i lie for only you

every time we say goodbye

stigmatize — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 06:18:49 GMT

it is now technically no long my birthday but that was a thing and also i am no longer a teenager and i spent my day letting a small child put stickers on me (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

ALSO my userpic time is up on this account, so. you know what that means

ladon

leaving lj behind feels a little like finally throwing out that one favorite security blanket.

but you know the blanket is covered in poop.

in other news

stigmatize — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 05:21:36 GMT

SUCK IT CHICAGO

saw paranormal activity 3 last night

stigmatize — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 18:55:05 GMT

and all I can say is

FUCK TOBY

something is rotten in denmark and it's this piss poor attitude!

stigmatize — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 19:07:13 GMT

sooooooo last night my computer shut itself off, and now it refuses to boot up. i have no idea what's wrong with it; the normal repaid system does nothing, restoring it does nothing, and all the diagnostic tests i run say it's perfectly fine. sigh.

anywho this means that i will be miss not appearing in this internet for a while, at least in part. i'll be own my mom's computer but not online nearly as often as i usually am.

okay kiss kiss everyone have a good weekend!! hopefully i will be seeing paranormal activity 3 this sunday and be that one chick who screams at everything and embarrasses the whole theater.

four seasons and a movie

stigmatize — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 03:13:26 GMT

the endless nights of genova heights

stigmatize — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 21:47:43 GMT

so, first day of class today!

I went to the bus after frantically realizing my phone was out of power, only to remember that there was a detour because of construction for my usual bus route.

so I run in the opposite direction to the next nearest bus stop, only to see it zoom by when I'm less than half a block away.

so I walk home, and ask my brother (who has been up for a while and is just wandering around the house) if he can give me a ride. at this point, it's a little after 1.

he says no.

because he has a doctors appointment at 2:30 with a twenty minute drive

and needs the next hour to shower and smoke in the backyard

"So you missed your first day of class? That sucks."

YEAH IT FUCKING SUCKS YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT

get out

stigmatize — Thu, 18 Aug 2011 06:07:19 GMT

>apply for early childhood program in may

>get in on wait list

>be told I can't take any early childhood classes for summer term because I'm not officially in the program

>finally finish signing up for liberal arts classes for fall

>have migraine

>get call during migraine from someone in the early childhood program asking why I'm not taking any early childhood classes

>...

hey love live it up

stigmatize — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 08:23:34 GMT

i don't like making twitter hiatus notices because I think no one will catch it

but yo dog tomorrow i'm gonna drive six hours to sleep in the woods for a while so i won't be online or nothing

magic all up in here

four months at sea, four months of calm sea

stigmatize — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 02:03:00 GMT

get a job interview, like a boss

do well at interview, like a boss

nnnnnever get called back, like a boss

MATC's website still makes me strangle puppies. it's not more convenient if i have to call in to find out about any little thing. i guess I'll just have to take three history classes because all my English prereqs disappeared, cool!!

camping next week. crying at the drive already.

pour a little a salt, we were never here

stigmatize — Mon, 04 Jul 2011 02:16:09 GMT

so Assassin's Creed II is in fact super fun, and there is no such thing as being 'too Italian' Cameron, I am no longer listening to your opinions on Vidya Games. Still too broke for DA2, all my cries.

I am a bit sad I missed fireworks because of a headache but what can you do. I didn't want to patriotic anyway.

i wanna do bad things with you

stigmatize — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 04:22:01 GMT

THIS IS A TRUE BLOOD REACTION POST

oh god fairies are we really doing this i guess we are. so they're evil? or at least some of them are?? oh god fairy war. are we really doing this? glitter bombs? really? okay??

