Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold...

suhra @ 2006-08-03T22:04:00

2006-08-04T04:03:13Z

You have reached a Live Journal that is no longer in service.

Please refer to catalysia for all future inquiries.

suhra @ 2006-06-15T16:50:00

2006-06-15T22:54:29Z

Somehow, being the clutzy person that I am, managed to get this big ass cut that glides across half my wrist. It hurts when I type, which is agonizing, because as we all know, I am computer-addicted.

I put Neosporin on it, along with a crystal clear band-aid so hopefully the pain will lessen in the next day or so.

On an off-note, for those of you who have a PayPal account, I was wondering if you have to put anything like your bank information on there, or what exactly does it entail? What does having a PayPal account consist of?

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

suhra @ 2006-05-01T04:45:00

2006-05-01T10:48:56Z

Title: Dead Or Alive
By: catalysia
Author’s Notes: I tried to remain as true to the actual story as possible. I sort of twisted it as a story within a story, so hopefully you, the reader, will enjoy it as well.
Summary: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Rating: Restricted, because it’s kind of dark & morbid in nature.
Pairing: None. The story is just revolving around Cassidy’s state of mind.
Spoilers: Everything upwards of Season 2.
Word Length: 1,020.
Feedback: Any feedback, constructive criticism or otherwise, is always welcome.

Thy silence is the voice of reason. My family, were it that I had one, always told me to separate the wickedness from the heavens by prayer.

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It’s been a lifetime ago since my last confession. The depths of my soul are tainted, with the likes of a plague that has long since beseeched me.

Beautiful stranger. We are alike, in so many ways. Both dependant on a family who’s chosen to ignore us rather than show any sort of human emotion. Neither one of us has ever felt the love of a parent; rather just an aura of numbness filling the void where our hearts used to be.

I may be an orphan, ripped apart from a family by the guidance of greed and power, but I am still human. The only emotion I can seem to feel is the callousness of vengeance. I wish to grant horrors on those who have made it their life’s mission to torment me.

On this, I promise you, I will find peace. I will collect my good fortune, and all I will know is the happiness I have found within myself, within my soul.

“Mr. Casablancas, what can you tell us about the fable?”

“It means loneliness. His heart, his soul, has been torn apart by the simple life he’d always dreamed of. It’s his need to capture a life that was stolen from him that is so difficult to grasp.”

“That’s a very astute way to look at the reality of the situation.”

“Well, what can I say? Rich kids are morbid.”

* * *

I have no purpose, no meaning. My goal in life is just to become a part of something greater than life itself. I want to regain the power which was stolen from me, by those who had the audacity to call themselves family.

As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...

I will fear no evil. I will myself to keep the position my tattered soul has invoked upon itself. It’s the only way I can retain the façade those around me have inflicted upon my emotional state.

The only person whom I am in constant contact is Logan. He may not be the most logical choice, but he seems to understand the power that one’s family can wound on a teenager.

As the lights dim in my room, and I flip through the channels, I am reminded of the one thing that sealed my fate.

Why don’t you tell us about that moment, Mr. Casablancas?

What moment, Jerry?

The moment when you knew your marriage to Kendall was a failure. The moment where you’d known you were a fugitive from the law; the moment when your children started to look up at you with sheer disgust in their eyes.

My children mean...

Nothing…and everything. My father lives in unadulterated sin, and yet, I still feel sorrow where he is concerned. He’s the man who raised me to become the person I am today, a man with honorable intentions and respect for the female race.

Is it true you don’t see your youngest son anymore? That he doesn’t maintain any sort of contact with you? What does that say about your relationship?

Cassidy just needs time and space. I taught him to sort out his emotions without any interference. He doesn’t bother with the ideal that anger exacts justice; he concludes that peace wins the war.

That logic seems to be that of a renowned philosopher. Do you know his name?

I can barely recall the day, Jerry.

I suppose not, then.

You suppose right.

It’s that avoidance that leads me towards the path I chose to redirect my emotions to. A clean slate to start over is what’s needed. It is something I need to salvage for my own intentions.

I know that Mac doesn’t understand my need for absolution. There are moments where I don’t understand it myself. She wants us to become closer, as close as two people in love should be.

The road to salvation is paved with good intentions. I have a need to see Mac happy, and it’s something I know she will never truly find with me. There is always going to be a need for vengeance, not among her, mind you, but among the people who have steered our kind onto the war path.

No one seems to understand the dilemma that I find myself facing. They are all too invested in their personal problems to listen to the ramblings of a teenage madman. It’d just be another case of a deprecated state of perseverance.

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. My sins aren’t society’s normal demerits. My damnation is the culmination of making a conscious effort to do the honorable thing.

As I walk through the pearly gates that encompass the church, I will fear no evil. I have damned myself to a life of devotion. I am merely a vessel, devoted to the interference of a schematic frame of mind.

My intention is to not convince people to become a better person. No. My mission is to allow everyone else to feel the pain of loss, and in the interim, to admit their atrocities to find salvation.

As it was written, so it shall be. Those who obey it shall rise against, and those who do not, shall continue to shelter their lives in fear. My life is my battle, and the war rages on.

-Fin.

Challenge: Little Mook, located here.

Twist: A character appears in a talkshow.

Breathe Me, Veronica/Logan.

