The World Is a Great Big Fish

Fun Way to Make Yourself Crazy!

strina — Mon, 25 Jan 2016 05:17:48 GMT

(Absolutely the appropriate word)

You know that thing, where you have the internet and accidentally read some stuff and start self-diagnosing weird and unusual conditions? And then there's the next part, where you have to talk yourself down, because you don't have nose cancer or whatever, it's just WebMD or Wikipedia making you paranoid?

AFTER YOU ACTUALLY HAVE A COUPLE OF SELF-DIAGNOSES CONFIRMED BY ACTUAL DOCTORS, THE NEXT PART GOES AWAY. FOREVER.

Like, when I was 19 and diagnosed as major depressive and started on medication, I ended up going to the doctor and telling her that the antidepressant was making me crazy in unfun new ways and I was pretty sure I was actually bipolar. So she ran me through some questions and yes, bipolar.

And a couple years ago I read this comedy article about fictional characters with undiagnosed mental illnesses and had a huge "UM..." moment and figured out I probably had schizoid personality disorder. Which I brought up when I started back on my meds and the therapist at my intake was like "yeah, it's on your chart from 2006...did they not mention that?".

Most recently there was that Criminal Minds episode with the girl with polycystic ovary syndrome and my doctor and I talked and the conclusion is I need to get an ultrasound, stat.

So. You know. Now there's this article on sensory processing disorder that's sounding REAL familiar and I basically feel like I need to never read anything about real life ever again.

(But seriously, my whole family has a weird and intense thing with food and textures. And lots of motion sickness/sleep disorders. And stress migraines/photophobia. And there's a creepy posture chart where the apparently fucked up version looks a lot like my x-rays.

You have no idea how much I DON'T want to have a family sit-down about who has been diagnosed with what and what that means for the Family Medical History. At least five of us are on psych meds for reasons we Do Not Talk About.)

IT STARTED SO INNOCENTLY

strina — Wed, 23 Dec 2015 01:05:59 GMT

My dad always has a shit-ton of flash drives in a box on his desk, because he gets them as swag at conferences and stuff. So I grabbed a couple today, looking for an empty one to put his present on.

I plug the first one in, it’s not empty, so I’m about to close it when…I see a document labeled Will1.

Obviously you see a will, you open it, right? I have read/watched too many mysteries to NOT read a mysterious will.

Except LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES, INTERNET. DO NOT OPEN WILLS. YOU LEARN THINGS YOU NEVER IMAGINED.

MY DAD HAS A SECRET CHILD.

(A SECRET CHILD WHO EXPLICITLY GETS NOTHING IN THE WILL, BECAUSE APPARENTLY IF YOU HAVE A SECRET CHILD AND DON’T MENTION THAT YOU’RE NOT LEAVING THEM ANYTHING ON PURPOSE, THEY CAN SUE FOR PART OF THE ESTATE. LIVE AND FUCKING LEARN!)

…Obviously I googled her immediately. And I seem to have found her.

Why am I so sure, you might ask? Because her first name is spelled unusually (Karlye), she comes from the right area - which happens to be middle of nowhere Oklahoma, so not a huge pool of possibilities to start, and oh, one other thing: when I logged into Facebook for the first time in months, just so I could maybe see more of her profile, SHE HAD ALREADY SENT ME A FRIEND REQUEST EVEN THOUGH WE DON’T KNOW ANY OF THE SAME PEOPLE. EXCEPT, APPARENTLY, OUR DAD.

WHY IS MY LIFE A SOAP OPERA. WHY DO I HAVE TO ASK THAT SO OFTEN. THE WHOLE “YOU’RE THE REASON YOUR DAD AND I ELOPED TO TEXAS AND MADE YOUR GRANDMA SO MAD THAT 25 YEARS LATER, SHE WILL BE ONE OF THE TWO GUESTS AT YOUR COUSIN’S SECRET WEDDING” SHOULD HAVE BEEN PLENTY FOR ONE PERSON. LET ALONE THE “BROTHER IS DATING THE DAUGHTER OF YOUR MOM’S SECOND (COMMON-LAW) HUSBAND AND BY THE WAY, YOU HAVE A SECRET HEIRLOOM OF HER DAD’S FAMILY IN YOUR APARTMENT”. BUT NO. THE UNIVERSE HAS TO GO FULL-ON GODDAMN SECRET BABY.

!!!!!????!!!?

UPDATE: SHIT GOT WEIRDER.

So I was venting to my best friend about the WTFness of it all and she thought she recognized the name, so she got on secret-sister’s Facebook.

APPARENTLY SHE USED TO WORK WITH THE GIRL’S ADOPTED MOM, WHOSE SISTER WAS THE BIO-MOM. NOBODY EVER SAID A WORD ABOUT THE BIO-DAD AND NOW WE KNOW WHY.

Secret-sister is ~18, so was conceived about two years after my parents’ divorce and before he and my stepmom were really a thing. Which makes the secrecy SO MUCH WEIRDER.

I just. Does my grandma know?! Do I tell my brother? How do I bring this shit up without going into “I felt mystery-plot-device obligated to open this will, but that is not the point right now”?

UPDATE UPDATE: I JUST REALIZED THE CONTEXT OF A WILL MEANS HE WAS LITERALLY PLANNING TO TAKE THIS SHIT TO THE GRAVE.

[Note: Post copied from tumblr, because that is where I was when my feelings exploded. They have exploded approximately three more times since, most recent best summed up as "IT IS TWO DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS, AKA, THE LAST TIME THIS YEAR ME, MY DAD, AND MY BROTHER WILL BE IN THE SAME ROOM. AWKWARD SECRET-KEEPING OR EPIC SHITSHOW?"]

Recs!

strina — Sun, 03 May 2015 21:22:54 GMT

Kind of! So I've been working on a recs project for, oh, months now, but I haven't been able to brain sufficiently to finish it. The way I structured it, though, means I really don't want to unlock it in its current state. Therefore! Compromise!

The actual, pretty, project-of-my-heart version will someday go live at thisisalovesong. The off-the-cuff, just-made-it-past-the-brackets version will be posted intermittently at lovesonginmyownway. I'm hoping eyes on it will motivate me to not fail at it quite so hard.

Mixed Bag!

strina — Thu, 05 Mar 2015 06:43:41 GMT

New Anne Bishop! Really liked it (not as good as the first, better than the second), and I freaking loved Hope. Actually trying not to think about it too much, because it's another year before the next book. I 100% had a private midnight release party, though, where I set an alarm for a quarter to midnight so I could hunt it down ASAP and read it immediately. Ugh, I just love this worldbuilding so fucking much.

I housesat for my dad last week, which afforded me the opportunity to play Saints Row IV. I bought the game of the century or whatever edition for like $8 in January only to realize, after two days of downloading, that hey, this game is not compatible with XP. That game is fucking awesome, except for the number of missions that require me to drive cars or motorcycles. Tanks and aircraft I can totally handle, but the "steer with A & D" mechanic is BULLSHIT. I failed Matt's loyalty mission upwards of eight times before I started clawing at my own face and had to stop, because I COULD NOT keep close enough to Nyteblade. Playing as the bisexual Latina President of the United States is seriously the best, though. And I would play the main Asha quest again just for the dialogue. ♥

I also got to spend the week hanging out with my cat and y'all, I keep forgetting how goddamn weird he is. Like, don't get me wrong, I couldn't have ended up with a cat better suited to me if I had designed him, but seriously. Giant fucking weirdo. He does this thing? Where he steals my elastic hairbands, but only if they're used and smell like my hair. And then he will carry them around and play with them and place them in the center of his food and/or water bowls. On the other hand, he is the chillest cuddler of a cat I've ever had. Most cats, you move more than twice and they are out, they can find a better place to sleep. With Fred, I can move me, I can move him, I can lean the chair back, whatever. He will legitimately lay on me for 6 hours or more. I say 6 hours because that is pretty much the longest I can have a cat on me and not fall asleep, but I have spent 12 hours in the recliner and woken up to find him in the same spot, so.

