"Love doesn't make things easier... just worth it."

Fanfic: Harshness of the Seasons (5/10)

2014-04-12T14:57:13Z

Title: Harshness of the Seasons
Rating: R
Author: terapsina
Fandom: The Vampire Diaries
Pairing/Characters: Elijah/Elena, Elijah, Katherine, Klaus, Elena.
Word Count: 4'539
Parts: 5/10
Summary: AU To those who know the story of the making of vampires Elena will be remembered as the girl who was sacrificed for the plague they became. But in Elijah's memory she will always be the wife he loved and lost to his parents' desperation. All that he now has left is the wane hope that the body Ayanna preserved will one day wake as she promised. Elejah
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
WARNING: If the way Caroline and Andie were treated at the hands of Damon is a trigger for you this is not a chapter you will want to read. Without giving too much away just know that human Katherine has a very similar relationship with Klaus. Not explicit, because it's not from either of their viewpoints, but Elijah witnesses enough to maybe make the reading… uncomfortable.

Death of Summer //Death of Summer//

Grieving Autumn //Eye of the Storm// //Heavy Rainfall// //Promising Cold//

Haunting Winter //SPLINTERED ICE//

*o0O0o*

*Harshness of the Seasons*

*Haunting Winter: Splintered Ice*

*o0O0o*

Elijah's eyes roam across the hall and while concealing disinterest in the guests of his brother he carefully observes for signs of something curious enough to catch attention. Unfortunately, as he's come to expect, it is only filled with the routine arrogance and greed this class of people is so known for.

Their hearts thrum around him, each beat pushing their scents into the falsely light environment and acting like the taste palette for a feast. He distantly wonders whose unfortunate body will be the one Niklaus finds most unusual, which woman will glisten with the right combination of delight and jewelry to capture his brother's eyes this time.

He almost pities the swarm of oblivious minds that flirtatiously smile at the predators in their midst but they all, every one, hounded for those 'birthday' invitations, stabbing each other in the back to have them and thus the feeling swiftly passes him by. Besides, he knows most will leave as unconcerned as they arrived, and the few who won't… will not be missed.

Five hundred years has truly changed much for his family, 'or for what is left of it at least' he quickly amends.

Picking up a glass of red wine the vampire – granted not a word he would have personally picked – joins the mortal crowd with a cool smile on his face and wonders how many salacious women will this time daintily introduce themselves to the widowed lord in the fruitless hope of snatching his hand and his lands.

As if Elijah cannot see them for the vultures that they are. Or that any of them can possibly compare to the strength, bravery and kindness of Elena.

His insincere smile falters at her name in his thoughts. It has been a time, perhaps too long a time, since he's caught himself thinking of her. In this one way his mind and that of a mortal's is the same, - memories fade into the past. Whether he wants them to or not they quiet and still, simmer into the background of his world and then… strike afresh.

But something is always inevitably lost once he thinks of Elena anew.

The gentle lines of her face still starkly assault his consciousness, but though he remembers her eyes to be brown the tint of them is gone. She smelled like honey and pine, but Elijah mourns knowing if there was an after flavor of sweet or salty to her flesh in their kisses. He remembers her, that he could not forget even if he wished, but no matter how tightly he grips for the details the edges degrade over the centuries.

Elena is like an ice crystal mosaic now. He has the pieces and he knows the portrait she makes, but some of them drop from his numb, frozen fingers and shatter on the ground. Parts of them he retrieves, but they remain cracked, bending the light around them in ways he knows to be wrong but cannot rectify.

This will not deter him. He still intends to learn all that anew once she wakes – 'if' the small, cruel part of him always whispers.

Yes, it has taken him so many more years than he planned – 'lifetimes and lifetimes longer', - it might take him the same again yet, but he has not given up on his quest. Elena shall open her eyes again and he'll see their shine. He will caress her lips with his own and uncover that taste he used to treasure so strongly.

He will hear the melody within her laughter and…

A hand by his shoulder pulls him from his ever waning reflection of the past and he turns sharply at the gall of it. But his cold reprimand quiets at recognizing the man looking back, the younger vampire is one of the few he still trusts, – even if only very slightly – he has after all proven his loyalty as one of the guardians in Elijah's absences.

"Ah, good evening Trevor! I was not aware you would join us today!"

Trevor smiles nervously and Elijah's gaze rapidly sharpens. The vampire's eyes hold a look that has never graced them before, it is excited… calculated. It calls for future weariness and close attention.

"I could not miss the celebration! And there is a… gift my Lord Klaus might find suitable."

He rather doubts his brother would find anything Trevor has prepared suitable, but the man is nervous if his wandering eyes are a sign to be believed. It would be better if Elijah quickly investigates this 'gift' himself rather than letting Trevor make a fool of himself in front of his irritable sibling.

It would take far too much work to find someone to replace him and though Niklaus might pretend to prefer Trevor alive, he rather doubts his brother's slight lingering affection for this man's friend could ever hope to prevent his death if that famous temper was aroused.

"Very well, show me this object that has you so certain of my brother's illusive favor!"

Trevor turns to guide Elijah towards the other side of the room visibly fighting to hide his shaking hands.

"Right this way!"

They come to a stop near the back of a slender woman. She is dressed in red satin with dark hair tumbling past her shoulders, her heart beats steady and strong while her face rests on something he hardly cares to look for. Elijah does not believe he's ever met her… and yet he falters in his steps. There is something strangely familiar about her. Her scent or her heartbeat gives away something… it is as if he's half expecting to recognize the face she will turn towards them.

"My dear!"

Trevor's prompt is all it takes for the girl to face them and thus the air of Elijah's lungs escapes him, for a moment it leaves his chest frozen solid at this ghost. But her heart still riddles his senses, it's the only sound reaching him now and so she cannot be a specter or a nightmare.

Her heart never beats in his dreams.

The doe eyes belonging to the most beautiful woman he's ever seen are the brown of melted chocolate and breathless he remembers that if he stepped close enough to share air there would be golden specks scattered within.

She smiles at him – "…it's sweet and loving and never more so than when she directs it at us." - and for one blissful, lingering moment he thinks her Elena. He thinks Trevor has found the solution that despite his visits to countless magic practitioners of so many, many cultures, has escaped Elijah for five long centuries. Maybe by some dearly sought miracle in one of the weeks he had placed the vampire to guard his wife's body she'd simply… awakened.

"Hello!"

The drumming from this woman's chest within a moment transforms from water to a dying man into a thousand icicles piercing his chest. His own heart breaks in synchrony with the jagged crack in the illusion.

Elena would not yet know this language. She would not greet him in this new tongue he and his siblings had learned when settling here. She would whisper his name and greet him with the words he grew up with and has not spoken in years, – not since Finn - this excruciatingly cultured accent and politely impersonal smile could not belong to her.

And he begins to see the small distortions in the woman before him. The parts that do not quite fit, the parts he had not seen in the moments he thought the other side of his soul was finally within reach again.

This twin is younger than his heart's chosen was at her death, not by much certainly but enough to be noticed. Elena's face had matured a small degree more and her limbs had set in the height they would remain. The human in front of him remained maybe a year behind.

Elena still rested dead in the mausoleum he had laid her in.

And all that lived was the doppelganger his brother has been waiting for, the girl cast in the image of his wife who Elijah has prayed would never be found.

Before he can decide on the right approach to this unfortunate development he hears the voice of the person this 'gift' is intended for and Elijah almost laughs at his previous musing. He no longer needs to wonder who will be the woman Niklaus will ironically find to be most unique.

*o0O0o*

Their new guest, as Elijah had soon learned, is Katerina Petrova.

There is a mystery behind her, one which hints at something other than the half a millennium old origins that are behind her existence - in a matter of fact of those she does not seem to have any idea for at all. - This secret, whatever it turns out to be, has roots he feels to be less supernatural and much more personal.

His many, subtle inquiries for the details of her story are unusually lacking in answers, and as far as Elijah has personally observed the girl consistently prefers to keep mute on the matters of her past. But he has been able to glean some details. He's aware she's lived seventeen years without being noticed by the less natural elements of the world and after leaving her home has traveled to England from Bulgaria.

The only fact he can ascertain for sure is that the girl is a survivor, a true fighter at heart. The road that must have led her through the very worst circumstances, and allowed her to reach the doorstep of his brother, could not have been without its own tragedies. And yet he sees strength, defiance against fate in her posture and gaze. She stares in the eyes of everyone she talks to, even when human propriety would caution otherwise. It's as if she, by her every breath, is declaring her self victorious over some wrong done to her and is promising never to be so injured again.

'It is foolish. It is… admirable,' Elijah, standing in the shade of a willow silently thinks to himself 'She possesses the heart of a warrior'. He is leaning against a tree to better hide from the bright glare of the sun, as despite the protection of his ring he has found the warmth of its shine to be less inviting than in the days long since lost.

-*o0o*-

They were lying lazily in the field. His arms were encircling her as he gazed up at the few stubborn clouds standing against the scorching presence of the summer heat and the burning glare of the sun. There had been no rain for weeks now and it did not seem to be changing any time soon, a part of his mind worried for the crops that would be lost if this continued for much longer, but most of it was on the woman in his arms.

Elena's head was tucked in the bend of his elbow, her fingers playing with his own. On a fleeting impulse he ran his other hand down her face until it reached a strand of her dark hair. Playing with it captured his attention for a moment longer before his fingers drifted down the length of her brown lock, grazing her neck, reaching her chest, lingering over the swell of her breast and after a dizzying moment went further still before coming to a rest upon her swollen stomach.

There he stopped, before his fingers, almost with a mind of their own, started to draw invisible runes. For health, bravery, for a long life, for the spirit of a warrior, for the heart of honor, for strength and for loyalty and-

"You know Elijah, I might be carrying a daughter and not a son."

He stopped, but only for as long as it took to listen to her words. When he added a rune for happiness and beauty and victory of battle and answered.

"It makes no difference… she'll be just as much a warrior as her mother then."

Suddenly Elena flipped over on top of him and cast his face in the shadow of her face. But her smile was more blinding than the sun and he barely noticed before all he could think on at all was her… her hands, her mouth, her eyes, her skin and the child growing safely in her body and in their hearts.

-*o0o*-

As he shifts his weight one of the first browning leaves of this year caresses his cheek and falls to land on his shoulder, it's enough to distract him from his longing. Elijah flicks it away and grimly continues waiting.

After the recent developments he knows he must confront the misfortunate girl with some less than pleasant information, for sadly Niklaus has not been idle in the time since the doppelganger's appearance. Not in the least.

Instead he has played the charming host in its entirety.

Has provided Katerina with everything she could possibly need, from exquisite foods and fanciful rooms for her rest, to music that is to her taste and the art his brother swears he created entirely for her eyes. Elijah recognizes his kindness for what it is, has seen it played out more than once in the centuries since their descent into immortality. Katerina is nothing but an animal Niklaus is readying for slaughter.

And as she blushes and thanks for this charitable persona his brother's taken up with thinly veiled smirks at her back, Niklaus waits for all the pieces to reach their place so that the true game can come to its final end.

But then Katerina too will be simply a pale corpse carelessly thrown to the ground, like soiled cloth that has lost its use. Like Elena was so long ago. And no matter what promises Niklaus spins it will not be rubies that stain her neck red, death will be the only scenery the monstrous artist will have painted with the girl truly in mind.

Elijah fights to imprison that thought, for they are all monsters now.

Had it not been Godric's blood running though her veins, Elijah does not know if he would have cared about the web being spun around her innocent senses, but it is and so he must stop what is beginning to seem inevitable.

Instead of continuing with his powerless watch over this travesty, Elijah waits to intercept the girl's daily walk through the palace gardens. Maybe she can be persuaded to keep her heart safe for a while longer, though by the charmed smiles he's noticed on her face lately at even the mention of Niklaus, he's afraid he's already too late. But he needs more time to find a way to keep his brother from breaking his curse and he must do so without endangering the life he must save for the sake of his son's memory… or without revealing himself as the man behind the failure.

Moments after those worries encircle his mind he finally hears the young woman's wandering steps. She's wearing a new dark green dress, doubtlessly a result of the seamstresses that had been invited two weeks previous. As always he finds himself glad for her composed stance, even while she thinks herself alone she's a product of this time. It keeps separate the reality from the illusion, allows him to differentiate between the memories and the present.

He knows he's in the presence of Elena's descendant, - their descendant - and not his wife. He suppresses his bitterness over it. This girl does not deserve those comparisons. She does not deserve the cruel whispers of his mind, speaking of how he'd exchange her life for Elena's if he could.

He is no less of a monster than his brother in the end. Ayanna was right in her hatred if this is what her visions showed her.

"Lady Katerina!" Elijah greets and steps out from the shadow cast over him by the tree he was standing beneath.

He has startled her he knows, her heart jumps and she hesitates for a beat. But it barely takes a breath before she's smiling again, though her shoulders are still slightly drawn.

"Yes my Lord?"

He notices, not for the first time, the look behind the polite expression. Katerina is playing the game too, and if only she knew the field on which it was taking place she might be a master at it. Unfortunately she's moving across the wrong board. And she'll lose if something isn't done.

"May I join you for a minute?"

He smiles himself, trying to ease the tension his intrusion has created. He must look honest in his request because Katerina visibly relaxes at this gesture and nods in invitation. They walk for a few minutes in silence and when he feels the girl's curiosity beginning to build he turns to her with a sigh.

"There is a delicate matter I have wished to speak to you about. Can I be honest with you?"

There is a flash of satisfaction on her face and he suddenly smiles almost sadly. There is much behind the pretty facade of innocence she seems to embody. She almost reminds him of Kol, at least the Kol that he remembers from when they were still as human as she. Though he ruefully thinks of how his younger sibling's mask of choice had never been 'innocence'. Quite the opposite in fact.

But the comparison still stands. There is something playful and intelligent about them both, something hidden and secret.

"But of course Lord Elijah. Whatever is the matter?"

At that reminder of why he's here to begin with Elijah finally turns serious and puts all the weight of the matter into his eyes, making sure that what he tells her is absorbed like it should be. His voice is heavy and every letter punctuated with meaning he hopes to convey.

"You must be careful of my brother, he is not… everything he presents himself as."

Katerina's eyes seem to turn considering and Elijah almost breathes in relief, but before he can continue a stubborn glint suddenly shines in them. That expression he's seen on countless occasions as well. It's what he's presented with every time Rebekah gives out her heart and their brother once again warns her against pursuing a new paramour.

He does not know this girl's history, or the girl herself really, but he knows he's lost this move.

"I do not doubt your words my Lord, but Klaus has been most kind to me. I am sure there is no need for your worry, although I am grateful for the concern."

It seems Elijah will have to take more direct measures after all.

*o0O0o*

He waits until nightfall, still hesitant for the confrontation that must take place. Niklaus has only grown more unpredictable over time. Elijah no longer knows if he can find the right words to influence him. He had given up on trying too long ago, maybe that was a mistake that will cost him now. But Elijah's patience with Niklaus' actions towards the Lady Katerina has come to a close. The girl might not be Elena, but she is of her descent and his brother playing with her heart like a cat does with a mouse is a dishonor to everything they have been taught to uphold.

No, he will stand for it no more.

So he pushes open the opulent doors leading into his brother's personal chambers for a long overdue talk…

…and is met by a sight he should maybe have expected.

But his simmering thoughts seem to have overwhelmed his good sense and so he is unprepared for the two people lying on the bed his eyes now rest on. His mind blanks and he needs to breathe through the sudden clenching in the muscles of his throat.

'Not Elena' he desperately reminds himself.

The doppelganger's corset is half undone and his brother's arms cover her like a possession he's in the middle of sampling the merits of. It's not Elena, but it is still hard to see the body with the face of his wife in the arms of his brother.

Elijah's jaw clenches and he takes a moment to breathe through his first instinct. His greeting however, once it comes, must still hold a trace of a growl. Or so he guesses by the way Niklaus suddenly smirks at him.

"Brother."

The smirk only grows. There's a sharp look in those eyes that Elijah is instantly wary of. He hopes Niklaus has not guessed who Elijah had seen in Katerina's place for a fraction of a moment. But it is a fruitless hope, they have spent centuries by each others side, they can read every flicker of thought too well. And Niklaus has always been able to smell weakness.

"Elijah! How… unexpected! I'm rather busy at the moment, can this wait?"

If Elijah did not hear the mocking tone he'd have maybe been fooled by the polite expression and guileless eyes. As it is, Elijah does not fail to notice how the other vampire almost imperceptibly moves aside to expose more of his companion, as if to gloat about his latest conquest, or to stroke the fire of that first impression. The anger that suddenly overwhelms him for the first time is entirely on behalf of the girl herself. No, she isn't his wife, but Katerina deserves respect none the less. She deserves more than being an object for Niklaus's dark entertainments.

He breathes through the fury and conceals everything through centuries practiced skill.

"No, it does not appear that it can. I'm sure Lady Katerina has had a tiring day and would like some rest… alone."

There's a twitch in the corner of the other man's mouth.

"Do not worry brother. She is quite fine here, you can say what you will, I'm sure she wont remember a thing."

Elijah's look quickly focuses on the girl he was politely avoiding the sight of. Now that he is focusing on her he sees it. And hollowly Elijah remembers how Katerina did not even gasp at his sudden entrance, nor is she now frantically trying to cover herself from his sight. Instead she is gazing up at Niklaus with her eyes glazed and unseeing… well, unseeing of anything but the person she's sharing the bed with. Her whole world spun down to the man who seems to have compelled her to see him as the center of her being.

Elijah should have learned by now the depravity his brother stoops to and yet he feels disappointment gnawing through his chest.

He wishes he could go back in time, if only to look at his brother and be able to see his soul once more. Seeing in Niklaus only the all consuming anger at the world, only the ambition for power, only the fear of being alone, and hardly a speck of genuine love for the last remains of what their family used to represent, is more painful every year.

"You've compelled her. Niklaus you wish to kill her, must you break the child as well?"

Niklaus laughs, he laughs with callous enjoyment and the hole within Elijah's chest deepens again. He closes his eyes unable to look at him, to look at what he's become. He's suddenly grateful Rebekah is in France, though he misses his sister, he's glad that she's not here to see this. She always loved Nik most of all and Elijah's certain that once her faith in their brother leaves her eyes – like it's leaving Elijah right now – her heart will break. He's seen her repairing it a hundred times, he does not know if she'll repair it if Nik's the one who shatters it.

"I can assure you Elijah, she is no child!"

He's never had to contain an urge to strike Niklaus, not like this. Never truly wanted to genuinely hurt him as badly as he does right now, - not even when he learned of Finn and later Kol, though those times came close - he's protected his little sibling for as long as he can remember…. but right now he wants to find a wooden stake and drive it through his brother's heart.

And still he grasps at the edges. They promised each other 'always and forever', promised to stand behind this family as long as they live. And he can't give up yet.

"Maybe not, but she is my descendant so whatever you're hoping to gain here, stop!"

Elijah's voice is almost pleading, begging for the remnants of the boy who loved life despite all its cruelties.

"Oh please! All the highborn of England are closer related to each other than either of us is to her."

"I do not see how this matters… and why ever have you given up on Ro…"

He knows he's made a mistake as soon as the words leave him. Whatever reasoning there was, it's gone now. Elijah looks on as Niklaus's whole body shutters down, as he transforms from his brother into the monster who gave the second most powerful witch he's ever met nightmares half a millennium before this moment.

"Be quiet!"

The voice is almost silent. The words that come out next are calm, and all the more horrific for it.

"Actually… how about I loan her to you for a night? You can even pretend to have your precious Elena back for a time. Hell maybe having a bit of fun will make you less of a bore."

Elijah recoils at the thought. And by the widening of Niklaus' smile he guesses some muscle in his face has betrayed his disgust.

"How about I compell her for you as well? Would you like me to tell her she's Elena? How does that human fairytale go? She's been a sleeping princess for a hundred years and a gallant prince rode up to wake her, fought witches and killed dragons for her. And now she can thank him quite properly?"

He knows there are veins slipping onto his face, can feel the teeth elongating and revealing the face of the darkness he's carried around since her death, - in more ways that one because of her death. He hears his own heart pumping borrowed blood through his body until that is all he can feel. His rage burns in him, boils within his stomach in a way so all consuming he does not feel himself breathe, and for a moment Elijah thinks he could actually kill his little brother for this. If only he didn't know how impossible that is.

His own voice is like gravel and hot coals.

"Niklaus. You will remove Katerina's compulsion. Do I make myself clear? And if I see her anywhere near you from now on, I will come and take her away from here myself and you'll be waving goodbye to any hope you have of breaking that curse. Do you understand me?"

He sees as his words register and immediately turns around to leave.

"I'll be waiting outside for her to dress. Do not make me wait."

*o0O0o*
//previous chapter//
*o0O0o*

A/N: What did I even write? God I did not set out to abuse Katherine when I set out writing this I swear, but then Klaus was supposed to seduce her and I kept thinking about how her using the Salvatores as toys had to come from somewhere and things… escalated. But it fits, right? Not that much different than those mute, blonde hot girls parading around the Mikaelson manor like zombies in the third season at least.

And about the couple I implied so heavily I should probably remove the 'implied' – I don't even ship them, but something made me include it. Mostly because there is this one scene a few chapters later that I really, really want to have and so I had to. Plus if I'm flipping the universe around I should mess up the other relationships a bit too.

And… okay I'm sorry about Klaus. I know some of you want him to not be an evil douche because there's more to him than that, but… well Klaus isn't innocent and lily white. And the relationship between the Mikaelsons is pretty damn broken, largely due to what happened exactly during those first 500 years.

P.S. please don't be too mean.

Fanfic: One Letter at a Time (1/1)

2013-05-12T06:29:13Z

Title: One Letter at a Time
Rating: K
Author: terapsina
Fandom: The Vampire Diaries
Pairing: Elijah/Elena
Word Count: 1300
Parts: 1/1
Summary: Elijah intervenes and rescues Elena from the hands of Stefan and Damon after 4x21. He finds a new way of dealing with her that has unexpected results. Elejah.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

*o0O0o*

* One Letter at a Time *

*o0O0o*

Her letters are stacked in a neat pile hidden from the curiosity of any one of his two siblings. They have after all both shown covert interest in the contents of the envelopes he like clockwork receives every Thursday.

By the way Rebekah has thoughtfully observed him with a slight smirk however tells him the writer might have, at some point while his sister still remained stubbornly apart from her brothers in Mystic Falls, revealed the deal he had drawn. Or maybe it had slipped into one of the hour long phone conversations he knows Rebekah sometimes still engages in with the woman he can't help but find fascinating.

Elijah's fingers play with the stack before smoothly, though with some reluctance, he takes out the one at the very bottom. He does not often let himself read them anew, but sometimes a small indulgence is permitted.

Dear Elijah,

I really wish written word could contain the sarcasm of that 'dear', because truly I still feel nothing. And I do not know how you expect this deal of ours to change that.

My week has been fine. I had a very pretty meal today, you should have seen him ('cute' doesn't even begin to cover it). He was sweet on my tongue… and his blood was tasty enough too.

What else? Oh yes, the puppies have been put in their places. What did you say to them? They haven't been trying to curdle my fun since you left. I'd say I'm grateful, but… well, that'd be a lie wouldn't it?

With a sense of apathy,

Elena.

-*o0o*-

The call from Rebekah had been a surprise, the events relayed to him even more so.

And though the stability of New Orleans was fragile at this early a stage of his move, he knew he must interfere before the unwise actions of the Salvatore men did more harm to an already hollowed spirit. He admired Elena's ability to withstand the constant blows of the world but this could be a strike even she might not survive.

Elijah had never approved of the heavy handed approach of releasing a caged humanity. Had more than once seen the horrifying consequences of some of those attempts. There was always a risk of the breaking of a psyche. The risk of the vampire going rabid from the intensity of guilt and grief and in even worst cases becoming nothing more than a blankly staring corpse that felt neither emotion nor the drive for blood and so, if someone did not stake them in mercy, would let itself starve for centuries.

Those were not the fates Elena deserved.

So here he was, back in Mystic Falls, in the middle of the night following the older of the two brothers to assess the severity of the situation.

He saw it all.

Elena readying to drink from the human friend his sister was infatuated with, Stefan stopping her and Damon joining the theater.

Because a theater was all it was. They were all in the middle of a prewritten play with a cast of three showmen performing their roles for the audience of one, moving towards the grand finale. He noticed what Elena was still too hungry to pay attention to, the shared glances between her two lovers, the hitches in the boy's heartbeat, the tensing muscles of his back… and the ring Matt Donovan carefully kept out of the line of her sight.

He could guess where this was heading and had to restrain himself as not to draw their attention to him too soon. But the rage at their idiocy was building.

'Grief. They wish to go at her through loss. Had they no sense? Could they not conceive of the damage this might create?'

"… She doesn't love anyone? Fine. Prove it! And if I'm wrong, what difference does it make? One less busboy."

Elijah calmly took a step towards them, getting ready to make his entrance and avert the oncoming tragedy he knows will come from the needless crime of stealing yet another choice from this woman he, quite despite himself, grew to admire almost a year ago.

"You're bluffing."

And before Damon's hand could twist to snap the neck in his grip Elijah had his own iron hold on the younger vampire, while pushing the two men apart from each other he couldn't help to wonder if this counted as the stealing of a scene.

He bent his head in greeting to smile at the startled Elena and then turned his gaze towards the third man. Stefan Salvatore was staring back with the tired eyes that contained both disappointment and relief. Maybe there was some lingering sense he could reason with there.

He proved the validity of Elijah's thought when helping up his cursing brother he took a grip on his shoulder to stop the temperamental sibling from foolishly attacking the much stronger Original. Damon's inability to learn from his mistakes truly was rather amusing.

"Well, it seems I've arrived just in time."

"Elijah."

Elena breathed out his name in that way of hers he'd started to look forward to at their meetings.

-*o0o*-

He shakes his head and sighs heavily, trying to rid himself of his memories before he moves towards the unopened envelope that sits on his desk. Elijah has kept himself away from opening the newest letter long enough.

It is time to find out exactly what Elena has to say to him this time, to face the words that have been written with a shaky hand and not the smooth cursive he's become familiar with over the two years since he settled in New Orleans to stitch back what is left of his family.

Dear Elijah,

I know what you planned. You knew I couldn't write my thoughts without a feeling or two bleeding through didn't you? You asked me to take these moments away from my day, so that I didn't have anything to distract me from my own mind. My own heart. You wanted me to find myself back one letter at a time.

Congratulations. It worked.

But I have a question for you now. Why did you ask me to write to you? Why not just give me a notebook and tell me to write a diary? Was it just to keep up with my progress? Was it to make sure I actually kept to my end of the deal? Or did you want to hear from me?

Was it curiosity? Or was it concern?

I don't even know why that matters to me. But before I let it all back in (like I feel I'm about to) I want to say thank you while I still can. Before everything I've done and everything I've lost overwhelms me I need to tell you this. Thank you for not pushing me. For letting me move at my own time. And for stopping them.

Always and forever you said, I guess you really did mean what you wrote.

With feeling,

Elena.

He reads through the letter thrice before the doorbell catches part of his attention. Then the excited scream of Rebekah gathers the rest of it and at the edge of his thoughts he acknowledges that his sister's laughter is one of the best changes of their move. He can remember what happiness from her sounds like again.

He stands up and moves to walk towards the hallway, there is a guest Elijah is more than ready to see again.

Because there was an oversight he hadn't foreseen when telling Elena to write to him. He hadn't realized that having this constant window into Elena's soul might pave a road to falling in love.

Fanfic: Harshness of the Seasons (4/10)

2012-12-21T16:08:04Z

Title: Harshness of the Seasons
Rating: T
Author: terapsina
Fandom: The Vampire Diaries
Pairing/Characters: Elijah/Elena, Elijah, Ayanna, Rebekah, Elena, Godric.
Word Count: 3'119
Parts: 4/10
Summary: AU To those who know the story of the making of vampires Elena will be remembered as the girl who was sacrificed for the plague they became. But in Elijah's memory she will always be the wife he loved and lost to his parents' desperation. All that he now has left is the wane hope that the body Ayanna preserved will one day wake as she promised. Elejah
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Death of Summer //Death of Summer//

Grieving Autumn //Eye of the Storm// //Heavy Rainfall// //PROMISING COLD//

*o0O0o*

*Harshness of the Seasons*

*Grieving Autumn: Promising Cold*

*o0O0o*

Elena lies peacefully as if in slumber, like she's dropped from exhaustion but at any moment she'll move to seek out the heat from Elijah's body and once she finds it smile. Cleaned of blood and wrapped in leather and fur, with her hair washed and braided by his inexperienced fingers… she looks asleep.

