she forgets why she came here.

lights are gonna find me

thoughtlife — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 01:00:20 GMT

Augh. I hate life.
I sit here ripping my hair out practically all the time, stressing about the fact that I'm taking a year off. The last thing that I wanted to do. Yet I still can't figure out what the hell I want to do.

University? Community College? Should I stay in province? Apply for something this year? Wait another year and just work? Should I start applying for programs now, or wait? But what if it's something I won't like? And student loans...

Why does it have to be so effin' stressful? I envy everyone who's leaving this year and figured out what they're doing, at least for now. I can't even get my head around what I'd like to do. There's so much..

Nutrition, Tourism, Business, Writing, Marketing, Journalism, Photography, Entrepreneurship...

errrrggggh. I just want to pack my life up and run away for a while, just to get away from all the decisions, all the talk of where I'm going from here. I'd die to go on a vacation somewhere, if only I had the money to do that :( There's so many degrees I'd die to take but there's no jobs available after graduation..

Somehow, I just feel like I'm bound to end up working at the theater for the rest of my life. That's how it seems. Gr.

promotion of sorts?

thoughtlife — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 02:33:58 GMT

yeah right.
i wish!

so i walked into work today and my two lovely managers met me at the door.

"jill, we need to talk to you."

aw shit. all i could think was "i didnt really do anything wrong.."

turns out, they want me to help out with some accounts payable stuff at work, dealing with invoices every thursday, doing bulk counts and CSR reports and cashing off the vending machines, kodak, etc. I'm pretty excited! I started tonight doing the invoices and it's pretty simple stuff.

unfortunately i don't get a raise, hah. but it'll give me a few more hours each week and everything makes a difference!

in other news... i really, really want a tattoo.
charlotte got one on tuesday.
sam got one on wednesday.
tiff got one today.

i would KILL for one again, if only i knew what i wanted... </3

soul turning in my sheets, and once again i cannot sleep.

thoughtlife — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 02:34:26 GMT

so here i goooo.

i actually can't sleep. shfhkjafdjklas.
drives me crazy. yeah, granted, it's only 11:30 but i'm dead exhausted still.

I actually left the house for the first time since tuesday (it's now saturday.) to take a drive into town and get my work schedule. I'm back to work on tuesday and they freaking scheduled me as closing ush, till 1 am. Isn't that pleasant? But it's ok. It's ALL good.

Then I saw Andrew for the first time since last monday to go see step brothers (hysterical movie, i would absolutely recommend it!). It was good to get out of the house, really did me good. Just sitting in bed every day for the last 4-5 days hasn't been all that much fun...

not fun at all. bored out of my mind (as evidence of this journal is... writing in it every day, even when i have nothing to write about).. yeah, i'm rambling because i'm bored.

bye.

bummer.

thoughtlife — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 20:14:10 GMT

Due to the pain in my wisdom teeth and lack of energy, turns out I'm not heading to Moncton for the Eagles after all tomorrow.

Which sucks. Because I paid 150 bucks for the effin' ticket, and I'm not even going.
ahskjklsdjfklj.

Well, to save me from boredom... I've skipped the facebook notes from today and am doing a silly TV survey type thing. After the cut?

01) Lost
02) Gossip Girl
03) Greys Anatomy
04) ER
05) SYTYCD

1. Which is your favorite series from your list?
Lost. Hands freaking down.

2. If you were to pair two characters from 1 (Lost) and 4 (ER), who would they be?
Oh god... let's see. Jack and Abby, they're both alcoholics at one point.

3. What is one thing you'd like to change about 3 (Greys)'s plotline?
Well, I slightly slacked on watching Greys last season, but SOOO wished they kept the whole "Gizzie" fiasco off the air forever.

4. If both main characters of 2 (GG) and 5 (SYTYCD) were falling off a cliff, which one would you save?
Er, well, since SYTYCD is reality and the main "character" is probably the host, Cat Deeley, I'd say I'd be more likely to go for the main character from GG.

5. Which event was the most horrible for you in 1 (Lost)?
-Oh god, like every time Kate and Jack hooked up. Fucking stupid jerks.
-Claire being kidnapped / disappeared??
-"You need to move the island"
-Charlie dying.

6. Which is your least favorite character of 2 (GG)?
FREAKING GEORGINA! cold hearted bitch. hopefully they don't bring her back in season 2. good riddance.

7. If the antagonist of 3 (Greys) were to rape the main character of 1 (Lost), what would you do?
I don't even know who you'd consider the antagonist of Greys, maybe Hahn? But Hahn raping Jack, oh god that'd be bad.

8. What song reminds you of 5 (SYTYCD)?
none

9. Of 1 (Lost), 3 (Greys), and 5 (SYTYCD), which is the easiest to think about?
well, lost just hurts the head to think about, SYTYCD is just people prancing around the stage and Greys, well, that hurts my head 10x more than lost with all the stupid stuff they stuffed into it this season. I'll say SYTYCD.

10. Are the protagonists of 2 (GG) and 4 (ER) similar?
HAHA.
doctors in a chicago hospital in contrast to upper east side snobs... i'd say not.

back back back

thoughtlife — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 19:08:39 GMT

Gee. This just feels super strange...
I haven't blogged in what feels like years and years, when in reality it's probably been less than a year. I used to do this all the time, now, I'm a bit rusty, but I'm back because I simply seem to have nothing better to do. I went through and deleted all my old posts since I started this journal (man. I was an ANGRY ANGRY kid, there were some pretty depressing posts there. holy.) for a fresh start.

I'm still trying to get used to the template tweaking, so look for it to be pretty-ed up shortly.

Life has been nothing short of hectic lately, but I'm enjoying a pleasant break since I've gotten my wisdom teeth out. Days spent lying in bed or lounging on the couch, it's great to not be running all the time and have some days to myself. Although, I really want to be able to fully brush my teeth... but I can't for a week. How gross is that? 5-7 days before even attempting to brush the back of my mouth, and my breath smells horrendous. *shudders*

I also got a new phone! Although, Aliant is full of incompetent idiots, that's for sure. Just a few weeks ago they told me that my phone was due for an upgrade by August 1st. Mom goes in yesterday to pick up the new phone and instead of paying the $50 dollars for the phone upgrade to my new phone, it comes to almost $250 dollars. WHAT THE ****, I say. Well, apparantly the dumbass who was working that told us my phone was due for an upgrade failed to look at what year... it's not due till 2009, but they upgraded anyway for a horrendous charge. Mom went ahead and bought the phone anyway much to my dismay (250 bucks... NOT the kind of money I want to be spending on a phone right now) but agreed to pay for half, thank lord. (I still have to pay for my Elton John ticket on top of that, AND my car payment for august. That's pretty much all the money I have right now)

UGH. I need a better paying job.. I had an interview at WalMart about 2 weeks ago for photo studio but barely have any sales experience so I think that's the main reason why they decided not to hire me. Whatevs, it would have been way too much of a hassle to juggle that and the theatres.