Just surfacing from a deep dive into Hobbit fandom. Or into Bilbo/Thorin, really. I kind of have a fandom hangover? From a poor dismount?

It's like you acquired a fuckton of delicious chocolate and then after you ate a bunch and it was amazing and you went for more, you found out that actually, you had eaten all the chocolate and all the enticing stuff you were staring at was in reality CAROB.

In other words, that feeling of "why does this story have so many fucking kudos when it is blatantly a poor imitation of the awesome story I read earlier" times a bunch of stories in a row = bitterness and ennui. And stalking keelywolfe and scarletjedi for updates.

Can't wait for Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt on Friday! Also excited for: Battle Creek (first ep free on Vudu), Community (March 17!), and CSI: Cyber, because I have a weirdly deep affection for James Van Der Beek? It's not even mostly Dawson's Creek related (I was definitely a Pacey girl); he just seems so willing to laugh at himself and it's really fucking charming.

I've been watching various episodes of QI and the Big Fat Quiz on youtube and being jealous of British game shows. American game shows do not get to tell that many dirty jokes. Noel Fielding requesting "a blowie from the puppet" to participate remains the best.

Currently looking through old ebook recs for authors I need to check for new books. Mary Calmes has something that looks awesome, but after her last few, I'm trying not to get too excited. Spotted an interesting looking Robin Roseau scifi on Amazon and am torn between "space trade and culture clashes are two of my favorites! ROWNT FOREVER" and lingering "it's a TRAP" feelings from the Madison Wolves series (FUCK that series, SO hard).

Fingers crossed for something good, because I am like...three disappointments away from a long cranky wallow in "shit I have read before that I know won't hurt me".

Ebook Feels

strina — Fri, 24 Oct 2014 03:44:44 GMT

Reading so much m/m, omg. How to Raise an Honest Rabbit and Blackbird Knitting by Amy Lane I didn't particularly care for. Her Behind the Curtain was better.

Anne Tenino's Poster Boy was good, as was her short from the Haunted Blender anthology, Horny. I totally hope she pulls a Whitetail Rock and turns that 'verse into a whole thing, btw. The mythology was great.

Read the latest Mary Calmes and was disappointed, but it wasn't the hot mess that Floodgates was. Turns out Sinnerman falls firmly middle of the pack for the Warder series, in terms of quality. Reread Timing, After the Sunset, Cherish Your Name, and Acrobat to remind myself that I really do love her.

Oh! The latest Lyn Gala is fucking amazing and I highly recommend it. Assimilation, Love, and Other Human Oddities. Cannot wait for the next one. It is so fucking good for my xenokink heart, you guys, ROWNT ARE THE BEST. ONDRY'S POV IS THE BEST. EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS BOOK IS THE BEST.

Heidi Cullinan's latest, Tough Love, was pretty good; I didn't like it as much as the preceding book, but a lot of that is probably my casino/logistics feels. I did have to check out for a big chunk of the big emotional unburdening scene because explicit needleplay makes me yeesh.

Kendall McKenna's newest addition to the Strength of the Wolf series was really good for big chunks (new guys comes in and cleans house is a weirdly big trope with me, I'm discovering), but felt like it got a bit muddled toward the end.

FINALLY read Xanthe's Ricochet and enjoyed it overall (didn't have to skip big chunks like I did Coming Home!), but the spoiler billionaire played weirdly for me. Would absolutely buy another book in the series, although not the direct sequel about the widowed sub events seemed to set up. That, I would skip.

Read MJ O'Shea's Loveblood and it was superweird, in that it was an a/b/o fic with fade-to-black yet still alluded to knotting? I am not sure how that reads if you're not familiar with the trope. I am also not sure what the hell was up with the pacing in that book. There was a fuckload of pining, but the obstacles got cleared up real fast once the alpha had one conversation with his parents about a fact he'd known apparently for months. Also there's a whole orientation swap that never really gets explored/explained. Would not recommend.

Currently deep in a pile of Megan Derr. Sad forever that Midsummer Baker and The Jewels of Bangkok aren't full-length novels, because I heart them deeply. I like Stone Rose a lot; Poison made me crazy. The villain literally tells someone her motive and he spends like two chapters going NO, that CAN'T be what she meant! I couldn't even with that. Also, do not read that shit out of order because a big chunk is devoted to a couple from previous books. The Bastard Prince was pretty good for the most part; I called most twists ahead of time, but that may just be my extensive soap opera background. I really liked Of Last Resort - seriously, you guys, she gives such good worldbuilding - but not In Despair. Torn on whether or not to read With Pride. The King's Harem was good, although I wish we'd gotten more Fahima, because I love her.

Still love Dance with the Devil - and that 'verse - the most.

ETA: Expanded/error corrected now that I'm not on my phone.

So, Kindle Unlimited

strina — Sat, 11 Oct 2014 00:06:32 GMT

You know, Amazon's second stab at ebook libraries. Personally, I'm finding it a fuck of a lot more useful than the Lending Library.

I don't think I'd pay $9.99 a month every month, but I HIGHLY recommend at least giving the free trial a whirl, especially if you like queer and/or indie ebooks. I've picked up a bunch of stuff - since I don't have wireless access, I've been using the apartment complex's computer to download the allowed 10 books to USB, return them, and download 10 more, repeat as needed. When your Kindle syncs, all books not currently checked out will be removed from your device.

I read a few articles about how the authors are getting paid and it looks like some people get paid as soon as the book is downloaded, but a lot don't receive payment unless the book has synced past 10%?

Recommendation time! I would definitely suggest getting all four anthologies Megan Derr has made available, since they're normally on the higher end (for m/m - the f/f book is right on average). If you have an interest in Robin Roseau (TRAP!), I would grab them on a trial basis, because, as I've ranted before, there is EXTREMELY shady stuff re: consent. I won't lie; I'm still acquiring her books, because MAYBE THIS TIME. I like the writing! It's just that inevitably, the relationship dynamic will take a turn that enrages me (FREE MICHAELA).

Go the Fuck to Sleep is available! I Think I Am In Friend-Love With You was fucking adorable. I grabbed a bunch of meta-fantasy, like NPCs, The Dark Lord's Handbook, Off to Be the Wizard, and Critical Failures (all as yet unread).

Evan Currie, aka Tenhawk, has a lot of books on offer. I'd recommend Steam Legion in particular. Seal Team 13 made me sad, but that's probably because I'm emotionally attached to the fanfic version, which has Xander and logistics and ALL the crossovers (Darien from Invisible Man, Sara from The Craft, Sam from Supernatural, Dade from Hackers, Jake from Jake 2.0, and others all on a special monsterhunting squad? MY BELOVED FOREVER).

Handily, if you search an author name instead of going to their author page, the filter options on the left will let you isolate Kindle Unlimited eligible books, if any qualify.

ETA: Also, there is just a fuckload of porn. So if you crave some centaur gangbangs or gay Krampus action or forbidden triceratops love, but don't want it showing up in your Kindle items forever, Kindle Unlimited is THERE FOR YOU.

GUYS GUYS GUYS

strina — Sat, 17 May 2014 23:53:32 GMT

Lomonaaeren is on the AO3, too! So anybody who loves Harry/Draco, but hates ff.net: PREPARE FOR A BEAUTIFUL ONCOMING STORM OF EPICNESS. Not all of her fics have been ported over - ff.net is clocking in at 318 stories while the AO3 is showing 234 - but it's still a couple million words of awesome. Like, literally. As in, when I did a spotlight list of my favorites in 2012, she was clocking in at 218 stories and 3.7 million words posted in under five years. She is an extraordinary machine.

Apparently she joined a while ago? But since ff is the third easiest archive to download from (AO3, then TtH, then ff, because every downloader ever interfaces with ff), I never really had a reason to look for her elsewhere and then I google searched because I was too lazy to pick her profile out of my favorites and bam!

