The Conscious Process

There is a certain meme floating around in the collective, suggesting that guilt is a kind of positive influence, as opposed to shame, for example, which is portrayed as negative. The sense of taking personal responsibility for an offense, and the accompanying feelings of remorse, are considered to be the beneficial and desired outcome of the assumption of guilt. Judges in the penal system, for example, look to see if the criminal has accepted a sense of personal guilt for their crimes, and exhibits the necessary regret required to be returned to society after serving their sentence.

However, I would offer that there is a difference between recognizing unskillful behaviors, and granting reality to a self-image in the form of some self-imposed blame, which is my understanding of the concept of guilt. It may seem a matter of semantics, but no matter how we slice it, psychological guilt still amounts to a fixation of identity. In other words, a target must be present for guilt to land, but if there is no target, nothing can be attributed to it — positive, negative, or neutral.

A “guilty conscience” requires an owner. By projecting a sense of solid and enduring self, we then have a narrative story, the story of “me”. “I have sinned, I am guilty, I must change, I must improve my-self, I must become liberated, redeemed, saved, etc, etc . . .” Consequently, a war with oneself has been justified, and yet, it is a war which can never be won, despite the fervent aspirations of neurotic self-mortifiers down through the ages.

Alternately, if instead of perpetuating the ambivalent story of the “me project”, we begin to seriously question the whole premise of the story itself, then we may eventually find that it is fundamentally empty at the core — a bundle of thoughts and memories with no basis for the establishment of an actual guilty “person”. Indeed, we may discover that all of our fuss and bother, all of our self-concern and busy efforts to modify, blame, forgive, and perfect ourselves, has been based on a case of mistaken identity. The direct recognition of the emptiness of the personal self is a great relief, liberating us from the endless “me-project” that has so occupied our life and infected our relations with its insistent demands for confirmation and feeding, praise and blame.

Such a direct recognition will typically have a profound effect on behavior, by greatly loosening the contraction in the being centered around any identity fixation. If we stop and inspect the sensation that arises in the body with the experience of guilt, we can recognize immediately that its influence is contracting. Alternately, we can experience a sense of liberating expansion with the release of guilt — a genuine relief and even an immediate renewed availability to life and love.

Of course, the religionists may fear that such a recognition — the emptiness of the imagined self — would create an amoral personality, a sociopath in other words, and indeed there is the possibility of aberration if one stops and clings to just half of the equation: “Form is empty”. One may indeed fall into a kind of imbalance. It is rare, but it has happened. Witness, for example, the kinds of atrocities sanctioned by certain Japanese Zen Masters, as documented in the book “Zen At War”, by Brian Victoria.

However, for those who also are able to realize the other half of the equation — that “emptiness is also form” — a higher synthesis will then pertain in which spontaneous compassion is born, and “doing the right thing” is not a matter of fulfilling some man-made dictum, but simply a natural result of the liberation that comes with recognition. Whatever is in need of change in life and relations will happen spontaneously, without the superimposition of a make-believe doer to complicate life’s flowing functioning.

Indeed, it is only by seeing through and surrendering all of our previous identifications with the body-mind-self (as well as its need for validation, preservation, and perpetual enhancement) that we are finally able to relinquish the internal war with ourselves and be changed by the universal intelligence which is our true nature, love itself.

“One of your biggest misdirected energy focuses in physical life is self-judgement and guilt. Guilt, while it has its uses, is a very destructive energy which seeds deeply into the soul. Instead allow yourself the love, compassion and freedom to make mistakes; to be imperfect; to do bad things which later illuminate who you truly desire to be. You are a child of the universe, allow yourself to be one.”

~Sparrow

“The person, the ‘I am this body, this mind, this chain of memories, this bundle of desires and fears’ disappears, but something you may call identity, remains. It enables me to become a person when required. Love creates its own necessities, even of becoming a person.”

~Nisargadatta Maharaj

These days, it appears that there are some nondual-type teachers who claim that the “self” is merely a thought creation, a dream illusion, unreal. However, that’s actually only a fraction of it — like standing in the parlor and imagining one is seeing the whole house. Stopping there and fixating in that position would be a most premature conclusion, a perceptual error in recognition and appreciation.

In reality, the “self-sense” is an expression of something much more than a mechanical assemblage of mental events transpiring in the brain, and those who tend to conceptually write it off as that are missing its real purpose. In that regard, let’s explore the issue a bit further (elaborating on the consideration begun in the essays “The Ego Is My Friend”, and “Self-Realization”).

There is an apparent tendency of many aspirants to get fixated in concepts about emptiness. It’s true that form is empty, but if one stops there, they miss the other half of the revealed wisdom in the Buddha’s equation, and that is, emptiness is also form. For a number of reasons, clinging to the notion of the emptiness of the self or ego is even worse than clinging to its form, primarily because it paralyzes the natural functioning of the human-soul fusion. Seeing through the substantiality of the self is merely a preliminary recognition. If one follows through with the inquiry, the “self” then returns, or is revealed as, a skillful servant, rather than a tyrannical master, so to speak.

