A Time Unknown

taelyn — Mon, 29 Oct 2012 06:31:38 GMT

"I'm okay now."

...

...

"I forgive you."

...

...

"More important: I forgive myself."

...

...

...

These are things I want to say. Things I need to say. Perhaps the words are not mine to give, though. Perhaps, I am afraid that my sense of calm and peace will shatter simply speaking to this person--or seeing such a once-well-remembered face.

...

...

...

"I'm okay now."

...

...

I want to say it. I don't know if I ever will.

...

...

"Live a good life."

(The life I hope you will have. The life I am worried you will not be able to give yourself.)

...

...

"I forgive us both, and hope you do, too."

...

...

Good bye. Good bye. I hear it in the distance. I've been saying it for years.

...

...

"Take care..."

...

...

There nothing else to say. So much to say--but in the end, what are words? And so I am left with this feeling. It is empty, but it is peaceful. Do you feel it, too?

...

...

"Good bye."

[meme] HK -- plurk -- SMUT-licious

taelyn — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 00:37:03 GMT

***Dastan and Anna:

"I'm not letting you go..."

The words were a soft, heated breath against heated skin. Lips trailed over Anna's shoulder as she curled into him--against him. Dastan moved his hips in time with hers, slow and deeply penetrating. This time would not be like the last time--where they had been rushed and simply needed to feel and taste one another's breath, moans, and skin. No, this time Dastan wanted Anna to know he meant it. He was hers, and he would not allow her to do anything reckless without him there to be sure she stayed alive and in one piece. He needed to be certain she knew he was dedicated, and wasn't going anywhere--different worlds be damned.

Seeing Anna's flushed lips open--possibly to refute that--Dastan grit his teeth and snapped his hips to hers with power and control as he bent down to nuzzle against her ear, breathing her name for only her to hear.

"Anna..."

Then the slow and steady pace wasn't enough, and Dastan reached back to grasp one of her lithe and toned thighs, marveling briefly in the softness of her skin, before roughly pulling her leg up and around him as he plunged more fully into her, increasing his pace. His throat felt tight, and he couldn't hold back the rough moan at feeling her under him--moving against him. Her hands raked his back and slid to cradle his face, bringing his lips to hers and he kissed her happily--thoroughly--as he thrust into her time and again. When their lips pulled apart, Dastan tensed. He wasn't about to find his own release without her to join him, though.

He brought his hand down to where their bodies were one--touched her. Felt her gasp against his skin as she arched into him. He was kissing her everywhere, then nuzzling into the side of her hair.

"Be mine, Anna. Say you'll be mine."

She shattered against him, and with a giant shudder and low groan, Dastan followed with relief. He whispered her name, time and again, pressing one warm kiss to her temple before rolling off of her--pulling her with him.

"I told you. I'm not letting you go."

They fell asleep that way, cradled in each other's arms, as Dastan slowly ran his hand through her hair.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

***Dastan/Samantha:

He didn't know what is was about Sam that drew him to her. Maybe it was that he found within her so many things to learn. Merely being a Prince wasn't anything important to her. Knowledge and application were her passions--what made her respect and appreciate others. In getting to know her, he found he couldn't help but feel awe for her self-confidence. He couldn't help but feel he wanted to be as self-assured and knowledgeable--in some ways. In other ways she drove him up the wall. He usually ran with it, though, and gave as good as he got. Perhaps that was what made them such a good team. Like fire and oil, on occasion. They burned brightly when together.

He wanted to see her burn brighter still, so he had finally done it. He managed to find a way to bring her with him to his world. 'Ancient Persia' or some such thing he believed she had called it. Seeing the awe in her expression--her excitement of traveling all over his father's Empire--it was enough to grant Dastan the happiness of a lifetime.

Over time, Dastan noticed how things slowly changed between them. What started out as passionate romps led to something more. Something deeper--greater--and no less passionate. Dastan found he could easily thrive traveling all over Persia with her. When he was with Sam, it was as if he saw his father's country through her eyes, and everything was new again, as if he was seeing it for the first time.