Anyway, I have to quote my previous rec here: "I also find her endlessly fascinating...she writes in only one fandom, and 95% of her fics are the same pairing, yet there's such a breadth to her work. She's written, what, four or five Draco-is-a-Veela stories? But Veela Struck isn't like the Silence trilogy isn't like Jericho Rose isn't like A Year's Temptation. There's a rape recovery story, a story about two survivors bonded in trauma, a steadfast and unrequited devotion becoming new love story, a story about circumstance and inevitability and incompatible obligations. I love that a lot, the way she keeps turning the ideas that interest her over to find new angles instead of giving up on them after a try or two."

ALSO THERE ARE AT LEAST TWO MORE DRACO-IS-A-VEELA STORIES SINCE THEN AND THEY ARE AMAZING. GLORY BE IS DRACO THE VEELA ASSASSIN AND THEY FALL IN LOVE BETWEEN MURDER ATTEMPTS. A CHOICE OF WINGS HAS HARRY THE VEELA MATCHMAKER AND AWESOME SYMPATHETIC MAGIC AND DRACO THE INCREDIBLY PICKY. SHE SHOULD TEACH A MASTERCLASS IN THIS SHIT.

Also if you dig Harry/Draco/Snape, enjoy at least half a million words of poly goodness.

Now I'm going to go read some Benevolently Snarky Dark Lord Harry, because it is amazeballs.

So Full of Judgment

strina — Sat, 12 Apr 2014 02:59:07 GMT

Like, I have not historically had the stamina to mod something like a big bang (I very much want to someday, or rather, I want someone to do a recs big bang and I think I am the only one who wants that, and therefore). So I shouldn't be shouting things at my screen quite so much.

BUT SERIOUSLY, MASTERLIST YOUR COMPLETED ENTRIES. AND MARK WHAT ROUND YOU ARE ON. I SHOULD NOT SO VERY OFTEN BE REDUCED TO GOING THROUGH YOUR COMM'S ENTIRE ARCHIVE/CALENDAR AND LOOKING FOR COMPLETED ROUNDS BASED ON NUMBER OF POSTS IN A GIVEN MONTH.

And if you ARE going to make me link to an entire month instead of a single neat post, please make all posts FIT IN ONE MONTH. There are only a handful of bangs where they legitimately NEED multiple posting months and I haven't even looked at those bitches yet!

On the other hand, GUYS. Did you know that South Park fandom has an AMAZINGLY WELL-ORGANIZED big bang? I LOVE THEM. They're on friggin' round five! Well, technically, three - they do a big bang, then a reverse bang, then a big bang, etc. SOUTH PARK FANDOM. NEVER SAW THAT COMING.

On the other other hand, there are so many big bangs that have zero rounds completed even though they'd gotten all the way to artist claims and it just makes me sad.

Temporary Big Bang Post

strina — Sun, 06 Apr 2014 03:56:48 GMT

Still editing, but I don't want this to be yet another thing I private-post and forget about.

Okay! Some things:

1) If you know of a big bang or reverse bang not listed here, please comment! If it is a minibang, I do not really care. I'm just listing the minis I randomly stumble across.

2) Yes, I'm really keeping all the deleted and defunct comms on here forever. A little bit just for reference, a little bit because some of them actually completed rounds before they destructed, and a lot because sometimes they randomly phoenix back up.

3) HP fandom is STILL kicking everybody's ass at this, and I love them the most. Like, to the point where I feel kind of hipster-y, because I WAS THERE FOR THE ORIGINAL, MAN. SPN is hard on their heels, though.

4) I kind of want to get into South Park fandom now, their big bang is JUST THAT LOVELY.

RELATEDLY. If you mod a big bang, PLEASE DO A MASTERLIST OF CONTRIBUTIONS. Or make a tag and make everyone use it, whatever. All of those asterisks down there? Those are rounds without comprehensive tags/masterlists, so I had to link to multiple calendar months and it is sloppy and I do not like it. Seriously, look at Starsky & Hutch fandom. LOOK AT IT.

Ace Attorney:

aceattorneybigbang Rounds completed: first round in progress

Alice in Wonderland:

acaucusrace DELETED
aiw_big_bang Rounds completed: 1 2

Almost Human:

almosthumanbang Rounds completed: first round in progress

Animorphs:

anibigbang Rounds completed: first round in progress

As the World Turns:

lurebigbang Rounds completed: 1 2
nukebigbang Rounds completed: 1 2 3

Arrow:

arrowbigbang Rounds completed: first round in progress (?)

Avatar: The Last Airbender:

avatarbigbang Rounds completed: 1 2 (minibang)
banked_flame Rounds completed: 1

Axis Powers Hetalia:

hetalia_bigbang Rounds completed: 0

Babylon 5:

babylonbigbang DELETED

Battlestar Galactica:

bsg_bigbang Rounds completed: 1 2
pilotsbigbang Rounds completed: 1

Black Butler:

devils_waltz Rounds completed: 1

Black Jewels:

bjt_bigbang Rounds completed: 1 second round cancelled third round in progress

Bleach:

bleach_bigbang DELETED
bleachbigbang Rounds completed: 1 2 3 (minibang)

Bones:

bones_bigbang DELETED

BtVS/AtS:

buffy_bigbang Rounds completed: 0

Castle:

castlebigbang DELETED
rysito_big_bang Rounds completed: 0

Charmed:

charmedbigbang Rounds completed: 0

Community:

community_bbang Rounds completed: 1

Criminal Minds:

bau_bigbang Rounds completed: 1
cm_bigbang Rounds completed: 1 2 3

Crossovers:

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sncross_bigbang Rounds completed: 1 2 3 4 5 *
superwho_bb/superwho_bang Rounds completed: 1 2
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swl_bang Rounds completed: 0

CSI:

csi_bigbang Rounds completed: 1 * 2

D.Gray-Man:

dgm_bigbang Rounds completed: 1 2

Dark Angel:

da_reversebang Rounds completed: 1 second round in progress
darkangel_bb Rounds completed: 1 2 3 fourth round planned

DC Comics:

batman_bigbang DELETED
dcu_bang Rounds completed: 1 2 third round in progress
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roguesbang Rounds completed: 1 second round in progress
superbat_bb Rounds completed: 1 2

Digimon:

digiventurebang Rounds completed: first round in progress (?)

Divergent:

divergentbb Rounds completed: first round in progress

Doctor Who/Torchwood:

ianto_bigbang Rounds completed:
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vortexbigbang Rounds completed: 0
who_reversebang Rounds completed:
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DOGS: Bullets and Carnage:

dogsbigbang DELETED

Dragon Age:

dragonagebb Rounds completed: 1 2 3 (reverse bang)* fourth round in progress

Dragonball Z:

dbzbigbang DELETED

Fairy Tales:

thenowhereplace Rounds completed: 0

Final Fantasy:

megaflare_ff Rounds completed: 1 * 2

Fire Emblem:

fe_bigbang Rounds completed: 1

Firefly:

firefly_bigbang Rounds completed: 1

Fringe:

fringebigbang Rounds completed: 0

Fullmetal Alchemist:

fma_big_bang Rounds completed: ...1?
fmabigbang Rounds completed: 1 2 3 4 5

GI Joe:

gijoebb Rounds completed: first round in progress

Glee:

Beyond Dapper's Blaine Big Bang Rounds completed:
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Good Omens:

goodomensbang Rounds completed:

Gossip Girl:

xoxobigbang Rounds completed:

Grimm:

grimm_bang Rounds completed:

Gundam Wing:

gw_bigbang Rounds completed:

Hannibal:

hannibal_bb Rounds completed:

Harry Potter:

acciobigbang DELETED
bangbellatrix Rounds completed: 0
big_bang_hd - THE ORIGINAL. Rounds completed:
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pansy_bigbang Rounds completed: 0
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Snupin: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut! Rounds completed:
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Threesome Big Bang Rounds completed:
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Hawaii 5-0:

five0bang Rounds completed:
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Heroes:

heroes_bigboom Rounds completed:

High School Musical:

hsmbigbang Rounds completed:

Homestuck:

god_tier Rounds completed:

House:

house_bigbang Rounds completed:

How to Train Your Dragon:

httyd_bigbang Rounds completed:

Inception:

inception_bang Rounds completed:
i_reversebang Rounds completed:

James Bond:

00q_bb Rounds completed:
bondvillains_bb Rounds completed:

Kingdom Hearts:

khbigbang Rounds completed:

Legend of the Seeker:

lots_big_bang DELETED
lotsbigbang Rounds completed:

Leverage:

thebigbangjob Rounds completed:

Life on Mars:

lom_bigbang Rounds completed: 1

Marvel Comics:

agentofshieldbb Rounds completed:
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Mass Effect:

mebigbang Rounds completed:

Merlin:

aftercamlann Rounds completed:
armor_bigbang DELETED
boxofmagic Rounds completed:
Merlin Big Bang - Russian. Rounds completed:
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paperlegends Rounds completed:
whizzbangpop Rounds completed:

Multifandom:

100k_supernova Rounds completed:
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bigbadaboum French. Rounds completed:
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bigbangitalia - Italian. Rounds completed:
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Two multifandom challenges I've seen referred to as "big bangs", but they have no multimedia aspect, so I don't count them as such:

nafi_bigbang
Epic Proportions

IDK what to do with this:

t_31_bang/t_31_bang/t_31_bang

And now there are mini-bangs? Fannish drift is weird, you guys.

losers_minibang
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Everything Is Terrible

strina — Sun, 02 Feb 2014 19:13:54 GMT

I feel just really nervous and restless, which is not at all a good sign of things to come in my brain. It was just a really bad week, you guys. Week and a half, really. I was already edging myself toward a panic attack and then I worked my manager's shift on Saturday (for which I got paid NOT A DIME, because Monday was a bank holiday and so I was still under 40 hours), and then some stuff when down with a guy on my floor at the apartments that was just - awful and dumb and gave me literal nightmares, because there's a guy sexually harrassing you, and then there's a guy sexually harrassing you who lives in your building, likes to listen for movement in the hall outside his door (and you have to pass his door, it's the only to the safe stairs OR the elevator) so he can pop out and make people interact with him, and SURPRISE! who knows which apartment you're in, even though the hallway is constructed in such a way that he literally cannot have seen you go in there from his apartment. Also, he's persistent enough to knock on a door for hours with no encouragement.

There's since been a police report, because I didn't know at the time that you even could call the police for stuff like that if there weren't threats or something physical.

And then the friend that I work with, who persuaded to get this job, had her last day Friday and left me with a manager that I kind of want to yell at a lot. Which is complicated by the fact that when I was hired, our district manager was very careful to ask if I would have a problem working under a manager younger than me, because they'd had to let somebody go for taking constant issue with her. I do not give a fuck about her age, I care about a) the on-the-job training that I never fucking got, that I have literally been to other branches and seen, b) the fact that this last week makes TWO Saturdays I have had to come in and work on my day off, without pay, and that for NEITHER of them did she give me one of the tip cards we're supposed to get for going above and beyond the job (it's only worth $10, but that is still fucking better than $0), and c) that she's folding volunteer work into her manager position in such a way that she's planning fundraisers for Relay for Life every two weeks and everybody gets voluntold to bring stuff and shamed in front of everybody else if they don't. It's a good cause and all, but I literally cannot afford to spend ten to twenty dollars on it out of every paycheck.

Like I said, not one thing to do with her aga, ALL to do with shitty management choices.

Here, Have Some Book Recs!

strina — Sun, 08 Sep 2013 20:36:53 GMT

So you want to read some queer profic! I salute your hypothetical enthusiasm, but know this: THE REGRETS, THEY ARE COMING FOR YOU.

I am way more familiar with the m/m side of things here, so that is mostly what I'll be talking about. Most of the f/f books I've ended up with either are barely-characterized porn, or feel terribly old-fashioned to me. The m/m folks are like a much more feral version of slash fandom and that leads to awesomeness and, as I said, THE REGRETS.

There is most definitely a hivemind at work, if much less widespread. How can I tell? Hemipenes are now a thing. No, for real, multiple books, different authors. Also, knotting, but that actually may have more to with the fact that fandom is all up on this*.

Some authors/publishers have started adding trigger warnings! Most still don't have any such thing. BRACE FOR UNPLEASANT SURPRISES. I'm lucky to have some fairly specific buttons, but if you have consent issues - it's about as generally rape-y as het romance novels, with more straight-up noncon and less "romantic" dubcon.

Also, you know that author in your fandom who writes a shit-ton and it all sounds neat and then it's medicore to terrible? That author is disproportionately represented here. Stormy Glenn is delicious cotton-candy bad; Joyee Flynn is just bad.

Relatedly, you know how those mediocre to terrible stories have 800 hits, 3 good reviews, and not a bad word anywhere, because nobody wants to piss in the author's cheerios? These authors are also super-present online, so it's hard to find balanced critique. No big deal on fic, you have a backbutton for a reason. THESE ARE BOOKS YOU PAY ACTUAL MONEY TO READ. I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it a lot in the future: I rec one in five of these. I recommend you throw one in ten at a wall. Those are fucking terrible odds.

Read some books and REC THEM TO ME. HELP ME IMPROVE THE ODDS.

Ok, enough hobbyhorsing, on to what you came for.

Ian's Choice, by Odessa Lynne
Wolves' Heat 1
Don’t run if you get caught unless you want claws in your spine and teeth in your neck and two hundred pounds of lust-crazed wolf on your back.

First contact between humans and the alien species they’ve nicknamed “wolves” couldn’t have been more tranquil. The wolves shared their superior technology and knowledge in exchange for a new home, and thousands of wolves abandoned their aging star ships to settle in Earth’s forested mountain regions.

But the wolves held some secrets too close and humanity has begun paying the price.

Once every three years, humans become sexual prey to a species that has no control over the urge to mate because of an unexpected and devastating attraction to human scent.

Heat season has arrived and a pack of wolves are bearing down on Ian.

His only choice, when he’s rescued by an Alpha drawn in by his scent: Submit or die...

Note: OKAY, SO THIS FEELS REALLY A LOT LIKE A CERTAIN GENRE OF TEEN WOLF FIC AND IT IS GREAT FOR ME.

Like, you know all those bastardized a/b/o fics with the mating runs or whatever? THIS. Like, there's not any knotting (lost opportunity!), but other than that, totally THIS. Ian legit teaches classes on surviving a heat if you get caught! There are dominance fights about the tastiest humans! THE WOLVES TAKE HEAT SUPPRESSANTS.

There's a whole human-terrorism plot that I'm kind of whatever about until the bit at the end at the caves, where it gets AMAZING.

Basically, I love this series SO MUCH, you guys. I want there to be like ten more books.

The Jewels of Bangkok, by Megan Derr
Not so long ago, Elton had it all. A loving family, a jewelry business he helped his father run, and the esteemed position of Jeweler Troisieme to Mars. But the revelation of deep betrayals by his father tore his life and his family apart, culminating in a tragedy that forever ruined any chance of happiness for Elton and his sister, Lana. Parents dead, abandoned by friends, and their reputations ruined, Elton and Lana accept the offer of a new life on a planet far away from Mars.

Before settling into their new lives, however, Elton and Lana decide to stop on Bangkok, the notorious 'star of pleasures.' In the place where all dreams come true, all they want is to learn how to be happy again. But everything goes awry when Elton's unmatched skills with gems allows him to spot a fake necklace in a museum, a discovery that leads him straight to the legendary Jewels of Bangkok.

Note: Twincest/threesome. Also, this is such a fairy tale, I love it.

Country Mouse, by Amy Lane and Aleksandr Voinov

Owen may be a bit of a country mouse, but he’s loving his vacation in London. After a long day playing tourist, he’s on the hunt for some cheap beer and a good burger. Instead he finds a man hunting him, an arrogant prick with only one thing on the brain: the kind of meat that doesn’t come on a bun.