ALSO donut get why grandpa stackhouse was necessary. it's not like that was some big mystery that needed to be tied up but now as I actually type this out I realize it was probably a macguffin to make Jason believe Sookie's fairy pipe dream so i d k

REALLY THE BABY IS 'ACTING LIKE A KILLER' REALLY

I love you Laffy but i don't care about this witch subplot

Beel i still don't care. oh you're king good for you idk

HOYT AND JESSICA ARE STILL PRECIOUS and pam and jessica still need to make out or have adventures or something plz

TARA CAGEFIGHTING

TARA MAKING OUT WITH ANOTHER GIRL

TARA MAKING OUT WITH ANOTHER GIRL IN THEIR UNDERWEAR

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

also, dat ending. ERIC THAT'S NOT OKAY. STOP GIVING ME RAPIST VIBES. THAT ENTIRE SCENE WAS SO CREEPY AND UNCOMFORTABLE AUGH AUGH AUGH

in short: still terrible. but lesbians.

and if you have a minute

stigmatize — Tue, 24 May 2011 07:59:17 GMT

stigmatize: why am i sitting here crying to the glee version of 'somewhere only we know'
stigmatize: i can seriously not think of a reason rn
temperamental: i started crying when i remembered some random quote going "sooner or later the starks are right". IRRATIONAL SAD YAY?
stigmatize: oh god now i'm thinking about the starks FUCK YOU JUN
stigmatize: I AM TOTALLY INCONSOLABLE
temperamental: OH GOD I DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE THAT CONNECTION FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
temperamental: I DOOOOOON WANT TO THINK ABOUT SADDDDDDDDDDDD
stigmatize: I'M THINKING ABOUT NED & ARYA & SANSA NOW OH GODDDDDDDDDDDDDD
temperamental: OH SIMPLE THING WHERE HAVE YOU GONE
stigmatize: TASTE THE SAD, JUNNY
temperamental: oh my god all of the sad
temperamental: IS THIS THE PLACE THAT I'VE BEEN DREAMING OF
temperamental: asfhajksfhsdkjfhdskjnfs now i can't get the image of the remaining starks going back to winterfell and
temperamental: /EXORCISES THE SAD
stigmatize: dragging my hands down my face irl STOP ITTTTTTTTTTT
stigmatize: IS THIS THE PLACE YOU USED TO LOVE
temperamental: SCREAMING
temperamental: my emotions MY EMOTIONS

SHRIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK

stigmatize — Sat, 23 Apr 2011 10:22:42 GMT

DRAGON AGE THIS

THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE

WHY DO YOU DO THIS

oh also this is about origins who is the slowest slowpoke yep it's me what was i talking about oh right

WHY DID I NOT SAVE FOR THREE HOURS

WHY DID I THINK ALISTAIR WOULD BE OKAY AND NOT DUMP ME FOR KEEPING LOGHAIN ALIVE AND NOT LETTING HIM BECOME KING

I JUST WANTED HIM TO STAY A WARDEN AND STAY WITH ME FOREVER

NOT LEAVE

AND I WILL REPLAY THOSE THREE HOURS

JUST TO GET HIM TO STAY

WHY BIOWARE WHY

also i just had to google how to give gifts and i am almost done with the game i wager whoops??

but hasn't being right just let you down?

stigmatize — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 00:27:32 GMT

LONG TIME NO UPDATE HUH EL JAY

which isn't to say i'm not on here anymore, because I am. I just ... don't really ever feel like I have enough to say to write up a whole entry on it. Or i've already spammed the shit out of twitter about my immediate right-now feelings. Nothing is v. exciting for me right now I guess.

so HOW ABOUT THAT WISCONSIN COCK-TEASE WEATHER

the water's cold, won't have to fight for long

stigmatize — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 22:30:08 GMT

hells yes let's do this

Pick a character I write, and I will give you the top five ideas/concepts/other I keep in mind while writing that character that I believe are essential to depicting them accurately. Includes both fandom and original characters.

it's that time again

stigmatize — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 06:31:23 GMT

>become a year older

>realize in another year you will no longer be a teenager

>inappropriately flip the fuck out like you do every year

SEE YOU AGAIN IN A YEAR, FOLKS

let's talk about some various medias

stigmatize — Wed, 29 Dec 2010 07:25:13 GMT

1. okay yeah i saw Black Swan

FOR STARTERS i really liked it and thought it was good but like ... it could've been a lot better? as a ballet nerd I was satisfied with all the technical stuff and it's a gorgeously filmed movie, definitely some of the best cinematography i've seen this year, but ... i was a bit disappointed with the literary elements, I guess? well not REALLY because I read a lot of reviews before hand about how they definitely weren't trying for subtlety so I didn't go in with high expectations BUT!! i felt like there was so much more that could've been done relating to the Swan Lake story itself. Now I just feel annoyed every time some article describes it as a MODERN RETELLING because ... no no it's not lmao. two similar elements does not an alternate adaptation make!!

