THIS WOULD HAVE WORKED IN A HAREM ANIME

put on your armor.

terrorcandy — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 23:29:45 GMT

(a little early, but) 明けましておめでとう～！

As always, stolen from dalton; one photo, one song for each month of this year (plus - should you want it - a zip file). This year I had some difficulty narrowing down some months to only one song, so a couple of them have more. I HAD A LOT OF FEELINGS TO BE EXPRESSED IN SHITTY JPOP THIS YEAR, GET OFF MY BACK
(SKIP THE BULLSHIT AND LISTEN ONLINE?!)

JANUARY

yeasayer
"rome"

There's no mistaking that Rome is gonna be mine. It's just a matter of, it's just a matter of, it's just a matter of time.

FEBRUARY

legally blonde the musical
"chip on my shoulder"

I've been smiling and sweet and thoroughly beaten blowing my chance; let's not chase him away, let's face him and say, "Hey punk, let's dance!" This chip on my shoulder makes me smarter and bolder. No more whining or blaming, I am reclaiming my pride! Grab that book and let's do this instead of doodling hearts all through this. Now there's a chip on my shoulder! Let's see him knock it aside!

MARCH

mumford and sons
"little lion man"

Weep for yourself, my man; you'll never be what is in your heart. Weep, little lion man, you're not as brave as you were at the start.

VOCALOID feat. 初音ミク・巡音ルカ・GUMI
"pray for."

My voice won't reach. Even my hands can't reach. That's why I'm praying - to the stars, to the sky, to God, and to you. I pray to the stars. I pray to the sky. I'll pray to god as well, so if it reaches you you won't be alone. Everyone is connected, we just don't see it yet. So face forward.

APRIL

安室奈美恵
"fight together"

We've come a long way from the days when we looked up at the high, spacious sky. With each oath in our hearts, we won’t lose ourselves to the burdens we carry. The rising sun even shines on our pain. I have faith: someday, let’s go find the future that’ll bind us as one, together. You are irreplaceable to me, so don’t forget: we fight together.

MAY

claris
"irony"

Don't be so nice to me like that. See! We are hurting each other again. Our heaps of lies have caused nothing but bitterness. I want to go meet you right now, but I can't seem to find the right words to say. At least in the very last page, I want to show you my smile!

JUNE

spyair
"samurai heart (some like it hot!)"

I've lived my life expressionless, day by day, and today is no different, is it? This is a town where you can't not fit in. Ah, standing in the waves of people, I make sure of those repeating foot steps, and then I feel that maybe I can walk a bit more than before. In the glass of the town I passed through, my lonely self reflected back, along with my irritated self and the indifferent world. Hey!! Hey!! Answer me. Is there anybody there? No matter how much I search, there's no answer back. Hey!! Hey!! If only I will make myself Then the true voice inside of me that doesn't think "Whatever" goes... Hey!! Hey!! You can't live alone, can you? If you throw away even your heart, you'll never fit in. Hey!! Hey!! You don't need a reason to give up. You can stand firm and live in this town. Hey!! Hey!! Answer me. Is there anybody there? No matter how much I search, there's no answer back. Hey!! Hey!! Only I can make "myself", so even if I cry, even if I smile, even if I hate, I'll live my life with love. Hey! Hey! Samurai Heart.

JULY

chatmonchy
"ここだけの話 (a talk for here alone)"

I want to live without sadness, without getting wet from tears, without being at a loss. I’m clumsy, but put on a smile. Teach me only the fun things. There’s a face I want to see and a voice I want to hear once I wake up. Let the joy ring out. Good morning! I look forward to working with you today.

AUGUST

deco*27 feat. topi
"light lag"

By my side, you laugh, "This is also a firework, isn't it?"

the rootless
"one day"

Every time I look at the sky after the rain, I think of the past when I was only a crybaby. I was frantically going after someone's back and saying "I wanna become stronger."

SEPTEMBER

VOCALOID feat. 初音ミク　（歌ってみる　うさ ver.）
"千本桜 (a thousand cherry blossoms)"

After a bold and audacious Westernization revolution, this is now an open and upright anti-war nation! As I pedal forward my bicycle marked with the Japanese flag, evil spirits will disperse from my intercontinental ballistic missiles.

OCTOBER

VOCALOID feat. 巡音ルカ　（歌ってみる　clear ver.)
"no logic"

Isn't this basically good enough? Isn't it okay to not overdo it? If you have to fake a smile, then you're not having any fun at all, are you? You keep taking things on one by one, what exactly do you want to do? There's no question that everyone can get a perfect score on, right?

AKB48
"風は吹いている (the wind is blowing)"

Even if the wind happens to stop, the world cannot exist without it. Keep your breath no matter what happens; although today might be a painful day, shall we begin with the things we can do?

NOVEMBER

of monsters and men
"little talks"

"There's an old voice in my head that's holding me back." "Well, tell her that I miss our little talks." Soon it will all be over, buried with our past; we used to play outside when we were young and full of life and full of love. "Some days I feel like I'm wrong when I am right." "Your mind is playing tricks on you my dear." 'Cause though the truth may vary, this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore.

DECEMBER

suneohair
"赤いコート (red coat)"

When I think about the start of my journey, I take a deep breath without stopping. The two of us swim together to tomorrow, as we sway in a row like fishes. No thank you to bitterness, no thank you to sorrow. Oh no~ Goodbye days.

ZIP FILE

Have a safe New Years, guys. See you on the other side.

STRONG WORLD.

terrorcandy — Wed, 04 May 2011 17:35:08 GMT

LUFFY: How could I know how to use swords, you idiot!

ZORO: ...

YOSAKU: Wha-what is he talking about?!

LUFFY: I don't know anything about navigation!

NAMI: ...

LUFFY: I can't cook!

SANJI: ...

LUFFY: I've never lied to anyone!

USOPP: Hey...

LUFFY: I'm sure that if no one helped me, I couldn't survive!!

ARLONG: Ha ha, I never thought you'd be this worthless. You're only good at talking big! Your crew must have a headache with a captain like you. Why should they have to risk their lives for you? A person like you with no pride isn't worthy of being a captain! What can you do?!

LUFFY: I can beat you.

One Piece is an incredibly long-running shounen manga series written and drawn by Oda Eiichiro. One Piece follows the adventures of Monkey D. Luffy, a 17-year-old boy who gains elastic abilities after inadvertently eating a supernatural fruit, and his diverse crew of pirates, named the Straw Hat Pirates. Luffy explores the ocean in search of the world's ultimate treasure known as the One Piece and to become the next Pirate King. On his journey, Luffy battles a wide variety of villains and makes several friends. Since its release, One Piece has become one of the most popular manga series of all time in Japan. It is the highest-selling manga in the history of Weekly Shounen Jump, as well as currently being its most acclaimed manga. One Piece is also currently ranked as the best-selling series in manga history. It enjoys a high readership, with more than 230 million volumes of the series sold by 2011. One Piece has wide critical acclaim from reviewers, primarily for its art, characterization, humor and story.

The series begins with the execution of Gol D. Roger, the King of the Pirates. Before his death, he set into motion the legend of his treasure, the One Piece, which is hidden somewhere for whoever finds it to take for his own. Roger's death causes what is known as "The Great Pirate Era", as countless pirates set out to look for his treasure.

Twenty years have passed since Gol D. Roger's execution, and Monkey D. Luffy, a young boy inspired by the pirate known as "Red-Haired" Shanks, sets off on a journey from the East Blue to be the next King of the Pirates and find the treasure. Along the way, he organizes and leads a crew named the Straw Hat Pirates. Although One Piece is a shounen manga and therefore features the prerequisite fight sequences, stupid ultimate moves, and ridiculous power-ups, it is at its heart a story about the relationship between this group of friends.

Including Luffy, the crew of the Going Merry/Thousand Sunny is made up of a current nine members (arguably ten if you count Vivi, who left the crew to rebuild her country but who will remain one of their nakama forever), with ten as Luffy's stated goal. Roronoa Zoro is a swordsman and an ex-pirate hunter; he uses three swords (one in his mouth - I know, it's dumb, get used to it) and as per a promise he made to a childhood friend, is aiming to become the world's greatest swordsman. He's serious and put-upon, the straight man of the group, but he supports Luffy's dream more than anyone. Navigator and thief Nami's dream is to draw a complete map of the world; in spite of her mercenary exterior, she's got a lot of heart. Usopp's only special skills are sharpshooting, inventing, and lying through his teeth; his weakness as a fighter weighs heavily on him, and he constantly fights to become a person worthy of his friends. Sanji, the ship cook, knows how it feels to starve and so will never refuse someone a meal. He's a skilled fighter, and his greatest weakness is ladies.

The ship's doctor is an anthropomorphized blue-nosed reindeer (run with it) named Tony Tony Chopper; naive and incredibly timid, he's the most childish of the group, but his dream is to become a doctor that can cure any illness. Like Luffy, he is easily impressed at things like beams, cannons, and hidden abilities, and he finds the worst possible role models (Usopp); his speech gets nastier the more he's being praised, but his heart is bigger than anyone's. The archaeologist and ex-villain Nico Robin joins the crew later on; quiet and reserved, she rarely shows emotions. However, when she finally admits her true feelings (I WADDA LIVE!!!) it becomes clear how much she needs and treasures her crewmates. Robin's dream is to find the Rio Poneglyph which tells the True History.

When the Strawhats' original ship, the Going Merry, finally can't take any more abuse, they are joined by a cybernetic shipwright named Franky; in spite of his kind of (totally) bizarre personality and his unwillingness to wear pants, he's a brilliant shipbuilder and a good guy (although his habit of crying uncontrollably whenever he hears a sad story can get in the way at times). Finally and most recently the Strawhats picked up a musician skeleton named Brook (a response to a running joke that whenever the other characters list off specialists they need in their crew Luffy always responds "A MUSICIAN!!"). Brook enjoys simple pleasures like a walk in the sun and looking at ladies' panties (although he's terrified of ghosts).

As is the case with One Piece itself, tracks are about half about Luffy, half about the crew, and all about the adventure. Hopefully they stand on their own. Chronologically speaking this fst is immediately post-time skip and reunion, although most of the tracks can be seen as pre-time skip focused (save a focus on Luffy's parentage). Definitely post-spoilers-about-Ace. Posting this on Luffy's birthday is pretty much just a coincidence. I have literally no idea why this turned out so damn twee.

One Piece and the Strawhat Pirates belong to Oda Eiichiro and Weekly Shounen Jump, music belongs to its respective artists, front cover art belongs to this person and back cover art to this one. Individual tracks are listed below with relevant lyrics, there is a zip file with high quality cover-art included at the bottom of the post, or you could always opt to skip the bullshit and
LISTEN ONLINE?!

No song will ever express everything I feel about One Piece, however, the way that the new opening by Amuro Namie does (my bitter, overjoyed tears).

1. "maybe", the submarines

For such a long time now we're doing battle with our own familiar inhibitions; far away from home our trusty compass fails to find this strange and new position. Can we leave this struggle behind? maybe, maybe, maybe we're strong; maybe, maybe, maybe we're wrong.

2. "fools", the dodos

Our fathers have been entangled in things; he's been squandering, he's been squandering. And we don't do a thing, 'cause we're busy and think we're just wandering, we're just a-wandering like fools.

Too late to return to the ones that you've earned; no they don't give it back, no they don't give it back to fools. And the stance that we take isn't much to bear; yeah, we leave things to change on their time.

3. "cherry tulips", headlights

I want the sea; I want the whole sea (and endless cherries) for you and me (for crimson colors); for you and me (all just for you and me).

4. "the cave", mumford and sons

'Cause I need freedom now, and I need to know how to live my life as it's meant to be; and I will hold on hope, and I won't let you choke on the noose around your neck! And I'll find strength in pain, and I will change my ways. I'll know my name as it's called again.

5. "it's as clear", let's go sailing

It's as clear, it's as clear as the maps they drew for me and you when there were no rules. It's as clear, it's as clear as when we agree, as my silence screams when you're next to me. Ooh, ah! It's as clear, it's as clear as the games I won, as the arctic sun on my one man island. It's as clear, it's as clear as a little bit closer, as a rock and roll poster staring down on you and me. It's as clear it's as clear as the first time I looked out in the sky and realized how far away it felt.

6. "swansea", joanna newsom

And yonder, wild and blue, the wild blue yonder looms: 'til we are wracked with rheum by roads, by songs entombed. And all we want to do is chew, and chew, and chew! Dear one, drive on; when all we want to do is chew, and chew, and chew!

7. "folding chair", regina spektor

Just come and open up your folding chair next to me; my feet are buried in the sand and there's a breeze. There is a shadow, you can't see my eyes. And the sea is just a wetter version of the skies.

8. "your misfortune", mike doughty

When everybody says no, no, no, well it's your misfortune and none of my own - wrong, wrong, wrong; well it's your misfortune that sweetens my song. I can be the friend you want; I can be your confidante. I can be the right reminder at the right time, throwing out the lifeline. When your face is caked with mud come and speak to me. When the chill creeps in your blood seek my sympathy. I can be the air you drink, every single thought you think. I can be the right notion in the meantime, warm you like the sunshine. Stand in the light. Stand in the light. Stand in the light.

9. "moth's wings", passion pit

Dear friend, as you know: your flowers are withering, your mother's gone missing, your leaves have drifted away. But the clouds are clearing up and I've come reveling, burning incandescently like a bastard on the burning sea. You're just like your father buried deep under the water; you're resting on your laurels and stepping on my toes. Whose side are you on? What side is this anyway? Put down your sword and crown; come lay with me on the ground. You come beating like moth's wings, spastic and violently, whipping me into a storm, shaking me down to the core.

10. "be good", tokyo police club

It's been alright, but we have fought; ways of the samurai, parry, thrust, do or die: not the fighting type, not the killing kind. get the story down.

11. "polynesia", mother mother

We're on the sea; we're in a ship and we are sailing by all of the fish and all the octopi. We look them right into their octopi eyes. I'm on the sea; I caught a mermaid looking right at me. I said, "Hey, baby. Why don't you come up top? You could flip flop while we cruise the Florida Quays." Remember when we said, "You gonna see us on a red ship sailing"? We'll think of you on your solid ground; we hope you think of us out here sailing around, sailing around, sailing around, sailing.

Remember when we said, "you gonna see us with a sailor tan"? We'll think of you and your stark white hands; building your model ships, wishing you were sailing around, sailing around sailing around. sailing.

12. "oboes bleat and triangles tink", say hi to your mom

We can fly a kite in a lightning storm, but we can't stop this thing from what it's gonna be. Silly girl, that's just the way it is. How atoms turn to planets eventually. And oboes will bleat and the triangles tink, but we can't stop this thing from what it's gonna be.

13. "wavin' flag", k'naan

When I get older, I will be stronger. They'll call me freedom just like a wavin' flag.

♥ BONUS

DREAMIN!!! DON'T GIVE IT UP LUFFFFFY!!! FACE MADE OF RUBBER!!! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN!! YO HO HO HE TOOK A BITE OF GUM-GUM

L-A-D-Y NAMI'S NOT SHY!!!!!!!!

You didn't think I was gonna go without commenting on this, right?

>>ZIP FILE!<<
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２０１１年４月２３日・ Japan Probe: "Symbol of Hope: 1000-year-old Cherry Tree Blooms in Fukushima"

terrorcandy — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 14:19:22 GMT

A 1,000-year-old cherry tree in Fukushima prefecture is being seen as a symbol of hope after surviving the March 11th earthquake and beautifully blooming:

1000 tree 投稿者 weathersunksprb

The Miharu-Takizakura cherry tree, a national treasure located in Miharu, Fukushima, is one of only three of its kind in the country, dating back more than 1,000 years. It survived the devastation caused by the March 11 earthquake and tsunami which hit the prefecture, with Miharu town suffering collapsed houses and cracked roadways. This week, in a demonstration of resilience, the historic tree hit the peak of its springtime blooming, attracting an estimated 60,000 visitors to appreciate its pink flowers. Thousands of visitors have streamed around the tree despite the tourist office’s cancellation of special cherry tree viewing bus services and the absence of illumination.

04/23/2011 - japan probe

you'll put up a fight. don't regret how you lived. a means to an end.

terrorcandy — Wed, 06 Apr 2011 18:58:56 GMT

What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again.

The Hunger Games trilogy is a young-adult adventure science fiction series written by Suzanne Collins. The trilogy consists of three books, The Hunger Games, Catching Fire, and Mockingjay. The first two books were New York Times best sellers. The trilogy takes place in an unidentified future time period after the destruction of North America, in a nation known as "Panem." Panem is divided into a rich and decadent Capitol, located somewhere in the Rocky Mountains, and twelve surrounding, poorer districts which cater to the Capitol's needs. As punishment for a previous rebellion against the Capitol wherein the thirteenth district was supposedly destroyed, every year one boy and one girl from each of the remaining twelve districts, between the ages of twelve and eighteen, are selected by lottery and forced to participate in the "Hunger Games." The Games are essentially based on the same lines as "Battle Royale"; a televised event where the participants, called "tributes," must fight to the death in a dangerous outdoor arena until only one remains. The winning tribute and his/her corresponding district is then rewarded handsomely. It is required viewing for everyone in the districts.