Eighty-hour weeks at a trading desk don’t leave Malcolm Kavanagh much time for meaningful relationships. Besides, in his world, everything’s a competition—even sex. When his newest one-night-sub fails to show, Malcolm sets his sights on the pretty young Yank on the bar stool beside him.

Owen’s all for an adventure with a native, but he’s not the pushover Malcolm thinks he is, and Malcolm’s not as shallow as he tries to be. They both soon learn that nothing's too intimate to share with a stranger, and the strangest things happen when two people share the most important pieces of their hearts.

Note: Aleksandr Voinov is the little black dress of co-authors, but this is definitely my favorite of his collaborations. IT IS SECRETLY FULL OF FEELINGS.

Dirty Laundry, by Heidi Cullinan

Entomology grad student Adam Ellery meets Denver Rogers, a muscle-bound hunk of sexy, when Denver effortlessly dispatches the drunken frat boys harassing Adam at the Tucker Springs laundromat. Thanking him turns into flirting, and then, much to Adam's delight, hot sex over the laundry table.

Though Denver's job as a bouncer at a gay bar means he gets his pick of geek-sexy college twinks, he can't get Adam out of his head. Adam seems to need the same rough play Denver does, and it's damn hard to say no to such a perfect fit.

Trouble is, Adam isn't just shy: he has obsessive compulsive disorder and clinical anxiety, conditions which have ruined past relationships. And while Denver might be able to bench-press a pile of grad students, he comes from a history of abuse and is terrified of getting his GED. Neither Denver nor Adam want to face their dirty laundry, but to stay together, they're going to have to come clean.

Note: This was totally a PWP when I first read it, but then she expanded it into a whole novel and it is GREAT. The sex is hot, but the love story is the best part.

Too Stupid to Live, by Anne Tenino

Sam’s a new man. Yes, he’s still too tall, too skinny, too dorky, too gay, and has that unfortunate addiction to romance novels, but he’s wised up. His One True Love is certainly still out there, but he knows now that real life is nothing like fiction. He’s cultivated the necessary fortitude to say “no” to the next Mr. Wrong, no matter how hot, exciting, and/or erotic-novel-worthy he may be.

Until he meets Ian.

Ian’s a new man. He’s pain-free, has escaped the job he hated and the family who stifled him, and is now—possibly—ready to dip his toe into the sea of relationships. He’s going to be cautious, though, maybe start with someone who knows the score and isn’t looking for anything too complicated. Someone with experience and simple needs that largely revolve around the bedroom.

Until he meets Sam.

Sam’s convinced that Ian is no one’s Mr. Right. Ian’s sure that Sam isn’t his type. They can’t both be wrong...can they?
Note: So Anne Tenino is legit one of my favorite authors at this point, to the extent that I'm hoarding my last unread series of hers like a literarily-fixated dragon.

THIS IS THE BEST BOOK SHE'S EVER WRITTEN. Seriously, it is so fucking amazing, ESPECIALLY if you, like me, are a recovering romance novel addict.

...I was going to put a quote here, but it's kind of long, so it's going at the end. Also, I am now reading this for the third time. Damn you, Tenino!

Fettered, by Lyn Gala

Dylan Carter has always played second fiddle to his perfect older brother, but now that brother is implicated in a terrible crime, and Dylan's family is imploding. Dylan can’t hide anymore. Knowing he’s falling apart, he searches for something or someone to hold him together—and lands in a BDSM bar called the Stonewall.

Dylan doesn’t understand Miss Dolphinia, the hard-drinking queen who seems determined to play matchmaker. But more confusing is the way the powerful men in leather make him feel. In her wisdom, Miss Dolphinia sends Dylan off to a back room for his introduction to the world of erotic spankings and bondage.

Dylan’s teacher—for want of a better word—is the very dominant Vin Hauser. Vin likes to play hard, but he’s honest with himself—he knows all those men want is a strong hand, not a long-term relationship. Yet Vin can’t help but hope Dylan might be different.

With controversy over his brother’s sins stirring up danger around him, Dylan needs Vin’s support more than ever. But until he and Vin learn to trust each other, Dylan will have to face his fear and the growing threats alone.

Note: Read the rough draft for free. STILL bought it as soon as I had the money. Lyn Gala's books just get more and more amazing. Shut up, it's totally normal that I'm reccing three of them. This one does deal with physical and emotional abuse of a main character/emotional and sexual abuse by a relative of a secondary character.

Mountain Prey, by Lyn Gala

Stewart Folger lives in the Appalachian Mountains, where people take care of their family and follow the Bible. He feels that Appalachian pull in his blood, but that hasn’t tamed his wild side. A youth full of pranks left him with the nickname Stunt and a preference for danger in and out of bed. Other than a few contrary moonshiners who hate him for philosophical reasons since he’s a forestry technician and federal employee, he doesn’t have a problem in the world. Then one day he runs into Alex Soto, a man out for revenge.

Just out of prison, Alex knows firsthand that the justice system doesn’t treat poor and rich equally, so he’ll have to go outside the law to avenge his brother’s death. When an innocent man lands in the middle of his plans, he doesn't know what to do...other than take him hostage. Unfortunately, he never planned on having to deal with Stunt or with the twisted logic that passes for reasonable in Stunt’s mountain home.

Note: So I was casually interested in this book, and then the phrase shotgun wedding was mentioned and HOLY SHIT, TOTALLY IN. TOTALLY GREAT.

Claimings, Tails, and Other Alien Artifacts, by Lyn Gala

Liam loves his life as a linguist and trader on the Rownt homeworld, but he has ignored his heart and sexual needs for years. He won't risk letting anyone come too close because he won't risk letting anyone see his deeply submissive nature. For him, submission comes with pain. Life burned that lesson into his soul from a young age. This fear keeps him from noticing that the Rownt trader Ondry cares for him.

Ondry may not understand humans, but he recognizes a wounded soul, and his need to protect Liam is quickly outpacing his common sense. They may have laws, culture, and incompatible genitalia in their way, but Ondry knows that he can find a way to overcome all that if he can just overcome the ghosts of Liam's past. Only then can he take possession of a man he has grown to love.

Note: Tripped my embarrassment squick in places, but I love xenokink so hard that I powered through it. The romance is so fucking great, you guys. Involves past sexual abuse of a major character.

I Don't, by Kari Gregg

At least he isn’t pregnant.

Seth Murphy campaigned for Maryland’s Question Six, wildly celebrating the Election Day victory for marriage equality. Divorce attorney and live-in boyfriend Owen, however, believes just as passionately that the gay community should focus on a plurality of equal rights protections instead of allocating so many resources and man-hours to one hot button issue.

Owen won’t marry Seth.

Relationship deteriorating, the couple visits the Murphy farm outside Brunswick for Christmas. Seth’s family never considered that Seth and Owen wouldn’t be first in line for a marriage license as soon as same-sex marriage passed. When they find out there won’t be a wedding, their season of miracles is invaded by pornographic gingerbread cookies, frowning church ladies, and a determined father with a tactical assault shotgun.

Neither Seth, Owen, nor their love may survive the family holiday circus to say, “I don’t.”

Note: Fine, so shotgun weddings are apparently a thing for me? Also, this made me laugh until I fucking teared up.

Concubine, by Jill Knowles

Scholar, captain...war prize. Prince Kael of Korai is stunned when his father gives him to an enemy warlord in a desperate attempt to salvage Korai's reputation. With his country's honor at stake, Kael resolves to submit to Warlord Taren's every debauched whim.

But life in Zandria isn't anything like what Kael imagined. Instead of pain and cruelty, Warlord Taren seduces Kael until the bewildered prince craves his Master's every intimate caress. As he sinks into the decadent, sensual life of a concubine, Kael makes a powerful enemy, one who wants him removed from Zandria by any means necessary. Betrayed by his body, trapped by his honor, Kael must learn to trust his Master or get them both killed.

Note: Dubcon warning! Also, I swear to god, I think she was trying to independently invent ponyplay. It's one of those moments where you just want to grab someone be like "Are you in fandom? YOU SHOULD BE".