2006-05-01T05:08:40Z

Title: Breathe Me
By: catalysia
Author’s Notes: Written for the Cheesy Love Song ficathon over at cheesy_love. The song challenge was “Something To Talk About” by Bonnie Raitt. While I’m not a fan of the particular genre, I think it fit the fic extremely well. This is the first fiction regarding anything Veronica Mars, so please don’t be disappointed if it isn’t snarky enough for anyone’s particular tastes.
Distribution: If you ask first, I'll probably say yes.
Summary: No matter how hard she tries, Veronica just can’t seem to get Logan out of her head.
Rating: Anything you'd see on the actual show, so probably suitable for anyone at the designated age group.
Pairing: Logan/Veronica, with mentions of Duncan/Veronica & Veronica/Lily friendship.
Spoilers: Everything up to the current aired episode, “Look Who’s Stalking”.
Feedback: Any feedback, constructive criticism or otherwise, is always welcome.

People are talkin, talking ’bout people
I hear them whisper, you won’t believe it
They think we’re lovers kept under covers
I just ignore it, but they keep saying

Cheesy love songs. Why is it that every girl constantly insinuates the stereotype that one must listen to melodramatic love songs once they’ve broken up with a boy?

Weird as it may be, I’ve never felt the need to break out that old CD of music that painfully reminds a girl of her current frame of mind. I don’t even eat ice cream during my depression.

No. I do what needs to be done. I focus on two things: work and school. They keep me motivated.

We laugh just a little too loud
We stand just a little too close
We stare just a little too long
Maybe they’re seeing, something we don’t, darlin’

Country music; the music of pain. Whoever said that this is how I would spending my time on a Friday evening was aware of my boyfriend-less state. Drastic measures call for drastic actions.

Let’s give them something to talk about
Let’s give them something to talk about
Let’s give them something to talk about
How about love?

Love. Is that what they call that feeling in your gut which reeks of betrayal? He’d told me once I smelled of promises and marshmallows. Was that just another ploy to make me feel something other than loneliness and annoyance towards the man I’d barely seen socially in months?

I feel so foolish, I never noticed
You’d act so nervous, could you be falling for me?
It took a rumor to make me wonder
Now I’m convinced I’m going under

I know now that Duncan was a phase. I think I’d tried for so long to believe that my breakup with Logan was anything besides disaster that turning to Duncan became a normality. He was the one constant that seemed to get me through the moments of sorrow during solving Lily’s murder.

It was those moments of believing that if I could erase history that everything would magically fade away. I’d become Veronica Mars again, girlfriend of Neptune’s prodigy child, Duncan Kane.

Thinking ’bout you every day
Dreaming ’bout you every night
Hoping that you feel the same way
Now that we know it, let’s really show it, darlin’

Realization has forced me to recognize the fact that I was in a rock and a hard place. To believe that Duncan was my true love, if there is such a thing, was a homage to Lily. By remaining as Duncan’s significant other, I was honoring Lily’s memory.

Let’s give them something to talk about
Let’s give them something to talk about
Let’s give them something to talk about
How about love?

I know now she’d tell me to look inside myself and tell me to follow my intuition. Though she put on that rich-girl façade, she was merely a lost soul, trying to find a way to rid herself of a life she’d always been persecuted for.

Let’s give them something to talk about
A little mystery to figure out
Let’s give them something to talk about
How about love, love, love, love?

I find myself dialing Logan’s number, a set of numbers I’ve memorized by heart. Last time, I found myself stuck between loving Logan & staying with Duncan.

Matters of the heart have never been easy, including mine. However, in our lives there comes a point where we must decide once and for all, the choice to do what’s right.

My choice is simple. Loving Logan or deserting a future I know I can’t survive without.

Let’s give them something to talk about
Let’s give them something to talk about
Let’s give them something to talk about
How about love, love, love, love?

His voice always has that softened rasp to it. Inwardly, I have to smile at the way he turns a response.

“I love you, Logan Echolls,” I respond before clicking a dial tone.

Life is never easy, but sometimes it’s those complications that turn our entire beings into the people we were always destined to be.

-Fin

suhra @ 2006-04-01T20:42:00

2006-04-02T03:36:53Z

What type of Fae are you?

suhra @ 2006-02-28T11:17:00

2006-02-28T18:22:30Z

I'm not going to get into a debate with the people involved in this fiasco. We've been down this road many times over the past few years. I left the fandom for an assortment of reasons and I'm not going to be pushed back in over petty differences.

Yes, I have my own opinions on the falling out with some parties, but it's only because I've been there myself. I went through the drama enough times to know what it was all about.

I won't do it again. I'm not going to be sucked back in by anyone for any reason.

Those of you involved in this latest triangle know who you are. You know my opinion on the matter. The person who has angered all of you knows who they are and why I expressed my own thoughts. I stem my opinions from factual evidence that proved my case.

If anyone has something to say, speak your mind. I'll give you an honest answer. Where some people might say I'm a biased prick, know this. I did not take a side. I took a stance, based on my past experience with the person in question.

There's a difference between the two. I'm not going to be involved in this vendetta.

P.S.- A specific IP address does not belong solely to one person. An IP address is based on a connection to your server, and if you live in a house with more than one person, or even use a public computer (i.e. school-based connections, libraries, etc.), you are all connected to the same server, thus leading multiple people to having the same address.

Comprende?

suhra @ 2010-01-01T00:00:00

2005-11-24T04:12:46Z

I have de-publicized my journal.

I don't appreciate my thoughts being taken out of context and placed onto another site without my consent. Therefore, because of this happening, all posts will now be friends-locked.

The only reason that this post isn't is to vocalize why I am friends-locking my journal.