Essentially, the sense of self is a unique and ingenious “space suit” that Spirit employs to navigate and thus enjoy the human experience, and so is absolutely necessary for life and relationships. We came here specifically to enjoy the experience of manifest 3-D human existence, and all the lessons and recognitions about what we truly are (and are not) that come with the “package”, and so attempting to eliminate the very vehicle by which we would do so is functionally counter-productive.

Indeed, such efforts mainly serve to prolong an inner conflict, the war with oneself. The human-based religious fantasies of original sin, perpetual guilt, and body shaming which have plagued mankind for ages are always spawned from that false internal division, as are the sometimes bizarre lengths to which aspirants of those persuasions have gone to alleviate their own self-created dilemmas.

All that is really necessary is to understand that the “self” is not really who we are, any more than we are the automobile we drive to get from one geographical location to another. With that recognition, we are then free to create with it like a paint brush on the canvas of experience, appreciating it for what it is in the context of the play of consciousness itself.

As mentioned, there are numerous nondual teachers who focus on no-self, but the result of that emphasis often leads to an imbalanced view and conduct. It is not really comprehensive to claim that there is either absolutely no self, any more than it is to say that there is actually an independent and enduring self. It is far more nuanced than that, and additionally a lot more fun to experience the whole matter as part of the vast and glorious mystery of our appearance (as opposed to some dry and dusty dogma). The Two Truths Principle is helpful in this case. That is, on a relative level there IS a person, though on an absolute level, there IS NOT. Both are true on different levels, and being able to fully appreciate the paradox of that is what maturing in awakening is all about.

When we put on our clothes, for example, those clothes are not who we are, but they are not just a daydream either — they serve a very necessary purpose if we want to be able to get around in the world, and that is what needs to be recognized in regard to the self-sense — it is the vehicle by which Spirit operates and explores in the 3-D realm of materiality, and so it can’t just be brushed off as a delusion or daydream.

No-self-type teachings frequently become appealing intellectual positions, and consequently end up being impediments, rather than liberating, because there is not a direct experience of the reality itself, but merely the (distorted) experience of the concept. One reason for this error is that such teachings are typically encountered prematurely, without a prior foundation of spiritual practice having been established to anchor the aspirant in humility, wisdom, integrity, and compassion. In that regard, the Persian poet Rumi made an astute observation: “If you are eager to be nothing before you know who you are, you rob yourself of your true being.”

Traditionally, for example, the advanced principles of Advaita Vedanta were taught to initiates only after they completed some years of yogic endeavor, and were then deemed ripe enough, and prepared enough, to handle the implications of those teachings in an appropriate manner. For that reason, it was considered the crown jewel of the wisdom teachings — in other words, the final or ultimate teaching. The same might be said about Dzogchen, or Ati Yoga.

These days, people can find the “secret teachings” on the internet, or at a half-baked guru’s “satsang”, and end up confusing themselves for a long time as a result, especially if they are mixed in with other spiritual supermarket acquisitions. It can often be quite difficult to awaken such individuals from the smug trance of misplaced certainty which accompanies fixation at the conceptual level with emptiness and no-self positions.

Likewise, the materialist assertion that Spirit is some sort of brain epiphenomena would be tantamount to believing that the radio announcer is a little man inside the radio. Spirit is not a brain figment, but unless one has the liberating experience and consequent recognition granted via expanded consciousness, they may continue in the conceptual belief that it is so, short of the big surprise they get when the body (with its brain) drops away.

In any case, the Self, Source, Pure Presence, All That Is, the Divine — whatever name humans apply — is manifesting Itself as all beings, in order to experience Itself through an infinite number of eyes. This is the Great Delight of the Infinite, though incomprehensible to the limited human intellect’s processing capacity. All selves are shards or extensions of Source in that respect, and all return to Self.

There is a valid recognition that, at the ultimate level, nothing happens. That is not really our concern while we are here, appearing and engaged in this realm or vibrational frequency, however. Rather, our job here is to directly realize that love is all that matters, and then to embody the implications of that recognition in our conduct and relationships. In the end, none of our fine notions about emptiness, the self/no-self paradox, and the fate of our daydreams will survive. Only Love is real, and that is the “lesson” we must come to real-ize in this human incarnation. The rest will unfold naturally.

From that perspective, the “self” is merely a prop in Love’s Play, and not some delusion that must be vanquished or made to disappear, but only rightly understood. For the best theatrical production, the actor on the stage must play their role to the best of their ability, but also recognize that the role is not their true identity.

When we conflate the fictional role we play with who and what we truly are, we inevitably suffer the consequences that come with such poor judgment and discernment, and that is the value of intermediate teachings such as “annica”, or no-self, which are meant to free us from lingering in that case of mistaken identity.

Essentially, no teaching is going to fully liberate us, because we have never been bound to begin with. Again, that is Love’s Play — a game of Hide & Seek with Itself, pretending to be separate for the thrill of reunion. It is only in direct recognition of that which is and has always been the case that we can even speak of liberation, since it is liberation from the false notions of limitation and attachment to provisional identities that have obscured our native state of unconditional love.