ALL IN ALL I LIKED IT but have no idea how to feel about it, lordy.

2. yeah I got into Homestuck

I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY HERE other than i am captain of ss unpopular fandom opinions and i feel like a 13 y/o yaoi fangirl all over again. Andrew Hussie has a map to the fountain of youth and creepy ass fanfic in my mind.

3. i am pretty sure evil jeff bridges ate your chicken fried rice

Tron Legacy was terrible and i unabashedly enjoyed every second of it

4. the end

YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAH

oh lawd we gonna be talking about sexytimes in here

stigmatize — Sun, 19 Dec 2010 21:24:36 GMT

... OR MORE CORRECTLY, impossible sexytime fantasies and how a lot of people need to get their heads out of their asses and accept that everyone with 'weird' kinks isn't a serial rapist about to go out and sodomize school children with barbed wire in public.

1. How can someone have a (whatever) fantasy?! They want to get (whatever)ed?!

NO DUMBASS THAT'S WHY IT'S A FANTASY. because it's your fantasy, thus you are in complete control of everything even when a lack of control/consent is implicated in your fantasy. Since this control would not be present in a REAL LIFE!!! situation, your argument is dumb.

2. Someone having that kink concerns me. Doesn't that say something about them?

... like what. LIKE WHAT? everybody who likes tentacles is just waiting to snap and go steal and octopus and run around molesting people with it on the street? Do you think everyone who plays GTA or AC is waiting to become an organized crime member who runs over hookers / professional assassin in a lush historical city?

... unless you are one of those people who thinks violent video games are turning THE CHILDRENS into murderers. then this argument makes perfect sense and I approve it 100%

3. LOL this is so gross, I bet this girl who says they're into this is a guy irl

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

YOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUU

4. It's fine if you like this, but you should definitely be more shameful about it!

So you're totes okay with this kink, as long as people are deeply ashamed of having it? what is this i can't even

5. you're a sick fuck.

Well I can't really deny this. FUCK I JUST INVALIDATED EVERYTHING I SAID AW SH--

post a comment to this webzone if you want a pizza roll

stigmatize — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 01:10:25 GMT

i don't expect much out of japanese game series novels. when you've got a big universe with lots of place to expand and explain, it's pretty normal to want to fill in some of the stuff that gets left out of the main game. sometimes these can give us insight to the characters we didn't have before, different outlooks on certain in-game events, or just some gay-ass fanservice to appease all the slobbering fangirls.

but when a novel starts fucking around with some pretty big pre-established events that leave you going

what?
huh?
what?

it's probably not a good sign.

so when i heard they were coming out with a raven backstory novel, i thought it was cool. y'know, getting to know a pretty mysterious character, filling in some of his history, good stuff! there were a few translations floating around about names and central events, but no real large parts. that's usually where this stuff ends. vesperia isn't a huge fandom, and people usually don't bother to go through translating the entire novel!

until this happened.

the first part is pretty darn good, i'll admit. not master story telling or character development, but it's a jrpg. i don't expect that shit from the game, so i sure as hell won't have those standards for the novel.

everything seems to be going okay; nothing to really complain about. then the third chapter starts and it all goes to shit.