The moments were generally rather short, because Samantha would say something to ruin the moment--but it was something Dastan found he enjoyed with her. It didn't help that he was oftentimes the instigator of her remarks.

Just as he was the instigator now. To watch her as her eyes narrowed and her attention zoned in on him. To watch her lips press together just so. To push her buttons--see how long she could go. She couldn't stay mad at him long this time, though. A sand storm was coming--and Dastan knew all about sand storms. So he erected a make-shift tent within the sand and knew exactly how to wait this particular sandstorm out. It didn't take long for Sam to allow herself to enjoy his advances. It didn't take long for passion to ignite. They could be as loud and as wild as they wanted during this storm, and both Dastan and Sam gave as good as they got.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

***Dastan and Iriel: AU: Halis

It was their meeting place--after missions. Particularly missions of any amount of high risk or uncertain outcomes. He got there later than he should have--but only by half an hour. Still, half an hour could mean life or death out here. Even if one specialized in tactics. The higher ups always asked Dastan to do the impossible missions. Dastan firmly believed there were no 'impossible' missions. Difficult, yes. Impossible...?

So when he got back to his room, Dastan didn't expect Iriel to leap at him from some hidden corner. He also didn't expect her to leave without seeing he had safely returned. So when Dastan finally arrived, his heart stopped for a moment at finding his room empty.

But... that couldn't be. After her debriefing, she was supposed to have at least an hour to herself before Dastan's own mission and debriefing would supposedly come to an end. Yet she wasn't here.

Dastan only had a few short moments to panic before the door to his small quarters opened once more, and Iriel walked in. She stood there, looking a little worse for wear--and tired--but her eyes proved she was wide awake, and seeing her standing before him proved she was alive and well.

Dastan crossed the room in a few easy strides before he gathered her up in his arms. Iriel made mo protest, and her lips immediately sought his as their hands clutched at and roamed over one another, checking for new injuries while silently reassuring the other they were both okay.

Then they would fall in a tangle of limbs onto Dastan's bed, and clothing would swiftly be tossed aside as hands and lips and tongues explored across old scars and salty skin. Heavy breaths would intermingle until one of them managed to victoriously end up on top seconds before Dastan was sheathed inside of her. There were rarely any words in these moments--for nothing more needed to be said. They were alive, and these reunions would cause the blood to sing through them as their bodies thrived and writhed in tandem.

It wouldn't be until hours later--both of their bodies fully exhausted and their minds sated--that Dastan would want to know everything on Iriel's mind. He would want to know every detailed part of her mission--would ask questions time and again as if to reassure himself that she was with him. That Iriel was alive and had come home. Only then would he be able to slip into a bout of restful slumber.

Sometimes, though, he'd need another reminder. Those nights--like this one here--were sweetest of all, for that was when Dastan would wake to find her dosing next to him. He'd roll on top of her. Wake her with warm and gentle kisses, and prove to the both of them just how alive they truly were all over again.

[meme] Based off HK and originating from plurk

taelyn — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 23:55:46 GMT

***Xanth and Aara:

Aara had been shaking with rage, and blinded by tears when Xanth took her hand and led her away--to his room. It hadn't been enough that Kloe had been hurt--was seeking a cure. Anders still had to kill her. What was worse was Aara's hatred and rage wishing for his blood, warring with the hurt and anguish piercing her heart. Her shoulders slumped in defeat. She had not been able to save Kloe. She had failed as a friend and protector. The part that left her raw and aching was the knowledge that she couldn't do it--she could never harm Anders. Not even in revenge.

"No more death..."

The words came out a strangled sob, and still Aara could not see where Xanth was leading her.

"N-no more death." Slight sobs shook her form, and then Aara was gently pulled into Xanth's room. As soon as the door shut he had her in his arms, and Aara slumped against him, crying freely now. He soothed her. Held her. Tried to coax her into talking, if that was what she needed. Murmured quietly through the sharp stab of pain consuming her from the inside out.