The infinite forms and personas that Love employs to express Itself do not in any way detract from or lessen Spirit’s timeless perfection. There is only one Source, one Self, projecting Its infinite forms through the inconceivable holograms of luminosity that we call Spirit. Moreover, this magical realm we call “the world” is a wild wonder beyond human reckoning! The mere appearance of anything at all is a perpetual mystery of pure awe and ceaseless astonishment! Why retreat into frozen poses of abstruse dharma, when every molecule of light amazes itself at its own inexplicable appearance?

These ever-shifting props that provide the sense of time and change are nothing but batons we juggle in the mid-air of the here and now! How thrilling to suddenly realize that the synchronous majesty of our infinitely expansive being is the perfect expression of That which is living us now, dreaming us now as a miracle fashioned out of unimaginable Love. Yes, we are Love, and Love must love, for therein shines our perfect purpose beyond any need for ersatz redemption.

There is one Presence, one Power, of which we are all unique projections. All the myriad sentient personalities flash and frolic as dreamy thought forms dancing in the Heart/Mind of Source. Drawn deeper into this stunning recognition, all universal nature herself becomes transparent as the manifestation of the Living Womb of Light, delivering everyone and everything into pure light and more light still.

That clear light radiance of awake awareness has no before or after, nor parts that somehow come together or randomly divide. There is only This! Such recognition is not an acquisition of the mind, but rather a letting go and awakening at the Heart — our destiny and present condition — when all that would obstruct clear seeing is sacrificed at the altar of the Unconditional, for the selfless sake of Love alone.

May all beings awaken to the bliss of their own true nature, their own primordial brilliance — only Love!

Q: What is this big talk about elimination of the self? How can the self eliminate itself? What kind of metaphysical acrobatics can lead to the disappearance of the acrobat? In the end he will reappear, mightily proud of his disappearing.

Nisargadatta Maharaj: You need not chase the ‘I am’ to kill it. You cannot. All you need is a sincere longing for reality. We call it atma-bhakti, the love of the Supreme: or moksha-sankalpa, the determination to be free from the false. Without love, and will inspired by love, nothing can be done. Merely talking about Reality without doing anything about it is self-defeating. There must be love in the relation between the person who says ‘I am’ and the observer of that ‘I am’. As long as the observer, the inner self, the ‘higher’ self, considers himself apart from the observed, the ‘lower’ self, despises it and condemns it, the situation is hopeless. It is only when the observer (vyakta) accepts the person (vyakti) as a projection or manifestation of himself, and, so to say, takes the self into the Self, the duality of ‘I’ and ‘this’ goes and in the identity of the outer and the inner the Supreme Reality manifests itself.

This union of the seer and the seen happens when the seer becomes conscious of himself as the seer, he is not merely interested in the seen, which he is anyhow, but also interested in being interested, giving attention to attention, aware of being aware. Affectionate awareness is the crucial factor that brings Reality into focus.

“Perhaps everything that frightens us is,
in its deepest essence, something helpless
that wants our love.”

~ Rainer Maria Rilke

In recognizing that which we tend to construct or presume to be grounds for un-love and contraction, all is eventually or even suddenly revealed to be inherently without any limitation – the paradoxical but generous offerings of Love to itself.

In recognizing “that” from which we tend to recoil in fear and conditioned reactivity, all is revealed to be nothing but the selfless communication of Love to itself.

In recognizing the appearance of sensations, perceptions, and thought formations, all are revealed to be nothing but non-binding manifestations of our own indivisible totality, which is the boundless nature of Love itself.

In recognizing the vanishing of every formation, sensation, or thought object, the I-concept itself is revealed to be nothing but the transitory play of vast emptiness, which is simultaneously the unfathomable function of Love itself.

In recognizing the futility of belief in or identification with any form or concept, all seeming hindrances (including the presumption of a separate self-sense) are enjoyed as nothing but transparent modifications of Love itself, without any effort or motive to have them be anything other than what they are.

In recognizing that all seeking is merely the avoidance of “what is” — the breathtaking magnificence of the ordinary, the uncontrived rawness of it — Love reveals itself as the very home which the mind of preference is always fleeing in order to finally arrive home.

In recognizing the absurd predicament in which the mind of complication entangles itself through all of its efforts to confirm, enlighten, save, redeem, improve, liberate, or vanquish itself, a sense of humor is born, and it is that humble humor which heralds the beginning of true wisdom – the capacity to appreciate and incarnate Love itself.

In recognizing that consciousness itself is simply an engaging fiction, a fantasy creation of Love’s innocent dream-play, with no ultimate meaning or significance except to be That, our soul becomes still.

In such stillness, any pretense of knowing, along with the dualistic mind’s imaginative scenery, is dissolved in an infinite expanse – the sky-like spaciousness of Awareness itself.

