The Truth? I'm not sure honesty and truth are the same thing anymore.

Done with reconstuction

timekpr — Wed, 27 Jun 2012 14:01:33 GMT

So, I'm mostly done with the reconstruction after my mastectomy. Went on Sunday to http://www.maximumtattoostudio.com/ to see the talented Katie and get my scar covered. Before and after pic below

More Fanfic

timekpr — Sat, 22 Jan 2011 19:50:40 GMT

Title: Outside, looking in Ch. 2
Author: Timekpr
Rating: FRAO
Pairing: Rossi/Morgan, implied Rossi/Reid, Morgan/Reid
Summary: Spencer is used to being on the outside, looking in. Rossi/Morgan from Reid's PoV. Also implied Rossi/Reid, possibly Morgan/Rossi/Reid if the muse holds true. Slash. Work in progress.
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.

A/N - thanks to all who took a moment to review. I'm a little short on adult content this chapter but I couldn't keep Spencer focused, he kept getting distracted by the case!

I am quite desperate for a beta reader, please send me a PM if you'd be willing to beta for me.

He's avoiding them. Not avoiding Rossi, not avoiding Morgan; but avoiding Derek and David. If there is a Derek and David outside of his own fevered imaginings and wet dreams. Spencer has done more laundry in the last three weeks than he cares to quantify. His own feelings are a jumbled mix of desire, curiosity, and confusion. Most days the confusion overwhelms the rest of the equation.

Review and advise days are the worst. Days without active cases where they just read files and try to tell the locals how to catch killers and rapists that just aren't serious enough for a BAU team to tackle. Trapped together in the office, leaning over each others shoulders and making deals to trade off files after Emily loudly complains that she's going to light her desk on fire if she has to read another serial arson case today.

Reid's got a whole stack of autopsy photos spread over his desk when he notices the silence. The absence of shuffling papers and random questions being spouted to the room in general makes his skin crawl with dread - most commonly silence is a prelude to someone announcing they have a bad one that needs the entire team to analyze. Deliberately, he lifts his eyes to scan the bullpen.

Emily is typing softly, so unlike her usual forceful strikes, so softly that he knows she's giving some small-town sheriff the news that he's got a pyromaniac on his turf. Probably some local kid, one who grew up in town, a troubled teenager who's about to escalate to occupied buildings and taking lives.

JJ is just visible through the glass, out in the hall, talking with one of the agents from cybercrimes. Probably a pedophile case - cyber catches most of those cases now, and Spencer is glad his team is rarely called to assist them. He can't stand seeing Morgan suffer every time a sexual predator demands the BAU's attention.

Hotch's door is closed, which means Strauss is on the phone. It used to be that Hotch always kept the door closed, but since Haley left he keeps it open. Having lost one family by shutting them out, Spencer knows that Hotch won't risk putting this family at a distance. Even a distance so short as a closed door.

Morgan is nowhere to be seen, or heard. Most of the time Derek is the loudest profiler in the entire building, someone who just announces to the room at large, "What was the name of that detective in Arizona, on that case where the unsub was sodomizing hotel maids and ejaculating on their aprons?", like he's asking if there's any coffee left. Morgan is the reason JJ is doing a consult in the hallway, and maybe its deliberate action on Morgan's part to keep them all safe and insulated from the rest of the FBI.

And maybe, thinks Spencer, I do it too. Nothing says, 'stay away' quite like a half dozen color photos of victims spread out across his desk like a macabre welcome mat. The pictures grab his attention back, some pattern in the large caliber bullet wounds and facial bruising hovering just out of reach of his conscious mind. Unconsciously he traces his fingers along the edge of the closest image, trying to feel a pattern his eyes can't spot.

A dark voice freezes him in place, fingertips hovering in midair. Rossi's voice, warm and friendly with the dark undertone that always spikes directly into his groin, "What have you got, Reid?"

Rossi, directly behind him. So close that Spencer can sense the warmth of the body along his spine. So sudden that his compartmentalization fails utterly for a moment and he wonders how long he's been sitting here stroking evidence, completely immersed in chasing a half-formed hypothesis. So unexpected, that he can't even collect his own thoughts to respond.

Rossi, looming over him. Spencer jumps a little, startled, when Rossi's hands come to rest on his shoulders. He melts a little when he feels soft fingers graze along the edge of his collar as David leans forward examining the photo array on his desk.

It takes a cough and two stutters before Spencer can force words past the knot of sexual tension caught in his throat, "Akron, OH. In the last three months four men and two women shot execution style with large caliber handguns. Ballistics don't match but all have some degree of perimortem bruising to the head and face. Locals can't find any kind of a link between the victims."

