kind of ghost, and more than one kind of absence.

A dark, retrospective story looking back on the Holocaust and World War II. Very well drawn and voiced, and gives a good look at Nightingale with a touch of slash in a way that doesn't feel tacked-on like it sometimes might in a fandom of this sort.

This one can be read and understood just fine even if you've only read Rivers of London so far (I'm part way through Moon Over Soho myself).

Yuletide Treasure 2012

trialia — Thu, 27 Dec 2012 20:16:53 GMT

Happy holidays to you all. I hope everyone had a good one, whatever you celebrate?

As always at this time of year, I participate in the Yuletide Treasure challenge, commonly known as just 'Yuletide', which is a fanfiction exchange for very rare and/or very small fandoms - the usual qualification being that they have less than 200 works of fanfiction posted across most of the fanfiction archives and communities - for those of you unfamiliar with it!

This post is public, so for the people who will see this who don't have access:

This year, I requested Charlotte Sometimes (Penelope Farmer), Chalet School (Elinor M. Brent-Dyer), Lost Odyssey and Toby Daye (Seanan McGuire). I offered a LOT of fandoms for writing this time.

I ended up writing one gift (my assignment) and receiving one - on my part, mainly due to a combination of ill health and offline life being hectic. (I'm never going to a convention in mid-December again!)

The gift I received was for Charlotte Sometimes; it's an absolutely beautiful story, and brilliantly in character. Here it is - but if you've not finished the book, I suggest you do that first, or you'll be irrevocably spoiled for a major plot point. Summary is redacted for that reason.

And a Time for Every Purpose (2585 words)
Fandom: Charlotte Sometimes - Penelope Farmer
Rating: G/K
Character(s) & Relationship(s): Clare Moby/Elizabeth; Charlotte Mary Makepeace, Clare Moby, Emily Moby, Marjorie "Bunty", Elizabeth

Further Yuletide questions, ganked from htbthomas on Tumblr:

1) How are your fics doing? I just wrote one, as previously mentioned. It's not doing very well, but it is the only story in a fandom that is quite small, and especially unlikely to be read as it's a post-canon piece and most people in the fandom haven't experienced (note my evasiveness about the medium ;)) the final part of that canon, so won't read it. Right now, 4 comments plus my 4 replies (anonymous) to those, 5 kudos and 59 hits (mostly obtained yesterday, I think). No recs that I've yet seen.

2) How do you attack the archive? Generally, I go alphabetically by fandom, as I read a LOT of fandoms in Yuletide regularly (over 100). I'll read the occasional rec first though, if I see something rec'd in a fandom I like.

3) Got recs? Not yet, but I *will*... I'm keeping a text file with stories I want to rec, and depending on how quickly I go through what I want to read - I'm putting them all on my Kobo to read there - I may make several smaller rec posts or one big one. We'll see. :) But there'll definitely be a rec post.

Also tangentially related, since we're talking about fic, I also have a gorgeous holiday presentfic from leiascully :D It's part of the Doctor Who RPF, Alex Kingston/Matt Smith series she's been writing (all of which she has written for me, and the first was written for Xmas & Yule last year. I love that she's continuing with it :D). So if you've not read the previous 5, you should read those first as their conversation will make more sense; here's the link to the series: A Thousand and One Nights.

through the years, we'll be together (3187 words) by lovelythings/leiascully
Rating: M/R
Relationship(s) & Character(s): Alex Kingston/Matt Smith; Alex Kingston, Matt Smith, Karen Gillan, Arthur Darvill, Jenna-Louise Coleman
Summary: Alex gets a not-quite-Christmas surprise.

Now, can any of you guess what fandom I wrote this year? ;) I'll give you one little hint - it's a fandom I've not written in before, as often seems to happen to me for Yuletide. :)

Ficlet: Glance and Gesture (Doctor Who: River/11; T)

trialia — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 21:55:40 GMT

Title: Glance and Gesture
Author: Trialia
Fandom: Doctor Who (2005)
Rating: Teen
Character(s)/Pairing(s): River Song/Eleventh Doctor
Word Count: 200
Notes: Mild bloodplay; no specific spoilers; title is courtesy of Rainer Maria Rilke, again. Written for dw100 prompt 386, "slash", but wound up being twice the length.
Summary: They enjoy being threatened; they like to run. Sometimes they even enjoy getting hurt...

+

He can feel the adrenaline rush humming through his veins. The spark of huon energy as the TARDIS enters the vortex only adds to it. River's gentle with the controls, and the Doctor admires her touch as he leans against the wall, fighting for breath. He'd never tell her, but she really does fly the TARDIS better than he can.

He smiles, and winces as the movement sends pain through his face. A little close to the bone this time, metaphorically speaking.

He walks over to River, and she steps down to meet him, lifting a hand to his chin.

"Oh, sweetie," she murmurs, "I think we need to get this fixed." She runs her hand lightly down his cheek and he hisses as she draws back bloodstained fingers.

He can't describe his reaction when she slips a finger in her mouth. He almost wants to whimper, but he won't let her see that. It's part of the never-ending game between them, after all.

She meant him to feel that way, though: he realises that as she pulls his face down to hers and licks along the thin line where flying glass slashed his skin.