The unparalleled beauty which shines forth from the heart of that dynamic silence is beyond any special name or poetic designation, though we might call it Love.

“The world is but a show, glittering and empty. It is, and yet is not. It is there as long as I want to see it and take part in it. When I cease caring, it dissolves. It has no cause and serves no purpose. It just happens . . .  It appears exactly as it looks, but there is no depth in it, nor meaning. Only the onlooker is real. To the Self the world is but a colourful show, which he enjoys as long as it lasts and forgets when it is over. Whatever happens on the stage makes him shudder in terror or roll with laughter, yet all the time he is aware that it is but a show. Without desire or fear he enjoys it, as it happens.”

~Sri Nisargadatta

One regular refrain of traditional spirituality consists of the admonition that the so-called ego must be methodically eliminated in order for the light of truth to dawn. In other words, it has been taught that it represents some nemesis, obstacle, impediment, or downright nasty evil entity that somehow attached itself to us, or that we acquired by virtue of wrong thinking, wrong living, or simply as a condition of appearing here at all — something akin to the Christian version of original sin.

On the other hand, some of the more sophisticated of the wisdom systems will explain that the ego is simply a persistent hallucination, an illusion which is not real, but rather a false assumption that we are currently plagued with because of karmic reasons related to bad seeds of ignorance and selfishness we planted in the course of previous incarnations. Alternately, some will expound that it represents the habitual activity of craving and aversion, and thus is not an entity, but nevertheless should still be eliminated, conquered, subdued, or somehow manipulated into non-existence (even if it is an illusion in the first place and so only exists as a conceptual designation).

Upon some inspection, however, and perhaps with the benefit of a little insight gleaned from expanded consciousness into the mechanics of incarnating into the dense vibrational frequency of this psycho-physical realm, we can recognize that the ego, or sense of self, is more like a necessary downloaded software program (in the same sense that the body/brain is the necessary hardware) required to function in life and relations. Just so, let’s consider how this works.

Our true nature is not human. We are immortal Spirit, a beloved extension, expression, and reflection of Source, the Universal Basis. As such, we act as a lens for Source to experience Itself in all of Its infinite manifestations. Spirit does this by infusing a portion of its light energy (Source Energy) into various sentient beings, including humans, in order to sample and share in their experience. In this way, we reflect Source back to Itself. Just as humans populate their dreams at night with all sorts of characters (who are nevertheless projections of their own minds), so too does Source project the whole universe into existence in an act of indescribable love, and then enjoy the multi-faceted experience of it through Its Spirit extensions.

Source Itself is not an entity, but more like an ineffable field of creative energy which expands its Self-awareness by employing shards of Its own Source Consciousness (Spirits) to explore Itself in the mirrored halls of infinity, which are ultimately Its own dream creation. There is in reality nothing but Source, playing all the roles. We are Source, manifesting as Spirit — the actor who inhabits all manner of bio-vehicles to both play the parts and also to enjoy the drama of sentience, human and otherwise. Indeed, the human carbon-based lifeform construct is actually only one possible incarnational option amidst innumerable universes and dimensions, with most of them utterly incomprehensible to the current human intellect.

Although our Spirit has its own unique identity, that ancient identity is not the same thing as the perishable human self-sense, which consists of a combination of survival instincts and various personality factors. This transient self-sense, or ego-program, is the tool Spirit employs to experience realms such as that of the human. Without it, we would not be able to maintain the necessary focus of energy required for physical manifestation. Indeed, in order to play the game of life on this stage, we need the personality roles and identity props which are programmed into each of us so that Spirit can create the virtual reality scenarios and storylines that we call our lives.

This so-called ego-program, or self-sense, naturally projects the necessary illusion of substantial reality needed to provide us with a human experience. Consequently, the prevalent concept that one needs to kill or eliminate the ego in order to become enlightened actually represents a compounded error in judgment and appreciation. In other words, it is a conceptual fantasy based on purely human suppositions and conditioned interpretations on perception. In reality, there is no substantial or enduring mental subject or ego-person that can be established, disposed of, or liberated, and so whatever may arise (such as thoughts, memories, sensations, and perceptions that seem to reify such an entity) can be compared to a thief in an empty house.

Regardless of our most idealistic human intent, we simply cannot become more of what we already are. To the point: as immortal Spirit, and extensions of Source consciousness, we have never been un-enlightened, and so there is nothing which we can do, no special practice or Guru, that is going to make us any more spiritually elevated than we already are. That dog is simply a tail-chaser!

Furthermore, since we incarnated here to experience the human adventure, it would be contradictory and counter-productive in the extreme to attempt to eliminate that which makes human existence possible in the first place. Such an attitude and intention would be tantamount to the old saying: “cutting off our nose to spite our face”.

Words themselves provide a good working example of the paradox of ego. Words are essentially audible vocalizations, or else little lines, dots, and squiggles on a page, with no inherent substance, which we nevertheless interpret as symbols, and to which we collectively assign a provisional reality, employing them in order to communicate with each other. We know that they are only sounds and scribbles, and not what they are intended to represent, but we agree to grant them a temporary significance for pragmatic purposes.

