conversations with m

her: your eyes are so beautiful. you should get contacts.
me: i don't want contacts.

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(watching a libra ad)

me: this is weird, but at least the person who created it used some imagination.
her: i just keep wondering why that guy is wearing the dress. is he a cross-dresser? is he gay?
me: that'll be the next ad, where he comes out to his friends and they use an absorbent libra pad to dry his tears.

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(cooking pork)

her: how do i know when it's cooked?
me: eat some. if you die, it's not cooked.