If I were making it up, it would have a plot.

The weirdest spam I ever received

therealjae — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 20:05:05 GMT

I'm going through my inbox today, clearing out old messages, and I was reminded of this old spam email I got sometime in 2007:

This is an automated response. There is not a tone for your to leave a message. There is no one to return you message. This is it.

This email address has died a nasty, tortured death. There is no point in beating it now that it's dead. Please find some other address to electronically attack, stalk, and/or send graphically offensive email's to.

If you are the owner of this email address, then you should contact the owner of this domain so that we may take you out back, and flog you mercilessly for neglecting your email. Next time, remember to feed and water it.

If you know the owner of this email account and believe you have received this message in error, then you are sadly mistaken. Don't bother this administrator

It seems like the complete opposite of those typical spam emails designed at harvesting emails, you know? Anyone else ever get this one?

Makin' another million in Margaritaville

therealjae — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 21:20:13 GMT

So, um...am I the only one who mixes up Warren Buffett and Jimmy Buffett?

*crickets*

Okay, never mind. Move along...

BAWK! It's time to rally. BAWK!

therealjae — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 20:41:38 GMT

The CBC have been disappointing me lately with their noticable lack of crazy headlines (I think they must have fired the lackey who came up with ER delays tying up Edmonton paramedics). But good things come to those who wait, apparently, because this one is a true work of art. I have been laughing for ten minutes.

Three-part question of the day

therealjae — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 17:12:12 GMT

For the non-native speakers of English, this time.

1) Have you ever heard (or read) the expression "food porn"?

2) If your answer to question #1 is yes, do you know what it means?

3) If your answer to question #2 is no, what would you guess it might mean?

Body scanners vs. pat-downs

therealjae — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 02:16:36 GMT

Okay, you know how people are up in arms about the new airport body scanners, saying that they're an infringement on both privacy and modesty? Well, I don't know about you, but I would actually prefer that strangers look at scans of my naked body than get a full-on pat-down from a stranger. I mean, I've had the latter, and if I compare the invasiveness of someone sticking their hand down my pants or patting their hands against my genitals with the invasiveness of someone seeing me naked for a few seconds--I'm sorry, there's no contest.

So far, though, whenever I've brought this up, I've been alone in this opinion. Anyone with me?

Now, THOSE are toxic emissions

therealjae — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 00:32:38 GMT

A Guardian article talking about federal government emissions.

Now, by analogy with the expressions "CO2 emissions", "greenhouse gas emissions", or "hydrocarbon emissions", that would mean...toxic substances being released into the air made up of tiny, invisible pieces of the federal government? I guess?

No heart/no brain

therealjae — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 21:32:40 GMT

Consider the following hackneyed phrase, often attributed to Winston Churchill, but it's an idea so prevalent that an approximately equivalent saying exists in all three languages of this journal:

English: If you're not a liberal at twenty you have no heart. If you're not a conservative at forty you have no brain.

Deutsch: Wer mit zwanzig nicht links ist, hat kein Herz. Wer mit vierzig es immer noch ist, hat kein Verstand.

Nederlands: Wie op zijn twintigste niet links is heeft geen hart, wie het op zijn veertigste nog steeds is heeft geen verstand.

Do you think it's true in general? Is it true for people you know? And for those of you who've already made it over the proverbial hill: is it true for you?

And finally, for those of you who notice a distinction between those who this holds true for and those who it doesn't hold true for: what do you think makes for the difference?

Pierogies, not proroguing

therealjae — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 21:29:12 GMT

Oh, my god, the pierogie thing is no longer a joke! Ha!

You know, I would totally make pierogies for the rally tomorrow if it weren't so much freaking work.

Question of the day: just for the Canadians

therealjae — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 23:44:15 GMT

Hands up if you start craving pierogies every time you pick up a newspaper these days.

Google Wave

therealjae — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 19:04:38 GMT

Are any of you folks using Google Wave? If so, what sort of things do you use it for?

It could be worse. It could be limericks.

therealjae — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:07:51 GMT

Apparently, the new President of the European Union regularly writes haikus and posts them on his typepad blog.

Does anyone else find this hilarious? (And kind of...well, cute???)