1. WHO’S DOING WHAT? WHY?

now the third chapter opens with Raven (Damuron or something i guess) and his brigade receiving orders. These guys and about 1,000 other troops are ordered to go Mount Temza- a place on the continent exact opposite of Imperial territory, which none of them ain't never heard of, and aren't even told why the fuck they're going there.

wait. slow down asshole. wait.

why would the largest military power on the planet give a flying fuck about what's going on in the middle of nowhere, which at this point we have no reason to believe they have any stake in. so we're supposed to believe that they'd willing to send out 1,000 soldiers to do something in somewhere for some reason. Okay.

So then we’re off! Everybody gets on boats and there’s something about how the knights from better families get the better boats and there’s something about injustice and prejudice blah blah blah

And then as soon as they’re in the water we get to see these idiots start getting picked off like sitting ducks from a cloud of flying demon birds. we can assume that since this huge enemy force was able to meet them in the middle of the fucking ocean, that they were expecting them. this begs the question; why the hell would the Empire send a fleet of ships to an aerial fight? I guess they figured that they didn’t need to send that many people out but wanted to get them there fast so they sent a bunch out at sea so they could have a buffer of the ones that would be fucking eaten by the bird monsters waiting for them there. I mean they could’ve just sent some knights along a land route where they’d have things like cover, easier communication through the ranks, but I guess that stuff ain’t important. who organized this again? Who’s running anything at all? why is there no information being released to the general military at all? who’s in charge here?

… oh. right.

2. THE KNIGHTS GET MAD, AND THEN I DO
so not everyone dies and they finally get to mt. bumfuck nowhere and find some other troops there waitin for them at the bottom of the mountain. they say they’re a defense force for … what? what are they defending? It sure ain’t any imperial land cause the only big city of any importance is way to the fucking south of them and is run by the Guild, which the Empire doesn’t even care about protecting. it ain’t that little oasis village we see in game cause they’re way north of them, and there’s nothing important there to defend anyway. But I guess there’s still a defense force there defending something from … something.

so they go up a mountain and find the kritya village there which seems to be perfectly fine, despite all the monster bodies outside it. The knights get mad an start pointing fingers, cause they only reason they could think of for being sent up there was to protect the weirdass natives but they don’t seem to need no help in the first place. eventually they all calm down and go back down the mountain the day after to figure out what the fuck is going on. Some krityan dude who needs to talk to the soldiers for some reason comes with them.

and then, Duke appears. The narration tells us he’s an ex-knight who still helps Alexei out sometimes. Duke tells these idiots to get the fuck out of there, and they tell him they’re heading toward ‘the fortress’.

This is the moment when this novel starts to fall apart. Nothing makes any sense, the contradictions to the game canon start to compound upon it, and i can no longer take anything else it says seriously.

See in game canon it’s established Duke left the knights because at some point in the war they were fighting with some of the giant bird monsters who thought that they could leave in peace with people. Duke only left the knights cause after the war was won the empire turned on the bird monsters and fucking slaughtered them all, which pissed Duke off so he left. Makes sense.

But here it says that he’s already left the knights, yet still does favors for Alexei and is trying to warn the knights. Now that don’t make a lick of sense. If Duke left the knights, it means the betrayal of the other bird monsters already happened, which means Duke should hate the empire, the knights, and most of all Alexei, who leads all them knights and who we see Duke bitch about like a bad ex-boyfriend through the events of the actual game. And forget Duke acting like it’s opposite day- if all that crap went down to make him switch sides already, why is the war still going on? Shouldn’t it be over? or are we supposed to believe that the winning side would send over a group of 1,000 troops to get meet up with a defense force with a fortress that’s getting attacked by innumerable enemies to clean up the aftermath? what?

Really, I could just end this thing here, but I’m just gettin’ started.

