They watched. They judged. They smirked. The Sheep thought he was humiliating himself with all his screaming going on. They were critical and disgusted with him throughout the whole ordeal.

Summary of “The Sheep and the Pig” Fable

The stressed, strained screams and the groaning, grumbling grunts coming from the Pig were like loud explosions of firecrackers blistering the sky with disruptive noises that could be heard all over the tranquil pasture.

The Pig was under assault. While the Pig had been roaming around in the pasture full of Sheep, the Shepherd spotted him and scooped him up. The Shepherd wanted the porker for bacon.

The Sheep, card-carrying members of the Keep-A-Stiff-Upper-Lip Brigade, stood by in disgust, watching the captured, screaming Pig carrying on like a banshee.

Tucking the Pig tightly under his arm, the Shepherd strode through the Sheep herd on his way to the butcher in the marketplace. All the while, the Pig was squealing frantically, grunting loudly, and wrestling wildly to escape.

The keep-a-stiff-upper-lip Sheep, known for keeping a passive, submissive attitude, were much astonished at the Pig’s wild behavior.

The Sheep followed the Shepherd and his prize Pig to the pasture gate. Straight-faced. Unemotional.

“Stop the squeal!” the sheep said in unison. One Sheep asked the Pig, “What makes you squeal like that?” Another mused aloud that sheep get caught and carried off too, but would be much ashamed to carry on like a wild child.

“That’s all very well,” replied the Pig, squealing and kicking frantically. “When he catches you, he is only after your wool. But he wants my bacon!”

The Sheep and the Pig fable can be found at @ Library of Congress Aesop Fables

Aesop’s moral of the fable:

It is easy to be brave when there is no danger.

The Sheep did not take the time to understand the situation before reacting negatively to the Pig’s screams. While keeping a stiff upper lip can be admirable, complaining is sometimes justified.

· Keep a stiff upper lip.

· Calm down.

· Stay positive.

· Hang in there.

· Keep your chin up.

· Stay calm and carry on.

· Get over it.

· Keep smiling.

· Face the music.

Words and phrases we hear and say, assuming they are encouragement. They aren’t. Especially to the Pig during his trauma-inducing disaster, happening in real time.

Showing courage, self-restraint, and strength are commendable traits. But that can only come after healing the trauma.

We don’t get tough or get over scary, hurtful experiences until we feel seen and understood. Not until the grief, trauma, fear, sadness, and losses are acknowledged and validated — then the healing and acceptance begin.

Empathy, a healing balm, can happen between us and our injured self or between us and another.

Empathy is when the line between self and the injured blurs, and the vision of self makes room for the injured to be nestled deep inside.

Bessel Van Der Kolk, in his bestseller The Body Keeps the Score, tells us how to wrestle trauma, in ourselves and others, to the ground with empathy:

• Listen without judging self or others.
  Stay silent. Remain calm. Focus on what is being said. Shut out all distractions to listen, to hear, to absorb the meaning.

• Offer no unsolicited advice or solutions.
  Save the suggestions for later when things have had time to marinate.

• Hear, acknowledge, and understand the trauma.
  See it with fresh eyes from a different point of view.

• Avoid minimizing, trivializing, and justifying the trauma.
  Even if you don’t understand or agree, accept anyway.

• Create a calm, safe, predictable environment.
  A routine creates a safe, trauma-free zone.

• Learn more about trauma.
  Reading The Body Keeps the Score is a good place to start.

A reimagined moral of the fable of The Sheep and the Pig:

Before you criticize and accuse, walk a mile in their shoes.

Atticus was right. One time, he said, you never really know a man until you stand in his shoes and walk around in them. ~ Harper Lee

Oatmeal Scream

I am grateful for your interest in Becoming: Creating a Life to Love. Thank you.

As always, yours for Becoming,
Patricia

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