This time he does whimper.

-fin

Happy holidays :)

trialia — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 16:42:07 GMT

Again, to the lot of you, and today especially to those of you who celebrate Christmas, happy holidays. I'm sorry I didn't post yesterday - did an all-night beta session in #yuletide so I crashed and slept for a solid 24 hours.

Christmas Day was quiet and happy for me and Gem; she had a whole tin of proper tuna for a present and loved it, and thanks to everyone who sent me something this year - I love them all!

I won't be here for a few days from tomorrow, so making a quick post today. I'll be reading more yuletide stories when I get back from Gnosall, and will make a proper recs post then. In the meantime, here are the stories that were written for me, which are ALL lovely and precious! I have more stories this year than I have ever had — my proper Yuletide gift, a full-length treat and two Madness fics as well as a lovely short from sleepismyfriend! :D I wrote three of my own for Yuletide - two Madness stories and one full-length, all for my assigned recipient, so I hope ze likes the shorts when ze reads them - looks like ze already loves the main gift, and I am SO pleased about that, because it's my longest story yet!

Discovery by Anonymous (1)
Fandom: Circle of Magic - Tamora Pierce
Rating: General Audiences
Relationships: Dedicate Lark/Dedicate Rosethorn, Dedicate Rosethorn/Dedicate Crane
Summary: "Rosethorn..." She trailed off. When she spoke again, her voice was low and raw with need. "Stay here."

Tumbler by Anonymous (1) (this is an outtake from "Discovery")
Fandom: Circle of Magic - Tamora Pierce
Rating: General Audiences
Relationships: Yazmín Hebet/Dedicate Lark
Summary: When Lark was eighteen, she ran away to join the circus.

The Bears Ain't Got Nothing on This by Anonymous (2)
Fandom: Fandom RPF (#yuletide)
Rating: General Audiences
Relationships: Panic/Flail
Summary: They see each other frequently, but nothing compares...

In a year we all will be together, if the Fates allow by ~~Anonymous~~ lovelythings (anonymity erased by adding it to her series, lol)
Fandom: Doctor Who RPF
Rating: General Audiences
Relationships: Alex Kingston/Matt Smith
Summary: Alex doesn't expect her mobile to suddenly buzz in her pocket.

The Phone Call by sleepismyfriend
Fandom: Doctor Who (2005)
Rating: Teen
Relationships: Eleventh Doctor/River Song
Summary: While spending time with River, the Doctor receives a phone call he's determined to fix.

I love you guys all so much, you know that? I really do. *snuggles her kitteh*

And yes, I'm crossposting this even though I still hate LJ, because I know some of you just won't leave, and I'm being nice today. But just take this: that new comments page made one of my friends who has never had a migraine in her life have one and throw up, and that's even worse than doing it to those of us who expect them.

A short post!

trialia — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 04:00:55 GMT

I have the flu. Stupid body. Two years out of the last three I am in bed over the holiday!

But! I finished my yuletide fic, am happy with it and have surpassed my greatest ever fic word count!

And my fandom_stocking is up :) - fandom_stocking here.

Oh, and... what else... I have way too much to do considering how sick I feel. Dammit. Um. There was something else... but what? Apart from to wish you all a blessed Solstice for yesterday... :)

I might post a bit more tomorrow, if I remember what I wanted to say.

Oh, right. I can't comment on LJ at the moment at all. Not only do the new comment forms give me instant migraine, I actually can't submit a comment at all. Maddening. I hate them. And on that note, please won't more of you migrate over to DW? I miss you and if I can't comment on your journals anymore, or read the comments, staying on LJ is becoming increasingly difficult. Invite codes are turned off and account creation is open 'til the end of the year - so please? *hugs you all*

Oh, and ow. Dislocated my wrist two hours ago typing in #yuletide chat too hard, and I'm feeling it again now. G'night!

Drabble: Jackson Pollock (Doctor Who (2005); River, Rory, Amy & the Doctor; K)

trialia — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 15:14:17 GMT

Title: Jackson Pollock
Author: Trialia
Fandom: Doctor Who (2005)
Rating: K
Word Count: 100
Character(s)/Pairing(s): River, Amy, Rory, the Doctor (Eleventh)
Beta: sabaceanbabe
Spoilers/Warnings: N/A
Summary: For dw100 prompt 377, paint.

River knows whose idea it was to play this game. It had to come from him.

She's standing in the doorway of a half-empty room, three people in front of her at different points in the space. The Doctor's half-hidden behind an old settee, Rory is on the far side of the room, a paint can in his hands, and Amy stands near the door, her body now turned towards River's.

They're all staring. She's not sure whether to scream or to laugh at the looks on their faces. She lifts a hand.

"Why is there paint in my hair?"

-fin (for now)

Drabble: Star to Guide (Doctor Who (2005): River Song, the Doctor; K)

trialia — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 23:14:19 GMT

Title: Star to Guide
Author: Trialia
Fandom: Doctor Who (2005)
Word Count: 100
Rating: K
Character(s)/Pairing(s): River Song, the Doctor
Spoilers: 6.08 Let's Kill Hitler
Summary: She always knows where he is.
Notes: For dw100 prompt 376, compass.

