blogging gobbledygook and such

i’m not the only one

April 9, 2010

i’m cleaning up my blogroll list and the blog surfer feature in my dashboard. seems like i’m not the only one who’s quit blogging. about half of my blog friends have not updated their blogs for some time. the other half are either still going on blogging as frequently as before or less frequently but regularly enough. a few like me have moved on to twitter instead.

there’s this phrase about how some friends come and go, some stay for a season and go for a reason, or how some will be in your life forever blablabla. it is true. one day, you might feel so close to somebody that you know almost every aspect of that person’s everyday routine. the next, you’re like strangers.

but on the other side of the coin, there are always new friends to be made. and sometimes some old ones will stay with you, even if you don’t keep in touch.

yes, yes, i’m supposed to share with you what’s currently going on in my life but i still don’t quite know where to start. today i’m just observing that the blogging world is quite ephemeral. then again, so is life!

Category:

Blogging, Friends

12 Comments

as the dust settles

April 7, 2010

i have things to say but i don’t quite know where to start. instead, i’ve been reading some of my old posts.

and you know what? i actually like most of the things i wrote. even the ones which i was frustrated about – the last few posts which i felt i was being too self-obsessed and having nothing intellectual to say.

now that i’m leaving my current job – yes, i’m leaving the bookshop job and i’ll tell you why soon – i see that i have a pretty good writing voice. at least, my personality does come through better in writing than it does in person. i feel like a better person in writing.

it’s a shame that i’m leaving my current job because one of my main responsibilities is to maintain the bookshop’s facebook page and blog. i interact with the fans a lot and i really enjoy that; it reminds me when i was at the peak of blogging here and i was interacting with all my blog friends.

well, there’s not much point to this post except to tell you that i’ve been reading my old posts, reminiscing without feeling bitter, feeling wistful about leaving the bookshop job yet looking forward to start all over with the new job.

tell you more in the next post.

Category:

Personal

6 Comments

(hello)

April 6, 2010

hi *whispers*

are you there?

if you’re not it’s okay.

i’ve left this place for so long i daren’t speak too loud because of the silence.

i just want to let you know that i’m back.

yes, i’ve decided to come back and resume blogging here.

this place is a real mess, isn’t it? i see strangers leaving comments that i don’t reply to. the old sulz would have replied each and every one, wouldn’t she?

this place doesn’t feel like it’s mine.

but i’m going to change that.

so anyway, hello. *still whispering*

Category:

Blogging

15 Comments

January 1, 2010

hey there

how are you?

i just want to tell you what i’ve been up to after officially ending this blog.

i am on the hunt… for another job. i’m guessing you are surprised because the last time you heard from me, i declared that i’ve found the job of my dreams and have no intentions of leaving it anytime soon.

oh, how quickly things can change!

i won’t elaborate except to say that i’ve grown dissatisfied enough to go on the hunt again. i am hopeful so far. one prospect is knocking on my door. if that’s not the right one, i’ll keep looking.

i’m still around on my usual online haunts, like facebook and twitter. still friends with the same people, still playing the same games, still reading voraciously, still dating the television set. (watching desperate housewives now.)

if i were still blogging now, this time would be spent reflecting on last year’s new year resolutions as well as making this year’s ones. and giving you some blog statistics. not this year. however, i do hope that i get to travel more for the year 2010. travelling to bangkok in april 2009 was one of the highlights of the year and still holds many special memories for me, of shopping with my dearest friend angel and meeting with a friend i had known in macau when i went in july 2008.

ah, why is it that i still live in the past? here i am with all of 2010 ahead of me. yet my neck never aches from my turning back to the past.

i haven’t really thought of blogging again. a part of me wants to (hence this post, i guess) but another part of me just fears that i will lose the passion again. blogging here is mostly a relationship with myself, yet here i am talking as if i want to get back with an ex-boyfriend. still, a relationship with myself is just as important, i think.

anyway, if you are an old friend, do say hi with a comment. i’ll be checking back on this post.

Category:

Personal

21 Comments

Bye.

September 16, 2009

I’ve put this off long enough.

My computer has been fixed over a week ago but I couldn’t bring myself this write this.

I just didn’t want to admit I was wrong, in a space where I’m supposed to feel free to be me. Well, wrong isn’t a state I like to be in much.

I tried to go back to blogging for the wrong reasons, perhaps.

Yes, I have no outlet for personal expression except here. Yet, I don’t feel like expressing myself anymore.

Maybe because most of the audience is gone. Maybe I don’t crave attention with what few eyes are left checking this blog for signs of life.

Ironically, my stats remain the same the entire time I left for my blogging break, as if I never stopped. It is simply because of this post.

It’s not as if nothing is going on in my life. There was that incident where I was verbally abused by a customer. Before that, there was my trip to Malacca to visit my friend and her family. I’ve been using Twitter a bit more than before so if you’ve been checking the sidebar you’d see that yes, I am online and social, just elsewhere.

I still don’t know why I don’t feel like blogging anymore, but I no longer blame my work for my lack of interest. Yes, work does consume a lot of me, but as I’ve said before, I do enjoy my job and I wouldn’t think of leaving it anytime soon. It’s growing and I want to be part of that growth, I want to be the one involved in the change of the bookshop. I want to be credited as someone who helped in its success once the plans my bosses are making are fully accomplished.

I still feel like there’s something missing in my life. I feel that void by escaping to books and reruns of Gilmore Girls. When I read or watch GG, I’m glad that I don’t have to deal with my feelings and problems at that moment. After GG finishes (into fifth season now, there are seven seasons in total), I’ll be watching reruns of Ally McBeal.

Sometimes I wonder, what has happened to me? Why have I grown out of love for something that had brought me so much joy? Why did this part of me have to change? I’ve poured my heart and soul into this for 3 years, doesn’t it mean anything?

I’m still maintaining my other non-personal blog, in case you’re wondering.

I am quitting this blog indefinitely.

Category:

Blogging

1 Comment

Setback

September 5, 2009

Computer died!

Why does this always happen when I want to be in the mood to blog!

I wanted to gradually go back to those posts I used to write – you know, all musings and ponderous and thoughtful.

Now I don’t even know if ‘ponderous’ is an actual word.

So while I get my computer affairs back in order, just pretend I haven’t actually got back in blogging. Like I’ve disappeared off the face of the blogosphere, because that is how I feel after one day without the Internet.

Yes, severe withdrawal symptoms I’m dealing with here. Grieve with me, people.

Meanwhile, I keep my mind off my Internet-less state by gorging on Gilmore Girls reruns. And reading. Thank goodness for the books. None of this e-book, Kindle nonsense for sulz.

Category:

Life

8 Comments