So too with the sense of self, otherwise known as the ego. Inherently, it is empty — a fictional creation — but we behave “as if” it is real, in order to accomplish our aims while playing in this virtual reality. This self-sense, or ego-program, is neither good nor bad by nature, any more than an operating system in a computer is good or bad. It is in fact essential for the life experience, and depending on our intent, it can be employed to serve many functions, some of which we could consider skillful, and of course some not so skillful. The results of such skillfulness or its lack are clearly evident in the world which the present collective self-sense has generated, mixed as it is with the inspiring as well as the regrettable.

Drilling down to the level of the apparent individual, all of the numerous emotional and psychological symptoms of dysfunction originate from an internal conflict between the survival aspect and the personality aspect of the ego-program, just as all of what is beautiful and desirable is birthed into manifestation when the various aspects of the ego-program are in harmony.

The chief complication in this process is the tendency of the conditioned mind to enthrone and then worship this basic operating system as if it were its true identity, projecting it as the master rather than the servant that it is intended to be. That delusion is simply based on a case of mistaken identity, but is nevertheless responsible for all the suffering which ensues, and which, in far too many respects, defines this realm, on both the micro as well as the macro level, as a kind of prison circumstance.

Omniscient Spirit consciousness contracts its pure vibrational frequency into the dense form of the human animal so that it can fully inhabit and experience the human adventure. Moreover, in order to achieve maximum impact from the experience, it also assumes a kind of temporary amnesia regarding its true nature and condition, at least for the life of the bio-vehicle, so that it can enjoy confronting the Unknown.

What is called “awakening” in various human wisdom systems is simply a matter of directly seeing through the self-imposed amnesia, realizing the empty quality of the projected self and its world, and simultaneously re-cognizing our original Spirit nature. If it happens in the course of one’s human adventure, great! If not, great! In other words, it is not an object that can or need be pursued, particularly since this life itself, from the point of view of the Spirit world and one’s immortal illumined nature, is simply another inhalation and exhalation within the grand panorama of infinite expansion.

In that regard, the human mind itself, no matter how brilliant it may be in the relative sphere, is quite ill-equipped to comprehend the bigger picture of that which precedes it, and in which it appears and disappears like a tiny bubble in a sea of champagne. Even the most profound human spiritual capacity is still very much like peeking through a keyhole into the parlor while trying to take in the immensity of an enormous mansion with infinite rooms.

In any case, since one of the functions of the ego-program is to handle survival issues, it automatically reacts to any presumed threats to its existence, including threats to its image of itself. Indeed, all we are ever trying to protect and defend is some image we have of ourselves, based on this false assumption of limited identity. Subsequently, since the current propaganda of this world is fear-based, the egoic survival mechanism responds by generating a corresponding contraction in the being, and hence the sense of unhappiness follows as night follows day.

Beliefs in threats, separation, conflict, and lack continually reinforce the ego-self survival program with a negative feedback loop, which in turn infects the collective environment, and subsequently is reflected in the various human religious and political clashes which have rendered this a war planet. This was not at all the original purpose of the program, but is simply what it has become in far too many cases, and also why there is the movement in human spiritual philosophies and systems to banish it.

As understandable as that motive may seem, it is utterly ineffective. Nobody can banish the ego and remain alive. The wiser course, on the other hand, is to simply switch from being controlled by it to taking charge and re-programing it to fulfill its original intent. In order to do that, it is necessary to first understand its mechanics – how it operates – and the best way to do that is through the process of True Inquiry (which has been elaborated in detail in previous essays here). As long as we remain ignorant of how we have allowed ourselves to be controlled by it, we will never be able to see through its defenses and discover the misdirected love at its core.

Certainly, a major part of True Inquiry involves inspecting the role of thought in the creation of our life and relations. Indeed, every thought is generated by the program. Consequently, if we can see directly how identifying with and fixating on thoughts keeps the contracted ego-mind in the driver’s seat, so to speak, than we can also turn the tables by bringing attention to the witness of thoughts – that awake aware space in which thoughts arise and dissolve — and thus undermining their power to drag us around by the nose.

Again, this does not mean that we go about trying to eliminate thoughts, but rather simply see them for what they are, and thus not be controlled by them. After all, the gifts of being able to think and feel, to create and form relationships, originate dependently with the self-sense. These are all wonderful capacities, and if properly understood and directed, provide the tools with which we can accomplish our creative purpose in coming here in the first place. For example, as a means of expression, every piece of music or art is created through the vehicle of the ego.

Even so, we need not take the transient self-sense to represent who and what we truly are, but we can instead simply appreciate it as the creative expedient that it is, like a space suit worn to navigate a particular environment. We are not the costume, we are not the program, but we do need it in order to provide Spirit the necessary access to the physical adventure it desires to immerse itself in, and so provide Source with eyes and hands and feet to discover and enjoy Itself in this shimmering corner of Its dream of living light.