And if he keeps his eyes on just her face, if he ignores the chest that should be rising in sync with her breath - but isn't - and the paleness to her ever healthy sun kissed skin, he could almost fool himself into believing he might wake her with a throaty whisper by her ear. But his eyes miss nothing and so the only comfort is the mantra of Ayanna's promise chanting to an invisible rhythm within his head.

The child Elijah carefully holds pressed against his chest and over his rushing heartbeat moves lazily, all the while his son softly coos his content in that sweet as a singing bird's voice. He bites his tongue hard enough to taste blood, hides the building yells he wishes he could just release into the night continuing without end until his throat bleeds as well, but he will not frighten Godric, especially not now… not in these last moments.

"She looks like a dream, your mother! Don't you agree? She has the most beautiful smile, I wish you could remember it when you grow, it's somehow pleased and loving and never more so than when she directs it at us."

He stops, just breathes and presses the knuckles of his free hand into the point between eyebrows until his eyesight blackens and the painful memories blur. When he finally feels ready to continue without choking he trails at the steps of his last thought as thought the pause never existed.

"And she fights like a bear for her cubs when those she cares for are threatened, or if she deems it just I suppose. I wish that when you reach boyhood I could tell you the story of the time a wolf girl without her parents wondered into our village. She was threatened by a man twice her height raising his hand to strike. But Elena with nothing except her wits stepped between them with a fury as I've rarely seen since thundering in her gaze. The man has not looked her in the eye after then."

Elijah moves his stinging eyes away from Elena's stone still face to observe their son instead. Godric is sleepily grinning up at him, oblivious to the meaning of his father's words, but soothed by the voice that carries them none the less. He envies that innocence.

He wishes he could be unaware of Elena's stillness and ignorant of the person at his back, unknowing of the woman who waits patiently and gives him his moment of privacy for a farewell.

Closing his eyes to ward off the pain carried by the unstoppably flowing river of time Elijah leans forward to kiss his wife's brow, their boy presses between them like another connection they shared, among the innumerable different ones, a symbol of the most significant proof their intertwined hearts have created. Her skin feels cold across his lips, there is no hint of the familiar spark he doesn't realize he expects and he is not overwhelmed by the warm honeyed scent he had gotten to know so well. Instead, despite the water he cleansed her with and the flowers he pinned in her hair, she smells like dried blood and a burned grave.

Godric squirms in protest at his uncomfortable position between two bodies - one deadly, one dead - and Elijah relents stepping away.

"Your mother would have always stayed by you if she could. Soothed you. Sang to you. Loved you. And I've no doubt in her dreams she always will." His son's brown eyes are like a reflection of his wife's and while looking into them Elijah wills them to somehow, someday relay understanding. "So will I."

He promises yet again.

*-o0o-*

Her skin was pale and clammy, her hair stuck to her skin drenched in sweat, she was breathing laboriously in exhaustion and yet he had never seen her more beautiful. Not even during their wedding vows had she looked this radiant.

And all of it because of the nursing babe whose age he could still count in moments.

She was humming under her breath with a tender smile and yet her eyes seemed sad, his chest constricted at this small cruelty even on a day this magnificent. He very well imagined what she might feel missing from the occasion. And his thoughts were proven right with her quiet confession.

"I don't remember the words that go along with the melody anymore. I listened to this lullaby every night when I was little and I can't remember how it went."

Elijah did not answer, he knew no words that could ease this pain, but he sat by her side placing his left hand around her, carefully moved her to rest against him and hesitantly reached with his right one for his newborn son's head.

"I wish they could have met him. I wish they could have seen us together. I wish…no! Not today, I won't be sad today! Elijah? What name will we give him?"

He felt her head move under his chin as she looked up at him and his eyes flickered away from their son to connect with hers. There was a wistful star shining in them and he suddenly knew exactly the right words to ease his wife's pain.

"Godric has a brave, good sound to it."

At the sound of her father's name Elena's smile bloomed colorful like a summer flower and she grabbed his chin for a kiss. It was a simple touch of lips and yet it felt like yet another gift of love.

He held his new family in his hold and promised himself never to lose them. To always fight for them. To forever be there to ease the pain.

*-o0o-*

Compiling his will he finally turns away from the abyss of the spirit world towards the harsh eyes of the witch. Ayanna is standing by her gray mare, the horse is saddled for road with dried herbs and charms in the pack as well as food and blankets for the long roads ahead. She, like him and his family, is leaving now when their presence has created so much fear within their home.

They all know that staying would only bring more.

And Elijah studies her. Her unyielding presence is no more kind than it was when she met him in that burned circle, - How can he hand his son to a woman that hates the man her sister's magic created? How can he know she will think any differently of Godric? - and for the barest moment he listens to those words in the back of his mind screaming at him in Elena's voice. But if he wants his son safe and alive he must follow this road, even if it leads him to his love's hatred once she wakes. Even if once Godric learns words he only ever mentions his father in bitter scorn.

He must relinquish his claim on the only good he still has left of Elena.

He must, because Rebekah, the girl who wished to learn healing from Esther, savaged the throat of a man they had played with as kids. They had hunted with Willhart on occasion, had drank mead with him, fought raging fires that moved towards fields of crops with him, protected their home from the occasional fury of nature by his side. And yet even as he had struggled and cried, in the time it took her to drink him dry he had been nothing but a meal to her. No matter how much she sobbed in the arms of her brothers' of it later, there was no reigniting that life.

'Neither that one… nor Esther's.'

His mother had placed that same hunger in all of them and had paid for it. At first a whisper at the edge of their mind, it grew with every day, like flames it licked in their stomachs beseeching to consume.

Niklaus and Kol had been disappearing behind dark corners with a new maiden or a different man's wife to quench their appetite rather frequently. Elijah's only comfort was how all those women reappeared well enough, if a little pale, by the same brothers' satisfied looking sides. He care not guess if only blood was consumed.

And Elijah himself is no exception to the hunger. He has tried to control it, has tried smothering this weakness. But the savage thirst is there, always present, waiting for a nick in the shield of his control… and the grief only proved to have enhanced it. So Elijah had taken to hunting in the woods, miles out of the way of any man, but even that barely satisfies and he knows he will not be able to abstain of his friends and neighbors for long if he remains. The disgust at his urges does not seem to be an asset for despite its piercing claws he still seeks out the rushing beat of hearts with his too great hearing.

And as he listens to the small rapid sound coming from Godric's young chest he fears.

Imagines the fragility of his son's tiny bones and remembers the way he and his siblings pulled the old tree with its very roots from the ground. It had given way so easily, they had not summoned sweat and their hands had not bled, at least no longer than the time it took for a snowflake to melt on a bared palm.

'What could I do to a child if I held him too fiercely?'

The final reason, the one that decided they must leave had come with his brother's news of their mother's death. Elijah even now does not know if he wishes to weep from this loss or take satisfaction from it, does not know if he should forgive a dead woman or carry on the rage at her horrifying decision.

So as his family had readied to leave he entered the woods looking for another promise from the one person who might still care enough for Godric's life. For this one no boons were asked of him and yet he still knows he has sacrificed… everything.

While he walks towards the woman he used to recognize an aunt his feet struggle as though treading knee deep water. Ayanna waits, looking on with her wise, angry eyes. Elijah drops his gaze first, but past the catch in his throat and while already silently promising never again to do so, he pleads one final time.

"Take him with you Ayanna! Raise him! Teach him the things I no longer will have a chance to! And tell him… tell him of Elena! Do not permit him to grow without knowing of his mother's strength."

Her hands bend under his to grasp at the weight of his son and he tightens his hold in response without thought. His heart screeches and thunders and he almost, almost backs away. But then within the landscape of his mind he sees Godric's eyes as dead as Elena's, his skin as cold as his mothers, his blood as dead as his fathers. He lets go.

He lets go.

*o0O0o*

As he stands at the very edge of the trees, his back resting against a stump of one of the pines, he simply breathes. The air hurts as it travels down his throat, his chest swells with the smells of the rotting leaves and musty dirt and he almost vomits at the overwhelming odor.

He lets it out and that is almost worse, because there is nothing to distract him from his empty hands and no whisper of the paling scent of a young boy to catch in the web of his senses. He can no longer even hear his son in the distance. Ayanna has vanished into the twilight with all the life that had been left in him.

Now he finds himself feeling as alone as Elena must have all those years past.

*-o0o-*

The day she had become someone Elijah considered to be important was five cycles of seasons before her death. Although it took four of those summers until she reached the significance of what she came to mean to him, he had known her before even then. But of course he knew almost everyone from the surrounding villages. No one wished to live too far from the Caves after all.

But he'd only recognized her name and face then, had only met her a few times because of Finn's wife. On this day that changed.

He had been hunting a stag through the trees of the surrounding forest since mid noon of that day and despite the hours that had gone by he was not yet ready to give up. Then Elijah noticed a small stream not too large a distance in front of him and decided to set up in wait, ready in the likely case that the animal was as thirsty as him.

After hiding behind a fallen acorn and checking the direction of the wind he drew his bow and placed an arrow ready to fly, with his shoulder muscles tensing from strain he crouched low and stilled entirely.

But the trees around him were silent and no animals came to drink.

Then suddenly there came a loud rustling somewhere to the left of where his arrow was pointing and the sound of branches breaking, giving way for something that did not care if it alerted his presence to either prey or a stronger hunter. The only animals that behaved that way were bears for which he was not prepared for, so with carefully contained alarm he quickly changed his trajectory hoping he would not have need to face one.

As practiced countless times he drew the string more tightly and slowed his breathing for its release, the next instance someone ran into his sight and he almost shot the arrow at its unintended target. But before his hand could do the familiar motion his mind speedily took notice of the form of the aimed at victim.

The runner in question was doing so on two legs and had long, dark tresses of hair. It was a girl and by her height he'd have to place her as a child not much older than Rebekah's thirteen years.

Swallowing back the bile of that realization he jumped to his feet to catch the fleeing girl. He could hear her sobbing as he shortened the distance and was momentarily surprised at not having heard the cries before.

She was just within arms reach when she finally noticed him and screamed. His sudden appearance must have distracted as well as frightened her, for she immediately tripped, dropping on her knees to the ground with an audible grunt and then laid still.

Elijah finally had enough time to really notice her distraught appearance. Her hair was falling in every direction, leaves and small branches caught within them and singed on one side. It's the last part that really captured his notice and led him to become aware of the other signs, like the soot on her face and arms, the reddened skin of her right hand and the smoking parts of her dress.

She was running from a fire.

His eyes followed the direction she came from and tried remembering what lay behind the slight hill from which the smoke he only now saw was drifting away.

And suddenly he recognized the young sister of the woman Finn took for a wife. This then reminded him of the house built within the forest some distance from the rest of the village… right about where his eye was resting.

He knelt down and rolled the girl on her back. Her breathing was rapid and shallow and a little cough took what was left of it. But she grabbed his hand, clenching it so hard it was almost painful and opened her mouth as if to speak.

He leaned forward to hear better and finally looked into her eyes. They were wide and half glazed over, but it did not take away from their desperate strength.

"Save them! Please, save them!"

*-o0o-*

While the world begins to come into focus once more, thankfully distracting him from yet another memory, he hears a voice at his back. It is almost as sad as his own would be if he could manage to release even a single word.

And he knows that voice. He has held its owner as she wept at loss, since the time she learned how he has listened to the sound of it as she used it to laugh. There is no light in Rebekah's voice now however, she sounds tired and coarse as if she has screamed herself raw the way Elijah has not permitted himself to.

"I am sorry she turned her back on you, I will never do that!"

He knows to whom it is she is now speaking with of course. The brother they learned is only half theirs, the brother who Elijah has given promise to contain. More importantly he is the brother who is as much his family as Finn and Rebekah and Kol.

Instead of alone in the dark continuing to mourn those he has already lost he joins the siblings conversing by the grave of their mother. There is no way for them to repair his heart of course, there is nothing they might say or do that would make Elena's death or leaving Godric acceptable, but he still has the duty to look after them. He will protect them the way he failed to guard the two people he loved so much.

"Nor will I!"

Rebekah looks towards him and Elijah can't help to feel gladdened at the relief in her eyes. At least this he can still do successfully.

His sister was always the one he worried for most. He sees how freely she loves and so fears for the days when that strength will betray her, he is determined to push that event further away into the mists of future.

"We stick together as one!" She proclaims in certainty with her eyes shining fiercely and her voice holding no doubt. She promises with so much belief and determination that Elijah suddenly, proudly sees the woman behind his sister. "Always and forever."

His hands clasp those of his siblings and he echoes Rebekah's words.

He will always look after the family he has left. He will forever search for a way to wake his wife. He will never abandon the hope that one day, someday Elijah will have a chance to embrace Elena and Godric again. Even if it takes him fifty winters to do so, he will not give up. His heart belongs to them all.

'Always and Forever.'

*o0O0o*
//previous chapter// //next chapter//
*o0O0o*

A/N2: So? How was it? Did it make your chest constrict? Because I was aiming for that, I hope it lived up to that goal of mine. And how did you like Elijah's last promise? Was it cruel of me? To be fair as far as I see it Elijah doesn't really have the information to guess that he won't age, I mean werewolves age, why would he think his family's any different?

Anyway, next time you see an update you can be expecting five hundred years to have gone past. Elijah will act more like the ruthless guy we all know and adore, but he'll still have the goal to get Elena back, which... I admit might make him occasionally even more ruthless ;)

Fanfic: Harshness of the Seasons (3/10)

2012-11-12T18:19:03Z

Title: Harshness of the Seasons
Rating: T
Author: terapsina
Fandom: The Vampire Diaries
Pairing/Characters: Elijah/Elena, Elijah, Esther, Niklaus, Kol.
Word Count: 3'133
Parts: 3/10
Summary: AU To those who know the story of the making of vampires Elena will be remembered as the girl who was sacrificed for the plague they became. But in Elijah's memory she will always be the wife he loved and lost to his parents' desperation. All that he now has left is the wane hope that the body Ayanna preserved will one day wake as she promised. Elejah
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
A/N: I'm sorry I made you wait so long, but it turns out that including the right amount of emotion in a scene that requires much of it… isn't easy. I hope I didn't entirely fail. Also here you'll see more of Esther, Klaus and Kol.

Death of Summer //Death of Summer//

Grieving Autumn //Eye of the Storm// //HEAVY RAINFALL//

*Harshness of the Seasons*
*Grieving Autumn: Heavy Rainfall*
*o0O0o*

Her open hand reaches for his shoulder in comfort. It is as smooth and as warm as he remembers it being, but at her touch it feels as if black tendrils of some subtle poison are joining his blood through the skin of his shoulder, with its false sympathy slithering lower towards his chest and then deeper, finally reaching his grieving heart.

Those are the same hands that used to soothe a boy into sleep despite the horrific sounds of the howling wolves and the damp cold of the caves they sheltered in. But right then Elijah has to fight a darker urge, one he has never before experienced and never wished to. He has never struck his mother, or any woman, but that same extended hand carried a blade that slit open Elena's wrist and so, for a single fraction of a moment, he imagines grabbing it and grinding.

The delicate bones would twist until the wrist snapped. And maybe she could feel a raindrop of what Elena had gone through.

What irony that his mother has taught him to be a better man than that.

Instead of acting the monster Esther has made him he responds in a way that seems to injure her far more and for that he refuses to feel empathy.

"Do not touch me! You have lost that right."

He slowly, intently takes a step out of the reach of her arms. And though he still finds no joy from the duress in her usually cool, blue eyes they do not move him either. All he can see is the clotted blood she has washed from her hands, all he can hear is the frightened questions Elena must have whispered and the lies his mother would have spilled to bring his wife to that clearing, to be slaughtered as something no more significant than an ant.

"Elijah, you must understand. I did not wish this, if there had been any other way to protect you all from them, but Henrik proved that…"

"There was! You should have let us stay as we were, we could have left here. The wolves would never have followed us, this was their home before it became ours, and they would have remained to protect it not chased after us as bloodhounds. The only reason you and father chose this path was pride."

His mother could invoke Henrik's name all she wished, it did not absolve her of her act. It did not command his forgiveness. It only dragged his esteem of her further down to be trampled on by the horses she and Niklaus loved so much.

"My son…"

That one word breaks the hold on his restraint far more than any she had spoken before. Elijah might have come from her loins, he might have been her son for his whole life and loved her without question since birth, but his mother, the woman who raised him and taught him about the importance of family, would never have bled her son's wife for magic and revenge.

The woman who was his mother is gone, has joined the spirits of their ancestors more permanently than he will allow Elena to remain. So he will not answer to a title she no longer has a right to breathe out. Not of him.

"Use my name Esther."

His voice is harsh and certain, final. He can see her waver in its face, but Esther, the sorceress and the healer, has never been weak and it does not surprise him when even this does not break her. Instead she opens her mouth to reply, but Elijah has something to say to her yet and interrupts her empty platitudes.

"Family above all! Was that not what you would say to us when we quarreled between ourselves? To take care of each other, because we were all that any of us truly had? But Elena was our family as well, she might not have been your daughter, but Finn raised her for years as his own and she gave birth to your grandson, my son. You gave her advice when Godric was ill and she sat by his cradle all through the night, as we waited for you to finish the poultice to lower his fever. My mother would not have sacrificed her to the Gods."

Esther stays silent at his words, her face gradually hardening into stone while she listens. Her back straightens and for the first time, behind the façade of the woman who had once sung lullabies to her children, he saw the powerful witch with the will of iron who could frighten their neighbors into peace.

If only she would have kept that goal.

"It had to be done Elijah. Elena's life for all of yours was the only option and if you hate me from now until you meet Odin, to join her and your two brothers in Asgard? It will be worth it, because that day will not come on the morrow now. Not for you, nor your father, nor your brothers or sister. I would rather live with your eternal scorn than hold yet another cold son in my arms."

Her eyes finally leave him and he follows them to the silently watchful siblings he had forgotten about in his blinding anger at this woman he wishes he could hate as completely as he used to love her. But family runs deeper than just blood and hatred is not all consuming even now.

His family is watching them silent and frozen. For them he feels his heart rise in his throat and his face softens at their torn expressions. They did not ask for this change or its price any more than he did. They have all lost much with this declaration of war their parents have put forth as well. All of them are looking from their mother to him in…

…all except for Niklaus. His rash brother is not in the room at all. Sometime after Elijah's arrival he has fled.

*o0O0o*

When Elijah finds him Niklaus is lying on the ground between the broken, scattered limbs of the forest trees and fiercely staring up at the glittering stars. His no longer boyish face is almost entirely hooded in shadows, hiding his expression from the practiced eye of an elder sibling. Only his irises shine from the light of the moon. They are dry however, although by the chaotic scene in front of him Elijah easily concludes that rage and not apathy is responsible.

Thrown branches, fallen pines and even a dead doe with its guts painting the earth black beneath it are what greet him. It is like a conjuration of a nightmare. A frigid chill suddenly rains upon him to with its chill foresight command his attention. Elijah stills, for a moment the possibilities of what they are and what is yet to become of them horrifies him.

Closing his eyes, he tries to forget the fear in the lines of Ayanna's face when she traded Elena's life for his word. This is Niklaus, the boy who loved waking up to watch the sun at its dawn while Rebekah and Kol complained it too early, 'because he thought it beautiful. This is the young man who enjoys riding, and sparring and showing their sister how to wield a blade despite father's rigid protests. And whoever's son he might be, he will always remain Elijah's brother.

'Like Esther was supposed to forever be mother?'

The thought coldens him like icy water dripping down an unclothed back, but before he can ponder upon the foreboding and the uncertain further, Niklaus speaks.

"I am sorry Elijah."

The walls in him wither, for the few moments it had taken to fear the witch's prediction he had not been thinking of Elena. His brother's condolences however are the cold wave crashing over a swaying ship, only the barest of grips are keeping Elijah afloat and out of reach of the hissing sea monster waiting for him if he stops and thinks about the white skin, the clean line of a precisely made cut, the blank eyes, all of it the immortalized agony of her last moments. His own pain does not promise a soon end.

Elena had kissed him only two mornings ago. Her eyes had glinted as she teased him, her lips had curled invitingly into a coy smile and her head had tilted in victory once he pulled her against him. She had been there every night for what feels like a lifetime now. Her new absence cuts. And he can only guess at the time it will take to experience that sheer, overwhelming happiness once again.

Elijah's answer when it finally comes is a faint, tired whisper. Niklaus should not have been able to hear it, but their new nature has played with their ears as well and so he does.

"I know."

He receives back a look of mute hesitation. Elijah knows that face, has seen it countless times when his siblings have something to tell that they are not quite ready to admit but feel they must. So despite his own ripped apart chest he sits down beside his little brother, waiting for him to let out whatever it is that had made him attack their surroundings with this much uncontained aggression.

It only takes a moment.

"I did love her Elijah! I did! But… not like you do, I did not want to admit to that when I first learned of your intent to take her as your wife of course, because you already had our mother and father's affection, why should you have been more deserving of Elena's as well? If I loved her more, then she would love me as well. That was the way it had to work, is it not correct? The truth is though… I did not want to give her up, except I never really had her did I? She was always all yours."

Elijah does not know how to respond. Does he lie? Does he say Elena could have chosen him to ease the suffering he now sees?

He supposes he could…

…but the problem is that Niklaus is almost correct. The flaw in his thinking is what could not have ever gained Elena's favor. His brother never understood the way Elena was built, he did not comprehend their lives in that unique way of hers. Even Elijah struggled to, he lacked the level of compassion Elena stood by with her unyielding conviction, but he understood. He strived.

Elena was as much her own as she was his. And in a different sense she was Finn's as well. Elena loved more than just her husband, she loved the family she lost, the father she gained and their son above all else. The one thing, the most significant thing, that Elijah knows made it impossible for her to give Niklaus what he desired, was his brother's inability to but for a moment imagine sharing her, not even with the people with whom jealousy should not have been an issue.

Niklaus was capable of love, but Elijah had long since noticed how the loneliness in his heart made him too selfish to give it without any clauses. Elijah prays for the day his brother finds a woman who might heal that wound.

Thoughts of his brother's past infatuation with Elena wakes a long forgotten thought and despite himself, he laughs in amusement of the realization. His voice cracks, it almost sounds as if he is crying instead and yet he can't keep this memory to himself.

"Did you know that all the sons of our father have been taken with my wife? Finn thinks of her as a daughter. There's you and me. And remember how Henrik brought her flowers every morning for a moon until father put a stop to it? Even Kol…"

Niklaus finally looks towards him with the slightest interest drawing across his eyebrows.

"… even Kol fell under her beauty. It was the briefest of fancies true, did not even last a day as I remember, but he did."

The memory is still fresh, maybe even more so now than it would have been a week previous. Elijah had been so enamored with her while observing that scene, so oblivious to just how minor that feeling was compared to the Love that would grow.

-*o0o*-

Since he first heard her laugh at him through the leaves of the tree Elijah had met the lovely Elena on a few more occasions. He had learned that talking to her was easier than to anyone else he had ever spent any significant time with. She simply had the most unique outlook on their lives, one he had never considered before.

She saw the good in the close contact they shared with their more powerful neighbors and not, as he himself had, only the danger of it. He had heard of the constant warring the people born in this land participated in of course, but Elena saw the wolves, although rabid once every full faced moon, as protection against this as well.

And Elijah knew it to be true once he thought on it. Their modest village had never been attacked by outsider spears. Neither did they need to contest with many more numbers for the animals of the forest. She had insisted, there might have been enough to share with one other group, but they could have faced hunger, either when winter came or the smothering heat of the summer struck, if they'd had need to do so with more.

And she also passionately described to him that however harsh the life was here, it must be more fortunate than the one facing the people of the land their parents fled for this one.

So Elijah realized Elena was intelligent as well as beautiful and every coming sunrise he saw more of both, was unable to close his eyes to either despite the significant effort he spent in the attempt. He could not have helped but to admire this young woman.

So here he was, walking towards the field where the wild horses grazed, knowing Elena would either join him there or was already waiting. His heart was pumping faster than he was used to. It was an intoxicating sensation.

But just before he had the chance to exit the tree line he heard more than one voice and slowed in caution to listen.

"But Elena, are you sure you do not want to go for a horse ride? It would be most entertaining, do you not agree? And you will have the rare pleasure to be by my side besides!"

The voice was familiar and it did not take but a moment for Elijah to identify its source, although he was sure that the smug inflection would have made him aware even without the blood tie between them.

Kol seemed to have chosen the sweetheart of the week and to Elijah's surprising displeasure the girl in question was Elena. He need not have worried if the loud huff Elena let out to be heard by him was anything to go by.

"These horses would throw you off their backs before you had the chance to even mount them."

Carefully watching his steps now, as not to alert the two people he moved closer and slowly crouched once they were in sight.

Elena was standing stiffly with her hands across her chest and a displeased frown on her face. Kol on the other hand oozed carefree pleasure. His brother was enjoying the conversation he saw.

Elijah… was not. Although he dared not yet care to explore the 'why' of it.

"So come back home with me Siren. I'm more than willing to show you how quick and able to mount I can be."

Elijah's hands fisted the grass beneath him in irritation at the boast and he almost moved to interfere, had he not been slowly growing to know Elena he would have, but by now he knew that she preferred to deal with her problems personally whenever possible.

Besides, Elijah knew that unlike his other younger siblings Kol dealt with rejection without the smallest of issues. If Elena proved to be too stubborn in her refusal for his company he would soon change his sights to the fair smith's daughter or a bright eyed friend's sister. But that would only hold true if Kol did not notice Elijah's presence, for what he thought of as humiliation was a different matter entirely.

A matter, he knew, that would go a great deal more badly for Elena's honor, at least where the biased opinions of their village men and women were concerned. Despite how much Elijah loved all his family, he was not entirely blind to their shortcomings and Kol was not above a few careful lies if he thought himself slighted. But only if Kol came to be aware of Elijah's presence would he need worry about this.

Momentarily he heard the hiss of pain Kol let out, he raised his eyebrow in surprise as Elena grabbed his brother by the ear twisting, and amused he concluded she had this situation well within her able control in any occasion. His help would only interfere.

"Now, Kol?" She sweetly asked not even blinking at Kol's awkwardly half bowing form. "Did you not have someplace else you should be?"

His brother glared up at Elena and grinned wickedly.

"I did. I can see when I'm not welcome."

Finally letting go she stepped back a serene smile already crossing her face, carefully hiding a touch of triumph. Elijah observed more cautiously, this seemed too simple.

But Kol was heading back towards the village and Elijah swiftly moved to stay out of his line of sight. Luckily his brother was not quite as skilled a hunter as Elijah or father and did not take notice.

A few steps before he could leave entirely Kol halted. Elijah winced, Kol always liked the last word and unfortunately he had a particular knack for them, Rebekah tended to throw things shortly after this seemingly innocent look crossed Kol's face.

"How is Elijah doing? I rarely see him anymore, if I did not know him better… I'd think he was sneaking off to meet some pretty maiden."

-*o0o*-

Niklaus' lips twitch at his story, no doubt enjoying Kol's parting comment in a way Elijah will never appreciate, but otherwise they both remain silent.

Elijah does not doubt they are both immersing themselves in the better recollections left by his lovely Elena now and so fighting off the pain that rains upon them so ruthlessly from the latest one.

*o0O0o*
//previous chapter// //next chapter//
*o0O0o*

A/N2: Turns out there's still going to be one more chapter in this time before I jump across five hundred years. This chapter grew a bit longer than planned, so I cut it in half. On the bright side, I'm halfway through with the next one already, so hopefully the window between updates won't be this long.
Be a dear! Review!

Fanfic: Harshness of the Seasons (2/10)

2012-08-25T08:12:44Z

Title: Harshness of the Seasons
Rating: T
Author: terapsina
Fandom: The Vampire Diaries
Pairing/Characters: Elijah/Elena, Elijah Mikaelson, Elena, Finn Mikaelson.
Word Count: 3'197
Parts: 2/10
Summary: AU To those who know the story of the making of vampires Elena will be remembered as the girl who was sacrificed for the plague they became. But in Elijah's memory she will always be the wife he loved and lost to his parents' desperation. All that he now has left is the wane hope that the body Ayanna preserved will one day wake as she promised. Elejah.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
A/N: So writing this has become somewhat of a pleasure for me. I must have gone through it fifty times by now adding and subtracting stuff, correcting the mistakes I could see and yet enjoying it. That's a first for me, so I hope this means you like reading this as much as I loved writing it.

