Better Never to Have Been?
This post, “I wish my mother had aborted me,” popped up in the Shakesville part of my feed reader the other day. I’m sure it’ll be making the usual rounds. I’m sure it’ll upset a lot of people, including some people who are down with abortion rights and choosing our choices and all that. It’s an important piece, not because this is the first (or second, or thousandth) time someone has argued the position Beisner is arguing, but because of where it’s posted. The Guardian is a major paper that, despite what people who don’t know what they’re talking about might say, isn’t actually an arm of the loony-left Communo-Nazi bleeding-heart-fascist nanny-gestapo. The people who read this article, however their opinion of it turns out, will at least be faced with a similar anecdotal emotional appeal to what Beisner describes. I wonder how many of them would tell the author to her actual analogue-world face that her life and her mother’s hardship are all Worth It because of… something or other they’ve decided is the objective measure of life’s worth.
In a similar vein, there is also David Benatar’s book, Better Never to Have Been: the Harm of Coming into Existence. I haven’t read it yet, so I can’t comment on any specific arguments he makes in it, but the general theme is pretty clear from the title. Basically, since we know that suffering is unavoidable for all living things, the ethical decision is to avoid bringing more beings into the universe. Living things that don’t exist can’t possibly know if they’re missing out on anything, so nonexistence does them zero harm. Here is an interview Benatar did with Redi Direko of Radio 702 / Cape Talk. Everyone who’s thinking about having kids should have a serious chat with themselves about the possible outcomes for their individual child as well as the long-term/far-reaching ramifications of more people in the world–particularly when those children require sucking more resources into the centers of capitalism/Global North. But that’s all a can of worms for another day.
Anyway, in solidarity with Beisner, I’m going on record as someone who caused unforeseen hardship to her parents that, by many measures, would be considered a net loss for all of us, and that could’ve been avoided by choosing abortion.
And just think, no one would have to read my posts! A win for abortion rights and a win for the furious tears of privileged gasbags everywhere!
“Accept the Consequences”
This month has been a bit offline-busy for me and next month is going to be even busier, so my pretendpost today is a quote taken from More Left Than Thou’s “On the Libyan Conflict” that’s been sitting on my desktop waiting for me to write something about it for fully eleven months now:
The next big propaganda push came in 1986 with the disco bombing in Berlin that killed 2 US soldiers and one civilian. The US was so convinced that Qadaffi had orchestrated the attack that a mere 10 days after the bombing Reagan ordered the bombing of Libya in which 45 soldiers and 15 civilians where killed including Qadaffi’s 16 month old daughter. 158 medals where [sic] awarded for the bombing campaign. Responding to the report of Libyan civilian deaths, a Reagan official stated that as long as the Libyan people follow Qadaffi they must “accept the consequences”. [The quotation comes from page 281 of William Blum’s Killing Hope. That page can give more context for the quote, but unfortunately page 282 can’t be previewed.]
I’m reminded of that time when Ron Paul said “they attacked us because we’ve been over there … we need to look at what we do from the perspective of what would happen if somebody else did it to us” [1:30 mark] and people reacted as if he had just whipped out his dick and pissed on reincarnated Jesus in front of god and everyone. He’s a racist and his beliefs are bad and most of his politics are bad, but nobody could handle entertaining a reasonable connection between two or three historical dots for two or three fucking seconds. Consequences are for brown people, hello!
Accept the consequences. US hypocrisy and exceptionalism never cease to be fucking gross and infuriating.
Dear Evopsych, Get Out
So I was on the internet when I fell into “This ev-psych bullshit must stop” on Reclusive Leftist and it crystallized a contradiction that was hanging out in my brain.
Where it overlaps, there seems to be a fundamental clash between dudely love of evopsych and dudely belief in meritocracy. How is it that they can feel good about their accomplishments when nature has basically handed them all the characteristics necessary for success and denied some amount of these characteristics to others? What must it say about them if an inferior being surpasses them and there’s no way to blame it on some sort of affirmative action? Maybe this dissonance is one reason why they can get so crabby.