“Those who teach enlightenment through the dissociation with the physical expression of Self walk a path of exclusion and separation, rather than inclusion and connection. Such are teachings in their expression that one thing has greater value than another, that one status of expression is more ascended and proud than another. If all are One, there is only one true value of every-thing. The body, the being, is the celebration and the fruit of the soul. It is the chalice that holds your sacred waters of life, and the temple through which the symbolism of harmony within diversity is expressed and embodied.

It is your human persona which perceives and pigeon holes the physical plane as a ‘lower’ dimension. There are actually many, many physical dimensions which coexist, yet which at times most, are never aware of each other. One is not ‘lower’ than another. That is a judgment you have placed upon its understanding in order for you to relate to it more conveniently. It is more accurate to say, they are simply different expressions of the same source, or, they are different potentials or canvases of creation. One potential is not ‘better’ or ‘higher’ than another, for all potentials come from, and lead to, the same One source.

Just in the way you taste a variety of ingredients when preparing food; one ingredient is not ‘higher’ or ‘lower’ than another, they simply provide different flavours, different experiences. The physical dimension to which you relate is simply one of many flavours, one of many sources of experience, which present you with an expanded insight into what can be created from the ingredients of that which you know as God. So, in a sense, you are like a child playing in the kitchen of the cosmos, or the cradle of creation. If such is your human experience that leaves, how to say, a bad taste in your mouth, then your beautiful divine Self will simply pursue other ‘ingredients’ within the cosmos to cook up and create new experiences of its Self.

So then, your ‘level of spirituality’, as you have called it, is simply your human brain, your ego, trying to fabricate challenges, obstacles and interactive pathways for you to somehow ‘achieve’ something which, in fact, you already are, always have been and always will be, regardless of anything and everything you do in physical state. So before you, or anybody who now reads these words lowers their own spiritual Self-value, know that regardless of what ‘spiritual’ progress you presume you have made through physical ‘learnings’, it does not and will not change who or what your spirit is. You are beautiful, you are perfect and divine, and you do not need to achieve, suffer or struggle for this to remain fact, in life or in death.”

~Sparrow

“If we have listened to many learned masters and received deep instructions, have studied a few sutras and tantras, without ever applying them —‘Oh how pitiful!’— we are just fooling ourselves.”

~Longchenpa

At a certain point on the journey, it becomes obvious that Reality is not reducible to any one view, dogma, religious or philosophical description, sage’s testimony, or even any direct experience, regardless of how seemingly profound and conclusive. On the contrary, it both includes and simultaneously exceeds all that we can know or imagine, and so clinging to any fixed notion, scripture, or purported revelation only serves to superimpose a conceptual limit on what is fundamentally limitless.

In that regard, and in today’s multifaceted spiritual environment, it is quite common for people who encounter certain nonduality teachings (such as Advaita Vendanta, or the Buddhist Schools of Zen, Mahamudra, and Dzogchen) to find substantial resonance on an intellectual level. After all, once one begins to examine such teachings, they do make a lot of sense, especially if one has already had some exposure to the eastern spiritual traditions, or grown disenchanted with the Abrahamic religious dogmas as propounded in the conventional institutions that most Westerners have been raised in.

The problem is, as long as these nondual teachings remain on the level of the intellect, they may have some philosophical value, but that is typically as far as it goes. Unless the inquiry penetrates deep enough through the layers of mental formations to sever the root of our transient identifications and self-positions, while simultaneously opening the heart to the call of selfless compassion, it will not ultimately be very transformative, and can even pose as an additional hindrance by fattening the “spiritual ego”.

Fixating in a purely intellectual understanding of the emptiness of the self-complex, for example, can actually interfere with or impede its direct recognition (or clear seeing), which is something of an altogether different nature. In that regard, one of the strange drawbacks of such philosophical agreement is the tendency observed in so many enthusiasts of the nonduality scene to forgo a commitment to the practice/actualization component, choosing instead to extract certain themes from the totality of the teachings (such as, “there is nothing that need be done”, “everything is already perfect as it is”, “just be what you are”, and other typically misunderstood and out-of-context proclamations), and then feel satisfied that they have “got it”.

Experiencing the concepts expounded by the nonduality-based wisdom systems, of course, is no substitute for the literal revolution in consciousness to which the concepts merely point. The great Advaitic sage Nisargadatta Maharaj himself spent years plunged into intense self-inquiry and meditation prior to his awakening, but that fact is often by-passed by the mind that believes it has the whole thing figured out, based on a bit of reading and online conversation. Finding those who can talk the talk has become increasingly easy, but those who actually walk the walk have always been quite rare. Stepping back a pace or two, one might even see the humor in the internet nonduality enthusiasts’ fervent efforts to deny their own existence, even as the concerted energy expended on that task only serves to confirm the very persona which they imagine they can banish via intellectual assent.