Death of Summer //Death of Summer//

Grieving Autumn //EYE OF THE STORM//

*o0O0o*

*Harshness of the Seasons*

*Grieving Autumn: Eye of the Storm*

*o0O0o*

There were two reasons, years apart, for why Elena had become what she was… will always be to him.

It's the second one, with her cold palm lying slack in his, he reflects on now. There is still that unreasonable hope that if only he doesn't let go, doesn't blink away from her face, she will wake up. That she'll open her eyes, smile up at him and reach out to remove a strand of hair from his brow, running her thumb over it like she's done a hundred mornings before.

But even as the sun dawns, slowly traveling over the treetops that surround them and up her torn dress to their joined fingers, even as he flinches away from the sudden onslaught of pain and the smell of burning flesh, she never once reacts.

Not even as he grabs her into his arms and, with a speed he's never before been capable of, runs towards home all the while gritting his jaw to smother the agony.

And he would suddenly do anything to have power over time, so he could take himself back to the day he looked at her and for the first time saw. Maybe he could stop her from what came after, maybe she would still be alive now if she never grew to love him.

-*-*-*-*-

Elijah, to rid his spear of the blood from the boar he had impaled it on in his most recent hunt, was cleaning it in the solitude of the place he preferred for its tranquil silence. The ancient oak he was sitting under shielded him from the sun that was pleasantly warm in the clearing he currently resided in, but rarely broke through to the ground of the massive forest around him.

Except this time, he needed to fight off the sensation of being subtly watched.

Carefully, keeping his activity monotonous, he surreptitiously watched the field around him for any out of place movements or sounds. Nothing seemed to be wrong and yet the feeling persisted.

Just as he was ready to dismiss his wakened alertness as the delayed reaction to the hunt, the branch above him creaked under some unknown weight.

Elijah rapidly sprung to his feet, removing himself from the vulnerable position under the hidden threat, and clenched his palm on the spear in readiness to defend himself. And yet what greeted him weren't the unmerciful eyes of a human wolf but the amused laughter of a young woman.

He relaxed, waiting for the mirthful girl to show herself. It did not take long until the person, he soon recognized as Finn's ward, expertly dropped to the ground with a proud smile.

"I expected you to notice me sooner Elijah. Are you sure you should be a hunter?"

Her teasing remark caught him slightly off guard, so he didn't take the time to think through his words as he usually would have.

"I almost killed you Elena. Must you always startle me when I'm holding a weapon?"

He regretted this oversight as soon as he spoke once Elena's eyes flashed with an old pain he more than understood the reason for. And he himself, a moment too late, remembered the day this woman had lost everything important to her. He chose to divert her wandering mind with a change of subject.

"What are you doing here?"

Elena inclined her head in gratitude at this and rolled her eyes in a sudden exasperation that ignited his curiosity.

"I'm hiding from your brother."

He lifted his eyebrow at this, as far as he knew Elena got along with Finn well enough. And after seeing some of the interactions between her and her guardian, he even carried the feeling that by this point Finn saw her as his own daughter.

"Finn? Why would you want to do so?"

But then, before Elena could have time to respond, he reminded himself that this same father's love might be reason enough for a woman with seventeen summers behind her.

"No, I meant Niklaus. He is under the mistaken impression that I enjoy his advances."

This was truly news to him. Elijah had not known Niklaus carried affection for anyone, let alone Finn's ward. He thought of maybe leaving to learn more from the source, but this new found information, for some reason, suddenly prompted Elijah to look at Elena in a way he until now hadn't thought of.

For four years, she had been the unlucky child of a fate's whim. The young girl, who survived tragedy only to then face the loss of everything dear to her.

She had grown in the four years since her family's death, matured, in a way that was not entirely physical. Her form had changed of course, her face lost the fullness of childhood and her body grown into that of a beautiful woman's, but it was more than that. Her eyes were less naïve but somehow more kind and she held herself with a certain poise that told him of the sureness, and strength, of her character. He could certainly see why Niklaus would find her a desirable bride.

Concerned with the direction his thoughts were taking he chose to lighten the surroundings that were suddenly charged with an almost solid energy which, by the way Elena was suddenly looking at him in curious interest, even she noticed.

"I would tell him to leave you be, but I'm afraid that would only encourage him."

His brother could be stubborn and as Elijah was well aware, - especially intent on the things out of his reach. If only to his own mind, Elijah had to sadly admit, most notable of those were their father's acceptance and their mother's affection.

"Probably."

Elena agreed ruefully and Elijah quickly concluded that if she could reach the same conclusion as him, she knew Niklaus at least a little. Maybe his brother did have a slight chance to gain Elena's favor. Yet unexpectedly, this possibility somehow brought on an unwelcome unrest he'd never before experienced and could not name.

-*-*-*-*-

That day marked the beginning of their story, it was this shared moment that revealed the first strands of the natural connection binding him to Elena. But now he will also remember this as the day that made them take the very first steps towards the journey that has led to her death.

*o0O0o*

As Godric sweetly looks up at Elijah, - his tiny fingers stretching out for his father's face and his own young one, with the determined intent to reach his set goal plain to be seen, scrunched up adorably in concentration, - the ripping pain in his chest somewhat eases.

But it also, sadly, simultaneously grows. For he recognizes that expression, that stubborn will to never surrender to hardship, and where the day before it would have made him smile, today it is a reminder of what has been torn from his arms by the person he had always been certain he'd be able to trust, without fail, forever.

His son has inherited Elena's spirit.

He understands Godric should be too young for Elijah to be able to claim this so firmly, but it is a truth he can feel on levels not supernatural, but also not grounded in earth.

It's similar to the feeling that told him his heart would always belong to Elena. He knows this to be fact, even now. Undeniable like the sense, at the back of his mind, had hounded him to find Elena after she went to meet his mother only the evening before.

Ignoring the darker urge demanding he turn away from his child's seeking hold he leans forward, giving Godric access to play with the nose that has seemingly fascinated him. And although he does not smile, the rigid lines of his face relax and his rapid breathing calms at the innocent touch.

Elijah knows that if he closes his eyes and buries himself in the scent of his son, he can pretend that nothing has changed since yesterday. Elena would be just outside, gathering water or berries, or kindling for their hearth. And when returning she'd find them like this, secretly smile at him and think him unaware of her gesture. He wouldn't tell her that when she joins his surroundings his eyes always find her, as if he could feel the comfort of her presence even if she makes not a sound.

But his useless dip into the lake of imagined is harshly interrupted by the knock at his door. His real world crashes back into place, shattering the beating drum within his chest once again.

And while he gently, carefully places Godric back into his warm crib a raw rage begins to coil under his ribs, contained only by his unwillingness to frighten his son. He swallows the urge to unleash all the simmering agony of his grief onto everyone he could reach, make them bleed as he is bleeding and then make them scream as he wished to at the sight of her cut wrists. Instead, unsteady and shaking with effort, he leans forward to the only piece of Elena still breathing and kisses their sons dark hair.

Elijah is across the room and opening his doors seconds after, ready to unleash his fury on the person responsible for his loss. He wants to rip Esther apart till she's nothing but blood and flesh, the hungry monster seeking to appease the man's broken heart.

But it is not Esther waiting on the other side, nor is it his father who must be just as guilty of this betrayal if not more so. Although he should have prepared for this guest, he had not been. Only now, confronted with the face he grew up along with, does he remember there is one other man who would weep by his wife's grave.

"Finn?"

He grasps the edge of the open door, cracking it under his too tight hold, while he seeks for some nonexistent words that could possibly express his unending sorrow.

"Elijah!" Finn inclines his head, seemingly acknowledging Elijah's odd reaction at his presence, "Mother wishes to see all of us to explain… what has been done. So I came to gather you and Elena to meet her."

Realization, along with horror dawns, his mother has not confessed her gravest sin. Finn does not yet know who their parents have sacrificed without regret. Their mother has lacked courage to admit, to Finn, who is the one they have bled for their children's protection. And this means he must reveal the tragedy he shall never accept himself.

"I cannot."

His voice loses sound at the words as he stares into his brother's oblivious eyes. How can Elijah continue, when even that much barely traverses his lips?

"Why?"

So he chooses not to speak. Instead he grabs Finn by his arm and drags him into his home, to confront him with the body he has been mourning over for hours now. He knows the exact moment in time that Finn sees her, for he feels the man, who was almost a father to her, shudder against his palm. He lets go and observes as Finn rushes forward, crouches by Elena's side, and reaches for her face, but just like Godric was unable to touch him minutes ago neither can his brother connect with her skin. Unlike Elijah, who breached the space for the sake of his son, the daughter of Finn's heart does not respond.

It is this that prompts him to answer his brother's forgotten question.

"Because she is dead."

He's aware his words were unnecessary. By the presence of the heaving breaths of his usually calm brother Elijah knows he has already concluded this cruel truth, but the words have already escaped him.

It is as he observes his brother falling apart that something in Elijah dangerously quiets. The raging emotions, he was slaving under until now, do not disappear, he doubts they ever will now, but it's as if they are now circling around him in the way of hungry predators. He just needs to flinch under their sharp gaze and they will pounce at once, but while he stands still, unwilling to move, they just watch in wait for a sign of his weakness.

It is a hollow sensation, but it leaves his mind clear of the overwhelming noise and able to think… to plan.

"What happened to her?"

The question sounds angrier than Elijah has ever heard coming from this sibling, he has always seen Finn as the most steady of them, the one least likely to abandon his position of peace. He is the one who resolves any strife between Rebekah and Kol and the one who always tries to pull Niklaus back from the brink of a foolish or dangerous idea.

But now Finn is nothing except a father with a dead daughter and a rage without direction, seeking it.

So Elijah, battling back his scruples, mercilessly guides him to a target. Because he will need an ally, and in any case he is telling no lies with his next line.

"Mother needed a sacrifice. Elena fit the requirements of the spell that has been cast on us, apparently nothing else but our survival mattered. Not even Elena."

He knows he should understand the reasons of the woman who birthed him. She had only wanted to protect them from the same fate as the one that befell Henrik, but Elena was his wife, the mother of his son and the girl Finn raised as his own. She was family as well, and no explanation could ever suffice.

But he pushes all this out of his mind as he sees the table he has dined at every night crashing against a wall and hears the responding wails of Godric. He sends a glare towards Finn and goes to pick up the squirming, scared bundle of the babe that, until now, had happily been ignoring them.

It almost feels normal to soothe the cries of the child he loves more every passing moment.

He starts to hum the lullaby he's heard Elena sing to Godric before and closes his eyes, holding back the threat of the painful emotions that are crashing against him like waves against the dam in the middle of a storm. But he can still, even over the cries of his child, hear it as his brother starts pacing across his room.

He hears more than that, hears the blood rushing through Finn with a steady thrum responding to his beating heart. He can hear his brother's chest expanding for air and the little hiss he lets out when he exhales. He doesn't need to look at him to be able to guess exactly where he stands, exactly how far from him.

It's as if he suddenly observes Finn as an enemy despite the opposite being far truer.

Not too long later Godric calms down, Finn says nothing in the time it takes, but as the quiet begins to linger Elijah knows that more questions are brewing. So instead of waiting for one, he reveals the single thing he knows will gain him Finn's support in whatever awaits him.

"I will get Elena back."

Finn stops, staring at him in incomprehension. Elijah connects their gazes, willing his brother to believe him, hoping his own face looks more assured of this than he is himself.

"How? She is dead. Gone."

He grimaces, still not quite alright with hearing those words in connection to Elena, but squares his shoulders and explains himself.

"Asleep. Ayanna cast a spell on her last night, it will preserve her body so time does not ravage it. I just need to find a way to wake her up."

"Are you certain of this Elijah? Completely sure?"

He can see Finn starting to hope in the same way he has since the witch gave her word. And he wished he could respond with a 'yes', but although he has decided to use Finn's love for his wife in his quest to save her, he cannot lie.

He will betray his honor only as far as it takes, but no further.

"No. But does that at all matter?"

Finn doesn't respond. He doesn't really need to, after all Elijah knows that they share the way they look at this. Elena is important to them both and so a mere possibility is all that's required for them to do anything within their power, to seek out a way, to save her.

Elijah chooses not to admit to what 'anything' requires of him.

But there must be something Finn has guessed, for he walks towards Elijah and grabs him firmly by his neck, holding him in place, as he looks him squarely in the eye. This is a position he remembers well, he could never forget the last time Finn placed him in this grip.

"What have you bargained with?"

He wishes to look away but does not, like he did not before. Although in this case Elijah refuses to respond at all. Finn does not need to know about the high price of Elena's life, only he should carry the burden of the secret which will require of him to deceive Niklaus.

And as he readies to change the subject, he tries and fails to not recall the time last spring, when Finn placed him in this same firm grip and asked him a question with only one correct answer. He can still hear the earnest promise he made that day, the one he now has failed to upkeep.

"So brother, shall we go meet mother and let her explain this?"

The memory begins to blossom within his mind and he unwillingly shudders under the rabid gazes of the predators.

-*-*-*-*-

"I have taken care of Elena since you brought her to me, wounded and unconscious, and with the news of my wife's death besides. I watched her grow and soothed her nightmares. I taught her how to use a bow and how to wrap a wound. So Elijah, I will give you my blessing to your love for her, despite the secret you and her have kept from me. But you must promise me, you will protect her in my place now. You will not let any harm come to her."

His brother's arm was tightly, on the edge of painful, clamped against the back of his neck. Finn's eyes were serious and unwavering, waiting for his answer as if Elijah's life depended on the one he gave.

Their brother's bond had always been strong, but this once it would mean nothing, for Elijah knew Finn found Elena to be far more precious. And he did not condemn it, for Elena deserved all the devotion in the world.

"Elena is fully capable of protecting herself, we both know this."

Finn's intense glare did not waiver, clearly waiting for more. So Elijah uttered a vow he had no intention of breaking.

"But if she ever faces something beyond even her, you have my word Finn, I will stand in the way of the monster wishing her harm."

*o0O0o*
//previous chapter// //next chapter//
*o0O0o*

A/N2: So what did you think? Did you like how I wrote Finn? Turns out he's harder than he looks, especially the human him who hasn't yet faced all that would someday turn him a bit suicidal. Also don't you think I chose the perfect brother for Elena to share a bond similar to the one canon has between her and Alaric?

Alright the next chapter is the last one placed in this time, after that there's going to be a time jump. Did you enjoy the flashbacks? I'm personally rather proud of the first one.

Fanfic: Harshness of the Seasons (1/10)

2012-08-02T13:06:41Z

Title: Harshness of the Seasons
Rating: T
Author: terapsina
Fandom: The Vampire Diaries
Pairing: Elijah/Elena
Word Count: 3'800
Parts: 1/10
Summary: AU To those who know the story of the making of vampires Elena will be remembered as the girl who was sacrificed for the plague they became. But in Elijah's memory she will always be the wife he loved and lost to his parents' desperation. All that he now has left is the wane hope that the body Ayanna preserved will one day wake as she promised. Elejah
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
A/N: I wanted to explore a world where Elena was the Original Petrova and to see if I could make it into Elejah without damaging the connection I love about them. Whether I succeeded or not of course is not up to me to judge.

Death of Summer //DEATH OF SUMMER//

*o0O0o*

*Harshness of the Seasons*

*Death of Summer*

*o0O0o*

Elena's hand fleetingly slides through Elijah's hair until clenching and pulls him towards her with more direct intent than before this had begun only a moon ago he ever expected of her. And as she starts to kiss him until he loses the air in his chest, he considers only letting it happen and to forget why he brought her to their clearing in the first place. But he needs to know why she returns his attention while ignoring that of his brother's as well as those of the rest of the unmarried men who follow every move this beautiful maiden makes.

She has lived through seventeen summers while he already passed his twenty eighth. There are younger men who would no doubt offer her as much, if not more than him, and yet it is not their arms she seeks.

So as they part for breath, his tightly coiled body heaving against hers he doesn't restrain the question any longer.

"Why me? You could choose to spend your time with any village man here."

She looks at him with her gentle gaze and runs her palm over the side of his face with a care that he has never seen her gift any other. She leans closer with her flushed cheeks and bites her lip, for a moment he thinks she will kiss him instead of answering. But then Elena sends towards him a look of confounded disbelief as if she couldn't quite believe his uncertainty, as though the answer should be as clear as the sky is above them right now.

"Don't you know?"

Elijah does not reply, waiting for her to say what until now has only ever been implied. She takes a step back, crossing her arms and transfixing him with the barest of smiles. The answer is everything he ever wished to read from her always inviting mouth.

"Because you Elijah are the one who did not try to steal kisses when I did not wish to give them away. Because you talk with me about every thought your mind contains, engage me in conversation interested in my answers instead of trying to impress me with your swordplay, hunting prowess or handsome face. Because Elijah, you are not like anyone else here. If I spend the rest of my life by your side and in your embrace I will never regret a sunset. I love you Elijah, it is so very, very simple."

She is like an apparition from another world, almost supernatural in her graceful beauty. Her dark eyes pull at his soul, her brown hair fall in waves free across her shoulders masking her curves. And the look in her gaze is more vulnerable than ever before, she is offering her heart and the bravery he suddenly sees in her almost blinds him to the fear and vulnerability it protects. But he does see those too and he can only continue in one way.

"My Elena, I love you as well!"

She jumps forward with her arms enveloping his shoulders and a laugh filled to the brim with relief greeting his ears. When after a moment far too short she finally releases him there is a spark of mischief in her grin.

"That's good I suppose, it will make asking for my hand easier I believe then!"

*o0O0o*

Elena's hair for the final time fall free across her shoulders and in slight waves down her back, a crown of blue flowers is accenting her beauty adding a touch of fey playfulness and innocence to her look. A part of him knows he will miss seeing her this way outside in the sunlight, but he smiles secretly at the knowledge that the moonlight within the walls of their home will still illuminate her brown waves in his presence alone.

She answers his smile with an unrestrained of her own, showing genuine happiness as she takes the warrior's sword Finn passes her. It was smelted by his older brother only a moon ago as the gift for his dead wife's sister.

He wishes Elena's own blood could have done this for her, but he feels content at being the man who will create a new family with her.

The blade gleams in the sun and she nervously bites her rosy lip while removing the ring from its hilt. He can see Elena's hands shaking as she reaches for his own and even more as she gives him the sword before she slides the ring on his finger. He knows she gives her oath to him next, but the wording escapes him, too lost he is in her rich brown eyes and the harmonious sound in which her promise is voiced.

Her dark embers assure him with so much more clarity than could ever be spelled in mere words.

Elena possesses no magic he knows, but right then, when their lives become one he does not quite believe this. She has certainly enchanted all his senses, all they feel, all they ever feel it seems, is her alone.

Marriage is not about love of course, not always or even often. But he counts himself blessed as the man who gets both within the arms of the same woman.

And then as these thoughts overwhelm him he gives her his ancestor's sword for the son they will have if the gods are kind, their hands touch clasping the hilt as one when he loosens the oath ring from its place and moves it towards its rightful destination on her hand.

Elena is his wife now. Joy, peace, wonder, relief and love all fight to be felt over each other. His heart has never before been so filled.

Suddenly Elijah know that although he is not a violent man and does not carry his fathers rage he swears that the Gods will need to have mercy on anyone trying to separate him from Elena now, for he certainly will show no such empathy.

*o0O0o*

As he enters his home, his back aching from hours of crouching still, in wait of the animals that would become their meal and his shoulder stinging from the short struggle that followed a deer's appearance, Elijah wishes for nothing more than to take his wife in his arms and express the overpowering energy that always remains after a stressful hunt.

But then he looks up to see her and stops in his steps. Elena is wearing her best dress, - woven by his mother in the stead of her own, - her hair is braided more carefully than he knows she can manage by herself and there is a look in her eyes he has never seen in them before.

It is knowing and sweet. It expresses wonder and a touch of wisdom that her eyes however bold have never before contained to such a degree. His mother has had it. A lot of mothers he's seen have worn it with pride.

She stands silent in front of him, her lips fighting to keep at bay a smile and her hand placed on her belly so lightly he doesn't know if she even feels it through the material covering her skin.

He does not need for her to speak. With a sudden strike of clearness Elijah knows what Elena planned to reveal this night.

And he can see how Elena has come to the same conclusion by the way she runs into his arms, by the release of the laughter that lightens the room. But she comments anyway, as if she needs to say it out loud.

"Elijah, you're going to be a father. We're going to be parents."

He would be a father. There was a life growing in her body, a life they had between them created together, a life who would adore them unconditionally, without reservation.

His son or daughter!

He had thought he knew love before this, he'd been wrong. What he shared with Elena until now had been a spring flower's first bloom, what he would feel for her from this day on is a forest in the middle of summer.

The kiss that follows is both frantic and calm, like an uncontrollable storm nearing from the east. It's as if the winds pick up speed and grow violent, and yet carry in their breath that sense of silence that can not be observed in any other moment nature gifts them with because all other life in the fields and forests around them would stop, waiting between heartbeats for what follows.

Except this is something wonderful. A storm takes life away from the soil beneath a man's feet, right now he has just learned that a new life approaches.

*o0O0o*

Elijah loves his family, more than anything and because of that right now it feels like a part of him has been shredded and torn unrecognizable. It's been only hours since he saw Henrik lying still and pale on the unmerciful ground. The boy who used to follow their father's every move with admiration was suddenly nothing more than a dead carcass, - not unlike the one's of the creatures he's killed himself, - with its blood dripping to the grey sand until its color transformed into the ugly brown he hoped to forget.

And despite his wishes, still all Elijah can hear is the terrible sobs of Rebekah and that one single, raw scream that erupted from his mother's throat as she dropped the basket. All he can remember is the rapidly building rage on his father's face as he stood before them with his back rigid and unmoving. And finally, the guilty eyes of Niklaus, as they begged for forgiveness from anyone bothering to look.

Henrik had looked so small, he who was always bigger than his young age would think to show. Always brave, always smart, always happy and freely willing to get into trouble. And this time tragically, the boy who without fail was always so very fascinated by their neighbors' continuous change into rabid beasts.

His mind is so assaulted by pictures, which will be the source for his nightmares for as long as he'll live, he doesn't at first notice the arrival of another. But then he feels someone sitting down beside him, smells the bare scent of apple cider, lavender and honey sent to him by a slight breeze of wind, and Elijah remembers he isn't alone.

Elena doesn't say anything and he knows that this once her words wouldn't change a thing, nothing could relieve this agony, not even the love of his wife.

But then he is again reminded of how Elena always surprises him when she moves his hand and places a bundle of cloth in his arms. The little form he now cradles moves and he finally opens his clenched eyes, they are instantly captured by the small blue orbs of the babe he holds, he can already see signs of them one day turning dark brown.

In almost every way this young boy is his mother's child.

And so for a fateful minute he lets himself forget after all, allows his mind to only think about the moment he first held his own son. He was so small back then, his skin so pink it almost looked bloody despite the bath Ayanna had just given him. He remembers the sweaty exhausted form of Elena, and the blinding smile she sent him as he placed Godric in the safety of her hold.

And despite the blackness of his brother's death, despite the oncoming war he knows his father is planning, he can't help but smile.

"Thank you!"

He looks away from Godric and towards Elena, notices the red around her eyes and the sadness stark in every smooth line of her face. She had loved Henrik as well, he knows. She had introduced him to their son, she had once tidied a wound caused by a sword he wasn't supposed to touch and so couldn't go to mother about. His youngest brother had even, at a time when he was just as enamored of her beauty as the other boys, brought her flowers. And Elijah knows he can't just surround himself in stone walls, he needs to take care of the family he still has instead of drowning himself in the grief of what is already lost.

So he grabs Elena by her shoulder and carefully brings her into his arms as well, their own child alive and breathing between them. And when he cries she does not silence him, does not take his mind off of the loss, she cries with him.

*o0O0o*

When he wakes on the wooden floor of his childhood home all he feels at first is confusion. There is a mist over his memories, but whatever the haze is hiding is important, it's something frightening. He feels terrified and as if his heart was breaking, but he cannot think why and this makes it even more terrible.

"I'm sorry Elijah!"

He slowly stands dizzily looking around, trying to locate his mother's voice. But he is alone, or he thinks so until noticing another body unconscious on the ground. He drops on his knees in front of his only older sibling.

Finn has blood on his shirt and a hole in the material, but as Elijah moves the clothing away the skin underneath is untouched. He almost sighs in relief, but it's at that moment that he finally remembers who placed them there.

"Drink my son!"

"I'm sorry Elijah! She was the only option."

"Nothing will harm us now."

"I cannot find Elena mother, she said you asked to meet her?"

He remembers the aftertaste of copper in the mead he drank. He remembers as his father drove a sword through his heart. He remembers the sorrowful eyes of his mother as she averted her gaze at his questions and he recalls her exhausted, slightly shaking limbs that he could recognize as overuse of magic.

He wants to wait and make sure his brother is alright, but he knows he needs to find Elena first.

His mother felt the need to apologize and he does not wish to consider why he is sure it had very little to do with his father's killing blow. There is a growing hunger in his stomach, but it is overshadowed by the seeping unrest of the unanswered questions, a building fear of the thought that he has lost Elena… that he will never see her again.

*o0O0o*

When he set out to find his wife he didn't know how he would accomplish this, it was the middle of the night and she could be anywhere in the village or even somewhere lost in the forest. But the moment he had left the room he had laid dead in, not even minutes ago, he had caught her scent.

It was as alluring as always, though even more so now. Where before he could only gather the impression of it, now it was like it encompassed him completely, there were traces of it on his skin from her touch but the wind brought him a more powerful wisp of it.

It was mixed in with ash.

The trace leads him to a clearing, their clearing. A moon shines above him, but the moment he steps out of the tree line his gaze does not waiver from what greets him.

Elena is lying in the middle of a burned out circle as if asleep. Her dress is scorched and dirty, her hair fall messily out of her braid and there is a cut across her upturned wrist extended as an offering to some unknown creature. Her skin is so white it's almost translucent, it's as if there is no blood within Elena to add blush to her face.

She looks dead.

And as he drops on his knees by her side, - a memory of having recently done this very same motion before another body, flashing behind his eyelids - as he takes note of her unmoving chest and her glazed over eyes, - that are now horrible not beautiful - he knows. She is dead.

Some part of him feared this the moment his mother apologized seeking forgiveness, or even before that, when he first started looking for her with growing worry. But to be confronted with it is like hitting the ground after a great fall.

Elena was his life, or at least the very best parts of it. And now she couldn't be because she no longer breathes, no longer bleeds, no longer is.

Someone had brought her here, to the place many of their best moments had transpired in and killed her. If the signs of magic he notices are right, then someone had sacrificed Elena to the spirits his mother prays for. And however much he wishes he could deny this, Elijah knows that the woman who gave him life had been the one to take Elena's away.

And his mother had changed him. He can feel it, this unnatural hunger he has never before experienced, the heightened senses that had allowed him to track Elena to this place of death. And yet the transformation seems incomplete, jagged edges within him are somehow looking to complete themselves, angling for some purpose to the surface seeking out the final piece.

His eyes, of their own accord, leave her pained unseeing gaze and once more travel to her wrist. Blood is smeared across her white skin, dry and empty of the life it should contain. But suddenly, despite his repulsion he wants to bite into it and draw out more.

It's not like she needs it anymore.

Before he can draw back with sickness or give in to this new need, a branch snaps behind him.

He is no longer alone.

"It is not her blood you need Elijah, son of Mikael."

There stands Ayanna, her usually open eyes dark with some unnamed emotion. She who he has always looked on as yet another member of his family, a sister to his mother holds no kindness in her soul for him anymore.

Remembering the turn of his thoughts he knows he can not blame her for this, he loves Elena and yet he had almost stolen the essence from her veins. What kind of demon has he become?

"What happened here?"

Elijah almost snarls this at the witch, but is held back by the new instinct professing the danger of that move. He's afraid he already knows the answer to his inquiry, but he needs to hear it, needs the whole grotesque tale so he can understand. He needs to know.

The witch, - because right now that's all that she is, - laughs at him without humor. There is scorn in her gaze, a look of someone conversing with their enemy.

"A foolish mistake, many will pay for it, you and your family maybe most of all. Your father wanted you invincible, so he got his wish. May he regret it, always!"

It wasn't an answer, but he can tell she isn't done, that before the sun rises she will tell him much more. He decides to direct her to the point quickly.

"But, Elena?"

His voice breaks on her name when he looks at his wife's face and he clenches his eyes closed, a sensation of vertigo overtakes him, but he fights off the disorientation and opens them again, this time looking straight ahead.

"Esther needed a sacrifice. Someone without parents who was a mother, someone with a pure heart and linked to the ones her death would protect. Do you know anyone better suited?"

