No title yet
Title: (Pending)
Pairing: P/P J/A
Chapter Rating:PG-15, will get higher
Warnings: Language
Summary: Love is a flesh eating disease wrapped in a pretty package
Disclaimer:Don't own -cries-
Previous Chapter:None
DedicationsTo everyone here at M_P
Notes:Shall Brandie continue or stop lol, you choose the fate of the fic!
Love is the most powerful delusion any human can experience. I mean, it throws people into these state of minds that they never recover from, so it has to have some control over our peace of mind, over the tiny voice that tells us not to do stupid things, right? Love starts off as something pleasant caressing your proverbial heart, but before you know it, it's gnawing at the valves and slicing open the veins. It digs its claws in to you and refuses to let go until you're left a broken, cracked shell, void of real emotions, incapable to think about anything but the person whom you thought you were in love with. Love is a flesh eating disease wrapped in a pretty package.
That’s probably why I’m sitting here in this white, starchy room, dimly lit and reeking of latex. My eyes were fighting a battle with my consciousness; I hadn’t had real sleep in a total of forty eight hours. My body ached all over from sitting in this thinly cushioned chair, and I swear my hands are going to be stuck in this position forever. I had been gripping his hand for the two straight days I’ve refused to leave this place. Hospitals scare the shit out of me, but he, and this little nagging thing called attachment, won’t allow me to leave. No matter how angry he makes me sometimes, I’ll never let him wake up alone.
It didn’t help the fact that I put him here either. It all happened so fast that I hardly recall anything that was said between us. All I do remember is that a nasty word exchange dripping in acid occurred. I think I threw the first words, burning holes of accusations. He only bit back from there. Ultimately, he ended up leaving my apartment in furious, frustrated, and aching tears. I shouldn’t have let him leave, I should have known better. It was raining, the roads are icy, and he was angry. Driving in rain in the middle of winter while you’re boiling over with anger is never safe, and I was stupid not to realize this. I still haven’t gotten totally informed about how he ran himself off the road, but whatever, I’m only thankful he’s still here.
The ass holes did inform me that he hit his head pretty badly though. They say he might be out for a good week, no more than that though. His hand is about as full of life as a stick would be; it’s not very warm either, which worried me. They keep telling me he’s fine, he’ll be alright, but what about me? How am I supposed to deal with the pain when he wakes up and doesn’t want anything to do with me? It scares me to no end, and I honestly don’t know how I’ll cope with it. Until that fateful date though, I’ll stay here, in this horrid place, hunched over his bed, holding his hand and whispering apologizes in as many different forms as I can manage.
“You’re still here?”
I sat up slightly, blinking my evident tiredness away the best I could as I glanced over my shoulder.
“I’m merely wallowing in self hate,” I mumbled to the skinny figure of Pete in his puffy, girl-fitted, and black, down coat.
He moved closer until he was standing at my side, staring down and examining the sleeping figure I held so tight to.
“How’s he doing?” He asked, taking his hands from the pockets of the coat and reaching out to touch his face.
“Well, he’s the same since the last time you were here,” I mumbled, my sleepiness taking its annoyance out on him.
He nodded, his finger’s tracing around the random spots of gauze that cluttered his features.
“Where’s Patrick?” I asked, watching his feathery fingers.
“He stayed home, he’s beat from yesterday. All that running around and chaos,” He glanced down at me in amusement, “You know him, he’s totally out of shape,” He cracked that contagious smile.
I smiled shaking my head and snorting softly.
I felt his eyes burning into me suddenly as I gazed up at him, “What?”
“What have you eaten the past couple days?” He sounded like my mom when I was in grade school and never ate my lunch…
“The nurses bring me stuff, I ate a sandwich about an hour ago,” I said, throwing my eyes to the trash can where the plastic wrap peeked out.
He nodded his approval, “Just let me know if you want anything from the outside world.”
“I could use some clean clothes,” I admitted, a shower wouldn’t hurt me either, but that would require me leaving the building.
He was quiet for a bit before I heard him suck air in, ready to speak up again, “Why don’t you come stay with me and Patrick tonight? Get a shower and clothes and whatever, then come back as early as you want.”
I shook my head, “I appreciate that, but it’s not gonna happen. If he wakes up while I’m gone, he’ll be pissed that I wasn’t here for him.”
“Didn’t you tell me that he’d be pissed if he saw you here when he woke up?” He sounded slightly confused.
“Well, yes. See he’ll be mad at me either way…” I squeezed the hand I held.
“Then what’s the point?”
“My own satisfaction, knowing that I’m doing what my own heart tells me is right to do,” I defended calmly.