We might hear it said that the mind is without essence and identity – lucidity without a reference point, completely free. Some claim it is awareness without dwelling, unobservable and unfettered by notions such as existence, non-existence, permanence, and nothingness. The “unformed unity of empty cognizance” or “the quintessential luminosity itself abiding as the ground” are also phrases some preachers have been known to employ. Because these terms are all mere reflections in the mirror, we can avoid being trapped in the cleverness of words by recognizing them all as no more or less significant than a passing autumn breeze, and instead turn our attention (via practice) to that which they are only pointing. All the intriguing descriptions on a menu still cannot equal one delicious bite of real food.

Even my previous essay, on the Mystique of Freedom, could be misinterpreted to suggest that practice is unnecessary. In fact, no effort can bring about awakening, but paradoxically, in order to realize that, some effort does seem to be required.

As Nisargadatta himself noted: “Unless you make tremendous efforts, you will not be convinced that effort will take you nowhere. The self is so self-confident that unless it is totally discouraged it will not give up. Mere verbal conviction is not enough. Hard facts alone can show the absolute nothingness of the self-image.”

Practices such as Non-dwelling, the Discipline of Silence, and True Meditation (Mindful Awareness) can effectively serve to remove obstructions to Clear Seeing. In that regard, I have used the classic metaphor of a thorn employed to remove a thorn (as an expedient means), and once it has done its job, it too can be discarded.

Even Ramana Maharshi, who is held up as an example of the rare instance when awakening occurred spontaneously, actually spent years in sadhana in seclusion cultivating his initial insight into the Self-nature, prior to settling at Arunachala and beginning teaching.

I’ve heard some teachers claim that practice may not be necessary, and that may or may not be true for us someday, but certainly not as long as we are appearing in this realm. The great Zen Master Dogen said, “enlightenment has no beginning, and practice has no end.” To have no end means that there is infinite expansion, which doesn’t end with some experience of awakening. Indeed, such experiences may merely signal the beginning of a new phase of Self-exploration.

Unless even the most profound intellectual enlightenment is also accompanied and informed by deep cellular transformation and light conductivity, it will always be confined by the limitations of the intellect itself, which is a part of the transient body-mind complex of the virtual person. True Enlightenment itself is determined by the capacity to receive and transmit Source-Light. Enlightenment is literally about Light, not its reflections in thought, identity, or view.

In any case (and not to belabor the issue), I will offer one good practice tip from a reliable teacher, Garchen Rinpoche:

“If you were to practice mindful awareness with great diligence for just a month, if you were to recognize even the slightest thought and not allow your mind to wander off into delusion for that time, even in such a short time you would witness great changes. Fierce afflictions would not faze you so much anymore, because you would have gained personal experience in observing the illusory play.”

Your pride in yourself and your wanting,
these steal your energy along the road.

If you can kill these robbers
and become the servant of everyone,
you’ll meet the Lord in meditation
and see what you used to protect
as just a pile of ashes.

~ Lal Ded

Despite idealistic claims by some teachers that the process is an effortless one, it still seems that it is devilishly difficult for the vast majority of aspirants to actually let go of the programed belief in a separate and independent person, path, and destiny. All subsequent schemes and notions about performing liberating practices, accumulating merit, attaining enlightenment, and so forth are based on that primal case of mistaken identity.

In any case, we obviously cannot think or wish that delusion away, because its very root and origin is fixed in the deep subconscious. What we can do is to continue to reach beyond ourselves by giving love, and simultaneously refrain from investing in ego-mind’s self-absorbed narrative. At some point, the subconscious may simply cease projecting a karmic self, because there is no longer grounds for the existence of such a projection — its fuel supply has been severed due to non-attention.

Until then, it seems that we will persist in fretting about that which turns out to be a mere make-believe character. In the coffee shop adjacent to the theater, seekers will continue to gather after the movie and passionately debate the fate of the fictional movie character, as if he/she were real. Even that can be a playful sort of fun, except that everyone appears so serious. They are all doing sacred sadhana, after all, and that’s no laughing matter!

On the other hand, if we were somehow able to get a bit of perspective on the whole “me-project”, we just might recognize the humor in all of the arduous efforts undertaken to become . . . well . . . what we already are. When we read the anecdotal stories of awakening in the testimonial literature, there is typically a burst of laughter that accompanies direct recognition (often accompanied by some version of a face palm). Ramana Maharshi put it succinctly when he said: “We think that there is something hiding our reality and that it must be destroyed before the reality is gained. It is ridiculous. A day will dawn when you will yourself laugh at your past efforts. That which will be on the day you laugh is also here and now.”

For many of us, one of the chief culprits impeding such a recognition is pride, stubborn spiritual pride. After all, we have spent so much valuable time squirming and nodding at the feet of teachers, we have done the prostrations, read the books, twisted our legs into pretzels, visualized all sorts of super beings, chanted monosyllabic Sanskrit fragments countless times, and purchased all the prescribed mountain climbing gear we have been assured will help in our courageous ascent to the top where spiritual glory awaits us (or so we have been told).