Sacrificial magic, black arts! Elijah knows the basics around its cost, his mother had warned him and his siblings more than once away from the folly of their use.

"You must always give up something as precious to yourself as what you wish to gain," she would say. This time Esther has given up her son to gain protection for her children.

For he does not think he could ever forgive this.

There is really only one more thing to know, the most important one.

"Can you bring her back?"

He silently begs for whoever is listening for this one miracle. He is willing to give up his own life to bring hers back.

"No!" Elijah does not flinch under her denial however. Ayanna's eyes hold something back from him, before she continues he can see a dark smile slowly rising to the surface. "But you can… if I give you the means."

"What do you want?"

Instead of answering she seems to change the conversation entirely.

"Niklaus is not your brother you know. He is the seed of a savage… and as your mother knows, nature can not permit indestructibility, so as she changed you and your family she bound the part of him that was the Moon's as well."

Despite the influx of new questions he keeps silent, listening. He can not afford to interrupt the witch now, he can contemplate Niklaus's heritage at a time his Elena's life does not hang in balance.

"The curse she placed on him is vulnerable. There is a weakness she thinks she has avoided, but her bastard's future heads towards an abomination even more destructive than the one she created in you. I want a promise from you, Elijah! I want your word you will do everything in your power to stop Niklaus from breaking his curse."

"And you will tell me how to bring Elena back to me?"

"I will give you the means so you can find the solution yourself... eventually."

Frustrated Elijah almost refuses her offer, but common sense tells him to hold his tongue.

She is corralling him towards a trap like a masterful spider, he can see it, but she also isn't lying.

"Fine, I give you my word my brother will not break Esther's curse, now tell me how to get Elena back."

Triumph colors her face. As does relief, he swallows at noticing this other emotion, Ayanna had been afraid he would refuse her.

What could his brother possibly be heading for to frighten her so?

"I will preserve her body as it is now, her soul has not yet left this world so I shall tether it to the shell and it will sleep for however long it takes for you to find your answer."

"Do it then!"

"Yes, but first we must make sure you live long enough to keep your end of this bargain."

And before Elijah can say anything else Ayanna pulls out a blade and cuts a red line across her palm.

For the next minute all that matters to him is just one more gulp of Valhalla.

*o0O0o*
//next chapter//
*o0O0o*

A/N2: So I think I'm happy with this. I wasn't easy writing Elena in a way that kept her in character, but placed her a thousand years before her time with a different if similar background. Just so you know the next chapter is in my mind, but not yet on paper.

All I'm telling you is that although Elena is definitely dead for almost the entire following story, there will be more Elejah, because our favorite Original will lose himself in memories once in a while.

And by the way I have to thank 'standinginthewayofcontroll' from the tumblr community for the name of Elijah and Elena's son.

What did you think? Do review so I know, receiving them is like eating ice-cream without the unfortunate weight gain.

Poem: Madness of a High Priestess (1/1)

2012-08-01T06:49:48Z

Title: Madness of a High Priestess
Rating: K
Author: terapsina
Fandom: Merlin
Pairing: Merlin/Morgana, hints at Arthur/Gwen
Word Count: 397
Parts: 1/1
Summary: A little poem about Morgana and what she has become.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

O0o*o0O

Laying on earth under Her starlit heaven

Stood a lady wearing High Priestesses gown

Locks of black flowed down her lithe form

Morgana's cool gaze now as empty as foam.

In lyrical voice ancient whispers left lips,

Extinguished beauty with terrible meanings.

Her soul was once pure, and righteous, and just

But her soul mate's mistake filled it with ice,

So on this harsh night she sold all the rest.

High Priestesses power grew, her own love its price

No more would she smile, or cry, or grieve

Only hate will be left, vengeance and rage.

No gold will be seen in her eyes evermore

Only bloody red glare will fall upon life.

Eyes glazed over, while mind flew forward

It saw happiness there with no hint of her presence.

Saw a kind king, the warlock at his back

Queen by his side, laughing children around.

The peace in that land would last centuries long

Pendragons would rule over the land of Albion.

But Morgana knew how to change future she saw,

A curse must be cast on the queens wedding night.

In her former friend's heart a need would arise

Gwen's blood would call out to a knight, by name Lance.

Their minds would be clouded, urges released

King's heart will shatter, queen burns at the pyre.

Once and Never kingdom turns bloody, war filled

From peaceful to ravaged the world shall change.

Disease and hunger will travel Her fields

Magic will burn still, through all of king's land.

Desperate druids will swear loyalty oaths

Morgana and Mordred will bring fear to all hearts

No one spared in her quest for vengeance.

And while the witch planned the end of hope

The Goddess spilled tears for her daughter's madness

Her lands might turn red, and magic might end

But Merlin shall live and so will her teachings.

For all seers suffer that one final flaw

None can see the end of their own lifeline.

Rubies might yet gaze in triumph at future newly cast

But Goddess still knows and predicts it all.

O0o*o0O

So what do you think, poetry was never my strong point but I kind of like this one. Please no flames, constructive criticism and all other reviews are accepted.

What Finally Broke My Heart (1/1)

2012-07-31T07:17:06Z

Title: What Finally Broke My Heart
Rating: K
Author: terapsina
Fandom: Merlin
Pairing: Merlin/Morgana
Word Count: 427
Parts: 1/1
Summary: Morgana's thoughts on the event that forged her into what she became. Mergana drabble.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

*o0O0o*

What finally broke my heart wasn't the simple, but telling things that spoke so very loudly over the gestures themselves. It wasn't the way he avoided connecting our gazes when I - for the very first time, - admitted out loud that I had magic, nor was it how he began to escape my presence more often than not in those months before sleep overtook Camelot. It had very little to do with the lingering sense that he had fallen in love with some other girl or even the fact he never spoke of it despite our friendship. It cracked, but did not shatter even as he plead for forgiveness as I panted helplessly in his arms from the poison I drank by his will.

What finally broke that that carefully guarded thing in my chest was a dream not a month later.

This dream did not carry me visions of the future I so feared, it brought me along to a day in my past. I watched my own frantic efforts to light a fire with the mundane method of flint and piece of steel, I looked on as I failed.

Then he showed up beside me, taking them from my shaking hands and the face of my past became distracted by something that had caught her attention further away. So now I was the only one seeing it as the gangly young man with the bright eyes and adorable ears took time to look at the other version of me for but a second, placed his empty palm over the spilled oil and mouthed something neither I nor anyone else could hear.

The resulting fire went unnoticed as all that I could focus on were the golden glint his eyes acquired.

The scream that erupted across the woods I was - together with Morgause, - hiding in was the most horrible sound I could remember ever hearing. Only the furthest corners of my dazed mind realized it was coming from me.

He had magic. He who stood by in silence, letting me feel like the only magical being behind the walls of prison Camelot had become... was a sorcerer. Merlin had already betrayed me, had already lied, but now he finally broke my heart.

It was the night I would later recall as the last where tears fell from my eyes for him or anyone else.

This was the night that forged Morgana Le Fay.

Heal Her Broken Wings (2/2)

2012-05-07T17:12:13Z

Title: Heal Her Broken Wings
Rating: T (+) or M (-)
Author: terapsina
Fandom: The Vampire Diaries
Pairing: Elijah/Elena
Word Count: 5'989
Parts: 2/2
Warnings: There is kinda' sexual non-explicit content. Warning about that… well I don't think I wrote it all that good, because this is my first attempt and you know - 'baby steps'.
Summary: AU after "All My Children". Elijah has been gone for a while when Elena suddenly turns up on his doorstep as a vampire. She needs him to help her come to grips with that and he needs to keep silent his feelings for her while he does so. Elejah.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Part 1

* Heal Her Broken Wings *

He had the most fascinating eyes. She thought so even when he first flashed before her looking at her in such a shocked surprise and she was still so terrified of him.

They were sad and calculating, old but peaceful. And the slightest bit kind. And there was an extra of something familiar, something she saw when she looked in a mirror. It's why she knew she could trust him even as she didn't understand the reason why.

And now she couldn't look within them without a smile, even a slight one.

* x *

They were outside walking in silence when he finally understood something that had escaped him all his life, both the one spent as a vampire and the one before.

There was a distinction between love and true love. It couldn't be put into words or even thoughts, both of them were real and precious, both of them could be eternal if one was lucky enough. But there was a difference none the less and unless you had experienced true love, you couldn't ever see exactly what it was that was missing before.

Katerina was wrong, true love didn't have to be returned to be true, just like a love that was mutual wasn't necessarily one either. Life was far too complicated for easy answers and clear messages, life wasn't black and white and it wasn't just gray either. Life couldn't be put in colors or words at all.

But between one step and the next he captured that moment where he was struck with the realization of exactly how much he cared for the woman beside him. Elena was someone he hadn't planned to care for let alone love, but he did love her. She embodied far too much good to be dismissed and her humanity was still as bright as ever even now. He would do everything in his considerable power to make her see it as well. He would even let her go once this reprieve was over and she went back to the small town she was born in, back to the two men waiting for her there. He wouldn't interfere when she finally made the choice that had been coming the entire time he had known her.

Elijah would let her break his heart and he wouldn't burden her with the knowledge of having done so, there was far too much sorrow and guilt within her already.

But right now in this moment he would take anything she was willing to give, so as he reached over taking the palm of her hand within his and she smiled at him he solidified the image of her expressive eyes, her slightly out of place hair being blown by the wind into her face and the warmth radiating through her whole body into his mind.

He would lose a lot once the inevitable took place, but at least he would know that for a little while her friendship was his. And that was something he might not have to say goodbye to.

* x *

Blood! Blood, blood, blood!

So warm, so sweet, so hungry. No stop, let go, more!

'Oh god! Oh god! Oh god! Oh god! Oh god! Oh god! Oh god! Oh god! Oh god!'

* x *

It wasn't that Elijah never left Elena's side, he did of course he did after all smothering wasn't part of the healing process and if she never left his sight it would feel like a prison to her. But he made sure not to leave too far, so he could always tell if she was in distress, could hear her if she called for him.

But almost a month had passed and he could see Elena settling in. The nights had somewhat calmed, Elena was smiling more every day, she didn't look like an injured animal every time he placed blood in front of her anymore either so when he heard that there was strife getting dangerously out of line four towns over between two vampires who seemed to have lost the sight of subtlety where human victims were concerned he actually prepared to leave. He would be back before nightfall.

He had barely traveled two blocks when the part of him still attuned to the place he was leaving heard it. The bell at his front door was ringing so he slowed the car to pay more attention.

"Oh hey, did you forget someth… erm hello?"

"Good morning, I noticed Mr. Smith had a guest so I thought I'd come to introduce myself."

He almost imperceptibly calmed, it was Mrs. Carson their very nosy, but completely harmless neighbor. And then he caught a whiff of something behind the exhaust fumes of his car, behind the scent of grass and infinite number of chemicals from every house. The antiseptic was doing nothing to mask the unmistakable odor from someone like him… or Elena. Blood.

"Oh, don't worry, it's barely a cut. I really must be more careful with…"

He had abandoned the car in the middle of the road and was running before the pause lasted even for a few seconds. And still he was almost too late.

A short moment later when he reached their porch – at the back of his mind noting that this new use of 'our' was worrying – Elena had already sunk her teeth into the woman's neck.

He pulled her back ignoring the little growl leaving her throat in protest of losing a meal. But the damage was done, he could see it when Elena ripped herself out of his arms and turned around, the savage hunger was quickly turning into revulsion and horror. Her eyes widened, her chest heaved, she looked towards the bleeding woman with dawning horror and finally she collapsed in front of him hitting the ground hard.

And yet he stayed outwardly calm when Mrs. Carson opened her mouth to scream, not letting himself be distracted by his own feelings. He clamped his hand over her mouth, smothering the impending sound and looked into her terrified eyes.

"You won't remember this."

When the neighbors eyes glazed over he removed his hand.

"I won't remember this."

"You went over to introduce yourself to Mr. Smith's guest, you were invited in, you had a nice chat, but the girl wasn't as interesting as you suspected. You left, because you felt a fever coming on, you will spend the next two days in your house with a virus. You understand?"

"I understand."

He stepped back and quickly bit into his wrist. He didn't like to give out blood to heal wounds that would close anyway, but this was for Elena and she didn't need to ever see this woman with a scar she caused. So he placed his bleeding wrist at the woman's mouth and watched as the bite marks closed.

Once he saw the woman leaving Elijah finally allowed himself the freedom to glance at the shattered form of the girl he couldn't help but love. She was in shock, her arms around her knees and her body rocking back and forth. She wasn't crying, but this time it was a bad sign, it meant she wasn't ready to face what had happened. Or the worst part – what had almost happened.

He closed his eyes, silently thanking whatever gods available for the fact he hadn't left the house even five minutes earlier. And then he knelt in front of Elena, taking her in his arms and picking her up to bring her inside their house.

* x *

"Please leave! Please! I can't, I almost… oh god!"

She'd almost killed her. She would have, if Elijah hadn't stopped her. She had wanted to.

She didn't wish to think. She needed to stop thinking. He was sleeping still dressed only a short walk away, a thought was borne and the rest of her mind thankfully blanked. She knew of a way to stop thinking.

* x *

The first thing he was aware of was her scent. It was so close, as if she was right in front of him surrounding him in her wonderful fragrance. His brow furrowed in confusion, she wasn't supposed to be in his room he had carried her to her own once he brought her inside.

He knew he had left when she asked him to, when she needed to be alone. He had fallen asleep still clothed in one of his suits worrying.

And then he lost the train of his thought entirely when he felt her touch. Her hand was sliding down his chest, opening the buttons of his shirt, slipping those same palms underneath the expensive cotton material to slide them against his bare skin. And the touch was like flames, licking his bared chest arousing him from slumber in all senses of the word. He almost hissed, but was struck speechless when opening his eyes.

Elena was on top of him. Straddling his hips, starting to move hers in a slow, purposeful rhythm designed to drive any man insane. She was driving his emotionless guise further back than ever before.

And it would have been a dream come true if he couldn't smell the salty streaks of tears and feel her shaking shoulders, if he couldn't hear her terrible sobs and see her sorrowful expression. She was pale, she was breathing heavily and even though she was looking at him he could tell that she wasn't really seeing him.

This wasn't about him. It wasn't about her caring about him or simply being attracted to him. This was about pain, about guilt and the need to drown it in pleasure by any means available. He was present so he would do and nothing had ever wounded him quite so much in quite this way.

But this was Elena. The woman he admired more than any other, the only person to have such a hold on his heart and she wasn't drunk or compelled. She was entirely under her own will.

And for a moment he gave in, letting her kiss his neck, wrapping his arms around her back and shoulders to draw her closer. If this was the only way he could have her, then he considered allowing it.

He gasped erratically to gain air, for somehow never before had he needed it more urgently. She was so warm in his arms and her lips were softer than a swan's feather as they traveled across his jaw with an agonizing slowness.

But she'd regret this in the morning. She would feel embarrassed and hurt. Nothing would have changed for the better as was supposed to from an act such as the one she was offering. It would only ruin them, she wouldn't be able to look him in the eye and maybe she'd even leave.

His blood sung as it rushed through his veins, seeking out something not even a hair's width away and yet unattainable. He groaned at his inner struggle, at her suddenly increasingly desperate movements.

He didn't want her to leave yet. And even if those weren't factors, there was also the deep seeded knowledge that if he let her take the easy way out right now she would always in the future be more tempted to do so again. Tempted to give in to the bloodlust a bit more, tempted to drown misery in a body again, tempted to turn off all that made her Elena.

But her hands were opening his shirt almost ready to rid him of the unwanted constraint. Her shoulders were almost bare, the left lace of her silk bra fallen aside and the top he knew should be covering her chest lost at some point since he woke.

He couldn't let her become a monster, couldn't let her spend the next few hundred years emotionless and then being slowly awakened to the pain of knowing what she had done when that not entirely there switch stopped working. So for a moment longer he savored the impossible and then firmly pushed her back.

"No. Elena, stop!"

She looked as if he'd slapped her. The hurt encompassing her whole face at the rejection, if she wasn't so vulnerable right now it might have given him hope. But the truth was, even this wasn't really about him.

He held on stronger seeing her getting ready to flee his room. He was suddenly certain if she left his presence just at this moment in time he would never see her again. He needed to make her understand his actions.

"Wait. Elena, you're hurt… hmmm…. hurt you almost killed a human and you want it to go away for a… for a little while. I understand why you want this right now, but if you do this… if… if we do this it will be harder when the sun comes up, it will be unbearable once it sets after that."

She still looked torn, but she was listening, reason and coherent thought beyond mere one word sentences returning to her face. But the lost look he had observed for a month now was still present and he knew he needed to lessen it, even if the necessary small admission would cost him.

"You're beautiful Elena, inside and out. And I'd… like nothing more than to continue, but it wouldn't be the right move on either of our parts. I'd be taking advantage of you, you understand?"

Slowly she nodded, but he could see she wasn't fully willing to accept his reasoning either yet by the walls he saw she was building up to protect herself. Specially designed to keep him out, she had never wanted to keep him out before, at least not in the way she seemed to now.

It gave him and idea. Something that would assure her and give him a moment he could treasure once she was gone.

"You don't have to leave Elena. Lets sleep, you do not need to be alone right now."

Neither did he. He had almost lost her in more ways than one this day and he needed her close to him, just as much as Elena needed someone to be close to her. To know this was another nick across his heart.

He pulled her closer, turning on his side and placing his hand on her head, running it over her disheveled hair to soothe her. For a moment she was still ready to spring up and flee, but then she relaxed and clutched herself even closer to him starting to whisper between the tears.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

He wasn't sure if she was apologizing for almost killing or… for what she had almost set in motion with her actions afterwards. He had no wish to hear her clarify it. And it didn't matter. What mattered was her.

"It's not your fault."

He knew she didn't believe it, but she had to hear it anyway and he would repeat it for however long it took for her to accept.

And for the next half an hour he did exactly that. Every time the apology escaped her he told her it would be alright, that she wasn't responsible, that the woman she had drunk from would be fine.

When she was finally calm and he even thought her to be asleep she proved him wrong with a question he hadn't thought he'd ever hear from her. He really should have expected it, of course the Salvatore's had retold what he had revealed at Klaus's insistence.

"Tell me about Tatia!"

He blinked. Tatia was his past, she was complicated and he had no idea how to put into words the girl that now brought out so much regret for so many different reasons. And she was still nothing compared to Elena, but how to say that without revealing his new love for the descendant of that same girl?

"What do you wish to know?"

She looked up at him, her eyes reddened and her face blotchy and tired. She was still a sight Gods would envy.

"What was she like? Did you love her? Did she love you? Did she love Klaus? Did she love her son? Tell me everything."

Everything. Everything was too much, everything was Elena, but he could paint her a neat enough picture of the Petrova that so very long ago was the start of it all.

"She was a good person, strong too… albeit broken. And she did care for me and Niklaus, but she didn't truly love either one of us it's why she could never choose between him and me, she missed her husband far too much."

"What happened to him?"

"He had died, drowned in the spring floods not long after their wedding. She was fifteen summers old at the time and carrying her child. Her son was the light of her hard life from the moment he took his first breath."

"And you were in love with her."

And for a moment he was brought back to that young man he had almost forgotten. So struck by her presence, certain and sure in everything else, but stuttering in front of Tatia. It was a long time ago, he had changed so much since then, but a part of him still understood that young man, perhaps better than he understood himself all those centuries ago.

"Yes… and no. I was enamored with her and I thought I would love her forever, but I didn't know what true love was at the time." He didn't say that he only found out recently. Didn't mention the fact it was her who opened his eyes to the exact meaning of that word. "She was the most beautiful girl in town and the saddest. She broke many hearts mine included, but she wasn't a cruel girl, there was a kindness in her and I think it was maybe not entirely right for the harsh lives we led in those times. It's certainly another reason although not the main one for why Esther chose her to be the sacrifice for her spell, - I believe she thought Tatia wouldn't have lasted much longer within the town of wolves either way."

"Am I like her?"

He looked past her. Elijah remembered her simmering courage when she threw vervain in his face, so defiant even afraid. He remembered her sharp gaze and too wise smile when they struck their very first deal. Remembered her as she fooled him and drove a dagger through his heart, she was the first human to ever have done so and there had been attempts before, vampire hunters that had failed more than once. Remembered her as those compassionate eyes connected with his and she asked if he had cared for Katerina, that quiet understanding that had almost stolen his breath. Finally he remembered the courage and the kindness, the sadness and the forgiveness, the fighting spirit and her all powerful love for her friends and family.

She was the best of what he wished he could achieve in himself and so much more of the things he had once regarded as disposable.

He didn't doubt his answer for even a moment, no other words he had ever spoken had been so true.

"No Elena, you are the most unique person I have ever met."

He didn't see her smile once she turned her head, her head resting against his chest. But he knew the smile was there, could feel her face pull into that infinitely precious expression of content.

* x *

She wanted someone who could see past her face. To her, all of her, the broken parts of her as well as the good ones.

And maybe she knew of someone who saw them, he had been faced with them for a while now.

She didn't love him, but…

* x *

Her footsteps beside him were almost silent. The material of her sky blue blouse was making the most insignificant whisper of a noise as it rubbed from her movement. The speed of her heart was slow but not entirely steady. There were three inches separating them and Elijah could feel each and every one of them.

It almost felt as if they had gone back in time to when they carefully danced around each other always a perfectly polite distance apart even as they somehow remained far too close.

The tension since the night a week ago hadn't waned. Actually - as he noticed her sharp breath when she needed to step closer to let past an approaching passerby, – it had only grown.

He hadn't forgotten anything from the moment he'd been woken by her. The feel of her body against his, the heat of her lips on his neck and every sensation and thought it inspired.

If he had thought that keeping away from Elena before was hard then the same task now was infinitely more torturous.

He was suddenly so aware of her mere presence, that he was certain if she traveled halfway across the world he would still know in which direction to turn his head and exactly by how many degrees to look directly towards her. If it were possible to have a compass within his heart Elena would be his magnetic south pole.

They were almost back to the house when he finally paid enough attention to the rest of the world to notice something he should have heard long before. There were two new heartbeats within the walls of his home.

His shoulders tensed and something in him clenched painfully. It wasn't Klaus and Rebekah, he had traveled with them for five hundred years and would recognize their particular signatures in seconds. He knew of only a few likely possibilities for the identities of two vampires who were bold and stupid enough to break into an Original's house. There was only one pair with the motivation to do so currently.

The motivation was walking oblivious beside him.

In less then a minute they would open the doors, enter the living room and be greeted by the most probably glaring faces of their unexpected guests. In less then a day he might have to put that magnet theory to the test.

Meanwhile he had choices. He could say he'd forgotten something and turn around to leave gaining some more time, but he didn't want to lie to her. He could enter with the speed of his thousand years of the curse Esther created and kill them before she had time to move, but that would shatter Elena's spirit and heart. He could lean in to kiss her, so he could always remember the feel of her lips against his, but that would be a stolen moment without any meaning. He could do nothing and let her be surprised.

But none of those options were honorable and after what he had done to her, she deserved for him to be the gentleman she seemed to view him as.

Elijah looked up. She was staring at him with a worried frown, obviously confused by his sudden change in posture.

"What's the matter?"

"We have guests. My guess would be the Salvatores."

Her eyes widened and her heart was suddenly thundering in her chest. Now she looked anxious and uncertain, like a young girl confronted with something she wasn't entirely ready for.

Elijah didn't gain any satisfaction from her reaction, it was exactly what he'd expected of Elena when with his vocal cords straining to sound normal he uttered the words he had dreaded for so long now. The nervous energy didn't mean she wouldn't fall back in their arms, it could just mean she didn't know how to go about it.

"Oh!"

He remained standing, his gaze looking past her fighting the urge to connect with hers. She had beautiful eyes, soft and expressive and chocolate brown. But this once he had no wish to look into them and see all the love they contained while clearly knowing he hadn't put it there, had absolutely no desire to once again be faced with her familiar indecision of truly knowing who her heart belonged to.

He swallowed back the stinging sensation and gestured towards the front door.

"Shall we?"

She breathed in, squared her shoulders and nodded. Elijah imprisoned the desperate possessive need so common in all supernatural creatures so that he wouldn't just grab her in his hands and run.

He entered a step behind her and when the two brothers - so like him and Klaus in their tragic fight for the same love - turned towards them with their grave slightly angry faces he was struck by how much this scene resembled the one where he had come for his well deserved apology. This time he wanted something much more valuable, but didn't even consider asking for it. Elena Gilbert wasn't an object, he had no right to her and sometimes he wondered if the Salvatores knew that neither did she belong to them. But their constant struggle for the right to finally claim her negated their seeming conviction that they could truly let her go if she ever did choose.

"Elena!"

The word came out of the eldest sibling like a prayer. He tried to keep his attention to just Damon and Stefan, but he felt as Elena trembled in front of him and could almost feel his face flinch. He needed room, specifically any other room.

"I will leave you to talk then. Elena, you know where to find me if I'm needed."

He was almost out of the room when Elena's voice stopped him.

"Thank you!"

His back was to her now, so he let his eyes close at the melancholy feeling and to ward off the enclosing walls. For a moment he stood as if struck, and then after inclining his head closed the door behind him, the doorknob bent in his palm.

He knew he should leave the house entirely, but a part of him needed to hear what was said and he wasn't completely at ease with leaving Elena alone with the man that had turned her or the one who looked to have done nothing to stop it anyway. He hadn't been in town to protect her when she needed it most, but he wouldn't leave her now - at least not until she asked him to.

"What are you doing here Elena? I thought we wouldn't have to stop you from making mistakes with the Originals anymore. Elijah can't be trusted! Have you learned nothing?"

"Why are you here?"

She was ignoring his question, moving straight to the point. He had to admire her refusal to be made to feel guilty.

"What do you think? We're here to bring you home."

He'd seen that coming. And yet he obviously hadn't prepared himself for it, because his legs gave out for the first time in a thousand years and he could do nothing but slump in his chair. She was leaving. The only physical proof he would now have left of Elena would be the dizzying scent that had ingrained itself in every crevice of his every room. And then one day that would fade as well.

"No!"

Elijah's brows furrowed. He couldn't possibly have heard that right. The almost growl from the living room said otherwise, it also made him straighten up ready to sprint back to them in case any direct threat of aggression was shown.

"Excuse me?"

"Damon, calm down, anger won't help us now. Elena, we miss you, your friends miss you and Jeremy is worried sick about you."

"I'm fine. I left a note, you shouldn't have been searching."

The scornful snort left no doubt in Elijah's mind as to its source.

"Please. She's just still angry I had to turn her."

"Damon, stop helping!"

"Shut up Stefan! Elena you had you're fun, did your part in continuing the tradition of monthly bad decisions we all have going, but I think you know it's time to stop seething and deal with this problem. I'm sorry alright, I'm sorry Rebekah put you in danger to get back at Klaus, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the blood. I'm sorry you died. And no matter how much you hate me right now I'm not sorry you came back."

"You want me to forgive you again right?"

There was a momentary silence in the other room, Elijah had no doubt that was some part of the impulsive man's ultimate goal. For that at least he couldn't blame Damon the least little bit, he had desired Elena's forgiveness more than once himself. He knew the absolving power the granting of it possessed.

"I can't. At least not now."

Silence again, more strained this time. He almost wished he could see through walls.

"Elena? What's stopping you from coming back? Whatever it is you know we will help."

"Nothings stopping me, but I do need to tell you something I suppose. To both of you, actually. I loved you Stefan. I did and in a lot of ways I always will, but I'm not in love with you. That stopped on the day you were willing to drown me on Wickery Bridge… no stop I know you weren't ever going to. But what hurt wasn't that you threatened to kill me, it's that you did it there."

"If you… if Damon makes you h…"

"Stop! This has nothing to do with Damon."

"Then why?"

"I… I admit that I fell for Damon, but… but even though it should mean everything it doesn't. I don't love h… I don't love you Damon. Not really, not the way you want me to at least, because I can't see myself staying with you forever. I could see a relationship that might last a month or a year, but eventually I'd leave. I'd regret allowing myself that year, I'd hurt you and even more importantly I'd hurt your bond with Stefan. He's your brother, you'd feel guilty, I'd feel guilty and even after we'd break up you would still have lost him. You made me have forever, but I can't see a forever with you. I never could, it's why I didn't want you to try so hard to win me."

"And what… you'll have it all with Elijah? The one who has betrayed us over and over? Really?"

He stilled entirely. His entire focus shifting towards her, he could no longer hear either Salvatore. She was breathing, her lungs drawing in even amounts of oxygen, her heart only the least little bit too fast, showing the stress, but no readying of a lie. Whatever left Elena's lips now, would be the truth.

