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i sometimes feel like i will come apart in the air.
perhaps i need the weight of the water to hold me together.

.

she said: even though you are not a child, you are still my child. and you are not a real adult yet.
i said: i might never be a real adult.
she said: i know. and i am afraid of what will happen to you when i'm gone.

and i thought so am i.

.

i have finished The Ice Storm and am now finishing Plain Seeing.
i thought last night that she would die.
i thought last night that i would die.

i don't know
but i am trying