Finally the tears ebbed, drying on Aara's cheeks. She pulled away a little and tried to smile for Xanth's concerned gaze.

"Can I... Can I stay here?" The words were hesitant. She whimpered. "I don't want to sleep on my own tonight."

Part of her knew Xanth would never turn her down. He had already said his room was open and welcome to her. It was with shaky fingers that she changed into some of Xanth's clothing while he had his back turned. It was with a quiet, shy hesitance that she slipped into his bed, tensing slightly when she wanted nothing more than to curl up into his side. Then his arm reached out to her, and Aara took that as all the prompting she needed. Burying her head in his shoulder, she curled around Xanth's form and drew his warmth into her tired and cold body. A shuddered sigh escaped, and then her eyes slipped closed.

"Thank you, Xanth..."

With him by her side, she was finally able to relax. She heard him murmur something to her. His hand moved gently over her, and finally she was able to sleep.

(LOL this was not 1-3 sentences. >.>)

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

***Anders and Chloe: Bros!

"You know, we’re not so different, you and I." Chloe stated the observation out of the blue, wondering if Anders would think the topic random.

A pause, and Chloe sneaks a peek Anders’ way and grins at the wry tilt noticeable in the corner of his lips.

"What, we’re both persecuted mages trying to find justice in the wrong-doings of others, while templars try to turn us into tranquils for fear we will all turn into abominations?"

Pressing her lips together, Chloe seriously had to fight not to smile. She knew Anders fought for a cause he thought was just. She also knew what destruction could come from persecuting others, and hoped Anders would be able to change his world before there was all-out genocide. Unless it was already too late.

"No."

She paused, looking out over the night as her gaze strayed back to the forest.

"We both come from worlds where people fear us--and our power--yes. What I meant was that we share something even more important."

Chloe bit her lip, taking a deep breath.

"We have them."

Her chin jutted in the direction of the forest, and she knew Anders had to be able to guess her meaning. Derek. Alex. Acceptance. Love.

Family.

She leaned against him, a slight smile on her face as she let him think about that for a moment.

"It’s kind of nice, having a werewolf for a boyfriend, isn’t it?" She smirked a little. "Even if they do seem to always go looking for trouble."

A small laugh.

"I suppose we can’t complain. Trouble seems to find us all the time."

She stayed silent again, looking out over the forest and gazing up at the full moon overhead.

"Huh. Another thing we have in common."

The last thing she was aware of was falling asleep, leaning against him. Odd, since she had thought to comfort him, tonight. She never heard Anders’ sigh as he moved to put an arm around her, situating her so she would be more comfortable without slipping off his shoulder and cracking her skull on the stone of the Keep. She never saw the rueful curl of his lips as he shook his head in thought.

:D

taelyn — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 23:21:59 GMT

Plan for today:

Finish application

Plan the rest of my plot for NaNo

Read more of the Emperor Mage

Write meme with friends

Finish Fieran's icons

Work on second application

And play sims! :D

Most of this stuff will have to be done after three a.m. Because I work the dreaded closing shift. Ugh. Oh well!

taelyn — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 09:39:00 GMT

I just realized I haven't been on here in... a long while. Wow. I don't know what I am feeling, looking back at these entries. I miss it. Miss not being up to date in your guys' lives. At the same time... role play hasn't been something I've craved doing in so long. It's weird. I thought in the past that I might be addicted my whole life. I guess... certain things aren't as addicting for me as I first assumed. Good to know, I suppose.

I miss disneyland, and having awesome character interactions, however. I do love going to cons, but it's been so long since my last one. And costumes are expensive to put together. Augh. such stress, and such fun. Cons are usually worth it in the end, but now... it seems as though only a bit of me is sad, and regrets not going to them. Not planning on going. :(

I have a job for the summer. Part of it, at least. Money will be really tight, but I think I will survive. Annie is gone on an internship all summer, so I am worried about her and Ghandi. At least they get to see each other again, and can visit one another if they really feel the urge. I feel lost without Bri. She was my sanity. My rock. My ONE friend I never butt heads with. Rational, kind, giving, and understanding. It's funny, how when friends grow distant, or seem to vanish, it takes you a while to note the gaping hole missing from you. When you think about all the parts you lack, however, you want them back. I keep thinking of the friends I will lose by the end of June. Moving. Gone back to Portland. In Bri's case, gone to California, Europe, and then will be living on the east coast.