"No!" A hope he hadn't been aware of harboring shattered, much else there within him along with it. He really hadn't been ready for the meaning of this word after all. Nothing could have prepared him for what encompassed him now. He felt like a statue, he had cultivated that image since he killed his first man as a monster - and not as a fighter for survival - and yet only now could he really think of himself as if made of stone. A stone with hairline fractures stretching across the surface and into the very core. He could hardly hear at all, his hearing suddenly almost humanly weak. It almost made him miss her next words. "But I will eventually."

* x *

'I don't love him, but I will.'

* x *

As she entered the library half an hour later he looked up at her with an undisguised wonderment. He hadn't moved from the chair since the moment when within a matter of seconds his heart had been broken and then repaired.

The Salvatore's had gone rather reluctantly, but seemed to have been as struck as him after Elena's last words so were persuaded. He had no doubt they would return once they dealt with what they learned, reinforcements would be brought along no doubt. But this time it wouldn't matter, because if Elena decided to stay no one would be able to take her.

He had known her to be beautiful before, but somehow knowing his attachment to her wasn't entirely one sided was making all her previous entrances pale by comparison.

Her brown hair shined from the artificial lighting, her wide eyes danced with a flame he had been blind to before. Even her face suddenly transformed, Elijah hadn't thought of her as the Doppelganger in a long time, but currently he couldn't find the previous Petrova girls in even her features. If it was possible to fall in love with Elena Gilbert more deeply than he had been already then somehow she had managed to inspire him to do it with but one sentence.

He wouldn't be able to avert his gaze now even if he wanted to. Her words were still echoing across his mind.

"You were listening."

Her tone was serious, but there was light teasing hiding underneath the surface of that. Something had changed in Elena in the last hour, she had been relaxed before the brother's appearance already and yet now it seemed she only needed to imagine it and she would fly up into the sky with or without wings.

"Yes."

He didn't bother denying it, he had no doubt he couldn't have hidden this anyway. He was after all an Original and right then he was certain even someone who had never met him could read him without effort. And Elena had always known him a lot better than that.

"Good."

"Elena? I…"

"Wait. Let me talk first. When I came here I thought it was so that you would help me not to become the way Katherine and Klaus is and Stefan and Damon used to be. But you did far more than that, you healed me, you gave me a future that I had stopped believing since the moment my parents died. And it might not be the one I wanted, but it will be a good one."

"I lo…"

He tried again, he didn't need to fear those words now, - they could no longer hurt Elena - but once more he was cut in mid sentence.

"Let me finish. I don't know what I feel for you yet, not completely. But being with you is… its home. I'm ready to go back to Mystic Falls, I miss my friends and my brother, but I need you to come with me. Please?"

"Can I talk now?"

He smirked at the bashful smile she sent him. And then her eyes narrowed before she quickly smacked his shoulder none too gently in admonishment. He responded by taking her lovely face in his hands, running his thumbs over her cheekbones and as her eyes fluttered closed he didn't counter his impulse to lean forward and kiss her eyelids. They trembled under the feather light touch and she once more reminded him of a butterfly, its wings though couldn't possibly have tasted as sweet when touched.

"I love you Elena, I'll go anywhere you want to be. If it's Mystic Falls, then that's where we'll be headed as soon as you're ready to. Always and forever remember?"

And before she could respond he finally reached for the place he had dreamed of on countless nights, for the spot he hadn't had the opportunity to indulge in before now. His lips met hers in their first kiss, it wasn't painfully passionate or overly gentle, but it was a kiss he knew he would never forget, it confirmed his promise of eternity. Or for however long earth allowed him to live.

Her heart jumped and then skipped a beat. It had nothing to do with lies this time.

* The End *

A/N 2: So? Thoughts? Complaints? Compliments? I'll take them all.

Heal Her Broken Wings (1/2)

2012-05-07T17:04:28Z

Title: Heal Her Broken Wings
Rating: T (+) or M (-)
Author: terapsina
Fandom: The Vampire Diaries
Pairing: Elijah/Elena
Word Count: 6'181
Parts: 1/2
Warnings: There is kinda' sexual non-explicit content. Warning about that… well I don't think I wrote it all that good, because this is my first attempt and you know - 'baby steps'.
Summary: AU after "All My Children". Elijah has been gone for a while when Elena suddenly turns up on his doorstep as a vampire. She needs him to help her come to grips with that and he needs to keep silent his feelings for her while he does so. Elejah.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

* Heal Her Broken Wings *

* x *

'Breathe. Just breathe. In and out, I can do it. Just breathe.'

She did. Oxygen was inhaled and exhaled. But she still couldn't feel it the way she should. Her chest moved, but it couldn't… it wouldn't relax. It felt as if her insides were skinning themselves raw. And she was hungry, so very hungry.

'Please just breathe. Just a minute longer, he'll help, he always does.'

* x *

There was a knock at his door and even before he opened it the sudden dread filled his awareness. There was a vampire waiting on the other side, - he could hear the heartbeat that was always barely out of sync with what a normal one would be, - but no one was supposed to know where he had settled.

Elijah had been off the radar of everyone for almost six months now and although he hadn't been exactly hiding having an unannounced guest was still somewhat worrying.

None of these troubling thoughts showed on his face when he opened his door however. After all being alive for a millennium had at least gifted him with the ultimate poker face, but once he saw the person on the other side he and his expression froze.

The dark eyes, the brown hair, the olive skin… the face of the ghost that had been haunting him for all his life.

And for a single fraction of a second he was sure it was Katerina, but then he truly looked at her and noticed the little tells so easily perceptible to him and instantly knew he was wrong, more than ever he wished he wasn't because this was so much more horrifying. But this Petrova was hyperventilating, fidgeting with her hands, this Petrova was carrying a world of weight in her gaze and ultimately this Petrova was looking at him with the sort of trust he had only ever seen on one face. This Petrova was a Gilbert first.

The girl he couldn't face was standing on the doorstep of his house and her heart was revealing the loss of her human life.

"Elena?"

Her hair fell messily out of her loose braid, her clothes were rumpled and her eyes screamed desperation he never wished to see in them. Elijah remembered her as one of the strongest people he had ever met, more moral, more honorable than even him and infinitely more compassionate than anyone else. But the young woman standing before him with bags by her feet and tears in her eyes was broken.

"I… I didn't know who else to go to."

He could cover his true feelings then, could imprison them behind a practiced façade of cool detachment so easily, but at this moment Elena deserved to see how her condition affected him so for once he let the agony free reign. He never wanted this for her. Her humanity was such a part of her character he had known turning her would be akin to ripping the wings off a butterfly. It was a cruelty even he would never stoop to and yet someone had.

One moment they stood there, three feet of air between them and the next she was in his arms crying, clutching him to her and releasing the sobs of a tortured spirit. He wanted to ask her what had happened, wanted to know who had killed her and to make that someone pay for this sin, to storm back to Mystic Falls and let loose his fury onto the brothers that were supposed to protect her, to ask how she'd found him. Instead he just stood, with his arms around her and his hand cradling her head closer to him as if trying to protect her from something that had already harmed her irreparably. All he could do to comfort her now was this soothing silence, his own presence and time so she might release with salty teardrops the bleeding of her heart and soul.

He had left her so he wouldn't be another man driving her towards edge with unwanted affection as well as to get back his sense of conscience and now for the first time he regretted it, because if he had been there at least she'd still be alive. If he'd been there she wouldn't have to fight her own body to stop herself from becoming the monster he finally admitted he was.

* x *

She was exhausted. Physically, mentally, emotionally weary. Being dead would be easier.

'Keep you eyes closed, if you don't open them you'll do fine. Your mom's downstairs making coffee. Dad's reading the morning paper aloud. Jeremy's in the other room indulging his horrible taste in music. Jenna's alive, partying on the other side of this sunny state. Vampires don't exist and you're not one of them.'

Someone ran their fingertips over paper, flipping the page. Another heartbeat in the room was craftily hiding behind hers. Familiar, comforting scent she didn't think she recognized until she did. Sandalwood, old books and something else entirely as well, something that had no name, but the closest possible approximation was earthy. He was here. Vampires were real. She was one of them.

She wanted to cry. She was too exhausted to even make an attempt.

* x *

It was a cloudy and slightly chilly morning outside, but the weather couldn't be further from Elijah's thoughts and he barely noticed it at all. Instead he was sitting in a chair by his bed pretending to read a book and waiting for Elena to wake up.

She had been completely drained after she stopped swimming in her own tears, barely able to move let alone speak so he guided her to his room, helped her remove her shoes and covered her with a blanket before taking his position of vigil by her side.

"The book's any good?"

Her voice was scratchy and raw, the lyrical quality usually present completely absent. He looked at the cover of his book, for the first time in slight embarrassment noticing that he was holding a dictionary and carefully put it down out of her sight.

"Yes, it's very… informative."

Her lips twitched and he knew she had read something in his tone or face that told her he was being careful with words again. It eased something in him, if she could smile even a little maybe not all of her was lost to this latest tragedy yet.

And then they just looked at each other. He was taking in her worn out eyes, memorizing the new rhythm of her heartbeat, trying to understand exactly what was it that kept pulling his every other thought towards her. Whatever it was it wasn't the face, never before had he been in such tune with a woman's every gesture, - every emotion behind a gesture, - it wasn't there with Katerina and not even Tatia had made him feel like this.

Sometimes it seemed she was the center of his universe and however much Elijah tried to distance himself he would always be pulled back to her side. He hadn't expected for her to be the one finding him though, then again Elena never failed to surprise and astonish him.

Suddenly she sighed, closing her eyes her expression signaling clear distress in the lines of her face and the rigid posture of her laying body. It stirred his heart in an unpleasant sense a little bit at this first sign of just how different her reactions had become, she usually didn't allow herself such obvious signs of stress.

"You can ask now."

And he wanted to, everything in him begged to pull out the information of what had prompted Elena to leave her home, run away from all the people she cared about to find him instead of dealing with her change with the help of one of the Salvatore's or even her vampire best friend. But he knew that sometimes retelling wasn't the cure it was made out to be, sometimes it just made things worse.

And as said Elijah was a patient man, he could wait until she was ready.

He turned towards the window, not being able to look at her when she was acting this hopeless. All the light seeping from her every smile was buried out of reach and maybe gone forever, he couldn't bring himself to make it worse than it was already.

"You don't have to tell me anything Elena."

"But I want to."

Her breathy whisper was so quiet he wouldn't have heard it if he wasn't an Original, but he was and so his head whipped back towards her. She was still looking at him and her honesty was bare before him clearly showing it within her mesmerizing brown pools, he clenched down on the feeling Elena's words inspired. She couldn't know why something so seemingly insignificant was suddenly so crucial.

He couldn't let her know what 'always and forever' meant either and if she knew one she'd figure out the other.

Loving her was cruel, not something he was ashamed of and too deeply rooted by now to be forgotten, but Elena didn't need to ever know it was there. She could barely deal with two suitors, adding a third would destroy her even if this change didn't.

"All right, Elena. What happened to you?"

"Damon turned me."

And for the first time in more years than he could right then count he needed to really fight to control his face from changing and his fangs from being revealed. By now he could drink blood when starving without doing either and yet the hungry simmering rage almost undid all his careful work. He tightly closed his eyes, that was the only change in his expression but his fingernails dug into his clenched palms until he knew she could smell his blood and Elijah almost lost the battle with the beast within.

But then he felt her warm touch on the side of his face grounding him back into reality, bringing him back from the bloodlust and the madness that would inevitably follow.

"It's fine Elijah. I'm fine."

He exhaled, keeping his eyes closed trying to postpone the moment when he'd have to open them, because he knew that she would step back once he did and he wanted to prolong her touch for even one moment longer. He was imprinting how this felt, how soft the skin of her fingers was, how gentle her touch, how she smelled slightly differently when standing this close. But nothing lasts forever and all too soon he had to look at her.

As always she surprised him, she didn't move an inch.

He looked deeply into her warm brown eyes and knew she was lying, it might be a kind lie, something he wished was the truth, but it wasn't. He was relieved to see all that compassion he loved about her still there, but now the edges were frayed and even if the gentle sympathy was still all encompassing it only hid the shattered ruins of the rest of her. He could see self loathing, anger, bitterness as well now. All the qualities Elena was so good with stepping back from were pushing back, threatening to overwhelm her kind nature.

And while he read her, she read him because he didn't have to contradict her reassurance, for as always Elena saw that he knew it wasn't anywhere near fine.

"Alright I'm not, but you will help."

It wasn't a question, there was too much ingrained conviction for that, there was no doubt in Elena's mind that he could help her and that he would. Slowly, but without hesitation Elijah put his hand on top of hers, cupping her palm even closer to his cheek and squeezed it in agreement. In comfort too, but his or hers? He didn't know and it didn't matter.

"Yes, Elena. I will do everything in my power to help you."

And afterwards he would pay a visit to the older Salvatore and make him regret ever hurting this woman in one of the worst ways possible. He didn't yet know the circumstances, but however justified they might be those didn't matter all that much when he needed to bring back the most remarkable woman from the edge before she had the chance to fall over and turn into the person she had sworn not to be.

He wouldn't let Elena lose all the humanity she held in her heart, the precious part he first - however unwillingly, - fell in love with.

* x *

'Always and forever.'

She understood the rest of his message so well, but those words confused her. They frightened her even as they comforted her. They were like a promise and an apology and a confession all by itself.

'But a confession of what?'

* x *

The utmost task on his agenda was curbing the bloodlust she would be forced to feel for the rest of her life. It was both the hardest and the easiest out of all the curses following a vampire.

"Why can't I just drink alcohol? Caroline said it helps."

"It does, but if you ever drank too much you would drown out the voice at the back of your mind that yells for you to step back, not get too close and stop. Even the best humans do terrible things when intoxicated and although vampires need a whole lot more to… how do you say it now? Ah yes, 'get plastered' it still happens, except the cost is always higher for us."

Her already pained expression turned sadder still, he could see she still hadn't fully accepted the change. It was understandable under the circumstances and the person he was dealing with, but he knew she needed to face this or she would never be able to master herself.

"So what you want from me is to sit still in front of a glass filled with human blood and then not drink it?"

"Essentially, yes. You are young and so before you can make yourself pull back once already drinking first you need to lower the temptation."

She exhaled in defeat and pulled her hair back in a loose ponytail to get them out of her drawn face. He stood transfixed as one strand escaped her hold inexplicably fixing his attention to her delicate neck. His fingers twitched. He wanted so badly to extend his hand to move the seemingly soft hairs behind her ear, but contained the want. He had an unfortunate talent for that.

Instead of broadcasting his feelings louder than he did anyway he headed towards the freezer and took out a bag of blood. As he carefully spilled the contents into a glass he could feel her eyes on the back of his head and couldn't help to wonder about what was running through her mind right then.

He turned around sending her one of his actual smiles, lately reserved only for her and sat back in his chair placing the glass between them on the table.

She immediately froze her eyes changing, her teeth extending and he needed to fight back the grief that suddenly threatened to swallow him. That transformation didn't belong on Elena's face.

For a minute they sat in silence, Elena growing more tense and ready to spring for the glass with every passing second.

"Distract me!"

It might have been worded as a command, but the plea was obvious in the tone. The note of desperation too was palpable and so he acquiesced.

"Very well." His tone turned quieter and into what Rebekah long ago with affection but now scathingly called his soothing story-teller voice, he still vividly remembered in his human days using it on the nights when the moon was full so that while hiding in the caves he might calm down his siblings by telling grand tales both true and imaginary. But he knew a story wouldn't help her, he needed to prompt her to talk herself. After all listening isn't quite as distracting as explaining something yourself, and as an added bonus there was a question that had bothered him since he opened his door to her. "I'm curious about something, how exactly did you find me? I did not tell anyone, not even my family where I would go."

"You didn't, which is why soon after you left I asked Bonnie to do a tracking spell for me in case we needed to get your help."

Her heart jumped, something about that sentence was a lie, but this wasn't the time to pull the truth from her and for once he might prefer to be deceived. In any case, he should have expected her answer, after all that's exactly what he would have done in her place. Actually that's what he had done when she was still nothing but the Doppelganger to him.

And yet that didn't explain all of it because as far as he knew he hadn't left the key ingredient behind. At the back of his mind he noticed her grip on her chair was loosening, the rest of him focused on the picture her answer was painting.

"Ah, but what did she use? I rather doubt you could get your hands on the blood of any of my siblings and I was careful to not leave any of my personal possessions behind to be found."

He didn't expect her answer, but on reflection he should have.

"Your letter."

It struck him a blow he wasn't wholly prepared for. He knew the letter meant more to him than her, but somehow the revelation that Elena shared his words with someone else was painful. It shouldn't mean much, as far as she knew it was just a letter of apology and goodbye, but that didn't change the point. Didn't change the hurt betrayal he under the circumstances had no right to feel.

As always, she read him like an open book. If that wasn't part of the attraction he felt for her he'd find it really very irritating, maybe he did anyway.

A secret smile grew within her eyes and unto her lips, transforming her whole face and he found himself speechless once again in her presence. It was the first real smile he'd seen since the one where she promised to inform him on what his mother told her. She slowly pushed the blood away from her never dropping their locked gaze and then spoke.

"She didn't read it Elijah."

And maybe she did know how important that letter was after all.

* x *

As the ring slid upon her finger, was placed there by his hand her breath caught and a vision formed. White and flowers, veils and 'I do'.

And then she was herself and he was Elijah and something incomprehensible had suddenly changed.

* x *

"Where are we going?"

He sent towards her a smile absentmindedly noticing how the longer she stayed with him the more often those came out. This close coexistence might not be about him, but while Elena tried to regain her inner strength she was unknowingly bringing back the happiness and yes 'humanity' he thought long since lost to him. Elena's brows were furrowed and for the first time since seeing her again she looked relaxed, his left hand clenched fighting the urge to reach for her hand.

Some of the physical borders had been breached when she cried in his arms, after all they no longer carefully avoided any accidental contact, but most still remained and he wasn't quite ready to chop down the rest of them. Sadly he thought he might be waiting for her to be the one to initiate the breech.

"To see a witch I have a deal with. I noticed you do not yet have a lapis lazuli, we must rectify that."

It was true. He'd noticed it when he put her to sleep the night she showed up and directly after covered the windows accordingly, but she couldn't live life to the fullest in the dark and so this little outing was now taking place.

Elijah glanced at her from the corner of his eye without turning his head. Elena was looking in the distance past the houses and cars towards the horizon and at the crescent moon illuminating the slowly blooming spring earth. Her eyes were glazed over and a bit misty probably from looking through slightly painful memories again, he wished she would stop doing that, it made him want to draw her near so he might do something unwise that would make her forget everything but him for just a moment.

"I didn't really have time to ask for one, I left as soon as… as soon as I became a vampire."

Her voice broke on the last word, but he pretended not to have noticed. This wasn't the time to direct her through muddy emotional waters, instead it was a moment to gift back the sun stolen from her.

They reached their destination, the little Chinese shop tucked around a shaded corner and as he guided her towards it - not quite touching the back of her hand - she stumbled. He caught her before she could fall instantly noticing her suddenly rapid heartbeat over his own accelerated one. Before either of them could say anything Elijah took a grip of himself, steadied her and politely knocked at the door.

"Shénme?"

The snarl was just as rigid as he remembered it and the middle aged Chinese woman behind it just as formidable. She took one look at him and if it's possible turned sourer but much less menacing, after all he had sporadically known her all her life. And as she tended to remind him on the rare occasions they met she didn't have to like it.

"Oh it's you. Shoulda' known, you're the only vampire I know who bothers knocking."

And suddenly she spoke impeccable English with a barely perceptible British accent. It still amused him when Samantha made herself seem foreign although having grown up in Baltimore and studied in London it had taken all her inherited stubbornness to learn traditional Chinese from her own grandmother at all. But he understood the reasoning, even vampires were prone to stereotyping and it was always useful to seem like you don't entirely comprehend a language, it's why she was still alive. Well that and his guaranteed continued protection of her line.

Samantha looked to his left finally taking in the woman beside him and the glare came back full force.

"You brought Katherine to my home? I thought we agreed you wouldn't drag the killers with you."

Elena almost imperceptibly flinched, the sharp words of the witch striking hard. Elijah had a suspicion that since there was again less difference between the identical looking women she was even more uncomfortable and hurt by any comparisons.

"I do apologize, introductions seem to be in order. Samantha this is Elena Gilbert and a descendant of Katerina, she was sadly recently turned but has not killed a human in her life. Elena let me introduce you to Samantha Chen Sing the witch I wanted us to visit."

The witch's eyes turned slightly apologetic, but otherwise she only inclined her head. Looking back at him she stepped back in silent invitation.

Elijah didn't move, placed an arm on Elena's shoulder to stop her from stepping forward when she made a move to do so and raised his eyebrow because he had no wish to run into an invisible barrier. He was well aware she performed some archaic rescinding ritual after every instance she had to temporarily invite a vampire in.

The wicked smile he received for his lack of movement left no doubt she was reminiscing on the one and single moment he made that mistake.

"Come in."

The front area of the shop was cozy if extremely cliché, the Chinese souvenirs were all around them covering the dark wooden shelves and the incense choking the room completed the picture of what someone ignorant of the ability's of the owner would expect.

"So Elijah Smith, what is it exactly you want this time? I thought I made myself very clear on your vendetta against Klaus, I'm willing to help you attain any magical objects you have a wish for, but I do not want to be on the psychopaths radar."

Samantha was standing behind the counter carefully keeping and eye on both him and Elena, after all a truce only went so far and over the centuries he had learned that laying down of arms was the only positive relationship he could share with a witch.

"This isn't about Niklaus. I am here to acquire a daylight ring for my guest."

Samantha relaxed at hearing this, but crossed her arms and he knew it was time for the scripted dance he had been doing with her family through the past three hundred years.

"And I get?"

"Two additional generations should be fair."

"Fine, but say the words."

"I agree to protect your next nine direct descendants from any harm sought by vampires and come to their aid to assist them with any other threat if I am called. You have my word on that."

"Great. Wait a moment and I'll be back with what I have."

Elena had been observing him in clear amusement all through the exchange, his own lips curled. It was a bit humorous the way his interactions with the Chens went.

"Yes Elena?"

"Oh nothing, but it seems I'm not the only one who knows how you honor your word."

He didn't respond, just gauging her sincerity from her eyes and saw no sarcasm there, only open honesty. He didn't think it was possible to feel all that relief, she really had forgiven him.

Their connection was broken by the return of Samantha, she was carrying a drawer containing about fifty different rings starting with simple bands and ending with expensive jeweled ones. The Chens weren't the most powerful magic user family, but they were collectors and most of their merchandise was enchanted objects found or bought from the estates of dead lines… or dead vampires.

"Well Elena? Which would you like to have?"

Elena took his words for the invitation it was and started looking through the different rings.

"You know I'm going to pay you back for this."

"There is no need. Consider this a very late birthday gift, I missed the chance to congratulate you because of my brother so now is as good a time as any I believe."

"Thank you then." She turned back towards him and showed him her choice held in the palm of her right hand.

Without considering the implications he took the white gold ring from her noticing the exquisite Celtic knot the metal was tied in and then as if hypnotized took hold of her right hand in his, slowly sliding the beautiful creation onto her delicate ring finger he carefully kept his breathing even.

Her heart was jumping in her chest more quickly than he had ever heard it except when afraid and when he looked at her their eyes once again connecting in a way more binding than he was entirely aware of. Elijah took her in. There was a rosy blush covering her cheeks - the first one there since the turn - and her eyes were wider than normal, her lips parted letting out a little gasp.

Only then did he understand what the move looked like.

They might have stood like that for a lot longer if not for the witch he had completely forgotten about.

"Alright lovebirds," she grimaced looking slightly ill at the thought "You might like to waste your own time because you have so much of it, but I'd really appreciate it if you left so I wouldn't have to see you for like another ten years or so. Thanks."

The spell entwining them was lifted with the intrusion of the voice and he let go of Elena's hand stepping back to keep a decent distance, once more looking at her he couldn't help the slight thrill that ran down his spine once he saw the slight disappointment on her face.

But then she straightened, her face closing off and he composed himself as well.

"Thank you Samantha, we will bother you no more. I hope you will have a nice evening."

"Bye Samantha, it was nice meeting you and thanks for the ring."

Turning together towards the door they exited silently, without words or looks exchanging an agreement never to talk about what had taken place not moments ago.

* x *

"Rebekah, don't do this!"

"Why not? You did, and hey I wanna' see if you can come back from this too."

"What happened? Damon?"

"I'm sorry Elena."

"What did you do?"

"Please drink, I can't live with you dead."

"I can't. Stefan I don't want this life."

"But you have to live, for me, for Damon. For Jeremy, please!"

* x *

She was crying in her sleep again.

Elijah was reading in the well lit library he couldn't live without and her guest room was on the other side of the house, but his hearing was better than that of a wolves - granted an ordinary ones, - so that didn't actually matter all that much.

It was almost a nightly occurrence, Elena would go to sleep, toss around awake for an hour or two before finally falling asleep only to then start crying when facing the invisible monsters he could do nothing to vanquish. And listening was slowly tearing him apart in ways he mistakenly thought he was no longer capable of.

He had stayed away until now because going upstairs to wake her would be an invasion of privacy he wasn't certain she would approve of and frankly she needed all the sleep she could get, even if it was for a short time every night filled with tears. But then he heard the scream erupting from her throat and knew he couldn't stand by to listen to her suffer any longer, maybe he should have had the courage to do this before, but now faster than a human blink he was up the stairs and by the door that separated him from Elena.

When he finally entered he did so at a speed expected from a mortal, but then stopped short in his tracks once his eyes finally fell upon her slumbering form.

She looked different asleep, not peaceful, the tears covering her face making that completely impossible and yet somehow the sight was in a way more otherworldly beautiful than the one she made when awake. There was an eerie translucent quality to her loveliness now, the dark hair falling around on her pillow creating a messy halo and the sweat covering the skin of her body making her shine in the pale moonlight seeping through the window. If the picture she unknowingly made wasn't so tragic in nature and his heart didn't ache at the very sight he might consider this to be the moment where she looked her most alluring.

He shook his head ridding himself of the avalanche of thoughts best left alone and tried instead to come up with something he could do to banish the nightmares torturing her well deserved rest. Preferably without the need to wake her and rob her of the remaining hours better spent regaining her energy.

He could change her dream of course, but to do that he would first have to enter her mind and that was something he had long ago promised never to do. It was an act of violation he had developed distaste for in the years spent by the side of his brother.

No, there was only really one thing he could do that might work.

Without sound he sat on the side of her bed and after a moment of indecision took a hold of her hand. Slowly at first Elijah started to run soothing circles over her knuckles with his thumb and then surprising himself started to hum a soft melody.

He didn't have the best voice not even within his own family, that ability once upon a time belonged to Henrik, but it wasn't bad either. The lullaby came back as if he'd never forgotten it and although the words were long since lost to him he remembered it as one his mother sang them to sleep to. It was part of the group of memories he had sought to extinguish when Esther destroyed the image of kindness he once held of her.

Minutes later it seemed to work, because pain was slowly bleeding away from her face, soothing the lines between her eyebrows and casting the peaceful look he hoped to one day see again on her conscious face as well. The tears ceased to run down her cheeks and he held in the breath of relief trying to escape.

It took ten more minutes until he was certain Elena was back in deep slumber again, uninterrupted by either dreams or nightmares of any kind. By the time her heart was deep and steady once more he - without being aware of it himself - had started playing with the band of precious metal on her finger.

Suddenly Elijah realized that this might be his one chance to say out loud that cherished secret which had rooted itself into his mind and heart without burdening the soul of someone already so very torn.

"My lovely Elena, I am sorry. It seems I couldn't stop myself from making that mistake again after all." He sighed in tiredness no mortal could ever truly comprehend and leaned forward kissing her brow. "It does look like I'm once more at the mercy of our greatest weakness. And yet somehow I do not regret it, I had almost forgotten how it is to feel so much for another. I love you."

After running his thumb over the ring on her finger one last time he stood up leaving the sanctuary he invaded without her permission.

Some of the weight was lifted with his confession, but the longing was only deepening and he had no doubt that keeping his distance would be a hundred times harder from now on.

But Elena's wellbeing was worth the heartache.

* x *

He was looking at her again. She could feel his eyes. Gentle and thoughtful, hiding a secret she was afraid to guess at.

A threatening stranger. An ally. A friend. Something different. Something more.

'Who is he to me now?'

