Devastation
I have had a massive psychotic breakdown this summer.
I had been on the antidepressant Sertraline. 100mg a day. I thought I was fine. However, Sertraline can cause psychosis in some people and it caused psychosis in me. First the voice in my head came back. “I can deal with this” I confidently thought. “I will use my psychological techniques to help me have a better relationship with the voice and stay out of problematic and fraught conversations. I will only tolerate a non abusive relationship with the voice.”
The problem became my deluded thinking, however, and I became convinced that I needed to jump in my car and start a new life in the next county. Before long I had committed a driving offence while high and deluded and drove in the wrong direction on a slip road. This led to a conviction for dangerous driving, 6 weeks in prison and then 4 weeks in psychiatric hospital and a diagnosis of Bipolar 1 with psychosis. And a 12 month driving ban. I’m sure that there might be some silver linings to dredge for in the disaster of this year but forgive me if I am unable to find them just right away.
Oh my, I had been worried about you. How are you recovering? Praying for peace and wellness.
Thank you for sharing this. It's a helpful reminder, but I'm so sorry you're going through it. I'm glad you got a diagnosis that makes sense to you and will hopefully lead to better treatment. I also had an encounter with psychosis this summer. Luckily, it was brief, but I'm taking more meds now than I was before, which I hate. At the same time, there was nothing pleasant that happened during this little bout, so I feel pretty willing at the moment to do what I have to do. And another similarity - I'm also not able to drive, although for a medical reason. I'm three months in, and to be honest, it can be really frustrating and limiting. But I'm walking and biking more, using transit, and finding a lot of it enjoyable. The bad news is... winter. We'll figure it out! I hope that you have good support and resources as you make your way through this. Message me anytime. 💚