She always knows where he is, now.

She sits at her desk and works through paperwork that tells her where he's been, accounts from people who have met him, details of the worlds he's changed, and does not go to him.

She doesn't need to follow him, yet. She will always know where to find him, so long as her lives run beneath his skin.

They're part of each other, now. River can't change that. After all that's happened, she can find no reason why she would.

He is her pole star, her guiding light, and she will be his.

-fin

Fic: Hide The Heart That Bleeds (Doctor Who (2005): River Song/Eleventh Doctor; T)

trialia — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 03:26:20 GMT

Title: Hide The Heart That Bleeds
Author: Trialia
Fandom: Doctor Who (2005)
Rating: T
Word Count: ~330
Character(s)/Pairing(s): River Song/Eleventh Doctor
Beta: dqbunny
Spoilers: 6x13 The Wedding of River Song
Summary: She can't remember everything, but she remembers this. She's got the proof to show for it.
Notes: Title courtesy of Countee Cullen's poetry.

River Song feels sore all over.

She knows it's mainly psychological - she surrendered herself, after all - but she feels emotionally battered, and the tension is translating itself into pain. She could probably ease it by thinking about it, or by lying down on the mattress they've provided her, but somehow she doesn't want to. She's not sure if she thinks she deserves it, or if she wants to keep it that way to keep her memories alive.

Some things are a very good trigger for recall, after all.

She stares down at her hands and lifts them, slipping the baggy fabric of her graduation gown up towards her elbows. She has been wearing it for days. Months, perhaps. She can't quite remember.

Just above her left wrist, the skin is bruised faintly green and yellow in a clear pattern; healing, but damaged nonetheless. She is only part Time Lord. She turns her hand, following the marks around her arm in their almost perfect circle.

She can remember that. Why she can remember that, when so much of the alternate timeline has been lost to her - even as a time traveller - she doesn't know, but she holds to it.

She recalls his painful, vicelike grip on her wrist even more clearly than she does her own wedding.

There's something wrong about that.

Something wrong about her wedding, too. She's still unsure if it qualifies as valid, or if the Doctor will treat it as such. Unsure if she will, since he didn't ask her, but she does love him. Perhaps if he comes back - when he comes back - she can persuade him to give it another try.

She's glad to remember the one fact she can never tell her jailers: he's alive.

She rubs the marks on her wrist with her other hand, and decides to lie down. May as well rest, since she's going to have to wait.

She'll have to get used to waiting.

-fin

Fic: Through Ash & Ember (Doctor Who (2005); River/Eleven; T)

trialia — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 17:36:29 GMT

Title: Through Ash and Ember
Author: Trialia
Fandom: Doctor Who (2005)
Rating: T
Word Count: 443
Character(s)/Pairing(s): River Song/Eleventh Doctor
Beta: coffeesuperhero
Warning(s): Main character death.
Spoilers: 6x13 The Wedding of River Song
Summary: They live out their lives in a disintegrating world, loving but never touching.
Notes: Title courtesy of seanan_mcguire (Archaeology of Tragedy, ironically enough). Fic from a prompt by winninghearts, for the spoiler_song Hell in Heels ficathon.

He never knew someone could love him enough to sacrifice the universe for him.

It's spreading.

She's desperate to keep him alive. She doesn't care if the whole world falls apart around them, because that's what would happen for her anyway, if she killed him.

Don't touch me.

He's tried to change her mind. He can't. He can't kill himself, because that won't fix this.

River, please.

She loves him more than anything. More than her own life, which is disintegrating with the universe, but her love is still here. Still alive.

So close and so far away.

He can only beg her to do what she must. He's afraid to die, but he doesn't know any other way. He's beginning to wonder if the damage is already done.

I can't let you die.

She can't even touch him. It's all she can stand to be in the same room with him and keep her hands to herself all that time, but she can't love him any less, and she can't face his death either. There has to be a way.

River, please.

He's got to work this out. There must be some other way to right this, to make the fixed point happen and the world come back together without destroying her.

Help me.

She knows she's being selfish, but she'd rather die herself than lose him, and in this broken world even that wouldn't fix anything.

Marry me.

He can't touch her, but he will still ask everything of her. She won't refuse him anything - except for his death.

I'm scared.

She'll find a way out of this that doesn't involve killing him. Someone in the universe must know something. She'll go to the end of the universe and back if it means she can find a way to keep him alive. Out of the universe completely if she has to. Loath though she is to leave him.

Me, too.

He never knew loving without losing someone could hurt so much.

Let me go.

She doesn't know that her future has already happened. That she's destined to be both his wife and his killer. She hasn't seen it, but he has.

I can't.

He has no more lies left. He can't let her wreck time for him. He's not worth that. She will live on, after; he's seen it.

River, you'll see me again. This won't be over for you. Please.

She has tears in her eyes, ready to spill over. She's never looked more beautiful.

My love...

He marries her.

I love you.

She kills him.

I love you.

Rule one.