I'm a fan of the internet. Truly I am. Talking on-line, keeping in touch--I'm not very good at it. But I want to strive to be better. And I believe I can be better than I was when I moved in middle school. I've grown a lot since then. I'm independent, and even if I don't know where I'll end up in the next year, I know I have friends I can count on--and a place to stay on the east coast if I ever desperately need. it. Haha. How I will get OUT there... is another question entirely.

I guess I feel lonely, even in knowing I am not alone. I have friends. I have the internet and texting to keep in touch. It's just--EACH of my closest friends are different, and provide something different that I cherish deeply. My roommates hate being touched. My friend, Hoobie, is staying with me and Ghandi this summer, and she CAN'T be touched. EVER. So when I am used to having girls' nights and sleepovers in little PJs, with back rubs and dog-piles... I'm going to miss it. I am going to miss my deep connections with these people I am used to seeing practically EVERY day.

Whenever I was lost, or upset, I knew I could call Bri. She stayed up all hours of the night. I could pick her up, and we would drive around the town at all hours of the night, talking about everything or nothing at all. We would plot stories and grand adventures. Soon my mood would be uplifted and happy and FULL. I need that. I need HER. Sometimes... especially if you're in a place you sometimes question whether or not you truly BELONG... that feeling of being filled... is the BEST feeling in the world. I have it at times with all my friends, some more than others, but each friend is someone I cherish. I remember memories as a WHOLE, not just the last moments when a fight took place, or where we slowly lost touch. I remember ALL the moments we EVER had. And I cherish them. Because friendship is forever, so long as both people are earnest and heartfelt about it. With love, and respect, and everything in-between.

I've already cried so much. I don't want to cry anymore. I just... wish life wasn't full of so many feelings of loss. Because these precious friendships AREN'T lost to me. Heh. I keep telling myself no one is dying. Perhaps, having dealt with the death of a friend, recently, that makes this transition tougher than it aught to be. Death is so final. Only memories remain. I have to keep holding onto the hope that I'll have the chance to form more happy memories with my loved ones. If I don't, I am surely lost already.

But how can one exist when one feels as though he or she is being pulled in so many different directions?

Needing aspirations

taelyn — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 10:05:20 GMT

I should reach for the stars.

Maybe one day I'll finally grasp at something amazing.

taelyn — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 05:26:17 GMT

Hawaii was a ton of fun. Plane rides... not so much. But being in Hawaii... definitely something I want to do over again. And again. And again. ;D

The weather was beautiful and perfect. Yes, there were a few gray moments and a few moments of sprinkling (warm) rain, but they lasted for a mere minute before the sun was out again. Poor Annie got majorly sunburned all along her back, Ghandi got a little sunburned, and then I got the smallest few burns of all--but they were still quite noticeable and hurt like heck for two days or so. I think I mostly tanned, which is nice.

The stores there are amazing and the food is absolutely scrumptious~! I think I got a Kahlua Pork sandwich EVERY DAY. I had amazing pineapple soft serve that I should have gotten more of, and their kona coffee is the best coffee I have had in my life. Homigosh, you don't know. Apparently there is already a bit of chocolate mixed into it. Mmm. I have a whole bag. Ohmnomnom. There was an amazing International Market located between our hotel and the beach, where we could eat almost anything our hearts desired, for a relatively nice price. That was a major find, I'll say. Had ramen curry, pad thai, and enchiladas for lunches at random points. Or dinner. Or second dinner. (Admits it, happily.) Our time zone was so far off we were used to eating lunch when we finally got up and about, ate dinner between two and four, and then had second dinner around nine or so. It was mightily epic.