Katniss Everdeen is the protagonist of the trilogy, a sixteen-year-old girl from District 12 who volunteers for the 74th Hunger Games in place of her younger sister Prim. Katniss somewhat unwittingly manages to kick off a rebellion within the Districts of Panem, and the books follow her adventures. I have an extremely tongue-in-cheek and somewhat whiny in-depth plot summary/Katniss biography available here; suffice it to say that in spite of Katniss' best intentions, everything starts bad and gets progressively worse.

I don't intend to write long commentary in this fst, and I'm hoping that the songs will speak for themselves. Tracks vaguely go in chronological order following the events of the trilogy, but I tend to sacrifice chronological order if I think it makes the mix stronger musically. Technically speaking you could view this fst as third in a series, with derogatory's general hunger games fst and dalton's Finnick Odair fst coming first. It can stand alone; I'd just have never read these books without those two's bullying.

The Hunger Games Trilogy and Katniss Everdeen belong to Suzanne Collins, music belongs to its respective artists. Individual tracks are listed below with relevant lyrics, there is a zip file with high quality cover-art included at the bottom of the post, or you could always opt to skip the bullshit and
LISTEN ONLINE?!

1. "arrow", kathryn calder

A shallow river by the road; soothe the tensions and turn them to skipping stones, and me by the shore. I noticed that day made me older than I was before. You say I'm too sad, well I happen to like it; I happen to like you too. Fire away, I'm still here in phantom wings. Fire away, I still have my better days. Fire away, what more can I do but say fire away, fire away.

2. "videotape", radiohead

You are my center when I spin away, out of control on videotape, on videotape, on videotape, on videotape, on videotape. This is my way of saying goodbye, 'cause I can't do it face to face. I'm talking to you before. No matter what happens now, you shouldn't be afraid. Because I know today has been the most perfect day I've ever seen.

3. "eyes on fire", blue foundation

I'm taking it slow, feeding my flame. Shuffling the cards of your game. And just in time, in the right place, suddenly I will play my ace. I won't soothe your pain, I won't ease your strain. You'll be waiting in vain; I got nothing for you to gain. Eyes on fire, your spine is ablaze, felling any foe with my gaze.

4. "arsenal", kidney thieves

Naive little pieces; she thought that they could see her. But soon the Desert Pigs will know: she's holding in an arsenal. She's a time bomb, with her vibe on; she's gonna use it and surprise them. She's a time bomb, with her vibe on; they'll never know where she got her weapon.

5. "metal heart", garbage

I wish I wasn't flesh and blood; I would not be scared of bullets built with me in mind, for then I could be saved. My sweet lord take care of me, for I think I'm done. Kiss my mother on her cheek and lay my burden down. But now that we know for sure they're telling lies when they say no one gets hurt and therefore nobody dies. You know it's hard to believe anything that you hear; They say the world is round, the world is round.

6. "in fact", gregory and the hawk

Step one: light me on fire; step two: walk clean away. I won't burn long, and evidence of your done wrong will be gone in seconds I swear.

7. "electric feel (mgmt cover)", cleast eastwood

All along the western front people line up to receive. She got the power in her hand to shock you like you won't believe. Saw her in the amazon with the voltage running through her skin; standing there with nothing on, she gonna teach me how to swim.

8. "sweetest kill", broken social scene

I thought you were the sweetest kill; did I even know? And all the time we thought we did, was it just for show? If they try to pull you out would you even go? I thought you were the sweetest kill, did you even know? I held your hand until the light. The scars were on the back. And all the time we were the right; was it just retract? And they can try to put you down, wear you out, get you through the idea of the luck. I thought you were the sweetest kill, did we even know?

9. "any other world", mika

In any other world you could tell the difference, and let it all unfurl into broken remnants. Smile like you mean it and let yourself let go. 'Cause it's all in the hands of a bitter, bitter man. Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in; take a bow, play the part of a lonely, lonely heart. Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in, to the world you thought you lived in.

10. "gravity", vienna teng

So don't turn away now; I am turning in revolution. These are the scars that silence carved on me. This the same place; no, not the same place. This is the same place, love; no, not the same place we've been before. Hey, love, I am a constant satellite
Of your blazing sun. My love, I obey your law of gravity. This is the fate you've carved on me

11. "redford (for yia-yia & pappou)", sufjan stevens

(instrumental)

12. "xavia", the submarines

I don't wanna be your favorite enemy; not when I can be loving you, alright. why can't it be? No two People feel the same way at the same time. Xavia, who will save us? Your smile's on fire and still my heart won't let you down: the sound. Everyone in this room, they've got troubles too, secret stories and lies that we never knew. You're going away (I don't wanna be), and I'm feeling the same (your favorite enemy) thing day after day (I don't wanna be). I can't let it go (your favorite enemy).

13. "the patriotism of reincarnation", danielle ate the sandwich

So we speak our peace and wipe our noses; we dig the holes and carve the tombstones, offering comfort in a hand on shoulder. Still no one knows now where he will go. I could be the worm in the apple; I could be the axe that chopped the cherry tree. I could be the glass of water on your bed side table. I could be any person place or thing you make of me. Reincarnation doesn’t seem half bad a plan, a plan. Reincarnation; make me anything you can.

14. "grizelda", yeasayer

I know, I know, I know, I know; every hour you're awake they'll be upping the price on your head. And now you're in reach, so watch where you sleep. They'll search day and night, can't forget what you do. You'll put up a fight; don't regret how you lived. A means to an end.

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「２０１１年３月１２日」　・　my coming, my going; two simple happenings that got entangled.

terrorcandy — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 17:51:15 GMT

This afternoon at a little before 3 PM shocks from a magnitude 8.9 earthquake hit Tokyo. I was in the Shibuya Red Cross waiting for my doctor's appointment. They'd just taken three vials of blood for tests. My first thought when everything started swaying was that I was passing out, and that I should have eaten a sandwich or something beforehand. My second thought was, oh my god, the last message I ever send anyone is going to be a string of needle and skull emoticons.

Following the initial earthquake there have been ongoing aftershocks, one in the 7-point range. There was a 30 ft tsunami. A nuclear reactor's cooling system began to fail. So far 137 have been confirmed dead, several hundred missing. The death count is only expected to rise. This quake was worse seismically than Kobe or Kanto. It was, according to many sources, the worst in Japanese history. I can't get in contact with a friend from Nanzan who is currently living in Sendai, where the worst hit, with her husband. She's pregnant, in her third trimester. I just can't.

When the first little quake hit before the big one I held on to my chair, looked around for reassurance. An older lady sitting behind me noted to her friend, "she isn't used to it." Not in a condescending way. I tried not to cry anyway, wondered if they'd bother identifying my body if the building collapsed around us. We rode out the big one together. It went on for ages. I thought it was never going to end. Every time I thought "is it over?" a new quake started. Between two big ones I went into the ladies' room, braced myself against the wall and sobbed for what felt like hours but must've just been a few minutes. Afterwards I redid my makeup, tried to scrub away the blotchiness. Ultimately the hospital just started dealing with the aftershocks. They hit a manageable level. They called me in for my appointment, finally. My doctor didn't even express surprise regarding the quake. Maybe he didn't know. I thought the shaking was terrifying when it was happening, but there's no comparison to the video I saw later on tv. He told me my results were positive, showed me another graph. My "rheumatoid factor" is going down. He dropped my painkiller dosage, upped my anti-inflammatories, sent me on my way.

I don't think it's really possible to explain a natural disaster, what it feels like. I feel condescending saying it like that, but it's the only way I can hope to explain it. I was holding on for dear life, thinking, I've got to find somewhere to run - but where could I go? It isn't as if the hospital and only the hospital was swaying. Even outside, there'd be new things to fall and topple and kill me. There was no escape, save leaving the island. I was completely powerless. It felt like the world itself was trying to kill me. No way out. There was literally nothing for me to do but hold on, fight back tears, trust Japanese architecture and my own dumb luck and bank all of my good karma on being alive at the end of it. The quakes kept coming and coming. I kept looking to everyone in authority positions - older people, nurses, doctors, the man at the counter giving me my medicine. In the back of my head, I was screaming, is this normal? this many aftershocks? when will this stop? will this stop? But inevitably, that's not something they'd know, is it? Probably they were just as scared as I was.

I had to put off paying my bill until my next appointment because the hospital's credit card machines were down. I sat down in the hall for a bit next to an old lady and ate a sandwich. I told her, they build these places to last, don't they? She saw my hand shaking, looked like she couldn't decide whether to take it or not. She told me I was very good at seiza, instead. Eventually they started asking for volunteer ambulance drivers. I walked over there, remembered my international driver's license is in my apartment. I hopped on the bus, took it halfway to Shibuya. There were too many cars in the street, we weren't making any progress. I got off a mile or two before my stop. They'd cleared a lane on the road and let pedestrians, hundreds of them, into it, because glass from knocked-out windows had shattered onto the sidewalk. I went into a convenience store when the ground started shaking again and bought a beer. I chugged it in front of the store and then kept walking. Trains out of Shibuya station aren't running, so there were literally thousands of people trapped there. I shoved my way home, up the stairs to my apartment. Turned on the TV and started crying all over again when I saw the damage elsewhere.

This quake was worse than Kobe or Kanto. It was, according to many sources, the worst in Japanese history. But we've learned from that history, especially in Tokyo. In the end I was completely unharmed. A single plate fell off of my kitchen counter where I'd set it. It shattered easily into three pieces - no muss, no fuss. Got an email from the Center confirming that all staff and students are safe. I was completely, totally, unbelievably lucky. If they hadn't replaced all of the TV with news about the damage (which I've kept on in case of alerts) I could close my blinds and pretend that I haven't turned the heater on to save money, that I just don't want to cook with the stove. But the tremors haven't stopped even now. They say we'll have aftershocks into next week. At first I burst into tears every time I felt a tremor. Now I just start trembling. But I haven't really stopped trembling this whole time, to be honest. Every time I hear rattling I jump. I am terrified in a way I can't explain well - like the first time I saw The Ring and for the rest of the month my mind conjured up images of all the ways that could happen to me, but worse. I got two hours of sleep last night - was planning on taking a nap when I got home from the doctor. I doubt I'll sleep tonight. I think - hope - I'll get over this enduring fear. But right now it's like riding it out in the lobby of the Red Cross Shibuya, internal medicine. Holding on. Holding my breath. Reminding myself it couldn't possibly go on forever, that at some point, come what may, it had to end.

Thank you to everyone for your messages and concern. I've never been simultaneously so angry and so thankful for social networking in my life; thankful that I was able to get in touch with everyone so fast, and furious in a bitter, irrational way that in other places life goes on when I feel like mine is at a standstill, even crumbling.

None of it makes any sense. How can scanlations be coming out for series when I'm not sure if the mangaka are safe? How can the dailypixiv tumblr be running when pixiv is down? How can it be that some chick on facebook is updating about her husband giving her flowers when there are so many people who'll never see each other again? How can so many people just be made homeless all at once? How could this have happened? How can it be that there was nowhere I could have run.

Please keep my friend in your thoughts. Keep everyone here in your thoughts. I am just at a loss.

there's no mistaking that rome is gonna be mine. it's just a matter of time.

terrorcandy — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 13:05:35 GMT

In Tokyo's downtown district of Ikebukuro, amidst many strange rumors of anonymous gangs, horrible slashings and human trafficking, one urban legend stands out above the rest – the existence of a headless “Black Rider” who is said to be seen driving a jet-black motorcycle through the city streets.

Ryuugamine Mikado has always longed for the excitement of the city life, and an invitation from a childhood friend convinces him to move to Tokyo. Witnessing the Black Rider on his first day in the city, his wishes already seem to have been granted. But as supernatural events begin to occur, ordinary citizens like himself, along with Ikebukuro's most colorful inhabitants, are mixed up in the commotion breaking out in their city.

Durarara!! is a series of light novels (and eventually a 24-episode anime) written by Narita Ryohgo (the creator of Baccano) and focused on Ikebukuro's major warring factions - the Yellow Scarves, the Blue Squares, and a mysterious new group known only as the Dollars - and the supernatural and mundane forces that connect them. Although the two main characters are ostensibly Mikado and the Black Rider - Celty, a dullahan (a type of Irish spirit) working as an underworld courier while searching for her missing head - the cast of the series is massive and the plotline follows them mostly equally, showing how their lives intersect and painting the greater plot in broad strokes from what each character knows about a common incident.

In light of this character-driven style, this fst is also mostly character-driven. Each song is for a character or a relationship (Van Full of Nerds counts as a unit, obviously); but, like the novels, in spite of this the completed work is ultimately about Celty, Mikado, and Ikebukuro itself. Although it's not particularly chronologically organized, it covers the events of the anime (sorry to the Aoba fans!! I can't justify reading someone else's translation of the novels, but I am a slow reader).

Durarara!! belongs to Narita Ryohgo and Brain's Base. The fanart used for the cover of this mix belongs to the artist. Music belongs to its respective creators. There are massive spoilers for the series in the text below, so if you don't want to be spoiled, you should avoid it. Individual tracks are listed below with relevant lyrics, there is a zip file with high quality cover-art included at the bottom of the post, or you could always opt to skip the bullshit and
LISTEN ONLINE?!

1. "idea for a story", bloc party

self content for the young, the younger beset. history will always eat itself. rich boys, they just need a hand or a good old fashioned war. wouldn't it be too divine? with a start, middle and an end? wouldn't it be too divine if we could see a way out?

MIKADO: And at that moment, I noticed that my body was shaking. I wasn't afraid; probably, I was kind of touched. I saw something amazing. Here, in this town, I experienced something I'd never have been able to imagine. I felt like the reality I thought I'd never obtain was spreading out before my eyes. It seems like a contradiction with my first impression, but at least it's how it felt at that moment. I shook as I felt my own reality opening before me.

2. "shine a light", wolf parade

i keep my head up tight, i make my plans at night, and i don't sleep i don't sleep i don't sleep 'til it's light. some folks float and some are buried alive.

MASAOMI: I understand how you feel. If you ride the train, people treat you like a molester! If you walk in the streets, you get weird invitations!! And when you go home, you encounter troubles with your neighbor!!! And there's the Dollars and the headless rider to worry about. This is what Tokyo, the jungle made of concrete, is about! But! you must get over it! If you swore to yourself to become an upstanding Ikebukuronese you must undergo the ordeal, Mikado! Ryuugamine, Mikado!! Well, don't worry too much; you've got me on your side.

3. "do what you want", ok go

me, i was raised amid the trickle-down days. i woke up numb in the haze, and saw my future in a machine built for two. but the light gave me some kind of fright; how did wrong get so right and lead me stumbling through the dark of night?

ERIKA: A great man once said that the world is a myth. At least I think he must've said it, anyway. Even if he didn't, I'm sure someone said something similar. To us, the realm of fiction is as important as reality. The two are equal. So it's not really like we dislike reality.

4. "dance hymn of the 80s", regina spektor

an addiction to hands and feet- there's a meat market down the street. the boys and girls watch each other eat when they really just wanna watch each other sleep.

The girl would never be able to interact with Harima Mika the same way again. Whether that's a good thing or a bad thing, only she knows. But is that true? Maybe humans don't even understand themselves, ultimately. All they can do is keep evolving. After doing something so brave, he thought he could do anything. He never thought for a split second that it would take so much courage to ask out a girl from the same class.

Time remaining until the boy reaches the girl: thirty seconds. Time remaining until he finds his best friend hitting on the girl: thirty-five seconds. Time remaining until he delivers a powerful kick to his best friend: forty-five seconds. Time remaining until the girl turns down his offer of tea: seventy-five seconds. Time remaining until he asks her to eat lunch on the roof together: seventy-eight seconds. Time remaining until he falls in love with her...

5. "rejoice", andrew jackson jihad

rejoice despite the fact this world will kill you. rejoice despite the fact this world will tear you to shreds. rejoice because you're trying your best.

SHIZUO: No, Celty. Honestly, I'm happy. I hated this power so much. Hated it! I thought no one would accept me. But... well, let's see here. This many people. How many? Anyway, a lot. So, then it's okay. It's okay for me to accept my own existence. I can come to like myself. This power that I hated so much, that I wished I could get rid of... it's fine to use it all, right? Aah, by the way, you all ain't my type. Not at all, not a drop.

6. "rome", yeasayer

there's no mistaking that rome is gonna be mine; it's just a matter of, it's just a matter of, it's just a matter of time.