"You're overthinking things, Reid. Stop thinking and just let it happen once in a while. Instincts are at the deepest core of who we are, and what we do." Rossi's advice hits him like a stage direction, one his cock would be more than happy to follow. Spencer shifts uncomfortably in his chair while he tries to convince his libido that David was talking about profiling, not fucking.

"You gave me the facts, which the locals already have. What have you got, Doctor Reid?", demands Rossi, drawing Spencer back to the case file. "The facts don't always tell us if its a serial, if it was about facts Garcia could write a program to identify BAU cases and we'd all be out of a job. What does your gut tell you about these victims?"

"It isn't a signature, its a style", mutters Spencer. "They look like professional contract kills, different weapons, bodies left where they fell, subdued with a blow to the head so each died from a single gunshot."

"Hitman develops a taste for his job, begins killing for pleasure instead of money?" Rossi responds, and now Spencer is losing all focus as those deceptively strong fingers dig in to the knot of tight muscle at the base of his neck. "Send it over to Carl Dennis in Organized crime. He'll know if the style matches a known operator. If it does, we'll take it to Hotch on Monday."

"Th..Th..Thanks Rossi." he stammers, and gathers the photos back in to the folder, his fingers sticky with nervous sweat. He hopes his discomfort has passed unnoticed but those hands are still working along his spine with maddening intensity and he's suddenly certain that David knows that he's hard as a rock under the cover of his desk.

The sudden absence of Rossi's warmth behind him makes Spencer stifle a whimper as the older profiler steps to the side of the desk, drawing Spencer's eyes up to meet that dazzling gaze. "Come out to my cabin this weekend. Agent Morgan and I were planning on getting away from civilization for a few days and you look like a man who could use a change of scenery." Rossi smiles, radiating heat that reaches inside Spencer in ways that make him wish he was anywhere but sitting in the middle of a room with glass walls and surrounded by a half-dozen trained observers.

He's almost too keyed up to answer, but the words just spill from his lips, "I think I might take you up on that."

"Don't think Spencer, just do" calls Rossi over his shoulder as he walks away.

So, I wrote stuff

timekpr — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 18:31:13 GMT

Not sure if that means things are improving, or if things are so bad I feel the need to escape into someone else's fantasy world.

First Piece of Criminal Minds fanfic

Title: Outside, looking in
Author: Timekpr
Rating: FRAO
Pairing: Rossi/Morgan, implied Rossi/Reid
Summary: Spencer is used to being on the outside, looking in. Rossi/Morgan from Reid's PoV. Also implied Rossi/Reid, possibly Morgan/Rossi/Reid if the muse holds true. Slash. Work in progress.
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.

A/N - My first CM story, inspired by a series of email conversations with lastcrazyhorn over on Fanfiction.net. I doubt this was what she had in mind when suggesting I try writing Rossi/Morgan - but I hope it doesn't disappoint too badly. If you want more, please review.

He's the most sensual man Spencer has ever watched. And he watches Rossi. Frequently. Almost obsessively. Watches Rossi reassure Emily with a caress to her lower back that would be sexual harassment from any one else, but is somehow just a casual gesture of friendship from him. Sees Hotch, Hotch who maintains a private personal space that no one invades uninvited, allowing Rossi the physical intimacy of embraces with no reaction other than one of his rare smiles. Hears the warmth in Garcia's voice that makes her entirely professional dialog with Rossi more sexually charged than her blatantly invitational flirting with Morgan. Feels the heat build in himself when Rossi's eyes connect with his own across the conference table. Has to hide a grin when Morgan's aggressively heterosexual body language becomes stiff and forced when confronted with David's comfortable sexual self-assurance.

But Rossi has morals. Lines he never crosses. All the smooth liquid heat that surrounds David Rossi shifts to something more purely fatherly when he slips an arm around JJ. It amazes Reid that Rossi can turn it off like a light switch to deal with a victim, and only a moment later it blazes like a bonfire when all the man does is tilt his head to look at Hotch.

It isn't a secret, exactly, that Rossi is bisexual. Reid spotted it the first week David Rossi walked back in to the BAU. It takes Prentiss and Morgan a week or two longer, and he's certain Hotch already knew. JJ likely wouldn't care if she did notice, and Garcia, she's just as omnivorous in her sexual appetites. The team never discusses it - all the agreement not to profile each other really means is that they never admit what they see. An unspoken sacred trust that lets them stay sane with the knowledge that nothing can stay hidden from each other.