Anyway, the magic and the worldbuilding are awesome. I would read like four more of these.

Sno Ho, by Ethan Day

Boone Daniels seems to have trouble finishing things. Along with the half dozen or so novels he's started, only to abandon mid-way through, his love life could be best described as a series of drive-by's.

Boone has spent the past week staying at a ski-lodge in the tiny mountain town of Summit City. He's been using his time alone to write while waiting for his boyfriend to join him for their anniversary.

What happens to Boone when he winds up dumped on the eve of his one-year anniversary and ends up at a bar having one too many cocktails? Wade Walker.

Note: Ethan Day is funny as shit, y'all. He should write romcoms for always.

Acrobat, by Mary Calmes

Forty-five-year-old English professor Nathan Qells is very good at making people feel important. What he’s not very good at is sticking around afterward. He’s a nice guy; he just doesn’t feel things the way other people do. So even after all the time he’s spent taking care of Michael, the kid across the hall, he doesn’t realize that Michael’s mob muscle uncle and guardian, Andreo Fiore, has slowly been falling in love with him.

Dreo has bigger problems than getting Nate to see him as a potential partner. He’s raising his nephew, trying to leave his unsavory job, and starting his own business, a process made infinitely more difficult when a series of hits takes out some key underworld players. Still, Dreo is determined to build a life he can be proud of—a life with Nate as a cornerstone. A life that is starting to look like exactly what Nate has been looking for. Unfortunately for Dreo—and for Nate—the last hits were just part of a major reorganization, and Dreo’s obvious love for Nate has made him a target too.

Note: Ok, Mary Calmes is totally going to be a love it or hate it for you. She writes super idfic-y stuff and she usually has a Stu or almost-Stu, but remember my thing about motherfucking loving idfic? STILL TRUE. And this is idfic with the MOB and a FOUND FAMILY and I am FULL OF FEELS.

Dance with the Devil, by Megan Derr

In a world of demons, goblins, witches, sirens, werewolves, vampires, and so much more, it can be difficult to determine who is guilty of what and why. Chris White is a detective who fearlessly investigates this supernatural world, himself a unique product of it. He will take any case brought to him, but has a particular affinity for helping those who inhabit the poor districts of his city. From strange rituals and runaway vampires, to fighting sorcerers and confronting a demon lord, this paranormal detective will face any challenge—even a dance with the devil.

and

Dance in the Dark, by Megan Derr

At the age of nine, Johnnie lost everything. A quiet, normal child, his life forever changed when his family was attacked by a blood-crazed vampire, leaving his parents dead and Johnnie an orphan.

Now grown, he is the cold, proud, beautiful—but very human—son of the Dracula Desrosiers, who took him in after the tragedy that befell Johnnie's parents. Constantly kept apart for being human, Johnnie chooses to bury himself in the two things he most loves—books and mysteries.

Then he is summoned by a friend to solve a simple mystery involving a pair of Cinderella slippers, and in putting one mystery to rest Johnnie only succeeds in waking several more...

Note: Same series, so you get one note. EVEN IF you are completely over the paranormal detective genre, you should still read these, because Megan Derr is ACTUALLY MAGIC. Most authors do not put this kind of thought and effort into integrating their paranormals into their world. There are dragon fighting pits! There are weird and awesome families (Chris's dad is a ghost! Not, like, has since become a, like his witch mom fell in love with a ghost and eventually, defied the laws of nature!)! There is soulbonding! I love everything!

The Usual Apocalypse, by Christine Price

Relationships can be tricky when people can't lie to you, so Agent Matthew Whitman focuses his unusual powers on solving cases for the Society. When a fellow agent is found murdered, Matt is given a major assignment: find her killer. First he must find Brennan Mitchell, whose brother was a victim in the murdered agent's last case.

For sixteen years Brennan thought his brother was dead. Now, a Society agent is confronting him with the impossible - his brother is alive. While Brennan is grateful to be reconnected with his brother, he doesn't want to be pulled into any Society business. But the attraction between Matt and him is electric. After indulging in sensual encounters together, Brennan finds himself drawn into Matt's investigation, and they become embroiled in something much larger than a run-of-the-mill murder case. Something darker and more dangerous than either man could have ever imagined.

Note: So this is book two of a series, but I didn't actually care for book one and it's only peripherally necessary to the plot. The only necessary thing is Matt and Brennan's AWESOMENESS. I SHIP IT SO FUCKING HARD, YOU GUYS.

Dead Kitties Don't Purr, by Amber Green
People who take their shots and do as they're told have nothing to fear. Right?

The Rabies Z epidemic began and ended in Miami this past summer, didn't it? And that guy my daddy saw at the Jacksonville airport last week was just having an epileptic fit. No cause for alarm. Epilepsy always causes an eighteen-hour hazmat shutdown at a major airport.

So while my twin tours to flog her newest album, here I am, Camie Invisible, parked at this nice, safe college—as far as I can get from the infection and still pay in-state tuition. Only now, my studies have become focused on the fascinating Risa Ruiz. And she has eyes for me.

Isn't this the perfect time for the zombies to show up?

Note: This is my only f/f rec today, so of course it's a zombie story featuring a romantic murder.

Working Stiffs, by Jana Downs
Deadzone 1
After the collapse of civilization, Ager Munez finds work as an agent, helping customers with their zombie insurance needs. He’s a bit of a workaholic and a romantic at heart, but the only romance he’s been experiencing lately involves watching his bosses in tight-fitting jeans on casual Fridays.

Jim and Jason Tanner agree they want a third in their relationship, but have never been able to find the right man. When Ager begins working at Deadzone, they know that they’ve found their match. He’s smart, funny, and adorable in a way that should be illegal in at least four sectors.

When a zombie outbreak in Sector 7 requires field representatives, the two know the perfect candidate for the job. Little does Ager know that this mission will test him in ways he’s never been tested and land him not one but two hot men in his bed and his heart.

and

Relay for Life, by Jana Downs
Deadzone 2.
Andrew Ainsley is a Deadzone-sponsored runner participating in the most intense cross-country race of his life. However, a double marathon through the wilds outside the safety zones will bring trouble he didn’t anticipate.

Marcel Carter has been in love with Andrew since he started running for Deadzone five years previously but never had the courage to ask him out. It isn’t until Andrew is lost that he realizes he’s been wasting time.

Matthew Gibson volunteers frequently for dangerous field missions, leaving little time for real relationships. He thinks he’s ready to put that life behind him until his cousin, Brooklyn, asks him to help rescue Andrew. When the three meet, sparks fly, and Matthew thinks he’s finally found what he’s been missing.

As they fight to survive zombies unlike any they’ve faced before and uncover dangerous government conspiracies, they’ll have to determine if their newfound love is real or if it only exists in the dead zone.

CAN WE TALK FOR A MINUTE ABOUT HOW THIS WORLDBUILDING IS LEGIT MY FUCKING FAVORITE?

IN POST-APOCALYPSE AMERICA, THE NATIONAL SPORT IS LONG DISTANCE FUCKING RUNNING, YOU GUYS. THERE IS A ZOMBIE INSURANCE COMPANY WITH BADASS RETRIEVAL SQUADS.

I LOVE IT THE MOOOOOST.

Also, it looks like there are going to be two more books, minimum**, and I am fucking STOKED.

**Brooklyn and Daniel have to have a book and I am now kind of thinking soldier-boy with the dog might end up with them, and there's got to be a book dealing with what's-his-face, the latent, and possibly Jack gets a book, in which case I would actually really love the romantic endgame being primary partners with an open relationship.