IZAYA: I don't believe in god. There's no proof he exists. In a world where there isn't even proof of the future, the past exists. Even if it's tainted with misunderstandings and delusions, if the people themselves believe in it, the past is the truth to them. And, if you base your actions or your life around it, in a way, it's a type of god itself.

7. "welcome to the slaughterhouse", lily holbrook

no more screams or shouts; you're quiet as a mouse, and in this slaughterhouse is there no way out of here? they feed the fears and hide the grief of burden; these gods, kings, and queens won't even dream of peace.

ANRI: It's nothing like easy. Living depending on people. I think "parasite" is a good way to put it. But how much a parasite sacrifices just so it won't be chased off - do you understand that?

8. "chop 'em down", matisyahu

in the spiritual desert things are not what they seem; snakes camouflaged just fit the scene. put your faith in a mirage, it's just a smoke screen. the king is sitting on his throne of glory.

IZAYA: As long as I exist, I don't care if I go to hell or heaven, or if there's suffering there. But if I have a choice, I'd rather go to heaven. Hey, Namie-san, let's all go to heaven together!

9. "rebellion (lies)", the arcade fire

people say that your dreams are the only things that save ya. come on baby, in our dreams we can live on misbehavior. every time you close your eyes: lies, lies!

SHINRA: Because I love you. That's why I kept quiet about it. You'd go off somewhere if you found it. I couldn't bear it. I won't say that if it's for the sake of your happiness I'll give up. This is a fight with our love at stake. I'll never let you go. To make sure I don't, I'll exploit other's love, their deaths, myself, and - this may sound contradictory - your feelings.

10. "you and me", delays

yeah we can lay low tonight; no i don't have the will to fight my president or his denials. you & me coulda been fine. oh we can lay low tonight; we can set the flag alight. we're clawing back the time when youth was on our side.

MASAOMI: I could splash cold water over him, but when I see that gleam in his eye it holds me back. So I at least try to watch over him and stay by his side. If I can help it, I'd rather he didn't get too close to the darkness of this city. I also... decided in my heart that I'd never go there again.

11. "anon", capitol k

in this desert to the east, anon talks for all his dreams: how he walked a century waiting for the peace.

MIKADO: I don't have the strength or wisdom to stand up against someone who is insusceptible to reason. You won't even give me time to make an effort. That's why I'm going to rely on numbers!

12. "descend", homestuck

[instrumental]

KANRA: The Slasher was never caught, right? So the Yellow Scarves are saying it was a member of the Dollars, and the Dollars are saying it was a member of the yellow scarves. At this rate, it's gonna be a real gang war.

TANAKA TARO: I can't let this happen. I have to do something.

KANRA: Ehhh, I don't know. At this point, it might be too late.

TANAKA TARO: Even so, I have to do something.

13. "6 underground", sneaker pimps

don't think 'cause i understand i care; don't think 'cause i'm talking we're friends. overground, watch this space; i'm open to falling from grace.

I have to do something, the girl with the blade inside of her thought. I have to do something, thought the girl who'd watched the world through a frame. But the boy who'd come through the frame and into her world was already enslaved, bound by the chains of his past.

14. "the end of a spark", tokyo police club

under our bed, a monster lives; we fight his teeth with superglue and paper clips. mark the end of an age; the way that your handwriting changed. we should always pretend. well, you just start and i'll say when.

MIKADO: He'll come back. Masaomi will definitely come back. So when he does, let's get mad at him. Let's get really mad at him while laughing!

ANRI: The two of us together... right.

15. "crash years", the new pornographers

the skirts go up before the war among the madding crowds. they're ruined like the rest of us ruined, rest of us ruined.

MIKADO: The everyday life that'd been the three of us changed. Even so, the town is the same as always. And so is everyone else. Will our lost everyday lives never come back to us? But I learned one thing. The Dollars are the town itself. A lot of people arrive, and a lot of people leave, never in the same colors. Something is always happening. People are hating each other, loving each other, becoming friends and drifting apart. In the same way a town exists, as long as there are people, the Dollars will continue to exist. A place to come home to. Lost days. Those certainly existed on the net.

16. "skinny fists", christians and lions

"we're only starting a racket 'cause you've started a racket!" i scream, "we only want to level this city because things are so uneven!" but i don't think they can hear me.

MIKADO: I love clichés, I love predictable scripts, I love it when they paste over problems and I love it when they force a happy ending too. What's wrong with working towards that?

17. "weighty ghost", wintersleep

don't need no surgery, take those knives away from me. just wanna die in my own body; a ghost just needs a home. where oh where'd my body go? africa or mexico? where or where'd my body go? where'd my body go?

CELTY:

>>ZIP FILE!<<
MEGAUPLOAD MIRROR

sixty-five years (and three days; as always, i'm a little late).

terrorcandy — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 23:43:34 GMT

Before I got there, the only thing I knew about Hiroshima was that we had dropped an atomic bomb on it. For me, Hiroshima was that menacing mushroom cloud. I expected it to be a mournful memorial city, perpetually wrapped in gloom, a place where every activity would be dampened and shadowed by the terrible thing that had happened there. I wondered if its residents would despise me, maybe confront me angrily, for having the insensitivity to come to a place where my county had caused so much pain.

But life, as has been noted, goes on. And it has definitely gone on in Hiroshima, which is, on the surface anyway, an ordinary, busy Japanese city, with stores and streetcars and gardens and temples and an old castle for tourists to visit.

The atomic bomb, too, has become a kind of tourist attraction. Visitors get their pictures taken standing in front of various bomb-related sites and memorials; the people - especially the younger ones - are often smiling, sometimes laughing, like tourists standing in front of the World's Largest Ball of Twine.

We chose to be in Hiroshima on August 5th, the anniversary of the attack. Along with thousands of other visitors, we attended the annual memorial ceremony, held in the morning, when the bomb had been dropped. On our way in, some Boy Scouts gave us flowers to place on the memorial to those who died. The crowd - around us, anyway - seemed quite cheerful. Our interpreter, Yuka Yamaoka, told us that the anniversary activities have taken on an almost festive tone over the years. She said that many A-bomb survivors resent this and no longer attend the public events, preferring to hold private services.

There was an unusually large contingent of media people on hand for the ceremony, because news was going to be made: the mayor of Hiroshima, in his official peace declaration, was going to include, for the first time, a brief statement acknowledging Japan's guilt for the suffering it had caused in Asian countries during World War II.

Japan, as you surely know, has been much criticized for allegedly failing to take responsibility for its actions before and during the war. Critics charge that Japan has tried to position itself as a victim, forced to fight in self-defense against racist Western nations that would never allow Japan to achieve its rightful place in the world. Critics also charge that the Japanese tend to equate the bombing of Hiroshima with the attack on Pearl Harbor, the two events canceling each other out, with neither side holding the moral high ground. These are still very sensitive topics in Japan, and the debate continues to rage between those who want Japan, the land of harmony and nonconfrontation, to confront its history, and those who see no point in dredging up all this nonharmonious unpleasantness, fifty years later.

But the dropping of the A-bomb is definitely, and understandably, remembered in Japan. The problem, for some, is how it's remembered and its historical context or lack of it. [...]

This is why it was considered newsworthy that the mayor of Hiroshima, Takashi Hiraoka, acknowledged Japanese guilt in his Peace Declaration during the memorial ceremony. The translation of his speech said:
Japan inflicted great suffering and despair on the peoples of Asia and the Pacific during its reign of colonial domination and war. There can be no excuse for these actions. This year marks the fiftieth anniversary of the start of the Pacific War. Remembering all too well the horror of this war, starting with the attack on Pearl Harbor and ending with the atomic bomb, we are determined to work anew for world peace.

The ceremony was held outdoors in Peace Memorial Park, near the center of the blast zone. We sat with the crowd on folding chairs, facing the Memorial Cenotaph, which contains the names of the bomb victims. A stage had been erected for dignitaries and speakers; we listened through earphones to a running translation. For me, the most moving moment came at the beginning - the ritual offering of water by representatives of the victims' families. After the bomb blast, many of the dying cried out constantly for water - mizu - but there was none; now, finally, they receive it.

It was a hot, still morning. It became almost unbearably still at eight-fifteen, when one minute of silence was observed, during which you could imagine the sound, precisely forty-six years earlier, of a B-29 droning overhead. Then a bell tolled, the mayor gave his peace declaration, and some doves were set free.

Until then the commentary had been simple, brief, and powerful. Then the politicians spoke, five of them, including the prime minister, Toshiki Kaifu. Five men in virtually identical dark suits giving virtually identical, mechanical, banal speeches. All of them were sorry, from the bottom of their hearts. All of them offered their condolences to the victims' families. All of them hoped this would never happen again. All of them were for peace.

I guess all politicians, from all over the world, attend some school where they learn how to reduce anything - anything - to verbal sludge. Granted, it has to be difficult for politicians to talk about Hiroshima, because what can they say?

So maybe they shouldn't say anything.

After the ceremony we moved forward with the crowd toward the cenotaph, where we left the flowers that the Boy Scouts had given us. I wanted this to be a moving moment, but it wasn't, at least not for me. The crow was packed together, with people jostling, talking, shoving forward. It was like exiting from a basketball game. I thrust my arm forward through the crowd, put my flowers down, and turned away.

We also went through the memorial museum. Some of the exhibitions are scientific, explaining how big the atomic fireball was, how big the blast area was, how the radiation sickness advanced, how many people died. But the most powerful exhibits are intensely personal: charred clothing,; twisted eyeglass frames; a dark human shape on some granite steps caused when a person's body blocked the blast rays, a shadow of death.

I found myself weeping, out of sorrow and helplessness and guilt. But I also felt anger. Because the way the museum presents it, the atomic bomb was like a lightning bolt - something nobody could foresee, and nobody could prevent. It was as though one day, for no reason, the Americans came along, literally out of the blue, and did this horrible thing to these innocent people.

I don't know if it's possible to justify what happened to Hiroshima - I certainly wouldn't want to try to justify it to the victims' families. But I found myself wanting to shout to the other museum visitors: Do you know WHY my country did this? Do you wonder what would make a civilized country do such a thing? I'm not sure that I know the answer, but the museum doesn't even address the question. And I don't think just saying "No more Hiroshimas" over and over again, like a mantra, is enough to guarantee that it will never happen again.

That evening we returned to the Peace Park to watch the candle boats - little paper boats, thousands of them, floating down the river, each carrying a lit candle, symbolizing a victim. It's a lovely sight, and it drew a huge crowd, in a fine mood; families were talking and laughing, kids were racing around, vendors were hawking shaved ice cones and glowing plastic bracelets. It was a carnival atmosphere. You could see that, in another fifty years, this anniversary will have lost all its meaning, the way that for many people in the United States, Memorial Day means nothing more than picnics and softball.

I didn't want this. I wanted Hiroshima to be reverent that night, or introspective, or even angry. Anything but festive.

Of course it doesn't matter what I want. Nobody I know suffered here. I have no right to tell the Japanese how to remember Hiroshima. And of course there's no way I could know what each person along that river was thinking, watching those little flickering candles drift toward the sea.

Dave Barry
Dave Barry Does Japan
Chapter 10: Hiroshima
1992

and you, you could read me anything.

terrorcandy — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 03:48:37 GMT

It's easy to confuse attachment to a place and people, and more subtly, to a language, with patriotism. They may overlap, but they're not the same, contrary to what flag-wavers the world over would have us believe. There are institutions that, intentionally or not, promote such confusion. International athletic competitions are enormously effective. In the 1970s I happened to be in Central Park when the leading runners for the New York City Marathon came in. To my surprise, I found myself moved, nearly to tears, to recognize a Japanese runner in the pack. Some people had rising sun flags. I had nothing to wave. Tardily and inaudibly, I cheered the runner in Japanese. Nearly a decade had passed since the Tokyo Olympics, and I was still thinking of Japanese as underdogs in the world arena. Besides, I missed speaking the language, achingly. For such a miscellany of sensations, the flag is always a convenient, and too often a deadly, simplifier.

Norma Field
In the Realm of a Dying Emperor
A Postscript on Japan Bashing
June 1992

well the sun rose with so many colors it nearly broke my heart.

terrorcandy — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 19:25:42 GMT

Summer Wars is a 2009 film produced by Madhouse, the same people who created The Girl Who Leapt Through Time. The movie is set in a universe which is essentially identical to our own; the only real difference is the existence of OZ, a massive computer-simulated virtual world that acts as a combination internet/cell-phone/personal and/or business network. The film focuses on Kenji, a timid eleventh-grade math genius who is a low-grade moderator of OZ. At the beginning of summer vacation, he is asked by Natsuki, one of the most popular girls in his school, to help in celebrating her great-grandmother's 90th birthday. Although Kenji does not know the details of the plan, he agrees and goes with Natsuki to her grandmother's estate in Ueda, Nagano Prefecture. Much to Kenji's surprise, he is introduced at the Jinnouichi clan's family house as Natsuki's fiancé.

As Kenji tries to act the part, he receives a mysterious e-mail with a mathematics code. He cracks the code and returns it to the sender but finds himself at the center of a developing news story the following day. Overnight, OZ has been hacked and he is the prime suspect, as his account has been stolen by a mysterious online entity known as "Love Machine." With the aid of Natsuki's family, Kenji must deal with the fallout when the real and virtual worlds collide, and ultimately must fight to save the world... USING MATH!!

Like all Madhouse films, Summer Wars is visually stunning, with scenes of everyday Japanese life rendered in loving (and, if you're depressed about how much you miss it, intensely depressing) detail. More than that, however, the movie is about love and about duty and above all else about the importance of family. I laughed until I cried, I bawled until I couldn't breathe, I felt good at the end of everything. If you haven't given it a watch yet, I can't stress enough how much you need to!

Madhouse films rely pretty heavily on mood, so I tried to do the same with this fst, meaning that I chose songs that I felt "felt" like the movie instead of focusing on matching lyrics to the events of the movie. It's pretty much chronological in terms of events; it'll make more sense if you've seen the movie, but I have been assured you don't need to have to enjoy the music. There will be some spoilers for the plot of the movie in my commentary; I'll try to be oblique, but if you are really spoilerphobic I suggest you stay away from the meta until after you've seen the movie. Zip file of the whole thing is at the bottom; alternatively, right after this section there is a link to my 8tracks page, where you can listen to the whole fst online. Summer Wars belongs to Madhouse, all music belongs to their respective artists.

skip the bullshit and
LISTEN ONLINE?!

1. "a hill with no name (名もなき丘)", yoshida brothers
[Instrumental]

Just a brief instrumental introduction; this movie has a love affair with old Japanese houses and the Japanese countryside, and I am all over it. Kenji gets hired for a four day long part-time job with Natsuki, a popular upperclassman. The job is pretty simple - go out to Natsuki's family home in Ueda and help out with her grandmother's 90th birthday. Cue a really, really lovely sequence in which they ride the varied types of transportation necessary to get from Tokyo to a huge-ass samurai-era house on the edge of a mountain.

2. "did you see the words", animal collective
Should you go home? There's something starting; don't know why. And in a house so cozy, few words are spoken; let's take our shoes off and unwind when there's minuets off in the background drowning out. Eyes off, ears off: test the kiss goodnight. Don't keep my loving on my mind.

More starting songs; the movie is still warming up, and Kenji is introduced to Natsuki's grandmother as her lover. Uncomfortable maiden feelings ensue, and let me assure you it is not Natsuki who's all confused and girlish.

3. "love and mathematics", broken social scene
[Instrumental]

Lol so Kenji is really good at math, he almost qualified for math Olympiad before he choked like a little girl, this is a recurring theme. He also has it really, REALLY bad for Natsuki.

4. "seashell", seabear
And then tonight I'll dive into your eyes; will we feel like this for the rest of our lives?

Okay, I am still just warming up. The Jinnouichi clan is really, really boisterous and really, really close, and you will never remember everyone's names. The movie takes a long time setting them all up, and so am I.

5. "it's cool to love your family", feist
It's cool it's cool to love your family. I know because I love them more and more.

IT'S A REALLY BIG, REALLY SPRAWLING, REALLY INTRUSIVE AND INTERROGATES YOUR NEW BOYFRIEND FAMILY, and Kenji is pretty much thrust straight in the middle of it.

6. "death wish", force of nature, nujabes, fat john
[Instrumental]

KING KAZMA vs. Love Machine.

7. "the prayer (hadouken remix)", bloc party feat. hadouken
Is it so wrong to crave recognition? Second best, runner up. Is it so wrong to want rewarding, to want more than is given to you?

Wabisuke.

8. "somedays", regina spektor
Some days aren't yours at all; they come and go as if they're someone else's days.

Tragedy strikes, my heart is broken.

9. "kei to kyoko to nozomi", james iha
[Instrumental]

[Natsuki and Kenji are sitting next to each other on the side of the house, looking out over the morning glories. Natsuki has a single tear in her eyes; suddenly, she speaks.]