He feels a little guilty for studying Rossi so intently. Like he's breaking those unwritten rules. But he just can't stop. He's jealous, envious, and he just has to see what's inside David Rossi. Jealous that David displays his passion openly, envious that he can't show his team that he, too, would surrender himself to their pleasure if they would give him the chance. Wanting just once to be seen as a man, not a child. To be seen as a lover, not a colleague.

Reid knows he would have missed the signs if he hadn't been observing so closely. Might not have seen how Morgan changes from rigidly uptight to warmly relaxed around Rossi. Might have missed how David suddenly knows exactly how Morgan likes his coffee, and the perfect time to stop by his desk in the bullpen with a refill. Might have overlooked how Morgan's eyes linger on Rossi walking up the stairs to Hotch's office, or how David swaggers just a little more when he knows Morgan is watching him.

Images of Derek and David together torment him every night. When he wraps soapy fingers around his own cock he imagines Derek on his knees, David driving himself balls deep into those dark lips. He wakes from dream images of Morgan pushing those big fingers into Rossi, David's usual eloquence reduced to animal grunts and pleading for "more" and "harder". Plays over and over in his mind the picture of Derek begging to be allowed to come while David pounds into his ass. Can almost hear the wet slick sound of sex and smell the sweat-soaked sheets when Derek fucks Dave face-to-face, slow and hard, never breaking eye contact, nothing to hide from each other.

Spencer is used to being on the outside, looking in.

Friends

timekpr — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 22:48:33 GMT

Having made a conscious choice in the last year to walk away from a huge part of my life, the issue of friendship has been on my mind.

What is a friend?

What do I expect from a friend?

What do I owe my friends?

Given the joys of the past year, with a divorce, a move across the country, my parents both having life threatening health problems, and my troubles finding a job - I've wished for the support of a few good friends more often in the last 12 months than at any time in the past 12 years.

Funny how everything sorts itself out. When I had to spend almost 2 months back in Illinois (and I fly back on the 24th for a few more fun-filled weeks of taking care of Mom and Dad) I found out that of the many people I thought of as friends, exactly 2 were willing to make any kind of contact and only one could find the time to meet up with me. The one who made that extra bit of effort wasn't who I expected....it was one of the old storytelling team from Chi Requiem. Bonded in the trenches of adversity trumps every other kind of friendship, I guess.

Mostly a negative experience, with that one positive mark of finding out that an old gaming buddy deserved the friend title.

So I have been asking myself...am I expecting too much from my friends? Hey, there are two explanations for my disappointment, one being that they let me down, the other that I'm expecting too much.

What do I expect? Honesty, first and foremost. I'd rather hear, wow, wish I could meet up with you but the kids are sick, my job is hell, and I just don't have the time right now than hear nothing. Guess that means that even before honesty, I expect to hear something from my friends. The courtesy of a response is not just requested, but expected. I expect that when I ask a question they will answer...whether I like the answer or not is less important than knowing where they stand. I appreciate that they took a stand, made a statement, showed me that little bit extra about who they are.

I expect that my friends will provide a safe place for me to express myself. A place where I can be cranky, or sad, or joyful and that's ok. A place where my feelings are respected, even if not understood. A place where I don't have to watch my mouth, or my back - because these few rare people will laugh with me, hold me if I'm hurting, and forgive me if I say something rude or insensitive. It's great if they tell me I was being a bitch, so I know I crossed the line and should apologize for hurting them. Then it gets to be my turn to offer a hug and an apology and make my friend feel better.

What do I owe my friends? Honesty, with them and with myself. When they need me to have their back, no matter what shit I am facing I should put that aside for a while and help them out. Yeah my Dad has cancer, that doesn't mean I won't come help you move. Yeah, I'm lonely and could really use a friend to talk to, but I'd be glad to listen to what is on your mind. I may need a hug, but it would make me feel better too if I could give you one when you're having a shitty day.

I owe them some of my time - my budget isn't going to allow for going out and hitting the clubs, but I can spring for 2 coffees at Starbucks or a 6-pack on the couch. I can't go out to a first run movie but I can laugh at some stupid reality show on MTV or compare your boss to that evil black smoke guy on Lost. A steak dinner is out of the question but I'd rather eat 99 cent burritos at Taco Bell with good company than a 5 course meal alone. It may be difficult but I will find the time - I will work around their schedule. I get if you have to cancel on short notice, as long as you know that sometimes I may do the same.

No one should be my friend without being treated with respect. My friends should always feel that even if I disagree with them, I respect where they stand. I may try to convince them to change their mind, but if they don't I will still be proud to call them friends. When they do something that hurts me, I will let them know. And I still want to be their friend, as long as they care that they hurt me and would like to make it better. The reverse is true as well - I do hurt my friends sometimes but I feel bad about it and I will try to make them feel better. Forgiving someone who takes a hurtful action without meaning it to be hurtful is part of having respect for who they are.