Anyway, my main problem with evopsych, other than all the wrongity-wrong rampant supremacist and bigot bullshit, of course, is that so many evopsych proponents waste other people’s time by steamrolling in where they aren’t wanted and insisting that humans can’t change. Most don’t acknowledge that it may never be possible to distinguish nature from nurture. The few who do acknowledge this have little interest in entertaining a social experiment starting from the assumption that most things come down to nurture, even though we’ve gone with the assumption of nature for a few millennia now and the results have been pretty shit overall. Such evopsych proponents may be scientists, but they are mired in reactionary ideology and aren’t interested in the spirit of science. They don’t want to consider the work done in fields that are ‘softer’ than theirs (and you could stuff a million pillows with their unfalsifiable fluff). They don’t want society to change in ways that would upset the order they believe in and benefit from. They want to stand in the way of actual progress because it seems to confuse and infuriate them. They want us to give up.
This is all an unnecessarily longwinded way of saying that evopsych proponents who use their silly theories to oppose social justice and radical ideas are, at best, a hideous waste of time that won’t be finding any welcome mats here. Cheers and good luck to those of y’all who have more patience with them than I do.
[Updated 19 May]
This piece by John Scalzi has been making the rounds on various blogs I read (as pieces by straight white men doing ally work often do quite easily). I like the piece. I’m skeptical that it’s going to reach the brains of the audience it’s speaking to, of course, but that isn’t Scalzi’s fault.
It’s not his post I want to talk about, though. It’s the comments. Yeah, for once, I went there. The majority of them so far as I’ve read are generally in agreement with the post. But there is an annoying trend I commented on at Fannie’s post that I’d like to briefly expand upon here.
Basically what happened was, someone or a few someones agreed with the premise of the post, but asked what they’re supposed to do about/with their straight-white-man* privilege. A few different someones answered with a variety of simple, personal, public, and more complex long-term suggestions (which I’ll get into below). After these suggestions were posted, a bunch of other people–and perhaps some of the same from the first batch; I can’t be assed to look–carefully read, thought about, and considered these suggestions… lol. No they didn’t. They completely ignored them in favor of pleading, again, for what they’re supposed to do, because they so dearly and desperately want to make the world better, can’t you see?
Well. I call bullshit on the give-a-fuck level of anyone who asks for tips and then completely ignores them. Y’all know who you are. This post isn’t for you to wail at your computer screen or into the dark of night about whatever excuses you’ve made up to not listen. This post is going to list a few general suggestions I would recommend for people asking in good faith. It isn’t an exhaustive list at all, and folks are free to add or critique the points made. I just want to put it out there so that time doesn’t have to be wasted reiterating these points, and because the points should be harder to miss/ignore when they’re what the post is about. Hopefully.
On a personal level:
- Don’t use marginalizing language and behavior, ever. Consider owning up and not freaking out if someone else calls you on some bullshit you said. Then don’t do it again. (Working on this is a bare minimum requirement if you want to be an ally, in my opinion.)
- Call out people who use marginalizing language, whenever possible. At the very least, don’t go along with it. Consider not being friends with people who won’t cut it the fuck out.
- Never expect marginalized people to do all the social justice work. For example, a cisgender ally should struggle against the transphobic acts of other cis* people instead of waiting for a trans* person to do it. This expectant waiting happens more often than you know.
- Minimize subjecting other people to entertainment media that’s hostile toward them (such as: cut the virulently misogynistic music from the stereo when carpooling).
- Understand that it isn’t your place to lecture someone about internalized bigotry they’re struggling with, especially if you don’t share it.
- Don’t ‘splain The Issues to people who are part of the group you’re not in. Put on your listening ears and resist all temptation to take them off. Your inherited traits don’t make you the Objective Arbiter of Reality, and really, neither does your education or hard work.
