WOW. I felt like I was Helen with you. It feels like a dream, yet completely real.
I especially love the line: “…draping his arm over me again. It was heavy like a dead slab of beef.” I knew exactly what had shifted, without you ever saying it. That’s the difference. Don’t tell me something shifted. That line put me there.
I also really like the countdown threaded through the story, and then how you brought it back at the end. Very clever.
The divine masculine challenging the divine feminine, and the feminine rising to meet it.
OMG. This story did catch me up. I was right there with Helen and the fireflies, and but now it's Helen's dealings with the dude, and now the echoing voices of her parents. I loved the sneak attack mode, starting out with an easy bit of nature writing, no it's about their relationship, no it's her and her parents, no, it's her emotions roiling up and now she's gobbling down the fireflies. So much in so few words and me literally on the edge of my seat.
This is such a captivating short story. Thanks for sharing it again. The line "dead slab of beef" made me sit up and go "oh"! And the tension you created! A tug and pull between indoctrination and instinct. Spot on! 👏
WOW. I felt like I was Helen with you. It feels like a dream, yet completely real.
I especially love the line: “…draping his arm over me again. It was heavy like a dead slab of beef.” I knew exactly what had shifted, without you ever saying it. That’s the difference. Don’t tell me something shifted. That line put me there.
I also really like the countdown threaded through the story, and then how you brought it back at the end. Very clever.
The divine masculine challenging the divine feminine, and the feminine rising to meet it.
WOW.
Thanks for these beautiful words on my story, Lisa and for reading it. I love hearing about the places that stood out for you!
OMG. This story did catch me up. I was right there with Helen and the fireflies, and but now it's Helen's dealings with the dude, and now the echoing voices of her parents. I loved the sneak attack mode, starting out with an easy bit of nature writing, no it's about their relationship, no it's her and her parents, no, it's her emotions roiling up and now she's gobbling down the fireflies. So much in so few words and me literally on the edge of my seat.
I'm so glad the story caught you, Jon! Thanks for your lovely words and for reading :)
This is such a captivating short story. Thanks for sharing it again. The line "dead slab of beef" made me sit up and go "oh"! And the tension you created! A tug and pull between indoctrination and instinct. Spot on! 👏
Thank you so much for reading Cathy Jo and for your lovely words :)
a masculine and a feminine standoff, the vulnerability of it shines through and is very relatable. thank you for posting!
Thanks so much for reading it Cynthia!
I looooooved this when it was first published and I love it just as much now!
Thanks so much, Lauren! 💜💜✨
Oh!!! Love it! I reached a point where I couldn't read it fast enough.
Aww thank you, Diane, that means a lot!