NATSUKI: Stop them. The tears. [She inches her pinky finger toward Kenji, not looking at him.] Hold me here. Please stop them. [Kenji looks first at her, then at her finger, before tentatively reaching out and gripping her pinky. At the contact, Natsuki begins to sob. Kenji pulls his hand away at first, then takes her hand in his. Natsuki sobs harder and harder as their fingers intertwine.]

10. "challengers", the new pornographers
On the walls of the day, in the shade of the sun we wrote down another vision of us; we were the challengers of the unknown.

"No, what you said was correct. 'You have to protect others in order to protect yourself.'"
"Is that the motto of the JSDF?"
"No, a line from 'The Seven Samurai.'"

11. "the price of gas", bloc party
I can tell you how this ends; we're going to win this.

SHOWDOWN IN UEDA CASTLE, SANADA YUKIMURA-STYLE

12. "laser beams", wintersleep
Stare so deep into the laptop light; sip your coffee and stare like you got somethin to say, but you can't say it 'cause it just ain't there anymore.

"Family should never let go of one another. You should never admit defeat in life. And although you may have hard and painful times, I want you all to sit together and eat dinner as a family. The worst things in the world are being hungry and being alone."

13. "after all", dar williams
Well the sun rose with so many colors it nearly broke my heart, and worked me over like a work of art and I was a part of all that. So go ahead, push your luck. Say what it is you've got to say to me. We will push on into that mystery, and it'll push right back, and there are worse things than that, 'cause for every price and every penance that I could think of, it's better to have fallen in love than never to have fallen at all. 'Cause when you live in a world, well it gets in to who you thought you'd be. And now I laugh at how the world changed me; I think life chose me after all.

>>ZIP FILE!<<
MEGAUPLOAD MIRROR

my strength has come from loving you.

terrorcandy — Sat, 15 May 2010 04:08:12 GMT

Rakushun lifted his beady eyes and looked into Yoko's. "I can't figure out why this is such a tough decision for you."

"It's tough, because I can't do what they're asking of me."

"Why not?"

"I know what kind of person I am, incomplete, half-baked, despicable. I'm no king. I'm no one special at all."

"Yoko, I don't think --"

"You say you're half human, Rakushun? Well, so am I. I might look like a person, but inside I'm just a beast."
The Twelve Kingdoms: Sea of Shadow
Ono Fuyumi

but your lows will have their complement of highs.

terrorcandy — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 05:34:56 GMT

Heyyy, so as I think I have mentioned a few times in the last couple of weeks, I have been super into shoujo manga for like, absolutely no reason whatsoever, so! Normally I hate shoujo with a burning passion - I don't really know how to explain it to you, but I just am not particularly interested in feelings and relationships and blah blah blah when these people could be punching each other instead!! So I guess consider this my list of shoujo series a shoujo-hater loves, I guess.

花ざかりの君たちへ
(HANAZAKARI NO KIMITACHI E, HANAKIMI, FOR YOU IN FULL BLOOM)

PLOT SUMMARY: Ashiya Mizuki, a Japanese girl living in the United States, watches a program on TV featuring a high jumper named Sano Izumi. She was amazed by his performance and begins following his athletic career. Years later, she does research on him and discovers that he is currently attending Osaka High School. The school is unfortunately an all-boys school and Mizuki convinces her parents to send her to Japan. Oblivious to the fact that their daughter is going to attend a boys school, her parents let her go. To enter the school, she cuts off her long hair, disguises herself as a male, and tries her best to give hope to Sano after hearing that he no longer does the high jump anymore. As she settles in, an accident reveals her identity to the school doctor and Sano. Sano hides his knowledge of Mizuki's gender and tries to help her keep her secret, though it sure isn't easy as many situations land Mizuki in compromising positions that will reveal her true gender.

IN TEN WORDS OR LESS: Wacky crossdressing hijinks and lots of cuddling.

WHY IT'S GOOD: Totally different from the probably more famous live action drama starring Oguri Shun, and in my opinion a thousand times better. This one is a classic, all right, it is consistently fabulous all the time. It's long, twenty-three volumes, but it never really seems to get stale or slow down; a lot of shoujo manga that runs for a long time seems to fall into a pattern of repeating itself, or the characters get frustrating - that isn't the case for Hanakimi. The series stays consistently wonderful right through the end, and although it is a really classic shoujo series with not a whole lot to differentiate it from other series, it is just so solid throughout that it is really worth a try.

WHERE YOU CAN READ IT: ONEMANGA (complete).

高校デビュー
(KOUKOU DEBUT, HIGH SCHOOL DEBUT)

PLOT SUMMARY: Nagashima Haruna gave her all to softball in middle school; now that she has made her high school debut, she has decided to give her all for a new goal: getting a boyfriend and falling in love. However, she has one small problem—since she never paid any attention to fashion or trends in middle school, she has no idea how to go about attracting her yet-to-be-found love. But a chance encounter with Komiyama Yoh, the school prince, provides her with the opportunity she needs. If he coaches her in how to become attractive, surely she can find herself a boyfriend. Yoh agrees to coach Haruna after seeing her persistence and heart, but he tells her she mustn't fall in love with him; of course, that is exactly what happens.

IN TEN WORDS OR LESS: Doing it right.

WHY IT'S GOOD: Everyone has read this, I think, but I necessarily have to include it in a rec list because it completely and totally rocked my socks off. The setup is the same as nearly every other shoujo out there, and many of the same tropes appear - the thing is that the main characters consistently shake off those tropes, cementing themselves as real, likable people. See:

Situation: Haruna and Yoh have started dating (SPOILER okay come on this is shoujo, of course they do). A new school year has started, resulting in a number of girls being unwilling to believe that Haruna is Yoh's girlfriend (because he is a sexy beast and she is ridiculous).

Ugh I can't even. Stop arguing, start reading.

WHERE YOU CAN READ IT: ONEMANGA (complete).

ふしぎ遊戯玄武開伝
(FUSHIGI YUUGI GENBU KAIDEN)

PLOT SUMMARY: In Japan of 1923, a seventeen year-old girl named Okuda Takiko is living with her ill mother after recently moving to a small town. Her father comes home one day (he's never home, being a busy novelist), much to Takiko's chagrin. He apparently has been working on something called "The Universe of the Four Gods" and even after returning home, is obsessed with the book. Her mother soon dies and Takiko becomes angry at her father for ignoring the two of them. These feelings, paired with her feelings of loneliness and uselessness at being rejected both in love and by her father, lead her to attempt to tear the book apart. However, it instead whisks her away to the country of Hokkan where all of her adventures begin.

IN TEN WORDS OR LESS: Miaka got all the hot seishi.

WHY IT'S GOOD: You remember Fushigi Yuugi, right? It was that terrible, terrible series that was super popular under the name "The Mysterious Play" in the mid-to-late nineties! You know, about that girl who got whisked off to ancient China to summon a mystical god with the help of her seven warriors, all of who except for the ugly guy, the minor, and the monk fell madly in love with her (yeah, even the crossdresser)! Remember how in that story we had a plot where the Suzaku Shichiseishi fought the ghosts of two Genbu Warriors, and they told Miaka and co about how their priestess died horribly and no one was ever happy again?

Things were worse for the priestess of Genbu than we ever heard. First of all, she was a pretty modern girl living in Taisho-era Japan. Her Dad didn't love her and her Mom died of TB, and SPOILERS she totally has TB too. This series is fantastic just because Genbu totally got the short end of the stick on the seishi draw - she's got the two hot dudes from the original series, but only one of them is in love with her; her other seishi are like two evil guys, a fat kid in a basket, a rock, and a prostitute, and her love interest's seishi power is that he totally turns into a woman, no I am not kidding. So great.

WHERE YOU CAN READ IT: ONEMANGA (ongoing; on hiatus).

ゴールデン・デイズ
(GOLDEN DAYS)

PLOT SUMMARY: Feeling rebellious toward his overprotective mother, Soma Mitsuya, a first-year high school student, only cares about his violin and his hospitalized grandfather. On the night his grandfather’s condition suddenly worsens, an earthquake hits, sending Mitsuya to 1921 in the Taisho era.

IN TEN WORDS OR LESS: Oh my god, Grandpa was a homo!!

WHY IT'S GOOD: A series for those of you into shonen-ai; Mitsuya pretty quickly finds out that his grandfather had, among any number of other secrets, a male best friend who was exceptionally, exceptionally fond of him. Throughout the series Mitsuya is confronted with and attempts to fix and deal with the troubles faced by his new friends, and in doing so manages somehow to begin to heal himself from a terrible trauma in his past. This is a really wonderful, bittersweet series, more about the kind of friendship and love that can span lifetimes rather than it is about love confessions and Valentine's Day; it is massively underrated and I really can't recommend it enough.

WHERE YOU CAN READ IT: MANGAFOX (manga complete; scanlations ongoing).

風光る
(KAZE HIKARU, SHINING WIND)

PLOT SUMMARY: In the year 1863, a time fraught with violent social upheaval, samurai warriors of all walks of life flock to Kyoto in the hope of joining the Mibu-Roshi, a band of warriors united around their undying loyalty to the Shogunate system. In time, this group would eventually become one of the greatest (and most famous) movements in Japanese history...the Shinsengumi!

Into this fierce milieu steps Kamiya Seizaburo, a young, would-be warrior who, though lacking in combat experience, possesses a fiery enthusiasm to both aid the Mibu-Roshi in their mission and to avenge his wrongfully murdered family. One of the Mibu-Roshi's most gifted (and immature) swordsmen, the legendary Okita Soji, agrees to take Seizaburo under his wing. But what no one suspects, least of all Soji, is that Seizaburo is actually a girl named Tominaga Sei in disguise!

IN TEN WORDS OR LESS: Bushi over flowers.

WHY IT'S GOOD: Ugh will you look at the PLOT SUMMARY she JOINS THE SHINSENGUMI AND HER LOVE INTEREST IS OKITA SOUJI. The manga is only technically shoujo, classified that way because it runs in Shoujo Beat!; the mangaka is really hung up on making everything (besides the girl in the Shinsengumi) historically accurate, and I like this series a lot because a) everyone in it cares a whole lot more about bushido than they care about romance, b) Okita Souji is completely perfect in a really, really emotionally retarded way, and c) it is the only shoujo series ever with a heroine with a shaved head.

WHERE YOU CAN READ IT: MANGAFOX (manga ongoing; scanlations stopped. WORTH IT ANYWAY).

オトメン(乙男)
(OTOMEN)

PLOT SUMMARY: Asuka Masamune is the coolest, manliest guy in his whole school. He excels in judo and karate, and as captain of the kendo team he reached the national championship tournament. However, he has a secret: the things he really loves are sweets, cute things, cooking, shōjo manga and sewing. He hides this part of his life from everyone else: at least until he meets a girl named Miyakozuka Ryo, the daughter of a martial artist and heir to his dojo, and falls head over heels. Setting out to win Ryo's heart (and be true to himself), Asuka is aided by a classmate named Tachibana Juuta; little do Asuka and Ryo suspect that under the penname Jewel Sachihana, Tachibana is actually the author of Asuka's favorite manga, Love Chick, which he bases on Asuka and Ryo's relationship (but with their genders switched).

IN TEN WORDS OR LESS: Manly men; maiden's hearts.

WHY IT'S GOOD: Again, I really feel like the plot summary pretty much speaks for itself. I am ridiculously fond of Otomen, though it lacks much in the way of substance; it's fun and it's cute and it's pretty, and that's really all I want or expect out of it! It does some fun stuff with gender roles, and Ryo in particular is a great if occasionally ignored character; really, most "manly" girls in shoujo are just covering a secret weakness or fear, but Ryo genuinely isn't phased in the slightest, and as a result I think her easygoing and placid nature is an excellent complement to Asuka's insecurity and worries. I caught a few episodes of the live-action drama over the summer, and I intend to watch more, but the manga is just lksjdfk so good.

WHERE YOU CAN READ IT: ONEMANGA (ongoing).

君に届け
(KIMI NI TODOKE, REACHING YOU)

PLOT SUMMARY: Sawako Kuronuma, called Sadako by her classmates for her resemblance to the character from Ring, has always been feared and misunderstood because of her appearance. There are rumors that Sawako can see ghosts and curse people. But when her idol, popular boy Kazehaya, begins talking with her, everything changes. She finds herself in a new world, trying to make friends and talking to different people and she can't thank Kazehaya enough for giving her these opportunities. Slowly, but surely, a sweet love is blossoming between the two as they will overtake any circumstance or clear obstacles in their way.

IN TEN WORDS OR LESS: Rather than "like", I'd say "like a whole lot".

WHY IT'S GOOD: By all rights I feel like I should really hate Kimi ni Todoke, which is all of the things I don't like about shoujo manga - the focus is on romance (although in its defense it does a really great job of at least pretending to focus on Sawako's growth as person), there's a rival subplot, etc etc etc. But the characters are just so compelling in this one, I can't bring myself to dislike it. Kazehaya in particular is a breath of fresh air; he's a female fantasy, the kind of guy who probably doesn't really exist, but he's a compelling archetype and I've found I really love him a lot. Probably the best subplot so far has been revolving around a misunderstanding between Sawako and her two friends (incidentally my favorite characters), a kogal (Yano-chin) and a yankee (Chizu-chan); it's a really beautiful, kind of soothing series, and I really can't talk it up enough.

WHERE YOU CAN READ IT: ONEMANGA (ongoing).

スキップ・ビート!
(SKIP BEAT!)

PLOT SUMMARY: Skip-Beat! is about Kyoko Mogami, a wistful yet cheery sixteen year-old girl who loves her childhood friend, Shotaro, but is cruelly betrayed and thus seeks revenge against him. Shotaro, not wishing to take over his parents' inn, becomes bored of living in Kyoto and decides to move to Tokyo to pursue a career in music, asking Kyoko to leave high school and her life behind to help him. Upon arrival in Tokyo, Kyoko lives an unreasonably frugal life, spending nothing on herself and doing whatever she can for the freeloading Sho, who eventually becomes ranked seventh in the top twenty most popular entertainers of Japan. One day, however, as Kyoko brings Sho his lunch at a company building, she overhears Shotaro complaining about her to his manager, saying that she is a boring and plain girl with no sex appeal that he'd like to cast away. He then proceeds to sweet-talk and flirt with his manager, in stark contrast to the cold and demanding attitude he usually exhibits towards Kyoko. Unlike other heroines in the same situation, Kyoko doesn't shed many tears when she learns that Sho thinks she's only good for housekeeping. Instead, her "Pandora's box" opens and she vows vengeance on Sho. She changes her appearance and enters the entertainment business, facing many challenges along the way. Skip Beat! follows Kyoko's journey to climb the showbiz ladder as she meets interesting people, in the hopes of getting revenge on Shotaro, but also in order to get back her sense of compassion that she had lost when her heart was broken by Sho.

IN TEN WORDS OR LESS: Filled with child-touchers and hatred and killing intent.

WHY IT'S GOOD: Ugh I can't even. Look, even ignoring the romance (and you kind of really can), this series is all about Kyoko learning and growing and becoming her own person. Rather than love or sadness, Kyoko pretty much experiences mostly rage and killing intent, and her love interest isn't much different either. Pretty much everyone in the series has a completely warped and twisted personality, but rather than playing their craziness up for drama, it is mostly played up for laughs; this is most true of Kyoko, of course, who has tiny evil Kyoko-faced demons shoot out of her entire body whenever anyone mentions Shotaro or gets her angry, but it's equally true of her overly-tsundere best friend, or even her love interest, who terrifies her with his evil killing intent (and sparkles). There's a lot of stuff about acting and what it means to play a character, as well - I imagine working with an actor like Kyoko in the real world would be terrible, as she's definitely a method actor (with a specialty in cruel, evil characters), but in terms of pure entertainment, it does its job. In turns funny, touching, and ridiculous, this series is legit hilarious and genuinely fabulous, and you should absolutely be reading it.

WHERE YOU CAN READ IT: ONEMANGA (ongoing).

Whew!!! Hopefully you found something that looks interesting on this list. I have plans for another rec post (entitled "Jump Series You Should Read Instead Of Wasting Your Time On Reborn"), but as of now I'm gonna go eat some dinner

cheers to the miles it took to get here.

terrorcandy — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 00:55:33 GMT

"It was mid-October when the teacher singled me out, saying, 'Every day spent with you is like having a cesarean section.' And it struck me that, for the first time since arriving in France, I could understand every word that someone was saying.

Understanding doesn’t mean that you can suddenly speak the language. Far from it. It’s a small step, nothing more, yet its rewards are intoxicating and deceptive. The teacher continued her diatribe and I settled back, bathing in the subtle beauty of each new curse and insult.

'You exhaust me with your foolishness and reward my efforts with nothing but pain, do you understand me?'