The beach and snorkeling were amazing. Seeing fish about the size of my head, nearly two inches from my head, was quite the experience! Ooh! And boogie-boarding is one of my absolute favorite past-times, now! I wish I could do it every day! It is utterly exhausting, but if I could keep it up, I would be sooooo incredibly fit, I can't even imagine! Haha. Mm, doing things would have been more fun in a bigger group, or if all of us could do things at the same time, but you live you learn, and you compromise. Next time I go, I'll be more prepared in every manner of speaking. I'll also be sure I have more money I can spend. Haha! Vacations are expensive.

taelyn — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 21:21:00 GMT

So... I have lost weight, I just don't know how much. I fit into a size seven now, for which I am oh so happy about... but I still want to be skinnier. ^^;; I still feel like I'm more hefty than most people I see, anyway. Part of it could be my mentality. I do hope I'll see myself sometime and be like: "Is that really me?! I look that good?!" Haha. Now I'm flustering myself. Anyway, it's probably hard to see changes in oneself when you slowly get used to the small changes every day.

I ordered this gorgeous dress on-line that I really want to look good in. My mantra to myself as I work out is 'little black dress, little back dress.' Now that I think about it, it should probably be 'bikini, bikini, bikini.' Eep!

I'm eating a bit healthier, working out almost every day, and still allow myself ice cream and other delicious things once in a while, so I don't feel like I'm punishing myself. Hmm... what else? I don't know. I'm just glad I'm finally doing something for myself these days. I know I can reach my goals, because I did it once before in time for my senior pictures. Maybe with this new bout of discipline, I'll be able to make myself actually write and reach for my dreams again.

taelyn — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 20:46:35 GMT

I never have time.

Please come faster, Spring Break. ;_;

Things to strive for

taelyn — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 11:58:08 GMT

I want to wear sexy and/or classy clothing~.

I want to lose weight so I can feel good about myself and wear clothes that don't quite look that great on me, yet.

I want to do more exercise than what I do every/every other day.

I want to be better motivated at getting things done, and doing things that could potentially broaden my future.

I want to save up money.

I want to travel forever.

I want to learn more delicious (and healthy) recipes.

Aaaand... I've felt like I was about to throw up ever since the end of my shift, soooo, I think it's time to go lie down.

taelyn — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 10:07:15 GMT

I should not drink coffee at work when I know it will keep me up all night and when I know I work early in the morning.

...oops?

Mental note: Take a vitamin, and do millions ~~not truly~~ of sit-ups.

Also: Write children's stories. (This will be fun~!)

Lol. Oh, dear.

taelyn — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 09:39:38 GMT

Your result for The Suggestability Test...

Emotional

15 Emotional!

You have a higher emotional score than physical. As an emotional suggestable, you show emotional reactions first, then lead to physical.

You respond to inferred suggestions. You tend to accept inferred information but speak more in direct literal statements.

You should have no problem going into hypnosis.

Take The Suggestability Test at HelloQuizzy

Untamed Soul~

taelyn — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 09:28:14 GMT

Your result for The Golden Compass Daemon Test...

Untamed Soul

You are shy and introverted, and social situations can make you feel very uncomfortable. You like to have a quiet, safe place to retreat to, where you can relax and re-energize. You are a sensitive and caring person, and your feelings are easily hurt. You worry a lot about how other people see you, and you want people to see the real you. You share your feelings and thoughts a lot, because you don't want people to misinterpret what you say and do.

Your self esteem is rather low, and your feelings are easily hurt. You find it hard to take personal jokes or comments lightly, because you worry that they might be based on truth. You are an emotionally open person, and you find it hard to hide your feelings, which can sometimes result in embarrassing emotional outbursts of tears or anger when someone tries to give you constructive criticism, and accidentally hurts your feelings.

This same emotional honesty is also one of your best assets. You are honest, trusting and open, especially with your loved ones, and you expect them to place the same amount of trust in you. You are a family person, and very caring and loyal to your family and close friends. You would do almost anything for them.