I...don't even know what to say about this.

therealjae — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 21:51:40 GMT

As I was running around town today, I listened to a podcast of the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation's October 17th edition of the Canadian political affairs programme "The House." One of the things they've been dealing with on that programme lately is the ways in which the U.S.'s protectionist "Buy American" policies have affected their largest trading partner (that would be us, natch). The story this week was about the mayor of a U.S. town (Cortland, New York) and the mayor of a Canadian town (North Bay, Ontario) who have been working together to try to get an exemption made for Canada. This was at the request of the Canadian mayor, who challenged his counterpart to think about what would happen to the U.S. if Canada were to adopt a similar policy.

So far, so good, right? But then I had to listen to the actual words the two mayors were saying, and I swear, I almost dropped my shopping bags. Here's the Canadian:

"It was really kind of meant for China, perhaps India, it was never really thought that it was meant for Canada, and while we can appreciate it, we're kind of caught in the vortex and cut out of the work."

And here's the American:

"The more you got into it, and the more I talked to Victor, it doesn't sound right. I'm sure when they came out with this Buy America thing, they didn't mean to include Canada, but they didn't say that. And they did include 'em."

And again:

"I really appreciated Victor writing the letter. I wouldn't have even known that they had spent over six million dollars in our community if in fact Victor hadn't written me the letter and then we talked on the phone."

And then there's this little gem:

"People don't really understand how big that border is between the U.S. and Canada. I mean, this affects hundreds of communities."

And the crowning glory:

"Here we've got our neighbour in Canada with an imaginary boundary that separates us (emphasis mine) doing business with us, and like I said, if it hadn't been for Victor writing me a letter and calling me, I wouldn't have even known that."

Let's ignore for a moment the mayor who has never bothered to notice that foreign countries are fuelling his town's economy, and the fact that he thinks the U.S.-Canada border is only big enough for protectionist policies to affect "hundreds of communities". Because it's the "oops, we didn't mean you" attitude that has me so floored. Are they really claiming that the U.S. Congress meant to include Canada under "Buy American", but mistakenly left us out because they are not aware that Canada is not part of the U.S.?

And...could it possibly be true?

North Carolina (State University) goes off the deep end

therealjae — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 14:56:04 GMT

Apparently, employees at North Carolina State University in Raleigh, North Carolina will soon be subjected to at-work saliva swabs (to determine whether or not they smoke) and weight/height measurements (to determine whether or not they are "too fat").

The purpose of this will be to eventually make sure that those people get denied the same level of health plan as other employees, as a penalty for either smoking or being fat. Employees will be receiving all the details of this new policy in the mail this week, but that's the jist of it.

I heard about this from a friend who works as a professor at that university (and is worried about how this is going to affect her personally). I googled around a bit, but as far as I can tell, this hasn't been in the news at all.

Discrimination always gets me ornery, but it really pushes me over into outrage when it runs completely counter to any semblance of scientific fact.

The scientific research on fitness and fatness has been varied and multifaceted, but in a nutshell, it pretty much all points to the fact that there is no inherent relationship between fatness and poor health. This information is out there for anyone who wants to read it (including administrators and policymakers at North Carolina State University, hint hint). Most of it is found in medical journals, but here are some readily accessible books on the topic, if you want to check it out yourself:

Big Fat Lies: The Truth About Your Weight and Your Health, by obesity researcher and exercise physiologist Dr. Glenn Gaesser
Just the Weigh You Are: How to Be Fit and Healthy, Whatever Your Size, by journalist Linda Konner and physician Dr. Steven Jonas
The Obesity Myth: Why America's Obsession with Weight is Hazardous to Your Health, by attorney Paul Campos

(I haven't read anything detailed on this topic in a couple of years, so additional sources are very much welcome, including and especially online ones.)

More information about the policy can be found at the North Carolina State Health Care Plan website under the link to their September 14th mail-out, or in this .pdf (details about the dates of implementation). But here is the general information I recieved from my friend:

All employees will have to go to a "70/30 plan" starting sometime in 2010. During the first year of implementation, you can move onto the "80/20" plan if you sign a waiver that you don't smoke. In 2011, the 'overweight' clause kicks in and you have indicate weight/height in predetemined ranges to remain on the "80/20" plan.

If a single member of an insured household is overweight or smokes, the entire family is penalized and will only have access to a "70/30" plan.