The world opened up, and it was with great joy that I responded, 'I know the thing that you speak exact now. Talk me more, you, plus, please, plus.'"
David Sedaris
Me Talk Pretty One Day

tell me i'm who your mouth was made for.

terrorcandy — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 00:46:43 GMT

K, guys, I feel like this is pretty self-explanatory, but: Poland/Lithuania. Childhood friends (as least as close to childhood friends as... countries... can be?), together they were once one of the biggest countries in Europe, and were a pretty big deal. In the off season they'd fight some wars and, I dunno, have some golden liberty and beat up on the Knights Templar; in the harvest they'd deal with their ultimate true love, the rye fields.

Ultimately, they are separated;

That's about all that Hetalia has to say on the issue, but historically there's a lot that follows, including a couple more partitions of Poland, the Polish-Lithuanian War, Lithuania working with the Nazis in the second World War, the years in the Soviet Bloc, Solidarity and finally independence. They're separated and come together again, they don't see each other for years and they worry and miss each other. Lithuania and Poland have a very sort of give-and-take relationship; Liet is a nag and Poland's a pain, but at the end of it all they can't help but care.

The tone of this soundtrack is pretty heavily based on these two fics; so it's pretty miserable (sorry). Countries are countries; they can love each other until their sides split but they'll still probably hate each other a little at the end of the day, right. Also, I essentially don't have any happy music. Uh THE LAST TRACK IS PRETTY UPBEAT RIGHT

Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz, Poland and Lithuania belong to the EU, all music belongs to their respective artists, scanlated comics belong to the people who put in the effort to scan them (credit can be found in the strip archive).

skip the bullshit and
LISTEN ONLINE?!

1. "january the &th", bryan rowe

[Instrumental]

2. "home", wintersleep

The winter hit so hard, hit so hard. The winter hit so hard, every little part. So glad to be back home, be back home.

3. "goodbye", natalie imbruglia

And I don't understand the things I do. But I'll probably be fine as long as I keep moving. I'll try to write it down so things just keep improving. Still the words won't play, 'cause there's no easy way to say goodbye, goodbye.

4. "signs", bloc party

It was so like you to visit me to let me know you were ok. It was so like you visit me, always worrying about someone else. ...I believe in anything that brings you back home to me.

5. "we won't need legs to stand", sufjan stevens

And when we are dead, we all have wings. We won't need legs to stand.

6. "kiev trains", strawberry

“There was an article in the newspaper describing cleanup after the accident. For that job workers were given subway tokens as compensation. This seemed bizarre and symptomatic of thoughtless governmental behaviour.”

7. "mount wroclai (idle days)", beirut

And I know when time will pass by slow; without my heart, what can I do? You're in the halls. The bell gives way to a larger swell. Without my heart, what can I do, oh?

8. "samson", regina spektor

Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down, yeah we couldn't destroy a single one. And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us, not even once. You are my sweetest downfall; I loved you first.

9. "barricade", stars

Found you on a Saturday, and that was where I lost you; finally had to walk away because of what it cost you. Years later when I saw your face in line to catch the morning train, you looked like you'd been softened, like you never really loved the pain.

10. "the fear you won't fall", joshua radin

It hasn't felt like this before; it hasn't felt like home before you. I know it's easy to say but it's harder to feel this way. I miss you more than I should, than I thought I could. Can't get my mind off of you. I hate the phone but I wish you'd call.

11. "yes!", coldplay

When it started we had high hopes; now my back's on the line, my back's on the ropes. When it started we were alright, but night makes a fool of us in daylight. I'm just so tired of this loneliness.

12. "the sound of settling", the string quartet tribute to death cab for cutie

Our youth is fleeting, old age is just around the bend, and I can't wait to go gray. And I'll sit and wonder of every love that could've been, if I'd only thought of something charming to say.

13. "lion's mane", iron and wine

Run like a race for family when you hear like you're alone. The rusty gears of morning and faceless, busy phones. We gladly run in circles but the shape we meant to make is gone.

14. "howe sounds", said the whale

We'll catch a current down to the river mouth; we'll paddle hard, yeah we are gonna make it this time.

15. "same", snow patrol

Maybe somewhere else will not be half as cold as me. The curtains drawn, the winter sun makes patterns on your face. It looks like some kaleidoscopic breathing exercise.

16. "come on", tegan and sara

Tell me I'm what your hands were made for. Tell me I'm who your mouth was made for. And if you come down on me, well you'll get what you ask for. Come on, come on, come on.

17. "love will tear us apart", jose gonzales

Why is it something so good just can't function no more? And love, love will tear us apart again.

18. "in case we die, pts. 1-4", architecture in helsinki

I carved our names in a tree there, I meant the letters to be bolder, bolder. Around the angles there's a race where silver never gets golder, and baby when we get older, we don't have to get colder.

>>ZIP FILE!<<
MEGAUPLOAD MIRROR

raidou kuzunoha vs. gouto's small talk training session.

terrorcandy — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 21:02:24 GMT

DRAMA CD: DEVIL SUMMONER RAIDOU KUZUNOHA VS IPPON-DATARA, SECOND HALF

In case winzip totally fucks up my Japanese fonts, as it is wont to do,

TRACKLIST

デビルサマナー葛葉ライドウ対隻眼化神後編

1. 壱
2. 弐
3. 参
4. 四
5. 伍
6. 六
7. 七
8. 八
9. 九
10. 拾
11. 拾壱
12. 拾弐
13. アフレコ感想コメント

CAST

Raidou Kuzunoha: Sugita Tomokazu (Sakata Gintoki from Gintama, Kyon from Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu)

Gotou-douji: Nakata Jouji (The Count from Gankutsuou)

Narumi Shouhei: Koyasu Takehito (oh come ON)

Asakura Tae: Morinaga Rika (Rita from Tales of Vesperia, Souseiseki from Rozen Maiden)

Victor: Ginga Banjou (King Vegeta from Dragon Ball Z, Reeve in Final Fantasy: Advent Children)

BASIC PLOT

It's some time after the end of the second game, which I have not finished so DON'T TELL ME!! Weeping. In the last volume, Raidou accidentally becomes entangled in the life of a young girl named Kiyo who is searching for her father, who went missing after the events of the second game. At the same time, the Narumi Detective Agency began investigating a series of mysterious accidents at construction sites in Edo, and Raidou came head-to-head with the cause of the accidents - a strange, powerful, and vengeful being who doesn't seem to be a demon at all.

Further investigation and a couple of exciting fights in this volume reveal that the aforementioned being is in fact of course Kiyo's father, who was driven mad with revenge when he was cheated out of all of the money he'd worked nonstop to earn and thought his daughter had been murdered. Now it's up to Raidou and Gouto to man up, stop the destruction going on in Edo, and to bring Kiyo's father home.

Keep listening after the actor comments - there are three extra skits included: Narumi's introduction of the detective agency, Raidou and Gouto's training in acting like a normal person (Raidou's pained noises as he tries to smile are totally worth the whole CD), and Gouto and Narumi play around the office (and get into an epic battle).

>>DOWNLOAD<<
>>MEGAUPLOAD MIRROR<<

(volume one)

RA-I-DOU!! RA-I-DOU!!!

terrorcandy — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 17:38:03 GMT

DRAMA CD: DEVIL SUMMONER RAIDOU KUZUNOHA VS THE ONE-EYED GOD, VOLUME ONE
...is the best translation I could come up with for 隻眼化神. Suggestions?

In case winzip totally fucks up my Japanese fonts, as it is wont to do,

TRACKLIST

デビルサマナー葛葉ライドウ対隻眼化神前編

1. 壱
2. 弐
3. 参
4. 四
5. 伍
6. 六
7. 七
8. 八
9. 九
10. 拾
11. 拾壱
12. 拾弐
13. 拾参
14. 拾四
15. アフレコ感想コメント

CAST

Raidou Kuzunoha: Sugita Tomokazu (Sakata Gintoki from Gintama, Kyon from Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu)

Gotou-douji: Nakata Jouji (The Count from Gankutsuou)

Narumi Shouhei: Koyasu Takehito (oh come ON)

Asakura Tae: Morinaga Rika (Rita from Tales of Vesperia, Souseiseki from Rozen Maiden)

Victor: Ginga Banjou (King Vegeta from Dragon Ball Z, Reeve in Final Fantasy: Advent Children)

BASIC PLOT

It's some time after the end of the second game, which I have not finished so DON'T TELL ME!! Weeping. On his way to school, Raidou accidentally becomes entangled in the life of a young girl who is searching for her father, who went missing after the events of the second game. At the same time, the Narumi Detective Agency begins investigating a series of mysterious accidents at construction sites in Edo, and Raidou comes head-to-head with the cause of the accidents - a strange, powerful, and vengeful being who doesn't seem to be a demon at all.

REASONS YOU SHOULD DOWNLOAD THIS CD:

- Gouto's sassypants attitude (grumbling that the reason Narumi has no money is 'cause he spends it on fancy suits, shock and horror that Raidou might have gotten a cute high school girl girlfriend - it must be nice to be young!!)

- Demons chanting Raidou's name (no really) and talking about how great he is and how much they like him. RA-I-DOU!! RA-I-DOU!!

- Narumi forgetting to pay the Konnou-ya tab, Raidou's salary, his rent.

- Narumi sucking up to rich people.

- Narumi's secret grown up adult person monologues, which he then promptly negates as soon as Raidou sounds like he might actually be genuinely impressed. "AH, RAIDOU, WHAT'S WITH THAT FACE!!" "Uh, nothing." "What!! Even though I was looking cool for once!"

- Narumi in general.

- Homos. No, really.

- Taeeeeeeee

- Raidou feeding daigakuimo to a little girl.

- The cast commentary (really priceless).

- This scene:

RAIDOU: Um.

NARUMI: Huh?

RAIDOU: If there's no more work right now, is it okay to go to school?

NARUMI: Huh?

TAE: Now?? It's already the afternoon?

RAIDOU: I haven't gone for ten days, so...

NARUMI: Oh, actually, I had something for you to do...

RAIDOU: I understand.

NARUMI: Ah, if you say that so obediently, it actually makes it harder to ask... It's fine! It's fine! Go on.

RAIDOU: Then excuse me.

NARUMI: Man, and here I was hoping I could ask him to do the cleaning and laundry.

TAE: If it's just that much, why don't I do it for you!

NARUMI: REALLY?

TAE: Will you take my request?

NARUMI: Aaa~ahhh. That's right, I guess. One should do one's own work oneself--

TAE: THAT'S FINE SO LISTEN UP.

I thought about translating this but I really honestly suck at translation, it would take me forever and as you can see from above, it's always pretty bulky. Not good at switching between languages! I might do it sometime but maybe someone else will instead ;;;

>>DOWNLOAD<<
>>MEGAUPLOAD MIRROR<<

I don't know any of the Megaten communities and I've no idea where to post this so if you know someone who wants this thing send 'em here.

we thought we'd lost you (welcome back).

terrorcandy — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 05:44:53 GMT

ABOUT THIS FST
I feel like everyone on the internet is familiar with (and at this particular plot juncture is incredibly frustrated with) Katekyo Hitman Reborn, but for those of you who need filling in (short answer: RUN AWAY), the plot is like so. Sawada Tsunayoshi is a middle-schooler who can't do anything right. And I don't mean that in the like teen lit light reading way, the kid has no friends and does terribly in school and isn't athletic and can barely manage to walk down the stairs (he falls a lot). He has a huge crush on a girl in his class, Sasegawa Kyoko, but his nickname is Dame-Tsuna ("no-good Tsuna") and frankly he's kind of resigned himself to being useless forever.

Enter Reborn.

Reborn is a baby assassin (no, really) from a prominent Italian mafia family, the Vongola (no, really) who Tsuna's mom hires to tutor him (no, REALLY). Soon Reborn reveals his true reason for coming to Japan: Tsuna is one of the possible heirs to the Vongola, and the baby's here to train him. Cue approximately seven volumes of mafia hijinks, meeting with other bosses, hilarious assassination attempts, Tsuna exclaiming that he is definitely not going to be a Mafia boss!!!, snowball fights, New Year's parties, and a turtle that grows to Godzilla-size when he gets wet.

No, wait, don't leave!! Stay with me.

Along the way, Tsuna somehow ends up gathering a "family". There's Gokudera Hayato, who comes to Japan to kill Tsuna but who almost instantly develops a fierce and unerring loyalty to him (along with dreams of being Tsuna's right hand man), Yamamoto Takashi, a cool kid in Tsuna's class who has unfailing assassin instincts but who is convinced this whole situation is like... mafia LARP or something, Kyoko-chan (of course) and Miura Haru, who wants to be Tsuna's mafia wife, a Chinese garlic lookalike baby assassin named I-Pin, and Lambo, who is a. Um. Baby cow assassin from a smaller mafia family who initially was sent to kill Reborn but seems to have forgotten in the course of three volumes? So now he lives with Tsuna's family and settles for putting gum in Gokudera's hair. Also joining their team is Sasegawa Ryohei, Kyoko's older brother who is my hero (he's EXTREME, he wants to fight the BEARS, damn it), Hibari Kyoya (the head of their school's Discipline committee, and a HOMICIDAL motherfucker), and Rokudo Mukuro and Chrome Dokuro (what do I even say about these two creepy-ass motherfuckers, besides that I adore them?). Whatever, a bunch of stuff happens and the manga gets kind of dark and there are some battles for rings and leadership of the Vongola, but friendship and love and inner strength save the day, because this is JUMP goddamn it!!, and then they all party (except for Hibari, who wouldn't be caught dead with these herbivores).

And then they get sent to the future, and Tsuna is given the really unfortunate news that he was recently killed.

Yeah, some time in ten years from now everything in the future goes to shit; the air is toxic and Tsuna is dead and okay they have developed a really stupid battle method. No seriously, I liked it better when you just used your fists. And so Tsuna and his family man up and bust out to save the future, or at least that's what I thought they were doing but now there's something about motorcycles and I can't be sure.

Oh, right, the FST. This thing is focused entirely on the TYL world; the first half is focused on the family in the future, follows through as things go to shit and Tsuna dies, goes through to when the current-timeline cast get there and decide to bust into enemy headquarters. It stopped being particularly canon-relevant around the time of that revelation with Shoichi (I have been seriously sitting on this since probably last summer), and has nothing to do with the current motorcycle Hunter x Hunter battle tower plot thing, which frankly I think works in its favor but whatever. It starts on an energetic note, develops into despondency, and finishes hopeful.

Sorry about the covers, I have no graphics skills. Zip file includes high-quality covers (why would you want them...?)

Probably it's unnecessary to dedicate fanmixes, particularly to people with much better music taste than mine, but for reasons which I guess will become clear it's dedicated to arisato.

THE MUSIC

skip the bullshit meta and
LISTEN ONLINE?!

1. "soldier's grin", wolf parade

And this dirt was a building before; shut it down before they opened the door. Don't shout, don't holler, don't you cry. What is passed, we'll just leave it behind.

Things are different ten years in the future, for sure. The world's harder and meaner than it was when we left it, and everyone seems to have grown to match it. Most notably, somewhere along the way Tsuna seems to have actually become a fairly good mafia boss. Even so, there's evidence that everyone in the future, although certainly more hardened and sexy than their awkward middle school counterparts, is still basically the same pack of good-hearted goofballs they were before.

This place here is no friend of mine; what is passed, we'll just leave it behind. And what you know could only mean one thing. And what you know could only mean one thing. Rooted to the place that you spring from.

2. "orca", wintersleep

I’ll be a tidal wave when I grow up, crashing on harbors. I’ll be a temperamental element, a raging water. I’ll be a perfect storm swallowing over. I’ll be a killer whale when I grow up, I’ll be a monster.

So once upon a time arisato sent me this mp3 and was just like WILL YOU LISTEN TO THIS GODDAMN SONG AND TRY TO TELL ME IT IS NOT PERFECT FOR TYL REBORN and I was like HOLY SHIT, THIS IS PERFECT, and thus this mix was born. Thus the reason for the dedication. Wow, that mystery was solved quickly!!

3. "sway", voxtrot

The language of loss made me so much older, the language of loss made me lose my grip. The language of loss made me silent as a newborn child.

Most of these songs were chosen because they share a common theme; the contrast between the modern-day vongola family and the family in the future is stark, and there's no question that everyone has lost some of their innocence and idealism along the way. But even in the flashbacks (or maybe I am just getting confused with doujinshi - I think my point stands anyway) there's this sense that even though they've lost the old days, it's not something that they ever wanted; the Vongola of the present are here to save Tsuna, that's certain, but they're also trying to make the future into something better, something less hard and brutal. They've got to move forward, but they refuse to repeat their previous mistakes.

And I dreamed you were there; all the vital signs were standing when I dreamed you were with me with the summer at my back. And I dreamed you were there, so complete and undemanding. We know the love that gives is what the living always lack. And you know I have to sway my leaves and branches slowly out in the sun, like the silent shout of youth. And we ask why do we take these leaps and chances? Because we have no choice but to wither into truth.