- Remember that not everything is about you. But if something is about you, believe that the shittiness of being called out can’t compare to the shittiness of being marginalized.
- Cut marginalized people some slack sometimes. Your Chicana friend’s other job as Unelected Representative of All Latin Americans is stressful and she’s probably exhausted from being slapped upside the head with microaggressions day in and out, too.
- Read up. Keep up to date on what the issues are and what people in marginalized groups are saying about them. This can tell you what your role should be in specific organizations, and how to make them more welcoming and non-tokenizing for marginalized folks.
- Agitate. Bring up social justice issues wherever there’s a forum for it (political events, school, online spaces, etc.). Don’t let others forget or ignore the issues. Don’t assume that everything is perfect in your lefty group just because it’s leftish. It isn’t perfect.
- Petition/vote for the best possible representatives and policies, if voting matters at all in your specific situation (you lucky duck, you). And don’t just vote for the lesser of two complete shits.
- Minimize your consumption of media that trades on bigotry, especially if you’re going to pay for it. (Maybe you don’t really need to play Duke Nukem Forever after all.) Let the creators of said media hear what’s wrong with it on the various public channels most of them have open. Be persistent. People will try to shut you down.
- If you produce your own media, use it as a platform to address these issues.
- Give time or money, if you have it, to those who can make the most of it. Escort women into clinics. Translate for refugees and immigrants. Basically, figure out which issues you would most like to get involved with and research how you can best serve them with your particular credentials and status in life.
- Start your own silly blog to teach other privileged people! It’s fun and free!
Follow one suggestion. Follow all of them. Whatever you do, do the best you can with the resources you have, and be honest about what your best effort is. Also, there is this post I wrote last year with a bunch of links to get clicky on. Because I’m hardly the first person to write this sort of post and I’m unfortunately not going to be the last.
[*With all relevant caveats in place regarding the centering of experiences in white-dominated imperial/former colonial states, and how the internet often acts as an extension of that imperialist dynamic. Scalzi and I are both from the US and thus write from that perspective.]
What I’m Eating
I hate cooking. I hate preparing food at all. The lazier it is, the better. But I’m willing to put in a little effort if it’s nerdy enough.
Case in point: Vegan Yum-Yum’s Hasperat–a Star-Trek-themed food that isn’t even a pain in the ass to make. I do a couple of things slightly differently. While the cucumber and carrots are hanging out in the sauce, I cover one side of the tortilla in hummus and heat it in a pan for a minute or two. Instead of hot sauce and black pepper, I put a line of wasabi paste down the center of the tortilla. I always put on enough wasabi to melt my whole face. This is not necessarily on purpose. Sometimes I’ll microwave the cucumber and carrots for a few seconds. I pack the tortilla like a burrito and then sort of flatten it rather than folding it because of what happened the first time I made it. This would probably taste just as good served cold, but then it wouldn’t be authentic (lol) hasperat.
Overall, it’s a little messy and sometimes I don’t want to take 10-15 minutes to prepare anything (food-lazy… seriously), but it tastes good and is cheap enough that I’ll probably make it a semi-regular lunchy thing. In other words,
(Image: Quark licking the New Rules of Acquisition in order to discover its secrets)
This Fucking Planet: Bei Bei Shuai
In keeping with my personal tradition of being on hiatus forever and maybe posting links once in a while instead of actually writing, here are links.
Bei Bei Shuai, who was charged with murder after attempting suicide while pregnant, has now been in prison for a full year and may be facing a life sentence. I won’t get into the details of the story as I’m no law expert and it can be read about elsewhere, but there are a number of issues at play here. There is, of course, the ongoing war on women–particularly the effort to outlaw our ownership of our own bodies, which seems to be getting worse every time I look at the internet. (Don’t miss the paragraph at the first link that mentions charging pregnant women with “giving ‘drugs’ to ‘minors'” for taking OTC headache medicine.) There is the fact that Bei Bei Shuai is an immigrant woman of color living in a society that codes people of color and immigrants (most post-colonial, post-indigenous-genocide immigrants, anyway) as automatically suspect. There is this society’s massive ignorance about mental illness and unconscionable treatment of people suffering with it. (I can’t recall ever having seen an accurate assessment or portrayal of suicidal depression by someone who has never had it, but people with no lived experience and poor investigation at best are often the ones who decide how to punish others “when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain.”) There are probably a dozen other issues involved in this society’s horrifying treatment of Bei Bei Shuai that people familiar with the case could easily point out.