Your daemon's form would represent your sensitive, reclusive nature, and your open and honest personality. He or she would probably help you keep an eye on people, to try and read what they are thinking and feeling, and would help booster your self confidence when you get down on yourself.

Suggested forms:
Wildcat, Nightingale, Panda, Tapir, Kangaroo Rat, Lynx.

Take The Golden Compass Daemon Test at HelloQuizzy

taelyn — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 21:59:16 GMT

I dreamed dreams of death last night. Death and trying to save things I knew couldn't be saved. Then I had a dream involving people in high school, and another fruitless endeavor.

Last night was not a good night for dreams.

New Year's Eve FEAST

taelyn — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 09:23:05 GMT

I bought a delicious honey-baked ham to celebrate the New Year with Ghandi, Annie, Amanda, and Paesha. I made green bean casserole, garlic mashed potatoes, and heated up some bacon and brown-sugar baked beans to go with it~. Manda made delicious garlic bread~! Then we had sparkling cider, and alcohol, and played games and chatted and it was a pretty successful night, if I don't say so myself~. I'm really very happy right now. I love cooking delicious food and sharing it with close friends. So tonight was good all around, and I couldn't think of a better way to spend the last day of 2009.

HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL, AND MAY 2010 BE FILLED WITH LOVE, HAPPINESS, FRIENDSHIP, AND REVELRY~!

taelyn — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 21:34:36 GMT

Sometimes it takes me a while to realize what makes me happy, or what brings me down. Saying goodnight to a friend--even if over a text, and then getting a good morning from them first thing, right when they wake up--those moments I cherish with every fiber of my being. ^~^

It's the little things that make me happy. It really, truly is.

taelyn — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 07:11:25 GMT

If I was rich, there are a lot of things I would do.

...Then again, wouldn't we all? ^^;;

taelyn — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 08:15:08 GMT

I has new icons nao. ^^

taelyn — Fri, 15 May 2009 20:11:00 GMT

I have a feeling today is going to be a good day. The weather is really nice, I don't feel stressed about things I know I need to quickly take care of, I'm relaxed and content and...

It just feels like it's going to be a *really* nice day, and I'm happy for that.

Also, I just got a story idea that I really want to get to work on. I haven't felt creatively productive in quite a while, so... this is good. I want to start writing and doing what I love again. I'm excited~.

taelyn — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 06:55:35 GMT

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Apparently the world is made of love and peace~!

XD

So says Vash the Stampede.

taelyn — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 17:18:13 GMT

Hmm. I wish my chibi pattern had worked. :/ I really would like to get back into sewing them, but it seems like too much work right now. u.u Which is dumb. I know I can alter the pattern to make it work, but.... *le sigh* So sad. I want to complete something. I want to give these gifts so I may make others smile. I want to take pictures of their cuteness when they're completed.

Hmm. Maybe this weekend I can try again.

taelyn — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 23:07:09 GMT

*shakes booty* XD;;;

Tohohohoho~!

taelyn — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 22:03:04 GMT

rawr rawr rawr rawr rawr rawr rawr.

^^;;;

I think I want a simple life.

But if I ever had it, I'd want an exciting one.

taelyn — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 19:43:04 GMT

We talked about eating octopus in my spanish class, today... DX Apparently my prof and a girl in the front row love it. I was slightly intrigued for about a minute, until I remembered I don't care much for seafood anyway. ^^;;; Octopus probably wouldn't be a safe bet for me. Then I remembered this show I watched a few years back where people had to eat LIVE octopi. DDDDDDD8

And one of the people claimed one of the octopi suction-cupped to his throat the entire way down.

Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew~!!!

*shudders*

DO NOT WANT.

Okay, so inquiry time. What are some of the strangest things you guys have eaten??

Bunny-Lady~! XD;;

taelyn — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 22:37:14 GMT

Isn't she cuuuuuuuute?!?!?! 8D *adorable squee of squeeness~!*