“Joe, the doctors said he’s gonna be out for some time. What would it hurt to go to my place, get cleaned up, catch up on much needed sleep, borrow some of Patrick’s clothes and come back in the morning?”
He had a point. Bitch.
His place was closer to the hospital anyway; going to my apartment would mean I’d be an hour away compared to twenty minutes. I took in a slow breath as I stared at the body before me. I’d have to make up my mind. Pete was right about him most likely being out for two or more days, so it wouldn’t hurt to get clean and catch up on some sleep.
I made up my mind, “Alright,” It was only seven after all, “I’ll go with you and come back in the morning…” It was going to be hard to leave him, but he can’t always be my crutch, no matter how much I need or love him.
“Its for the better,” He smiled at me, placing his hand on my shoulder, “The sooner you get all you’re shit taken care of and fall asleep, morning will creep up so fast that it’ll feel like you never left,” he assured me.
I nodded, preparing to stand. I hadn’t gone pee in hours and the moment I stand I bet I’ll feel it…But I’ll hold it. The faster I get my sleep, the faster I can get back here, just like Pete says.
“Help me up man, my legs are shot,” I grumbled as he took my arm almost instantly.
He pulled me up and I used him as a post for a moment, stretching out my legs that made insane pops as I stood. I used the gate on the bed to steady me as Pete made it his chore to replace the chair I had been using for the past two days in the corner from wince came. He came towards me now with my jacket in his hands.
“You’ll need this, its fuckin’ cold out there,” He warned, I wanted to throw some sarcasm at him, saying something stupid like ‘That’s what you get with winter’, but I managed to hold back.
“Thanks,” I mumbled as I slipped my arms in, zipping it all the way up.
I glanced back to Andy, strange seeing the same picture over and over, no matter how much time passes you by. I leaned down, my lips connecting softly with his forehead for one moment that felt like ten thousand. It always did when I kissed him.
“I’ll be back in the morning,” I whispered, almost inaudible.
I then followed Pete to the door, my eyes glued to the still picture of Andy in the starchy white bed surrounded by his machinery. My eyes left him however when the wall soon blocked all sight of him.
I only pray that he’s still that picture when I return, my dignity depends on it.
So yeah, should I keep going or is it too blah?
PS this is an exclusive post in the FOB slash community Midnight_Party, join today ^^ lol
Pairing: P/P J/A
Chapter Rating:PG-15, will get higher
Warnings: Language
Summary: Love is a flesh eating disease wrapped in a pretty package
Disclaimer:Don't own -cries-
Previous Chapter:None
DedicationsTo everyone here at M_P
Notes:Shall Brandie continue or stop lol, you choose the fate of the fic!
Love is the most powerful delusion any human can experience. I mean, it throws people into these state of minds that they never recover from, so it has to have some control over our peace of mind, over the tiny voice that tells us not to do stupid things, right? Love starts off as something pleasant caressing your proverbial heart, but before you know it, it's gnawing at the valves and slicing open the veins. It digs its claws in to you and refuses to let go until you're left a broken, cracked shell, void of real emotions, incapable to think about anything but the person whom you thought you were in love with. Love is a flesh eating disease wrapped in a pretty package.
That’s probably why I’m sitting here in this white, starchy room, dimly lit and reeking of latex. My eyes were fighting a battle with my consciousness; I hadn’t had real sleep in a total of forty eight hours. My body ached all over from sitting in this thinly cushioned chair, and I swear my hands are going to be stuck in this position forever. I had been gripping his hand for the two straight days I’ve refused to leave this place. Hospitals scare the shit out of me, but he, and this little nagging thing called attachment, won’t allow me to leave. No matter how angry he makes me sometimes, I’ll never let him wake up alone.
It didn’t help the fact that I put him here either. It all happened so fast that I hardly recall anything that was said between us. All I do remember is that a nasty word exchange dripping in acid occurred. I think I threw the first words, burning holes of accusations. He only bit back from there. Ultimately, he ended up leaving my apartment in furious, frustrated, and aching tears. I shouldn’t have let him leave, I should have known better. It was raining, the roads are icy, and he was angry. Driving in rain in the middle of winter while you’re boiling over with anger is never safe, and I was stupid not to realize this. I still haven’t gotten totally informed about how he ran himself off the road, but whatever, I’m only thankful he’s still here.