Now someone comes along and suggests that all of that was essentially a humorous pretense, and points out that we are not one step closer to real liberation than we were when we started the whole pious business. Moreover, they claim the reason for that is because the one who was so determined to get free is actually the glitch that has been obstructing the spontaneous realization all along. The realization of what? The realization of that which has never been bound from the beginning, and so has never been in need of fixing! The spiritual comedian Chogyam Trungpa called this whole set-up “the cosmic joke”.

Indeed – how can one not laugh at the absurdity? Well, when we no longer take our foibles seriously, it can provoke a concomitant sense of humility, and humility is the last thing ego-mind wants to get involved with. Why? Humility can be quite uncomfortable to the mind intoxicated with its own importance. That is, humility will not confirm and validate ego-mind’s very existence. In fact, it diminishes its power, weakens its voice, saps attention from the perceived wonderfulness of its self-image, and generally deflates its enthusiasm to acquire all the perks that supposedly come with spiritual attainment. Clearly, ego-mind has no sense of humor, and that is a big clue in itself.

Moreover, who wants to look like a fool? In the view of ego-mind, that is exactly how it would be perceived if all of its mighty efforts at becoming enlightened turned out to be a big diversion — a waste of time. Remember, how we are perceived is typically more important to ego-mind than the reality of who and what we really are. For ego-mind, it truly is all in the perception. The actual reality is conveniently ignored, unless of course it can be employed somehow to bolster the desired perception. It will even pat itself on the back for the brilliant recognition of its own non-existence!

Invariably, the cumulative energy behind this culture’s massive programing and marketing shtick is spawned and nourished by our fundamental concern for how we look, and that is certainly no laughing matter! This is because (in our minds) how we appear is the determinant for how loved and lovable we might be. Hence, here is the heart of it – what we are really seeking. It’s what all of our efforts are devoted to — the supreme and primordial motive – to be attended to, to be loved.

Once that is directly seen, we may be moved to return to the initial inquiry: who or what is so desperately yearning to be loved, confirmed, and cherished that we would jump through all the hoops tossed at us in the spiritual game, just to heal a wound at the heart which is there from our own doing ? Our own doing? Yes, in the process of assuming these human forms, we projected and then reinforced a sense of self and other, despite the reality that consciousness is indivisible.

We created the chasm, in other words, based on a case of mistaken identity – the identity of a separate and independent person believed to be in need of redemption, liberation, love. Certainly, we had a lot of help in the process. After all, the story we have been told from birth by all of the various agents of our socialization is based on being a separate person in a world filled with other separate people, some of whom could give us what we want, and some of whom could threaten our very existence. In any case, we are told that we are on our own. Yikes!

Keep in mind that all of this is related in general terms, and individual motives and experiences may vary, but if we are willing to deeply inspect our own motives, perhaps we can recognize a particular quality at the root of our being: self-interest. The motive of self-interest is in fact the primary one for just about all creatures in this realm. Nor can we simply banish it from our minds, especially if we are unwilling to confront it first, and see what kind of gift is hidden within its appearance.

If we are observant, we might come to see that whatever appears in our lives can be recognized as a gift for us, if we are open to receiving. Nothing is there haphazardly. Even the more difficult challenges and visions are still only temporary phenomena that are reflected in the mirror of mind. We are not what appears and vanishes, and so having faith in that fact, we can proceed.

Upon investigation, we can notice that the sense of self-interest is primal, arising for almost everyone simultaneous with embodiment. Indeed, without it, we would not last long in this realm, and so it can be appreciated as a useful and necessary program in that respect, as long as it serves its proper function. So far, so good.

The complication arises when we mistake the program for our actual identity, because then it threatens to become a tyrannical master, rather than a loyal and helpful servant. Moreover, in doing so, it creates painful contractions in the flow of our interpersonal relationships, even to the extreme of our making war to insure its dominance. Just so, if we survey this world as it is today, with all of its strife and bloodshed, we can see the results of an out-of-control sense of self-interest.

By spending some time turning our attention away from the interests of the identified one – its thoughts, emotions, memories, and perceptions – and instead allowing mind to come to rest in the spaciousness of that awake awareness which is always present, then the natural balance and harmony between the expediency of the transient self-sense and the eternal reality of our native pristine selflessness can eventually be restored.

In the process, the essential emptiness of the self-image may be revealed, thus freeing attention even more from the dilemma of imagined independent embodiment, and simultaneously releasing it to the exquisite enjoyment of pure being. Such liberated energy subsequently transmutes to a fine-burning fuel, freely available for the actualization of life’s inherent potential and evolutionary expansion to infinity.

Now we are no longer looking for love, because we know ourselves as Love itself. When the heart knows itself as it is, bondage and liberation both become moot, humor flows freely, while what remains is what has always been – this miraculous motionless moment that paradoxically goes on forever!

“That which you are, your true self, you love it, and whatever you do, you do for your own happiness. To find it, to know it, to cherish it is your basic urge. Since time immemorial you loved yourself, but not wisely. What is wrong is to love yourself stupidly, so as to make yourself suffer. Use your body and mind wisely in the service of the self, that is all.”

~Sri Nisargadatta