Too Stupid to Live quote:
Jurgen crossed his arms over his chest. "Sam, stay away from Ian."
"What?" Like Sam should stay upwind of him, or something along the lines of "don't let him stick his dick in you"?
"He's not your type. He's a manwhore. He's more likely to fuck you than date you. You deserve better than that."
"Uh..." Wait, wasn't Jurgen Ian's cousin? "I do? I mean, I know, but it's kinda weird-"
"He's not 'relationsip material'."
"He's my future husband." Did I say that out loud? Sam clapped a belated hand over his mouth.
Jurgen stared at him a minute before dropping his forehead into his palm, growling to himself and massaging his temples. "Ian's no one's future husband." Jurgen pulled his head up wearily. "He's got...the fuck are those 'issues' again? Nik's always going on about them."
Sam dropped his hand from his mouth. "Commitment issues?" Nik had issues with commitment issues.
Jurgen snapped his fingers. "Commitment issues. He'd use you, Sam. He'll force himself to find some suitable woman and start producing children any year now, and he'll still be fucking guys on the side."
Sam gaped "Seriously?"
Jurgen rolled his eyes. "Probably not," he admitted, then made a face like he'd licked a toad. "But he might. I've seen him try to do it before. And if he does, you don't want to be his convenient fuck on the side."
Reformed rakes make the best husbands. Sam managed to stop himself from blurting that out.
Jurgen gave him a long, silent look. Then he sighed. "Fine." He turned and and walked away down the hall.

*AMANUENSIS WROTE A BOOK, Y'ALL. I literally shouted holy fuck when I read the author bio. I honestly can't remember who's fannishly out under their professional pseuds, so I'm leery to name names, but there are three or four just off my flist. It's like seeing a familiar author pop up in your new fandom, except superweird.

I Am Still Baffled and Ecstatic

strina — Tue, 09 Jul 2013 15:12:17 GMT

So...a week ago, I had a perfect day.

Not a good day or even a great day, it was ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. I got exactly enough sleep, everything I ate was delicious, I did everything I wanted, I didn't worry about anything, it was amazing.

Like, if heaven was time loop, it would be July 2, 2013.

I Am Freaking Out

strina — Thu, 17 Jan 2013 14:55:10 GMT

My application is being reviewed for an apartment and I am just, terrified either way, kind of? Because living on my own has historically NOT GONE WELL for me, but you guys, THIS APARTMENT. It is literally at least 10 times better than anything else I could afford in Chickasha, because it's income based housing in a historical building that just went through a $7 million remodel. THEY ARE THE ONLY APARTMENTS IN TOWN WITH ELEVATORS. It would be 564 sq. foot for $415/mo! I LITERALLY GOT TO GO THROUGH THE BUILDING AND JUST PICK WHICH APARTMENT LOOKED GOOD TO ME, BECAUSE A) THEY ALL HAVE INDIVIDUAL FLOOR PLANS AND B) THEY'RE ALL CURRENTLY EMPTY.

So I could use some luck, if you've got it to spare.

I Need Book Recs

strina — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 21:10:11 GMT

For my thirteen-ish cousin Michael, specifically. He actually likes fantasy (his favorite author is Rick Riordan)! I am so excited, y'all, the rest of the family is all Dean Koontz and Stephen King. I very much wish to encourage this, so I want to give him ebooks for Christmas, but I am kind of having trouble thinking of good YA with male protagonists. Like, I've got Only You Can Save Mankind and The Demon's Lexicon and the Owlknight trilogy, but I am blanking. That branch of the family is also more religious/conservative, so I hestitate to rec things like Good Omens.

HELP, PLEASE?

Most Interesting Day at Work Ever?

strina — Wed, 25 May 2011 16:36:47 GMT

So I was at work yesterday when a tornado hit. Like, I was literally in the middle of processing a check when Mandy saw the edge of the tornado and we had to sprint for the bathrooms. Sadly, the store was not destroyed and my car only lost the back window (Dad was briefly all excited that we might get to total it before, like, the engine falls out).

Everyone was completely uninjured, so I get to be flippant.

Hello, LJ!

strina — Thu, 17 Mar 2011 13:06:10 GMT

So it's been a while since I crossposted? Here's what you missed (rec wise):

Quantum Shenanigans (The Schroedinger's Timeline Remix) - Time travel.

Monster Baby (Love Is Crazy) - Nonhuman lovers.

Take Only What You Can Carry: Even More Treks Through the Multiverse - Crossovers.

Dream Bigger - Arthur/Eames stories (Inception).

This Girl Is Taking Bets - Stories featuring female characters.

I Get My Kicks Above the Waistline, Sunshine - Gen.

Words Are a Terrible Thing to Waste - Prompts.

Don't Come Over All "Indier Than Thou" On Me - Small fandoms.

Niche Is Neat - Small fandoms.

And Not Even Gravity Will Hold Us Down - Inception fic.

A Dream Is a Wish We Can Steal - Inception fic.

Minilist: Again/Before - Harry Potter time travel stories.

Sing We Joyous, All Together - Yuletide

Minilist: Combat Baby (Don't Go Quietly) - Terminator: the Sarah Connor Chronicles fic.

Minilist: Privacy Issues - ESP.

Minilist: The Operations of Our Understanding - Sherlock fic.

But Fish Like Bikes - Het.

Minilist: To Rise, And Fight Again - Jim Kirk.

Minilist: Your Inevitable Unhappy Ending - The Social Network fic.

Minilist: I End And You Begin Who Can Say Where - Fusion fic.

Minilist: Where Would We Be (If I Were Yours) - The BDSM 'verse(s).

Minilist: We'll Be Someday - Jackie/Hyde fic (That '70s Show).

Minilist: Nobody Loves You When You're Dead - Zombies.

Minilist: All Roads Lead - Marcus/Esca stories (The Eagle).

Minilist: Cherry - Virgins.

Minilist: Comforts Other Than Love - Gen.

I kind of feel bad about how few lists I did, but hey, big bang!

strina — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 22:26:20 GMT

Holy crap, I wish I had a better memory, or at least a better sense of "LIFE-CHANGING EVENT! WRITE THIS SHIT DOWN."

I am once again trying to map my fannish timeline, if you're wondering.

I mean, some people can track their first foray into fandom back to the day, but I didn't get pimped in by a friend. I went looking for spoilers and found fic completely by accident. Then I spent an indeterminate while as a monofannish het-OTPing feral fan before I even found Fanfiction.net (in March or April of 2003 - I joined 05/03, but I remember it took me a while to figure out how potentially awesome Author Alerts were). There was a forum? And the Dog-Eat-Dog Archive, which I can't even find referenced anywhere anymore.

And all this went down four computers and three email addresses ago, so CLUES ARE SCARCE.

And it's not a big deal, I guess, it's just. Fandom, you know, this giant amazing ball of crazy where I'm my most honest, my most engaged and passionate and joyful. It deserves an anniversary, okay.

"Job" Is Not "Life"; "Job" Is, In Fact, Detrimental To "Life"

strina — Fri, 01 Oct 2010 16:13:57 GMT

You know, I feel like I'm complaining about my job a little too much lately - I try to keep my journal(s) primarily fannish - but I am just. At the end of my rope with this.

I'm a "cashier" at a mostly-Oklahoma based ranch/farm/home store called Atwoods. I say "cashier" because there is no actual job description and things I have been/am required to do include, but are not limited to, processing regular customer transactions, processing customer service transactions (returns/exchanges/irate customers), supervising other cashiers, answering phones, training new employees (and not just new cashiers! I trained a dude on floor procedures last month and I have never been assigned to the floor), training long-term employees on new systems, tech support for new systems, assembling merchandise like furniture, toys, and barbeque grills, cleaning ALL the things, store safety walks, clerical work (cutomer records/making new hire packets), merchandising (from facing all the way up to designing displays that will be photgraphed and sent in to corporate), and, of course, customer assistance. To help with customer assistance we cashiers are supposed to familarize ourselves not only with the layout of the store, but with every product we carry. No, I am not joking. I have been told that I should educate myself on farm equipment; no, they have no educational materials; yes, they mean on my own time.