Somewhere there is a line, though, a point at which you look at a friend and can no longer be certain that they are the kind of person you want in your life. When you start feeling like they are deliberately cruel. If you have to wonder where they stand because they won't tell you what is going on in their head. Once you notice a disconnect between their words and their actions. Perhaps you see that they no longer care about how their actions make you feel. Worse, that they no longer notice how you feel at all.

I'm certainly guilty of being a bad friend on occasion. There have been times in my life when I didn't have the energy to have anyone's back, so I wasn't there for someone who needed me. I work pretty hard at avoiding being cruel, so I don't think I can put that black mark on my soul. I've done things, or not done things, that I felt guilty about later. When I feel guilt over an action (or inaction) that's a pretty good sign that I did something wrong. I've always been just about immune to the "guilt trip" - nobody can make me feel guilty, so when I do feel guilt I know I screwed up. There is someone out there I owe an apology and I better start trying to make up for my own shortcomings in that relationship.

Had it happen to me last night. Lost my temper while a guest at a friend's house. Said friend was expecting that I might...I had warned her that I was not in the best frame of mind and was feeling hurt already. She encouraged me to stay anyway, and unfortunately I was unable to swallow the hurt when someone else scraped an already raw nerve. I caused a scene that included raised voices in her home. I left immediately thereafter, and before I even got home I called her (and her son) to apologize for my conduct in their home. I felt guilty before I even got completely out of the driveway. My bad = my apology. It sucks a little because as much as I would like to share the company of the one person in Las Vegas who wants me around, I won't go out there again unless I am confident that I can do so without disturbing the harmony of their home.

I shouldn't be feeling as much pain over the loss of old friends as I am currently. After all, they were lost long ago, I'm just taking inventory now so the loss is old, only my awareness of the loss is new. Some losses probably aren't a tragedy, as I have begun to see that some of them were never the kind of people I should have wanted in my life. I wish that changed how much it hurts to have judged them so poorly in the first place.

Ranting

timekpr — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 23:09:13 GMT

Warning: this post may have a marked bias against men, those frustrating creatures who are ruled by their Y chromosome rather than their intellect.

It is possible that the single most annoying thing about males is their tendency to want something only until they have it.

Ever seen a guy spend weeks to pick out the perfect big screen TV and then 3 days after its hanging on his wall he's looking at the Best Buy ad and bitching about how he could have had the one thats just slightly more uber?

Or how they can spend months saving up for a new video card for the computer that 35 minutes after it gets installed all they have to say is how this other, more expensive one would have been better.

I suppose it is a holdover from the hunter society we evolved in, a time when human survival depended on the hunters always looking forward to the next hunt and being unsatisfied with what they already had acquired.

Why in the world do men put all that effort in to obtain something that they won't put any effort into keeping? It's like buying a brand new sports car and then never changing the oil - anything you don't maintain breaks down.

Booklist

timekpr — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 16:22:36 GMT

Hunting Ground by Patricia Briggs - I liked the first book in the series better, but this one is still very good. Not saying much about it as I know a few people on my friends list plan to read and I don't want to spoil the fun. A-

Green Mars and Blue Mars by Kim Stanley Robinson - having read the first one, I picked up the rest of the trilogy cheap on eBay. I like my techie sci-fi just as much as the next geek, but I get a little tired of the endless descriptions of Martian terrain and geology. B-

The Money Lawyers by Joseph Goulden - Everything you never wanted to know about the kind of people who drive up consumer prices with crazy lawsuits and excessive judgments. Fascinating in a bug under a microscope sort of way...I wouldn't want to be one of these people, but I understand why they exist and hope I never have to hire one. B+

Going to be picking up a couple of things I've been waiting on, including the Evolution of God.

On a side note - I went with siliconspook this weekend out to the Summerlin branch of the library so he could pick up a book he needed. Depressing that the amazingly beautiful, well-stocked, modern library out there in the upper class neighborhood makes my tiny, dirty, crowded branch look like a goodwill used bookstore. Less people in that branch on a Saturday afternoon than my branch has lined up outside ten minutes before opening time on a weekday.

Low income areas need the big library, those people out in Summerlin can afford to buy books. Pisses me off.

Another Monday

timekpr — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 19:19:20 GMT

Been working on all sorts of things - finding a job, completeing my divorce paperwork, applying for college, and reading lots of books.

The return pile for the library is pretty thick today..