'Compliance' testing for smoking and weight will occur in the workplace.

This was all decided in secret, without asking employees for their input or giving them a chance to voice their opinions.

Perhaps we could help signal-boost this a little, so that the policy can get the attention and criticism it deserves?

[Edited to add: Discussion in the comments, as well as a private email from my friend, clarifies that this new policy is not an NCSU initiative, but a State of North Carolina initiative. It was signed into law by the governor, so expressing one's outrage to NCSU might not be the best way to actually get criticism of the policy heard. The words "State University" have been put into parentheses in the title, to help clarify this.

Of course, this also means that it's not just North Carolina State University employees who are affected by this, but all employees, even indirect, of the State of North Carolina. So the consequences are even further-reaching.

Sorry about the misunderstanding--although I was born in the U.S., I've lived in Canada for most of my adult life, and I admit I find U.S. health care completely baffling.]

The point of no return?

therealjae — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 14:24:09 GMT

I was listening to a Dutch news podcast this morning, and there was a segment where a couple of experts were analyzing the results of the recent elections in Afghanistan. And they all agreed that even if it turns out that current president Karzai and his party have won more than 50% of the vote, he should do his best to form a coalition government with his major competitor anyway. Because 54% would make for a very weak majority, and it would promote stability if the government were made up of representatives who had been voted in by an overwhelming majority of the people.

It just made me want to cry, people. God.

Maybe we can have Dutch experts sent to Canada to analyze our political situation and give us advice on how to promote stability?

View Poll: Canadians and Canada experts only please!

OH CANADA NO!

therealjae — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 04:55:21 GMT

My adopted country has done some pretty dumb things in the years I've lived here, but this has got to be the dumbest. Apparently, the Canadian military has had the bright idea to stage a mock Taliban attack in Washington. To "garner attention for the often overlooked Canadian combat effort."

Handwaving away the utter insanity of staging a mock war in the capital city of a jumpy, traumatized country, I do have one question--since when has it become Canada's job to spend Canadian taxpayer dollars to educate Americans?

I mean, yes, it can be annoying that Americans don't know Canada is fighting in Afghanistan. But Americans also think that Canada is talking old people into assisted suicide and letting one in five citizens die on health care waiting lists, too. And as far as I know, nobody's setting up mock clinics in the streets of Washington to correct those misconceptions.

I'm going to sleep now. Somebody reassure me that when I wake up, the world will look a little less stupid?

Question of the day

therealjae — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 20:53:26 GMT

For most of 2009, I've had the strong impression that there are fewer good conversations to be found on livejournal than there used to be. Is that your impression as well? And if it is, what do you attribute that to?

Public service announcement: State of Play

therealjae — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 22:52:53 GMT

It occurs to me that I've never mentioned this here, mostly because I was too busy getting ready to leave the country for a long time when we watched it. But back in May, I saw "State of Play" (the UK television miniseries that came out in 2003, not the U.S. knockoff big-screen film). And it is quite seriously the best story I've seen or read in a long, long time.

The writing is taut and funny and smart, the story is so gripping that it will run you over like a train, and EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER is FASCINATING. Even the throwaway ones. It's about politics and journalism and human relationships, so it's made for me in a way it won't be for everyone, but it's so good that even if you don't normally go for that sort of thing, you will want to give it a try. It's very definitely the best thing (teevee, film, book) I've ever seen out of the UK, and it's right up there on my "best-of ANYTHING, EVER" list. It really just doesn't get any better than this.

I should mention that I also watched the first two seasons of "Mad Men" at around the same time, and they are also brilliant. I can't wait for season three. But if you have to watch one or the other, please watch "State of Play" instead. In fact, if you have to choose between watching "State of Play" and watching anything else, WATCH STATE OF PLAY, DAMMIT. Run, don't walk to your video store. You won't regret it.

Um, wow.

therealjae — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 19:09:29 GMT

This video is in Dutch, but it doesn't really matter--watch it anyway. This is actual footage of the South Korean parliament earlier today:

I still think Canada's parliament is pretty bad in terms of the lack of civility, but I suppose it could be worse.