-fin

Fic: Face to Face With the Sky (Doctor Who (2005); Doctor/River, Amy/Rory; T)

trialia — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 05:50:42 GMT

Title: Face to Face With the Sky
Author: Trialia
Fandom: Doctor Who (2005)
Rating: T
Word Count: 1766
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Amy Pond/Rory Williams, the Doctor/River Song
Warning(s): Main character death (times two, both offstage).
Spoilers: 4x09 Forest of the Dead, 5x12-5x13 The Pandorica Opens/The Big Bang, 6x07 A Good Man Goes To War, 6x08 Let's Kill Hitler, 6x13 The Wedding of River Song.
Beta: dqbunny
Summary: For the spoiler_song Hell in Heels ficathon, prompt Ponds + Doctor, Amy and Rory Pond's last request [edited for spoilers], from a_celeste.
Notes: Another Rilke title.

He leaves Amy sleeping. He's never seen her look so pale, her naturally milk-fair skin with a pallor that looks almost grey against the streaked red-and-silver of her hair, more dark than bright with age, but still thick where it lies against her cheeks and trails down over her shoulders.

He sits down with Rory in the kitchen, perching on the edge of a metal chair so as to be prepared if River calls for him; he's left her leaning over her mother with tears in her eyes and is loath to abandon her at a time like this, but she asked for a few minutes alone with Amy. Nonetheless, he's ready if she calls.

Rory's face is lined with age, puffy and tired; he clearly hasn't had much sleep in the last couple of weeks, and who would, with the love of their life so close to death, and love of his life means more than most to Rory the Roman, the Last Centurion, the boy who waited two thousand years to protect the woman he loves, and now is losing to an illness even the Doctor can't fix. He opens his mouth to speak, and he clearly can't get the words out, shutting his lips against them. The Doctor wonders what he was about to say, and if it matters. It probably does at a time like this.

“Cup of tea?” the Doctor asks, hoping it'll help Rory to have something to do. He's not about to say it, but he hopes it might help him too, the lump in his throat is nearly choking him. Amelia Pond. He's missed her, and he'll miss her even more before long.

“Right, yeah,” Rory says, looking slightly dazed, and starts to get up and move stiffly towards the counter and the kettle. The Doctor changes his mind quickly and gets up, putting one hand on Rory's shoulder to stop him.

“I'll do it,” he says, and does.

“Doctor,” Rory begins again when they're both sitting down, the heat of a mug warming the Doctor's hands while Rory's is placed on the counter beside him where he can't drop it – his hands are visibly shaking now. This time he seems able to go on, a bit.

“Amy, when she was awake, she, she asked – Doctor, I know you know when River will die – has died,” he manages.

It must be hard to say when his daughter is just a couple of rooms away, healthy and youthful and clearly not about to die from anything at this end of time. The Doctor bites his lip.

“Rory Pond,” he says gently, scratching his cheek, “tell me. Anything – anything I can do to help, you know I will. I promise.”

“Well,” his father-in-law says quietly (and it's still never not weird to think, Rory and Amy for in-laws and still so much younger than himself even though they've looked their age for a while now, and that's not the point), “we were hoping that – well, when - if anything – happens – when it, you could – would you bury us with River? The two of us?” Rory's eyes are wet with tears and still startlingly blue, despite the rings of developing cataract, as he raises them to the Doctor's face.

He wasn't expecting that. He almost says “Of course,” but catches himself, knowing he can't. He knows where River died – has died, will die, physically – but he never did bury her; there was nothing left to bury, and he never did figure out why that was. Consumed by the power she'd channelled, he always assumed. How to explain this? He decides quickly on candour. Rory deserves nothing less about his daughter. He can faintly hear his beautiful wife singing an old lullaby to her slowly dying mother, over in the downstairs bedroom. Dying and he can do nothing about it but let it happen. Oh, Amy. Amelia Pond. The girl who got tired of waiting.

He takes a deep breath.

“Well, you see, the thing is... um, I, well, I never buried River,” he confesses, almost blurting out the last part, eyes everywhere but on the Roman's face. “She – we were – will be – in the Library when she died – dies, I mean. Well, on it – the planet.” He's speaking very softly now, knowing that he can't let her hear any of this.

“What do you mean?” Rory frowns, face all tensed up like he might start crying again, and he wouldn't blame him. He feels rather close to it himself. “You didn't bury her? Tell me you didn't just leave her!”

His own mouth is twisting in remembered pain, now; the pain of that right hook of River's and the worse pain of watching her knowingly sacrifice herself to save them all, so much worse now that he knows her. His fingers tighten on the mug in his hands.

“Not exactly,” he says. “She – well, her body died. And she couldn't regenerate, of course – not because of what she did for me in Berlin, nobody could have. She knocked me out, handcuffed me to make sure I wouldn't try to do it in her place. I didn't even know she was part Time Lord then, first day I ever met her.” He hasn't talked about this to anyone in years – decades, and never in so much detail.

Rory stifles a small sob and takes a gulp of his tea, probably thinking about how brave his beautiful daughter was – always is, always will be, even to the last. So brave.

“But why couldn't you bury her?”

“Well, she's dead and she isn't,” he finally admits, pushing his hair back with one hand and swigging his tea from the other, hoping it'll help with that lump in his throat that feels like it's rising higher just talking about this. “I saved her, her consciousness, into the computer mainframe there, with all the stories ever written to live through, to keep her company. Her body was – it's gone, though.” He takes another deep breath. “Of course, I know now that she'd hate it, but I didn't know her at all back then. I'd never met her before – I couldn't have guessed.”