Places To Be, People To Kill edited by Martin Greenberg - a fun collection of fantasy stories about assassins. The standout best was a Tanya Huff Vree and Bannon story about killers on vacation.B-

Reset by Kurt Anderson - Trite. Another "let's go back to a time of simpler values" essay about how we used to be content with less and that the real solution to the current economic crisis is to be happy with what we have and stop pining for what we've lost. C-

Lost Boy by Brent W. Jeffs - An insightful look inside the Fundamentalist Church of Latter-Day Saints (FLDS). Written by a nephew of the imprisoned prophet of the sect, it does not paint a pretty picture of polygamy and the brainwashing of youth. B

Curiosities of Literature by John Sutherland - A great collection of random anecdotes and little-know facts about some of the greatest works of literature. Ever wanted to know what was the most popular book in America during the civil war? (Les Miserables by Victor Hugo) Or what writer was the first to embrace the technology of the word processor? (Arthur C. Clarke) How about the fastest novelist? Read the book and find out. A

Winds of Dune by Brian Herbert and Kevin Anderson - While most of the posthumously published work in the Dune universe was clearly concieved by Frank Herbert before his death, this one just felt and read wrong. Time to let Mr. Herbert's remaining notes molder quietly away to dust rather than keep churning out books that aren't nearly as well written as the original five novels. D+

Packing the Court by James MacGregor Burns - A fascinating history of the US Supreme Court as a political force. Rather dry and scholarly but I learned a great deal from it. The congressional hearings required to confirm a new justice make more sense once you see the historical record. For example, back in 1798 Justice James Wilson died in debtor's prison while still a Supreme Court Justice. B-

This Weeks Reading List

timekpr — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 17:53:20 GMT

Sick by Jonathan Cohn - This book has gotten a lot of media attention, but its just a collection of "typical" case studies of lives devastated by the American Health Care system. Heavy on the emotional ploy, light on actual suggestions for improvement. The most interesting thing was a history of how our current insurance system developed....as a way to keep hospitals open by collecting a fee in advance for providing future care to certain groups. C+

Dreamfever by Karen Marie Moning - book 4 of her Fever series, this was the best one yet. Ends on a cliffhanger I'll still be mad about next year when the final book is released. A+

Red Mars by Kin Stanley Robinson - A well known sci-fi classic, being offered free on the Kindle to attract new readers to his works. Solid science, intense political theory but a little hard to follow the characters and story. B+

Skin Deep by Mark Del Franco - a stand alone book set in the same world as his Connor Grey novels, this was surprisingly fun and fast paced, with characters I could bond with and a few sideways twists on DC politics. A-

Heading over to the library to pick up a few more holds - even though my local branch is poorly stocked and equipped I can't say anything too bad about the Las Vegas Library District. The online search is easy to use, requesting hold items takes just seconds, and I get most things pretty quickly.

Fragments of story

timekpr — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 06:24:49 GMT

The heat at night stirs some deep memory for me, some echo of nights when I was a child. I can't quite capture the images but I know that somewhere before I felt a deep peace walking into a night that was furnace hot and scented with desert sand.

Its quiet too - even the crickets make no sound scurrying across the patio. Florida darkness was always filled with sound, but even the insects here are respectfully silent.

Library Run

timekpr — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 15:59:09 GMT

Got a notice that one of my 12+ book requests has arrived, so here is this week's reading list so far:

Imbibe by David Wondrich - The history of the American cocktail, with tons of recipes and techniques for mixing classic drinks. A fun read, but very few of the historical drinks tempt me to break out the barware. B+

Outcasts United by Warren St. John - The story of a soccer team in small-town Georgia, made up of refugees. Lots of interesting insight into being dumped headfirst into American culture with little or no assistance. Stories of tolerance and racism, cultural misunderstanding, and how people slowly start to re-build a community. Surprisingly good. A-

The Marriage~Go~Round by Andrew Cherlin - An analysis of the American cultural institution of marriage as compared to other industrialized nations. The statistics are amazing, even if it reads like a doctoral thesis. A tad academic (fifty pages of footnotes and bibliography, almost 20% of the total page count) but you won't have any doubt that his premise has a solid basis in hard fact. A

What I've been reading

timekpr — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 17:12:22 GMT

Since the local library is only two blocks away, I've been doing a lot of reading. Here's my list from the last two weeks.