4. "no sunlight", death cab for cutie

When I was young, lying in the grass, I felt so safe in the warming bath of sunlight, of sunlight. Vast open sky could do no harm, like an embrace from mother's arms in sunlight, in sunlight.

And then things went really bad.

With every year that came to pass more clouds appeared 'til the sky went black, and there was no sunlight, no sunlight. And there was no sunlight, no sunlight anymore. And it disappeared at the same speed as the idealistic things I believed. The optimist died inside of me. No sunlight, no sunlight.

5. "i.o.u.", metric

Old world underground where are you now? Subtract my age from the mileage on my speeding heart, credit cards. Accelerate, accumulate; looked for you downtown. Wound up in a movie with no story, now it's late and you are nowhere to be found. Hesitation's always mine; hesitate outside the times. With all I don't say, with all I don't do, I'm sending you invitations to hesitate too.

This is one of my favorite Tsuna songs; it isn't that he particularly wants to be a mob boss, and in fact most of the time he seems ridiculously badly-suited for it. He's awkward and afraid, he hesitates when he shouldn't; even so, he keeps fighting and leading the family because he knows that this is the only way he can protect the people who are important to him in the world of the mafia in which he's been forced to live.

And it's that world, ultimately, which kills him.

Hesitation's always mine; hesitate outside the times. Oh call me or drop me a line; say you've been with me, way you've been with me, say you've been with me this whole time. Old world underground I never knew you, but I've seen your face everywhere.

6. "cause = time", broken social scene

And they all want to love the cause, 'cause they all need to be the cause; they all want to fuck the cause. So take me down, down through this. Kill the common law that missed; this is the blood I love to share.

The Vongola gets caught up in a fight with the Millefiore, a rival family headed by a guy named Byakuran, who in spite of his pretty pretty princess makeup, his Cinderella prince Ken doll taste in clothes, and his semi-disturbing oral fixation, turns out to be one badass motherfucker. And then... well, you all can guess how it ends by this point in my unnecessary meta commentary.

Take me down, down through this; kill the white within the bliss. Here is a waiting room that wants to save your life.

7. "where is home?", bloc party

After the funeral, breaking kola nuts, we sit and reminisce about the past. And in her voice, only sadness; her only son taken from her. In every headline we are reminded that this is not home for us. The second generation blues, our points of view not listened to; different worlds and different rules, a question of allegiance. Clinging to her bible and her scapula and the memory of the way things were. I don't see hope, I cannot smile; I burn with anger all the time.

Sorry for the huge block of lyric quoting, but honestly the next chunk of this fanmix could probably be termed "Gokudera's really, really upset he let the Tenth get killed Mix."

The teeth of this world tear me in half, and everyday I must ask myself where, where, where: where is it? Where is home?

8. "i don't have the map", idlewild

When it happens you’ll feel like an islander; you’ll see ships and they’ll be reminders that you’re on an island, I’m on an island. The chances are there’s a reason we’ve been left here, but I’m not disappointed. The chances are there’s a reason we’ve been left, the chances are, the chances are.

More Gokudera/Vongola anguish. I'd feel bad if this wasn't a prominent theme in the fst, if we're being honest. Everyone's pretty messed up afterward.

9. "are you ten years ago", tegan and sara

The whole world falls away and since I feel like I have only missed the feeling that I'm here again, the feeling that I'm clear again; I'm not taken. When you act like this, when you get so into yourself I lose sight of common goals. And letting go so I can be all alone; feel myself going slow, feel myself letting go; not taken, not feeling like I'm yours.

And everyone scatters; Ryohei to the Varia in Italy, Mukuro and Chrome and Hibari to god-knows where. Yamamoto's father is killed and Colonello is murdered and Lal Mirch's lungs are collapsing or something and Gokudera goes into the woods to put flowers on the Tenth Boss' grave.

10. "our hell", emily haines & the soft skeleton

My hands will shake, my eyes will burn, my throat will ache, watching you turn from me toward your friends. What I thought it was it isn’t now.

Just one more full of misery, I promise.

When Gokudera gets to Tsuna's grave, he finds Tsuna - ten years younger - awake and alive and totally confused. And so he says what he can, begs Tsuna to set things right, and then disappears.

There’s a pattern in the system; there’s a bullet in the gun. That’s why I tried to save you, but it can’t be done.

11. "back before we were brittle", say hi to your mom

Hey, remember when we could save kittens from trees? Or lunch on skyscrapers? Bring the villains to their knees? Maybe we should move someplace new, and build time machines to go and get us back. Back before we were brittle.

Turning point. The Vongola guardians from the past start showing up in the future one by one. Now we're getting more hopeful, which is good as I'm sure everyone was about to give up and cry on me! This was originally the title track, and I'm not sure if I don't regret the change.

12. "put us back together right", headlights

Strange winds are blowing me down this way. There's no prize in sight but the pain in my feet but I won't remember after tonight. The clock turns red and the word on the street is that we are getting ready to leave. Behind me I've forgotten to check all of the things that somehow now I don't seem to need.

Title track. Okay, sure, the future is all screwed up and everyone is dead or sad. But this is JUMP, goddamn it, and we are YOUNG and GOODHEARTED and we are gonna make things better, preferably with our FISTS.

Stepping over broken doors down in the street, all the chairs and tables lay on their sides. We have to turn them over and stand them upright so we can leave them on their feet for the night. So we can leave them on their feet for the night. Take us apart and put us back together right, so we can leave on our feet in the night.

13. "pale horse", john vanderslice

Your strong and simple words, set to wound as sharpened swords. Wide as targets let them be with their shade to cover me.

OKAY COOL, SO YOU SAY WE HAVE TO BREAK INTO THE ENEMY BASE? AWESOME. TRAINING MONTAGE. Uh by which I mean the decision is made for a preemptive attack on the enemy base, especially in light of how their head homo beat up OUR head homo (I DON'T UNDERSTAND, MUKURO, HOW COULD YOU LOSE?!?!?) and one of our teammates is like losing her organs.

rise like lions after a slumber in greatly unknowable numbers. Free the blood that must ensue; we are many and they are few.

14. "lightning field", sneaker pimps

Strike me down; give it everything you've got. Chance me now; I'll be everything I'm not. Hope's the child of what luck brings. Points to faith in higher things. Ask me now; fire at everything at once. Strike me down; take it any way you want.

Weirdly it's Hibari who ends up as Tsuna's tutor, and he makes two facts abundantly clear to his young charge: 1) the Tenth Boss of the Vongola was not a man to be taken lightly, and 2) if Tsuna doesn't manage to meet Hibari's expectations for him, there's no real guarantee that he'll live through the training.

15. "oz", katie todd band

Back down, rolling with the punches. Half assed, borderline contagious. Go away, come back when you're ready, yeah. 'Cause guess what, I am sick of sleeping.

One more preparation song. Everyone's doing their best to get themselves ready for the coming fight, and although Tsuna wavers and has doubts, he ultimately decides that he has to shelve them and become stronger in order to protect everyone. It's Kyoko - and the admission that Tsuna has only been able to remain strong because of everyone supporting him - that gives him the final hint he needs to perfect his move: using one hand as a supportive balance behind him as he pushes energy forward with the other.

16. "earth intruders (mark stent extended mix)", björk

We are the earth intruders, we are the earth intruders. Muddy with twigs and branches. Turmoil! Carnage! Here come the earth intruders, we are the paratroopers. The beat of sharp shooters come straight from voodoo. With our feet thumping, with our feet marching grinding skeptics into the soil.

GOOD ENOUGH LET'S KICK SOME BAD GUY BUTT!! The Vongola invade under cover of night, etc etc. Sooo badass.

We are the earth intruders! We are the earth intruders! Muddy with twigs and branches. Forgive this tribe!

17. "today will be better, i swear!", stars

Old pale memories of someone you knew keep crawling through the back of your mind (stealing time). In the daylight you're crossing all your wires; you never knew just how to put out a fire. The closet's been shaking with bones; little reminders that you're out on your own.

Let's hope for a hopeful ending for the kids. Eventually they'll defeat the big bads, go home, and keep in mind that they're never gonna let what happened in that future happen to their own.

Today is going to be a better one; there's nothing more to take in that's going wrong. Today keep your head and drop the gun. There's nothing more to battle when you're gone. Walk on.

18. "adventures in solitude", the new pornographers

And as for the Vongola in the future, and as for the Tenth Boss?

We thought we'd lost you. We thought we'd lost you. Welcome back.

★BONUS!!
"i will follow you into the dark", death cab for cutie

I hate including two tracks by the same artist on these things and I mean it's not like they go AFTER Dead!Tsuna (THIS ISN'T BLEACH... MUCH), but... how could I resist baaaawing over Tsuna dying one more time.

"when i grow up", the pussycat dolls

What? What?! I said it was for arisato, didn't I!!

>>ZIP FILE!<<
RAPIDSHARE MIRROR

i avoid making this type of entry if i can.

terrorcandy — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 21:10:11 GMT

دنیارابگوییدچطورآنهاانتخاباتمان دزدیده اند
Tell the world how they have stolen our election

(actual information; how to help)

This kind of thing has happened a million times before and it will happen a million times again; the only thing that's different is that people are paying attention this time. And while that doesn't make it fundamentally any more important than the other revolutions that have happened in the past, and while I acknowledge that people are fickle and that this will probably disappear from the news with the next fad, I think it's important to take advantage of people's interest while we still can.

when i was in love with god, i never thought we'd part like this.

terrorcandy — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 23:37:29 GMT

"I took several months off work after the gas attack. I had trouble breathing. My job involves talking a lot, so that presented real problems. Of course, I was furious. As I said before, it was fairly obvious that Aum were the culprits... but to tell the truth, stronger than any anger now is the feeling that I just don't want to remember anymore. Between the time I was hospitalized and the time I was sent home I wanted to know everything that had happened; I was devouring the news on TV, but now I can't stand it. I'll change the channel. I don't ever want to see another image of the gas attack. Out of anger, out of consideration for those who were sacrificed and those who still suffer. Even now when a report touches on the gas attack, something tightens in my chest. I swear, I never want anything to happen like this ever again."
"Nakayama Ikuko" (alias)
Marunouchi line, toward Ikebukuro
Undergound (Haruki Murakami)

this is the kind of thing i want to remember forever.

terrorcandy — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 05:38:56 GMT

Bolds are of course mine.

"Thank you. Thank you, my friends. Thank you for coming here on this beautiful Arizona evening.

My friends, we have -- we have come to the end of a long journey. The American people have spoken, and they have spoken clearly.

A little while ago, I had the honor of calling Sen. Barack Obama to congratulate him.

To congratulate him on being elected the next president of the country that we both love.

In a contest as long and difficult as this campaign has been, his success alone commands my respect for his ability and perseverance. But that he managed to do so by inspiring the hopes of so many millions of Americans who had once wrongly believed that they had little at stake or little influence in the election of an American president is something I deeply admire and commend him for achieving.

This is an historic election, and I recognize the special significance it has for African-Americans and for the special pride that must be theirs tonight.

I've always believed that America offers opportunities to all who have the industry and will to seize it. Sen. Obama believes that, too.

But we both recognize that, though we have come a long way from the old injustices that once stained our nation's reputation and denied some Americans the full blessings of American citizenship, the memory of them still had the power to wound.

A century ago, President Theodore Roosevelt's invitation of Booker T. Washington to dine at the White House was taken as an outrage in many quarters.

America today is a world away from the cruel and frightful bigotry of that time. There is no better evidence of this than the election of an African-American to the presidency of the United States.

Let there be no reason now for any American to fail to cherish their citizenship in this, the greatest nation on Earth.

Sen. Obama has achieved a great thing for himself and for his country. I applaud him for it, and offer him my sincere sympathy that his beloved grandmother did not live to see this day. Though our faith assures us she is at rest in the presence of her creator and so very proud of the good man she helped raise.

Sen. Obama and I have had and argued our differences, and he has prevailed. No doubt many of those differences remain.

These are difficult times for our country. And I pledge to him tonight to do all in my power to help him lead us through the many challenges we face.

I urge all Americans who supported me to join me in not just congratulating him, but offering our next president our good will and earnest effort to find ways to come together to find the necessary compromises to bridge our differences and help restore our prosperity, defend our security in a dangerous world, and leave our children and grandchildren a stronger, better country than we inherited.

Whatever our differences, we are fellow Americans. And please believe me when I say no association has ever meant more to me than that.

It is natural. It's natural, tonight, to feel some disappointment. But tomorrow, we must move beyond it and work together to get our country moving again.

We fought -- we fought as hard as we could. And though we fell short, the failure is mine, not yours.

I am so deeply grateful to all of you for the great honor of your support and for all you have done for me. I wish the outcome had been different, my friends.

The road was a difficult one from the outset, but your support and friendship never wavered. I cannot adequately express how deeply indebted I am to you.

I'm especially grateful to my wife, Cindy, my children, my dear mother and all my family, and to the many old and dear friends who have stood by my side through the many ups and downs of this long campaign.

I have always been a fortunate man, and never more so for the love and encouragement you have given me.

You know, campaigns are often harder on a candidate's family than on the candidate, and that's been true in this campaign.

All I can offer in compensation is my love and gratitude and the promise of more peaceful years ahead.

I am also -- I am also, of course, very thankful to Gov. Sarah Palin, one of the best campaigners I've ever seen, and an impressive new voice in our party for reform and the principles that have always been our greatest strength, her husband Todd and their five beautiful children for their tireless dedication to our cause, and the courage and grace they showed in the rough and tumble of a presidential campaign.

We can all look forward with great interest to her future service to Alaska, the Republican Party and our country.

To all my campaign comrades, from Rick Davis and Steve Schmidt and Mark Salter, to every last volunteer who fought so hard and valiantly, month after month, in what at times seemed to be the most challenged campaign in modern times, thank you so much. A lost election will never mean more to me than the privilege of your faith and friendship.

I don't know -- I don't know what more we could have done to try to win this election. I'll leave that to others to determine. Every candidate makes mistakes, and I'm sure I made my share of them. But I won't spend a moment of the future regretting what might have been.

This campaign was and will remain the great honor of my life, and my heart is filled with nothing but gratitude for the experience and to the American people for giving me a fair hearing before deciding that Sen. Obama and my old friend Sen. Joe Biden should have the honor of leading us for the next four years.

I would not -- I would not be an American worthy of the name should I regret a fate that has allowed me the extraordinary privilege of serving this country for a half a century.

Today, I was a candidate for the highest office in the country I love so much. And tonight, I remain her servant. That is blessing enough for anyone, and I thank the people of Arizona for it.

Tonight -- tonight, more than any night, I hold in my heart nothing but love for this country and for all its citizens, whether they supported me or Sen. Obama -- whether they supported me or Sen. Obama.

I wish Godspeed to the man who was my former opponent and will be my president. And I call on all Americans, as I have often in this campaign, to not despair of our present difficulties, but to believe, always, in the promise and greatness of America, because nothing is inevitable here.

Americans never quit. We never surrender.

We never hide from history. We make history.

Thank you, and God bless you, and God bless America. Thank you all very much.
Sen. John McCain

If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.

It’s the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen; by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the very first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different; that their voice could be that difference.

It’s the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled – Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America.

It’s the answer that led those who have been told for so long by so many to be cynical, and fearful, and doubtful of what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day.

It’s been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this day, in this election, at this defining moment, change has come to America.

I just received a very gracious call from Senator McCain. He fought long and hard in this campaign, and he’s fought even longer and harder for the country he loves. He has endured sacrifices for America that most of us cannot begin to imagine, and we are better off for the service rendered by this brave and selfless leader. I congratulate him and Governor Palin for all they have achieved, and I look forward to working with them to renew this nation’s promise in the months ahead.

I want to thank my partner in this journey, a man who campaigned from his heart and spoke for the men and women he grew up with on the streets of Scranton and rode with on that train home to Delaware, the Vice President-elect of the United States, Joe Biden.

I would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend for the last sixteen years, the rock of our family and the love of my life, our nation’s next First Lady, Michelle Obama. Sasha and Malia, I love you both so much, and you have earned the new puppy that’s coming with us to the White House. And while she’s no longer with us, I know my grandmother is watching, along with the family that made me who I am. I miss them tonight, and know that my debt to them is beyond measure.

To my campaign manager David Plouffe, my chief strategist David Axelrod, and the best campaign team ever assembled in the history of politics – you made this happen, and I am forever grateful for what you’ve sacrificed to get it done.

But above all, I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to – it belongs to you.

I was never the likeliest candidate for this office. We didn’t start with much money or many endorsements. Our campaign was not hatched in the halls of Washington – it began in the backyards of Des Moines and the living rooms of Concord and the front porches of Charleston.