He can feel the tears trickle down his nose, now; he'd managed to hold them back, to be strong for River while they were with Amy, but now, thinking about her, he breaks. He can feel Rory staring at him as he stares down at the mug in his hand.

“There's got to be a way to get her out of there.” Rory gets to his feet, and the Doctor realises he's said that aloud. He sighs. “I'll figure it out someday.” He gets up, and hugs Rory, who's crying again, with an arm wrapped tight around his back, and they soak each other's shoulders for a minute. They're allowed, dammit. Their girls are—

“Can you do that for Amy?” Rory asks, eventually lifting his head.

“I can try,” he says, doubtful. Is there enough left of Amelia Pond in that body to make it worth it? “There're still – the place was infested with Vashta Nerada when we were there. It's why we had to do... what she did. But they've probably starved to death by now. It might be safe to go back.” He's already built the neural relay into his sonic screwdriver, in preparation for River. And River –

“She'll be with River,” Rory says, as if he'd been able to read what the Doctor was thinking. “Even if it's not our River, not our River now, she'll be there – right?”

The Doctor sighs sadly, sitting back down in the chair and drinking what's left of his tea. “Yeah. Yeah, she'll be there.” Unless I can figure out a way of getting her out, he doesn't say.

“Thank you, Doctor,” Rory says, simply. He doesn't ask about being saved himself, or about the possibility of getting Amy out if he figures out how to get River out, or anything like that. He doesn't need to ask. But if he can do that for them, he will. The Pond girls – his girls – and Rory the Roman.

“Anytime,” he says, sincerely.

-

He has to wait for Amy to wake up, to agree to it, and eventually she does. She's frail and weak beneath her TARDIS-blue duvet, but she still has enough of her mind to consent. He hates that he's had to ask Rory to get River to leave the room while he talks to Amy – he's making River tea, now, his hands are a bit less wobbly than they were half an hour ago – while her mother is awake, because it's not going to be for all that long, but he doesn't dare tell her anything about this.

Amy is surprisingly calm about it.

“I'll be with River, right?” she asks as he brushes a tendril of her hair out of her eyes with a gentle hand. “Can you do it for Rory too?”

“Of course,” he says. Of course he would. Never one without the other, those two, and to have both her parents with her would be so much less boring for River – even if it's only for long enough for him to figure out a way to really save them all, to get them new bodies, and it may not work for Amy and Rory, being, after all, only human – but he can always leave a copy of River in there to keep with them, after. Or get himself uploaded, if he finds anyone he trusts enough to do that when he's supposed to be already dead.

Whatever happens, he doesn't want to be without her. He understands that about Amy and Rory now, more than he ever did when they first married. He knows what it's like to have a love you wouldn't give up for anything. He never thought he would.

“Thank you,” Amy whispers, her voice showing her age, creaking a bit like old hinges.

River knocks lightly on the bedroom door, steps back into the room with him, and he takes her hand in his. He never wants to let her go, and he knows someday he'll have to. But not today.

Not today.

~fin

God Complex

trialia — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 09:51:30 GMT

Good episode.

I knew before the minotaur said it that he was talking about the Doctor. Such a sad happy ending...

But awww on the guilt presents thing. And I do love Rory. And Eleven's sadface!

Oh Amy. That's the point...

I love what she says. "If you bump into my daughter, tell her to visit her old mum sometime." Oh, River... *sigh* And the laughing tears. And him leaving before Rory came out...

So does this mean we're getting a new (or semi-new) companion? PLEASE tell me it'll be River!

(Never ever changing my tag!)

Fic: this almost fatal radiance (Doctor Who (2005): River Song, 11th Doctor; T+)

trialia — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 11:28:56 GMT

Title: this almost fatal radiance
Author: Trialia
Fandom: Doctor Who (2005)
Rating: T+
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Melody Pond, River Song, the Doctor
Word count: ~900
Beta: aliannesecunda
Spoilers: A Good Man Goes To War, Let's Kill Hitler
Notes: Title from Rainer Maria Rilke's Early Apollo; thanks to kikibug13 for hashing one out with me.
Summary: He doesn't know how to save her, but he needs to now, more than ever.

Melody Pond's gaze scares him, somehow, in a way River Song's never has — well, only once, and never since that first time he met her, when she knew all about him and obviously loved what she knew and confused him so, so much.

But Melody... She's River, but she's not River yet. If he has anything to say about it she will be – but how can she become his River from this...person?

He doesn't really know Melody, despite having met her — albeit so very briefly and not really at all, when you think about it — as a baby, but she calls herself a psychopath, and that worries him: that she can say that so casually, and appear to believe it. It more than worries him that she behaves to match: it kills him.

He doesn't know how to save her, not really, and that is the one thing he never expected not to know, and the worst thing, because it matters, right there and then: figuring out how to save her may be all he can do to save himself.

He's not sure he deserves to be saved, but he surely doesn't deserve to die, does he? But he wonders about that, too, because what they did to her was his fault for not saving her in time, and maybe he does deserve to die, but not here, not yet, there's just too much to do!

