path of a body
whenever i start wearing a splint on a new—previously unsplinted—finger joint, it always feels uncomfortable for a while. i have the sensation that my movement is being constrained more than it should be. but then i look at my extended finger and see that the joint is level instead of concave and realise this is the range of motion non-hypermobile people have.
more of my joints have been (what i think of as) failing of late. once the pain sets in, it never goes away again completely. i used to only really have to wear the splints at work but more and more i find myself needing them at home as well. i have the feeling that one day i'm going to end up needing splints for all my PIP and DIP joints. having just written that i realise the day is closer than i thought since i already splint both joints on my index and middle fingers, and the PIP on my left ring and pinkie fingers. i also occasionally have to splint the DIP on those two fingers. so really it's only the ring and pinkie fingers on my right hand that have yet to fail. and i think the PIP on the ring is starting to go.
then there are my thumbs. my left thumb CMC was, i think, the first of all my joints to fail. it was the first one i bought a splint for, in any case. the MP and IP joints quickly followed. i also splint my right thumb IP but it's needed a CMC for a long time and i've just been in denial because the pain is less obvious than it was with my left hand. my first thumb splint was the Push Ortho Thumb Brace CMC, which worked very well. then i switched to a CMC + MP splint from eds ring splints, which i've been using for a few years. i think i'm going to have to give it up, though, and go back to the Push because it doesn't seem to be helping my CMC as much as it used to.
except i lost my Push brace on the bus a couple of months ago. i'd shoved it into the top of my bag and it must've fallen out when i went in to get something else. usually when i get off the bus i look back to make sure i haven't left anything behind on the seat but that day i had to manoeuvre around someone sitting on the outside who didn't have the courtesy to stand up and let me out. rude person cost me $70. so now i have to replace the one for my left thumb and buy one for my right thumb and hope that splinting both the CMC and IP will mean the un-splinted MP behaves itself.
i did find another CMC + MP splint made in a similar design to the Push brace, but in reading the description i realised that it immobilises the joints rather than simply preventing them from hyperextending. so that's no good.
i think i also need to find better elbow braces. the elastic-y ones from the chemist don't seem to be quite enough anymore. and apart from my thoracic vertebrae, my elbows are my most consistently painful joints. most of my joints are painful if you apply even a small amount of pressure, but my elbows just hurt.
.
there are things i know i should do. find another physiotherapist. possibly remedial massage would be beneficial. but those are difficult and painful things for a variety of reasons. and it's too hard. everything in my minimal, severely-curtailed life is already too hard. there's no room for anything more. in fact, i think the room is shrinking.
you should try, says the multitude.
i'm tired of trying.
one day i will lie down and not get back up.
one day.
--
This entry was originally posted at Dreamwidth. If you feel inclined, comment there.
more of my joints have been (what i think of as) failing of late. once the pain sets in, it never goes away again completely. i used to only really have to wear the splints at work but more and more i find myself needing them at home as well. i have the feeling that one day i'm going to end up needing splints for all my PIP and DIP joints. having just written that i realise the day is closer than i thought since i already splint both joints on my index and middle fingers, and the PIP on my left ring and pinkie fingers. i also occasionally have to splint the DIP on those two fingers. so really it's only the ring and pinkie fingers on my right hand that have yet to fail. and i think the PIP on the ring is starting to go.
then there are my thumbs. my left thumb CMC was, i think, the first of all my joints to fail. it was the first one i bought a splint for, in any case. the MP and IP joints quickly followed. i also splint my right thumb IP but it's needed a CMC for a long time and i've just been in denial because the pain is less obvious than it was with my left hand. my first thumb splint was the Push Ortho Thumb Brace CMC, which worked very well. then i switched to a CMC + MP splint from eds ring splints, which i've been using for a few years. i think i'm going to have to give it up, though, and go back to the Push because it doesn't seem to be helping my CMC as much as it used to.
except i lost my Push brace on the bus a couple of months ago. i'd shoved it into the top of my bag and it must've fallen out when i went in to get something else. usually when i get off the bus i look back to make sure i haven't left anything behind on the seat but that day i had to manoeuvre around someone sitting on the outside who didn't have the courtesy to stand up and let me out. rude person cost me $70. so now i have to replace the one for my left thumb and buy one for my right thumb and hope that splinting both the CMC and IP will mean the un-splinted MP behaves itself.
i did find another CMC + MP splint made in a similar design to the Push brace, but in reading the description i realised that it immobilises the joints rather than simply preventing them from hyperextending. so that's no good.
i think i also need to find better elbow braces. the elastic-y ones from the chemist don't seem to be quite enough anymore. and apart from my thoracic vertebrae, my elbows are my most consistently painful joints. most of my joints are painful if you apply even a small amount of pressure, but my elbows just hurt.
.
there are things i know i should do. find another physiotherapist. possibly remedial massage would be beneficial. but those are difficult and painful things for a variety of reasons. and it's too hard. everything in my minimal, severely-curtailed life is already too hard. there's no room for anything more. in fact, i think the room is shrinking.
you should try, says the multitude.
i'm tired of trying.
one day i will lie down and not get back up.
one day.
--
This entry was originally posted at Dreamwidth. If you feel inclined, comment there.