Here’s a radical proposal. December is the perfect month to grow in the virtue of restraint. How could that be, you wonder, when everywhere you look, you are encouraged to eat, drink, shop, and be merry?

Recall that the optimal time for growth is not some mythical future date when things “get back to normal,” say in mid-January. As Doc Holiday reminds his friend in the legendary film Tombstone, “There’s no normal life, Wyatt. It’s just life, now get on with it.”1

Growth occurs when we stretch ourselves to meet a challenge, and December presents numerous challenges to our restraint. Therefore, it is the perfect time to grow.

This idea occurred to me as I unboxed an amaryllis kit, a gift sent by my mother. I may be a little slow but I only just realized why this is a popular Christmas flower and that growing it is an exercise in restraint. The instructions were to partially bury the bulb, place it in bright indirect light, water lightly once a week, and wait four to six weeks to enjoy a beautiful bloom. That’s it.

The amaryllis bulb by itself is not attractive. It certainly does not provide instant gratification; rather, it rewards the caretaker’s patience. Water it, not too much, and then wait. Patient waiting. This is a practice our world could use more of.

I’m not proposing that practicing restraint in December means one should boycott every party and become a Christmas killjoy. But I have observed that Christmas can be a more meaningful celebration when we hold back a bit in the lead-up. Christians call this time of patient waiting Advent, and it’s meant to be a season of its own. Not a full-on party but rather a time of hopeful expectation for the coming of Christ. Not unlike waiting for the bloom of an amaryllis bulb.

How can this be lived? Socially, it can be a challenge, but not impossible. Is anyone really going to notice or care if you cheerfully attend their party while quietly limiting your consumption of eggnog and cookies?

In our home, where we have more control, we have developed some ways to joyfully build anticipation for Christmas while delaying the full celebration until its proper time. Here are three simple ones.

1. Most baked goods and cookie doughs freeze well, which allows us to make them now but enjoy them later.

2. When our children were young, we began collecting Christmas-themed books that we would only take out in December, a bit at a time. This simple routine has built lasting memories and a particular fondness for those books that we still enjoy.

3. We also decorate incrementally, bringing out a bit more each week. While we do purchase a tree early, we keep it alive in our garage until the week before Christmas, when we have a family decorating party, enjoying yummy treats and happy memories associated with the ornaments we’ve collected over the years.

   

Practicing restraint also has practical merit, for who can sustain a month of indulgence? Many are party weary by the time Christmas arrives, as evidenced by the swift tossing out of trees when the new year is barely upon us. Waiting also relieves the pressure to complete all Christmas preparations while still consuming Thanksgiving leftovers.

But ultimately, restraint isn’t just about food, decorations, shopping, or parties; like all virtues, it shapes our character and therefore our entire life. Several recent headlines claim that there has been a nationwide increase in church attendance, suggesting that many may be rediscovering the spiritual significance of Christmas. If attending church this Christmas is in your plans (I hope it is), then I propose that you can make Christmas a more intentional and meaningful celebration by sprinkling in a touch of restraint right now.

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