CONTINUED ... MAYBE

cryingwhileeating.com

stigmatize — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 23:38:24 GMT

YESTERDAY I GOT APPROX THREE HOURS OF SLEEP AND POKED WITH NEEDLES AND BLOOD DRAWN AND THE LADY DOING IT WAS SO FUCKING INEPT SHE HAD TO POKE ME TWICE TO GET A VEIN UGHHHHHHHHH

THEN LAST NIGHT I WENT TO BED AT AN APPROPRIATE TIME AND FEEL ASLEEP AND IT WAS GOOD

BUT THEN I WOKE UP AT 630 AM AND THOUGHT IT WAS PM AND FREAKED OUT BEFORE I REALIZED WHAT HAPPENED

THEN I FELL ASLEEP AND WOKE UP AGAIN AND MY CLOCK SAID 4 BUT MAYBE I DREAMED THAT CAUSE I DON'T THINK THAT'S POSSIBLE

THEN I FELL ASLEEP AGAIN AND WOKE UP 450 PM

I CAN'T EVEN

THEN I TOOK A SHOWER AND WENT TO THE FRIDGE TO FIND SOMETHING TO EAT AND REALIZED MOM HAD ONLY BOUGHT ROAST BEEF FOR LUNCH MEAT

SHE KNOWS I LIKE HAM

SHE KNOWS I ONLY WANT HER TO EVER GET HAM

THEN I STARED INTO THE FRIDGE FOR LIKE THREE MINUTES ON THE VERGE OF TEARS

AND NOW I'M WRITING THIS WHILE NOT ACTUALLY EATING ANYTHING

I'M SO SAD

i'm always in this twilight

stigmatize — Mon, 01 Nov 2010 04:50:57 GMT

SO CHILLUNS, WHAT WAS EVERYONE FOR HALLOWEEN?

you should see my scars

stigmatize — Sat, 23 Oct 2010 05:48:12 GMT

this is ... going to be a sorta tmi entry. idk.

so like, i haven't been feeling well lately! So mom was like GO SEE THE DOCTOR AND GET A PHYSICAL I'LL SET IT UP FOR YOU

so the other day i'm half-listening to her make the appointment for me and i sort of ... shriek as i hear her schedule a pelvic exam for me. without asking me. or informing me before hand.

I AM ~AWARE~ THAT YOU NEED THOSE THINGS AND STUFF BUT LIKE. I've had major touching issues since I was nine years old. My mother knows this. For the most part I've been able to become comfortable with hugs and other casual touching, but when it comes to MY LADY PARTS like. i freak the fuck out. NO ONE BUT ME CAN TOUCH DOWN THERE OKAY? OKAY. and even when I flick the bean and what not that's ... all it is. I never do things ~inside~ because it freaks me the fuck out and I can't even wear tampons without giving myself a pep talk ... for all the three, maybe four times I've actually (had) to use them.

so when i go MOM UM WTF R U DOIN she just tells me that i need to do it, everyone gets it done, i have to have it, stop whining. And that ... doesn't sit well with me? I'm not sexually active, I've never had anything wrong with my business down there and ... I don't want to have some stranger invading me in the worst possible way I can imagine if I'm not actively concerned that something is wrong down there. AND I WANT TO FEEL LIKE IT'S OKAY TO FEEL THAT WAY baw.

AUGH, WHAT DO?

so easy and free

stigmatize — Tue, 05 Oct 2010 05:42:18 GMT

I'm glad to look back and see how I've grown as a person, but sometimes I miss being childish. Not trying to censor yourself is stupid, but it never makes you feel so bottled up.

hurr hurr hipster

stigmatize — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 21:04:40 GMT

01. Answer each of the questions using the flickr search engine here: flickr.com
02. Choose a photo from the first three pages.
03. Copy the URL of your favorite photos to make a mosaic here: bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php
04. Then share with the world. [SAVE, then upload]

1. First Name
2. Favourite Food
3. Hometown
4. Favourite Colour
5. Celebrity Crush
6. Favourite Drink
7. Dream Holiday
8. Favourite Dessert
9. What I Want To Be When I Grow Up
10. What I Love Most In The World
11. One Word That Describes Me
12. My Nickname

no one man should have all that power

stigmatize — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 05:31:53 GMT

... to make Taylor Swift act like the big scary black man murdered her family and ruined her thirteenth birthday party.

NOT SURE HOW ANYONE NOTICED HER AFTER FLORENCE GRACED US ALL WITH HER BEAUTY, REALLY