It was built by working men and women who dug into what little savings they had to give five dollars and ten dollars and twenty dollars to this cause. It grew strength from the young people who rejected the myth of their generation’s apathy; who left their homes and their families for jobs that offered little pay and less sleep; from the not-so-young people who braved the bitter cold and scorching heat to knock on the doors of perfect strangers; from the millions of Americans who volunteered, and organized, and proved that more than two centuries later, a government of the people, by the people and for the people has not perished from this Earth. This is your victory.

I know you didn’t do this just to win an election and I know you didn’t do it for me. You did it because you understand the enormity of the task that lies ahead. For even as we celebrate tonight, we know the challenges that tomorrow will bring are the greatest of our lifetime – two wars, a planet in peril, the worst financial crisis in a century. Even as we stand here tonight, we know there are brave Americans waking up in the deserts of Iraq and the mountains of Afghanistan to risk their lives for us. There are mothers and fathers who will lie awake after their children fall asleep and wonder how they’ll make the mortgage, or pay their doctor’s bills, or save enough for college. There is new energy to harness and new jobs to be created; new schools to build and threats to meet and alliances to repair.

The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even one term, but America – I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you – we as a people will get there.

There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won’t agree with every decision or policy I make as President, and we know that government can’t solve every problem. But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And above all, I will ask you join in the work of remaking this nation the only way it’s been done in America for two-hundred and twenty-one years – block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand.

What began twenty-one months ago in the depths of winter must not end on this autumn night. This victory alone is not the change we seek – it is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were. It cannot happen without you.

So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism; of service and responsibility where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves, but each other. Let us remember that if this financial crisis taught us anything, it’s that we cannot have a thriving Wall Street while Main Street suffers – in this country, we rise or fall as one nation; as one people.

Let us resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long. Let us remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House – a party founded on the values of self-reliance, individual liberty, and national unity. Those are values we all share, and while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress. As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, “We are not enemies, but friends…though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection.” And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn – I may not have won your vote, but I hear your voices, I need your help, and I will be your President too.

And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of our world – our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand. To those who would tear this world down – we will defeat you. To those who seek peace and security – we support you. And to all those who have wondered if America’s beacon still burns as bright – tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from our the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity, and unyielding hope.

For that is the true genius of America – that America can change. Our union can be perfected. And what we have already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.

This election had many firsts and many stories that will be told for generations. But one that’s on my mind tonight is about a woman who cast her ballot in Atlanta. She’s a lot like the millions of others who stood in line to make their voice heard in this election except for one thing – Ann Nixon Cooper is 106 years old.

She was born just a generation past slavery; a time when there were no cars on the road or planes in the sky; when someone like her couldn’t vote for two reasons – because she was a woman and because of the color of her skin.

And tonight, I think about all that she’s seen throughout her century in America – the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we can’t, and the people who pressed on with that American creed: Yes we can.

At a time when women’s voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. Yes we can.

When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs and a new sense of common purpose. Yes we can.

When the bombs fell on our harbor and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes we can.

She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that “We Shall Overcome.” Yes we can.

A man touched down on the moon, a wall came down in Berlin, a world was connected by our own science and imagination. And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen, and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change. Yes we can.

America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves – if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made?

This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment. This is our time – to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American Dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth – that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism, and doubt, and those who tell us that we can’t, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people:

Yes We Can. Thank you, God bless you, and may God Bless the United States of America.
Sen. (President) Barack Obama

and you can stand right there if you want -- but i'm going on.

terrorcandy — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 05:48:50 GMT

"Second, the fact that Japan is now a financial quagmire is irrelevant to how it actually achieved a stunning industrial catch-up with the Western world and secured its place among the great industrial powers of our day. To go from literally ashes to being the world's second-largest economy is not a mere academic curiosity that can be swept under the media rug just because things do not look as glamorous as before. What happened in Japan is real, and whatever patterns or strategies the Japanese government followed, especially in the early postwar period, are still of great relevance to backward industrializers."
Saadia Pekkanen
Picking Winners? From Technology Catch-Up to the Space Race in Japan

i was in the middle before i knew that i had begun.

terrorcandy — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 03:02:53 GMT

"I am perfectly convinced by it that Mr. Darcy has no defect. He owns it himself without disguise."

"No," said Darcy, "I have made no such pretension. I have faults enough, but they are not, I hope, of understanding. My temper I dare not vouch for. It is, I believe, too little yielding— certainly too little for the convenience of the world. I cannot forget the follies and vices of other so soon as I ought, nor their offenses against myself. My feelings are not puffed about with every attempt to move them. My temper would perhaps be called resentful. My good opinion once lost, is lost forever."

"That is a failing indeed!" cried Elizabeth. "Implacable resentment is a shade in a character. But you have chosen your fault well. I really cannot laugh at it. You are safe from me."

"There is, I believe, in every disposition a tendency to some particular evil— a natural defect, which not even the best education can overcome."

"And your defect is a propensity to hate everybody."

"And yours," he replied with a smile, "is willfully to misunderstand them."

but i have no doubt: one day the sun will come out.

terrorcandy — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 18:00:09 GMT

When I first came to Japan it was as if words had been mysteriously eliminated, had vanished from my life. I couldn't understand what anyone was saying, but there was nothing especially new in that, it was an experience I had had many times before in the countries I had visited or lived in. What was unique for me was that I couldn't read anything written. Not one word could I make sense of, or even hazard how to say it. For a literary person this is a disturbing feeling, a traumatic realization. It is like being rendered illiterate or blind - as by the wave of a magic wand. You feel helpless, thrown back onto the dependencies of childhood. There is nothing for it but to work out methods for answering the questions usually resolved by language without recourse to language at all: by heightened observation, and by careful preparation and planning before leaving home, relying on others more than you otherwise would wish to.
Christopher Ross
Mishima's Sword

i'll play my guitar and change my thoughts into a melody.

terrorcandy — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 02:59:52 GMT

ABOUT THIS FST
It's request month over on fst, and kimbnr requested a Johnny's Entertainment fan soundtrack. I've basically been searching for an excuse to make a JE fst since, oh, about ever, so... you know. I'm not really sure how to explain Johnny's Jimusho to someone who's never heard of it, since it's the kind of thing that really has to be seen to be understood. But, short version:

Once upon a time there was a man named Kitagawa Johnny. Johnny decided that the world had a shortage of dancing, singing, acting, and embarrassingly dressed good-looking men. Wouldn't the world be better, he mused, if there was some sort of talent agency in which young, attractive men wore ridiculous outfits, sang disgustingly poppy music, and were turned into products for the consumption of Japanese fourteen year old girls everywhere? With this dream in mind, he established a talent agency called Johnny's Jimusho (Johnny's Entertainment) in the early nineteen-sixties. It has dominated the Japanese entertainment industry ever since.

Boys usually start out as "Juniors" in their early teens, where they are trained to sing, dance, and be hideously lovable. They serve as backup dancers or extras in skits for preexisting groups. At a certain age, the ones who turned out the cutest and most talented (or sometimes just cutest) are put into musical units and debut. Because Johnny owns the world, they usually do quite well. Units do pretty much everything under the sun; they sing, they dance, they do skits, they get their own terrible tv shows (I love you, SMAPxSMAP), they perform in television dramas and movies, they are a merchandising device. And they look really stupid and/or hot doing it. But usually it's mostly just ridiculous. I mean, it's endearing! But, uh, ridiculous.

If you want a better/more eloquent/more complete explanation, my advice would be to start with wiki and go from there.

When making the FST itself, I set out not to include a whole lot of bubblegum pop, because then I might as well make the whole thing just Smap's "Sekai ni Hitotsu Dake No Hana" and be done with it. You should also be proud that I did not end up including my "Jin Left Us and Went to America To Get Fat" EP or any version of "Milkshake" (Pi!) and/or "Rehab" (Uchi, Kusano, Akasaka Akira, I'm looking at you). I feel like I've grown as a person! Higher-quality covers are included in the zip file found at the bottom of this post. OKAY NOW I'M GETTING ON TO THE MUSIC.

THE MUSIC

1. "you! me! dancing!", los campesinos!

To taking props from nineties boy band fashions, all crop tops and testosterone passion. If there's one thing that I could never confess, it's that I can't dance a single step.

I... look, I really do love them, all right? They are very good dancers. But... their choreographer is seriously my favorite ever. In the video linked, when they say "tear" they actually like MAKE A TEAR ON THEIR FACES. Just. Just go to 1:12, all right?

2. "don't you want me", human league

You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar when I met you. I picked you out, I shook you up and turned you around, turned you into someone new. Now five years later on you've got the world at your feet. Success has been so easy for you. But don't forget it's me who put you where you are now, and I can put you back down too.

Hi, Johnny. The boys start working for him when they are very young and impressionable, and there's no question that he molds them into the stars that they eventually become. There are rumors about shady molestations going on in the Jimusho. And I'm a jerk. So, uh. JOHNNY, THIS TRACK IS FOR YOU.

Don't, don't you want me? You know I can't believe it when I hear that you won't see me. Don't, don't you want me? You know I don't believe you when you say that you don't need me. It's much too late to find you think you've changed your mind. You'd better change it back or we will both be sorry.

3. "music is my hot hot sex", cansei de ser sexy

From all the drugs the one I like more is music. From all the junks the one I need more is music. From all the boys the one I take home is music. From all the ladies the one I kiss is music.

4. "mass romantic", the new pornographers

Mass romantic fool, separated by sheets when the curtain calls you, speaking on the themes of stolen virtue missing from the radio (radio!).

Okay, I swear this isn't going to turn into a FST musing on whether or not Johnny is a gay child molester. Um, sometimes Johnny's boys have a little too much fun, and there are always rumors circulating about their private lives (Is Kame going to marry his older girlfriend? What do you mean Tegoshi was seen clubbing with girls. HOORAY, NAGASE AND AYU BROKE UP and also what/who the hell was Jin doing during his "study abroad"?). But when it comes down to it, even with the tabloids and the scary fangirls it's probably a pretty sweet life for a twenty-something year old Japanese boy.

In the streetlight dawn, in the streetlight dawn, this beat turns on. This boy's life among the electrical lights.

5. "almost crimes (radio kills remix)", broken social scene

You're like a messiah, pal. Little kingdoms in your chest. I told you we'd make it, on for another. I told you we'd make it, on for all night.

HEY!SAY!JUMP, THIS ONE IS FOR YOU. :( How old are these boys, again?

We've got love and hate; it's the only way. I think it's almost crimes.

6. "my hair looks fierce", amanda lepore

I don't know much about clothes, but my hair looks fierce! I don't know much about clothes, but my hair looks fierce! I don't know much about clothes, but my hair looks fierce! I don't know much about clothes, but my hair looks fierce!

I'm just sayin'.

I don't know much about - much about - much about - much about - much about clothes and things. I just talk about - talk about - talk about - talkin' to my friends when my cell phone rings. I don't care about this that - this that - this that - the other, what you talkin' about? I just show up all done up, dance, do my thing, get paid and I'm out!

7. "firecracker", voxtrot

I had a lust. I had a firecracker. I had a love for the sound of this world. I'm still in love; it's just a stab at laughter. It’s just a mark of the people we are.

Here, this song can be about the Johnny's boys who got caught drinking underaged and were demoted back to junior status. UCHI AND KUSANO, COME BACK!!

Is it the same thing to write it as to think it? I'm chopping noses just to ruin my face. Break down on the record company; did you turn you back on me? Or did I turn myself against myself?

8. "the rejection", dangerous muse

I'd like to like you like you like me, but I can't. Please understand. I'm not a jerk -- but I am.

Oh, Johnny's fans :X On the bright side, at least the company rules on dating aren't as stringent as, say, Hello Project or Morning Musume.

"How could you kiss me there then just go, leave me a sample in a song." Stop trying--trying--trying. I don't want you. You don't want to stop trying. You want me, well -- I want to dance.

9. "lovestoned / i think she knows (interlude)", justin timberlake

Those flashing lights come from everywhere. The way they hit her I just stop and stare. She's got me love stoned, man, I swear she's bad and she knows. I think that she knows.

OH COME ON THERE'S NO WAY NOT TO INCLUDE THIS SONG.

10. "d.a.n.c.e (mstkrft remix)", justice

Do the D.A.N.C.E., 1 2 3 4 fight. Stick to the B.E.A.T., get ready to ignite. You were such a P.Y.T., catching all the lights. Just easy as A.B.C., That's how we make it right.

I can't really explain how awesome Johnny's dancing is, so here. YES, IT'S A.Ra.Shi, I AM BUSTING OUT OLD-SCHOOL STYLE (it is HARD to find just dancing clips on youtube. It's like all singing, all the time :[).

11. "soft rock star", metric

Choose the highest bidder was my answer when they told me I was up for sale. Schoolyard, Junior high style. Bullies have always tried to buy the better girls.

Did I mention that the boys are basically products? Everything is pretty much dictated by the Jimusho, including stuff like their "image". And, again, they start in their early teens. Sob writing this out makes it sound way shadier than it is, I swear.

12. "konichiwa bitches", robyn

I'm so very hot that when I rob your mansion, you ain't call the cops, you call the fire station.

Title track! This song is ridiculous; it's basically just talking about how awesome the singer is and like... a collection of semi-clever semi-nonsensical threats. I like to think that this is how Akanishi Jin's English sounds.

13. "superstar", tegan and sara

Soon my face will be on every magazine. Then my voice will be on every frequency. Take my heart; while you're at it, why don't you sign me up to sell me out? Why don't you sign me up to sell me out?

Okay, yeah. It's all about image. Johnny's boys are pretty much literally everywhere; they're on billboards, they're on television, they do absurd numbers of photoshoots every month, they do concerts and the Shounen Club and Music Station and other promotional stuff whenever they have a movie/drama/tour/pv/single/album coming out. And don't even get me started on shop photos, okay. ONLY IN JAPAN, I SWEAR.

14. "one two three four", feist

One, two, three four; tell me that you love me more. Sleepless, long nights: that was what my youth was for.

When do these boys sleep? Especially Kamenashi Kazuya. Anyway, I realize that not all of the Johnny's units are young anymore (sup v6; sup Tokio; sup, Smap), but they're still meant to appeal to a young-ish audience. They have a sort of lighthearted, springtime of youth appeal to them makes them fun to watch. I feel like the tone of this song really matches the sort of feeling of watching them try to cook or do some embarrassing sporting event.

15. "on the radio", regina spektor

This is how it works: you're young until you're not. You love until you don't, you try until you can't. You laugh until you cry, you cry until you laugh, and everyone must breathe until their dying breath.

One of the most ingenious facets of the Johnny's enterprise is how they start out so young and continue until, in the case of the most successful groups, well into adulthood. I'm thinking in particular about Arashi, although I think it's true of all of the older units; fans saw them start out as Juniors, watched them as awkward teenagers, and have seen them grow into adulthood. They get to watch the boys change and grow up, and in a bunch of them it's a really dramatic change (hi, Tegoshi). I'm telling you, there's a reason every other song put out by the Jimusho has "seishun" in the title! The boys are growing up all the time. Their youth won't last forever. Soon, even Hey!Say!Jump! will be being accused of cheating in college and getting Hello Project girls pregnant.

And on the radio you hear November Rain; that solo's awful long but it's a good refrain. You listen to it twice 'cause the DJ is asleep.

16. "do you want to", franz ferdinand

When I woke up tonight I said, "I'm gonna make somebody love me. I’m gonna make somebody love me," and now I know, now I know, now I know, I know that it's you. You’re lucky, lucky, you're so lucky!

17. "the once and future king", bloc party

Champion garage band with too much time with my own thoughts; it should be my name on their lips, but it's not.

I hope all of the juniors who haven't been debuted yet just like... stare at the members who get to debut and glower with bitterness. No, seriously, how old is Hey!Say!Jump? I know that there are older trainees than fifteen or whatever. I seriously can't imagine what it's like for the tons of boys who never debuted. I bet they write angry posts in their jwebs every time they see Jin's face. Also, a song for the boys who leave and/or are removed from the Jimusho. For example, whatever happened to that ninth guy in NewS? And what is it like for him now when he sees their billboards?

I heard your song on the radio like a fire-brand on my skin; so the war has begun, a pox on your houses! And I will wait for my turn to come round again; and I will wait however long it takes.

18. "soft revolution", stars

We are here to save your life: the fool, the drunk, the child, and his wife. We won't let the sun go down; we gonna chase the demons out of town. Singing when you feel alone, backwards through the megaphone; singing to the ones you love and the ones you'd like to be rid of.

This song is seriously my Johnny's song. I think it's the last two lines.

And after changing everything, they couldn't tell we couldn't sing. They couldn't tell we couldn't sing, and that changes everything.

Word, boys. Word.

★BONUS!!
"girlfriend (japanese)", avril lavigne

YOU KNOW THIS IS AWESOME. It's the Cartoon KAT-TUN theme. Also it applies to ship wars. Oh Akame versus KamePi (versus Pin versus RyoPi versus RyoUchi versus on and on and on. Fandom, let's elope).