The ass holes did inform me that he hit his head pretty badly though. They say he might be out for a good week, no more than that though. His hand is about as full of life as a stick would be; it’s not very warm either, which worried me. They keep telling me he’s fine, he’ll be alright, but what about me? How am I supposed to deal with the pain when he wakes up and doesn’t want anything to do with me? It scares me to no end, and I honestly don’t know how I’ll cope with it. Until that fateful date though, I’ll stay here, in this horrid place, hunched over his bed, holding his hand and whispering apologizes in as many different forms as I can manage.
“You’re still here?”
I sat up slightly, blinking my evident tiredness away the best I could as I glanced over my shoulder.
“I’m merely wallowing in self hate,” I mumbled to the skinny figure of Pete in his puffy, girl-fitted, and black, down coat.
He moved closer until he was standing at my side, staring down and examining the sleeping figure I held so tight to.
“How’s he doing?” He asked, taking his hands from the pockets of the coat and reaching out to touch his face.
“Well, he’s the same since the last time you were here,” I mumbled, my sleepiness taking its annoyance out on him.
He nodded, his finger’s tracing around the random spots of gauze that cluttered his features.
“Where’s Patrick?” I asked, watching his feathery fingers.
“He stayed home, he’s beat from yesterday. All that running around and chaos,” He glanced down at me in amusement, “You know him, he’s totally out of shape,” He cracked that contagious smile.
I smiled shaking my head and snorting softly.
I felt his eyes burning into me suddenly as I gazed up at him, “What?”
“What have you eaten the past couple days?” He sounded like my mom when I was in grade school and never ate my lunch…
“The nurses bring me stuff, I ate a sandwich about an hour ago,” I said, throwing my eyes to the trash can where the plastic wrap peeked out.
He nodded his approval, “Just let me know if you want anything from the outside world.”
“I could use some clean clothes,” I admitted, a shower wouldn’t hurt me either, but that would require me leaving the building.
He was quiet for a bit before I heard him suck air in, ready to speak up again, “Why don’t you come stay with me and Patrick tonight? Get a shower and clothes and whatever, then come back as early as you want.”
I shook my head, “I appreciate that, but it’s not gonna happen. If he wakes up while I’m gone, he’ll be pissed that I wasn’t here for him.”
“Didn’t you tell me that he’d be pissed if he saw you here when he woke up?” He sounded slightly confused.
“Well, yes. See he’ll be mad at me either way…” I squeezed the hand I held.
“Then what’s the point?”
“My own satisfaction, knowing that I’m doing what my own heart tells me is right to do,” I defended calmly.
“Joe, the doctors said he’s gonna be out for some time. What would it hurt to go to my place, get cleaned up, catch up on much needed sleep, borrow some of Patrick’s clothes and come back in the morning?”
He had a point. Bitch.
His place was closer to the hospital anyway; going to my apartment would mean I’d be an hour away compared to twenty minutes. I took in a slow breath as I stared at the body before me. I’d have to make up my mind. Pete was right about him most likely being out for two or more days, so it wouldn’t hurt to get clean and catch up on some sleep.
I made up my mind, “Alright,” It was only seven after all, “I’ll go with you and come back in the morning…” It was going to be hard to leave him, but he can’t always be my crutch, no matter how much I need or love him.
“Its for the better,” He smiled at me, placing his hand on my shoulder, “The sooner you get all you’re shit taken care of and fall asleep, morning will creep up so fast that it’ll feel like you never left,” he assured me.
I nodded, preparing to stand. I hadn’t gone pee in hours and the moment I stand I bet I’ll feel it…But I’ll hold it. The faster I get my sleep, the faster I can get back here, just like Pete says.
“Help me up man, my legs are shot,” I grumbled as he took my arm almost instantly.
He pulled me up and I used him as a post for a moment, stretching out my legs that made insane pops as I stood. I used the gate on the bed to steady me as Pete made it his chore to replace the chair I had been using for the past two days in the corner from wince came. He came towards me now with my jacket in his hands.
“You’ll need this, its fuckin’ cold out there,” He warned, I wanted to throw some sarcasm at him, saying something stupid like ‘That’s what you get with winter’, but I managed to hold back.
“Thanks,” I mumbled as I slipped my arms in, zipping it all the way up.
I glanced back to Andy, strange seeing the same picture over and over, no matter how much time passes you by. I leaned down, my lips connecting softly with his forehead for one moment that felt like ten thousand. It always did when I kissed him.
“I’ll be back in the morning,” I whispered, almost inaudible.
I then followed Pete to the door, my eyes glued to the still picture of Andy in the starchy white bed surrounded by his machinery. My eyes left him however when the wall soon blocked all sight of him.
I only pray that he’s still that picture when I return, my dignity depends on it.
PS this is an exclusive post in the FOB slash community Midnight_Party, join today ^^ lol