The great feminist leader, icon, and powerhouse Gloria Steinem was once asked in an interview if she was depressed over the loss of her husband, who had died only a few years after they married in 2000. She said she was not depressed, she was sad. The journalist asked what the difference was. “In depression, you care about nothing. In sadness, you care about everything,” she replied. In other words, when you are depressed, nothing has any meaning. The world is cold and closed. Nothing can touch you. When you are sad, it comes alive. You feel your own feelings more intensely, but you also feel the feelings of others more piercingly. Everything touches you. Depression shuts you down; sadness opens a channel.

What if I told you that the way to change the world was not to be (only) bold, resolute, brilliant, or even compassionate? What if I told you that the way to change the world was to be sad?

It sounds so improbable. When we think of those who have taught us the most about meaningful change, we think of people who are very, very brave, say, Martin Luther King Jr, Mahatma Gandhi, the Dalai Lama. Unwavering. Deep. Devoted to others and willing to die for what they believe, quite literally.

How do you get to be such a person?

Well, I have no idea, but perhaps the ground, path, and fruition of their lives is sadness.

When you look out at this world, what you see will make you very, very sad. This is sensible. You are seeing clearly. Genuine sadness gives rise, spontaneously, naturally, completely, to the wish—no, the longing—to be of benefit to others. When your wish to help is rooted in love (i.e. sadness), it is effective. There is no question.

But because it is so uncomfortable, we immediately want to turn sadness into what we imagine will hurt less: anger, hopelessness, helplessness. When the wish to help is rooted in anger, it will only create more confusion. And of course, when we feel hopeless or helpless, we take refuge in non-action, which also creates confusion.

Meditation teaches you to relax with the discomfort of sadness and stay with it, not turn it into something else. At this point, you can lay claim to your brand of helpful activity, whether it takes the form of activism, leadership, charitable work, making art, prayer, and/or simple, basic kindness to all.

Despair is what happens when you fight sadness. Compassion is what happens when you don’t. It will not feel “good,” it will feel alive and this aliveness is also the path of presence. So the key, and this is a big one, is to learn to stabilize your heart in the open state. The practice of meditation can really help. It is so much more than a self-improvement technique, as I’ve said 100 zillion times. It is a path to peace. It is a path to love, not the sappy-silly kind, but the kind that pierces delusion.

If you open your heart, you can change the world. Don’t take my word for that!

.