One Party Classroom By David Horowitz - While the book makes some valid points, and I agree with the author that higher education is teaching people what to think rather than how to think....he's just as biased as the radical left he "reveals" in the book. C-

The East, The West, and Sex by Richard Bernstein - An amazing study of how the cultural perception of sex in the East has led to the growth of "sex tourism" and the history of sexual interaction between western men and eastern women. A+

This is Your Country on Drugs by Ryan Grim - How the war on drugs has backfired and increased addiction, violent crime, and swollen our prison population to unmanageable levels. Well researched, excellent sources, clearly documented statistics. If anything would turn an anti-drug crusader to the cause of legalization and decriminalization, this book is it. A+

I Am America (And So Can You) by Stephen Colbert - Not as funny as his show. C

Strange Brew edited by P.N. Elrod - New Dresden story, a Patricia Briggs werewolf story, and contributions from Charlaine Harris and Karen Chance. Excellent way to pass the time waiting for the new Briggs novel at the end of the month. A+

Vanished by Kat Richardson - While on occasion her books can bog down, this fourth installment in her Greywalker series moves right along. Don't try to read it unless you've read the others, I got confused on occasion and I've read them all. B

Thorn Queen by Richelle Mead - book two of her fairy/shaman series. Fun, fast moving, worth the read. I'm starting to like this series better than her succubus series. A-

The Queen's Bastard and The Pretender's Crown by C.E. Murphy - I liked her Walker books, hated the Negotiator series, but this historically inspired fantasy series was fantastic. A+

City of Souls by Vicki Pettersson - book 4 of her Zodiac series. It's superheroes for adults and set in Las Vegas. She surprised me at the ending and if she writes another I have no idea where the story is going next. But I'll buy it. A

The Temp

timekpr — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 18:05:59 GMT

Went out and did an interview for a temp agency yesterday. The recruiter seems to think she can get me some work as a receptionist or executive assistant, particularly given that I'm willing to take even single day jobs.

I'm working my way through their required online skills tests - clocked over 6,000 keystrokes per minute on the ten-key test but its the typing test that scares me. I've never typed more than 35 wpm, and most temp places want 45+ wpm.

I've also decided that walking into a temp agency is worse than a regular interview - on a ordinary one if you blow it all you've lost is a chance at the few jobs available at that one company. The temp agency is a gateway to so many opportunities that all vanish if you fail to make a good impression.

A Comment on the Cambridge Police and Racisim

timekpr — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 16:14:37 GMT

For Professor Gates: Only an idiot antagonizes cops and doesn't expect to be arrested.

For Officer Crowley: People accused of breaking into their own house are likely to be rude, and don't deserve to be put in handcuffs.

For The "Good Neighbor" who called police: You are so observant that you hadn't noticed a black man living on your street? Methinks the only real racist is you, who apparently couldn't recognize your own neighbor in broad daylight.

For President Obama: You have the right to say, "I am not prepared to comment on that at this time.". If you give up that right, anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of public opinion. You have the right to stick your foot in your mouth. If you cannot stick your foot in your mouth, the media will twist your words until it sounds like you did. Do you under stand that everything you say reflects not only on yourself, but on your position as President, and our nation as a whole?

Additionally, how come my spellchecker still thinks Obama is a misspelled word?

On living in Las Vegas.....I got home late last night from driving my mother's friend to the airport and I could see the light on top of the Luxor shining up into the sky from my patio. I may not have a view of the strip but that is just cool.

Mom's flying home this afternoon, Dad starts a new round of chemo on Friday, I'm still looking for a job. I'll be playing catch up the rest of this week responding to emails and phone messages that have stacked up while Mom was in town.

Doing more before 8 AM...

timekpr — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 15:04:49 GMT

Unload dishwasher, strip bed and start laundry, scrub bathtub and bathroom sink, put away a load of laundry, clean catbox, feed cats, make shopping list, read the paper, check monster job listings, take shower, throw out expired coupons, call Mom.

Not surprising that I take a nap in the afternoon most days.

The long and the short of it

timekpr — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 07:29:33 GMT

Overall, the holiday weekend has sucked.

1. I miss having excellent fireworks that I can see from front yard. I like fireworks, just not enough to brave a huge crowd of people alone to go see them here.

2. I do miss getting to just hang out and relax. Due to various factors, the few people I have been intro'd to out here just aren't the sort of people I'll ever be comfortable enough around to kick back and have a beer with.

3. I'm frustrated a bit by not having any way to get out and meet people I might be able to appreciate. I think that as soon as I have a job joining a bowling league may get priority even over having a couch. That seems to be the cheapest plan I have thus far for meeting people.

4. My knee and back are still in open revolt, so I couldn't even go bowling tonight. Ended up hitting a pair of bingo sessions (total waste) and playing a few slots. Overall I'm breaking even on slots or coming out slightly ahead - just a matter of knowing when to cash out and walk away.

Like a hole in the head

timekpr — Sat, 02 May 2009 20:33:28 GMT

That's exactly how much I needed another one of these:

She's cute, sweet, and healthy - once she puts on a few pounds.