It hits him, and he struggles against the growing paralysis of his dying body (regeneration blocked, and how did she do that, or even know how to do that?) to set in motion the chain of events that might, just might, fix this. A little bit. Fix her more than a little bit. He can't bear to see her like that. He can see his River in the way she moves, sometimes, but the way she talks and behaves is a River he doesn't know — a Melody.

He gasps through the whole twenty minutes it takes him to go elsewhere, return, reclaim, return, keep dying in front of the woman he will love who doesn't love him and keep trying to save the Ponds — all three of them, damn it. Getting Amy and Rory safe doesn't mean River is, not yet.

He whispers something to Melody that may help him, may help her, may work if what he did had any effect on this timeline. He can only hope it will work, and if they're his last words, at least he knows he broke rule one in telling her (he's not lying, this time).

He can't whisper any more than that, can't give her any more knowledge than what he's given her — his face has now gone numb, and his body is quickly following. But what he's given her is everything he can, everything he has left.

He almost doesn't care if he dies, so long as he can save her, save and redeem Melody for Rory and Amy and herself, even if she's never his River, if this works it won't matter that he dies here and...

He loses the words in his head next — then he starts to lose what's left of whatever hasn't gone yet.

He can't feel anything in his body through the cold numbness of the Judas tree's encroaching paralysis; he can't see a thing through the black... His frozen lungs can no longer gasp for air, but his hearing is the last thing to go, darkness coming down around his ears like a velvet shroud.

. . .

. . .

It's the first thing to come back, her whispering and the golden hue of her mind against his, the warmth, she's doing... what is she doing?... he whispers River's name in disbelief, knowing what she's doing, as his face regains feeling, his mind a vague grasp on the world... and her lips bring the life back to his, as he swallows the air she's breathing into his mouth and feels gold everywhere.

The numbness becomes pain but oh, the good kind (if there's ever a good kind of pain), and suddenly he knows her again, he knows who the woman kneeling over him is, and it's really River there above him, and the look in her eyes says that what he did to fix things worked, but what she's done, he never expected this, but somehow... and now he knows, he knows that she'd never have survived the Library anyway because of this... and he can't tell her that—

Her body goes limp against him, her eyes falling shut.

She's lighter than he'd expected, even as a dead weight, though he doesn't like thinking that phrase. He can feel her breathing, so he doesn't worry about her being dead – and after what she's done, it's no wonder she's passed out; he wasn't sure that could happen, but she has — his mouth won't form words the way he wants yet, so he uses the feeling he's regained to wrap his arms around her waist, tip his head over to press against hers, and hope she knows, in her unconscious state, that he's grateful she's there. That what he's done in the little time he had worked enough.

Oh, River. Melody. River. Who will you be now?

I can't wait to find out.

~fin

Fic: The Day of My Delight (Doctor Who (2005); River Song/The Doctor (Eleven/Twelve); T)

trialia — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 15:49:32 GMT

Title: The Day of My Delight
Fandom: Doctor Who (2005)
Rating: T
Word count: 375
Character(s)/Pairing(s): The Doctor (Eleven/Twelve)/River Song
Beta: oparu
Spoilers: Forest of the Dead
Summary: Sometimes, the TARDIS lets him hear River's voice, right on the edge of sleep...

~

Sexy records what happens within her when she thinks it's important, often when her thief doesn't have a clue that she's doing it. He might need or want it in the future, to remember, and she wants to hold onto that for him.

He's dreadfully and painfully grateful for it, years later when River no longer knows who he is. He has lost his beloved wife in most ways, now, but he can still hear her if he asks. See her, even, sometimes. On the very rarest of occasions, he even manages to run into the real River, carelessly crossing her own timestream somewhere, and can spend one more segment of his disjointed life with the truest companion he's ever had and will ever have.

Sometimes – sometimes – the TARDIS lets him hear River's voice from years ago, when he's on the edge of sleep, softly reminding him that no matter what, she will always love him, always did in a way from the first time they met, and wherever she is, will never stop; just as he never plans to stop searching for a way to bring her back to life outside the Library. Life within a construct like that can hardly be life at all for someone as adventurous and eternally vivacious as his lovely River Song.

He visits her there, when he can stand it, but he feels so guilty knowing what that half-life must be like for her that he puts more into trying to get her out, before she wants to do it by dying, than into trying to visit her in it. He's so afraid she will feel that, someday; that she'll ask Charlotte to kill her and he will lose her for the final time not ever knowing when it happens.

For now, Sexy brings back the sounds of the other love of his long, long life, to comfort him and ease him into sleep. He hasn't forgotten that Sexy loved River too, in her way. He's glad, or she might not have recorded so much of their life together.

And somehow, even though it hurts to wake up and know that she's not really there, it still helps, for a while, to feel like she is.

-fin

more river/eleven randomness

trialia — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 00:28:57 GMT

you are
my heart
and I want
to break you
to watch you
fall from grace
like you never were there at all
my imaginary lover.

you are
what you are
and I am
the same thing.

you will not forgive me

as you won't forgive
your own flaws

because I am not
the person you believe
you are
or I am

and anyway
you trust me still
because you do not know me.

(edit for clarity: no, this is not set prior to day of the moon. just in case anyone's wondering about my canon consistency here.)