What did YOU learn on facebook yesterday?

therealjae — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 14:46:31 GMT

You know, I've been amused by the way the internet changes our language use for some time now. New nouns get created to describe the new things we're doing, old verbs take on new meanings, that sort of thing. But "I accidentally hid one of my friends--how do I get them back?" may very well be my favourite sentence uttered on the internet ever.

IPhone apps

therealjae — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 15:07:34 GMT

For fellow iPhone users (I am a recent convert): which "apps" can you simply not live without?

Cruising signs

therealjae — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 13:55:43 GMT

There are a lot of things competing for the thing I love most about the Netherlands. The bicycle paths, for one. And the fact that they speak Dutch, which might just be the coolest language ever, and then there are the stroopwafels, which are right up there, too.

But possibly the very coolest thing is the fact that in their politics, they out-pragmatic even the Canadians. This means that the vast majority of the time, Dutch policies aren't built on the government-flavour-of-the-week's ideologies, but on what has been shown to work to solve a particular societal problem. This tendency is summed up nicely in this wikipedia article about Dutch drug policy: Most policymakers in the Netherlands believe that if a problem has proved to be unsolvable, it is better to try controlling it instead of continuing to enforce laws with mixed results. In other words, if enforcing a law doesn't produce concrete, demonstrable results, you try other things instead. What a concept.

Anyway, the latest example of this (which made me laugh out loud before 7 this morning), is the decision by a city political ward within Amsterdam to, rather than arresting crusing gay men, instead put up official signs that direct them where to go. Although it should be said that the signs aren't just for that (because after all, that would be too limited a use of taxpayer money and government effort!). The same signs contain pointers on how to get to beaches, playgrounds, and the dogpark, of course.

I want to see a picture.

[Update: There's a picture in the comments!]

Want!!!

therealjae — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 18:09:52 GMT

Just the other day, I was thinking about how much it would rock if they had built a device that would generate electricity while you ride your bike so that you could charge your GPS or cell phone on the road. So on a whim, I just googled a few keywords, and it turns out that it freaking exists: the Ikon Global Pedal and Power.

I love the internet THIS MUCH.

[Update: Well, the bad news is that apparently this particular product has been discontinued. Woe! But this one looks like it could have the same benefits without the drag on my speed. The downside is that you either seem to be charging the product or powering an external device, not both, but I can live with that. A mini wind turbine and solar power in one affordable device! I bought it.]

Funny, funny Alan Keyes

therealjae — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 18:43:14 GMT

Okay, if someone had referred to U.S. politician-wannabee Alan Keyes as a right-wing nutbar before I saw this video, I wouldn't have blinked, but I never realized that he was literally insane.

I mean, the part about Obama not really being President is great, but as far as I'm concerned, the real gem is right at the beginning: "Obama is a radical Communist. That's what I told people in Illinois, and now everybody realizes it's true. He's going to destroy this country. We're either going to stop him, or the United States of America is going to cease to exist."

*shakes head*

Also? I want to know where the Canadian versions of this guy are. All of our right-wing nutbars are just infuriating, not ridiculous. It hardly seems fair.

Twitter

therealjae — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 14:51:00 GMT

To me, twitter seems like an endless string of facebook status updates, without the rest of the trappings of facebook and without the privacy. But I've seen lots of people say (for example) that twitter is the Next Big Thing in political organizing, and that makes me go: "huh??? how???" and realize that there must be things about it that I just don't get.

I mean, I think it's unlikely that I will ever be interested in letting complete strangers in on what I'm doing at any given moment. But I'd like to at least be able to wrap my mind around what other people get out of it (those who actually actually use twitter, that is, not just those who use it to follow other people but never update themselves, which I do understand the fun of). What am I missing? Edumacate me.

Trilingual/dreisprachig/drietalig

therealjae — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 01:42:41 GMT

I've just added a new section to my livejournal policies (and for good measure, I added it to my profile as well). It reads:

languages

Warning: this livejournal is trilingual.
Achtung: dieses Livejournal ist dreisprachig.
Let op: dit livejournal is drietalig.

Not that this wasn't already obvious, I'm sure, but I've added a couple of new friends lately, and I figured it couldn't hurt to spell out that the use of all three languages in this space is officially sanctioned by yours truly. (You can feel free to use other, non-officially-sanctioned languages, too, but be prepared to not get a response!)