I've worked here just shy of three years (my date-of-hire is November 11). I have vision insurance for $5/month. As a "part-time" employee, I don't qualify for health insurance, sick-leave, or paid vacation. More than ten absences in a year is grounds for termination, unless you managed to get a doctor's note with that insurance they apparently expect to have fallen out of the sky. When I hit two years here, I did qualify for one week's unpaid vacation, that must be scheduled at least two week's in advance, and cannot take place in November or December. As a part-time employee, I have no set work schedule and usually work five days a week, six to nine hours a day, and clock an average of 30 - 36 hours a week. Sometimes I'm scheduled as light as 24 hours, sometimes as many as 43. Shifts can begin anytime after 6:40 am and end anytime before 8:30 pm.

(Next week's schedule, for example, is Sunday - off, Monday - 6:45 to 3:45, Tuesday - 11:30 to close (doors close at 8 unless there are still customers inside, in which case we wait for them to finish and it takes as long as it takes, and then it takes approximately 20 minutes to close everyone out), Wednesday - off, Thursday - 6:45 to 3:45, Friday - 6:45 to 3:45, and Saturday - 10 to 4. Accounting for lunches and end-of-day countdowns, I'll clock about 40 hours.)

I'm paid by the hour, at $8.25/hour. I haven't had a raise in 8+ months, and am making $.25 more than new hires, at this point.

I have to stand the entire shift. Cashiers are the only employees in the store not allowed to eat anything, and we are only allowed to drink water, and even that only when there are no customers around. If a customer comes up to the register with multiple bags of feed (between 15 to 50 pounds per bag, with most right at 40), we are required to lift each bag to check for hidden merchandise.

I go home aching and angry and completely unable to deal with people, 8 days out of 10. My back hurts every day, whether I've worked or not. I can only bear to trade a day without people for a day with friends every couple of months. Increasingly often, I'll go home and just cry because this job makes me so fucking miserable.

I hate it. Customers scream in your face and swear at you and call you a fucking idiot bitch and they are never asked to leave and you are not allowed to walk away or respond any less politely. Management tells you that federal law says we cannot accept returns on merchandise that's had gas and oil in it into the store, you tell a customer that, customer says all sorts of things to you, you call management, and management tells them it's "not a problem at all", so that you look like the problem. I am so fucking sick of having to pretend to laugh at stupid fucking jokes I have heard literally thousands of times (you check a customer's $100-bill, they say they just made it this morning = several times a day, five days a week for 35 months = LITERALLY THOUSANDS OF TIMES HAVE I HEARD THIS). I hate having to pretend I'm not offended by their racist jokes and sexist comments, that I'm not creeped out by men older than my grandfather staring at my boobs, asking where I live, am I married, what time do I get off work. I REALLY FUCKING HATE that when a customer tries to bully me into going to church/accepting Jesus/whatever evangelical bullshit they're selling, all that matters is that I not offend THEM. I am fucking furious that company policy is that I am not allowed to say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas, and that our new store manager is exactly the type of guy that will write me up for not following it (the old store manager let me get away with it).

I hate that Oklahoma is an at-will employment state and so I can be fired for any reason/no reason/things that happen off the clock and away from the store (and one guy actually was, so it's not even theoretical anymore).

EVERY PART OF IT FUCKING SUCKS, OKAY, AND YES, IT COULD BE WORSE, BUT IT COULD BE A FUCK OF A LOT BETTER, TOO.

Big Bang Going Live!

strina — Sun, 19 Sep 2010 19:54:42 GMT

Okay, so for those just tuning in, I've been working on a big female characters rec project for ladiesbigbang and today is the day I unlock it for all to see! 160 recs in 74 fandoms, all about the ladies: you can go here for the index post or just start reading my recs at the comm notwellbehaved.

Hilarious Convergence:

strina — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 01:24:27 GMT

Reading Mythbusters fucking machines porn while listening to this song.

Robots need love, too
They want to be loved by you,
They want to be loved by you...

That Time Again

strina — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 23:13:01 GMT

I'm buckling down to update bigbangindex's masterlist of big bang challenges and I am a-scared. The last update brought the grand total to 117 and I've got ten more bookmarked, plus whatever I'm going to find trawling the tags on DW and LJ and the AO3 (and possibly IJ? I am not really familiar with the platform, but large chunks of HP fandom decamped there, so it's probably worth looking into).

Man, this would be so much easier if 3/4 of my results weren't comms for the band Big Bang.

But! If you know of any applicable challenges that aren't on this list or in its comments (and also aren't fantasybigbang, deancasbigbang, inception_bang, whizzbangpop, merlinbb_rpf, gleefsbigbang, khrminibigbang, lotsbigbang, oc_bigbang, sgareversebang, bigbangnitro, warbigbang, or tvd_bigbang), PLEASE DROP A LINE. I am also going to be doing a big post of this is abandoned/in signups/posting/etc.

I Kind Of Want To Kiss My Screen Right Now, No Lie

strina — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 04:47:00 GMT

I am so in love with Opera, you guys. I used Firefox until it started crashing my computer and then I switched to this and I LOVE IT SO MUCH. IT IS THE ONLY BROWSER I HAVE EVER USED THAT HAS VIEWING OPTIONS I CAN REACH INTUITIVELY. I CHAIRDANCE EVERY TIME I USE FIT-TO-WIDTH OR CHANGE SOMEONE'S INCREDIBLY HORRIFIC DARK-BLUE-ON-BLACK COLOR SCHEME TO BLACK-ON-WHITE WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO OPEN A PREFERENCES WINDOW.

Also the ability to open your new tab as a background tab as well as choose whether you want it to open to the far-right or directly next to your active tab. Also the ability to open up not only your last session, but any session you've ever taken the time to save (063010 has a completely different set of fandoms than 071510!).

BUT MOSTLY THE VIEWING THING.

Re: Transformers

strina — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 23:59:22 GMT

Never before have I look at a fandom and said "Fuck your sprawling daily-life epics, just GIVE ME YOUR DEVIANT PORN!"

But, possbily relevant to your interests: How Transformers Have Sex by dunmurderin. Favorite quote? "Naturally, since Transformers was originally (and still is) a children's toyline/cartoon/comic series, we're probably never going to see anything more intimate than a kiss, but as with any other fandom, give fans an inch and we'll have people having sex on it."

I Very Much Want To Punch LJ in the Face Right Now

strina — Fri, 21 May 2010 01:24:33 GMT

So, I never really filtered my flist before now; every time I checked it, I was reading all 231 personal journals + 15 - 20 (generally low-traffic) comms. I don't want to spend that much time on LJ anymore, so I have been trying to set up some filters so I can read in manageable chunks. Y'know, dropping some inactive/duplicated on DW journals and prioritising journals I don't currently share a fandom/personal relationship with.

The Edit Friends Group Tool HATES ME AND WANTS ME TO CRY MANY BITTER TEARS. Every time I drop some journals and try to save the changes, it shuts down the connection! It only lets me move ONE JOURNAL AT A TIME. I am trying to go from 250 to maybe 75 on my first-tier filter! Too many clickings. But I don't want to delete the whole group and start over, because all my bookmarks/speed dials/etc. point to that one filter.

Am I just DOING IT WRONG?

Stuff I've Been Doing Over There, Volume I

strina — Wed, 19 May 2010 19:26:44 GMT

So, I have been posting stuff for 3W4DW, aka, it's all got a limited-time exclusivity stamp on it. And I've actually decided not to crosspost that even after exclusivity runs out; instead, you get a linkspam.

Rec lists:

Intersections - 50 of my favorite crossovers of all time.

What It Feels Like For a Girl - 50 genderswap/sexswap stories in 18 fandoms.

Send Me an Angel (I'll Never Get to Heaven Remix) - 50 Dean/Castiel stories.

Occasional - Small fandoms including, but not limited to, White Collar, The Losers, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Leverage, Criminal Minds, In Plain Sight, Primeval, and Community.

Soon to come: prompts list, Jim Kirk list, prolly another small fandoms list, nonhuman lovers list, time travel list.

Personal posts:

It Would Be SO AWESOME - Stories I wish I was reading right now.

Terrible, Horrible, Motherfucking Amazing Stories I Have Loved - Fuck shame, idfic is amazing!

So You'd Like to Like Country Music... - 10 reasons I love country, with examples.