Just for fun, another WIP meme.

trialia — Sat, 02 Jul 2011 23:09:38 GMT

• Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous.
• Upon request, post a random line or two from any of these you choose.
(Please note, some of these will never be finished! I've removed files that are duplicates in different formats.)

csi-selfevident.txt
Fragmented.html
laurakara.txt
liquid.txt
lostodyssey-pinchhit.txt
matrix-inori3.txt
matrix-zion.txt
McDex.doc
NaNo 2007.doc
rainsmile.txt
river1.txt
river2.doc
The Longbow of Exile.doc
turnabout.doc
unf-csi01.html
unf-csi02.html
unf-csi03.html
unf-csi04.txt
unf-csi-equanimity2.html
unf-csi-fallingsequel.html
unf-csi-sleepingsatellite.txt
unf-ffiv-rydia.html
unf-ffix-memories.txt
unf-matrix-claustrophobia.html
unf-sga01.txt

Ask about as many as you like... I can answer... :)

Fic: River's Dance (Doctor Who: Doctor/River Song; T)

trialia — Sun, 26 Jun 2011 00:22:54 GMT

Title: River's Dance
Author: Trialia
Fandom: Doctor Who (2005)
Character(s)/Pairing(s): The Doctor/River Song
Spoilers: None, really.
Beta: dqbunny
Summary: She fights like she's dancing.
Notes: The title track (from the Firefly soundtrack) shuffled on while I was writing this, and I took it as fate. :)

She fights like she's dancing, all twists and twirls and flying curls.

He shouldn't think it's beautiful - death and more death in a blaze of light, at the hands of the woman he loves more than life itself - but he does. Always has.

He can't help it. He knows he shouldn't like it so much. That he shouldn't want to pull her down on the ground immediately she's finished killing every enemy in the room bar him. It shouldn't make him want to pin her to the harsh metal of the floor and ravish her until neither of them can walk or see straight. She's a killer, after all. He's not supposed to want her. Not after what she's done. But oh, he does. He does.

After all, he's a killer too. It doesn't make a difference that he never meant to be, not really.

Intention and action and reaction are so disparate and so intertwined with them both. He and River are the same, deep down inside. They both know this, and neither of them talk about it.

He watches her back while she's fighting. She leans and dives, ducks and spins like she's a ballerina.

Beautiful.

-fin

Fic: Someday (Doctor Who; River/the Doctor)

trialia — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 03:08:24 GMT

Someday (100 words) by Trialia
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: T+
Warning(s): character death
Beta: xmaidelx
Pairing(s): The Doctor/River Song
Character(s): River Song, the Doctor
Summary: end/beginning; I would have died for you.

24-hour readathon book list

trialia — Sat, 09 Apr 2011 10:34:19 GMT

As I said, I've adapted this to the chronic fatigue, so will get there, but not all the same day, sadly! I'm going six hours in each of four consecutive days - starting today instead of yesterday. Already done an hour and a half today. Here's the booklist to start off with. I'll put a tick next to the ones I'm currently reading and a heavy tick next to those I've finished, as I do, and individual Twitter updates. What I don't get done now will be read later anyway, so, yeah. :) In no particular order, some fiction, some not:

Elinor M. Brent-Dyer - Two Sams at the Chalet School ✔
J.K. Rowling - Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire ✔
J.K. Rowling - Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix ✓
J.K. Rowling - Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
J.K. Rowling - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Reginald Hill - Midnight Fugue ✓
F.W. Farrar - Eric, or Little By Little
Elinor M. Brent-Dyer - Elizabeth the Gallant
Elinor M. Brent-Dyer - The Maids of La Rochelle
Dorita Fairlie Bruce - Nancy to the Rescue
Dorita Fairlie Bruce - The School in the Woods
Diane Duane - The Big Meow
Jean K. Baird - Elizabeth Hobart at Exeter Hall ✓
Christopher Priest - The Prestige
Alison Weir - Eleanor of Aquitaine
Alice B. Emerson - Ruth Fielding at the War Front
Baroness Orczy - The Old Man in the Corner
Brian Wakeling - Please Kill the Neighbours (But Don't Piss Them Off)
Carl Niebuhr - The Tell El Amarna Period
Georgette Heyer - They Found Him Dead
W.J. Burley - Wycliffe and the Pea-Green Boat
W.J. Burley - Wycliffe and the Redhead
Charlaine Harris - Living Dead in Dallas
Naomi Novik - Victory of Eagles

Last updated: 10 April 20:59 BST

: 12/12/1985--20/03/2011

trialia — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 01:39:29 GMT

... ;______________;

trialia — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 14:17:37 GMT

amidala_thrace passed away yesterday afternoon.

I would make a more coherent post, but I can't think about this in any greater depth without nearly choking from crying again - and I haven't stopped that since I found out about half an hour ago.

There's a memorial post for her, but I'm not quite ready to comment on it yet.

I loved her so much. She was one of my favourite people. I still can't believe she's gone.

vaguely frivolous subject matter...?

trialia — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 00:52:31 GMT

I've been tweeting and retweeting for Japan for all I'm worth. This post is not about that. Sorry.