* x *

He could no longer remember what home felt like. Too long a time had passed since anything close to it existed. Not since Rebekah still smiled at him had he felt it around him. Not since Klaus still laughed with anything but cruelty had home been anything but a dream. Not since Kol's eyes danced with something other than malicious glee had he completely relaxed. Not since Finn could express any other emotion but misery had that peace been present. Not since Esther was still a mother had it been anything but a bitter memory. Not since Mikael was a father who protected not hunted his children. Not since Henrik was still alive and looking up to all his siblings, trying to be just like them.

But all of that was gone. He often hoped, but never imagined that he could recapture that elusive concept.

And yet the longer he lived with Elena the more he felt at home and he was well aware it had nothing to do with the house and everything to do with the woman. It terrified him, kept him awake at night.

It wouldn't last, because sooner or later Elena would come to terms with her new future. Sooner or later she would forgive Damon like she did a hundred times before. Sooner or later she would see Stefan again and notice how much she still loved him. Sooner or later she wouldn't be able to take the distance between herself and her brother. Sooner or later she would leave.

Soon Elijah would be all alone again, but this time he would know exactly what it would be he'd be missing. And he wasn't sure how he would go on after that.

So he enjoyed what he could get. And as they sat in his library in silence with books in their laps Elijah let himself be immersed in home by the sound of her heartbeat and the little laughs she tried to smother while reading something amusing.

The clock was ticking against him and the more he helped her the less time he had left. Happiness was fleeting it was something that couldn't be held, like a breeze of warm wind that never stayed leaving only the memory of warmth behind.

* Part 2 *

Fanfic: Space Between Lines (1/1)

2012-03-04T11:22:15Z

Title: Space Between Lines
Rating: K
Author: terapsina
Fandom: The Vampire Diaries
Pairing: Elijah/Elena
Word Count: 1064
Parts: 1/1
Summary: So she read and reread his message until the paper became worn and ink paled. And every time she did she noticed something else. One-shot. Elejah
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

O0o0O Space Between Lines O0o0O

Elena,

Today I did things I abhor to protect the one thing I value most, my family. If anyone can understand it, it's you. Your compassion is a gift, Elena. Carry it with you, as I will carry my regret.

Always and forever,
Elijah

*oOo*

She missed him. It's something that took her by surprise, but once the thought entered her life it wouldn't ever quite leave.

When she first read his goodbye letter it brought comfort, but she didn't understand yet all the layered meanings hidden within his words. Once she woke up though and was introduced to the sunny day in a world where Bonnie couldn't bring herself to face her, where the Salvatore brothers took the coward's way by avoiding her and where Klaus was still very much a threat - thereby making Jeremy's return impossible, - she noticed the ache inspired by his absence.

So she read and reread his message until the paper became worn and ink paled. And every time she did she noticed something else.

*oOo*

Your compassion is a gift, Elena.

*oOo*

He admired her ability to forgive. But he didn't ask for it or expect it, didn't want to use it to his advantage. He didn't plan to corner her at every opportunity trying to suck all her compassion for himself, selfishly thinking that it was his right to gain from it but sneering when that same quality was turned towards someone he thought undeserving.

It both hurt and freed her. This clarity brought a new light to more than her picture of him.

She didn't want to lose the humanity she possessed. And however much Damon and Stefan repeated they didn't want to change her they still so very obviously wanted to turn her into something they hated being themselves.

She was no longer certain if that was love.

Why was it that Elijah's neat script made it so clear when her own mind shied away from these thoughts?

*oOo*

Today I did things I abhor to protect the one thing I value most, my family.

*oOo*

He was sorry for what he had done. Despite her lie, despite the fact that she signed his death warrant he still found his proceeding actions despicable.

He got what he wanted. His family was alive, his plan worked and yet he felt regret.

And somehow that changed a lot. If he hadn't left her this envelope she might never have thought of him as moral again, but he was. Elijah was an honorable man, he had just forgotten the path such a person would take.

And so he left to find the right road again.

For some reason she wished he didn't have to leave to do it. Every time she saw him there was this safety that enveloped her, this courage that grew in her heart and the wisdom to use it. With him gone she felt adrift in this sea of the blackest of depths again.

She missed the easy connection they shared. It was uncanny how effortlessly she could read his intentions and how seamlessly he saw through her walls.

*oOo*

If anyone can understand it, it's you.

*oOo*

He saw her. Not her Petrova face, but her.

She never worried that he looked at her and fought to banish the ghosts of Katherine or even Tatia. She didn't look at him and worry he might suddenly say the wrong name even if he was the man that once did so.

It was frightening how much trust she still placed in him and how such a small part of it had anything to do with her physical safety.

He could see how important family was to her, could understand that her friends were as much a part of her as those few left who were related to her by blood. He appreciated it.

If she ever wrote a romance novel she knew it wouldn't center on a pointless triangle that was all about attraction and ripped the protagonist's heart apart. It would be about a soul deep connection between people who understood one another better than they sometimes understood themselves. And even as she fought this truth it never left.

She wished he hadn't either.

*oOo*

Carry it with you, as I will carry my regret.

*oOo*

He didn't want her to lose herself and he didn't want her to forget him. It might not be what he wished to tell her, but she could see the accidentally spilled meaning so very clearly it almost hurt. Her eyes certainly stung from keeping the tears at bay.

He would keep thinking about her. Wherever he was right now, she was on his mind and his actions still haunted his dreams.

It was like a promise never revealed, but out there nevertheless.

She meant something to him, something he chose to keep secret and buried. She couldn't be certain what, but whatever the feeling it was powerful. She hoped time wouldn't wane it.

Where love from the brothers so many thought she would choose from was stifling the unnamed bond between herself and Elijah was still feeding her strength, even across distance through words written on a simple piece of paper she could feel him. Fragile but so certain was this paper thin line connecting them.

*oOo*

Always and forever.

*oOo*

Those words followed her dreams, they stood on the edge of her conscience every day.

He couldn't have known that she would recognize them, couldn't have known that because she did she would read more in them than he might have intended for her. But if he wrote them then he meant them and that was something she couldn't throw aside.

She had heard those words from his sister. They meant staying together for eternity.

And he made the promise of his family to her now. She meant as much to him as them. He loved her and he was certain he always would.

It meant he would return. Sooner or later she'd see him again, and after reading his letter so many times she had come to the conclusion that she was looking forward to the moment when he did.

A letter could mean more than just the words written in black and white, if you knew the person whose hand wrote them the spaces between lines could tell you more than the message itself.

Sometimes Elena knew Elijah better than she knew herself.

Icons: Elijah and Elena

2012-03-03T11:34:28Z

Elijah/Elena

(01-03)
(04-06)
(07-09)
(10-12)
(13-15)
(16-18)
(19-21)

Fanfic: Jar of Hearts (1/1)

2012-02-21T14:48:24Z

Title: Jar of Hearts
Rating: K+
Author: terapsina
Fandom: The Vampire Diaries
Pairing/Characters: Caroline/Klaus, Caroline, Klaus and guest appearance by Bonnie.
Word Count: 4921
Parts: 1/1
Summary: Caroline fell in love with Klaus, but then he broke a promise. Now fifteen years later he's found her and as you can imagine she isn't too thrilled about it. Song-fic, one-shot. Klaroline
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

A/N: I know many people aren't that thrilled about song-fics, but give this one a chance please. Anyway, as soon as Klaroline became a possibility I thought that one day this song would fit them perfectly, so I jumped ahead and wrote this.

O0o0O

O0o0O Jar of Hearts O0o0O

O0o0O

I know I can't take one more step towards you

Cause all that's waiting is regret

And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore?

You lost the love I love the most

O0o0O

It ended in tragedy. She had known it would the moment she found his first gift, even while she loosened the white ribbon she had known that whatever his intentions, pure (snort) or manipulative, they would still lead to the same conclusion. And they did, in the end her heart lay shattered by his feet.

So she left. She couldn't just stay in that town a day longer, after all it had taken too much away from her already. She lost her life there. She lost her father there. She killed someone there. And it was the place that broke her heart four times.

She loved Klaus, it had taken a long time before she did and she had fought it every step of the way, but in the end it was a battle she wasn't meant to win. And yet that didn't matter, because the only thing being with him brought was regret and sorrow.

And as he stood facing her now, fifteen years since their last meeting, the familiar smirk still fresh across his face and his eyes still lighting with admiration, while he looked at her, she viciously pushed down all lingering emotion. She wasn't his anymore, not ever again.

Caroline Forbes still might look seventeen, but she had grown up and she didn't need him. He had lost all rights to her heart the moment he betrayed his word.

"Had a nice night Caroline?" his eyes flew over her little black dress and hesitated a moment longer than necessary on her chest. She crossed her arms. "I have to mention though. Russia? I didn't expect to find you here."

That was a lie, she was well aware he had been looking for her for a while and if he was here now, then it was because he had every intention to run into her. She wouldn't play this game with him however, that's what got her into trouble the first time.

"Go away Klaus!"

Not waiting for a response she turned around to leave. A shame of course, this was a nice apartment, but Saint Petersburg had a lot of excellent hotels she could stay in while finding a new part of the globe.

O0o0O

I learned to live, half alive

And now you want me one more time

O0o0O

She had finally learned how to get past Klaus, how to wake up without wanting to let him find her and to then forgive him.

It had taken so much time, but she could honestly say that she could live again. It wasn't the same as before, she could never again be as positive towards the world as she was before she loved him. And life was no longer as exciting, as full of exhilaration. But she could survive with that, because it wasn't as soul crushing either.

And now he was back thinking he could somehow win her over once more. But doing it the first time had been a miracle in of itself, it would never happen again.

He could send her all the portraits of her face he wanted, gift her with the most historically significant jewelry and it would mean nothing. He didn't understand love then, and he still didn't, and all the grand gestures he so preferred wouldn't change a dime.

"I like your hair, red suits you, love."

"Really? I think I'll go blond again, or maybe shorten them into a pixie cut entirely."

She suddenly felt like the hero in that old TV serial she loved, when she hadn't known any better, and thought that chopping your hair because someone complimented it was dumb. She sympathized now.

She waived over the bartender for another glass of liquor, if she couldn't avoid Klaus physically maybe getting smashed out of her mind would somehow make him disappear. As she saw him compel the third guy coming over to save her from the man obviously bothering her - with every intention of finding their way into her skirt later on of course, - she knew it was a wane hope anyway.

O0o0O

And who do you think you are?

Runnin' 'round leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

And tearing love apart

O0o0O

"You're stupid!"

She glared up at him trying to ignore the tilting floor and the swaying ceiling, or was that the other way around? She didn't care, all that mattered was that Klaus stood in front of her and she had a piece of her mind to give him. As always he derailed her from her plans.

"Am I? I think that's the alcohol talking sweetheart."

He gently loosened the dress, sliding the expensive material down her shoulders and then removing it entirely. She was surprised to note that he didn't take advantage any further than that, but then again she would have kicked him in the jewels if he tried. All this sweetness was making it harder to stay cold towards him though, instead she chose to go with fire instead.

"No! You are stupid, and mean and… and a jarhead!"

He cocked his eyebrow at that and she was angry to notice the little smile that she knew meant he thought she was acting adorable again. It only agitated her more and made her go to the big guns, to the stuff she knew would really hurt him.

"Who do you think you are anyway? You came to my town and you killed people and you took Tyler away from me. You know I loved him right? I loved him more than anything, than anyone else." She saw his face closing off, his eyes losing their warmth, but she didn't do the smart thing and back down. She chose to take the killing shot instead. "More than you!"

And then he was glaring right back, there was power behind his stare and she almost felt fear, but she was drunk and furious and didn't apologize. If he hurt her now, he'd just prove her right and it would reinforce her side in every argument they'd ever had.

But he didn't attack her, didn't lay a finger. Out of all the people she knew and cared about this above everything else made her unique in their eyes, - at least where Klaus was concerned.

"If you loved him so much, why is he in Nebraska playing house with that Indian tramp, Sarah was it?"

She froze in surprise at his words, they had even shocked her out of the alcohol induced haze a bit because she hadn't after all known that he had kept tabs on her friends. Then again Tyler was his first hybrid, maybe Klaus only looked in on him and Elena. She shook her head, to free it of the irrelevant thoughts and to rid herself of the images an angry hybrid Original inspired, he always looked extra hot like this.

"Her name is Sari and she's a nice girl. And maybe unlike you I know when to do the right thing and let the people I love go, maybe if you were the tiniest bit familiar with the concept your family wouldn't all hate you."

She knew she had gone too far when his face changed revealing the veins by his eyes. His fingers twitched and for a second Caroline was sure she would lose her heart to him in a very literal sense too. But then he turned his back on her and strode towards the door of her honeymoon suite.

"I hope you can get into bed by yourself, I have no wish to be here when you lose your stomach contents. I'll see you tomorrow when you're feeling better."

She almost called him back to apologize, but silenced herself by biting her lip. He deserved everything she had said.

O0o0O

You're gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul

So don't come back for me

Who do you think you are?

O0o0O

As she traveled downstairs to the crazy expensive café to buy some much needed coffee in her favorite sundress, large dark sunglasses covering her sensitive eyes, she was sure she wouldn't be seeing Klaus again.

When she noticed him lounging in one of the extremely comfortable chairs flirting in Russian with a pretty assisting manager she didn't know if what she felt was disappointment or irritation. It certainly wasn't jealousy.

She wasn't a total idiot, she knew a setup when she saw one. Instead of butting in to compel the poor girl to leave, like Klaus certainly wanted her to, she just rolled her eyes, - even if no one saw it, it was the thought that counted - and kept moving with purpose towards the promise of caffeine in peace. It wasn't to be.

Klaus had abandoned his admirer the moment he saw Caroline leaving and quickly caught up.

"Good morning Caroline! I hope you feel better this morning."

She grunted in reply, hoping to make her point clear. She didn't want to talk to him and would really appreciate it if he did the decent thing and left her the hell alone. But it was Klaus, so of course such blatant signals went ignored.

She quickened her steps and chose the childish route of pretending that the man next to her was nothing more than an annoying fly buzzing around her. Or more accurately an annoying, hybrid spider that wanted to lure her into its deceptively pleasant web of lies, bullshit and broken promises. What? She never claimed that she wasn't still bitter.

Showing more restraint than was usual Klaus didn't try to speak to her again until after her second cup of mystic hangover cure, ingeniously created by grinding the famous brown beans. It almost made her want to be more lenient with him. Almost.

"You know it took me a lot of effort to find you love. You certainly put your mind into hiding yourself from me well."

"Then take the freaking hint!"

"I know you lived in Germany for a while and, if I'm not mistaken, visited Egypt as well... when was it, six years ago?"

He had continued his monologue as if not hearing her, like she had whispered when in fact the people sitting at the other tables were looking at her judgingly following her outburst. She just glared them down, smiling in triumph when they looked away.

She tried not to be additionally pleased by his amused laugh.

"I did notice how you seem to specifically avoid Italy, France and Japan however. Why is that?"

She gulped down the last drop from her cup to avoid his searching gaze and to give herself a moment to regroup. The truth was that she didn't want to visit any of the places he, once upon a time, promised to show her alone, but there was no way she would ever admit it.

Instead she scoffed.

"Don't flatter yourself, they're just not as interesting as you seem to think."

Silence descended after her words, and with anyone else Caroline would call it a comfortable one, but linking that word with him would be dangerous. The moment passed and when she finally looked up connecting her eyes with his, she could see all the humanity he wasn't supposed to have, still there, reserved just for her. But that was the problem, after all, no one else ever received that amnesty.

"Why did you leave?"

Her gaze turned furious, if he couldn't see that than he was blinder than she ever thought. But if to get rid of him she needed to explain herself then that's what she would do.

"You promised me something and then you broke that word. You told me that you wouldn't hurt my friends anymore if I let myself love you."

"I didn't harm them Caroline."

"No? So when you switched out Matt's and Elena's vervain and then compelled them to conceive a child it was completely innocent? It didn't in any way hurt them? You didn't plan it so you could hunt down the next Petrova Doppelganger in five hundred more years?"

His face didn't alter, but she could see a trace of remorse hidden within his eyes, probably invisible even to himself. Except that this trace just wasn't good enough, he had destroyed so many other relationships, not counting their own (never counting their own), with that move. And it might have given Elena the child she otherwise would never have received, but she didn't love Matt, at least not really and then suddenly she was parents with him.

So there Caroline had stood in the middle again, not wanting to fight against the man she loved, but not being willing to protect him from the friends who were doing the right thing. For as long as he lived he would always be a threat to Elena's children and grandchildren. And he was the single, truly immortal being on Earth.

But more importantly to her, he broke a promise. He might have kept himself to the letter of the law as they say, but he broke the spirit of it. And if she couldn't trust him to even avoid shattering the life of her best friend, she couldn't trust him with anything else. She couldn't trust that he loved her.

"You're cold Klaus, you barely feel! You have lived too long, seen too much, done evil too often. I don't think you know the meaning of the word love. I left because I didn't trust you. And I don't want you here, because it took me a long time to deal with it and I don't need you to mess up my life again."

It looked like a mighty glacier breaking into pieces. Almost anyone would have told Caroline that Klaus Mikaelson didn't possess a heart, almost everyone did, and yet they would be wrong, because she was just now witnessing the moment it broke.

O0o0O

I hear you're asking all around

If I am anywhere to be found

I have grown too strong

To ever fall back in your arms

O0o0O

A week had gone by since the moment Caroline unloaded all she ever thought of him on Klaus. He hadn't spoken to her since, but she could still find him every night drinking in the bar downstairs. She was surprised to note that no horrific murders had taken place and no one was missing in the nearby area (she checked). It almost made her impressed, except it would be stupid to feel that way about someone not going on a killing spree.

Her hotel phone rang and she absentmindedly picked it up.

"Yes?"

"Caroline? Thank God, do you ever turn on your cell phone? I've been calling you for days and do you have any idea how hard it was to find out you live in a hotel now? What happened to your apartment?"

Bonnie's voice was the most welcome sound she had heard all week. It conjured up the smile she had almost lost fifteen years ago.

"Hi Bonnie! My apartment was… inaccessible. And sorry, I guess I forgot to recharge the thing."

She lay down on her back, the phone to her ear and her eyes trained on the ceiling, she was suddenly struck by the million conversations they used to have this way, back when they were both teens and not separated by more than a twenty minute walk.

"What did you want to tell me?"

"Oh right, Klaus found out where you are. I'm sorry, but Damon as you well know is still a bastard and when he was given the slightest incentive he sang like a frightened canary. I'm surprised Klaus didn't try that sooner actually."

Caroline winced knowing that this conversation would have done a lot more good those few days ago. She should really stop forgetting to keep her phone turned on and fully charged.

"Oh!"

"Yeah, so I suggest you leave, before he shows up on your doorstep."

Caroline let out a tired sigh, she would need to handle this carefully if she didn't want her whole group of close friends to show up with torches and pitchforks. It would be nice to see them again, she had missed them terribly, but it would complicate things unnecessarily. And she knew Klaus was just about ready to give up anyway.

She chose to ignore the little prick of sadness this understanding brought on.

"Too late Bon! He's here."

"What! Don't worry we'll be there tomorrow, I have a bunch of sick days saved up anyway so…"

"It's alright, you don't have to come. I can handle him."

She interrupted her friend before Bonnie could buy the plane tickets and alert the rest of the gang. If she couldn't stop the witch in her tracks and plead out a promise to remain silent she could be sure that at least one more unwelcome surprise wouldn't be waiting for her in the following days.

For a moment the other end of this long distance call remained silent, but then Bonnie restarted the conversation in a much steadier tone.

"Are you sure? I know you… cared about Klaus, and it might be easier for you to stay away from him if we were there."

"I don't love him, Bonnie!"

She no longer knew who she was trying to convince. A day ago this wouldn't have felt like a lie, but as stubborn as she was Klaus' presence nevertheless brought up all the feelings she thought long since buried. It didn't change anything of course, Klaus was still and always would be the crazed hybrid Original who destroyed everything he touched and left bloodied bodies and broken hearts in his wake.

It had taken her so long before she could face an eternity as a vampire and even longer to be fine with doing it alone. She wouldn't, couldn't go thought that yet again. She was strong now, letting him back was too big of a risk and one he didn't deserve.

O0o0O

Dear, it took so long

Just to feel alright

Remember how to put back

The light in my eyes

O0o0O

Caroline was involved in an hour of conversation, begging and bargaining before she was sure that Bonnie would not say anything to anyone about Klaus' visit. But she only had a week to get rid of him, after that all bets were off.

And Caroline Forbes was nothing if not proactive. That talk with one of her closest friends had taken place twenty minutes ago, now dressed she was steadily marching towards the sinfully good looking, but very bad for her man with purpose and poise. He didn't even look up from his bottle of scotch, but she knew he had noticed her by his rigid shoulders and uncharacteristic frown.

"Are you trying to ignore me now?"

"That's what you want isn't it? For me to ignore you?"

He looked defeated and she had to fight back the urge to slap some spark back into him. This was supposed to be the attitude she wanted him to have.

"No, what I want is for you to leave not brood three floors beneath me. And what is it with brooding now anyway? Is there like a vampire contest I don't know about where the biggest frown and most impressive forehead crease gets an all expenses paid trip to Bluesville? "

Klaus cracked a smile and Caroline was happy about that because she knew that there was no way she could have convinced him of anything if he barely talked not because his depressed disposition concerned her. Right? Right.

He finally looked at her and the sadness in his eyes made her think of running, but then he brought his hand forth and carefully tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. It was such a sweet gesture it almost swallowed her into the memories of all the times he had acted just as gently. That had been the most difficult part to get over after she left, it was sometimes hard to remember that he was a monster when he acted so unlike one with her.

"You look good!"

"Klaus…"

"No, I mean it. Before you vanished… the light in your eyes, I didn't see it. That sun is there now, shining at everything you gaze at again."

He wasn't finished, she could see him looking past her for more words. It was like there was a question he didn't want to ask but was compelled to reveal anyway. She stayed quiet, waiting.

"Did I take it away?"

There was guilt in his tone. It almost made her lie, but he appreciated honesty. He hated it, but desired it too and lying to him never ended well for anyone. It was a lesson most learned the hard way.

"Yes."

The expression he wore then she had only seen once before, on the night he realized she had been distracting him and he could feel his family dying. The betrayal wasn't there this time, but the hurt matched and she couldn't quite understand why he had it now. Suddenly she needed to explain herself, just like those years back when she barely started to tolerate him at all.

"You might not have meant to, but you did. I love my friends Klaus. When my dad left mom they were the only people I had. I used to crash with Elena or Bonnie and they would stay awake with me half the night talking to me, to make me feel better. Matt kept the other jocks off my back for a month because he knew I couldn't deal with flirting like they were used to from me."

She hesitated, continuing would mean opening up to him even more and she wasn't sure that would be a good idea. But stupid bravery was always one of her better qualities.

"And you promised to leave them alone. I shouldn't have believed you, after all Elena carries the thing you value most, but I did. You said you wouldn't harm them, that you wouldn't spill their blood because you loved me. But you made sure that in five hundred years you would have a girl whose blood you didn't promise to not steal."

Caroline's gaze and heart hardened as she remembered why she ran from him, why she had to become so strong to protect herself. Klaus looked away.

"When you broke that promise I knew that I couldn't trust anything you had ever said to me. Maybe you didn't really care about me. Maybe you compelled me to love you. Maybe I was part of some plan in getting closer to my friends."

He swallowed down the remains of his drink and then threw the empty bottle past the bar's counter against the wall, glass shattered and at least half the alcohol, previously placed neatly in bottles side by side, met the floor. Someone screamed, but the other clientele just watched in frozen surprise. Caroline rolled her eyes, he was slowly turning it into a habit of hers. Klaus always was a master at getting attention.

The hybrid stood up walking towards the exit outwardly unconcerned. Just as he reached the door he paused and whispered loud enough for her vampire hearing to pick up.

"I'm sorry. Goodbye Caroline."

She should feel relief. She didn't, the only feeling running through her was fear. She might never see Klaus again and maybe that wasn't such a good thing after all.

O0o0O

I wish I had missed

The first time that we kissed

'Cause you broke all your promises

And now you're back you don't get to get me back

O0o0O

Caroline was pacing in her room like a caged lioness. Things were so simple a few days ago and then Klaus showed up and did what he never failed at. He muddled up her goals, her principles and ultimately complicated everything.

She really wished she had never met him. Wished he had never come to save her life, or much better, never endangered it in the first place. Wished she never found out he liked to paint and also that he had never started painting her. Wished she never fell in love with him. Wished she never kissed him.

"So you're letting him go? Just like that?"

"Yes love, he will no longer have to fight for free will until he's sick."

Caroline's eyes lit up like a sunny summer morning, warm and inspiring in its intensity. Klaus' own face relaxed as he watched her, something about her was even overshadowing the glint of anguish she knew his one good deed had created.

Tyler had been so close on his own, but the sire's bond was sneakier than anyone could have predicted and it only allowed freedom at the price of one's life. But she wouldn't have to worry about it anymore, Tyler would live and they could finally be together again.

Because the horrible, beautiful man standing in front of her was letting her go.

She didn't want the feelings he felt for her, they were too intense and coming from the one person least familiar with them. And she loved Tyler. And he was Klaus. And all of those rational reasons were slowly transforming into excuses.

Klaus wasn't generous, he wasn't selfless and he didn't help without evil intentions. Or he didn't used to, but… but he did for her.

Suddenly she needed to express her gratitude in some way.

And before her head caught up with her heart she had stepped closer to him, wrapped her arms around his neck and touched her lips to his. It was as if the world had stopped breathing and started to spin beneath their feet a million times faster. Colors bloomed and danced behind her closed eyelids. He groaned and pulled her even nearer, the kiss grew in passion and his hold on her tightened.

When they slowly pulled apart and her higher thought processes returned she could do nothing but stand speechless staring at him and wait for the world to right itself. It didn't.

That was the moment it really started. Until then he couldn't have taken an inch of her love, but then he let her go and she, like the stupid romantic she was, fell right into the trap.

And none of that should matter, because there was still one thing more important to him than her. His hybrid army.

She had been second best all her life. The second friend and the second lover, ultimately even the afterthought vampire. She loved people, but people still tended to forget about her. And a little piece of Caroline would never get past that even if the rest of her conquered it head on.

Caroline had always wanted love, she never wanted to be alone. And then she found another person who felt exactly the same way, she took a chance and even knowing it wouldn't end in a bed of roses she hadn't expected the ending to hurt quite as much as it did.

She shouldn't want to have Klaus back. And she didn't, but she missed him.

She looked towards the phone that was finally on and slowly picked it up. He was still on her contacts list, even at her most angry she had never deleted his number.

Caroline took a deep breath and pressed 'call'.

She got voice mail. She didn't hang up, this actually made things easier.

"Klaus? I…" She cursed her hesitation and went on. "I did love you, I mean I still do. More than I did Tyler and more than Matt. More than anyone. But I can't be with you when you don't keep your promises and I won't be with you if you plan to harm, in whatever form, one of my friends or their descendants. Why couldn't you let go of your unkillable army when you had me?"

A tear slipped past her eyelashes, the first one she had shed since the night after she left him.

"Goodbye Klaus!"

O0o0O

Who do you think you are?

O0o0O

She was reorganizing her new apartment in Paris when the doorbell rang. Curious, she opened the door, a boy physically maybe a year older than her (and mentally probably brainless from hormones) held a clipboard and a package obviously meant for her.

He smiled a fixed grin, that turned more naturally foolish when he saw her (knew it), and told her to sign before giving her the mail.

Just as soon as she was alone again she opened the package. She was afraid she knew who it was from, after all how many people were there that would send her something wrapped safely in the form of a tube? As expected, it was a painting.

She rolled it open and snorted. Who did he think he was? A magician that painted something and made it come alive by wishing?

Looked that way, because there she was, her blond hair in a pixie cut and her head resting against a man's shoulder, their fingers intertwined. Klaus always did do forward well.

She was putting the painting to the side when something dropped to the floor. It was a piece of paper, his handwriting as familiar today as it was fifteen years ago.

"How will you make sure I leave future Petrova's alone if you're not there to keep an eye on me?"

A smile rose on her face, Klaus was giving in. Caroline always knew that they wouldn't end well, but maybe, just maybe they wouldn't have to end at all.

Fanfic: Bitter Champagne (1/1)

2012-02-10T12:55:17Z

Title: Bitter Champagne
Rating: K
Author: terapsina
Fandom: The Vampire Diaries
Pairing: Elijah/Elena
Word Count: 445
Parts: 1/1
Summary:The liquid hits your taste buds and it's bitter. It tingles on your tongue and you find it revolting. You swallow a sip and it catches in your throat. Short story, concerning "Dangerous Liaisons".
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

‘♥’ Bitter Champagne ‘♥’

You have always loved champagne!

