instrument of surrender

by iwan

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1.
laid to sleep a still corpse pose unalloyed restless sleep still weighed by moonlight i’d give everything! i’d give everything! i’d give everything! i’d give everything! eyes keep shut tread softly in my dreams i still hold you close mouth sewn shut speak softly i can hear you breathing still i see you i ache for the way your body felt when you were above ground when you were full of life i am cursed to recall it every day scoured my mind rid this skull of object permanence you’re still here but there is nothing only warmth where you used to lay walking corpses of the ones i love walking corpses of the past i had walking corpses living memory death takes swiftly(with no remorse)(drown it/im drowning) save me once more(from consciousness)(to an end-to an end-to an end) give me one night’s rest(the awfulness)(i’d give any-i’d give an-i’d give anything)
2.
a hanging man haunts my dreams every single night he stares back at me a twisted face that looks like mine with mouth wide open and spiteful tongue it speaks of all the hell i’ve made for those around me, who know my name every wrong, inscribed on stone, hung ‘round my neck like an albatross damned if i do or if i don't what does it take to know i’ve grown it's all the same, the only way i know, keeping all the pain that ive inherited i must look forward to what i can change, instead of falling into this wretched bed i made there has to be a way out, or else there is no point damned if i do or if i don't (i’ll bury me)
3.
will you tell me about who you were an oral history of what made you who you are when you drove fast cars into the sun you must have been young once, where did it go a warning light came on this morning [i let the wheel drift] i pushed my foot down, hearing the low thrum roar [swerve into traffic] i’m looking farther out, my eyes glazed over [i let the wheel drift, i let the wheel go] drive up that medium, and into oncoming [FLOAT] my short term is failing, so write it all down the notepad i keep is a secondary brain to me my primary one is kept so longingly filled of places i have never seen, of people i will never be remember (remember) what ive never seen remember (remember) what i have never known remembrance i keep in this coat wrapped around me i let the wheel drift i let the wheel drift tell me about that lighting in ht (let the wheel drift) the way it shifts when you recall (let the wheel drift) your father’s last words to you (let the wheel drift) when you were young and afraid (let the wheel drift) let me go with you [i am everyone ive never been i am everyone ive never met]
4.
human life is trapped for hours chained to a spot they pick for you forced to consume, and be consumed so we can live from hand to mouth barely made it in this week i’m falling behind productivity where will i go if this place lets me go where can i go for 40 hours (can you call this life?) i’m calling it in (as far as we know) the market is set (is this what is right?) i don’t think we were meant to live like this no Take back what they stole Heads will roll! (our shackles shake] Break the chains (living hourly wage] We curse the days with Unburdened Disdain (sickened by greed] No profits to take (feeding on our toil] As sweat beads on brow (forced to suck up] We shun every hour (40 hours a week] Until we rise from our graves Heads will roll! Heads will roll! Heads will roll! Until we rise from our graves Set fire to their homes and watch We can’t let them get away with this It takes so few to start a movement To shake the old foundations they built
5.
A thin wry smile below two weary eyes (cry out, cry out) surrender pain too often felt (failure, failure) your shaking hand comes to your lips again (drowning, drowning) ruminate on what you always beg for (solace) (solace, solace, ) (so lost, so lost, so lost, so lost) (longing and losing) (again and again and again) (Brevity!) Is this how it’ll always be! (Commemorate!) Someday I’ll remember me! (We’re wasting time!) The light that goes from my eyes! (Gethesmane!) For cycles of recovering Rooted myself to the amber sea floor trying to find out why the light has gone out but there’s nothing not memories to find where it went just cycles of hardship, i’m drowning again i find it so hard to remember me now not who i am here, but where i have gone aging is culling the hope from my heart and drowning is all i have left i can call my own, on my own

about

DO NOT PAY BANDCAMP FOR THIS ALBUM. BUY ON BANDCAMP FRIDAY'S IF YOU WANT OR GIVE US MONEY DIRECTLY HERE: paypal.me/iwanbandchicago
MP3: tinyurl.com/instrument-of-surrender-mp3
WAV: tinyurl.com/instrument-of-surrender-wav

credits

released October 27, 2023

recorded/mixed/mastered by Peter Grossman at Bricktop Recording

iwan is:
Caleb - Bass/Vocals
Matty - Guitar/Vocals
Justin - Drums/Vocals

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iwan Chicago, Illinois

iwan (ee-wan) [verb] to leave something behind • to abandon something • to vacate something

four pairs of glasses from Chicago, IL

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