Looming deadlines

timekpr — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 21:52:02 GMT

Truck comes on May 7:

This week,

Wed Apr 29 is vehicle day: truck tires and oil change, trailer tires, and get spare keys made. Also pack the ritual gear and altar.DONE: total cost $130

Thur Apr 30 is barn day, Harry has a vet visit so I'll install the anchors on my trailer for the tie downs and the wheel chock. Pick up meds for Moose who has ear mites. Might even get truck cleaned out and verify packing arrangement. Pick up boxes at Home Depot. DONE ~~Find a beautiful skinny stray cat and try to convince myself Squeak won't need a friend.~~

Friday May 1 will be wash day, move all the clothes going with me to the suitcase and get the rest in boxes. ~~Call movers with final inventory.~~DONE

Saturday May 2 is end of the ~~books~~ and knickknacks: anything not in a box by end of day is not going with me.

Sunday May 3 is big awkward crap day - getting the ~~china cab~~, painting, ~~shadowbox~~, and cedar chest ready to roll.

Monday May 4 is computer take down, ~~get the laptop setup for temporary use in office~~. Anything besides the laptop in office has to be packed. Also any electronics from bedroom: lamp, alarm clock. Call movers for truck arrival estimate. Pick up comic boxes, get cashier's check and cash tip money for movers.

Tuesday May 5 is truck load - roof carrier installed and loaded, tv and comp, and kitty stuff. Pick up Mom at airport in the evening.

Wednesday May 6 is anything left - Mom will be here and I may ask Colleen to come back as well to get whatever is left, done. Bag the mattress and box spring and wash the sheets. Print shipping labels for anything getting mailed.

Thursday May 7 is truck, and if they get loaded and out before 2 PM Mom and I are leaving too.

Colleen, if you see this please call - my cellphone ate your number so I can only find Jeff's.

Rare regrets

timekpr — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 01:03:54 GMT

For the first time in a very long time, I'm a little bit sorry I got out of the comic book industry. Was trying to find updated contact info for a few of my old references and joined Linkedin.

I am surprised and touched at how many of the people I have asked to connect with me have not only said yes, but have taken a moment to send along a personal note.

Calling in markers

timekpr — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 16:01:42 GMT

If you are in Florida, and i haven't called you yet, I will soon.

Ringing the alarm bells, I just can't get everything packed up in time without help. My moving truck comes on May 7, so everything has to be done before that.

I'm going crazy.

So glad this week is over...

timekpr — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 03:35:16 GMT

Just a nutshell...

The phone calls started at 7:30 AM on my birthday from the barn - I was planning to take the day off. I didn't.

Next day, same problem with a hungry raccoon in the feed, so couldn't take the day off. Didn't stay late, so I missed the excitement when a horse got loose, and tried to run down an employee who was trying to catch him.

Thurs was all day at the barn, holding horses for the farrier. And stuff. Harry was a raving lunatic all day, Rain couldn't stand still to save her life so it was a big wrestling match to get her feet trimmed.

Friday was Thurs, only worse - wind gusts caused the farrier's truck to destroy a gate, all the horses are full of hormones and being raging lunatics, one injury requiring pony wrestling. Almost forgot that one of the trainers had a rough day with one of her horses rearing under saddle and got so frustrated that she just couldn't get the problem back under control.

Sat was a run to the feed store, stop and pick up our new water cooler, drop that off then I ran out briefly to pick up some cups for the dispenser. In the 30 mins I was gone, a horse went down with colic so I get a call while on my way back.

Horse is really sick - shots, call to the vet, ect. Pasture mate of sick pony is so freaked that he gets loose twice and goes charging thru the barn. Tyler, hon, latch the damn gate when you go in his pasture, that horse is a KNOWN barger.

Horse that tried to stampede through a person on Weds is taken out to the round pen to run off some energy and scares the crap out of owner. I am done with dangerous ponies so I get out there and run him hard - like until he's stumbling, sliding, crashing into fence hard, sweaty from ears to tail. After which he goes for a walk with owner, then I try to teach him a new skill.

That went well - once you run him silly he focuses and listens so I've now got him moving in polite circles on a line clockwise. Reversals will take some work but he's a smart boy. I had to tell his owner that at the end of Fair when Jess is back at barn if she's still scared of him then she needs to sell him. Period.

I'm involving myself at this point only because somebody is going to get severely hurt if she can't control her horse. It is not optional and if she can't develop the basic skills in a week then he's got to go to a home where he can be properly exercised and handled. I love the big guy, but he's a lot of horse and needs lots of exercise. Plus he's only five so he needs firm discipline as well.