You love the way it tingles on your tongue and the way it soothes your throat when you swallow, you love the sweetness it carries. You don’t anymore.

You look him in the eye and you lie. He looks at you with trust and you smile back and break it.

The liquid hits your taste buds and it’s bitter. It tingles on your tongue and you find it revolting. You swallow a sip and it catches in your throat.

He swallows his and you want to cry, but everything is supposed to be perfect so you keep smiling. You are smiling and your cheeks hurt and he has just drunk poison.

You know he has always been linked with his family, you could always see it in him just like you saw it in yourself. But it isn’t supposed to be this way, a link of blood shouldn’t promise death.

You look up and there she stands her back straight and her righteous conviction so strong you can’t see the love she claimed to have. You hate her then, for what she has just made you part of and what she did herself.

He asks if you’re alright and you want to scream. You can’t so you don’t.

He tries to catch your eye so you excuse yourself and turn away, you don’t think you can ever look at him again. And when he finds out why, you know neither will he ever gaze at you in the same way as he does now.

You leave the ballroom and exit into the garden. You lean against the wall and slide down shaking all over. You don’t cry because you don’t deserve to.

You notice the glass still clenched in your hand. The rosy champagne is still bubbling and pretty, you have never hated a drink so much.

There is your blood there within, your blood that binds them, your blood that will kill them. Your thrice cursed blood is what will soon kill him. You’ve always known it, but never before has it been so clear. Your blood is poison.

The glass shatters on the gray pebbles and you don’t care. You can’t even move.

You protect what you care about. Whatever it takes, whatever must be sacrificed for that goal you will give.

But you don’t want his life to be the price. You can’t change it.

The champagne was bitter and soon so shall be he.

Fanfic: Sleeping Awake (5/?)

2012-02-04T15:27:16Z

Title: Sleeping Awake
Rating: NC-13
Author: terapsina
Fandom: The Vampire Diaries
Pairing: Elijah/Elena
Word Count: 1358
Parts: 5/?
Summary: After the sacrifice Elena shuts herself off from the outside world, but soon starts to have incredibly vivid dreams involving Elijah. Eventually he might become the one her heart dreamt about as well, if he wasn't just a figment of her imagination. Elejah
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

// #1 // #2 // #3 // #4 //

O0o0O Sleeping Awake O0o0O

O0o0O The Waltz of Flowers Dream O0o0O

It's been a while since she last saw him in her dreams, more than a month since she almost kissed him. That is probably the case, because she is so frightened of what her interrupted action might mean.

But now when she stands with her eyes closed, some soft melody and the pleasant fragrance of many burning candles encircling her senses she knows what awaits her. And she can't manage to produce the fear her waking self has worried over, she's missed him.

"Do you think you'll ever open your eyes Elena?"

His tone is amused and slightly delighted as if her slow drinking in of surroundings through the other senses is somehow sweet, she can't help the smile she feels blooming on her face. Is starting to notice that she never can, it's weird for someone who hasn't honestly smiled in months when actually awake.

"In a little bit. I like the music and it sounds familiar, what is that?"

He laughs and goose bumps rise on the back of her neck, the air is pleasantly warm so she can't blame anything other than Elijah. That laughter expresses such rich quality it somehow suddenly reminds her of glowing ambers and the warmth from a lit fireplace. Her eyelids flutter, but stay closed.

"It should, everyone must have seen Tchaikovsky's most famous ballet even just once."

This time his voice carries slight arrogance, that still somehow manages to be appealing. She curses the road her thoughts are traveling down now, everything about him is appealing… and subtly dangerous.

It almost distracts her from what he has said. But then the melody takes form and she recognizes the 'Waltz of Flowers', her mother's most favorite number from the Nutcracker. Elena knows it played on her mothers wedding, she still remembers sneaking down late at night to watch her parents twirling through the living room every year on their anniversary. For the first time it's not pain that comes forward, but fond remembrance. A tear still escapes. They loved each other so much.

And then a warm hand touches her cheek wiping the salt from her face. Elena's eyes open in surprise and connect with his, she feels as if something hits her in her lower stomach and rests there waiting. The feeling is new and she can't quite translate it yet, she isn't sure if she wants to.

"Thanks!" Her voice carries as barely a whisper, it's so weak.

"You're welcome."

He tips his head to the side as if considering something and Elena is afraid he's going to ask why she almost cried. She won't be able to answer she knows, the subject of her parents is still too raw for her even now, even with Elijah. He might have caught some of that from her expression, because he doesn't push her to say anything.

Instead he steps back and extends towards her the hand that a moment ago covered her teardrop and bows very slightly. His eyes don't leave her face.

"Would you like to dance my Lady Elena?"

She doesn't freeze, doesn't hesitate. She takes his hand curtsies, just like she was taught to and steps into his arms as if she belongs there. And wishes she could smother the inner voice that makes her consider it true.

"I would love to Lord Elijah." An expression passes over his face so quickly she doesn't catch it, but something about it seems noteworthy. She puts it at the back of her mind as food for later thought.

And only when they start to whirl across the room does she notice that they have been standing in a large ballroom and that the light is coming from a hundred white candles decorating the floor by its walls. The music is played by a quartet of faceless violinists and they are the only two people in there.

His hand rests against her back and as they expertly spin across the hardwood floor she fights the urge to look at him again. She is already lost in him deeply enough, she has no intention to explore just how much or to fall completely.

"This was my mother's favorite waltz."

She didn't mean to tell him this, but the words spill out and her heart doesn't shatter as she thought it would. Some weight lifts from her shoulders and Elijah just looks at her. He doesn't signal sympathy, he sends towards her an expression of something so much better. Understanding.

"It isn't bad that you miss them. I can tell you that you will never forget either of them."

And then he keeps silent, not saying anything else, just continuing to dance to the repeating rhythm of one-two-three.

"You won't tell me how it's going to get easier are you?"

She has listened to those words so often by now she no longer quite hears them. They've long since lost all meaning and she doesn't think she could take hearing them from him too.

"No it won't be easier or at least it won't be all the time. Things might get better however."

She chooses not to respond - at least not with words, instead she steps closer and rests her head against his shoulder changing the way they dance. She is far too close for a proper waltz now, instead the previously light atmosphere turns more intimate. She hears as he stops breathing and can't contain the slight smirk this brings forth in her. It's nice to know that she still has some power over him.

Of course with his body pressed against hers it makes it hard to ignore the fact he affects her just as much. He is strong, but warmer than she expected. This Original had always emanated such a complicated mix of cool detachment and warm care she could never quite decide how he would feel up close, - not that she ever thought about it, - but she never would have imagined just how good his body would mould against hers. It's utterly terrifying.

And it reminds her why she has spent the past month so scared. He isn't even real, Elijah isn't actually there with her. She is dancing with some sort of mutated memory of a person she barely knew and she can't understand why it's him of all men. She's not drowning her misery in Stefan, or Damon or even Matt, she even barely thinks about them here. It's like she constructed a world just for Elijah and her.

And none of it makes any sense.

What she should do is run away, ignore him entirely until he leaves or until the dreams stop. But she can't do that, she's barely alive in Mystic Falls now and Elijah makes her smile.

He got her to tell something personal about her mother and she can't normally even think about them without swallowing back depression by the side of anyone else. She needs him.

The melody is nearing the end and somehow she knows that the moment the violin plays the last notes she's going to wake up, so very slightly Elena pulls back and looks up at the man responsible for both the calming and the causing of her inner turmoil. She can't think of the right words to tell him just how grateful she is for his presence, imagined as it might be.

"Thank you!" It is nowhere near good enough, but she hopes her eyes express what her words can't. This time her words certainly contain so much more meaning.

"It was my pleasure."

And then Elijah does something unexpected, but also something she should have seen coming. He takes her hand, his gentle brown eyes not leaving hers and brings it to his mouth kissing her naked palm.

His lips barely meet her skin and even as her insides sing she curses Elijah for being such a gentleman.

Finally after an eternity of staring at him the music stops, Elijah vanishes and the only thing touching her are the sheets she fell asleep in.

O0o0O Further Dreams Coming O0o0O

Icons: Elijah and Elena

2012-01-20T10:52:00Z

In honor of Elijah's return!

Disclamier: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Made by: terapsina
Fandom: The Vampire Diaries
+ Elijah & Elena

Preview -

P.S. I noticed that for some GIMP deletes one line of pixels from any picture I scale down on the upper and left side of the photo. I have no idea why it does that, but I corrected this mistake in these icons and will at some point do it with all the previous ones too (it just takes a lot of boring effort so it might take me some time).

(Elijah & Elena)

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Icons: Caroline and Klaus

2012-01-16T11:19:40Z

O0o0O Klaroline O0o0O

(01-04)
(05-08)
(09-12)
(13-16)
(17-20)

Icons & Wallpaper: Bonnie and Damon

2012-01-12T12:43:20Z

(01-03)
(04-06)
(07-09)
(10-12)
(13-15)

(Bonnie & Damon) Wallpaper

(Click to enlarge) (1280x1024)

Icons: Vampire Diaries Couples

2011-12-28T11:51:12Z

Disclamier: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Made by: terapsina
Fandom: The Vampire Diaries
+ Elijah & Elena, Elena (01 - 12)
+ Katherine & Stefan (13 - 20)
+ Bonnie & Damon, Bonnie, Damon (21 - 32)
+ Tyler & Caroline (33 - 40)
+ Klaus & Caroline, Klaus (41 - 48)
+ Anna & Jeremy (49 - 56)
+ Stefan & Elena (57 - 60)
+ Stefan & Rebekah, Rebekah (61 - 68)

(Previews) -

Elijah/Elena, Elena

01 - 04
05 - 08
09 - 12

Katherine/Stefan

13 - 16
17 - 20

Bonnie/Damon, Bonnie, Damon

21 - 24
25 - 28
29 - 32

Tyler/Caroline

33 - 36
37 - 40

Klaus/Caroline, Klaus

41 - 44
45 - 48

Anna/Jeremy

49 - 52
53 - 56

Stefan/Elena

57 - 60

Stefan/Rebekah, Rebekah

61 - 64
65 - 68

Fanfic: Undeath of Him and Her (2/3)

2011-12-25T14:50:25Z

Title: Undeath of Him and Her
Rating: NC-13
Author: terapsina
Beta: Katrina (ff.net)
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Pairing/Characters: Spike/Buffy, Spike, Buffy, Dawn, Giles.
Word Count: 4398
Parts: 2/3
Summary: In 'Lies My Parents Told Me' Buffy reaches Robin and Spike sooner, but her sudden entrance leads to tragic consequences. Later she receives an unexpected dream that gives hope... if she is willing to give up her mortal life for his immortal one. Spuffy.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

( #1 )

o0O0o

Chapter 2: The Resurrection and the Turn

o0O0o

The instructions that assaulted her mind were clear and more factual than a sleeping mind can dream up, even if they didn't make much sense to her magically uneducated brain.

With surprising clarity, Buffy gained the concrete knowledge that her actions would stay invisible to the First. His interference caused the breach in destiny so no opportunity to stop what was meant would be given.

She saw the ingredients. A full moon clearly illuminated the night sky. The dust particles that had dropped to the floor. Spike's ash mixed together with clay and then painted on the floor to form a pentagram so that he would be connected to the ritual. The needed sacrifice of air, fire, water, earth and spirit taken from her body was given to the gods.

Then a final explosion of light and the voice of her lineage sent one final message.

'Red witch gave no sacrifice, so the gods chose and took it. If you will give yourself, we won't steal to balance the scales.'

o0O0o

Once Dawn had woken up she was ready for many things, she was not, however, prepared for the brilliant smile on her older sister's face.

Anger started to simmer in her chest, she couldn't believe that after one day, only a single night of sleep, Buffy could be over the death of Dawn's best friend and be fine enough to greet her with a smile. Wasn't it only yesterday that she had yelled her love for Spike out loud?

"Morning, Dawnie."

The only answer that deserved was the one Buffy got. A glare that coming from a witch would have sent her to someplace extremely unpleasant. From a mystical teenager, it portrayed very clearly exactly what she was at that moment feeling for her sister. To put it bluntly, Dawn was thinking that she really wished the monks hadn't made this Slayer into her blood relation.

"What?"

So there, that should make her feelings on Buffy's mood quite clear. And if it didn't, she had plenty other remarks left. At least this new development took her thoughts away from the part of her that was crying in grief and guilt. She still remembered the last words she spoke to the vampire who was for so many different reasons almost a brother. She would do anything to take them back now.

"Dawnie, I have to tell you something."

Of course she had to tell her something, there was always something Buffy had to tell her or order her, or forgive her. Sometimes she wondered if there was ever anything that had absolutely nothing to do with her. But no, the world revolved around her bigger sister.

"I don't want to hear it."

And she didn't. That chipper mood only meant one thing, Buffy had gotten something she wanted. Spike was gone - not like she seemed to care anymore - which meant this had something to do with Angel. If Buffy was about to tell her that Angel had become human and they were going to become one big happy family Dawn didn't care how she would manage it, but she would make sure that the threat she made to a vampire would transfer to the Slayer instead.

"I don't think that's true."

Dawn scoffed at that untruth, but otherwise completely ignored her. A moment later her own mood changed its tune and the hope that must have been singing in her sister's chest started its melody in her own as well.

"I know how to get Spike back."

o0O0o

"Here in this circle, I invoke fire. I wish to reignite the immortal life of the man my heart desires and so I sacrifice the warmth in my body to the Gods and Goddess above."

Buffy knelt in front of the blood red candle that was placed on the point between East and South. Recalling all the passion Spike never failed to awake in her, she leaned forward and kissed one side of the candle watching as it lit up in response. A moment later she felt it as the heat leaked from her veins leaving a powerful chill behind. She stood up and moved forward.

o0O0o

Forcing herself to step into the outhouse where Spike was killed was hard. The only thing stopping her from breaking into tiny pieces was the promise of getting him back and her need to stay strong for the sake of Dawn.

"So this is where…" Dawn didn't finish the sentence and Buffy felt nothing but grateful for it.

Hearing out loud that Spike was dusted wouldn't help with her resolve to stay outwardly impassive. She might have the means to correct the tragedy, she might even be working on the tools for it, but it didn't change the fact that right in that instance the world she was living in was missing someone who used to be the bane of her existence and was now one of the two most important people in it.

Quieting her thoughts Buffy leaned forward to hide her activities from any inquiring eyes and as silently as possible, with some satisfaction, broke the handle, before opening the door. It was even more horrifying than she remembered. The crosses littering across the walls, floors and even ceiling were bad enough, but the brown smears painting some of them were what made the scene complete. The strangled gasp of her sister directed her attention away and she carefully chose to keep it that way, Buffy really didn't want to imagine exactly what had happened in that room before she came into it yesterday.

"I want to kill him."

Dawn's voice had an edge to it she had never heard there before, but one she nonetheless recognized. It seemed that breaking and entering wasn't the only thing Spike had taught her. Despite the reaction that should have come forth, it wasn't horror her sister's words inspired, but a certain pang of pride and sadness that comes with a realization that your little sister is growing up. She wondered what it said about her that a death threat inspired this feeling, the social services would probably not approve.

"He's human, Dawn." The look of scorn sent her way, spoke clearer than words and Buffy was glad to see that some growing up was yet to come. "I know, but how about we leave the revenge to Spike?"

That changed the atmosphere greatly and the task ahead was no longer as daunting as it looked to be when they set out to do it. It didn't take them long to collect as much of the heap of ash as they could and wash away the rest. If they somehow accidentally broke every bottle of holy water around, well it's not like anyone important could blame them.

o0O0o

"Here in this circle, I invoke air. I wish to find the intertwined soul of the human and demon alike carried away by the winds of death and so I sacrifice my breath to the Gods and Goddess above."

Now, on the point between North and West, Buffy placed her face nearer to the yellow candle and, imagining both faces Spike wore, blew a bit of air as if trying to extinguish a light that didn't exist. Instead the candle caught fire and Buffy felt more air escaping her lungs, leaving her breathing shallower with each following exhale. Dizzily she stood up and continued the ritual.

o0O0o

Giles' didn't actually feel like an apology was necessary - after all, what he did was ultimately for the best - but after some thought he did decide that it might be something Buffy needed to hear to move past it. That was why he was politely knocking at the door of the house Faith had, with some hesitation, directed him to.

The door wasn't opened by the person he was hoping for, but Dawn probably deserved an explanation as well, even if he couldn't quite understand why she had so suddenly forgiven Spike all his transgressions.

"What do you want?"

The tone was sharper than Giles' was looking for, but perhaps he was expecting too much from what amounted to an angry teen. And by the look of things, she was certainly angry. If the rude words didn't give him a clue, then the guarded body posture and patented icy facade certainly did.

"I came to apolo…"

"Why?"

Giles was unused to being interrupted and it showed once he hastily took off his glasses. The little smile this act usually summoned was absent.

"Excuse me?"

He directed a puzzled frown at the teen and suppressed the urge to reprimand Dawn for her impolite behavior. It was becoming quite clear that his words would be unwelcome.

"Why do you want to apologize? Because you're sorry Spike's dead? You're sorry we feel betrayed by you? Sorry that you conspired to kill him? Exactly why do you want to apologize?"

Rupert Giles is a man of words, he is a keeper and finder of them, but right then he was rendered speechless. He carefully cleaned his glasses to regain his thoughts and only after putting them back on answered.

"I am truly sorry it was necessary to kill Spike and I regret the pain this caused you and Buffy, but…"

"Wrong answer."

And before he could stop her, Dawn slammed the door in his face and ignored all his attempts to summon her back. Five minutes later, with a much heavier heart, Giles left, for the first time seriously entertaining the possibility of having done the wrong thing.

o0O0o

"Here in this circle, I invoke water. I wish to awake from eternal slumber the man whose second life was ended too soon and so I sacrifice my blood to the Gods and Goddess above."

Finding herself between North and East in front of the object that in another moment would become the third source of light, Buffy leaned over it and forced herself to recall the moment when Robin thrust that piece of wood in Spike's back turning him to dust. At that memory it wasn't too hard to force herself to cry, but this time she didn't stop herself and only watched as a teardrop landed upon the blue candle. Like the ones before it suddenly lit up and Buffy felt herself grow weaker as if the blood running through her was gradually vanishing despite there not being any wounds that could bleed.

o0O0o

It was the day before the night of the full moon and both Buffy and Dawn were carefully painting the five star pentagram on the floor of the lower level of Spike's former crypt. They were using the clay previously mixed together with the dust from the vampire who, in different ways, had a hold over both of their hearts.

From the reading they had been doing they knew it was more about the thought not the precision involved that pointed towards a successful ritual, but they still did their best to make sure everything was as close to perfection as possible. After all, from the dealing they had so far had with Gods and other higher beings, they had been left with the impression that fickle pettiness was some part of their middle name. They had no intention to accidentally anger the powers they needed to use to get Spike back.

So far since the first night neither of them had cried anymore, it seemed pointless now that there was hope. But it looked like Dawn was heading towards losing that battle if her shaking shoulders were anything to go by.

Buffy dropped the sticky paintbrush and enveloped Dawn in a tight embrace only barely holding back her full strength. Crushing her sister wasn't part of the plan after all.

"It's alright. We'll get him back. Spike will be back in less than a day and you won't have anything to be sad about."

Unconsciously she started to rock back and forth with her sister lulling calm back into both of them. In the next five minutes they immersed themselves in the comfort that the motion of the hug gave them and cried from the unfairness of what had happened From fear of not being able to fix it to the relief of that powerful hope of everything ending as planned.

"What brought that on?"

The question came naturally once the tears dried and for once Buffy knew she was asking the right thing. Dawn needed to get it all out, maybe Spike's death came with at least one silver lining and had brought the sisters closer together.

"I'm afraid Spike won't forgive me. I haven't talked to him in months and the last thing I did say was horrible. I know I thought Spike did something unforgivable to you, but that isn't completely why I was so angry. He didn't leave just you, he left for Africa and didn't even say goodbye. Why didn't he say goodbye?"

By the end of her confession she was barely whispering, the voice of a child asking why she was left disappointed. Buffy wished she had an answer, but it wasn't her words Dawn needed and she knew it.

"I don't know, but you can ask him yourself later. And I'm sure Spike will forgive you, he already has. He's been missing you since he came back with his soul, I could see it every time he looked at you, Dawnie. You have nothing to worry about."

Buffy knew then that she needed something to cheer Dawn up or at least distract her from her sadder thoughts. And Buffy had been keeping one final surprise for a moment just like this.

"Dawn! You might like to know that you are kinda immortal."

o0O0o

"Here in this circle, I invoke earth. I wish to give back the unlife stolen from the mate of my being and so I sacrifice my life to the Gods and Goddess above."

More than halfway done, Buffy was slightly unsteady when she grabbed the forest green candle on the Southwest point of the pentagram. Finally gathering her concentration, she focused her thoughts on all the things she knew about Spike, everything that was important in his undead life.

Mentally she saw his glee when fighting, his unflinching ability to live in the moment, his love for her and Dawn, his rage when angered, his uncanny ability for insights, even his newly discovered determination to do good while still not denying his nature.

For the first time she allowed herself to admire it and so she barely noticed how the flame was dancing or how the darkness she had experienced twice already was beginning to envelop her mind. Still, Buffy knew that the ritual needed to be finished before she lost the last of the life within and so continued to the last represented element.

o0O0o

"You remember what you have to tell Spike, right?"

Buffy tried to force down the irritation she was feeling once the answer she got was the rolling of eyes. She was only half successful.

"Dawn, please."

"I remember, you made me recite it so many times I could probably tell it to him in my sleep."

She pushed away Buffy's hand once it tried to move some hair out of her face. Ruefully the older sister thought about how the closeness didn't last too long.

"Good."

She closed her eyes and, breathing deeply, with a long practiced expertise pushed past the fear of dying. After all, she had faced death on countless occasions, but this was only her second time of running towards it. Once she was ready, Buffy turned away from the only other person in the dark room with her and towards the place the ritual would be invoked in. It didn't look as impressive as she had expected, but then again magic never followed expectation well.

Instead of hesitating further, Buffy sat down and started to meditate, apparently she needed to be in tune with herself for the resurrection ritual to work.

o0O0o

"Here in this circle, I invoke spirit. I wish to guide the way for the vampire who has the ability to love selflessly back from beyond the veil and so I… sacrifice my soul to the Gods and Goddess above."

Knowing that the ritual was almost over, Buffy sat down at the last point of the pentagram facing North. Leaning forward, she touched the final white candle with her forehead and gave the impression of praying.

She closed her eyes and looked inwards, letting her senses guide her, she knew the signature she associated with Spike. Buffy had always been able to sense vampires, but it was the demon carried within William the Bloody that the Slayer could recognize from the greatest distance, even when it was mixing with other non-human entities.

One moment there was nothing, just blackness and silence. But then he was there, the familiar tingle ran down her spine and she used the exhilaration of that feeling to call him to her. She didn't need a voice or even her own body to send the message it seemed, because she could feel him nearing. Then finally, something dropped to the floor behind her in the physical realm and faintly she felt herself laying down, barely breathing and with very little blood left in her system.

The body that had just fallen three feet to the ground wasn't very happy with the sight that greeted him there.

o0O0o

Spike knelt in front of the bleeding form of Robin Wood and licked the last traces of the human's blood from his lips. Now that the minimal payment his demon had demanded for the arranged surprise attack was taken, Spike was prepared to leave the principal alive if not quite well.

"I killed your mum, so I'll let you live… this time. But if you attack me again…" he left the threat hanging.

Angelus had taught him well the lesson of a promise of torture and the much worse alternatives a terrified mind would cast around itself. After all, the truth is never as emotionally amputating as imagination.

Spike was just about ready to stand up and take back his leather coat when the door banged open and he looked towards the Slayer standing in the doorway. Something sharp struck his back and drove towards his heart, his eyes captured those belonging to Buffy and he sent her a look of betrayal a moment before noticing her wide fearful gaze and cursed his own assumption. Then everything turned inky black.

o0O0o

He didn't know how long a time had passed before thought again entered his foggy mind, but it did seem to be a while. Everything around him was in complete darkness and he didn't feel as if he still had a body. It might have otherwise been the strangest sensation ever, but he still very clearly remembered that hippie he had eaten and that feeling there was still slightly more unsettling in nature.

Nothing around him moved and he seemed to be stuck in place by some unknown power. But as boring as the silence was, it didn't feel like hell and he was pretty sure he was dead so that was unexpected.

"I shoulda' offed the stupid Wanker. Killed two Slayers, helped a third one and I'm done in by the second one's toddler? I bet the Whelp's gonna laugh about this for years."

He allowed his thoughts time to drift away, not wanting to imagine how relieved Buffy might be that someone had finally staked him. Or how his Nibblet might be taking pleasure in knowing he wouldn't be near them anymore. He didn't miss the rest of them though, hadn't ever liked them that much anyway. After all, he'd always thought the Scoobie add-ons were the best of the bunch.

His mental conversation was interrupted by a sudden feeling of something familiar approaching. It gave off the mental feel of the scent of sunshine and vanilla, and the color of golden locks and emerald eyes. Buffy!

Now, if he could figure out a welcome cause for why she was suddenly there, then everything would be alright. Because the only reason he could currently think of was that she was as dead as him, and that was wholly unacceptable.

The sense of Buffy started to move further away calling him with her and he desperately tried to keep it near, unsurprisingly he wasn't able to do that. But he found himself moving so he started to follow the soul of the woman he loved. They trailed towards a buildup of some kind of energy and it was getting harder to keep up with his guiding light, but he wasn't known for giving up that easily and so pushed against the resistance until he was struck by the full power of the energy around him.

Suddenly within a body again, Spike fell.

o0O0o

He hit the ground hard. Disorientated, his eyes looked for something to hold them and somewhere at the back of his mind noticed that he was laying on his back in his former crypt. A sound nearby grabbed his attention and he was met by the most awful sight since his last big fall, a blue in the face Buffy was down beside him on her own back heaving for air and obviously failing to gather any. He choked horrifically and crawled closer.

Spike was struck by the fabric of a blanket and growling protectively looked at the person who had thrown it. Dawn was standing three steps behind him, shaking and pointedly looking towards the ceiling with a bright shade of pink coloring her cheeks. Finally, noticing his undressed state, he folded the blanket around his hips and finally reached Buffy before grinding out an angry question he was afraid he knew the answer to. The pentagram they were laying in was very telling.

"What did you two do?"

"Do you want to hear answers now or maybe wait until after you save my sister?"

Dawn hadn't meant to sound so harsh, but she couldn't shake the complicated web of feelings that had slowly culminated in the past months off in just a moment entirely.

He could see that Buffy was getting weaker by the moment so didn't reply the way he would have otherwise, instead his only question was the obvious one.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Turn her!"

"What?"

He hadn't been expecting that, people better left unmentioned might be surprised to know that he had never wanted to do that to his Slayer, not even when she was just the girl he wanted to kill. Being turned into a vampire was something no Slayer wanted and Spike had always understood and respected that. The fact that Dawn would even suggest it to him now was unbelievable.

"If you don't turn her she'll die."

"Buffy would never want to…"

"She knew this would happen, you have to turn her before it's too late."

He looked deeply into the blue eyes of his Little Niblet and tried to read everything she was refusing to say out loud. The eyes looked back with the stubbornness he knew she had learned from the Slayer, so he gave up any doubts he carried and turned back towards the deceptively fragile woman who had ruthlessly entrapped his heart.

He was surprised to see she was still conscious and looking at him in wonder. He managed a smile before leaning forward to lightly touch her face, her skin was just as smooth as he remembered it being, but already it was losing the warmth he associated with her. He needed to know that Buffy really wanted to turn into a being she had relentlessly hunted and killed for eight years. And even if she never spoke her answer out loud, he needed to get it from her. He had always been able to read truth in her eyes. Everything else had frequently lied, but Buffy's eyes had always betrayed her.

"Are you sure?"

Buffy managed to send one last look towards him before her eyes finally closed from exhaustion. It was all he needed to see. Spike let the demon in him gain control and quickly placed his lips against her bare neck. After gently slipping his fangs through her skin and into her vein, the vampire swallowed his first taste of her.

The blood was charged with the most potent power he had ever tasted in his undead life. Even the Chinese Slayer hadn't been this intoxicating and for a moment the pleasure the red liquid was sending through his body almost made him forget the task he was about to commit. But he heard her heart slowing rapidly and extracted his fangs from her neck. He didn't need more then a few sips to start the siring bond anyway.