"keep it gay", the producers movie soundtrack

Oh my god, don't even try to argue (PS: Johnny, I love you).

>>ZIP FILE!<<

how the heart bends.

terrorcandy — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 18:48:52 GMT

"The life current moves on all the time, without a moment's rest, because it is unstoppable; nothing can check it. Along its course, it shoots forth a variety of sprays, which contain a variety of elements such as love, hate, joy, and pain. All these congregate into the main stream of the life current, moving on with a tremendous force that can wipe out mountains, heading towards a definite sea or ocean. What this sea is, and how long it would take for the life current to reach it, are questions to which nobody has a definite answer.

Like everybody else, I live in this world for the conquest of life. I have had my part in this "jeu". I have had my love, my hate, my joy and my pain. But I never did lose my faith, my faith in life. My life has not yet ended, I do not know what is lying in wait for me, but I have some vague notion of the future...

...It was said that there is no definite course or way, but when lots of people march forward, a course or way is formed. It was also said that there is a way, and because of that lots of people march on. I would not like to pass judgement on which idea is right. I am still young, I still want to live, I still want to conquer life. Aware that the life current will never stop, I would like to see where it is going to take me."

Pa Chin
April 1931

this is a story 'bout the three of us;

terrorcandy — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 21:13:21 GMT

ABOUT THIS FST
For those of you who have been living under a rock (or have been trying your hardest to ignore its existence) and therefore aren't familiar, Naruto is a shounen manga series that has been running for several years in Weekly Shounen Jump. It centers on the adventures of Uzumaki Naruto, a young, brash boy who unknowingly has grown up with the spirit of the nine-tailed fox demon that destroyed his town (Konohagakure) sealed inside of him. Because of this, Naruto grew up alone, shunned by the adults and consequently the children of his village. Rather than being deterred by this treatment and ignoring his own rather numerous shortcomings and failures, Naruto swears to become the Hokage, the chief ninja, and to earn the recognition and respect of the people of his village. Cue training sequences, pointless power-ups, and a whole lot of really stupid plot holes. It's fairly standard shounen fare, I'd say, although it's almost unfairly addictive and has a number of really shining bits that cause it to stand out somewhat.

In Naruto, when young ninjas graduate from school they are put into three-man-teams; Naruto is placed in team seven with his rival, a prodigy named Uchiha Sasuke, and the girl he likes, Haruno Sakura. Although the three of them are very different, they soon learn the importance of teamwork and loyalty, and they become stronger as they learn about themselves and each other. Of course, this is all ruined when Sasuke, desperate for power in order to avenge the murder of his clan by his older brother, defects from Konoha and runs away. The rest of the series has, with a number of notable sidetracks, been focused on Naruto and Sakura's quest to get the third member of their team back.

Naruto as a manga (and also anime, although I don't really watch it much anymore) centers rather pointedly on the relationships between the members of team seven, which are almost painful in their intensity and are so, SO complicated - but I get into that in the fst itself, and I'd rather not now, so. It's important.

I feel that it should be mentioned that team seven is actually a four-man unit, with Hatake Kakashi as their teacher and mentor; but he figures into the equation a little different than the main three characters, and also it's threesome month at fst, not foursome.

Oh, yeah, sorry about the covers, I am not good at that stuff.

Also, this fst is totally dedicated to derogatory, who gave me about half of these songs (the good ones) off of her "We're Sad That Sasuke Left Us" playlist and who I love desperately.

THE MUSIC

1. "brightly wound", eisley

It's happening all the time; when I open my eyes I'm still taken by surprise. I hold sunlight and swallow fireflies, and it makes me want to cry. I love you.

The beginning, when team seven was newly formed. This is a song for the bell test; they started disjointed and separated, and they failed miserably. It's only after the official test is over and they are all sitting unsupervised that they begin to understand what it truly means to be a ninja - that the mission is one thing, but that the person who abandons his teammates is worse than trash. They show up at that meadow as three separate newly-initiated genin, but they leave as a three-man unit.

I shall never grow up; make believe is much too fun. This place is so lovely, it kind of makes me very happy. Let's go far away to the humming meadow.

2. "my slumbering heart", rilo kiley

In my dreams I see you at the foot of some mountains, and we're taking some pictures or something and we'd better hurry up. And it's late and the sun keeps on shooting through pine trees, and the grass stains are wet on your new jeans, and we'd better hurry up.

Again, when things weren't (as) complicated. This is a song for standing around at the bridge waiting for their perpetually-late teacher, for chasing after cats (oh, d-class missions), and even for before they were a team, when they were all just at the academy; Sasuke was popular but alone and Sakura was just a little girl who'd pushed her best friend away in order to get out of her shadow and Naruto had no family and was treated by the adults of the village as a monster. Becoming team seven gave each of them a place where they belonged, and I think that the early days were probably the most fun that any of them have ever had in their lives.

3. "the shining", badly drawn boy

Remembering when I saw your face shining my way: pure timing.

For Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura represent the two most important people to him, because except for Iruka they are the first bonds he has ever really successfully made. This song is for the wave country, when he learned from Haku that what makes a person strong is the strength of that person's desire to protect his or her most important people.

This is also a song for Sakura's bond with both of the boys - both of them have told her their most painful secrets (Sasuke about the massacre of his family, Naruto about the nine-tailed fox sealed inside of him), and Sakura has cried for both of them. Sakura's strength, much like Naruto, comes from her understanding of how much suffering the boys in her life have gone through, and from both her ability to grieve for them and her desire for strength to protect them from being hurt anymore.

And you will dry this tear now that we're here, and grieve for me, not history.

4. "you are a runner and i am my father's son", wolf parade

I am my father's son, and I am my father's son. His bed is made. I was a hero early in the morning; I ain't no hero in the night. I am my father's son.

Oh, Naruto. Naruto has had a really rough childhood, and it's almost made worse if fan speculation (and my own personal belief - oh come on, like Kishimoto has ever been subtle) is correct and he is, in fact, the Fourth Hokage's son. Even if the unthinkable happens, however, and it turns out that the fourth isn't related to him, it doesn't particularly change the relationship between them; because he sealed the nine-tailed-fox into Naruto, the fourth is technically responsible for shaping Naruto into the person he's become today, and he is at least a kind of spiritual father. Even though most of Konohagakure has ignored and mistreated Naruto, the fourth's initial wish was for Naruto to be looked at as a hero (like his father was) - and in spite of everything life has thrown at him, Naruto is going to become one, even if he has to smash everyone who tells him differently to do it.

This is also a little bit of a song for Naruto and Sasuke – Sasuke is the first person Naruto hasn’t been able to save, and if he’s ever going to become a person he can feel proud of, he’s got to get him back.

And I'll build a house inside of you; I'll go in through the mouth. I'll draw three figures on your heart: one of them will be me as a boy, one of them will be me, one of them will be me watching you run.

5. "you only hide...", something for kate

So I keep watch, and you keep breaking; breaking formation to become someone else.

There's an absolutely heartbreaking set of panels when Naruto catches up with Sasuke right before the Valley of the End, where Sasuke turns around and says "hey, dumbass" in the same way he always does, but has the curse seal over half of his face, and Naruto flashes back to all of the things that they've shared and all of the good memories that they've had. I think that team seven find Sasuke's betrayal particularly heartbreaking because he is one of them, and there's nothing more painful than watching someone you love turn into someone they aren't, especially if they seem determined to leave you behind while they're doing it. It makes no sense to him, because he doesn't really understand yet what Sasuke thinks he's lost. Sasuke wants to avenge his family; Naruto thinks that Sasuke and Sakura are his family.

Naruto, however, isn't a quitter and never, ever gives up on people, and both he and Sasuke know it. "I'm going to bring you back," he yells at Sasuke, "if I have to break every bone in your body!"

You say you just want to feel the way you used to feel, the way you should feel. And I wander through the lost city of you, and you only hide because you know I'll find you.

6. "orestes", a perfect circle

Gotta cut away, clear away, snip away and sever this umbilical residue that's keeping me from killing you.

For Sasuke. Naruto and Sakura are very good for Sasuke, and they make a lot of progress in the first part of the series toward making him into a person again. Unfortunately for the team, Sasuke doesn't want to be a person, he wants to be an avenger, and sees Naruto and Sakura as keeping him away from achieving that goal. If he's going to kill Itachi, he needs to lose Naruto and Sakura; his feelings for them cause him to lose sight of the rage and pain that kept him moving toward his goal of becoming strong enough to kill Itachi. In the end, although he partially goes to Orochimaru for power, he also probably does it in order to sever the bonds that he has with team seven that he feels are weighing him down.

7. "lost cause", beck

Leave you here wearing your wounds, waving your guns at somebody new. Baby, I'm a lost, baby, I'm a lost, baby, I'm a lost cause.

Another song for Sasuke. He doesn't think that he wants to be saved, and Naruto and Sakura's devotion to it probably baffles him. "Didn't you want to be Hokage? You'd have been better off leaving me and training for that," he tells Naruto. Of course, Naruto replies that he wouldn't be a very good Hokage if he couldn't save one of his most precious people. Sasuke responds with violence.

Even if Sasuke doesn't care about his team anymore (which, frankly, I've got doubts about - but still), I think he might be a little sad for Naruto and Sakura. They've spent the last three years chasing after him when he has no intention of going back with them.

There's a place where you are going you ain't never been before. There's no one laughing at your back now, no one standing at your door. Is that what you thought love was for?

8. "cannonball (cover)", vienna teng

There’s still a little bit of your taste in my mouth. There’s still a little bit of you laced with my doubt. It’s still a little hard to say what's going on.

I feel a little bad about putting this track in, since a Sasuke/Sakura fst was very recently posted with this song in it; I'm sorry, I swear that this track has been in my team 7 playlist for a while, and anyway, it's really appropriate.

This track is for Sakura about Sasuke. No matter what you ship, it's ludicrous to argue that Sakura doesn't feel anything for Sasuke anymore. Even if she no longer has any romantic feelings for him, Sasuke is Sakura's first love, and she lost him in a way that was really traumatic for her.

Although Sasuke leaving is really the event that caused Sakura to grow up fast, it hasn't necessarily been a bad thing for her, character-wise. It's Sasuke and Naruto's constant scrapes and fuckups that force Sakura to become stronger, so that she too can protect her precious people.

There's a recurring theme with Sakura regarding her watching the two boys' backs; Sakura is constantly beating herself up about not being able to keep up with Sasuke and Naruto, and trains with Tsunade so that one day the two of them can watch her back as she protects them from incoming danger. The thing that Sakura misses, however, is that Sasuke and Naruto can become stronger and keep pushing forward because she is at their backs, offering support and encouragement and her neverending confidence in them.

So come on courage, teach me to be shy, 'cos it's not hard to fall, and I don't want to scare you. It's not hard to fall, and I don't want to lose; it's not hard to grow when you know that you just don't know.

9. "field below", regina spektor

Again the sun was never called and darkness spreads over the snow like ancient bruises. I'm awake and feel the ache, but I wish I'd see a field below.

A song for Sakura during the timeskip. Sasuke has defected to Orochimaru and Naruto has gone off with Jiraiya to train, leaving Sakura effectively alone for three years. Although she doesn't appear to have left herself any time to be miserable (what with training under the fifth Hokage and all), I imagine it was occasionally very lonely for Sakura, and I can't imagine what it was like passing by Ichiraku, or any of the innumerable places where team seven used to spend time together. In spite of her efforts to be strong and independent, Sakura probably found herself missing her team.

I wish I'd see your face below. I wish I'd hear you whispering low, but you don't live downtown no more and everything must come and go.

10. "growing pains", mia doi todd

These are the growing pains: love is born; life must change. These are the growing pains, the breakdown of the barricades. There's fear and cowardice to be overcome by instinct, force and momentum.

Now we're into the chronological section; this is a song for when Things Went Bad. Suddenly Itachi shows up looking for Naruto, Sasuke goes after them, partially because he wants to finally kill his brother but also to save his teammate because oh my god, that moron can't deal with Uchiha Itachi. When he finds them, Itachi first expresses his lack of interest and even disappointment in Sasuke and then tears. Him. Apart. When Sasuke wakes up, Naruto's found the new Hokage, picked up one of the legendary Sannin as a teacher, and has learned a new jutsu that blows Sasuke's chidori out of the water. Sasuke can't handle it, and they fight on the rooftop of the hospital. Sakura and Kakashi stop them, but everyone knows that things can never go back to the way things were.

11. "open your eyes", snow patrol

All this feels strange and untrue, and I won't waste a minute without you. My bones ache, my skin feels cold, and I'm getting so tired and so old. The anger swells in my guts and I won't feel these slices and cuts. I want so much to open your eyes 'cause I need you to look into mine. Tell me that you'll open your eyes.

The Valley of the End. All Naruto wants is for Sasuke to pull himself out of the past that Itachi has trapped him in and to see all that he currently has with team seven. In part, this is because he wants what's right for his friend, but on another level entirely, he's aware that he needs Sasuke; because he is the first bond that Naruto has ever made, Naruto knows that it isn't Sasuke's recognition that he wants, but his friendship.

When Naruto wakes up, he has Sasuke's scratched headband and the knowledge that even though it would have allowed him to achieve mangekyou sharingan, a skill that would have put him almost on par with Itachi, Sasuke didn't kill him when he could have.

He knows what he has to do.

All this feels strange and untrue, and I won't waste a minute without you.

12. "two more years (mstrkrft remix)", bloc party

In two more years, my sweetheart, we will see another view; such longing for the past for such completion. What was once golden has now turned a shade of grey. I've become crueler in your presence. They say: "be brave, there's a right way and a wrong way". This pain won't last forever, this pain won't last forever.

Yeah, yeah, this song is on like every Naruto soundtrack ever. Well, with good reason. I've put in a remix, which I think sounds a little more frantic than the original (and about a thousand times more badass).

All three members of team seven have clearly been changed by their three years apart. The manga post-time-skip is significantly darker than the first half in a number of ways, and Naruto in particular is showing signs of spiraling further and further out of control, learning a jutsu that destroys himself at the cellular level and allowing enough of the nine-tailed fox to control him that he bleeds uncontrollably from every pore.

I've become crueler since I met you. I've become rougher, this world is killing me.

13. "playing with fire", emery

Pardon me for saying so, but you look more pitiful than I had ever imagined, despite perfect fashion. And your photographs depict you so differently. I always thought you would be some sort of match for me, so let's decide who can survive; stomping feet and racing beats of hearts that don't ever slow. Then I'll write letters on white paper expressing my deep disappointment.

The reunion doesn't really go as anyone had planned. In spite of all of their preparation, Naruto and Sakura aren't actually able to react properly when they find themselves face-to-face with Sasuke, and they all end up completely incapable of doing anything to bring him back. Sasuke disappears from their lives again as quickly as he showed up, and they are both visibly shaken by it.

Whether Sasuke is or not remains to be seen, as so far he seems to have remained fairly indifferent about his teammates. There's evidence, however, that Sasuke is still basically good (for example, not allowing his new team to kill people). He absolutely doesn't regret leaving, however (really). He encourages Sakura and Naruto to give him up and move on with their lives, but he knows Naruto well enough to know that there's no way that'll ever happen.

There's nothing left to say to excuse the way that I've behaved. I still feel him gripping like a stain to fabric, torn at every seam, then thrown away. (One without regret, I will not forget.)

14. "broken bones", aqualung

This is a story 'bout the three of us. Down by the water and the tide is rising. This world is burning and I'm terrified. I need a little more time with you, oh, I just need a little more time with you.

Title track.

15. "trust me", the fray

Looking for something I've never seen; alone and I'm in between the place that I'm from and the place that I'm in: a city I've never been. I found a friend or should I say foe, said: "there's a few things you should know we don't want you to see. We come and we go. Here today, gone tomorrow. We're only taking turns holding this world; it's how it's always been. When you're older, you will understand."

The we're-sad-because-Sasuke-left-us song. Really, Naruto and Sakura are probably making things harder for all three of them with their insistence on saving Sasuke, and their lives would all be easier if they could just let each other go.

Of course they won't. Maybe they can't.

16. "combat baby", metric

we used to leave the blue lights on and there was a beat; ever since you have been gone it’s all caffeine-free and faux punk fatigues. Said it all before; they try to kick it, their feet fall asleep. Yet no harm done, no, none of them want to fight me. Combat baby come back baby, fight off the lethargy, don’t go quietly. Combat baby, said you would never give up easy. Combat baby come back.

Ending on an upbeat note. In spite of everything, I am betting that Kishimoto gives us a happy(ish) ending and that team seven will get some sort of resolution; after all, Naruto has said that he's going to bring Sasuke back, and Naruto never goes back on his word - it's his way of the ninja.

★BONUS!! "since u been gone", kelly clarkson

Okay look, more than half of the tracks on this fst are breakup songs and it has been nicknamed "CD that makes me want to die" so EXCUSE ME IF I'M NOT FUNNY.

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