Of course I hope that she’s freed, that all charges against her are dropped, that she gets any help she needs if she wants it. This individual’s life is absolutely important. But hers is also one among millions of lives facing ruin because this society loathes women’s autonomy, and particularly loathes women who have the audacity to make decisions and do things while not-healthy, not-white, and not-rich. As all of us who work toward social justice know, there’s more to freeing Bei Bei Shuai and people like her than letting them out of prison.
What I’m Reading
Yeah, another link-and-run because I still can’t summon the spoons to write after that whole best friend being killed last month thing.
Behold, the Survivors Connect Network, which features posts written by exited women about their experiences in prostitution and their analyses of the cultures that allow this global humanitarian crisis to flourish. If you can read what they’ve written and still think prostitution is acceptable, please stop living on this planet.
(Not that we get a whole lot of comments anyway, but if for some reason it isn’t obvious, sex-commodification-industry-positive comments are unlikely to see the light of day here. So don’t bother leaving them. The dull thud of an iron fist clicking ‘Publish’ echoes in the distance.)
retroactive notice of blogular hiatus
I should have posted this up several days ago, but whatever. I hurt my back, and I’m extremely frustrated with politics right now, so both of those together mean I’m not post for awhile. Not that it matters, no one reads this shit anyway.
holy crap it’s friday
oh my gracious is it that time already? Play us out, Gil…
youtube videos in lieu of anything requiring effort
It’s Thursday which is a boring day, work is killing me, and unfortunate events are afoot. In light of this I’ll simply present two videos from my youtube Favorites list.
The first is a good speech by some lawyer fella and a cop, who both agree that you should never, ever, ever talk to the police. The second is a cat making an angry face at a cardboard box.
Public Service Announcement
Yesterday I lost one of the best friends I’ve ever had. I’m not going to say anything about him because it’s all too personal and could never do him justice. I just want to say, please, don’t text and drive. Ever. Just don’t fucking do it. Or drive tired if you can do anything to avoid it. (I don’t know exactly what happened. I just know that he’s gone.)
I hate goodbyes, but if there’s ever a time for them, it’s times like this. Goodbye, Benjamin. You’ll be missed like you wouldn’t believe.
(I want to thank irateadri at Angry Marxists and JMP at M-L-M Mayhem! for writing proper posts that I just don’t have the strength to attempt, myself.)
wherein I’m lazy as heck…
…so I just link to someone saying things that I’d like to say, and way better than I would, anyhow.
http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2012/01/15/fairy-tale-sunday/
I don’t want to spoil the ending, but it turns out that the Patriarchy totally sucks.
movie review: Source Code
Just watched this movie, it was ok but they forgot the parts where:
1) It was not a complete mash-up of 12 Monkeys (awesome) and Deja Vu (total shit)
2) Instead of an awesome Soldier (who loves him Daddy) saving the day and thwarting a terrorist attack ON US SOIL, the Soldier is actually the one committing terrorist attacks on Afghan civilians and pissing on their dead corpses.
If they had just left those parts in it would have been a lot better. Oh, what am I saying, it still would have been awful.
These two images were close to each other on a GIS for the movie title. Felt appropriate somehow.
International Week in Support of the People’s War in India
the decline of the american empire.jpg
And I beheld when he had opened the sixth seal, and, lo, there was a great earthquake; and the sun became black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon became as blood…
The Fivefold Path 