A second later he was biting into his own wrist and placing it upon her lips. Massaging her throat, he urged her to swallow and silently begged her to fight back against the darkness he knew was quickly enveloping her being. Spike breathed out a sigh of relief once he felt the muscles in her throat constricting against his uninjured palm, she was swallowing more and more blood from his open wrist and he had no intention of stopping her until she couldn't drink anymore. Buffy may have decided to become a vampire, but Spike's soul and demon were in complete agreement over whether to make her a Childe or not. She was far too important to be lowered to the station of a minion.

Finally he heard Buffy's heart stop for the last time so he moved his hand away from her mouth and cleaned off the blood smearing her beautiful face. After he was done making her look as if she was only asleep - and not dead for the next two or three days - he wiped off the tears that had been running down his face since he first saw Buffy lying on the cold floor of the crypt. His task as a Sire done, he turned around to face Dawn.

"I would like to hear an explanation now. Would you care to tell me why I'm not dead and am now forever responsible for your sister never seeing sunlight again?"

o0O0o

A/N: And I can finally publish this chapter, you have no idea how sorry I am for the delay.
A/N2: This has been recently edited by Katrina. I think she did a very nice job correcting my mistakes.

Christmas fic: Beauty and the Beast (1/1)

2011-12-24T05:21:45Z

Title: Beauty and the Beast
Rating: NC-13
Author: terapsina
Fandom: The Vampire Diaries
Pairing: Damon/Bonnie
Warnings: Again, Christmas approved fluff.
Genre: Romance, Humor.
Word Count: 2014
Parts: 1/1
Summary: Bonnie wants to spend her Christmas by watching her favorite Disney classic with her boyfriend, the reason being because Damon has never seen it. She might yet regret it. Bamon
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

O0o0O Beauty and the Beast O0o0O

(…) 0.00.00 (…)

"Why do we have to watch a children's cartoon on Christmas, I bet there are other… more pleasant activities we could enjoy instead."

"It's not a cartoon Damon. And we are going to watch it because I loved it when I was little and I can't believe you haven't ever seen it."

"I'm a hundred and seventy eight years old and you think I spent that time on Disney?"

"You can be a thousand for all I care because you are still going to sit here and watch the Beauty and the Beast with me or I will never have sex with you again."

"You wouldn't."

"Oh I would."

"Shhh… look at that, the credits are starting."

"…"

"Stop grinning, you know you're probably going to regret this."

"Maybe, but it'll be so worth it. Imagine all the stories I'll be able to tell Caroline about this."

"You're evil."

(…) 0:00:58 (…)

"A spoiled prince I wouldn't have guessed, you do know there aren't any other kind right?"

(…) 0:01:07 (…)

"She's a witch isn't she? I wonder if you are relate… ouch dammit Bonnie."

"You deserved that."

"No, I don't think I did. And I knew it. Hah he's so dead do you have any idea how petty and vengeful witches can… well obviously not all witches, there are nice… lets just watch alright?"

"Smart boy."

"No, not at all petty."

"What was that?"

"Nothing, I didn't say anything."

"Good."

(…) 0:03:24 (…)

"She thinks her town is full of little people? My kind of girl."

"That's not how she meant it and you know it. You just want to impose your muddled views on people as meals onto everyone else."

"No, no don't be gentle say what's on your mind."

"As if that injured puppy look would bespell me. If you want that blatant manipulation to work on a girlfriend go find Elena."

"Mmmm, you smell nice. If only you could learn that I don't want Elena."

"I know. Now stop trying to distract me and watch the movie, it's barely started and you're already trying to charm yourself out of here."

(…) 0:06:00 (…)

"A book obsessed goody two shoes, I think I see why you like her Judgy."

"No regard for the sanctity of life, obsessed with his looks and following around a pretty girl because of how she looks. Maybe you're more like Gaston than I thought."

"..."

"I'm sorry I didn't mean that like it sounded."

"It's fine."

(…) 0:06:45 (…)

"I'm nothing like Gaston."

"…"

"Anymore. I'm nothing like Gaston anymore."

"Closer."

(…) 0:11:25 (…)

"He's alone, lost in the forest and there are creepy shortcuts. Don't tell me the papa's gonna meet his painful and horrific end soon."

"It's a children's movie, he isn't going to die."

"But something bad is about to happen."

"I won't argue with that."

"And I thought you argued about everything."

"Do you want another migraine?"

"…"

"Didn't think so."

(…) 0:12:50 (…)

"Wolves, pathetic little creatures."

"Don't let Caroline hear you say that."

"Have you met me?"

"Oh I apologize, what was I even thinking? You said something similar to that polite thought only yesterday."

"Exactly."

"Don't look so smug about it, I heard she was planning to retaliate rather spectacularly."

(…) 0:15:30 (…)

"You know who that doggy chair reminds me of?"

"Don't."

"It's almost as if…"

"Don't."

"You sure? Because…"

"Just don't."

"Cough, cough Jeremy cough."

"I said don't."

(…) 0:16:20 (…)

"Well he's in a bad mood. I wonder who bit off his paw."

"Would you give it a rest already? Tyler apologized."

"Not to me."

"Have you met you?"

(…) 0:17:14 (…)

"Please tell me he didn't arrange a wedding without asking first."

"…"

"He's an idiot."

"And your not?"

"I have never done something that stupid."

"You tricked me into a date with you by telling me that my father was in danger."

"You wouldn't have gone out with me otherwise and it's still not as demented as what this Gastron fellow is doing."

"That's debatable."

(…) 0:18:59 (…)

"You know Damon. He still rather reminds me of you, he has a pig on his head you're a pig. See the resemblance?"

"Ha ha."

(…) 0:21:56 (…)

"I'm starting to enjoy this. It would be just like you to go to a cursed castle to save someone only to be roped into breaking the spell by stalker furniture."

"You're enjoying this too much."

"I thought that was the point in making me watch it Bonnie."

(…) 0:23:13 (…)

"That's eerie."

"What now?"

"Nothing, nothing. It's just this Belle is almost as stupidly self sacrificing as you."

"I thought you liked that about me."

"I really don't."

"Don't be rude."

"I'm not being rude, you just fail to notice how really not okay I am with your constant efforts of putting yourself in danger."

"I can't believe it. Damon Salvatore just said something sweet."

"Don't get used to it."

(…) 0:25:30 (…)

"Wow, he really doesn't know how to talk to girls."

"He's not that bad."

"Are we watching the same cartoon?"

"It's not a cartoon."

"If you say so. Looks like a cartoon to me."

(…) 0:28:20 (…)

"He should really tone down that narcissism of his."

"…"

"Don't raise your eyebrows, I'm nowhere near as bad as that."

"…"

(…) 0:34:18 (…)

"You know the Beast is growing on me, I like his style."

"You would."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh nothing."

"Are you implying I have trouble controlling my temper?"

"Would I do that?"

"Yes!"

(…) 0:35:07 (…)

"If that was you, you would stay in that room forever."

"You think so?"

"Most definitely. Except you might spend it by trying to make a rope from sheets and escape through the window."

"You think so little of me? I would blast a hole in the wall and walk out, I do have some dignity."

"How double-crossing of you."

"Thank you."

(…) 0:36:02 (…)

"Erm, you do know I see you as more than a monster now don't you?"

"I think I got the message by the point where you kissed me."

"Remind me again, I think I'm starting to forget… mnnn nice."

(…) 0:42:37 (…)

"Is she flirting with a clock?"

"A little."

"Well I suppose that's one way to get information. You should try that sometime."

"Really? I did hear Matt was keeping some kind of secret recently…"

"Don't you dare, that boy is in love with you. If you go anywhere near him I'm going to…"

"…"

"Erm, what I meant was that you can talk to anyone you want because I don't own you and you would set me on fire if I ever implied otherwise?"

"Precisely!"

(…) 0:43:53 (…)

"Books distracted her? There might be something wrong with that girl."

"Damon, I'm well aware that you're a book buff. All this talking down of her interests is very see through."

"…"

"Don't pout."

(…) 0:44:06 (…)

"She might be sneakier than I gave her credit for."

(…) 0:45:44 (…)

"Don't you think it's sad how he wouldn't let her near his… enchanted rose?"

"He had to protect it, it had lost enough flower petals."

"But he'll change his mind eventually, won't he?"

"He already has Bonnie."

"We're not talking about the Beast are we?"

"No."

(…) 00:48:32 (…)

"Belle really is just like you, you know?"

"In what way?"

"You didn't let me die either."

"Which time? I seem to be in the habit of saving your life."

"Don't feed your ego."

"Excuse me, did I overhear you right? Were you just talking about my ego?"

(…) 0:49:07 (…)

"Does that remind you of someone?"

"No. We don't sound anything like that."

"Are you sure, because I coulda' sworn…"

"YES!"

"Well if you're sure."

"Do not start smirking and if you tell Alaric that we act like the Beauty and the Beast, I'm going to…"

"Relax, do you really think I'm ever telling my best friend about this night? As far as he will ever know we had passionate, feral sex the whole night and I still won't know the Beauty's name."

"Keep it that way."

"Do you think that after we're done watching this we could…"

"If you haven't ignited my temper by then."

"But Bonnie we do our best…"

"Shut up!"

(…) 0:53:35 (…)

"Will you look at that? His eating manners are as atrocious as yours."

"You only say that because of my food group."

"True."

(…) 0:56:59 (…)

"We could skip this part."

"Why it's not like I want to be human again. It's a song number not a sharply worded insult."

"I could insult you if you would like that better."

"You need an excuse for that?"

"Not really, but it would be nice to have one."

(…) 1:02:57 (…)

"Okay, so maybe we are a little like them."

"It's the fighting isn't it?"

"No, it's the mutually agreed upon dislike that changed because of saving each others life."

"I never disliked you, where did you get that idea from?"

"You almost draining me might be a clue."

"To be fair I thought you were Emily at the time. And I didn't hate you, your morals annoyed me and it was fun getting you angry."

"That makes me feel so much better."

"It wasn't supposed to."

"Of course not. And besides we are friends now."

"The fact that I know how you look naked and smell after sex suggests we're a little bit more than just friends."

"The fact that you just said that is making me rethink it."

"No it's not. You love it when I talk dirty."

"That was dirty? You can do better."

(…) 1:06:23 (…)

"I can't believe he just let her go. He'll never see her again."

"It's a Disney movie Damon, a happy ending is a given."

"Still shouldn't have let her go, although I suppose you can't keep a bird in a cage. What am I saying that girl is nothing like a bird, you Bon Bon on the other hand have that air about you. There's an idea, I might just have to start calling you my Little Bird."

"I'd rather you didn't."

"Are you blushing?"

"No."

"You are, Bonnie Bennett's blushing."

(…) 1:07:19 (…)

"That's what I said. The clock understands."

(…) 1:10:28 (…)

"Tell me she's not about to… she did. That's just cold."

(…) 1:10:56 (…)

"And suddenly Gaston reminds me of my father."

"He couldn't have been that bad."

"He was worse. All those people with pitchforks would gut their own children if he had told them they're possessed."

(…) 1:14:42 (…)

"Do you know who that doggy chair still reminds me of?"

"Don't."

"Are you sure it's really good."

"Don't."

"Cough, cough Jeremy cough."

"Oh for the love of… Jeremy isn't my puppy."

"You said it not me."

(…) 1:18:51 (…)

"Don't be an idiot, just let him go so he falls to his death. He'll stab you in the back if you show any mercy."

"You're really getting into this aren't you?"

"Hey it's your favorite movie, as if you can cast any stones."

(…) 1:19:27 (…)

"Told you. Now you'll die, shoulda' killed him when you had the chance."

"Disney Damon."

"Yeah, yeah. Oh look the bastard got what was coming to him."

(…) 1:20:08 (…)

"Just kiss him already."

"Are you crying?"

"No it's just a movie, why would I cry over a scene in a movie."

"You are. You're such a girl Damon."

(…) 1:22:45 (…)

"I liked him better as the monster."

"Everyone likes him better as the Beast."

(…) 1:23:56 (…)

"And they lived happily ever after. The most cliché end ever."

"It's sweet too."

"Yeah, but that's not how the real world works. The Beast never gets the girl here."

"You got me."

"But I'm not brainless enough to think I'll get to keep you."

"Always the pessimist, our story's not over yet. The end isn't written in stone."

O0o0O The End O0o0O

Christmas fic: Think of me as... (1/1)

2011-12-22T02:40:33Z

Title: Think of me as...
Rating: NC-13
Author: terapsina
Fandom: The Vampire Diaries
Pairing: Jeremy/Anna
Warnings: Christmas approved fluff.
Word Count: 1102
Parts: 1/1
Summary: Jeremy is getting ready the holiday surprise for his sister when he is greeted by a Christmas spirit, the ghost he thought he would never see again. One-shot. Janna
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

O0o0O

O0o0O Think of me as… O0o0O

O0o0O

This Christmas didn't promise to be one of his happiest, there was only him and Elena left and even though his sister could have spent it at the Salvatore manor Jeremy didn't have the heart to go there only to sit in a room where half of his friends weren't talking to him and the other half tried to make him apologize for the thousandth time as if that would somehow fix everything. And Elena wouldn't let him spend the holiday night alone so they would be all by themselves for the first time ever on the Christmas Eve.

But that would be hours from now, it was still the middle of the day and he was alone in a house that was meant for a whole family, not the sad remains of one. He still remembered the days from his childhood when on mornings like these their mother quickly left the house with Jenna leaving the siblings with their father and escape the only day of the year where he touched the oven. And then they baked ginger snaps.

It was their tradition, he had made them with his sister every year for as long as he could remember except for the last one. This year it would be a surprise, if Elena was forcing herself to have a lonely Christmas with him the least he could do is remind her of the happier ones in the past.

That's why he was wearing an apron and putting their old cookie cutters to good use. He was using the one in the form of a star when he felt something behind him. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up and he stopped for a moment trying to decide if the feeling of someone watching him was just in his head. But he lived in a town with too many vampires and even if the Klaus debacle was behind them now it didn't mean he shouldn't be on his guard. He slowly reached for the knife that should be shielded from the eyes of anyone standing behind him and quickly turned around bringing the sharp object up to greet any hit that might have come his way. Such a strike didn't come, but he wasn't alone and the sight of the person greeting him with a smile made him lose his breath.

"Anna?" He had thought he would never see her again, had almost resigned himself to it despite how much he didn't want it to be true. And here she was, exactly as he remembered except even more real. He dropped the knife, there wasn't a situation where he could imagine using it on her. "What are you doing here? I thought you were gone, to the other side I mean."

"I was. Think of me as your Christmas Spirit." She was standing looking at him with that little smile that broadcast so much mischief he couldn't help the laugh that escaped him. It sounded like relief.

"So what, are you staying?" He reached forward towards her face, hesitating to touch her. He was so afraid she would feel as nothing more than air to his fingers.

"Until midnight I'm yours." She reached for his hand herself and stepped forward into his enveloping arms, standing up on her toes Anna leaned even closer and kissed him with so much yearning it was as if she hadn't done so for eternity. It felt as if she hadn't.

A minute passed by, two, maybe ten before they parted for breath. He didn't let her go, he was afraid if he did she would disappear and he would wake up from yet another dream.

"So are you the ghost of Christmas past or my Cinderella?" He didn't want to think about her leaving, but if he couldn't help it he could at least paint it lightly. If he could only have her for this one day he wouldn't spend it fearing each passing second.

"Well I'm not planning on losing any of my shoes, but I suppose you can think of me as both." Anna leaned in to steal one more little kiss and then turned around towards the working of his surprise for Elena taking in the mess of flour and haphazardly dropped ingredients. He had not known how hard it would be to bake alone without help. "So do you need any assistance with that?"

The next hour was more playful than he could ever remember being with her, but losing Anna twice had shown him how every moment counts and he no longer cared if he acted silly by her side. After they finished and put the last ginger snap in the oven to bake they dropped to the floor in exhaustion, their fingers interlocking out of some kind of forgotten reflex.

He looked at her and a smile passed on his face, her left cheek was white from flour and some dough was caught in her hair sticking a strand together. He didn't think her remembered her ever looking more beautiful. The exhaustion fled the more powerful need.

Their lips touching had become so natural he didn't have to think about it, but the frenzy that followed took even him by surprise. They barely stumbled to his bedroom and almost passed by the bed. His mind was hazy and lighting up with pleasure like the candles in a Christmas tree, their movement's familiar and wrenching in their intensity.

After they were finished they just lay in his sheets, her head on his chest and his finger running soothingly through her dark tresses. He remembers doing this once before, after the first time they had sex and it calmed him then too.

He suddenly remembered she would be gone in less than ten hours. He would never see Anna again and the tears he had been holding back suddenly refused to obey any longer.

"I wish you could stay." She moved a little, turning around and sitting up using the blanket to cover her chest. She looked at him and very slowly a brilliant smile formed across her face bringing life to her eyes.

"I hoped you would say that." Letting go of the blanket she took his hand and placed it on her chest right above her heart. He felt it beating beneath the skin of his palm. "Jeremy, think of me as your Christmas miracle."

He lost all ability to speak then and before he completely comprehended exactly what it was she was saying there came a scream from downstairs.

"Jeremy! Why is the kitchen on fire?"

O0o0O The End O0o0O

Lost Girl Icons: Kenzi & Hale

2011-12-19T10:20:40Z

O0o0O

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O0o0O

End of the World (1/1)

2011-12-19T09:15:47Z

Title: End of the World
Rating: NC-13
Author: terapsina
Fandom: Lost Girl
Pairing/Characters: Kenzi/Hale, Hale, Bo.
Word Count: 795
Parts: 1/1
Summary: Spoilers for 'Barometz. Trick. Pressure.' Hale learns about Kenzi's planned trip with Nate and is struck by how very not happy this makes him feel. Kenzi/Hale
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

O0o0O End of the World O0o0O

Since Bo and Kenzi came into Hale's life his days had certainly become more interesting. For one thing he had against his will been dragged into the personal life of his best friend far more deeply than he was entirely comfortable with, for another he was constantly talked into doing things he would really rather avoid at all costs – joining the competition to win the position of Ash being the least of them. And despite that he was sort of glad to have met them.

As he sat wiping his still bleeding nose - a goodbye present from inhaling that wonderful sheep-plant, - and listening to the impromptu war council Bo and Trick the Blood King had going on he suddenly noticed the lack of snippy comments that would lighten the tension. Kenzi wasn't present. Kenzi always went wherever Bo decided to and yet during something this critical the succubus was without her human shadow.

The missing Kenzi kept him distracted until the very end. Other than the fact that Lachlan was apparently not as evil as suspected, the rather nice thought of the end of the world and in conclusion Bo being the messiah that might save the Fae he had no idea what everyone was talking about.

Once everyone started to head home to bite their nails in privacy Hale sent Dyson along and stayed back for a quick chat to find out exactly what was going on.

"Hey Bo. You and Kenzi had a fight or something?" He didn't actually think that was the case, if those two ever got into a fight big enough to avoid each other he was pretty sure fae on the other side of the Earth would know about it. But that was as good a way as any to find out where exactly his kinda' human friend had disappeared to.

"What? No, why would you ask that?" That was actually a pretty good question and unfortunately Hale would like to know that answer as well. He had no idea why Kenzi's absence was bugging him so much.

"Well she's not here so…" Smooth, like Bo wouldn't read too much into that open ended sentence.

"Oh, no she's getting ready to join Nate in his tour. And it might be best right now, she could use the vacation not to mention it would be safer for her if she wasn't here during this whole mess." Suddenly everything became so clear Hale almost choked. Kenzi was going somewhere with the guitar playing Nate… alone… by themselves. And apparently Hale was bothered by this, if he consulted his fastening heartbeat and clenched fists they might say that he was bothered quite a lot. He was in so much trouble.

"You're letting her leave?" The words escaped him before he could figure out how they sounded and take them back.

"She's not my slave Hale." He knew that, Kenzi was so far above being an object that could be owned and sold - by him or anyone else, - that she practically reached a category of her own. And the fact that Bo even thought he was talking about the racist beliefs of most of his kind was kind of insulting.

"That's not what I meant. I just thought…" And that's where he lost his words. He's a talker, he tends to speak so fast he can get out of almost any situation his whistling won't help him with, but right then he didn't know how to finish that sentence. He thought Kenzi would never decide to leave? He thought Bo would have tried to stop her? He thought Nate wasn't a serious threat? How could he when he only just now figured out there was a reason to be threatened by the stupid human at all?

"Oh my God. You like…" And of course the cursed succubus sense had kicked in revealing everything he had no intention of letting out. He needed to leave before a bigger disaster than the one already around him could happen.

"Oh wow, look at the time I'm late for… a date. Goodbye Bo." Ten minutes ago that would have been a lie, right now he was heading towards a bar to get drunk and hopefully drown his very unwelcome feelings in a pretty girl with completely unremarkable hair that wouldn't have a chance to remind him of pink, blonde or black silk.

Hale didn't fall for girls, he fell in bed with them, but he never ever fell in love with them. If his family saw his quickly retreating figure right then they would think it was the end of the world.

Ironically enough to Hale's way of thinking it actually might be.

O0o0O The End O0o0O

Sleeping Awake (4/?)

2011-12-18T00:26:37Z

Title: Sleeping Awake
Rating: NC-13
Author: terapsina
Fandom: The Vampire Diaries
Pairing: Elijah/Elena
Word Count: 1644
Parts: 4/?
Summary: After the sacrifice Elena shuts herself off from the outside world, but soon starts to have incredibly vivid dreams involving Elijah. Eventually he might become the one her heart dreamt about as well, if he wasn't just a figment of her imagination. Elejah
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

// #1 // #2 // #3 //

O0o0O Sleeping Awake O0o0O

O0o0O The Stuck in a Tree Dream O0o0O

When she opens her eyes she is ready for a lot, she is not however ready for the position she has awakened asleep in. A little sound escapes her throat and it can only be described as a squeak, if she wasn't so startled she might have felt embarrassed about it. But she is laying on her stomach in an old oak with her arms and legs encircling one of its branches and so embarrassment could not be further from her thoughts.

For a moment all Elena can do is stay frozen in slight fright and somewhere at the back of her mind note that twenty feet look a great deal higher from above. She isn't afraid of heights, but that is easier to remember when one is standing on firm ground looking over the edge of a cliff not when the only thing stopping a painful fall is the strength of a tree, the hope that no bugs have chipped away its integrity and in her case whether or not her subconscious feels generous on this particular night.

She closes her eyes and slowly inhales to slow down her imagined heartbeat, panicking wont assist her with getting down. She is almost calm when the sound of honeyed laughter reaches her ears from somewhere below and her heart quickens again this time for an entirely different reason.

She forces her eyes open, looks down and notices Elijah laying in the slowly swaying grass directly under her. He is sleeping on his back looking up at her while his eyes are alight with enjoyment over her unfortunate situation, a strand of hair falls across his face covering his left brow. She isn't sure she has ever seen something so hypnotizing before.

"Shut up." Coming out of the slight trance the glare she produces comes so easily it is almost eerie, but the bite the words require lack strength and her lips twitch at the humor her position would deserve if it was someone else stranded in her place. There is however no way she will admit that to him.

"My lovely Elena is there anything you require my help for?" She wishes she could ignore the pleasant tremble running down her spine when he calls her his, she isn't his though and the thought shouldn't make her feel so intensely enraptured. Besides he might have stopped laughing, but there is definitely a wicked glint still decorating his face and making him aware of her growing attraction, the one that truthfully had started long before these dreams came would only encourage him. She wouldn't appreciate it at all.

"No, of course not." Never before has sarcasm been so blatantly obvious, it serves to hide her thoughts well.

"That's good, I am rather comfortable here." She grinds her teeth and wonders at the exasperation his words have produced. She is too stubborn to ask for his assistance and instead she slowly and carefully moves to a sitting position, the branch creaks protesting her motion with a threat. Maybe stubbornness isn't the smartest option at that moment.

"Just get me down Elijah." It's more of a command than a plea, but Elijah still stands up and moves towards the base of the oak leaving the sight of her vision. Suddenly Elena hears him hiss in pain and the worry she suddenly feels is so unexpected it chases all other thoughts from her mind.

"Elijah? Are you alright?" He doesn't answer immediately and she bites into her lip to ward off the concern.

"It looks like we have a problem Elena." He steps back and she sees him looking at his palm, it is burned red and shows no signs of the rapid healing of an ordinary vampire let alone an Original. "The tree looks to be covered in vervain."

Elena knows what that means, she will have to climb down on her own. It's her dream and still it doesn't allow things to be easy. Of course not, that would count as fair.

"Fine. I'm not going to be able to see everything so tell me if it looks like a branch is ready to break." She doesn't have to look down to know that Elijah is watching her like a hawk, but she does anyway because looking into his eyes has always brought a certain taste of safety. This time is no different he is looking at her and she can read his promise so clearly he doesn't have to say anything. He won't let her fall.

Logically Elena knows that hitting the ground won't kill her, it won't even break anything. But these dreams are unusually clear and technically she wasn't supposed to feel strangled by her dress in one of the previous dreams either. Pain might actually be real.

She starts moving backwards toward the trunk of the tree, its bark is uncomfortably rubbing against her bare inner thighs and she curses the red shorts that barely just cover more than a miniskirt would. The attire promises the painful bruises she is glad she won't actually have to live with.

Looking behind her she quickly takes notice of a lower branch she can use to lean her weight on before she has to turn around to face the body of the tree.

"Careful Elena,-" she stops moving and sends him down a questioning look he seems to translate effortlessly. "-the branch you're about to steady your left leg against is half broken already."

She looks behind her and this time sees what she missed in her previous quick look, there is a leaf partially covering a crack that almost certainly would have broken if Elijah hadn't given the warning. The leaf in question is suddenly caught by a breeze and then drops, without conscious control her eyes follow it as it slowly drifts lower on the invisible drift of wind. She swallows at just how long it takes before the reddish oak leaf touches the ground.

"Elijah? Why didn't you just compell me, why did you offer me a deal you could have made me obey?" She needs him to take her mind off the height, needs to think about something other than her bones breaking on impact with the ground. And from experience she knows he is one of the best storyteller's she has ever listened to, largely due to his voice. It's calming and compelling, it brings goose bumps to her skin and right now that is exactly what she needs. Besides, she has been secretly wondering about this since he came into her house and proposed their bargain.

"The simple answer is because it didn't matter how you got to the point of the sacrifice just that you did. The truth I admit is more complex however, what I needed from you was a big sacrifice and after I met you, after I saw how important your family was to you I knew I could never… Elena stop!" She freezes in place, while he was talking she had turned around to be in a better position and was starting to lower herself to the branch beneath her. And that is when she notices that some of her long brown strands of hair have tangled themselves between the three small leaf covered branches next to her face.

Only her toes are resting against anything solid, and both her arms are busy with holding herself up, if she keeps moving pulling her hair will be the least of her worries.

"There's the cracked branch to your right. Move your arm and… a bit higher, yes now let go with your other hand and try to free your hair." She is barely holding on as she tries to untangle her unhelpful tresses. A second after freeing them she can no longer keep her legs against the branch she was aiming for and the only thing stopping her fall is the branch she is now hanging from with both arms, the one she was afraid to put her weight against before. There is nowhere else she can move towards either and too much motion might make it snap anyway.

"You'll have to let go Elena." He tells her something she already knew, but had to hear. "I will catch you. Nothing will happen to you, I give you my word."

"Like you promised to kill Klaus?" She feels sorry for the words just as soon as she says them, but he doesn't say anything to contradict her and she swallows back an apology. The truth is she knows he will catch her, there is no doubt in her mind and there is nothing that scares her quite as much as the knowledge that she still after everything trusts him. She doesn't think she knows how not to do so.

She closes her eyes, carefully pulls up her knees and moments before letting go pushes herself away. And then she is flying, the sensation is so freeing she forgets her fear, her uncertainty and lets herself fall. Then she feels his arms enveloping her in safety.

He caught her, of course he did. Her own arms wrap around his neck and she breathes in his unique scent that always makes her simultaneously think of a cold winter night and a warm summer swim. He's both power and safety and when she opens her eyes to look into his she is instead caught by the sight of the slight smile on his lips. She moves closer and moments before their lips meet she is awake.

The disappointment and relief war inside her. She knows what this dream wanted to show her, and knowing just how much she still trusts Elijah is both exciting and frightening. It means something and she is afraid to find out why.

O0o0O Further Dreams Coming O0o0O

AN: So this came to me while I was going to my grandmothers house (strangely enough the chapter itself is in no way related to her or any big bad wolves) and so I dedicate it to her and all the cookies she has ever baked for me ;)