Ooooh, my head aches now. Heh. I should know better than to try headbanging no matter how much I love my metal concerts. Currently very close to being totally out of spoons, curled up in bed with my head well-supported, rarely-applied makeup taken off, in my nightie with my laptop.

So as you're most likely guessing, I got to go to a concert tonight: Epica and Revamp (on support). Epica haven't toured this country outside of festivals before this, so I was all excited - this was my first time ever seeing them, as I can't do festivals. And it was fabulous.

I went with Adam, and we got to go in 15 minutes early, to be sure I could get somewhere to sit for the duration, as there was no way I'd be able to stand for all of it (or even half really). We found a lovely spot with comfy high benches (with supporting backs) right back by the mixing desks, and soon figured out that we would be able to see the stage really well from there, no matter how many tall people decided to push to the front (can you tell I resent it when tall people do that??).

Revamp were an unexpected, and pleasant, surprise. I didn't know who'd be supporting Epica for this, and hadn't heard Revamp before. Their lead singer is the yummy former lead from After Forever (before they broke up, obviously), soprano Floor Jansen. She's the sister of Epica's male lead Mark Jansen, who was also in After Forever for a while, so this was a slightly incestuous lineup! (She says she's a soprano, though from hearing her I was sure she was mezzo, but she told me her classical singing teacher said just soprano, so she must just have a very good range...) Anyway, I enjoyed their set, and I'll definitely be looking up more of their stuff. :)

Epica, as expected, amazing live. Simone Simons is very hot in person, and can headbang and swing her gorgeous long red hair like nothing on earth. The music was - typically from Epica - beautiful, ragged, heavy and light by turns, and really, really fun to listen to (and to sing along with, for me, since Simone is a mezzo-soprano). They didn't play my favourite song, but I didn't expect them to. They did play my second favourite, Cry For The Moon, and songs from all four studio albums, since they hadn't done a solo concert here before.

I was lucky enough to be able to snag both bands' set lists, and Mark autographed the Epica one after chatting with us (Kerry and I, that is - Adam had to leave early to get the last bus home, the drawback of concerts on Sunday nights) for a while. He was really friendly and nice to meet. :D

So, yep, awesome night! I couldn't afford a shirt, but I got a wall-hanging and a fridge magnet, and a keyring for gaia_kiari. Fun times! I'll post the set lists tomorrow, if I can find the spoons. I'm perilously low on 'em now, but it was worth it.

And now - to bed and goodnight to you all. ♥

Fic: Just A Girl (Young Wizards; Dairine; K)

trialia — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 23:05:42 GMT

Title: Just A Girl
Author: Trialia
Fandom: Young Wizards
Rating: K
Word Count: ~300
Character(s): Dairine Callahan
Pairing(s): N/A
Beta: N/A
Notes: For mizzy2k in honour of International Women's Day 2011; prompt "just a little girl".
Summary: Sometimes it seems like everyone who lives around Dairine treats her like a little kid.

Sometimes it seems like everyone who lives around Dairine treats her like a little kid. Except the wizards, and her dad.

The non-wizardly adults who know her - well, most of them seem unsure how to act when she's around, like she might explode if they say something wrong. Nita sometimes jokes that she'd never thought Dairine's temper was that bad— and it's not, unless someone threatens something or someone she loves. It's more controlled now than it's ever been, because it has to be. She thinks it's stupid that people— people who don't know where she's been and all she's done— are afraid of her.

Her classmates had always thought she was weird, but the way she was treated at school (and not just by the kids) got worse, after her mom died. So much worse she couldn't walk across the schoolyard without noticing the adults stop talking when she glanced up, even when she wasn't looking at them. They were scared she'd break. For a while, so was she, but she still had Nita, and Dad, and she wondered, How much more scared would they be if they knew I'd created a world, pretty much?

She wishes what people thought of her wasn't so important; she tries to act like it isn't.

Unfortunately, as a wizard, she's got to learn what people think and how they think, and how to deal with them. Someday she might be a Senior, and then she'd need to know. She's got to learn not to be hurt by it, but to pay attention to it anyway.

Sometimes she feels like she is a little kid, with a whole lot more power than she'd ever thought she'd have at her command.

Sometimes, she's a little afraid of what she is.

-fin

poetry: within without

trialia — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 02:01:13 GMT

The world beyond emotion
lies bleak,
a grassy pasture
without scent or colour,
or the sound of wind through the blades underfoot.

Touch is as nothing, as though sensation
no longer means a thing.
Beyond fear, interest, sorrow, lies apathy.
Blank sheet
without emotion.
Even thought
is hard to grasp
in that place
when you don't care to find it.

Who knows what lies beyond that?
What might?

People talk of it, but all that is meaningless,
until you've been there. Known there.

If your eyes were open,
not blinded but unseeing,
unaware,
would you still be afraid?

Sometimes I think
I'd almost prefer it,
because then,
it would not frighten me
not to care what I see.

The sound of silence
can be so heavy.
So solitary,
as if no voice can penetrate
that airy veil of nothingness.

If you can break
the silence of the heart
that longs to care at all,
tell me how.

If you can break your own, that too.

It's something. And something
is more than the blank sheet of paper
I am holding.

A dearth of nothingness.

Can you give me that?