Feed pull and more work with Flex and his owner tomorrow. I'm taking Monday off if it is humanly possible.

It bears repeating

timekpr — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 14:32:26 GMT

I won the parent lottery.

Got this email from my Dad last night:

......Mom has gotten me up to speed on the situation.....Want you to know that you have my support on whatever you plan to do....Your are welcome here...I will support your move to wherever...Don't hesitate to ask for anything.....Hugs included...Dad

I'm not sure that is an easy thing to say to your daughter when she's just announced divorce #2.

For all that they both drive me crazy sometimes, stuff like that makes it all worth it.

Used car, needs work

timekpr — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 19:59:43 GMT

On the ongoing improvement list for my truck -

Did brake pads + new rotors all four wheels today. Yes, after this I can probably do it myself if I just pick up a big c-clamp and a better socket set.

Found that I might not need a new radiator - had a bad hose.

Put a radio in it last week, my very first non-Ford stock. Its a Sony, with a USB jack for a thumbdrive of MP3's or I can plug in the iPod and control it through the faceplate. It also has a remote which seems slightly silly.

Another Day, Another Repair

timekpr — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:35:43 GMT

I haven't been posting much recently - for once it isn't due to my personal life complications. We've got 18 horses at the barn right now with #19 arriving on Apr. 1. It's a lot of work, just keeping up with the wear and tear of 15,000 lbs of animals. These days it is a full time job. I work Mon-Fri now.

Yesterday was changing all the gate latches - nice new ones that can be opened and closed with one hand replacing the old mish-mash of fasteners. Plus repairing 2 water hoses that had started to leak from kinks. Only 10 more hoses to change out and that should get us in much better shape for long term.

The new paddock is completely fenced, so my goal is to get hotwire strung by the weekend down there. Waiting on a spool of undergate wire before I can pick up the new charger and light it up. The four days I spent working on Harry's fence last week seems to have paid off - we got through the weekend without him pulling any wire down.

We've got one water spigot down by the small barn that is likely to break any day now. I've added some supports to hold it in place but a lot of the damage is already done.

Did I mention that in the midst of all that I designed and built a set of window bars for the main barn? Waiting on approval from the property owner before I can buy materials and build the other 6 sets.

Got a call at 8:30 this morning that DiGi and Lia had decided to break out and go for a stroll this morning. I'll be stopping to see my dear friends at Tractor Supply on my way to work this afternoon to get heavy duty gate latches so I can replace the one they broke as well as the one they will break if I don't change them both.

The Cost of Online Auctions

timekpr — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 02:32:56 GMT

I know we all hate it when we're looking at an item on Ebay and the shipping & handling charge seems outrageous.

It isn't.

I sold an item today for $14.00 - an 8lb box of 14 books. My shipping charge in the auction listing was $6.25. Total paid by buyer $20.25.

So...

$20.25
- 4.86 Postage (bought online at a discount)
- .16 Label (have to have this to get the postage discount)
- .89 PayPal Fees (I have a verified merchant account)
- 1.98 Ebay Fees (listing fee + final value fee)
-------
$12.36 My net

So I didn't even net the sale price. I hate it when that happens.

The cost of procrastination

timekpr — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 16:02:05 GMT

So the story starts like this - young Harry, the Arabian Stallion at the barn, pulled down a big section of electric fence on Monday. Jess did some repairs on Tuesday, but it still had to be left off until I could track down the rest of the shorts.

Weds I was hurting, I looked over the fence and couldn't find the short immediately so I thought I'd just leave it for Thurs afternoon when I'd have more time.

Thursday about 3 PM I was working on my stalls and nearly finished - when I saw Rugged (our Quarter horse lesson pony) hanging out by the barn. Went to give him a nose rub while I had some water and found a dime sized puncture in his neck. Blood everywhere.

So many phone calls (Jess, the vet's office, the vet himself), a dose of Bute for Rugged, and a trip to Walgreens later; I have my finger inside his neck packing it with medication. He's also got a large gash in his left front foot where he hooked it over the fence and pulled the top rail down. This allowed gravity to impale him on the unprotected top of the chain link.

I feel like garbage. I know it isn't exactly my fault that he picked a fight over the top of the fence, but he wouldn't have been reaching over it if the hot wire was hot. Of course if Harry hadn't tangled himself in the wire when it was hot this would have been avoided as well.

Slapped a 2x4 up to guard the chain link last night and got the hot wire working. Today I have to hit the Lowe's for fence board to get it fixed properly. Also pick up Rugged's prescription antibiotics at Walgreens. Then stick my fingers back inside his neck to change the meds. I get to hurt him every day for a few weeks all because I was hurting and slacked off.

Lesson learned.